Funny / D20 Live

• From the 2012 campaign:
  • The recounting of "The Greatest Swordsman in the World". A single boast by Tandem the Spoony pisses off the wrong guy, a dedicated sword specialist, who felt his honour was sullied. He challenges Tandem to a duel to first blood - he botches, losing his sword, as Tandem gets a crit. He concedes, but follows Tandem around, asserting his boast around powerful fighters in hopes to get him killed. However, he wins every battle, even managing through luck and guile to defeat a gigantic, tree-wielding gladiator by crippling his primary arm and finishing him off with Death by a Thousand Cuts. The gobsmacked specialist never bothered him again. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
    • Spoony tells this story to fill time while Big Mike sets up the game. Then in a Brick Joke as soon as the game starts and You All Meet in an Inn, Spoony introduces himself to the others as "Hi, I'm Tandem...the Greatest Swordsman in the World!" (audience laughter)
  • People in the crowd keep calling out references to Spoony's Ultima IX review, especially "What's a paladin?"; sometimes this is funny but other times it's just annoying. Then a few minutes later, Spoony tops them all when the DM says that the campaign is set in a land called "Britannia" and the crowd reacts...
    Big Mike: No, Spoony, that wasn't on purpose I swear!
    Spoony: No, it's okay. I have an advantage. After all, my knowledge of the land shall be great!
  • Spoony looks at his skills and is pissed that Big Mike gave him 0 in Thievery...but on the other hand, he has 12 ranks in Science. One has to wonder if Big Mike knew what he was doing with that one.
    • When Spoony reads this out, the crowd cheers and a fan yells "Science" in a Doctor Insano voice.
  • Early in the adventure, the quartet decides to find a prostitute in order to get information. One of the adventurers decides to step into the center of town and yell "I require a prostitute!". Later, they see a suspicious-looking man who they steal a scroll from, only to find it is instructions for a role-playing game; earning a "What?!" from the party.
    Big Mike: Congratulations guys, you mugged a bunch of Dungeons and Dragons geeks.
    • As they're leaving, Roo uses the Mage Hand spell to turn one of the geeks' rolls into 1; they can hear the sounds of the players shouting from outside.
    • The geeks in the game are also supposed to be Expies of the players, with Spoony questioning how meta it is. But, it gets more meta when, after Roo uses Mage Hand on the die, Linkara is the next one to roll...and gets a 1. Even members of the crowd bring up that it is has to be from what Roo did before.
  • And when they first hear the rumor about robed figures carrying sacks around town, Spoony speaks up to ask "are they alchemist-sized bundles?"
  • When the party releases the missing alchemists, Big Mike says that one of them comes up to the group, with a mane of wild white hair looking bug-eyed. Spoony calls out "Marty! You've gotta come back with me! Its your kids!", and Big Mike admits that this is exactly the joke he was making, and Spoony's impression is better.
  • When Roo tries to ask where the missing alchemists were last seen, Big Mike tells him he didn't think to ask the employer before he left. Roo then says "okay, so we burn the town to the ground-" (*Big Mike Facepalms*) "and when it's done, the alchemists will be in the ashes!"
  • Linkara accidentally killing an opponent he tried to immobilize with an arrow to the knee. The arrow alone wouldn't have killed it, but the fact that his opponent had several weapons stuck in his hide and a bag full of crushed glass in his face thanks to Spoony, combined with the shot to the knee being a critical hit, caused the opponent to fall over front first, impaling himself on the weapons.
  • In the intermission, Big Mike recounts how another DM was angry at him; Spoony, Roo, Dodd, and Linkara all chose distinct character classes and Big Mike assinged them unique skills. Meanwhile, in a different game the other DM was around for; the party was comprised only of fighters, decided to fight two Gorgons when underleveled and without splitting them up, with the last action in that game before the ConBravo campaign started was one Gorgon using one of the players as a club to whack the others.
  • When they are trying to return the girl to her father, Spoony decides to distract her by "dedicating a song to her" while she's talking to a man in red robes. When they ask about the man's importance to the quest, Spoony's first words are:
    Spoony: Get lost, Nerd!
    • On top of that, Spoony's song starts with "She's a very special girl, the kind of girl you don't bring home to Mother...and soon she's gonna be in a burlap sack and sent back home to her dad". He then belts out the chorus of Rick James' "Super Freak".
  • Better yet, the group argues about whether to tell the leader of the guild the truth (they knocked his daughter unconcious after she drugged and stole from them, then tossed her in a burlap sack) or lie (and blame the guy that she was with, whom they incidentally knock out in front of the leader).
  • Spoony's reminder that, as he decides to insult the dragon, he is firmly behind a tree. When the dragon snorts and flies into the air, he further comments "I know where he's going with this, which is why I'm still behind the tree."
  • When the dragon uses his breath weapon on Spoony (actually just an illusionary image of him), Big Mike (the DM) rolls:
    Spoony: BOTCH! *stands up* GREATEST IN THE WORLD! *starts chanting "Yes! Yes! along with the audience*
    Big Mike: Spoony... please look a little closer at the dice. It's a seven.
    Spoony: *deflated* Oooh... *Beat* You still miss, bitch.
    Big Mike: *dejected* Yes, I do...
  • A lot of the hilarity at the end is Big Mike losing it as his dragon comes closer and closer to death. When Roo lands the finishing blow, Big Mike responds by calmly turning off his microphone, getting out of his chair, walking over to the wall, and proclaiming his displeasure to it.
  • Another amusing note from the crowd after everyone began to hit the fallen dragon's spine, "I DUB THIS PARTY 'SPINAL TAP'!"
  • When Tandem the Spoony gets a critical hit on the dragon's spine, the callback to 'greatest swordsman in the world' and Tandem's crazy luck:
    Spoony: I told you!
    Big Mike: I didn't believe you!
    Spoony: Nobody does!
  • The moment when Big Mike's campain started coming completely undone: In the middle of the black dragon's speech to its minions...
    Spoony: ExCUSE me!
    Big Mike: Oh, for fuck's sake!

