Campaign 1 (Vox Machina): 1-23 | 24-38 | 39-83 | 84-99 | 100-115
Campaign 2 (Mighty Nein): 1-25 | 26-47 | 48-69 | 70-91 | 92-112 | 113-141
Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells): 1-22 | 23-38 | 39-51 | 52-64 | 65-80 | 81-
Critical Role One-Shots
As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.
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Episode 84: Loose Ends
- All the subterfuge of late has left Grog somewhat suspicious:
- Sleeping naked in the Raven Queen's temple in Whitestone probably made more sense in Vax's head. Regardless, the mental image of Vex slamming open the doors before covering her eyes in horror is hilarious. Vax points out that they used to take baths together and just has no idea why Vex/Laura starts giggling...
- Poor Grog receives a major Mind Screw when Kima tries to invoke "lying is such an ugly word":Kima: If Mr. Vord starts coming round asking questions? ...Tell him you haven't seen me.
Grog: Lie?
Kima: No, no... Just tell him you haven't seen me.
Grog: (Confused) But I have seen you...
Kima: Tell him you haven't.
Grog: [Turns to Vex and Pike for help, the expression on Travis's face causing the entire table to erupt in a minutes-long peal of laughter.] - Vox Machina has battled and defeated the undead, demons, and ancient dragons. The quest that finally trips them up? A simple request to bury some remains. They stall for over thirty minutes while arguing in circles, convinced that it can't be that easy. At one point, Laura wonders if you can cast Speak With Death on ashes.Taliesin: You can, but they just say [whooshing noises].
Liam: We saved the world, but we are still a bunch of assholes.
Matt: [Barely holding back laughter] The corpse still requires a mouth to speak.
Episode 85: A Bard's Lament
- The epic fight between Grog and Earthbreaker Groon begins! Grog enlarges himself, and Groon... does nothing. The first few rounds involve Grog running around in total confusion over what's happening, and then making an attack that gets blocked by some crazy Monk abilitynote that makes poor Grog look like an amateur.
- After the battle, Laura playing Pike offers to cast Cure Wounds on Grog, who has one hit point remaining but can't remember the name of the spell which is not only the most commonly used spell in the game,
but which she has as Vex. - Grog stoically exits the arena, covered in blood, newly powered-up, to greet his friends after a gruelling one-on-one battle. His knees are shaking, and he whispers as he approaches for them to just keep walking with him and try to look cool. Keyleth calls up some wind to kick up the dust behind them as they march into the sunset.
- Very soon after, several of the party of course point out that this battle, which saw both combatants put on the very edge of death, continues their record of violence against the elderly. Vex then mentions that at his current health level Grog could probably be taken out by an old lady. This then devolves into a conversation about the hp level of kittens and whether they should become the baseline for hit points.
- The merchant from Episode 22 and 43 is encountered once more — laying eyes on Vex and immediately demanding she stay the hell away from him.
- Scanlan's argument and split with Vox Machina is heart-rending... but it occurs while he's still wearing Pike's nightgown, with the room covered in stale pudding.
- As the group tries to cope with Scanlan's departure, they joke that Grog is in a corner sobbing. Travis, however, recalling that Grog was quite interested in finding a brothel in Whitestone, amends it to "crying on bosoms", and proceeds to mime Grog doing just that.Grog: I'll pay for this.Matt: Yes, you will. That's extra.
- The morning after Scanlan's departure, Keyleth staggers out of her room with one of Vex's blue feathers in her hair, wailing about this being the darkest timeline.
- In the middle of a heartfelt conversation between Grog and Vex, Grog mentions that though he trusts everyone in the group, he feels like he has a deeper relationship with Vex. She nods solemnly, saying "Because you've seen my titties." As the conversation wraps up, she offers to show them to him again to cheer him up.
- What really sells it is Liam's absolute inability to keep his composure at this exchange, and by "inability," we mean "howling peals of laughter."
- The episode concludes with the introduction of Sam's new character, Tary Darrington. Everyone instantly hates him. Grog, on the other hand, reacts to the wannabe adventurer's fancy gadgets like a kid at Christmas.
- The looks on everyone's faces as they realize they got played is absolutely priceless, Laura in particular. The moment Sam starts talking as Tary, she stares in surprise with her mouth agape, flickering between shock and happiness, realising that Scanlan's departure was a set-up for Sam to introduce his new character. As soon as Sam finishes his introductory monologue, she scrunches up a tissue and throws it at him.Laura: YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT!
- The tissue, being, well, a flimsy bit of paper, fell harmlessly in front of Liam before it could get anywhere near Sam.
- Liam mimes ripping his heart out and hammering on it.
- Tary asks what Vox Machina's rate is for traveling with them. Vex immediately says fifty-thousand gold. Tary replies that fifty-thousand gold is nothing. Vex's jaw drops, and Grog quickly tacks on "Per hour!"
- Percy's immediate reaction:Percy: [sounding harassed] I'm being narrated. I get nervous when I'm being narrated.
- Grog insight-checks Tary, and rolls high enough for a whisper from Matt. During whisper moments Sam would usually plug the episode's sponsor, but as he's preparing his new character, he's a tad busy:Taliesin: TELL US ABOUT THE LOOTCRATE, SAM! TELL US ABOUT THE LOOTCRATE!
- Liam has this gem:
- Tary cheerfully addresses Vex'ahlia as "little elf girl". Everyone immediately gets an Oh, Crap! face while Laura/Vex glares and takes several deep breaths. Travis backs away from her as far as possible while still sitting in his chair.
- It's even funnier that in-character, the rest of VM try stealthing away from this situation. Vax uses stealth, Keyleth uses a Fog cantrip, Percy uses hex to be concealed in shadow and Grog just backs away.
- Keyleth especially hates him. Adorable as it is that she doesn't want Scanlan to be replaced, she goes about it by saying the most ridiculous things:Keyleth: It's like when your guinea pig dies as a kid, and then you immediately get another guinea pig to replace it! [...] I don't want another guinea pig!Keyleth: [pouting] I don't like new people right now! Not as of yesterday!
- She says that he's like the worst version of Percy and turns to Percy and says "No offense, Percy." What's funnier is that Percy immediately replies "None taken."
- Vax suggests using Tary as bait for Hotis, causing Vex and Keyleth to theorize that Tary is the rakshasa in disguise. Both Vax and Grog disagree with this speculation, and simultaneously say why—with very different but equally hilarious reasons:
- The looks on everyone's faces as they realize they got played is absolutely priceless, Laura in particular. The moment Sam starts talking as Tary, she stares in surprise with her mouth agape, flickering between shock and happiness, realising that Scanlan's departure was a set-up for Sam to introduce his new character. As soon as Sam finishes his introductory monologue, she scrunches up a tissue and throws it at him.
- Vax, possibly in a misguided attempt to cheer Grog up after Scanlan's departure, tells Grog he can "summon a dragon" and forms both his hands into a silly dragon head shape, like a kid's game. Grog reacts by grabbing and crushing Vax's hands, claiming he thought Vax was in danger. Keyleth successfully makes Grog let go by telling him to "drop it" and calling him a "good boy" when he does, like handling an overeager dog.
- When Vex tries to give orders to a construct, Tary points out that it won't obey her... and signs his own death warrant by adding "If you had some sort of a pet, you would understand." Travis audibly gasps.Travis: [Quietly, to self] I'm gonna love Tary so much...
- Grog is very impressed by Tary's magic rod, which can change into any weapon on his command, though everyone else tells him not to be so welcoming.Grog: What? You can kill him and take the weapon later.Vex (in a seething monotone): I will.
- Grudgingly accepted into the group for now, Sam-as-Taryon lays it on thick with his perky obliviousness, to the frustration and amusement of the party.Laura/Vex: [seething] I hate him so much!Marisha/Keyleth: I hate him so much!Travis/Grog: I love him.Liam/Vax: [whining] I miss Scanlan!
- Culminating in this final dialogue exchange.
Sam/Taryon: [dictating] "And with that we embarked on our new adventure! The adventures of..." What was it again?[Percy sighs with exasperation]Liam/Vax: What a dillweed!Sam/Taryon: This is going to be fun, fun, fun! - The episode ends as the cast and crew direct their general outrage at Sam with Nerf darts and collective screaming. Sam's table-mates dodge, with Marisha using her notebook as a shield.Taliesin: I wish that everyone could see that the crew is in utter revolt behind us right now.Marisha: Yes! Get him! Get him!Taliesin:: And they've all got nerf guns!Laura: Get him! Get him! He deserves it!Liam, Taliesin, and Marisha: "You're tearing this family apart!"Sam: No, I'm Tary-ing this- Tarying this-Matt: Tary-ing this family apart, oh my god!
