Campaign 1 (Vox Machina): 1-16 | 17-23 | 24-38 | 39-83 | 84-99 | 100-115
Campaign 2 (Mighty Nein): 1-12 | 13-25 | 26-35 | 36-47 | 48-57 | 58-69 | 70-87 | 88-Current
Critical Role One-Shots
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Episode 70: Causatum
- Sam's D&D Beyond ad is a radio play, starring Travis as the "Private Dick", Laura and Sam himself doing sound effects. The slide-whistle in particular gets a lot of further mileage over the course of the episode.
- Sam's complete disregard for the copy D&D Beyond sent him.
- After this promo, Matt and Marisha promote the new Rook and the Raven notebook. Marisha reveals her last note from the previous session is simply "Fuckin Yasha".
- During the party's otherwise-tense discussion of what to do next, Nott points out the possibility of simply ignoring The Laughing Hand because the Roc they passed in the Barbed Fields will probably eat it. Bonus points for immediately following with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson puns.
- Said discussion also causes Caduceus to finally lose his cool.Caduceus: (With the barest hint of frustration in his tone) I think if we run, that's how you end up in prison. I, I don't... I don't mean to raise my voice, but...(The rest of the group cracks up)Fjord: What did I walk into?
- Jester reminding Matt that she had earlier changed the Ready Room's sign to read "Ruddy Poon". He points out that not only is it still there, no-one has noticed yet.
- Jester disguising as "Nancy McFancypants" to get some information out of a few Drow soldiers? Funny. Her rolling high enough on Deception for them to actually believe her? (they simply feel bad for her for having a name like that) Hilarious. Her confiding in Beau later that the first name that came to mind was "Drowy McFancypants"? Even funnier. Her thinking Nancy was the bad part of the name, not "McFancypants", and that she never realized "McFancypants" was an Atrocious Alias until Beau told her? Hysterical.
- Caleb decides to take some brandy with his tea before their journey the next day. Nott misinterprets this as him trying to get drunk, leading to a somewhat heated discussion.Caleb: I just want a little nip to calm my nerves!
Caduceus: How's that working out for you?
Episode 71: Family Gathering
- The D&D Beyond promo is the promised "master debate" between Sam and Liam, with questions 'asked' by Ronin Willingham. Dani claims to be a fair timekeeper, cutting Liam off precisely at 20 seconds and letting Sam talk on and on while reducing his time remaining by one second every time he asked. Liam was trying to be professional, Sam was going off half-cocked and utterly failing at convincingly incorporating slang into his pitch, and when asked to say something nice about their opponent, Liam said a heartfelt wish to be true friends while Sam took the chance to lob another juvenile insult.
- Beau and Jester can't think of the best place within the Xhorhaus to have a private and clandestine meeting with Dairon, completely forgetting that it has a War Room.Jester: Hey! You could go to the hot tub!Beau: (serious, to Dairon) ...Is this conversation appropriate to have in a hot tub?
- Luc acting like the kid he is when Nott gave him anything - crossbow, Nugget, etc.
- He becomes especially enamoured with the crossbow, and the attempts to trade him Nugget for it results in Taliesin describing the situation as the "ultimate divorce simulator".
- Beau goes through Jester's wardrobe, and groans over a yellow dress; as she hates yellow. Laura, wearing a yellow cardigan, looks momentarily offended.
- Beau tries to prank Essek with scattered ball bearings, but he just glides through them, scattering them. She then pins the prank on Dairon.
- Caleb casts Teleportation Circle back to Yussah's tower... and they forgot to Send a message to him in advance. They also make an effort to avoid mentioning that they've been to Xhorhas in front of him... and as they exit, Matt reminds them they're all still wearing their Xhorhasian clothes.
- The party ordered a cart with two horses for a trip via Essek's Teleport spell, and couldn't even bring them along.
- Calianna's gifts are finally picked up, and Taliesin/Caduceus deliberately tangles as much of Marisha/Beau's hair in her new blue bow as possible, then they engage in an extended pun session with tying the new bow on Beau's bo in a bow.
Episode 72: Clay and Dust
- This week's D&D Beyond skit sees the polls finally open for the Sam vs Liam elections. Sam opts for a speech reflecting on the campaign so far, filled with a few jokes about not being able to remember how many children he has. Liam responds by going on a rant lifted straight out of Network about how ridiculous the sponsor skits have become. He goes as far as getting out of his seat and walking off set, still ranting at the camera, before he's cut off by a "Technical Difficulties" card showing Trinket pulling a power cable out of an outlet.
- Taliesin and Marisha realise that somewhere, parents are having to explain Network to their kids as a result of this.Liam: Kids in 2019 love homages to movie from the 70s!
- Taliesin and Marisha realise that somewhere, parents are having to explain Network to their kids as a result of this.
- Taliesin Jaffe, Eldritch Being From Time Immemorial... fears mimes.
- The party is tailed by curious ghosts as they make their way to the Kiln. Naturally, Jester keeps them entertained by loudly reading from one of her porn books. A few of the ghosts actually seem into it.Jester (reading): As he ripped open her bodice..Caduceus: That's like five gold to fix!
- Beau notices dwarvish runes carved around the forge and Marisha asks if anyone can read dwarvish to interpret them. She then, moments later, triumphantly realizes that Beau speaks dwarvish. Which is the first time one of the languages she studied with the Cobalt Soul has been useful. (She laments that they've never needed Deep Speech)
- Liam's declaration that "this campaign is so grimdark!" ... as Jester reveals she wrote a "wonderful story" in the margins of Tusk Love about "Petunia" and Captain Tusktooth's adventures on the high seas.
