Moments of funny from Chronicles of Darkness.
- Beast: The Primordial
- Demon: The Descent
- Changeling: The Lost
- Geist: The Sin-Eaters
- Hunter: The Vigil
- Mage: The Awakening
- Mummy: The Curse
- Vampire: The Requiem
- Werewolf: The Forsaken
- The first edition corebook gives us this gem when describing the setting:"Superficially, most people in this fictional world live the same lives we do. They eat the same food, wear the same clothes, and waste time watching the same stupid TV shows."
- Antagonists gives up this nice little jab when describing how many amateur hunters can fall into Arbitrary Skepticism:Many potential alliances never happen because hunters either dont believe each other, or miss references because they dont fit in their personal views of the supernatural: I saw a vampire drinking someones blood. What? Werewolves? No, thats stupid. Ill be some vampires can turn into wolves, though. (If you dont believe people are this tunnel-visioned or arrogant, spend an hour on an unmoderated forum anywhere on the Internet).
- Two hunters are discussing a new mission they have been given. One complains that it seems like a wild goose chase, to which the other replies "Yeah, well, you know what else they said was a wild goose chase? Finding Bigfoot. But where is he now? In federal prison because he never paid his taxes."
"There's a tree in my basement.""So?""It gives me magic powers.""Yer nuts. Gimme another beer."
- From World Of Darkness: Skinchangers, the intro to "Spirit-Skinner":
- Reliquary (the book discussing Relics and other artifacts) provides this line while discussing how apples can mean trouble:"An apple could be the logo of a company (like an electronic company, just to pull an example out of nowhere) which is the front for some smug, overconfident villain."
- In the same vein, there is this bit about what churches are ready to do to protect their relics:
- For all the horrifying things given in the God-Machine Chronicles, some of the sample Angels provided here have downright hilarious weaknesses. Highlight include:
- An angel disguised as a cop who is vulnerable to donuts (as in, they cause him Aggravated damages when he touches them);
- One disguised as a servant in a diner who cannot refuse a request for a cup of coffee;
- One who has to subtly reveal his true nature when spoken in Spanish... which wouldn't be that bad if not for the fact his human form looks Hispanic, has a Spanish accent and doesn't speak Spanish, not to mention the God-Machine's main enemies are all natural Omniglots.
- Then you have the Lady in Red, an Angel whose task is to ensure two specific people will end up forming a couple, even if she has to ruin their already existing relationships in order to succeed. In other word, her entire role consists in re-enacting your typical Fan-Preferred Couple fanfic plot.
- Similarly, some of the God-Machine Chronicles sample situations described to show how humans occasionally interact with the supernatural are hilarious in how casual they are:
- A woman comes to deliver a pizza in an appartment finds out her "client" is a man with the head of a fly who is using said pizzas for... something with his larvae. Instead of killing her, the fly-man just takes the pizza, shoves money in her hand and closes the door, as if this was a perfectly normal situation.
- A drunken student trying to drive his way back home gets assaulted by a being of light, who... knocks him unconcious and temporarily takes away his keys so he won't kill himself on the road. Talk about an unusual way to avoid traffic accidents.
- A woman is taking the elevator, when a cyborg-like creature walks in, waits next to her saying nothing, then leave as if nothing weird happened.
- Hurt Locker introduces a Fighting Style Merit known as Avoidance, best-described as the fighting style of of a Dirty Coward- which is as funny as it sounds. Moves include looking so unthreatening people will neglect attacking you, tricking your opponent into hurting themselves (or your allies) or flat-out Playing Possum.