Episode 86: Daring Days
- Lootcrate picks up on Taryon.
- Vax asks Tary where he's from, and Sam immediately turns to ask Matt.Taliesin: "I need an adult!"
- Travis throws Sam a pretzel that Taliesin effortlessly catches out of mid-air. It's even funnier because in the previous episode Tary threw Vex a coin that she deliberately didn't catch, and Percy intercepted with the Gloves of Missile Snaring.Taliesin: Gloves of Missile Snaring are currently equipped, motherfucker!
- When Grog stumbles over Tary's name and Tary corrects him with, "Friends call me Tary, Jumbo," Grog misunderstands and proceeds to refer to Tary as "Tary Jumbo" for the rest of the episode.
- Grog trying to bait Tary—who has noticed that his first day among Vox Machina has consisted only of the low-key conclusions to a few fetch quests—into fighting someone:Grog: See that fruit merchant over there? He's killed many people.
Tary: Oh. Then maybe I can pay him to take me on an adventure. Christ, this is as fucking boring as I could possibly get. - As a preamble to ambushing Tary, Grog invites him to take part in a game of chance:Grog: We form our hands into the shape of a boulder, a piece of paper, or a pair of shears.
Percy: Okay, I don't know what's going on, but I'm staying out of it.
Keyleth: What's the matter, you've never played boulder-paper-shears?
Tary: Of course I've played boulder-paper-shears!- Sam also breaks character to tell Marisha that's the greatest thing she's ever said. They later change the name of the game to "boulder-parchment-shears" for the sake of consistency, and it gets brought up in the next episode.
- Really just Taryon's interactions with Vox Machina after the reveal that he's not as suave and confident as he claims to be, especially considering how convinced he is that they believed he was as suave and confident as he claimed to be.
- The confrontation between Taryon and Vox Machina. He's desperately fighting for his life, while Grog's just playing, Vax keeps walking close and away, and Percy and Keyleth are discussing how to make things "interesting". Despite Taryon pushing all of Vex's buttons the previous episode, they did it all while she wasn't there.
- The sounds Sam makes during Taryon's Inelegant Blubbering really have to be heard to be believed. Grog has a pretty good description:Grog: [to Vex] Did it sound like a llama being mauled by a pack of wolves?
- Tary reveals that his father won't let him inherit anything unless he goes out to prove himself, and the group immediately begins to accept him.Percy: Daddy issues, that's all we needed to hear!Keyleth: Honestly, if you had just led with daddy issues we would have trusted you!Percy: We would have just taken you right on!Vax: Fathers can be assholes.Percy: They're so awful.Taryon: He doesn't like meeeee...and he doesn't like the books I reeeead...and he doesn't like that I read fantasy novels...
- Percy being appalled at the "dark mirror" of himself that he sees in Taryon.
- Grog thinks they're going to finish him off, but the twins and Keyleth stop him.Keyleth: We just learned that Tary is an ugly crier, you can't—!Tary: -mauled llama noises-
- Percy leads Tary away with promises of wine, like a parent consoling a toddler by offering them candy.
- Tary reveals that his father won't let him inherit anything unless he goes out to prove himself, and the group immediately begins to accept him.
- Sam Leaning on the Fourth Wall with Taryon talking about how he "plays his characters" at night.
- Taryon's sister, named Marianne Darrington, is a total jock. Grog instantly asks if she's single and the rest of VM laughs over her name.
- Percy and Vex have sex in the treasury, something that's been constantly joked would happen. It is termed the Scrooge McFuck.
- A gem of a Malaproper from Grog to Keyleth:Grog: Time to go finish your Atari.Percy: With 2600 men at your back.
- Vex tries to give Grog back the Deck of Many Things that she took and replaced with decoy, hoping to teach him a lesson about trust, only for Travis to have Grog completely fail to realize what she's actually done. Eventually Grog becomes so confused he rolls an Insight check on Vex (and gets a six). Then they go to search Scanlan's room for drugs and wind up finding the remnants of his Porn Stash instead.Vex: I'm sorry that I lied to you, even though you didn't notice.
Matt: [ruling for the Insight check] It's a lot of words. It's a lot of words. But you got your deck back! It's really confusing. She's talking at you but nothing changed.- When Vex first pulls out the Deck of Many Things, Grog is so convinced he still has it that his first assumption is that Vex found another one. The reaction is so quick and in-character on Travis's part that Taliesin mutters, "How is he this good?" in the background.
- The following line, for at least three reasons:Tary: [to Percy] I don't normally do this, but what's your name?
- The mere implication that Tary doesn't normally bother to ask for people's names.
- The realization that Tary has been calling everyone by irritating nicknames for the entire episode because he genuinely doesn't know their real ones.
- The fact that, upon Percy predictably responding with his Overly Long Name, Taryon immediately repeats it back perfectly.
- And there's Sam's evil genius at work. After having Scanlan brutally call out Vox Machina for not knowing his backstory, he tailors his new character to provoke their sympathy and deliberately avoid learning anything about them.
- Matt avoids saying "It's high noon" again, and Liam jokes with Laura about it. Matt's attention snaps to Liam and he interrupts his description to mutter, "Don't you even, you motherfucker".Matt: I'm a little sensitive, okay?
- Percy decides to clarify how many members of Vox Machina have actually sailed on a boat before. Tary explains that he had a boat...in one of his "larger baths". Its name was the "SS". (That's it.)
- Tary excitedly tells Doty to write down everything that happens. Vax, naturally, takes advantage.Vax: "Tary, staring off into the distance, shat his pants, crying into his poo—"
Episode 87: Onward to Vesrah
- Vax decides to keep an eye on Grog now that there are no gnomes. Among other things, they play a game of hide-and-seek that Grog gets distracted from (leaving Vax to fall asleep in a barrel), try to locate the ship's figurehead (which, contrary to tradition, turns out to be carved in the shape of a man), and have to rescue Vax after he accidentally falls overboard.
- Keyleth's eagerness throughout much of the episode due to the new experience of being on a sea voyage, even during the mundane parts, and the crew's bafflement in response.
- After Tary helps save Keyleth, she says he can cross 'saving a damsel in distress' off his list now.
- While everyone else is investigating the sinking pirate boat, Taryon is busy on the other ship's deck continuously asking for a towel, afraid that his armor will rust. The crew ignores him, focused completely on watching the pirate boat.
- While Matt is whispering into Liam and Taliesin's ears, Travis goes to Matt's camera and shakes his butt in it.
- Sam suggests one of the old school two cans and a string between it so Matt can whisper without getting up, Matt then kneels at Sam's ear and whispers, "I think it's a good idea."
- One of Captain Adella's crewmen brings biscuits over to the prisoner Vox Machina rescued from the pirate ship, who immediately begins eating them hungrily. Marisha misunderstands what Matt was indicating and thinks the crewman was the one eating, leading the others to suggest that the crewman brought a plate full of biscuits over to the starving prisoner and then started eating them all himself just to be a dick.
- While Taryon and Percy are tinkering on a tactical light of sorts, the subtext is that they are doing something very different.
- When the Science Bros declare they are going to build something, Taliesin asks if they need to tell what they plan on building. Matt replies that he kind of needs it to determine the DC.Matt: To tinker, it's gonna affect your DC, yeah! "We tinkered something really cool, did it work?!" "Sure, it succeeds." "We build Voltron!"
- Marisha says that Keyleth is going to "reconnect" with Vax. The group promptly starts snickering, before Sam outright says it's "the Hallmark card way of saying 'uhh-fuckin'".Taliesin: Well, there goes our sponsor by Hallmark.
- Keyleth is having a melodramatic crying fit in Vax's arms because Percy and Tary have hit it off so well, and since the walls are so thin, they can hear Taryon talking to Percy:
- Also during that conversation, to rub salt in the wound, Sam and Taliesin mime Tary trying to wipe a smudge off Percy's face, which transitions into lovingly brushing his hand down his cheek. Taliesin plays into it, and they look deeply into each other's eyes and start leaning in as if they're going to kiss, before they break down laughing.