- Caleb's time studying during the night gives him the power to roll history checks "with enthusiasm".
- During Fjord and Jester's conversation Sam and Marisha quietly echo Uk'otoa's name every time Fjord and Jester mention him.
- In a very sweet moment, each member of the party gives Fjord an item to help him defend himself - everyone, that is, except for Beau.
- Beau: I don't have anything to give you other than drugs.
- Nott then adds "drugs can sometimes make you feel magical."
- Cadeuceus also chimes in that drugs are the greatest gift of all.
- Fjord comes clean to the party about his permanent power loss. Nott tries hard to not call him weak, to no success. Fjord gets fed up, leading to this exchange:Fjord: If you make a comment about my strength, I might just throw you into the lava.
Nott: Well, you couldn't, but...
- Afterwards, Nott reacts in horror at Fjord saying "Eldritch Blast" in his real accent, and demands he go back to saying it in his Texan one.
- Nott: Well, hell.
- Episode 73 will be a live show airing from GenCon on a Friday instead of the normal Thursday. When Matt gave his signoff, he said Thursday instead of Friday before correcting himself. This wouldn't have been funny... if he hadn't just reminded the viewers about the schedule change in the sentence immediately preceding the sign-off.
Episode 73: Uthodurn
- As is traditional for live shows, the cast have gone all-out with their costumes:
- Brian Foster is wheeled on stage inside a bodybag by two crewmembers and emerges wearing a black wig and a bodysuit covered in tattoos as a tribute to his favourite, soon-to-end television show.
- The rest of the cast (save Sam) are all in Goth outfits, complete with copious amounts of eyeliner. Laura goes full Goth Lolita in a cute dress, purple wig and cat ears.
- Sam's outfit almost defies description, but a close enough attempt is to call him a Rio de Janeiro Carnival dancer. A silver bodysuit with a deep v-neck and shorts, golden wings that light up, a feathered headdress, gold glittery go-go boots and and a glowing orb over this crotch. Oh and he's also carrying bubble-blowing guns. It really needs to be seen to be believed.
- Beau and Nott race each other up a tree to be the one to do a perception check at the top. Serial Escalation follows:
- First, they roll acrobatics with Nott rolling 1 point higher. As she slowly gets ahead, Beau responds by hitting Nott with her staff to make her stop.
- Nott retaliates by casting Mage Hand to grab Beau's hair and try to yank her back, but Beau succeeds the contested check.
- Beau then decides to throw an unlit firecracker at Nott's face and succeeds with a Natural 20.
- Nott responds to this by whipping out her gun and shooting Beau in the ass with her single shot, dealing 14 points of damage. Liam yells out that this is what Percy has wrought.
- Despite this, Beau makes it to the top first via Step of the Wind. When Nott reaches the top, her and Beau shake hands, before Beau proceeds to let go and let Nott fall to the bottom.
- And then, after all of this, Beau proceeds to roll a 9 on her perception check and only sees a couple of shapes in the distance.
- As if that wasn't enough, they party had been trying to get through the mountains as stealthily as possible after the previous day's battle, and the gunshot alerted the wolves in the wilderness to their presence.
- Fjord succeeding on numerous strength checks, after repeated jabs from Nott about how weak he is after forsaking Ukotoa - culminating in Nott failing a strength check of her own & Fjord firing back with a jab of his own.
Fjord: It's just like being back with Avantika!
- Fjord's attempt to pull an unconscious Beau out of the Remorhaz's mouth results in him taking three points of "stretching damage".
- Fjord rolled a Natural 20 to intimidate a giant goat, which caused it to run off, break the fence keeping it penned in, and caused several other goats to follow it.
- He then blamed Nott for the incident.
Episode 74: Manifold Morals
- We see the aftermath of last week's D&D Beyond election. Namely, Liam and Sam throw a giant party with a lot of alcohol. The morning after, we discover that the Presidency was really for D&D Beyond's Party Planning committee... and their party just blew the year's whole party budget, so they are fired.
- Mica Burton joins the table. The first thing she does? Take out an enormous bag of dice and pour them onto the table. Laura looks like she's found her soulmate. Travis' expression exclaims "Oh God, there's two of them."
Sam: Do you need me to recap you on the D&D campaign?Mica: Uh, no. I-I saw your codpiece and that's all I needed, so I-I'm all cod up.
- A moment prior to that which is easily missed is Micas' Stealth Pun:
- Caleb discovers some hidden magic in a book in the Uthodurn Library, and he wants to study it, so he slips a secret note to Nott to cause a distraction. She does this by going back to one of their old cons (Sam has to flip very far in his binder to find it)—she screams at him for cheating on her, his wife, and draws her crossbow and shoots at the book he keeps under his coat. Then Caleb fails his dexterity roll to make sure the bolt hits the book, so Nott winds up straight-up shooting him. Needless to say, the two of them get banned from the library indefinitely.
- Reani's angelic advisor is named Samliel. Nott (played by Sam Riegel) has a habit of mispronouncing in-game names that sound like the names of real people. You see where this is going.Nott: This Samriegel (or however you say it) is very smart and wise, and I know that you can trust him, so put your faith in Samriegel and he'll guide you.Liam: The election is over, Sam.Sam: This is just for me.
- There is a group associated with the Library called the Woodside Auditors. Matt accidentally pronounces "Auditors" in a way that sounds like "Otters." The players immediately start a running joke about the Woodside Otters.Matt: Every DM out there, you understand me. You know this pain.
- Liam graced us with this gem, in response to Beau purchasing use of the teleportation circle.Liam: I hear you have a yeet circle.
