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Funny / Cool Runnings

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  • Derrice is trying to convince Sanka to join with a book about bobsledding.
    Sanka: Let me see that. (reading) "The key elements to a successful sled team are a steady driver and three strong runners to push off down the ice..." Ice?! Ice?
    Derrice: (shrugs) It's kind of a winter sport, you know.
    Sanka: You mean winter as in ice?
    Derrice: Maybe.
    Sanka: You winter as in igloos and Eskimos and penguins!
    Derrice: Possibly.
    Sanka: (drops the book) See ya.
  • Irv is recruiting sledders and puts on an old film reel which descends into a compilation of horrible crashes.
    Irv: Always remember: your bones will not break in a bobsled. No, no. They shatter.
    • And the capper? "Crash Kills Bobsledder"
    • When the lights come up, the place is deserted.
  • Irv and Sanka's debate on his role on the team.
    Sanka Coffie: You don't understand, I am Sanka Coffie, I am the best pushcart driver in all of Jamaica! ...I must drive! Do you dig where I'm coming from?
    Irv: Yeah, I dig where you're coming from.
    Sanka Coffie: Good.
    Irv: Now dig where I'm coming from. I'm coming from two gold medals. I'm coming from nine world records in both the two- and four-man events. I'm coming from ten years of intense competition with the best athletes in the world.
    Sanka Coffie: (Beat) That's a hell of a place to be coming from!
    Irv: Y'see, Sanka, the driver has to work harder than anyone. [continues talking to Sanka, but looks at Derrice] He's the first to show up, and the last to leave. When his buddies are all out drinking beer, he's up in his room studying pictures of turns. Y'see, a driver must remain focused 100% at all times. Not only is he responsible for knowing every inch of every course he races, he's also responsible for the lives of the other three people in the sled. Now do you want that responsibility?
  • Just after the team's first sled hits the police officer's car, Irv comes running down the hill to tell the team that they beat their best time. So what does he say to the now very stunned police?
    Irv: You did it! (sees the cops next to the team) Get out of my way.
  • Sanka in general, from turning up at a hotel room door wearing a maid's hat and brandishing a feather duster. To happily joining in a couples style Rodeo Dance ("howdy patna"), and later a bar room brawl, to kissing his "lucky egg".
    • The aforementioned rodeo dance scene is funny enough when Sanka can barely keep up with the woman he's attempting to dance with. Then they cut back to him later in the same scene, and suddenly his steps are perfectly in time and he and his dance partner have swapped hats.
  • Sanka's dabble into Flowery Insults is pretty good.
    Sanka: What I am saying to you, is that you are the kind of club-toting, raw-meat-eating, Me-Tarzan-You-Jane-ing, big, bald bubblehead that can only count to ten if he's barefoot or wearing sandals.
  • The entire sequence of our boys arriving in the freezing Canadian weather, wearing light jackets and sweatshirts. Plenty fine for Jamaica where "cold" means about 20 degrees, but not for the Calgary blizzard they walk into. Their expressions of pure shock just sells it.
    • Note that Irv is wearing basically the same thing, with only the addition of a wool coat. But having lived in the US and been a winter athlete for years, the only effect you see is him squinting because of the wind. His being fatter also gives him more cold tolerance than the four Jamaicans.
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    • Sanka immediately runs back inside the airport and puts on every item of clothing in his duffle bag. And then puts on the duffle bag itself.
      Derice: Sanka man, what's 'cha smokin'?
      Sanka: I'm not smokin', I'm breathin'!
    • When the boys all rush onto the bus that comes for them, Irv has this to say (one can only wonder how he even survived in Jamaica):
    Irv: What's the matter, you guys cold? It's not so much the, uh, heat, it's the humidity that'll kill ya.
  • Fed-up with Josef Grool's taunts, Derice asks Irv what his problem is:
    Irv: That's Josef Grool. He's one of the best drivers in the world.
    Yul: Yeah, and he's one of the biggest assholes in the world too.
  • When the team has their first run down an actual bobsled track, Sanka Screams Like a Little Girl the entire way.
  • Yul's pep talk working a little too well on Junior, in that he storms out to pick a fight with the East German bobsledders who've been hassling them all night, while Yul can only stare in shock as if to say "What the hell just happened?"
  • The bar brawl between the Jamaican and East German bobsled teams falls between this and Awesome. Special mention to Sanka's Dynamic Entry into the fight, making a flying tackle into the brawl while screaming "Yippie ki-yay!"
  • The morning after he chews them out for getting into trouble in the bar brawl, saying that "I didn't come here to get my butt whipped, and maybe it's time I start doing a little whipping of my own!", Irv is shocked awake by an alarm clock being held next to his ear.
    Sanka: Rise and shine!
    • Their training in the weight room gives us a good general summation on the athleticism of each team member:
      • Derice takes the "slow-and-steady" approach with each exercise.
      • Yul (being the most well-built) is pretty much killing it.
      • Junior has to put in a bit more effort than the latter two but otherwise manages to keep up.
      • Sanka, of course, can barely do one leg press without tiring and when attempting to do a pull-up he can barely get himself a few inches off the floor. He needs Irv to lift him up to the bar.
        Irv: You know you're gonna have to do this on your own one day.
  • Irv getting ready to throw snowballs at the guys when they run past him only to have them do exactly that to him.
  • Yul threatening Sanka:
    Yul: How 'bout I beat your butt right now?
    Sanka: How 'bout I draw a line down the middle of your head so it looks like a butt?
  • "Will ya shut up about the damn Swiss?"
  • Sanka knocks on the door of Yul and Junior's hotel room in a maid outfit complete with feather duster.
    Sanka: Maid service, sir! Would you like your bed turned down? Mint? Perhaps I can dust your head?
    Yul: Whatever is wrong with you is no little thing. (closes the door)

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