- After Percy and Vex has had a heartfelt if sobering conversation about whether he heard her confession to him when he was dead, they end on this note:Vex: You can go and play some more with Tary if you like...
Percy: I'm done with Tary for the evening.
Vex: Great, then you can play with me!- Cue the laughter and Taliesin happily crossing a bottle of whiskey off his inventory.
- When Keyleth assumes a young Ashari is the Headmaster and bows to him repeatedly (while standing knee-deep in water), he makes no attempt to correct her assumption.
Episode 88: Tangled Depths
- During a discussion of using Alter Self so they can breath under water:Matt: You'd get gills and webbed hands so you'd be able to swim at full speed.Laura: Aaaaand...a seashell bra!Matt: Should that be your preference, sure.
- It then devolves into a discussion of Vex's merfolk obssession.
- Keyleth practices beast-shaping underwater and turns into a killer whale, and a startled Grog punches her in the nose:
- The party spends a good, long time discussing making goggles and if there's anything they can construct so they can communicate underwater, only to find out later that the Water Ashari already have both of these things, and are willing to lend them some.
- An exchange between Percy and Tary triggers an Overly Long Gag concerning the tying of knots, along with mass corpsing from the others as it goes on.Sam/Tary: I know every knot in the book.Taliesin/Percy: I knew you would.Sam/Tary: The double-sloop. The reverse-cowgirl. I know 'em all. I've got the itsy-bitsy spider.Taliesin/Percy: Keep going.Sam/Tary: I know the rusty trombone. I've got—Laura: The old Alaskan pipeline.Sam/Tary: Yep. Got the figure eight, the figure four, the hidden figures.Taliesin/Percy: The Dallas two-step.Sam/Tary: I've got a bunch of 'em, yep.Taliesin/Percy: The sweet Caroline?Sam/Tary: Oh, yes. That one. That one's good.Taliesin/Percy: Good for tension.
- Grog notes that fish like shiny, sparkly things, and that Taryon is very shiny and sparkly, which causes Percy to contemplate aloud the idea of a giant sea creature trying to crack open the covering on a human before eating it, and the rest of the party to consider covering him in something non-reflective. Like tar. Or a sack. Or shit. Watch Sam's face grow increasingly unimpressed.Tary: I don't like any of this.
- After a heartwarming conversation, Vax shoots out his wings after mentioning Keyleth's curiosity about his wings, mentioning that they have one hour. Fade to feathers. Laura's reaction and Matt slowly trying to make sense of what happened is priceless.
- Doty is left behind due to fears that he'll rust if taken underwater, and instructed to take "atmospheric notes." Cue the construct beginning to write down every seagull he sees flying by.
- Trinket is let out of the necklace as backup when they enter the Plane of Water. Adorable confusion ensues.Vex: Everything's fine! You're underwater...
Trinket: It's very wet.
[...]
Vex: Just giving you a head's up, you might be turned into a whale later.
Trinket: ...What is a whale? note - Percy gets grappled by the Kraken's tentacles and spends all three of his attacks to break free... only for the Kraken to immediately use a Legendary Action to grapple him again.
- Grog takes out the alchemy jug.Travis: And I get super fuckin' wasted.
- Vex sends her summoned shark to free an ally from the kraken's grasp. Upon realizing said ally is Taryon, she sends it after Percy instead. Tary spends most of the rest of the episode calling out to the shark for help.Tary: Wait! Friendly shark, come back!
- Taryon's reaction after Keyleth gets swallowed:Taryon: That's part of the plan, right? You're seasoned veterans! It's all part of the plan!Vox Machina: (mass hysterical screaming)
- Taryon then asks Percy to write down his will. Percy just stares at him as his head wound bleeds out.
- Matt's reaction when he realizes he had the Kraken cast Lightning Storm on the group while they were electric eels.
- About midway through the battle, the players joke that Scanlan is sitting at a restaurant eating calamari at the same time the rest of Vox Machina is getting killed. He gets a random nosebleed, but he doesn't know why.
- Being the last to escape, Grog decides to take the bag of holding from an unconscious Taryon and leave him behind. Percy sees this and casts Friends on Grog to get him to do the right thing. We get this exchange:Percy: Toss the nitwit through the door.
Travis: Who do I think the nitwit is?- Right before, we get this exchange:Percy: Just toss the nitwit through the door!Matt: Wait, are you trying to intimidate him?Taliesin: No, I'm begging!
- Right before, we get this exchange:
Episode 89: Curious Tides
- Before the session even starts, Laura smacks Travis's hand away from a plate of donuts midsentence.
- Taryon's family apparently had a run-in with a certain gnomish Bard before the present day, as Tary recounts his father having to burn his bedsheets for some reason...
- Crossing over with Heartwarming and Tear Jerker, Grog's contribution to the resurrection ritual: with a 60+ episode Call-Back, he slaps the shit out of Vax. That is to say, his corpse. Vax is missing a tooth later.
- After the resurrection ritual, which was the most dramatic ritual in the campaign up to that point including the literal manifestation of The Raven Queen, Taryon discovers that Doty was looking away from the ritual as it happened and had missed the ritual in it's entirety.
- Keyleth hands out gifts she commissioned from Gilmore to the rest of Vox Machina as thanks for helping her complete her Aramente. She passes one out to everyone...and then, when getting to Tary, realizes the last one was meant for Scanlan. She druidcrafts him a flower as consolation. Percy, who has been tinkering with seashells, walks behind Tary and places a seashell crown on his head. "Long may you reign."
- Upon gaining the ability to Shapechange, the first thing Keyleth does is transform into a goristro. She has her eyes closed when she does it, so when she open her eyes, she promptly freaks out.
- She then transforms into a beholder, and then into an adult bronze dragon; she spends the rest of the hour giving joyrides to Vox Machina and the people of Vesrah. Grog shoves a small child out of the way so he can be first in line, and takes about eight joyrides before the evening is over.
- After Keyleth turns into the bronze dragon, Vax mutters "That is really hot," under his breath.
- Much like Vex in Episode 86, Percy tries to apologize to Grog for casting Friends on him to convince him to retrieve Tary... and Grog has no clue what he's talking about.Grog: [baffled] You look so, like, constipated right now.
Percy: I think you're going to punch me. [...] I just... [Giving up] Have some seashells. And a skipping rock.
Grog: Ooh!
Percy: I feel better.- Later on, Percy realizes he forgot to ask for his glasses back after giving them to Grog so he could be punched without them breaking.
- Tary reflects on the previous battle:Tary: I have not been, ah, that close to death ever before, but I feel like I've learned something from the experience.
Grog: What?
* Beat*
Tary: ...That's fair. - The evening before everyone leaves Vesrah, Pike asks Doty to draw some portraits of the members of Vox Machina. It...doesn't go as planned.
- Due to Pike's Exact Words, the members of Vox Machina all awaken at various stages in the middle of the night, aware of a sound at their windows, only to see Doty sitting there, staring and sketching.
- There are six members of Vox Machina that are sketched. There are four portraits, revealed only as Pike shows them to Tary:
- The first: Vax and Keyleth, trying to hide under their sheets with fear in their eyes.
- The second: Vex atop Percy, Percy with a look of concern and Vex with a look of "Don't you fucking dare."note
- The third: Pike, her face mid-realization of her mistake.
- The fourth: Grog, posing for his portrait with his beard fluffed and his legs open. Tary notes that his nicknames of "Jumbo" and "The Big Guy" were quite accurate.Tary: Doty! She said realism! [Doty nods] Really?! How does he walk?
Percy/Taliesin: With confidence and pride.
- The purpose of the portraits? Pike has Tary write their names next to their faces so he can use the portraits as flashcards to learn everyone's names. He has Percy's memorized already. She tells him to look at them every night before bed.
Tary: ...Can you see me all the time?
Pike: ...Yes.- In studying the portraits, Tary notices the recurring trend, and wonders if this is a regular Vox Machina activity in which he would take part and asks Pike if he gets to join in. She tells him to try and explore it.
- In the process of this, Pike utters the phrase "I would never tell you no" (as in, she would never tell Tary not to explore that dynamic) and immediately reconsiders her wording.
- Vax and Vex reading the notes in Abyssal that Percy can't read. Vax enjoys having the gift of smugness with great detail.