- The Mighty Nein and Reani talk Essek into teleporting them to their target's lair, which is a snowy hell as their target is a white dragon. The first words out of the normally unflappable Essek's mouth?Essek: You're crazy, but good luck.
Episode 75: Rime and Reason
- Sam pitches merch themed around his characters. A bag of buttons for Nott (buttons sold separately; choking hazard), a Taryon Darrington themed chia pet (contains choking hazard), Scanlan's doll house (complete with vegan kitchen, training pit, sex room and invisible servants) and a cube cock ring, that he also describes as a wanger hanger.Sam: Warning; is a choking hazard.
- Liam is away from the table & due to technical issues, unable to skype in. We instead get Marisha playing Caleb in his place, complete with an atrociously inconsistent Zemnian accent which draws comparisons to Arnold Schwarzenegger & the Swedish Chef at different points of the episode, as well as Keyleth's attempt to do a dwarven accent in Campaign 1.
- After killing several yetis who were worshiping the White Dragon, Nott and Jester come up with a plan to hollow out one of the corpses and wear it to pretend to be a yeti... before realizing they have Polymorph. (Though it turns out Polymorph can't turn them into yetis.)
- Fjords absolute refusal to go along with the plan, and bafflement that Caduceus basically decides to along with it if most of the group agrees to the plan. Especially after he admits that he has no faith in the plan, and just wants to see how spectacular the failure ends up.
- The initial plan to get the iceflex goes sideways, and Nott tries to look on the bright side, saying that things couldn't have gone any better. Caduceus immediately disagrees.
- Travis freaks out when the map of the dragon's lair is revealed.Travis: WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?! LEVEL NINE!Taliesin: Because someone had a bad breakup!
- Hilarious in Hindsight when the episode's Talks Machina went up, as it turns out "bad breakup" wasn't far off the mark for Gelidon's backstory.
- As the dragon makes a loud racket attempting to kill Reani and Beau, the remaining Yeti come in...and immediately leave, as described by Matt to throw their hands up and peace out. Smarter than the Nein these Yeti!
- As the party is about to flee Gelidon's lair via Teleportation Circle, Caduceus tosses 7 Platinum pieces at her as an apology.
- Even better, white dragons generally interpret gifts as insults, as they believe you're suggesting they aren't strong enough to just take the gift from you. Caduceus was unknowingly rubbing the dragon's failure to catch them in its face.
Episode 76: Refjorged
- Sam promotes D&D Beyond while dressed as Britney Spears in the "Baby One More Time" video, and uses the opening chords to that song to preface a number of jokes, threatening to do the same during the rest of the game. Matt can only pinch the bridge of his nose in pain.Matt: Every time you do that, you will take 2D10 damage.Sam: Worth It.
- Later in the episode he reveals that he wore the full costume, including a cropped top and miniskirt even though the game table hides everything from the waist down. Never doubt Sam's commitment to a bit.
- The Mighty Nein invent beer pong.
- 76 episodes in; Caleb still doesn't make eye contact with anyone when he's speaking to them.Nott: You did last week! You were very handsome.Matt: I agree!
- Jester, Caleb and Reani turn into bats to scope out the manor, and Reani tries asking the local bats for help, with Matt ruling that bats could probably understand simple commands. Reani promises them bread if they help her, and the bats break out into a chorus of "I like bread". Matt even notes that most are just saying it because the others are, and aren't giving any consideration to whether they actually do like bread. Afterwards, since Caleb is Polymorphed into a bat while Reani is Wild-Shaped, he has a bat's Intelligence stat, so he flies to the roof looking for bread.
- The furious wrist-flailing that Mica, Laura and Liam all do during this segment to simulate flapping their bat-wings. Liam finally reverses Marisha's accidental violence on him by flailing at her.
- Meanwhile, Beau teaches Nott how to kickflip.
- Caleb's response to sensing necromantic magic coming from a trap in the wardrobe.Caleb: That's...a bad armoire.
- Beau offers to help Fjord with strength-training, he says he tried it once before and "[his] everything hurt", to which Beau reveals she feels like that all the time. When Fjord says she sure doesn't show it, Beau answers with something that we really should have seen coming.Beau: Honestly, the pain kind of turns me on.
- And again, when the party plans for the heist and Jester brings up the time Beau nearly died from a rug:Reani: Okay, no carpets for Beau.Beau: Well...(everyone cracks up upon realization)
- And again, when the party plans for the heist and Jester brings up the time Beau nearly died from a rug:
- Before the heist, Caduceus "casts" Motivational Speech on the party. Matt is confused for a minute, before he realizes this is a real spell: it's from the official Acquisitions Incorporated sourcebook! Doubles as a moment of awesome as well.
- The infiltration goes south when Nott ends up killing a guard, and Crosses the Line Twice humour ensues, especially when Nott suggests making it look like a suicide.
- Nott Messages Caleb to explain what happened, leading to Caleb casting Invisibility on him and Fjord as they try to enter... only, they can't see each other and have to awkwardly fumble to avoid walking into each other. Matt calls it peak D&D.
- While everyone else is off involved in the heist, Fjord ends up hanging around awkwardly outside.
- While Reani and Beau's kiss is heartwarming, on a meta level it means Beau has romanced two guest characters right before their exits. She's quickly becoming The Casanova when it comes to guests. Additionally, considering how Keyleth was kissed by Kashaw in Campaign 1, this places Marisha on the opposite side of the scenario.
- While Nott jokingly suggests they take Fjord's clothes off while pulling him out of the seaweed, Travis runs with it and demands to know where his shirt went.
