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Funny / Darkwing Duck

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Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!
As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.
* "Apes of Wrath":
  • When Drake tries to close a suitcase. Nuff said.
  • Darkwing gets interrupted TWICE while saying his famous catchprase.
    (first time) Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in th—(gets knocked over by Major Trenchrot) Hey. I-I'm not finished.
    (second time) Darkwing: NOW! As I was saying! I am the terror! That flaps in the night! I am the flea! YOU CANNOT FLICK! (he then gets kicked off by Trenchrot again, then gets back up and grabs Trenchrot's mustasche and finally gets to finish the line.
  • "Getting Antsy":
    • When Drake attempts to get some sleep in the afternoon, Gosalyn prepares to drive a golf ball off of his bill whilst he rests. He then reveals he is still awake and utters this legendary line: "Have I ever told you the story of the little girl, the golf club and the firing squad?"
    • Darkwing: Ants can lift ten times their weight.
      Launchpad: Big deal — anyone can lift ten times an ant's weight.
  • "Night of the Living Spud":
    • Darkwing demonstrates the "proper" way to get a semi to stop and give you a lift: stepping boldly out into the road, extending your arm and declaring "HALT!" The truck promptly runs him down and grinds to a stop.
      Darkwing: See...? Works every time...
    • "You don't say potato backwards — you say potato backwards!"
    • "Red potatoes ya can reason with, but Russets, they's just plain mean!"
    • The rednecks are testing to see whether Darkwing's a vampire, and Gosealyn gets a bit too caught up in it all:
      Gosalyn: Well, in the Umpire of Vampire Empire, the vampire wouldn't burn when they set fire to him.
      Darkwing: Gosalyn, whose side are you on?!?!
      Moe: [lighting a match] Zack, get the diesel fuel.
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  • The family photo on the wall in, "Easy Come, Easy Grows" which has very annoyed looking Gosalyn pulling her hair and sticking out her tounge.
  • This exchange from "Trading Faces", the episode where Gosalyn and Honker switch brains with Darkwing and Launchpad.
    Gosalyn: You're both grounded for life and your allowance is suspended until further notice! Fun, huh, Dad? Just like when you yell at me!
    Darkwing: I never yell at you like that. [sees damaged stairs] YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE AND YOUR ALLOWANCE IS SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER—Yow!
  • In "You Sweat Your Life", Darkwing and Herb end up getting chained to each other due to their bracelets mending together, with Herb driving Darkwing insane with his endless story-telling. When they get tied up by the Villain of the Week and stuck in a room with a Time Bomb, Darkwing is unable to reach the ropes around his feet and has to get Herb to do a sit-up.
    Herb: A sit-up?! I couldn't do a sit-up if my life depended on it!
    Darkwing: In case you've forgotten, IT DOES!!!!
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  • From "All's Fahrenheit in Love and War":
    Darkwing Duck: I suppose now you're going to tell us all about your sinister scheme.
    Isis Vanderchill: Reveal my plan? What do you think this is? A cheap cartoon?
  • Gosalyn's half-assed attempts at doing her homework in "Whiffle While You Work".
    Gosalyn: Math. No sweat. I've got multiple choice down to a fine art. [draws a Scantron Picture of Whiffle Boy's head] A masterpiece! History. "Discuss the president you admire most and why". George Washington, because he invented the dollar bill. That's history. Science. "Prepare a simple compound." Piece of cake! [bakes a chocolate cake] Chocolate fudge! Homework's done.
  • "Dry Hard":
    • After the Liquidator turns all of St. Canard's tap water into hard water, Darkwing and Launchpad end up landing in the still-normal bay, prompting Darkwing to taunt Liquidator with this: "We can drink the baa-ay! Nya, nya!" Liquidator then retaliates by hardening the bay as well: "Oh no, you caa-an't!"
    • Also, throughout the episode, Bud Flood was followed around by crooning women singing ad jingles whilst wearing whatever costume fit for the situation. They even followed him around when he turned into the Liquidator and, as he trapped Darkwing in boiling water, they strutted around singing in lobster costumes.
    • The angrily shouted "I don't need no stinking pinckney flange!"
