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Funny / Cucumber Quest

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The online comic


Character Profiles

  • Bacon: "Nah"
  • Peridot opts out of using stars to rate her stats and simply puts "better than almond" for all of them.
  • Cordelia's profile has her item be a glass of wine, labelled "Juice for Grownups".

Chapter 1


Intermission 1

Chapter 2

Intermission 2

Chapter 3

Intermission 3

  • Peridot's reaction to her dream about her and Almond getting married.
  • Peridot walks in on... this.
  • Furthermore, she invites the Nightmare Knight to watch Punisher Pumice with her.
    Gigi: it seems like your kind of show, idk
  • From the Q&A strips:
    "I always set the dress code."
    • Tomato recruiting the mailman because his name starts with a B.
    • A new, improved, cooler Splashmaster: the same, but with two eyes.
    • The Nightmare Knight doesn't know what fanfiction is.

Chapter 4

  • The "Forbidden Master" is summoned and subjects our heroes to their deepest darkest fears. All of them are duds due to the fact that the Forbidden Master twists common phobias in contrived manners (i.e. showing Cucumber and Almond a measuring stick for "fear of heights" and exploiting Nautilus's fear of rollercoasters through an emotional rollercoaster (a movie).
    Forbidden Master: Fear of...flying. (as in flying a kite)
    Cucumber: That's not what that means.
    Forbidden Master: Fear of...closed spaces (a closed store)
    Cucumber: That's not what that means.
    Forbidden Master: Fear of...loss (losing a video game)
  • The Forsaken Master turns out to be a small jack-o'-lantern kid and reveals his true name: Thebestmaster, created to be the very best. He then goes and says he wants to prove himself to the Nightmare Knight, or, as he calls him, Steve. The heroes are completely baffled by this development.
  • Thebestmaster turns out to actually like being sealed, so he asks the gang to put him back in the giant crystal. Peridot tries to seal him in a peridot shell, but this turns out to be too weak, so Cucumber decides to try something. He ends up becoming a Magical Girl. The page immediately after says it all.
  • Right after Cucumber becomes a Magical Girl, Bestie decides to put on a show to make his re-sealing feel more special. Cucumber is very apathetic at first, but pretty much goes "screw it" and decides to re-seal Bestie in the flashiest way possible. A flash of light and puff of smoke later, and Bestie's sealed under a giant bathtub drain.
  • After Cucumber points out that the entire Chapter was a waste of time and a distraction due to Thebestmaster providing no real threat, Cordelia and Peridot decide to pretend this was their true intention and abscond in the hammiest way they can. Capped off by Peridot adorably whispering as she leaves:
    bye almond let's hang out

Intermission 4

  • "This is the best cupcake I've ever put in my mouth." It begins from there, and only gets better with the following pages, in which Cordelia is thoroughly confused and doesn't know anymore what she wants from the Nightmare Knight, which leads to this hilarious exchange:
    Cordelia: I don't understand! What happened to the power? The presence? The- the threats??
    Nightmare Knight: You... want me to threaten you?
    Cordelia: NO!... YES?? I DON'T KNOW, I'M HAVING A CRISIS
  • The Nightmare Knight and his Disaster Masters, as they appear in Punisher Pumice.
  • "You misunderstand me, Peridot. This is about more than my ego. Mostly."
  • Everyone's fantastically overblown reactions to the Nightmare Knight coming to Silver Studios, from the fake NK's bravado to his dramatic unmasking as The Guardener, to the Torches and Pitchforks raised when they see his real face.
  • Apparently, Bacon was trying to convince the staff that the Nightmare Knight villain for Pumice was just in poor taste. They might go through with writing him out of the show... not because of their warnings, but because the Pumice NK is too scary for children, according to Moral Guardians.
  • In a Q&A strip, we get a touching moment with Cordelia, as she hints at her own childhood. There's a beat as it seems like she's going to elaborate. She doesn't.
    Cordelia: [smiles softly] Were you expecting me to share my touching backstory? [maniacal smile] In a Q&A segment? YOU FOOL???

Outside the comic

Book-exclusive content

  • Book 3 bonus comic #2
    • Biscotti showing her true ruthlessness.
    • Peridot's epic blunder.
    • The Nightmare Knight purposely mispronouncing Peridot's name.
    • Baguette and Tartelette musing on how hollow their victory is going to be — prompt cut to them celebrating their win and proudly showing off their trophy. Yes, Tartelette included.



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