- To see if his powers have returned, Fjord jokingly tries to use Mask of Many Faces to turn into Nott. When he does in fact turn into a huge, muscley goblin woman, Nott, Jester, Beau, and Fjord himself all scream in a panic for a few seconds. Then he drops the spell, takes a breath, and does it again, to the exact same reaction.
- Fridge Humor or Fridge Horror, depending on how you look at it, but, as mentioned above, the M9 had taken of Fjord's shirt, he even asks for it later. He just flashed Nott's boobs for the entire party. Though as pointed out later, Disguise Self usually copies clothing as well, so Fjord could have appeared as a clothed Nott.
- Watch it in all its animated(-ish) glory here!
Episode 77: A Tangled Web
- Sam's ridiculous hacker persona to shill Nord VPN, email@example.com. The best part comes when he starts reading the copy and is actively shocked at seeing that Critters can get a 75% discount, proving once and for all that no, he does not read these before coming up with the bits.
- Nott attempts to convince Fjord that, as a "holy man", he must take vows of silence and chastity.
- Which might be because she saw him flash her tatas in the last episode.
- Caleb learns two new Dunamancy spells from Essik. Jester sweettalks her way into being present when he learns them. One of them involves magically binding an object into a fixed point of space, making it immovable so long as the spell is active. Jester is VERY interested in it, and later buys Caleb enough gold dust for a few extra castings... because she has some prank ideas. Matt immediately facepalms.Matt: Oh no! I didn't think about that.Liam (with a shit-eating grin): We did. We definitely did.
- Matt decides to text Liam the spells during the break, as the two wizards convene for a lesson.Caleb, reading his phone: "Yo Widogast, u up?"
- Matt decides to text Liam the spells during the break, as the two wizards convene for a lesson.
- Beau's "Fuck the Cobalt Soul!" speech was awesome, and Dairon promoting her to Expositor afterwards is both awesome and heartwarming. Beau sheepishly asking "Please don't tell anyone I said 'Fuck the Cobalt Soul' " afterwards wraps around to being funny.
- While Jester being denied by the Gentleman again is very sad, Fjord trying to figure out if she's bullshitting by counting the words the Gentleman used in his alleged reply is absolutely hysterical.
- Also from that same exchange. After receiving one of Jester's customary rambling Messages, the Gentleman doesnt bother with any sort of greeting and gets straight to the point. You can almost hear his exasperation.The Gentleman: I assume this is Jester.
- Also from that same exchange. After receiving one of Jester's customary rambling Messages, the Gentleman doesnt bother with any sort of greeting and gets straight to the point. You can almost hear his exasperation.
- The party can't agree on which city they should teleport to in order to travel to Rexxentrum. Most of them think that Nicodranas is the best option, but Sam is convinced that the journey would be shorter if they started from Rosohna or Uthodurn. Travis begrudgingly pulls out their collection of maps and the group spends a couple of minutes carefully arranging them on the table, only to discover that Rexxentrum is almost perfectly equidistant from all three cities.Sam: Matt, can you make the world smaller next time?Matt: No.
Episode 78: Between the Lines
- Sam's "goth" persona. Taliesin is absolutely horrified.Matt: Before we begin tonight's episode... we have to figure out why Sam is the way he is.
- Even Sam himself cannot stop corpsing through his own promo, starting from when he talks before his music cue, and later when he needs three attempts to say the phrase "Infernal God Ba'al".
- Later, Sam attempts to apologize:Sam: I've never met or talked to a goth person. I don't know how they act!
*Laura gestures at Taliesin, who is sitting right there stunned speechless*
Sam: But he's normal! I don't know how a real goth person—
Taliesin: Wow... I mean, after this I feel normal. Let me tell you, this was a dark mirror to stare into. I've gotta re-evaluate things now.
Sam: I mean, I've never seen you in your goth persona.
Taliesin: That's true, I've definitely seen whoever this (pointing at Sam) is at a couple of clubs that I immediately left.
- What makes it even funnier is that Sam's costume includes jewelry that he borrowed from Taliesin. Which he then loses during the show... inside Nott's giant flask.Taliesin: Don't worry, he'll find it again... when he chips a tooth.
- What makes it even funnier is that Sam's costume includes jewelry that he borrowed from Taliesin. Which he then loses during the show... inside Nott's giant flask.
- The Running Gag of someone interrupting awkward moments with a cry of "To Zadash!" CritRoleStats counted 12 instances in total.
- During their stopover in Trostenwald, Beau orders some of the Baumbauchs' wine for old times sake, and finds out the price has been jacked-up due to the Baumbauchs ceasing production for a while. Marisha realizes this must be because of the letter Beau stole early in the campaign implicating them in illicit activities, which they then ratted-out to The Gentleman, and she gleefully yells "Cause and effect!"
- While the thought of Obann and the Laughing Hand being close to Kamordah is terrifying, Jester's messages to Beau's father wrap-around to being funny when Beau explains that he's a very superstitious person and his business was built on the advice of a fortune-teller, so hearing voices in his head from an unknown source probably spooked him. Jester and Beau agree that he kind of deserved it.
- In a Funny Background Event, as Matt describes Baphomet as the Demon Prince of beasts, like Minotaurs, Nott fans herself.
- Beauregard is pleasantly surprised to find out that she's actually well known in the Cobalt Soul since she had left, but is disappointed to hear that her name is used as an example of how not to be.
- Caleb's favourite hobbies: time manipulation, and "Master Debating".Matt: You have two favourite hobbies (asking which one Caleb is trying to look up information about).Liam: You know which one I mean.