  • "In Like Blunt": Derek Blunt has just drawn a circle around the island of Phineas Sharp. D.W. is so shocked he can only say "You drew on my map" in a voice so deadpan and disbelieving.
  • "Negaduck":
    • Megavolt's attempt at escaping Darkwing by jumping through the window quickly runs into a snag.
      Megavolt: [panting in relief after barely managing to climb back in through the window] I forgot we're on the 90th floor...
    • Negaduck I, while a bit terrifying galvanized, is pretty funny when he's normal.
      Negaduck I: You broke my statue.
      Gosalyn: I'm glad you came to your senses. Now will you ground me?
      Negaduck I: Ground you? Oh, I'll ground you alright! Into HAMBURGER! You'll spend the rest of your life paying for this!

      Negaduck I: [to Posiduck] Give me back my face! You're getting it ugly!

      Negaduck I: I'll handle [the Muddlefoots]! Where's my shotgun?

      Negaduck I: [to Herb] Freeloading my food again, eh, fatty?!
      • That said, he's still funny even when galvanized. "NEVER EAT AT A PLACE CALLED MOM'S!"
    • Megavolt acting like the negatron Negaduck is his son.
    • All of Galvanized Posiduck's lines. Don't forget to floss!
  • "Battle of the Brainteasers":
  • At least half of DW's intro lines.
    Darkwing: (appears in a cloud of red smoke) I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT... I AM... obviously all out of my trademark blue smoke...
  • This exchange from "Life, the Negaverse and Everything".
    Television Reporter: Newsflash: Darkwing Duck is loose in St. Canard! Mighty Negaduck demands that Darkwing Duck be arrested on sight.
    NegaDuck: No, I said "shot"! Darkwing Duck should be shot on sight! ...Or skinned. Yeah! Skin him alive! ...No, no, even better, burn him to fiery ash! ...And then arrest him.
  • The exposition dialogue explaining how Darkwing ended up in a wheelchair:
    Darkwing: If it weren't for that stupid ski accident, I wouldn't be sitting in this thing.
    Launchpad: Well, I told you things got rough at those ski shop sales. You're lucky only your legs were broken.
  • "Dances With Bigfoot": Darkwing has been kidnapped by a primitive tribe to be fed to their volcano god. Gosalyn uses a comic book to translate the tribe's language and says they'll release him if he passes their tests — a fight with their champion and a dance contest. After Gosalyn helps him win both, the tribe chief says something to them.
    Darkwing: What does that mean?
    Gosalyn: It means, "You have passed the tests, therefore, you're free to go."
    (fade to them tied up and standing at spear point on the volcano's edge)
    Honker: Or, "You have passed the tests, therefore, you are worthy of being thrown into the volcano."
    Darkwing: Remind me to thank you properly for helping daddy pass those tests, dear.
  • "Just Us Justice Ducks":
    • Negaduck is posing as Darkwing Duck to steal a bazooka from SHUSH, but Darkwing soon enters the room.
      J. Gander Hooter: Who-what-eh... two Darkwings?!
      Darkwing and Negaduck: (in unison) Don't you believe it, J. Gander?! This fiend is my archnemesis, Negaduck! ...Oh no, you don't! You're the lecherous liar known as Negaduck! ...I beg to differ! You're the erroneous executor of evil known as Negaduck! ...OOOOH!! Would you cut that out?!
    • This episode has the best Humiliation Conga ever. As well as...
      Darkwing: (posing as a delivery man) Flowers for Negaduck!
      Negaduck: I hate flowers.
      Darkwing: Er, did I say flowers? I meant skulls. Skulls for Negaduck!
      Negaduck: (salivates) I'll be right there.
    • The punchline to that scene:
      Darkwing: Oh, did I say skulls? I meant ANVILS! (WHACK!)
    • "Aww, I dented my anvil!"
    • "Now it's time to say good-bye to all our company!" Negaduck quoting the Mickey Mouse Club. Sheer cool.
    • Earlier in the episode:
      Stegmutt: I'm sorry, are you busy?