Episode 90: Voice of the Tempest
- Before the episode, Sam participates in the Loot Crate sponsorship by holding his own contest to win fan art of Vox Machina that he drew personally (with entrants posting pictures on Twitter posing with Loot Crate-related stuff with the hashtag #brianfostersmellslikecabbage). Grog actually came out decent, but unfortunately Sam was drinking very heavily that night and began to run out of supplies with every new picture.
- Keyleth's head is triangular and Sam can't draw bodies, so her neck terminates in a forest.
- Because Percy is a white guy with white hair, Sam only drew and colored in the outlines of his face, glasses, and mouth on a piece of white paper.
- Taryon is drawn in blue pencil on blue construction paper, rendering the image virtually invisible.
- Scanlan is a crude drawing featuring him holding a flute and a pile of poop. Sam says it took about an hour, 55 minutes of which was driving to CVS to get more markers.
- Vax and Vex are only differentiated by their props crudely drawn next to their heads, and Vex is actually a photocopied Vax image with pink ribbons in her hair. He also ran out of markers even after buying more, rendering the arrows green.
- Pike is just a black and white print-out of Ashley Johnson's IMDB picture with drawings of incredibly muscular arms.
- To top it all off, Sam's T-shirt is a screenshot of Ashley's Blindspot character captioned "Y'all motherfuckers need Sarenrae".
- In a moment of Black Comedy, Vox Machina realizes that they sent one of their guards to Wildemount to investigate the Briarwoods before the stream started and completely forgot about him. Keyleth tries scrying and discovers he's almost definitely been dead for quite some time.
- All the while, the group has a bizarre discussion equating Scrying with social media.
Taliesin: This is our version of looking at our phones.
Laura: [sarcastically] Has he posted anything on Facebook yet?
Travis: Have you figured out how to project [scrying] on a 55 inch, like, flat wall...
Marisha: Actually, that's a good question.
Taliesin: Yes, but the framerate is only like 120...
Marisha: Yeah, it's only in black and white.
Liam: He posted on Instagram 6 years ago and that was it.- Travis breaks Taliesin with this line:Travis: He's a Jolly Rancher in the belly of Craven Edge!
- And further breaks the group by suggesting that the guard is now running around on a farm. Taliesin suggests that the Exandrian version is that the person got sent to the Feywild.
- And then Sam finishes it off with even more spectacular Black Comedy.
Taryon: Did he have a family? What was his mother's name? - Keyleth discusses the technicalities of her Unlimited Wild Shape, arguing that maybe she could turn into an inanimate object (specifically a door) if there was a Mimic for it. Matt replies that the group hasn't seen a door Mimic "because I don't hate you that much yet".
- As Doty was created with arcane magic, the party decides to disguise him before heading to Vasselheim. What follows is the creation of a grotesque monstrosity that almost definitely draws more attention than Doty would have. It takes just about the entire first hour of the stream.
- Taryon decides to make a wig out of their guard Shayne's hair...which he does by purchasing the hair from Shayne for 500 gold and then gluing it to Doty's head. He also adds a goatee.
- Percy constructs hands and a mask to disguise the metal of Doty's body. He adds them after Taryon's contribution, meaning that the mask is placed over the goatee.
Matt: [corpsing] At any given moment...Doty now has a secret goatee that only you know about.- Vex contributes a cloak...the extremely valuable and powerful Cloak of Elvenkind, which promptly gets covered in glue.
- Vax tries to make a face for Doty with his disguise kit...and rolls a natural 20. He decides to make Doty resemble their old foe General Krieg. It apparently works too well, as Grog, who has been upstairs for the rest of the disguise process, immediately screams and tries to attack upon seeing him.
- Tary suggests Grog come with him to buy potions so he won't get bored with all the books and research; as Vex pulls him aside to tell him that Grog is legendarily bad with monetary transactions, Travis can be seen making ridiculous faces and gestures behind Laura and then switching to something innocent when she turns around.
- Tary then reassures Vex that he can manage his money; he has six trust funds, and he trusts that they're all managed quite well.
- Despite Vex and Vax deciding to bring the dangerous tome of necromancy to the Platinum Sanctuary, Keyleth and Percy end up carrying it with them on their research mission. After a long out-of-character discussion over exactly who has the book, Laura and Liam decide to do a Cutaway Gag from Keyleth and Percy's scene to Vex and Vax realizing they both thought the other one had it.
- Made a Brick Joke after both Vax and Vex's and Percy and Keyleth's scenes, where Tary and Grog go potion shopping and Tary asks Grog if he has the book. Grog asks "Which book?".
- Tary and Grog go to purchase potions. This goes more poorly than anyone could have possibly imagined. Now in animated form, courtesy of Puffin Forest.
- First, they attract the attention of a pair of Bastions. Tary attempts to divert them with a hilariously implausible story about Doty and Grog being so big because they're his bodyguards...but the guards can't get too close because they're also from a leper colony. The Bastions do not buy this for one moment.Bastion: That's gotta be unfortunate...being so buff...and so full of leprosy.
- Grog asks Tary how he thought it went, on a scale from 1 to 2.
- The guards end up following them to the potion shop. Noticing that they're being followed, Taryon asks Grog for a suggestion to deal with them. Trying to conceal it, however, he switches the first letter to the last place, obtaining something that comes out as "hard gay" (Guard > Ardgay). Everyone loses it, with Sam admitting he should have chosen better words.
- The shop is run by the same merchant from episodes 22, 43, and 85. He only agrees to deal with them at all because Grog rolls a natural 20 Persuasion check.
- Doty is told to wait outside to watch for the guards. The potions merchant, disturbed upon glancing him through the window, asks who he is.Tary: He's...a man.
- Doty interprets the order to watch for the guards to mean he should knock them unconscious. He then drags their bodies into the shop while the potions merchant is preparing their purchase in back, leading to utter chaos.
- Grog at first tells Tary they'll have to kill everyone who sees them—which Tary agrees to—but ultimately decides to make it look as though the guards got drunk and passed out. After pouring his cask of ale all over them, he successfully intimidates Tary into attempting to vomit on them...but Tary fails to do so due to a natural 20 Constitution check. The merchant returns with their gift-wrapped potions to find the Doty-monstrosity in the shop, two unconscious, ale-covered Bastions, and Tary still trying to throw up on them. They are permanently banned from the store.
- To top it all off, Tary manages to haggle down the price of the potions, using a Basilisk egg that Grog gave him as a prank (Grog had convinced him that the egg had life-saving magical properties). Attentive viewers will note that Grog actually attempted to get the very same merchant to buy that very same basilisk egg, all the way back when he first met him in Episode 22!
- First, they attract the attention of a pair of Bastions. Tary attempts to divert them with a hilariously implausible story about Doty and Grog being so big because they're his bodyguards...but the guards can't get too close because they're also from a leper colony. The Bastions do not buy this for one moment.
- Vax, Vex, Percy, and Keyleth all meet up at a tavern; they use the earrings to try to reach Grog, and Tary and Percy start talking over each other in Grog's ear, which means the whole table promptly begins yammering nonsense all at once while Matt just lets it unfold and Travis becomes increasingly overwhelmed.Travis: My real-world ADD is fully maxed out. I just heard a bunch of sea lions barking.
- Grog asks where the tavern is, and Percy immediately snarks that he'll send him the psychic information. Grog is astounded that he can do that, and Percy just rolls with it:Vex (in a deep, mystical voice): Meet us soon. Did you buy potions?
Grog: Are you asking me to buy potions, Percy?
Percy: No, I want you to come straight to the bar. Straight to the bar.
Grog: But I thought you just send me a request for—
Percy: I was thinking about something else. No, you just heard me thinking about something else.
Grog: All right, we'll have to fine-tune my abilities.
Percy: You'll get there.
Grog: All right.
Percy: I have every faith.
- Grog asks where the tavern is, and Percy immediately snarks that he'll send him the psychic information. Grog is astounded that he can do that, and Percy just rolls with it:
- Percy pulls out some fine whiskey for Vax, and Keyleth asks where he keeps it. Percy shows her that one of his belts, which is mostly used to store spare gunpowder, is also where he stores spare liquor.Matt: You have to take the pre-gaming feat to actually use that ability.
- What's funnier is that Taliesin doesn't appear to be improvising at all. He had that explanation prepared.