- What should have been a fairly straightforward return trip to Xhorhas for the Mighty Nein, becomes a series of hilariously poor decisions, all because they wanted to bypass the Empire's increased border security by exploiting Caleb's Keen Mind feat to memorize more Teleportation circles.
- Due to having recently acquired their horses, they really didn't want to part with another set of steeds, so they insisted on riding their horses through the Teleportation circle from Zadash to Rexxentrum, the horses pooping all the way through.
- Upon arriving at Rexxentrum, rather than wait and announce themselves to the headquarters of a recently attacked organisation, in the capital of an Empire at war, they immediately try to get through the door to Port Damali. Nott tries to pick the lock but Sam rolls a Nat 1 so her thieves tools break as an archivist comes rushing in with several soldiers, the soldiers fire their crossbows at Jester, with one hitting, before everything settles down and the Nein explain themselves.
- When Beau tries to use her new clout as an Expositor to explain away their actions and try to talk their way out of the situation, she immediately regrets this because she's not actually lying about anything, which would have actually worked out better for them as Beau's Deception modifier is higher than her Persuasion.
- After verifying their information the archivist says the Nein may leave to Port Damali, but they are banished from the Rexxentrum archive until further notice.
- One would think that they had learned their lesson, but when they arrive at the Port Damali Archive the Nein promptly repeat the process with the way back to Zadash, banishment and all! The ONLY difference being the location, and Fjord trying to get his horse to kick the door open due to Nott's broken tools.
- Jester would not have been shot in the first place if she hadn't been trying to cast spells in a heightened security situation. The spells in question? Enhanced Ability so they could try talk their way out of the mess they had just put themselves in!
- Arriving back at Zadash, an emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted Archivist Zeenoth tells them to just leave (though does not expressly ban them).
- In conclusion the Mighty Nein's current record for shortest time spent in a place before being kicked out/banished is around half an hour, with special mention for 3 in 1 day.Beau: Well, I consider that a huge success.
- Just as a reminder they rode their horses through this whole affair.
Episode 79: Through the Trees
- After having to teleport the Mighty Nein twice in quick succession due to a misunderstanding Essek finally has enough and just flies away.
- Caduceus asks for directions and a fly lands on his face, taking that as a sign he says to follow that fly only for it to be eaten by a nearby toad.
- Sam's attempt to promote Dwarven Forge as Matt pulls out a second map gets... dark.Sam: If you don't go to that fucking website, I'll kill you.
Episode 80: The Folding Halls
- When Fjord twice notices that the Nein are being scryed on, he is extremely obvious about "Oh, we're going to Rexxentrum", probably fooling nobody.
- Laura's pop and lock while trying to fool whoever is scrying on them into believing they're having a party. Taliesin begs her to stop.
- Jester singing that Essek "floats really good" at the end of her Sending. Matt reminds Laura that no, she does not have to use all 25 words.
- Nott's shopping list of components.
- When Allura teleports into Yussa's tower, the Nein hear the magic and realize that they really didn't need to jump all at once to fake announcing their presence after once again forgetting to cast Sending in advance.
- The collective freakout as everyone starts realising the arcanist in the tower is Allura. Liam seems to transform into Kermit the Frog.Matt: She seems to be in her mid-fifties...Marisha: IT CHECKS OUT!
- Caduceus makes an Insight check on Allura, and Caduceus being who he is, he earns himself a whisper. On the following episode of Talks Machina, Taliesin reveals that he decided to make faces while getting the whisper specifically to mess with Travis and Marisha, which makes rewatching that scene incredibly amusing.
- When the "heart" clue is stressed to Beau, Marisha is still for a moment while Travis shakes her in glee and Laura crows triumphantly that she knew it and had so told Travis that it was in the Happy Fun Ball.
- Sam is so focused on writing down the description of Yussa's ally that he is the last one to realize it's Allura.
- Allura's sass is still on-point after 20 years.Allura: It's also known as the Archmage Bane. It's in the damn name, Yussa, you fool.
- As Nott walks across the surface of the pond towards the waterfall, Travis jokes that a monster appears from underneath and swallows her whole. Sure enough, a froghemoth does exactly that.
- The cast making a running gag of their characters being unable to remember the name of... Alissa? Amira? Aloha? Well, it's not like she's important.
Episode 81: From Door to Door
- Sam dressed as a member of the Blue Man Group. He uses spirit gum, and then tries to remove it with acid. Shockingly, this is a mistake.Matt: Thank you, D&D Beyond for... encouraging him.
- After the show the Blue Man Group retweeted a picture of Sam in costume to jokingly point out that he'd missed a spot on his lips.
- Sam's flask, meanwhile, bears a picture of Matt in his Undeadwood garb, captioned "It's hiiiiiiiiiiigh swoon." Upon seeing it, our tortured dungeon master can only growl.
- Though the golem situation is tense, there is something absolutely hilarious that the golem's major weakness ends up being the humble first level "Command" spell. It's used five times against it and it only succeeds once on its saving throw...with advantage.
- When estimating whether or not it's possible to use the odd gravity to vault to the floating island with the next door, Jester begins to goad Nott into jumping as she is the smallest and lightest. Nott argues against it. Eventually Jester just throws Nott into the abyss.Nott: You want me to jump into an abyss of DOOM???Jester: So we can see how far you go! Go, try to-!Nott: As an experiment???Jester: Nott!Nott: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH![Sam leans over the table as if he's being thrown]Sam: Alright. She's gonna toss me over the edge.
- The party finds a circlet that sets your Int to 19. Liam, not Caleb, wonders out loud what Caduceus would be like with that kind of power.Taliesin: I would start wearing sweater vests and have a pipe. Other than that, no change.