      Darkwing: Busy? No, no, no-no-no— I'm only standing here with Liquidator and Bushroot, the most dangerous criminals ever, and we're playing let's pretend!
      Stegmutt: (Jumping up and down in excitement) Oh, boy! I love let's pretend!
      Liquidator: Yeah! Let's pretend! Let's pretend he's on fire!
      Bushroot: Yeah! Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!
      Darkwing: Nice try, greensleeves-
      Stegmutt: (grabs Darkwing and starts smacking him against the ground) Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!
      Liquidator: 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed say it's time for us to get out of here!
    • Then, Bushroot's giant plant falls on him. Even funnier is Darkwing's expression after Stegmutt pulls him out from under the beanstalk when Stegmutt asks him what his first most-painful moment was after Darkwing remarks that getting crushed by the beanstalk was his second most-painful moment.
      Darkwing: This is the second most painful moment of my life.
      Stegmutt: What was the first most painful?
      Darkwing: "Put out the Darkwing, put out the Darkwing!"
    • And a short time later, after Darkwing unthinkingly offends Neptunia, she hurls him halfway across the city to end up buried upside down to his waist in solid asphalt:
      Darkwing: This is the third most painful moment of my life.
    • In the final battle:
      Stegmutt: (has Bushroot by the neck) Gee, I've never fought a supervillain before. What do I do?
      Darkwing: It's easy, Stegmutt! Let's pretend Mr. Bushroot is on fire!
      Bushroot: Uh-oh!
      Stegmutt: (begins bashing Bushroot against the floor) Put out the Bushroot! Put out the Bushroot!
    • Liquidator's reaction when Darkwing produces a box of pudding powder and Morgana transmits it to the air immediately over the water-based villain's head: "AAAHHHH!! DO NOT ADD WATER!!"
    • "It will take more than two treacherous transgressors to taint the track record of... DARKWIIIIING... Yak."
    • After catching Negaduck as he bounces repeatedly off electricity wires with a pie, a flowerpot, an anvil, a safe, and a 100 ton weight, Darkwing rushes to the ground and drives up to where Negaduck is about to fall in a garbage truck... then reverses out of the way to let him make a Negaduck-shaped hole in the road, while saying, "Oops. Missed."
  • While "Time and Punishment" is one of the darkest episodes, it was funny to see Darkwarrior's Papa Wolf instincts cranked up so high that the outfit he gave Gosalyn to wear as his sidekick prevents her from moving at all.
  • In "Twin Beaks" Bushroot rallies his troops against the alien cabbage invasion. (He may be a mutant vegetable duck, but he's an Earth mutant vegetable duck.)
    Bushroot: No one's going to call us a bunch of pansies!
    [A bunch of his sentient pansies start complaining.]
    Bushroot: Sorry, guys.
  • "Malice's Restaurant":
    Morgana: If you're not ashamed of me, then why don't you take me anywhere! Why have I never met any of your friends!
    Darkwing: With my busy crime-busting schedule, I don't have time to make friends!
    Launchpad: Gee, D.W., what about Herb and Binkie?
    Darkwing: You exist to torment me, don'tcha?
    • When Binkie Muddlefoot compliments Morgana on her hair
      Drake: I can explain the bats.
      Herb [staring wide-eyed]: Please don't!
    • At one point, the Cute Little Lost Bunnies scare Negaduck just by hugging his leg.
  • "The Secret Origins of Darkwing Duck."
    Venerable One: (thwack) Freeloader.

    Darkwing: ...She's...gone...
    Launchpad: Ya sure?
    Darkwing: Mmmm, yeah.

    Avenger: (in those "from beyond the grave" type thought bubbles) (gasp) Atta boy...Darkwing...ugh I'm dead.
  • From "Stressed to Kill"
    • A fly keeps exasperating Darkwing while he's trying to relax. Launchpad and Gosalyn come into the living room to see Darkwing having set up dynamite to kill it.
      Darkwing: Shhhhh, it's a flyyyyy… [cackles]
    • Darkwing's reaction to being snapped out of his Relaxatron-induced calm: "WHO?! WHAT?! WHEN?! WHERE?! SOMETIMES WHY?!"