- Right after Grog and Taryon show up at the bar, Travis snatches a fly one-handed out of thin air; apparently it was bothering the cast all night. He promptly eats it.
- Grog and Taryon explain what happened between Doty and the Bastions, and Grog suggests removing Doty's disguise since that's what anyone who investigates will be looking for. Taryon suggests putting a new disguise on top of the old one.
- Grog also claims that he actually killed the guards, with a successful deception check. The matter-of-fact way he says it and Travis's understated glee at screwing around with everyone are delightful.
- Matt allows the group several insight checks on Grog, and eventually they catch on that he's lying.Vex: You fucking dick!Grog: Yup.
- Percy is deeply concerned about the source of vomit that he just discovered and begins wiping it off the table.Keyleth: That looks like Tary's vomit.
Percy: How can you tell?
Keyleth: Because I saw him puke under the water and it floated right past me. I got a great view of it.
- When they arrive at Zephrah, they're greeted by a crowd of small children, who then go to get Korrin. A three-year-old boy stops and stares at Grog, who tells him to eat his vegetables.Percy: So I believe you just set up a lifetime of unreasonable expectations.
Grog: He'll be healthy, though.
Vex: I've never seen Grog eat a single vegetable.
Grog: No, fuck those things.
Episode 91: Vox Machina Go to Hell
- Sam is absent, so Taliesin has to read the Marvel Puzzle Quest ad in his place. He's as surprised as the rest of the cast.Taliesin: I'm doing my best! I was just given this! I thought he was going to be here! We brought his things out. I thought he was going to be here! And now I have this, and I have to somehow—
Travis: Can you just play on his harmonica or something?
Taliesin: I'm not touching that; I know where it's been.- Matt asks if Puzzle Quest has Slapstick.Taliesin: I'm even more embarrassed that I know you now. It was already bad. This is why you're never going to be on my show, Matt.
Matt (crying): I know.
- Matt asks if Puzzle Quest has Slapstick.
- Keyleth and Korrin have a heartfelt, emotional conversation about the nature of the Aramente and the relationship between the Ashari and the rest of the world, and Vax off in the distance asks Vex if she can read their lips. She immediately tells him they were talking about him and that Korrin dislikes him, and that they think Vex is amazing.
- Vax calls Percy "Freddie" due to his middle name, Frederickstein, leading to a discussion of what other nicknames they could give him. Grog proposes "D-Roll" and the rest of the cast are immediately jealous of Travis for coming up with a name that good.
- The party tries desperately to find someone who speaks Infernal. Taliesin says he speaks Disco, not Inferno. The puns continue throughout the session — which Taliesin says makes sense, because it's Hell.
- The group discusses what the future may hold.Keyleth: What about you, Vex? What are you doing after we take our retirement pay?
Grog: [false cough] Percy. - Grog asks if there's still any water around on the ground outside, and everyone points out that Zephrah is on a cliff. Matt says it's because Grog is at this point very drunk, and Travis confirms that he's drunk...on mayonnaise.
- Liam asks for Travis's mug and discovers that it's full of mayonnaise. Watch the look of confusion he develops turn to disgust.
Liam: Why does this smell like mayo...? It is mayo! That is vile! - The party forces Matt to make up various phrases in Infernal on the spot. When he gets stuck on the word "no" they all chime in with suggestions, Liam's being "ermahgerd". Guess what Matt decides to go with.
- Laura and Marisha start singing about "Going to Dis City (On Rock and Roll!)". Travis threatens to shave both their heads.
- Vax at one point snarkily describes his wardrobe as "dressing like the Raven Queen's butler".
- As disturbing as the context is, Keyleth getting buzzed from consuming a soul was pretty funny.Taliesin: That had a name! That had a life! That had a mortgage!
- Seeing the buzz she gets, Taryon consumes one intentionally. Still having no idea what they are, he orders 20 of them. Then the others have him cast Identify on the stones once they get to their room, upon which he discovers what they really are, and promptly throws up.
- Taliesin and Travis manage to make Matt break character by giving their names as "Freddie" and "Greg". Taliesin in particular seems to take pride in it.Taliesin: Fuck souls; that's a rush.
- The group try to figure out if all of them saw the Raven Queen back when Vax was being resurrected. When asked, Grog claims he did not.Vex: I've been feeling like you like... lying... more than you used to.
Grog: That is not true. - Keyleth's first attempt at using her new Inspiring Leader feat. Let's just say she's still getting the hang of it. She spends 10 minutes praising all of Taryon's qualities and basically just stoking his ego. Vex/Laura is bored and questions why they'd get inspired by that. Thinking on it for a moment, Matt rules that only Taryon got temporary hit points.
- Right after this:
Liam: All this time Vax has been staring at Taryon, imagining him with exactly half a beard.- This also prompts Matt to have Taryon lean over to Vax and whisper that Keyleth is "totally hitting on [him]!". Vax responds with an "okay" symbol and a tongue click.
- As Percy and Grog leave to talk to "their friend downstairs" Vex slaps them both on the ass, prompting a confused look from Travis.
- After their conversation with Ipkesh, Percy and Grog explain to the rest of the group that they shouldn't use the true name of anything, as such things hold power in the Nine Hells. Keyleth accidentally refers to Taryon as "Tary", and immediately corrects herself to call him "Barry". Barry Barrington.Taryon: I don't like this at all.Percy: Chin up, Barry.
Episode 92: Deals in the Dark
- Doty and Trinket arm-wrestle. Despite Trinket not having the arm joints, he wins. When Tary complains, Vex has Trinket pee on him on cue.
- The lead-up results in this line.
- The reason she has Trinket pee on him? Tary still doesn't believe he's a real bear. Presumably, the issue has been settled.
Tary: You should've put arm joints on your robot bear.
Vex: He's a REAL bear!
Tary: I've yet to see any evidence of that. - When trying to come up with a code name for Taryon (the group agree using their real names in the Hells is a really bad idea), Travis suggest Noyrat, his name backwards. Laura questions how Grog was able to come up with that, so Matt jokingly rolls a dice and rules that Grog took 3 point of Psychic damage from thinking too hard. Travis decides to write this down, making it canon.
- Before heading out to complete their contracted assassination, Vex pulls out some food rations to share with the group—half of a boar. Since the meat is raw, she just slaps it down on the hot metal floor to cook. It works. Percy uses the barrel of his gun to sear it, even.
- When Grog asks why Tova's face is so messed up, she says it's been that way for a long time, ever since an unfortunate accident with a home chemistry kit. Travis was in the middle of drinking something at this point, and visibly struggles not to Spit Take from the unexpected answer.
- Laura's wide-eyed, open-mouthed glee when guest star Tova transforms into a bear.
- Grog, Tova and Trinket have a lone female devil cornered and very heavily injured. It's now Taryon's turn. He runs in, terrified, and uses his Rod of Mercurial Form, in spear mode, to gently poke her. With fire damage for good measure. His two attacks manage to finish her off, causing Matt to break down. Then he throws up.
- Inside the manor, Keyleth's Locate Creature shows that Utugash is in the next room. Since they're still trying to be stealthy (despite the fact they just very noisily pursued and killed a witness and everyone in the room she ran to), she tries to convey the message via Miming the Cues. Unfortunately, her recipient is Grog. Nonverbal Miscommunication ensues.Keyleth: [Mimes horns and wings]
Grog: Run in like a bull and fart on the wind?
Keyleth: [Mimes "no", then does the horns and wings again]
Grog: Cut the throat? ...Bull! ...Flapping wings!
Keyleth: [Gets fed up and uses the earrings] Utugash!
Grog: [Mistakes her clutching the earring for more miming] Earache!- Afterwards, when the group questions what the point of all that was, Keyleth sobs and says she was just trying to be stealthy.
- The party gets distracted by shopping before they go to fight Utugash, taking most of the episode before they get to their guest party member played by Nate Stevenson. The fact that they (accidentally) left her chained to a table in a dungeon while they shopped becomes a joke for the rest of the episode and the next.
Episode 93: Bats out of Hell
- When fighting the Pit Fiend, Taliesin mixes up the names of his target and the demon that possessed him. Cue everyone laughing about him "using the wrong name in bed."
- He also jokingly rifles through the Pit Fiend's files in the middle of the battle.