- Beau, wearing the circlet, remarks that gravity was first discovered by a Xhorhasian mage named "I'saac Nu'taan". Matt hangs his head in exasperation.
- The group find instructions for making a small golem personal servant. Beau wonders if Caleb would like one, as it'd be better than Frumpkin. Caleb's response?Caleb: Nothing is better than Frumpkin, I thought that thing made you smarter.
Caleb: Ja, what's your point, you love dicks.
- Caleb isn't above the idea of adding a chest cavity so Frumpkin can pilot the golem as a Mini-Mecha, though.
- Caleb names the golem William, AKA "Little Willy". As Jester points out that he's given the golem a dick's name, Caleb asks:
Episode 82: The Beat of the Permaheart
- Fjord grows tired of erudite Beau and promptly gives her a dope slap. Marisha and Travis act out a pitch perfect "Jock vs. Nerd" interaction.Fjord: Where is that jewel on the circlet?Beau: [leaning her head over] It's folded in right here-[Travis pantomimes slapping her on the head]Beau: oooooooooOOOOOOWWWWWuuhhhhh
- Marisha uses her combat Catchphrase "I will... fuck it" again, prompting the others to take this literally and say you probably shouldn't fuck this thing (a Halas-like abomination with 6 arms and multiple mouths)... and Matt jokingly telling them not to kink-shame, since it could be somebody's fetish.
- Nott/Sam tries to come up with a creative use of the Dagger of Denial, sealing the creature's mouth shut, as it's technically an "opening".Matt: One, it doesn't work that way. Two, you're in its mouth, you wouldn't want that to happen anyway.
- Sam and Travis make a bid to be cast in the next Planet of the Apes movie.Sam: Andy Serkis better be watching.
- The Mighty Nein's shenanigans reaches new heights. After find out where Yussah is being kept, they decide a path, either go back through the rooms they went in, or go into a "dreadnought room." After discussing, Travis and Sam's curiosities got the better of them and they took a look inside the chamber, everyone promising to only take a peek and then leave after they see what's there. They then see a massive creature which is chained and bound. Caleb realizes that this is an Astral Dreadnought, and eventually, after checking levers and such, realizes that the live Dreadnought itself could be a part of the Sphere, as its mouth is an extraplanar door in itself. The party then decides to go into the dreadnought's mouth, resulting in them being off the map altogether.
Episode 83: Dark Bargains
- For Halloween, everyone turns up as a character they've voiced. Matt is McCree and Liam is Gaara.Liam: Did you know you're dressed as a cowboy?Matt: Did you know you're dressed as a sand village weeaboo?
- Laura is Kait Diaz. She gets asked if she made it herself, causing her to awkwardly try to say she did before giving up and revealing a friend at Microsoft got it for her.
- Marisha is "Soldier B", a tribute to the many terrible bit-part roles that paid her rent as a young actress.
- Sam only shows up halfway through the recap, but he's dressed as Phoenix Wright, wearing a wig that can only be described as "not Phoenix". Not even Hobo Phoenix. It has a ponytail.Matt: Phoenix Wright hasn't been the same since the divorce.
- Later on, Sam claims Tara Strong is responsible for the wig. We're not sure if he's joking or not.
- As Sam is absent for the opening, Liam takes over the D&D Beyond spot. He takes a moment to cite how much Sam's unique character and charm brings to the ads, and proposes a toast... And then spends almost a full minute pouring wine through an aerator while staring at the camera.Travis: It... it sounds like a weak fart.[Liam continues pouring for 50 seconds]Liam: -So thank you, Sam! And thank you, D&D Beyond! Cheers, dears...Travis: All in one, all in one!Liam: [takes a meager sip] Nope. Goooooooooooo fuckyourselves.
- Beau investigates some runes, and thanks to her decent roll and newly acquired intelligence boost, can describe them better to Caleb.Beau: From kinda sneaking into your spellbooks and reading them when I've been bored-Caleb: -Excuse me?
- When Halas finds out just how long he's been trapped in the Archmage Bane:Beau: It's 836 PD.Halas: Well based on the fact that we are now working through time in a different era than I am familiar with, ummm... Not really knowing what "PD" refers to... and 800- Wow... yeah... it's been-Travis: AHAHAHA!Halas: That is very problematic... It's- Oh no...Travis: When the gem wizard says "Wow", shit's fucked up.
- Beau interrogates Halas about his golems... specifically; whether he's built any specifically for sex.
- Yussah uses Sending to contact Allura, and gets right to the point. Jester chides him for not using all twenty-five words the spell allows, like she does.
Episode 84: Titles and Tattoos
- Sam's DnD Beyond cheer spot. He definitely doesn't punch Laura and Taliesin in the face.
- Sam puts on the new blanket that Laura pulls out for the merch spot, declaring that he "can do anything under there". Laura confesses to already having stolen several.Taliesin: Anything we make is mostly so that we get one.
- Sam pulls out his over-sized flask during one of Matt's expositions, and the DM stops dead and has a wheezing laugh. The attached picture is a reaction shot of Marisha from the Undeadwood game, compared to a picture of a turtle retreating into it's shell, with the caption, "Spot the difference"Marisha: ...you fucking motherfucker...
Marisha: Don't you put this on him. I know Brian's brand of payback and this ain't it.
- Sam immediately tries to say that Brian Foster put him up to it, but Marisha shuts him down.
- The players have repeated trouble pronouncing "Tharizdun", until Matt corrects them yet again, then says in character as Alura, "That's how I learned to pronounce it, at least... In my training..." He then looks directly into the camera with a beleaguered look.