  • From "Jail Bird": Negaduck has absorbed all the powers of the Fearsome Five.
    Quackerjack: I'm ruined! Ruined! Ruined!!!
    Mega Negaduck: What are you whining about? You never had any powers to begin with!
    Quackerjack: YOU STOLE MY WACKINESS!
    Mega Negaduck: I did not- (suddenly sprouts giant teeth similar to Quackerjack's) HOO-HOO HOO HOO! (giant teeth disappear) Okay, so I did!
  • From the episode "Whirled History"
    • "I claim this India in the name of Spain!" It gets to the point where his ship even ends up on the moon.
    • "That's one small step for man, one... (Notices Megavolt crushed under the landing craft) ...really bad day for that guy!"
    • Leif Erikson and Christopher Columbus (both portrayed by Darkwing) arguing over which of them discovered America first.
    • Darkwing gets thrown against a wall while protecting his sleepwalking daughter. It turns out Megavolt was staying in the house. He yells about having his beauty sleep disturbed and when he recognizes who just smacked into his wall, he moans that Darkwing will haunt him for the rest of his life.
  • "The Haunting of Mr. Banana Brain":
    • Launchpad's increasingly desperate attempts to get out of hearing the story. At one point, he derails the entire cartoon by trying to narrate a picnic instead. At the scariest point he actually has a heart attack - and after the commercial break they just keep telling the story anyway.
      (Gosalyn has just tried to get rid of Paddywhack's jack-in-the-box by throwing it into a safe and slamming the door, only for it to reappear on the table; she screams and jumps into Launchpad's arms)
      Gosalyn: Keep calm, Launchpad... I'm sure this has a logical, rational explanation...
      Launchpad: Yeah, like the box is cursed!
      Gosalyn: Sounds right to me, let's get Dad! (they run for the door in a blind panic, only for the door to roll up as though on a strip of wallpaper, causing them to crash into the wall) Radical...
      (bluebirds begin flying around their heads, and the scene dissolves to a pleasant meadow as Darkwing, Gosalyn, and Launchpad walk through carrying a picnic basket)
      Launchpad: (voiceover) Remember when... we went on that picnic last summer? The sun was out. The air was fresh! It was a great day to be alive! (Gosalyn walks up with a bunch of flowers and sniffs them; the scene dissolves back to Darkwing's lair, and Gosalyn throws the flowers aside)
      Gosalyn: Launchpad, what are you doing!? I'm trying to build a little atmosphere!
    • Darkwing and Quackerjack teaming up to defeat Paddywhack is hysterical and must be seen to be believed.
      Paddywhack: Yes... time to taste a little misery. (we hear Darkwing and Quackerjack laughing insanely; Quackerjack squirts Darkwing with a trick flower, then Darkwing smashes Quackerjack with a giant mallet, then they both laugh in unison) I thought you'd be more... miserable.
      Darkwing: (laughs as he walks past holding Quackerjack's feet as he walks on his hands, "wheelbarrow" style) Not us! We love this crazy place!
      Quackerjack: Yeah! It lets me truly... express myself! (smashes Darkwing with a giant anvil)
      Darkwing: (as his beak and hands protrude from under the anvil) Whoooah, waka... say, Quackerjack, didja get the licence of that truck?
      Quackerjack: Ah, no, but I got the truck, ah-waka waka! (opens a nearby door; a truck speeds out and runs Paddywhack over while blaring its horn)
      Paddywhack: (stands up woozily) Wait, I'm not supposed to- (knock knock) I'm certainly not going to answer that. (a grand piano falls out of the sky and lands on him)
      Darkwing: (hops out of the piano) I'll get it! (he opens the door as a furious Paddywhack storms over and gets knocked flying by a giant boxing glove that emerges from the door)
      Quackerjack: (appears through the door) No - he got it!
      Paddywhack: (head spinning around) S-s-stop it! You're, you're starving me! (shrinks to half his size)
      Darkwing: Not so tasty on the receiving end, is it?