"We've got him on tax evasion!" - Taryon dodges one of the Pit Fiend's attacks due to Haste, only for its following axe attack to strike him.Taryon: Aha! I have - [gets clocked in the face]
- Sam remembers afterwards that he had Sanctuary up, so Matt should have rolled a Wisdom Saving Throw for a Pit Fiend's first attack.
Matt: Natural 20, plus 10, so 30.
Sam: So he would have still... I think it's safe to say, even in retrospect. - Tary can't catch a break. When trying to use his Ring of the Ram...Sam: That's a 1. But I'm feeling Lucky. [rolls again] ...That's a 3.
- After the battle is over, Keyleth, still in Fire Giant form, turns to Grog and says "Sup!" in Giant. Grog is in absolute awe of this.
- Two Imps try to turn invisible and flee after Utugash falls. Matt tells Keyleth that she technically gets an Attack of Opportunity with disadvantage as they run, and she hits one. Just as she's about to roll damage, Matt stops her, as he realizes even if she rolled all 1s, her Fire Giant form would still do exactly enough damage to kill it.
- Keyleth speaks in Fire Giant form and is instantly freaked out by how deep her voice is. Taryon, just coming to consciousness, sees Fire Giant Keyleth, panics, and throws his lance at her. It harmlessly pings off her chest.Keyleth: [Deep voice] Hi Tary. I'm Antlers.
Taryon: ...Good day to you miss. I have misjudged you again. - The dramatic tension of the party being imprisoned and strung-up in the hellish prison is brought to a halt by Sam killing a mosquito with a rolled-up paper, to the rejoicing of the entire table.Liam: Dead for a ducat, dead!
Laura: How do you want to do this, you piece of shit!
Matt: That's 5 experience to Sam Riegel. - The group is trying to work out how to break out of their chains and manacles.Vax: Keyleth, could you give me a thorn or something?
Vex: Oh yeah, Keyleth! What can you do?
Keyleth: Well, I could probably just Beast Shape out of this if I really wanted to.
Vex: What the fuck, Keyleth!
Keyleth: Well, I was kinda just waiting to see if...
Grog and Percy: Less talking, more doing.
Episode 94: Jugs and Rods
- As the planeshift succeeds, Vox Machina finds themselves near a lonely Whitestone homestead, where a young boy witnesses their sudden appearance with awe and fear. Vex asks if he wants to pet Trinket, which the boy immediately tries to refuse, but then she sends Trinket over to lick and shoulder-check the boy anyway, to his silent horror. Marisha lampshades how once back in the material realm, the very first thing Vox Machina does is terrorize innocent townspeople.
- The Rogue/Ranger hotdog/taco nomenclature gets a callback.
- When Shauna the barmaid (who earlier mentioned being a single mother) points out to Taryon that he was so busy quoting poetry at her that he never even asked for her name, Liam (out of character) does a Callback to Scanlan's departure:Liam: [mimicking Scanlan's outrage] What's that mother's name!?
- Tary somehow manages to turn a Coming-Out Story into something so funny the entire table is too consumed by laughter to properly respond for nearly a minute.
- Just before that, when Tary confided that he'd only had one romance before and it ended poorly, Percy jumps immediately to the only conclusion.
Percy: Oh my God. No... Wait. No! Did your father find out?
Tary: ...My father did find out.
Percy: Oh my god. MORE LIQUOR! - When Pike encourages the suggestion that Tary go to a brothel to go get laid, saying it's like a rite of passage for an adventurer, Vex looks at her in shock.Vex: Do you go to brothels, Pike?
Pike: Well, where do you think I go when you guys leave all the time? - At Shauna's suggestion, Trish (a member of the Paleguard) decides to shack up with Tary for the night, leading to all sorts of moments:
- First: Only moments earlier, Tary had confided in Vox Machina his interest in men.
- Second: Trish pulls Tary out of his seat so they can leave together. He isn't seen again for the rest of the night.
- Third: Percy suggests to Keyleth that they scry on Tary. She's having none of it, at first, but then finally she hands him the Scrying Eye and dares him to try and make it work. He rolls a 7 and ends up getting a whole lot of nothing. Then he tries one more time, gets a success... and decides to scry on Scanlan instead!
- Fourth: It isn't until the next morning that Tary staggers back into the tavern to meet a hungover Pike and Grog, where, at their insistence, he goes into the details of the night, in his usual Purple Prose way...ending his recollection with expressing how he never wants to do that again, now very assured of how he isn't attracted to women at all.
- The group manages to start a Running Gag of the rest of Vox Machina gushing over how cool Vex is. Happened first in a sidetracked conversation between a drunk Vax and a very drunk Keyleth, who cry as they talk about how great she is, then when the scene cuts back to the pub with Pike and Grog, they're found in the middle of a similar drunk and weepy conversation. Then, a couple of days later, Tary is in the middle of talking to Percy over breakfast about how much he admires Vex when she walks in with her trophy from her successful first Grey Hunt.
- The entire drunk conversation between Pike and Grog at the tavern had everyone cracking up, especially Ashley Johnson's impeccable impression of being drunk:Pike: I'm... tired now. [everyone starts cackling] I said earlier I wasn't tired but... I do get tired...
Pike: Night, Shauna. It was so nice to meet you, thank you so much for everything.
Episode 95: One Year Later...
- Over the year between episodes, Grog decided to test out the Deck of Many things by offering it to a drunk man on the streets of Vasselheim and telling him to pull a card. What card does this complete stranger pull on a random chance? The Wish card, possibly the best and most powerful card in a deck that could have easily killed him. Grog gave a totally random drunkard an unimaginably powerful gift on a whim. He in fact ends up with two wishes, so he walks away a member of the nobility of the Quad Roads, complete with clothes and a servant, with one wish still to go.Grog: Grog, Grog Strongjaw, Maker of Kings.
- The rest of the party all just sits there, mouths open in horror as they realize what Grog is doing.
Travis: It was a fucking year, did you not think this was gonna happen? It probably happened in the first week.- And upon being informed by Matt of the card's draw:
Travis: [nods, before a look of horror and realization dawns as the newly minted nobleman runs off with a second wish without a pat on the back or even getting Grog's name right, calling him "Grog Strongthings"] OH YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY — [switches back to Grog] WAIT! WHAT WAS YOUR NAME?! [as Travis] Did I get his name?
Matt: [giggling] You didn't get his name.- Funnier still, Matt decides to have a player be the one to draw a random card, and the one who gleefully volunteers is Laura, Vex's player.
- The fact that Grog's growing literacy is so strictly defined by D&D rules. He can read one sentence over a short rest.
- Pike opens a bakery in Whitestone with Vex, Keyleth, and Tary during the timeskip. Its name? The Slayer's Cake. They sell bear claws, blondies, Sun Treats, angel food cake, and tree bark.Marisha: Plus small business tax breaks, it was good all the way around.Taliesin: You are not getting a tax break.
- Tary apparently makes great profiteroles. They're called Profiterolos.
- Vex rebuilt the house she was given and wanted Tary to move in, since he didn't have a place to stay.Tary: I can sleep on a couch...Vex: Oh, no, no, no! You'll have your own room.Tary: Excellent, because I don't think I could sleep on a couch.
- Vax refers to his time spent during the year off as "Zephrah and Chill".
- Percy wanted to name the new gun-toting guards of Whitestone the Musketeers, but Cassandra overruled him on grounds of silliness and named them the Riflemen. (But Percy still thinks of them as the Musketeers.)
- A meta-example. Sam had Scanlan's giant mug out, making viewers think they'd get to see Scanlan finally come back (or at least, see what he'd been up to over the time skip)...and then he opens the giant mug, pulls out Tary's smaller one, and goes from there.
- Over the Time Skip, Tary built a new Doty. This one can speak, but only one word. Tary, naturally enough, selected his own name.
- Initially, Tary chooses to interpret Doty's utterances as a variety of words that rhyme with Tary. But the things he attributes to Doty apparently evolve as time goes on, as when he asks Doty for a suggestion during the prank war:
Doty: Tary.
Tary: Good idea, but a little bit too cruel.- There's also his reaction when his armor goes missing and he demands that Doty find it:
Doty: [searching fruitlessly] Tary.
Tary: [outraged] What do you mean, "Tary?" - Tary and Grog team up to try and make sandcastles. Matt asks them to roll for it, with both attempts resulting in Tary making an excellent sandcastle and Grog accidentally knocking it over.
