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Funny / Crossed

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  • Chapter 13 of Volume one of "Wish You Were Here" introduces the Crazy Awesome Jackson, a man who's somehow managed to survive the world on his own. He comes to Cava hoping to trade supplies and info. What does he want in return?
    All I want's a nice wee pairae pink shoes. A sheep tae fuck of a braw night. An' someone tae pull m'finger.
    • He only gets the first two.
  • Harry calling out Father Dennis on his plan to deceive the Crossed by painting Crossed scars on him and the children's faces. While grinning widely.
    I'm going to moderate my tone and continue to smile, because I don't want the children to think I'm going to disembowel their only adult guardian: But what exactly did you think you were doing just now, you stupid, incompetent imbecile?
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  • Volume 4, Chapter 11 of "Wish You Were Here" shows Aoileann running into Jasper in a flashback. Apparently Jasper ran into another group between leaving Shaky's group and finding Cava, and the nun's group of smart Crossed quickly take them out and rape-kill them while Jasper's back is turned. He turns around to see her staring at him in a motorcycle helmet and a hooded robe. The scene is very tense and terrifying, and how does the uncouth and foul-mouthed Jasper ruin it? Well let's just say, it involves brown trousers...
    I. I shit meself. Oh. S-Sorry. Sorry, I. I done a shit.
  • A Crossed throws a knife while yelling 'hadouken'. It's so unexpected, it's hilarious.
  • Five Bloody Fingers has Boss Yamada retrieve Kawamata's flayed skin from Ishiguro's corpse and nonchalantly hand it back to Kawamata, as if he were simply giving him back his shirt.
    Yamada: Here. In the future, take better care of it.
    • Also in Five Bloody Fingers, Taro states that his combat experience is from playing video games....only to get a blank, dumb-founded look from Yamada. Possibly out of pity, Yamada gives him a Rocket Launcher.
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    • Boss Yamada mocking Satoshi when Satoshi declares that he loves (Boss Yamada's daughter).
    • The mere idea that Big Hero 6 Expies (albeit, loose expies, for obvious reasons) are somehow in the Crossed Universe is both heartwarming and hilarious at the same time.
  • Cody contemplating the good parts of waiting out the apocalypse in a luxury underground bunker.
    Cody: <lying in a built-in tub with a beer in his hand> It wasn't all that bad. This place was built to house people in luxury. In a lot of ways, it was just as good as life before.
    Cody: <in the next panel, having sex with a woman in the tub> Some ways, it was better.
  • The Thin Red Line has a moment where a character, while watching the Crossed on a rampage, observes some familiar elements in their actions and M.O., to which the character next to him angrily tells him to not say "zombie." Trying to tell us something, Mr. Ennis?
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  • American Quitters has some rather humorous moments, as befitting an arc featuring an Odd Couple of a hardcore biker and a hippie. Special mention needs to go to the narration, especially in the scene where a priest has been Hoist by His Own Petard by our protagonists.
    Narrator: They totally knew.
  • A bit dark, but the fact that Future in Crossed +100 regards The Road as optimistic (mainly because the scene with a baby roasting on the spit only had one baby.).
  • In Issue 5 of Crossed +100, we are introduced to Beauregard Salt. When he goes to a cafe the Crossed are brutally attacking, he just notes he had to ask people to keep it down and that the day's paper indicates "the business with the banks is getting serious." He also took the time to grab coffee and a danish amidst this carnage. The Scenery Dissonance is rather amusing.

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