      Quackerjack: (through Mr. Banana Brain) Say fellas, maybe this is the part where we show him love and kindness, and he vows to mend his evil ways! (Paddywhack nods eagerly and points at Mr. Banana Brain)
      Darkwing, Quackerjack: Eh... NAH! (they shock Paddywhack with joy buzzers; he shoots into the air, then Darkwing produces a whoopee cushion, which Paddywhack lands on) (falsetto "schoolgirl" voices) Oh, goodness!...
  • "Clash Reunion":
    • "Has Daddy ever told you the story of the little girl, the marking pen, and the pit of eternal flame?"
    • It seems Megavolt's train of thought is easily derailed.
      • When he has high school bullies Ham String and Preena Lott at his mercy, he declares, "At last, I shall have my revenge on those who tormented me! Those who MADE ME WHO I AM! Wait, wha... What am I, anyway? A dentist? No... A lumberjack? No... King of the Jungle?"
      • When he appears to have defeated Darkwing and is about to incinerate Ham, Preena, Gosalyn, and Launchpad in a giant lightbulb, he laughs, "At last! At last I'll be rid of those meddling kids and their nosy dog!... whoa, wrong cartoon."
      • And when Darkwing finally foils his scheme at the end of the episode, he declares, "I may have been defeated, but I know Darkwing's secret identity! He's... Elmo Sputterspark! No, wait, that's not right. Ham String? No, that's the big guy..."
    • Darkwing Duck gets his former classmates to apologize for mistreating him.
      Ham String: I'm sorry for acting like a chowder head.
      Darkwing Duck: Aw, Ham, you weren't acting.
    • To protect his secret identity, Darkwing Duck uses the same hypnotic disc on Ham and Preena with which he accidentally hypnotised himself years earlier.
      Draaaake Mallard is not Darkwing Duck. Draaake Mallard is not Darkwing Duck. But he is an all-around cool guy and you should never pick on him! Good thing I finally figured out how this puppy works.
  • Megavolt and Darkwing's interactions in "The Frequency Fiends" are hilarious, especially this gem:
    Megavolt: We need negative polarity!
    Darkwing: A-da-da-da-da-da! This is some kind of trick! Even I know negative is bad! Positive is good!
    Megavolt: Negative.
    Darkwing: Positive.
    Megavolt: Negative!
    Darkwing: Positive!
    Megavolt: NEGATIVE! Negative, negative, negative!
    Darkwing: Positive, positive positive pos pos pos pos pos-
    Gosalyn: Hold it! Don't you think you're being a little bit immature?!
    Darkwing: You're right... (Grabs a chair and rope, and ties up Megavolt) Positive.
    Megavolt: (Practically in tears) I think what hurts the most is that you call yourself a superhero!
  • Pretty much all of "My Valentine Ghoul". It has got to be one of the funniest episodes.
    • It's already hilarious to see Negaduck pretend to be reformed and keep spoiling Darkwing and Morgana's date like a bratty brother trying to get D.W. in trouble, but it gets HYSTERICAL once D.W. is affected by a love potion Gosalyn makes and believes Negaduck is his best friend.
      Darkwing: Aaaw, what's the matter, Negsy, old pal? Is there anything else I can do for you!?
      Negaduck: Yeah! Go jump off a cliff!
      Darkwing: Yo. Anything for you, Negmeister!
      (Darkwing runs out of the house to a large cliff and jumps off screaming 'GERONIMOOOO!')
      Negaduck: And to think; all this time, all I had to do was ask.
    • Later, Gosalyn gets affected by the love potion. After Gosalyn beats Darkwing and Morgana, she hugs Negaduck, telling him, "If those two give you any more trouble, just let me know." Cue the love potion wearing off and Gosalyn realizing who she's hugging as Negaduck starts growling.
    • And it all gets even funnier near the end when Morgana uses the love potion on Negaduck to make him fall for her and gives him a jawbreaker... literally. She punches him so hard in the beak he flies into his own pile of stolen diamonds, is covered in chocolate and packed in his own box of valentine sweets. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome for Morgana.
  • "Steerminator"
    • Trying to think of a way to get herself and Honker out of Bulba's captivity, Gosalyn suddenly tells Honker to take off his clothes. While she goes on to explain that she needs his paint-soaked shirt and backpack (which is pretty much all of his clothes) to leave a marker in the river for Darkwing to follow, he is understandably taken aback by the request.