- Tary is so furious after the second incident even Grog is intimidated.
- Taryon entering Percy and Vex's room with a Chime of Opening, and then Sam proudly declaring now he can open any door.
- The insane fallout from Vax's minor prank of stealing Tary's armor while staying at a resort.
- After stealing the armor, Vax hides it in Percy's room (which he shares with Vex) to throw off suspicion. Tary, on finding the armor and assuming Percy took it, uses a "Patch of Two Mastiffs" to summon two giant dogs and leave them in the room for hours. When Percy and Vex at last return to their room, it has been torn apart and covered in excrement, and the dogs are mating on the bed. Vex initially assumes that Grog is responsible and storms into his room, dragging him out by the beard to show him the destruction. In the face of his bewilderment at the sight, she decides that Vax must be responsible, dashes over to his and Keyleth's room (interrupting their shower) and unleashes Trinket to chase him through the hallways. Ultimately Trinket pins Vax down on the beach, where Vex gives him permission to relieve himself upon her twin. It takes a very long time before Vex has any inkling Tary was even involved. Once she realizes, she enters his room (where Doty is applying a Cucumber Facial to Tary and "singing" to him), emanating Tranquil Fury, and calmly asks about his involvement. He readily confesses, not realizing that Vax tricked him, or that Vex would be caught in the crossfire. There's a moment following his realization where Vex just glowers before breaking and saying that she can't stay mad at him.
- Blink and you'll miss it amid the other chaos, but while Vex is occupied with Vax, Percy very calmly leads Keyleth over to the room with the dogs and locks her inside. She gushes over the dogs and pulls some jerky from Hammerspace ("As Liam O'Brien said, it’s improv, so that makes it true!") to give them so she can pet them. She rolls a 1 on animal handling, so the dogs take the jerky and bolt from the room. She instantly flips to a pouty "Fuck these dogs!" Also, when Laura questions where was she keeping the jerky, Liam reminds her she improvised hiding in a bath.
- Percy manages to convince the resort owner that they really have no idea where the dogs came from and aren't responsible for the mess. (Matt initially asks Taliesin to roll a deception check, but Taliesin points out that even assuming that they're the result of a prank, Percy genuinely doesn't know where the dogs came from. Right after convincing Matt that it's a persuasion roll, he remembers he's actually better at deception.) The owner, while extremely apologetic, is also utterly bewildered because that breed of dog doesn't even exist in Marquet.
- Crosses over with Heartwarming: in the aftermath of his massive prank, there's a brief but noticeable moment where Trinket is on top of Vax and the rogue is just so cheerful despite the predicament he had found himself in. For a large part of the campaign, Vax had been tormented and gloomy, but it's such a relief to see the old Vax that fans had warmed up to back in the Kraghammer arc again.
Vax: (to Trinket) I'm back, Trinket. I'm fucking back. - After only a few minutes of Pike's conversation with the Trickfoots, Liam declares that "the Sackville-Bagginses just rolled up".
- Johann asks how large the baths are. Vax replies "Not big enough".
- When preparing the dinner for the Trickfoots, Vex orders them (as a lady) not to use the best food, since she fears the Trickfoots are taking advantage of Pike. Then Tary comes in and orders to use the best they have, overriding Vex's orders using Luck, so the thoroughly-annoyed cooks throw away what they were making and start working again. After a discussion between Tary and Vex about the Trickfoots, Grog goes in the kitchen, giving them his menu. The staff sigh, then obey the Grand Poobah's orders, throwing away their half-made food and start working on yet another dinner.
- Percy offers JB a proper tour of Whitestone, but the way he asks it makes her think he's flirting with her, and she firmly turns him down.Travis: You want a proper tour'a deez nuts?
- Making it more awkward is that Percy genuinely doesn't know that that's what he sounded like, and responds in bewilderment that she doesn't want to see the city. He promptly stammers his way through an attempted recovery.
Liam: Smooth as butter.
Episode 96: Family Matters
- At the top of the show, during announcements, Marisha pressures Travis to come on another show Signal Boost and do an episode on "sports ball", to which he refuses. Sam suggests the rest of them do it, and get it so wrong that Travis would take over to get it all right. Travis's reaction sells it:Travis: I would watch every episode of that. I would correct nothing.
- Grog's tour guide hat.
- Vox Machina's tendency to assault old people returns... but this time the old person in question deserves it.
- When asking Wilhand about the person who retrieved Fassbender, Wilhand tries to describe him, and Vex asks, "Was he kind of a dick?" Wilhand doesn't quite seem to catch her meaning, so Keyleth happily clarifies, "A penis!"
- Matt asks every player what languages they know:Sam: I know Sylvan, Common, Gnome, Draconic, Undercommon.
Taliesin: Common, Celestial, Elven.
Marisha: Common, Elven, Celestial–sorry, Sylvan, Druidic, Primordial.
Liam: Common, Elven, and Abyssal.
Laura: Elvish, Common, Undercommon, Abyssal, and Draconic.
Ashley: Gnomish, Common, Undercommon, Dwarvish.
Travis: Come on. - Ashley ends the episode on the most clutch Brick Joke to ever grace the series:Vex: Oh, and Johann?
Johann: Uh, yes?
Vex: Stay away from those sweets.
Johann: ...Alright...
Pike: There actually is a curse on our family. It's called diabetes. - At the very end:Matt: My little hope was that Taryon was going to investigate, I tell him, and then keep it to himself until everything happened and they went off on their own. And then as they were walking away be like, “By the way, that wasn’t fucking real.” I could totally see you doing that.
Taliesin: Wow! That—I could totally see that playing out. I completely believe that you would do that, you sonuvabitch.
Sam: I—How am I getting a “sonuvabitch”? He’s the sonuvabitch!
Episode 97: Taryon, My Wayward Son
- Sam does his weekly shout-out to the sponsor In the Style of an infomercial. Taliesin and Marisha turn out to unexpectedly be in on the bit, Taliesin whipping out a bundle of cords and being uncharacteristically hammy in the role of the Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket guy, while Marisha is The Vamp. It ends with them asking Sam to repeat the URL over and over again until he admits that, in true Monty Python style, he didn't write an ending.
- Within the first twenty minutes of the episode, Keyleth jumps off a cliff and into the water to help Vex retrieve the diamond Ogden dropped. In a combination of Poor Communication Kills and Didn't Think This Through, the Surprisingly Realistic Outcome ensues: Keyleth misses the water and dies on impact with the rocks. This also ends up being her first death in the campaign; and by extension, this means that every Vox Machina member has suffered at least one death, mostly in battle or from some danger.
- This is made even funnier because, in an attempt to mitigate the damage, she tries to use Beast Shape. You'd expect that she turns into something that could slow the fall, like a bird. Instead, she decides to transform into a goldfish in a last-minute panic.
- After Marisha attempts to explain that she thought she would land in the water:Sam: Goldfish are not...magnetically attracted to water.
Taliesin: Those are ironfish.
- After Marisha attempts to explain that she thought she would land in the water:
- Making this even better is that Marisha tries to justify it by saying the group are like Gods, which causes Travis to completely break character and begin questioning just what the hell that meant and how that would somehow work out okay. Considering how Travis is dedicated to staying in character as much as possible, it makes it even funnier, as a Everyone Has Standards kind of thing.
- The sheer tonal contrast between this and the rest of Vox Machina's deaths makes it even better. No one can keep from laughing, least of all Marisha, who admits that this was pretty hilarious ("This is the best thing that's ever happened…!"). That, or they're also reeling in the absurdity of what just happened.
- Matt, who usually tries to make all character deaths special and cool, is in such sheer disbelief at this turn of events that all he can do is say variations on "Keyleth died" over and over again, culminating in "it's just a scatter of red mess", which sends Travis into peels of laughter, Taliesin headdesking in laughter, and Ashley exclaiming "It's only seven fifteen!"
- Made even funnier if you remember back in Episode 80, about her nearly dying from another impulsive move.Taliesin: You died as you lived...
Marisha: A fucking dumbass? - Matt is usually a master of maintaining a poker face, maintaining his composure all the way until he declares the amount of damage Keyleth suffers, only losing it when Marisha accuses him of lying, and again when Ashley informs him that they're only 15 minutes into the session because no, he absolutely did not plan for this.Marisha: Aren't I supposed to like, turn into a flying creature?
