Funny / Carry On Matron

• Mr. Tidey hurrying into the hospital and being launched across the waiting room after tripping.
• Sid goes to visit his son, but catches two nurses rolling around on a bed kissing sensually (one of them, unknowingly, his son in disguise).
  Sid: Cor, blimey!
• When Bernard goes to try and win his way with Matron:
  Matron: Certainly not! It's just that I'm a simple woman with simple tastes and I want to be wooed!
  Sir Bernard: Ooh, you can be as wude as you like with me!
  • Also the fact that Matron's spent the entire movie flirting with him, and now that he seems interested, she's unsettled.
• Mrs. Tidey's introduction:
  Matron: Well now, you're three weeks overdue and your husband's getting very impatient.
  Mrs. Tidey: Him? Well 'e can talk. Took him seven years to get me pregnant.
• This:
  Matron: Oh, I nearly forgot. Your mail.
  Sir Bernard: Yes, I am and I can prove it! D'you hear?! PROVE IT!
• Sir Bernard and his scenes with Dr. Goode.
  • His meeting with him:
    • This:
      Sir Bernard: Dr. Goode, I'm not interested in your wife!
      Dr. Goode: Well that's a funny thing, neither am I. Ah-ha. Shall we forget her?
      Sir Bernard: With pleasure.
    • Let's not forget:
      Sir Bernard: Have you known, of a case, of a man... turning into a woman?
      Dr. Goode: No? But I've heard of one who turned into a one-way street!
  • Spraying him with a foamy fire extinguisher.
  • Discovering that they're both from the Brotherhood of Newts' alumni and aggressively reciting their pledge while Sir Bernard's secretary Miss Banks watches them in confusion from her door.
• Dr. Goode's office door with his nameplate reading "Dr. F.A. Goode".
• Sir Bernard watching Matron chasing Sid across the car park from his window.
  Matron: Come back! I want you!
  Sir Bernard: By God! She's a sex maniac!
• Freddy finding a pair of Matron's over-sized knickers during the heist:
  Freddy: What are we looking for?
  Sid: Oh, knickers!
  Freddy: Here Sid, I found 'em.
• Freddy and Ernie's argument over whether the story of Ernie's birth was true because the Number 73 double-decker bus he was supposedly born on probably didn't travel to town at that time.

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