    • When Taurus Bulba, now a super-cyborg, grabs Darkwing with some nasty intentions, the hero kisses him, causing the villain to let him go and frantically rub his lips in disgust. May also double as Awesome.
  • Tuskernini's trial at the beginning of "Adopt-a-Con" is just golden.
    Darkwing Duck: I caught that hateful, underhanded ham, Tuskernini, robbing a bank.
    Tuskernini: Objection, your honor! I am not a ham!
    Judge: Darkwing Duck, do you have any evidence?
    Darkwing Duck: These reviews of his performance in "Son of Macbeth."
    Judge: I mean the bank robbery!
    • Darkwing having to evade a guard dog, swim through an alligator-filled moat, and trek through a desert while switching between his civilian and superhero identities. During a hostage situation at the bank, no less.
  • The ending to the video game, while short and pointless, gives us a perfect DW moment. He's riding down the street on the Ratcatcher, with dramatic, Mega Man X-ish music playing in the background. Then he hits a rock, which stops the Ratcatcher dead, and launches D.W. into the air. The game pauses as he's silhouetted against the moon, and the theme plays.
  • In "Dead Duck", when Launchpad tearfully says that he can "almost hear" Darkwing, Darkwing's ghost, in a moment obviously borrowed from Daffy Duck, jumps up and down and screams, "Almost? If I yell any louder, I'll rupture something!"
  • "Slaves to Fashion" has a lot of funny moments. For example, the hypno-gas makes Launchpad fly an imaginary plane due to wearing his pilot regalia at the costume party while Gosalyn and Honker start conversing as if they are upper class snobs. Near the end of the episode, Darkwing and Tuskernini end up in costumes and adopting different personae, resulting in the two dressing like a bride and groom and almost getting married until Gosalyn pulls her father away.
  • "Toys Czar Us" has Drake multitasking, reading a book on how to be the "perfect parent" while doing the laundry and making dinner. The result? While he's on the phone with Launchpad, an ocean of suds starts rolling onscreen from one direction and a plume of black smoke from the other.
    Gosalyn: Oh, dad...
    Drake: Not now, Daddy's talking on Mr. Phone!
    Gosalyn: But, dad...!
  • In "The Quiverwing Quack", when Darkwing is told by Launchpad that his father gave advice that you have to let go and you can't coddle your children forever, an awed Darkwing asks "Your father told you that?" Launchpad then answers that his father did tell him that advice, right before he kicked him out and told him to get a job.
    • Also in that episode is this exchange between Negaduck and Darkwing;
    Darkwing: You've lit your last fuse, fiend!
    Negaduck: Are you kidding? These were in the clearance bin at Discounts"R"Us; I've got enough to last all night!
    *Negaduck tosses two more bombs at Darkwing, who begins juggling them as he attempts to blow the fuses out*
    Darkwing: You're (*blows*) obviously over-reacting (*blows twice*) to (*blows twice more*) no longer being Public Enemy #1! (*blows twice again*)
    *Negaduck runs right over to Darkwing, obviously angry*
    Negaduck: WHAT?! I am too #1!
    Darkwing: Are not! I'll show you! Here, hold these a sec!
    *Darkwing hands the bombs to Negaduck and pulls out a paper, which has Dr. Slug, Negaduck, and Megavolt on it*
    Darkwing: See? Right behind Dr. Slug!
    Negaduck: Dr. Slug?! He couldn't slime his way out of a PAPER BAG!
    *Negaduck rips the paper from Darkwing's hands, dropping all the bombs in his arms instead, and stalks off*
    Negaduck: GIVE ME THAT! Number 2?! That does it! This town is toast!
    *The bombs all explode; we cut back to Darkwing covered in soot, his clothes torn*
    Darkwing: [clearly dazed] Oh, goodie! I'll get the marmalade!
  • "Mutantcy On The Bouncy":
    Darkwing: You did pretty good....for a mutant.
    Rubber Chicken: And you did pretty good....for a vain, pig-headed, loudmouthed, snooty, egomaniacal waffle-brain!