- Allura decides that she needs to ask the Council of Tal'Dorei for help. The Mighty Nein asks about the Council's membership. She teleports away before they complete the request. This sparks a Running Gag throughout the episode of the Nein asking knowledgeable people about the makeup of the Council.
- Nott uses the gem to talk to Halas again, asking him about changing her body. The rest of the Mighty Nein gets worried about it, and Caduceus casts Silence while Beau snatches the gem away. Nott spends a couple of minutes silently swearing at them, complete with gesticulation.
- The Nein receive a sack of platinum, and after having been "D&D-Poor" for so long, everyone looks like cartoon characters with dollar signs in their eyes.Travis: I'm Sam Riegel-rich!
- The (current) ladies of the Mighty Nein decide to get Orly's magical tattoos. Fjord totally isn't horrified by the prospect of watching it, so he goes off for fish and chips. Caleb and Caduceus agree, and the ladies quickly get down with the prospect of girl time, almost forcing the guys away.
- Thanks to some bad rolls, all three of them pass out during the tattooing process. Beau's first words after waking up are "I didn't pass out."
- Matt tries to "cut" to the guys returning after the process is over, only for Liam to sternly demand that they get to roleplay the fish and chips.Liam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. *I* wanna roleplay fish and chips. Back it up.Taliesin: Roll for vinegar.
- Meanwhile, the guys have a deep discussion about everything they are going through. Caduceus compares the Mighty Nein to a garden. Their bond feeds on their bullshit like the flowers feed on manure.
- Later, they reiterate their distaste for tattoos, and have a big reaction to the girls' tattoos.
- Nott's tattoo. Beautiful in design, but then she had to deal with the swelling the comes after. Her tattoo was put on her face on her eyelids, so she couldn't see much that night.
- Beau shows off her tattoo to Fjord and tells him not to touch it as it's still sore...so he immediately taps the area in question. Beau turns around and punches him on the shoulder which, due to some high rolls, sends him flying across the deck of the Ball Eater.
- Caleb is against going to see Oremid Hass, so Jester suggests a disguise and a different accent. Caleb's attempts quickly remind the Nein that Caleb is dreadful at accents.Caduceus: Fjord, your old accent is so weird.
- Fjord and Jester have a conversation on the way to Oremid Hass. After it's over, Beau pulls Nott aside... just to ask her "what do you think they're talking about?" Nott is still a Shipper on Deck for Fjord and Jester, and the two have a conversation that ends up getting surprisingly personal for Beau (about how she's only just learning to be herself), which shocks both Nott and Sam.Nott: Boy! How did we get here?!Talisin: Can we make a "therapy" character class, by the way? [...] As a Bard subclass?Nott: What just happened?!Travis: Can I lean over to Jester and go [As Fjord] "What do you think they're talking about?"
- Taliesin then takes the opportunity to remind everyone that Caduceus has been with the group the whole time, watching them split into pairs and whisper to each other. And probably hearing every word.
- Oremid Hass has a stern demeanour, but it crumbles instantly when he is presented with Frumpkin and Sprinkle.
- As the Mighty Nein leave, Jester asks him a couple of questions about Sprinkle. He gives Jester even more information than she wanted.
Episode 85: The Threads Converge
- Brick and Sorty. Liam has some absolutely stellar one-liners, but Taliesin and Matt sum it up beautifully.Brick: Make it fast Sorty, my life expectancy is shorter than your pubes.Brick: DNA was a major discovery. Nuclear fusion was a major discovery. Another Rick and Morty promo is more like an unexpected taco burp. Momentarily pleasurable, but about as rare as Matt Mercer dropping the words "toothy maw" into a tabletop game.Taliesin: This is the amusement park Rick and Morty.Matt: The bad, hire-able birthday actors' Rick and Morty!
- The battle with Jourrael is a tense affair, but still manages a few moments of levity thanks to Laura rolling horribly, Taliesin asking on the off-chance that the assassin is "part magic plant or something" and the beautiful return of Nott's Hideous Laughter dad jokes.
- Beau and Nott pull Jester aside so they can persuade her to drop her idea of tricking the Gentleman by impersonating her mother. Caduceus eventually wanders over to them and surprises them, which is odd given his large size.
- They all link arms when they go to the Gentleman's base, drawing a few funny looks.
- The Gentleman describes a particular wine making family as the Addams Family of Beau's hometown. Taliesin immediately does the iconic *snap-snap.*
- Beau asks the Gentleman if he knows who is on the Tal'Dorei Council. Taliesin tosses Marisha a few dollars, saying that she earned it.
- As The Gentleman offers the Nein sanctuary, Caduceus warns him of Jourrael's intangibility. His response is a very cheery "Then you're fucked!"
- After Caleb spits up the spoiled milk he ordered at the Gentleman's bar, Travis makes a joke that Frumpkin comes up to start lapping up the milk, only to instantly take too much damage and FOOMPF away. The whole table cracks up.
- Beau and Nott have another honest conversation. Nott reveals that she was briefly attracted to Caleb when they first met. Beau reveals that she has a little crush on Jester. Cue the Big "WHAT?!".
- Nott offers to help Beau with the situation. Cue the Big "NO!" from Beau, and the rest of the cast bursts out laughing.
- Nott also claims that Caleb is the only man she's looked at that way aside from her husband. Cue Laura and Taliesin miming horns as a call back to Ulumon the Minotaur from Asarius who Nott was openly attracted to.
- While Beau is explaining why she's attracted to Jester, Travis flexes his arms and points to it while staring at the rest of the cast.
- During this sequence, Matt gets a delighted look on his face. It screams "the DM will remember this." He's trying very hard not to cry from laughing.