Matt: THAT'S UP TO YOU! That is literally your choice!- Despite his poker face, an observant viewer can see the exact moment Matt realizes that he might have to describe Keyleth's impending doom when Marisha says she turns into a goldfish.
- While Matt describes Keyleth's resurrection, Laura gags, and Liam writhes in horror.Liam: What the shit is this show?!
Matt: I don't know! This was not in my—! - Sam manages to make a Crosses the Line Twice comment while Vex and Keyleth are still at the bottom of the cliff:Sam: I'd better go check on them. I'll dive off the cliff!
[Everybody laughs, including Marisha] - Deciding to just roll with her mistake, Marisha has Keyleth's first words be a freaked-out "That was a lot higher than I thought!" Then, as Vex decides to leave the diamond behind, Keyleth, frazzled from being dead and feeling awful for making Vex go through that, volunteers to go and try again (presumably without a repeated cliff-dive). Vex immediately shuts that idea down, mainly because Keyleth is at very low HP and could still die again.
- The other players realize that Matt's description of the cliff and the water below, as detailed as it was, failed to communicate the cliff's height of 1000 feet above sea level.Travis: [to Matt] "A thousand feet" was all you needed.
Laura: A thousand feet! - When Vex and the still-bloodied Keyleth return to the others, Percy asks, "Were you able to find that diamond—oh sweet Pelor!"Vex: She's fine! She's fine!
Keyleth: I'm great…
Tary: She's more blood than person…
Travis: [hearing that and laughing quietly] "More blood than person"… - Which all leads to a subtle funny moment with Tary. Tary had given Vex a Revivify coin before the battle in case she needed to revive anyone, and when Keyleth died by falling, she used it on her. When they get to the top of the cliff, again, everyone's making a fuss over Keyleth being in such bad shape, and Vex turns to whisper at Tary.Vex: [whispering] Tary!
Tary: What?
Vex: [whispering] I used your coin!
Tary: [appreciatively] Oh! [realizes what that means] Oh…
Vex: [whispering] I know!
[Matt and Taliesin both crack up despite themselves]
Tary: Well, I'm glad I gave it to you, then. Ooh… - Now in animated form and even funnier.
- In the wake of the confusion, Vox Machina forgets about JB, whom they were speaking with earlier. Matt describes how JB looks utterly bewildered by the sight of Pike's Ashari friend coming back half-dead and covered in her own blood.Vax: [to JB] Welcome to the family!
[The players all look at Matt.]
JB: Right…
[Laura, looking horrified, gives JB a thumbs-up.]
- This is made even funnier because, in an attempt to mitigate the damage, she tries to use Beast Shape. You'd expect that she turns into something that could slow the fall, like a bird. Instead, she decides to transform into a goldfish in a last-minute panic.
- Vex realizing that Allura and Kima got married over the timeskip, and the entire party's in- and out-of-character delighted reaction, is extraordinarily soft and tender. However, as Allura points out, that conversation is couched within the context of informing Allura that Vecna is trying to take over reality.Vax: [softly] Congratulations.
Allura: Thank you...Sorry, this is—conflicting emotions in this moment right now—thank you. - Keyleth, who's supposed to be resting, shows up halfway through Vex and Allura's briefing and is completely out of it, culminating in absently shoving Allura through the Sun Tree portal midsentence without noticing that one of her closest friends is trying to talk to her.
- While Keyleth is having a Freak Out about a seemingly-nice baker who turned out to be a drow kidnapper/assassin in disguise, Vex'ahlia slaps her to get her to come her senses. Keyleth doesn't stop freaking out, but she turns her screaming towards Vex.
- When they eventually catch up to Tary's kidnapper, she surrenders the moment she sees herself outnumbered and bears them no ill will outside vague annoyance at losing her reputation as a bounty hunter. Vox Machina immediately concocts a plan to walk into the Darrington estate anyway, just to rub in that kidnapping Tary was ridiculous and unnecessary but his father will still have to pay the bounty hunter anyway. Tary is, understandably, less than thrilled with this plan.Taryon: She kidnapped me! I don't want to give her money!
- Upon learning the details of the Darrington debt, Pike gently but firmly emphasizes that this is not Taryon's problem to fix, and that if his father is serious about being a better parent, he will value Tary's happiness above his own status. The others back her up, with Keyleth emphasizing that Tary is thrifty and brilliant and capable, and that poverty will not destroy him or his family. Vex...helps.Pike: Yeah, it's...money just gets you everything you want, that's all.Vex: It's the BEST thing! Ugh, now I'm really wishing we'd taken a lot more money from Thordak. If we had taken more money, everything would be fine right now.Keyleth: No! That's not the moral of the story, guys!Tary: ...No, money would have solved this.Keyleth: That's not the lesson we take away from this!Keyleth: PERCY!Percy: —but Keyleth is right.
- Just before wrapping up the episode, Marisha clears the air about what happened at the start:Marisha: And, for anyone who is asking: I am okay.
Matt and Taliesen: [realize what she's talking about and start laughing]
Marisha: I'm okay. I did not leap off the cliff out of some…weird parallel allegory. This was not a cry for help. Not a cry for help. I thought it was going to be dope. That's it. I thought it was going to be cool as shit…and then it wasn't.
Episode 98: The Mines of the Many
- "Life needs aloe to live", followed by poor Taliesin doubled over the table.
- Grog's attempts at flirting with a female goliath musician.
- Keyleth gives an "inspiring" speech to Vox Machina to bolster their resolve before the boss fight... and it involves bacon.
- Liam's Rogue abilities turn a poor Stealth check into a good one, and his glee is something to behold.Liam: (practically cackling) I rolled a 2, but it's a 37!
Episode 99: Masquerade
- Jon Heder guests as a Half-Orc Bard/Barbarian (a Bardbarian, if you will), Lionel "Chod" Gayheart, and every moment of his is pure gold.
- Even Sam, who is one of the best at keeping his composure during comedic moments, is doubled over in laughter for most of his backstory.
- Lionel's chosen path as a Barbarian is Totem of the Duck. He helpfully explains that he was born in a desert, was sent downriver in a basket as a baby, somehow ending up in a creek, where his earliest memories are of ducks. Desert ducks. (Vox Machina are pretty sure they were vultures.)
- Even better, he uses his "Commune With Ducks" ability near the end of the episode, which leads to Matt Mercer doing an impressive duck imitation.
- Grog picks a fistfight with Lionel. Lionel responds by grinding on Grog, who is so nonplussed that he immediately walks away from the fight.
- After the fistfight (brought on suddenly by Grog punching Lionel in the face), Lionel goes to drink his chocolate milk...only to have it knocked from his hand by Pike leaping up and punching him in the face. Later, Keyleth decides to teach him to play boulder-parchment-shears; they both count to three...and Lionel punches Keyleth in the face.
- Keyleth uses rock fists (boulders) and heats Lionel's armour (shears), and then Percy unleashes his lightning attack on him. None of that causes more than mild discomfort and perplexity for Lionel, who doesn't realize any of them actually attacked him. After Lionel brushes the lightning off as "tickling", Percy remarks that it never seems to work properly.
- When Lionel mentions that he had a crush on Kaylie before he found out that she was Scanlan's daughter, Percy dryly comments "You're not the first."
- The first thing that gave away Scanlan's cover? As Keyleth points out, "No one talks about Scanlan being as handsome as much as Scanlan does."
- When Scanlan is found out by Vex, he tries to cast a spell on her, which she attempts to interrupt. Both parties roll a natural one on their contested check, and Matt rules that they flail clumsily at each other before unceremoniously getting tangled up and falling over.
- Amidst the whirlwind of emotions brought on by Scanlan's return, Matt gleefully notes that since Taryon hasn't left yet, Sam will have to play two characters at once. Very abruptly, Tary "has to go check on Doty" and leaves the scene.
- When they go to a tavern together, Lionel ends up fighting with Grog, and exchanges a few punches with Pike and Keyleth. During the first fight, Percy stacks some gold coins on the bar to pay for it. As the scene continues and more and more property gets destroyed, he keeps adding more and more coins to the pile.
- The button Jon Heder puts on the final scene in the episode. Pike gives Scanlan a bag of "Shorties" (cookies from the Slayer's Cake named after him) as part of a guilt trip. After just a second of awkward silence, Lionel exclaims "Cookies!", grabs a handful, and stuffs his face.