    Darkwing: Hey! I am not vain!
  • "Disguise The Limit"
    • After transforming into Negaduck, Darkwing heads over to the real Negaduck's lair and the two get in an argument about who's the more evil of the two, each bringing out superior firepower as they do.
    • Negaduck's plan to frame Darkwing backfires at one point when an angry mob mistakes him for the real deal.
  • This exchange from "Monsters R Us":
    Moloculo MacCawber: You know I don't approve of normals in my household, Morgana!
    Darkwing: Hey, hey! I'm not normal!
    Gosalyn: Pfft! You can say that again!
  • From "Ghoul of my Dreams": "I just wish you saw that lamppost before we slammed into it!" Spoken by anyone else, such a line would be innocuous. Spoken by Launchpad Captain Crash McQuack, it's the most hilarious instance of Hypocritical Humor ever!
  • "Dirtysomething": Darkwing and Launchpad are left with no choice but to take the bus when their usual modes of transportation were recycled by Gosalyn. The bus is crowded, some of the other passengers recognize Darkwing (who wants to keep a low profile), and a mean old lady assaults him with her purse when he takes the last empty seat. Darkwing and Launchpad then get shoved off the bus once they reach their stop.
    Darkwing: The worst part of public transportation... is the public.

From the comic:

  • This exchange:
    Launchpad: D.W., Liquidator’s used the cold snap to make beings of pure ice!
    Darkwing: Not a problem.
    Launchpad: Bullets can't stop 'em! The ice just grows back.
    Darkwing: Only a small matter.
    Launchpad: Not to mention, YOUR LEFT ARM HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A SNAKE!
    Darkwing: Barely worth noting.
    • And later...
      Launchpad: D.W., Quackerjack has turned every G.I. Melvin toy into his personal army!
      Darkwing: A blip on the radar.
      Launchpad: Yeah, I guess it's not our biggest problem. Now your left arm's been turned into ME!
      Darkwing: This, I'm willing to admit, is an inconvenience.
    • Yet another adventure D.W. reminisces about has him and Launchpad go forward in time to an era where everyone looks like Launchpad.
  • Issue 2:
  • In issue 3, when Darkwing Duck decides to come out of retirement fully.
    Launchpad: [phew] I'm glad ya think so! There uh, aren't really a lot of positions open for sidekicks/pilots. [the other day, whilst holding the Rescue Rangers' plane in his palm] I can pilot this!
    Gadget: No. No, you cannot.
  • Issue 5, the Crimebots have been repurposed as short order books, gardeners, and personal injury lawyers.
  • Guard dogs! Guard flamingos! Guard dogs riding guard flamingos!!
  • "Aw, he wants a game of hide-and-seek! Well, two can play at that... um... game. Of hide-and-seek. Because that's how it's played."
  • The first collection includes this nugget of gold in a letter from series creator Tad Stones, on the creation of Darkwing Duck:
    In the shadows of his hidden lair, Drake Mallard ponders his role in bringing justice to the city of St. Canard, "Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, so my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts! I must be a creature of the night..." As if in answer, a duck flies in the open window. Mallard vaults to his feet. "It's an omen! I shall become a DUCK!" He pauses a moment and ponders further, "Wait, I AM a duck. How is this going to work?"
  • Issue 10:
    • F.O.W.L's gadgets. ESPECIALLY the dartgun-watch.
    • Steelbeak: That's right. There are the eggmen... And there is the Walrus!
  • When Cat-Tankerous is defeated in issue 14, he says "I can haz destruction?" Unfortunately, this one was omitted in the Joe Books omnibus.
  • A funny moment unique to the Joe Books collection occurs in the "F.O.W.L. Disposition" arc when Morgana starts using her magic to get rid of Duckthulhu.
    Duckthulhu: My hand! How can I fist bump without a hand?!
  • The first issue of the Joe Books revival has Gosalyn hogtie Tank at the Muddlefoots' barbecue.
  • In "St. Canard Comic Expo-Fest-O-Rama", Darkwing Duck defeats Splatter Pheonix by trapping her in an ad for Mostess Veggie Pies.