- Marisha apologises to Liam for invading his personal space by flailing during "secret time". She protests that she was never going to punch him though; she's not that lacking in self-awareness. Liam simply stares into the camera.
- In response, someone made a video compilation of all the times Marisha has invaded Liam's personal space in Campaign 2.
- Nott and Jester remember that they have Astrid's package waiting at the Pillow Trove. They tell the party, who eventually decide to send Caleb in to retrieve it as he cannot be scryed. In order to make the voices match because he cannot do accents, they record Jester's voice on a magic stone and Caleb uses Disguise Self to look like Jester. He goes in and uses the stone, but he has to mouth along with it. Reality Subtext kicks in when one remembers that they have all dubbed anime, so they are used to doing something very much like this. Becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when one remembers that Liam had to do exactly this for one of Sam's D&D Beyond spots.
- Even better that Jester's natural rambling Motor Mouth tendencies place a lot of extra verbal asides into what is supposed to be a succinct conversation. This leads to a lot of awkwardness as the clerk keeps responding to what Jester/Caleb is saying, prolonging the tense encounter. The rest of the cast fall apart watching this happen.
- Pumat Prime reacts to Jester!Caleb as though he is one of Jester's Duplicates.Pumat Sol: Oh! Never, uh, heard this one talk before.Caleb: [appearing as Jester] Yes, I'm learning.
- Caduceus tries to spot Obann and co. from the roof of the Cobalt Soul's monastery when the party teleports to Rexxentrum. He has advantage on the roll. After an entire episode of rolling well for Perception and Insight, Taliesin rolls double ones. That gets him an end result of 13, but still...
Episode 86: The Cathedral
- Caleb McClane.Taliesin: "Now I got a fire spell. Ho ho ho."
Caleb: Yippee-ay-oh-ki-ay, motherfuckers!
- This exchange between Ashley and Travis when Ashley sits down at the table.Travis: Please be out of practice.
Ashley: When am I not out of practice? Every time I sit at this table, I'm like "What's D&D?"
- Ashley's first Raging, Reckless attack against the party? Double natural ones of course.Matt: You had one job!
- Fjord summons a Vrock to fight the airborne Obann. His spell? "It's time to Vrock!"
- Liam was delighted, and asked Travis to say that every time he summons a Vrock from now on.Taliesin: We'll have to add a d4 for Pun damage.
Liam: Yeah, but that goes to Matt.
- Liam was delighted, and asked Travis to say that every time he summons a Vrock from now on.
- The following exchange when Pumat Sol casts Tenser's Transformation:Taliesin: Do we want to say it together? (points at Liam) Ready? Three, two, one.
Taliesin, Ashley, and Liam: Pumat Swole.
- What makes it funnier is that some viewers in the chat beat them to the name by a few seconds.
- When Pumat Sol becomes Pumat Swole, he speaks in an even deeper voice than usual.
- After Pumat demands the party go on without him to pursue Obann, and they close off the way behind them, Sam pretends to be Pumat for the rest of the session, occasionally crying out in pain or fear, begging the players to help. Laura does not find it funny at all, given how beloved Pumat is.
- The Nein are investigating a crypt while following Obann, so naturally Jester takes a moment to graffiti the statue of Pelor in the centre of the crypt.
- Becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when you remember that Vex, Laura's character in Campaign 1, became Pelor's Champion.
Episode 87: Punishment and Politics
- At the top of the show, Sam makes another one of his... completely restrained and utterly boring ads. Taliesin looks straight at the camera and mouths "help" a couple of times before tapping out S.O.S. in Morse Code.
- Immediately after Obann the Punished has performed a wide area tentacle attack, followed by swallowing Caleb whole...Marisha: Watch him whip... watch him nom nom.Laura: Hahahaha! Stupid.
- Once again, Laura has a great idea for Jester that is foiled by a bad dice roll. This leads to a joke about cleansing her dice.Taliesin: We need an old priest and a young priest. An old priest and a young priest.
- As the Caedogeist, Matt scores the HDYWTDT against Obann the Punished. Sam decides to have a little fun with the situation.
- The first thing that Caduceus does after being saved from Obann the Punished's maw, while still covered in blood, slime and viscera? He holds his arms out and asks the Caedogeist for a hug.Caedogeist: Not my type of... interaction.
- Pumat tells the Nein about how he laid waste to a room full of cultists and demons.Pumat: It's been a while since I've had to flex the old Pu-Muscles.
- Jester manages to convince the Cobalt Soul monks investigating the lower chambers of the chantry that the dick she drew in the last episode was added there by Angel of Irons cult.
- Fjord goes to investigate the Laughing Hand's corpse, but his touch causes it to crumble into dust. He immediately acts as if it was at the Wildmother's bidding.Fjord: Wildmother be up in here.
- Even better? Caduceus reacts as if Fjord was actually being profound when he said that.
- Yasha asks Fjord about his different accent. Nott quickly spins a story about Fjord having been kicked in the head by a donkey and having to relearn how to talk.
- Yasha asks Caleb why he is so nervous. The others quickly try to change the subject by claiming that he's trying to hold in a massive fart. Fjord jokes about how maybe something else has come out, and talks about looking at Caleb's backside for evidence.Caleb: Please don't stare at my Pu-Muscles.
- Caduceus lays out his theory ("educated guess") about how the Cult of Tharizdun used mind control to cause the assault on Rexxentrum. The king tells him that he does not look very educated. Caduceus thanks him.
- Ashley continuing the Running Gag of the Mighty Nein trying to find out who the TalDorei council is... in the middle of their audience with King Dwendel, before pointing out that Yasha genuinely doesnt know who the council are.