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Funny / Crucible (Mass Effect)

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Crucible and Interference

  • Javik's getting stalked by Hanars.
  • Tib gets drunk, runs to the medbay where Garrus is looking over a sedated Shepard and demands Garrus to let him sleeping on her boobs since "Her racks are awesome!". Garrus agrees that they are, but they're belonged to him only so... nope.
  • When Gaius's group go to Palaven, they mention that one time in the Alt.timeline when Marcus's fake IDs almost got busted because they were of 90 year-old turian women, both of them.
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  • In the Alt.Future, Tib got home and was disgusted to find Gaius and Amata was having sex on his couch. He demanded they paying him a new couch and a therapy section.
  • Garrus's first meetings with his family in the North often has hilarious results:
    • With his grandmother, it involves her hanging his ass to him in 2 seconds.
      • Kadisa was all cool and proper, then she gets to hold baby Gaius and immediately turns into the opposite.
    • He sees his grandfather Sheor's huge form and compare the old man's hands to industrial diggers since shovels are too small.
    • His uncle talked about how the last time he saw his nephew years ago, Garrus was naked and covered in his own shit.
    • During his and Jane's wedding, all his relatives come with gifts (that are all weapons) then pull his mandibles like he's still a little boy.
  • In the past, Avitus got Kari pregnant before marriage and had to break the news to their parents. Sheor, after hearing it, didn't say anything and just flipped the table to the side then charged at Avi with his axe. His chase lasted about an hour before Garrus, Avi's dad decided to jump in to save his son.
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  • Garrus's first introduction to Andrei, Jane's first crush can be boiled down to "Hi, I'm her boyfriend and she is pregnant with my baby so back off!"
  • The vision of another future shows a young Gaius, who after hearing the story of Archangel from his friends, runs back home crying and confessing his crimes of taking extra cookies and drawing on the walls with blue marker.
  • Kadian gets hurt after save little Gaius. Everyone comes to visit him, even Javik, who just stands there and stares unnervingly at the guy.
  • Josok, the great Batarian king, turned out to be a fun guy who loved Toilet Humor.
  • Crassus, in a flash-forward vision, turned out to be a Kind Hearted Cat Lover who was very unhappy to part with his kittens. He even let his four kittens slept in his cowl!
  • EDI and Tristan named their adopted son, Jeffrey, after Joker in hope the kid would grow up to be like the guy. Who Jeffrey originally was? THE CATALYST!




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