• From the 2013 adventure:
  • Linkara's character's alignment: Not A Thief.
  • Mark Meer uses his "advanced interrogation kit" (a baseball bat with a nail through it) to "interrogate" a Xenomorph face-hugger. Linkara's reaction really sells the sheer hilarity of it.
    Mark Meer: *rolls* Eighteen. And I have ADVANCED interrogation. It's telling me everything it knows!

• From the 2014 game:
  • Roo turning a four-armed gargoyle into an adorable 10th level, 110HP kitten, which is then tamed and joins the party. After the game's intermission, the party reveal they've chosen to name the kitten Fussy Britches, and one of Big Mike's assistants puts up an image of a wet cat◊ to represent Fussy Britches... much to Big Mike's annoyance.
    • On top of that, the party's decision of what to do with the cat is hilarious as they try to Smite Evil on it, discuss suffocating it in a bag of holding and keeping it as a Brick Wall since it has hella HP.
  Nash: It's a 100 hitpoint kitten, right? Why not use it to check for traps? We can literally swing a cat!

  • Fussy Britches ends up being the sole survivor of the campaign.
  • EVERYTHING regarding the players' funny accents and calling each other racist while themselves using stereotypical accents.
  • Everything involving the wall turned into newborn flesh. Especially when Nash botches his roll of getting through it.
  Nash: Everything smells of dead baby...

• From the 2015 ConBravo escapades:
  • Big Mike decides to use Oreo cookies to represent "plot points" (part of the game system), hoping that the players might eat them and thus lose their points. Instead, Nash twists his in two, effectively doubling his plot points and thus the other players follow his example.
  • "YOU SPACED MY GODDAMN STRAWBERRIES!"
    • "The malfunction may have involved fruit."
  • The SS Fussy Britches. Named after a hero who "died as he lived. A hero and an idiot."

• From the 2016 Scion livestream:
  • One of the players attempting to convince a Yakuza to turn a new leaf on life... and thanks to Big Mike's horrible luck with the dice, succeeding splendidly!

• From the 2016 ConBravo game:
  • Between Christopher Sabat and the antics of his character, Sir Steve (to the point Mike incredilously asks if Chris hasn't played tabletop before), and Arkada's repeated attempts to try to plug the hole in Wall Maria, the players seem to succeed in completely breaking Big Mike, causing him to walk off-stage, scream at the top of his lungs, and have to be pulled back to the table.
  • "As you travel...AS YOU TRAVEL..." Cue a staff member imitating horse gallops with two halves of a coconut.
    Mike: With enthusiasm... *staff member speeds up to at least a cantering sound* So [the audience] can hear you... *giving up, the staff clops them right on Big Mike's microphone*
  • The character the players are looking for is Kenny Ackerman. Cue some of the more memetic manga panels of the character, which is prompted a few times by the players.
    • The fact that this character is in season 3, and provided he hadn't been reading the manga, his last name ensured it's a flat-out spoiler for Chris (the anime was still waiting for its second season at that point).
  • When Mike rolls one of his infamous critfails, Ark has this to say:
    Arkada: Hello Wil Wheaton.
    Mike: *stifles a laugh* Don't insult me like that!
  • "Who the fuck threw Nicolas Cage Titan up on my screen?"
  • "Heeeey — I know that guy, he's my father!" Up on the image prompter is Kitz Weilmann, the character Chris voiced.

• From the 2017 game:
  • They manage to steal all of Grand Admiral Thrawn's artwork from his private quarters.
  • The team reprogram a mouse droid to laugh and blow up violently. Lucky wants to make sure it can still feel fear.
  • "I WAS PROMISED JEDI!!"
  • The fact that the only thing that causes the plan to impersonate Thrawn to fail is the real Thrawn turning up.
    • Nash's character's logic on how he can get away with impersonating Thrawn? He's the same species, and the humans think his species all look the same.

• From the 2019 Game:
  • Woolie Versus' Character confronts a Pirate, asking him about the Tea he's drinking. When the Pirate tells him it's "Good Tea", Woolie takes a swig of the Pirate's Tea. This almost leads in to a Bar Brawl, before this exchange.
    Linkara: Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait! We need to confirm some thing! (Looks to Woolie) Was it good tea?
    Woolie: It was f**king good tea, Man! (To Pirate) Sir, You have excellent taste in tea!
    Mike: (As Pirate) Thank you! Will this continue in to an aggressive state, or are you just being a bit of a d!ck, today!?
    Linkara: We just needed to confirm, you were not a liar!
    Mike: (As Pirate) [Beat] Fair...Puzzling, but fair...
  • FamilyJules does some thing that no one in the history of D20 Live has ever done before...ask where the bath room is, and proceeds to go into the bath room!

• From the 2020 Live Stream Charity Game:
  • When the team finds themselves on the Sky Base, the Space Station where they gain their Ranger Powers, FamilyJules realizes there is no bathroom on the station, so just whizzes on the Teleporter.
  • Vangelus as the Silver Paladin Ranger...just...Vangelus...to the point where Linkara falls out of his chair laughing. The people donating to give him stat boosts made it more amusing.