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Funny / Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

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Chapter One: October Country

  • What does Sabrina do after saying goodbye to Harvey with a good night's kiss, post-them separating from Roz and Susie? She goes into the house, magically turning the radio on and begins dancing. Yep, Sabrina Spellman is a dork.
Chapter Two: Dark Baptism
  • Zelda kills Hilda so often that it's a running gag.
    Ambrose: Where's Aunt Hilda?
    Zelda: She annoyed me, so I killed her and buried her in the yard.
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  • And when Hilda comes back, we get this gem:
    Hilda: You can't keep killing me.
    Zelda: I'm your older sister, Hilda. It's my Satan-given right to kill you as many times as I please.
Chapter Four: Witch Academy
  • After enchanting Sabrina's mirror so she can spy on her, Madam Satan takes her first peek into her room....and sees Sabrina on the phone to Harvey.
    Madam Satan: Eugh. That's about all I care to see of that business. [walks away]
Chapter Five: Dreams in a Witch House
  • Madam Satan stumbling through everyone's dreams in an Absolute Cleavage-bearing robe trying to find Sabrina.
    Madam Satan: I apologize, I seem to be in the wrong nightmare.
    • Bonus points for Madame Satan, an honest-to-devil demon, looking positively revolted at Hilda and (dream) Principal Hawthorne doing....something...
  • Zelda's worst nightmare. Satan, the Dark Lord, refusing to sample her perfectly cooked ''roast child'' and deciding he'll only eat Hilda's vegetable pie. It's less funny when Zelda kills Helda and she doesn't come back to life, and Zelda completely breaks down.
    • Oh, and who is the Dark Lord in the nightmare? Blackwood with horns, a goatee and a handlebar mustache.
Chapter Seven: Feast of Feasts
  • How they got the truth from Lady Blackwood: a cake that makes you tell the truth when you eat it.
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  • When Lady Blackwood calls her husband, the High Priest, a voracious slut.
  • When Dorcas and Agatha inquire about their parentage.
    Agatha/Dorcas: Are we your daughters, too?
    Father Blackwood: Hmm? No, you’re just orphans.
  • During all these revelations Ambrose is casually drinking his wine and Dorcas is eating her cake.
  • Madam Satan, wearing a not-full-closed robe, opens the door for a pizza delivery guy, and says, "My. That looks like a heavy pizza. Would you mind... setting it over there for me?" The poor guy smiles eagerly and enters the house, obviously thinking he just stumbled into a porn movie. Presumably it didn't work out that well for him.
Chapter Nine: The Returned Man
  • Zelda's song choice when she's directing the Satanic choir: "Do Re Mi," one of the least Satanic songs she could possibly choose.
Chapter Ten: The Witching Hour
  • Hilda's reaction when Zelda reveals she kidnapped Father Blackwood's baby daughter.
    Hilda: Did you make a magic baby?
    • This one doubles as a Call-Back, because in an older version of the Sabrina backstory, Zelda and Hilda accidentally created Sabrina through a potion.
Chapter Eleven: A Midwinters Tale
  • When Sabrina asks Roz and Susie for help with a seance, they just stare at her, prompting her to ask if it's too soon after finding out she's a witch, or simply too weird. Simultaneously, they separately give both answers.
  • Roz's reaction when Zelda says they're going to use the phone book to find the demon who kidnapped Susie.

Daughter of ChaosWhen Prudence wonders why she has nobody to talk to the following exchange occurs.

Mania Brown: Hi Prudence you look beautiful and mystical today.
Prudence: As I always do, no need to comment on it. How dare you speak to me.

Chapter Fourteen: Lupercalia

  • When Doctor Cerberus reveals to Hilda that he's possessed by an incubus, he states how bizarre this must seem to someone with no knowledge of the occult. As he says this, Hilda gives a hilarious Aside Glance.
  • Lilith being told about "her" (actually Ms Wardwell's) fiance, named Adam. Her face screams "Seriously???"
Chapter Eighteen: The Miracles of Sabrina Spellman
  • Zelda's reaction after Hilda & Sabrina break the spell she was under which turned her into a stepford wife.
    Zelda: Satan in hell, what am I wearing?!
Chapter Nineteen: The Mandrake
  • Harvey, Theo, and Roz are walking home when Roz decides to break the tension between herself and Harvey. Theo immediately excuses himself.
    Roz: Why did you say that to Sabrina? "If you ever loved me." Why those specific words?
    Theo: (nervously, without missing a beat) Actually, guys, I'm gonna peel off here!
    • Near the end of the episode, after their near-death encounter, Roz and Harvey make up and start making out... and Theo, who's seated at the table with them, awkwardly looks away and drinks.
Chapter Twenty: The Mephisto Waltz
  • Sabrina saying that Miss Wardwell was her favorite teacher, comes of at this because she hadn’t noticed the personality change when Lilith took over Mary’s identity. Mary is shy and reserved, while Lilith is sultry cunning and manipulative.
Chapter Twenty-Six: All of them Witches
  • When one of the hedge witches asks where they gonna sleep, Dezmelda the witch from the woods points to bunch of wood moss and leaves and remarks that she brought her house.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Sabrina is Legend
  • While Sabrina is devising her plan to defeat the pagans, Hilda and Zelda can be heard in the background discussing whether they could give Mary Wardwell, who shot Zelda, to the Pagans. They come to an agreement that, where they are concerned, they could, most definitely, give her to the Pagans!
  • At the end of the episode, once the Cuckoo clock falls, the whole family just stare at it. Silently, Hilda, Zelda and Sabrina all come to the same agreement - whatever shit is about to happen can wait. This time, they're having dinner instead. Yes, Hilda, Zelda and Sabrina would like some pie.

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