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Funny / Call of Duty: Zombies

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Despite the rampant Nightmare Fuel and grim settings, Zombies has more than a few laughs to be found.

  • A few, triggered by the characters automatic in-game responses
    Nikolai:(gunning down zombies) NO! GET AWAY! IT'S MY VODKA! MINE!
  • When Richtofen is downed in Kino:
    Richtofen: No, no! I'm not ready for hell! I don't even have my good shoes on!
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  • This gem from Kino when Dempsey is low on ammo:
  • Pretty much all the editions from Shi No Numa onward have been running on Denser and Wackier, with the characters spouting off hilarious one-liners after running low on ammo, getting downed, and killing in any conceivable fashion (and increasingly started Breaking the Fourth Wall as well). And, from around Ascension on, even Straight Man Takeo has become the Comically Serious.
    Takeo:(running low on ammor) Confucius say... GET MORE BURRETS, DAMNIIIIT!!!
  • This. Just... just this. Even better since they got the voice actors!
  • During a Nuke in Moon:
    Dempsey: Gotta love that that doesn't affect us-WAIT, is my hair falling out?!?
  • Russman sings a little ditty in TranZit:
    Russman: Run down, turn around, kill a herd of zombies!
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  • In the Mob of the Dead intro, the inmates are clearly putting on their best shows to buddy up with prison guard Stanley Ferguson. Sal asks about Ferguson's family, and Ferguson happily says that his son is almost six. Sal says very awkwardly, "well ain't that swell?", clearly not giving that much of a shit. And hell, Billy doesn't even try to play nice, he just keeps quiet (if you can't say anything nice...).
  • Maxis and Richtofen are both on their best behavior during Buried as they try to get you to complete their sidequests. Maxis ever so politely insists that he does not wish to be unsympathetic to Victis' plight, but you really need to get to work. Richtofen, meanwhile, quickly grows upset with Samuel when he doesn't listen to his instructions, and even tries sweet-talking him like a puppy.
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  • In The Giant 's intro, WW2!Richtofen takes off his hat and smiles when he sees what appears in the teleporter, seemingly ecstatic to meet himself, only for Origins!Richtofen to shoot him in the head without saying anything. It's so unexpected it might cause a few chuckles.
  • Half of the things JFK says.
    (when trying to buy something that he doesn't have enough points for) "BUT I WANT IT!"
  • The aptly names Whimsical Gobblegums range from making zombies that die from explosions projectile vomit to inverting gravity for the many zombie corpses you'll rack up to coloring them solid colors to having Wacky Sound Effects play when they die. It more than makes up for their general uselessness.
  • Many of Monty's ramblings can provide levity during Revelations, due to the fact that despite being an omnipotent being, Monty is forced to make it up as he goes along; Malcolm McDowell succeeds in portraying the general sort of stumbling you'd do when trying to think of things during a chaotic crisis.
    Monty: If I were to give you an analogy, I'd describe it like this: when a duck swims on the lake, you only see it glide, apparently effortlessly. But underneath, as in beneath the surface? It's a whole other story. Its' legs are moving like he's pedaling a fucking bicycle up a mountain! Well, that's me right now! I am that duck!
  • Nikolai grumbles during Fire Sales in Revelations that his reward will probably be a crappy pistol or a sniper rifle.
  • In Blood of the Dead, Takeo praises Dempsey for being a devoted soldier in his usual, poetic way. Dempsey responds, "I love you too, Tak, but can you please not poke me in the feelings right now?"
  • In Blood, Richtofen lampshades how the characters now have a conversation when reviving each other, and says the commentary from whoever is reviving him is unnecessary.
  • Richtofen's lab hidden in Alcatraz has his walnut teleporter prototype. Mess with it a few times in Blood of the Dead and it will break, causing some disappointment by the members of Primus, except Dempsey, who goes whoops, and whistles.
  • The intro cutscene for Classified shows the player exactly why kind of map they're in for. Stylised as 60's style coloured backdrops and spy music, it is revealed how Ultimis ended up in the Pentagon instead of Groom Lake; someone overloaded the teleporter with Element 115 energy, screwing with it and sending the four back in time...after Dempsey fired a Wonder Weapon inside a teleporter. Again. All Richtofen can do is faceplam in irritation, to which Dempsey gives a hearty shrug.
    • The cutscene also shows the four exploring the Pentagon, opening and closing doors and shutters like it's a Scooby-Doo episode - and the first thing Nikolai does is find some presidental booze and chug it. Yep, this is Ultimis, alright.
  • There are a number of jumpscares across some of the maps after Mob of the Dead, and some of them are very creepy. The one in Classified? Less so; It's Last-Gen Richtofen, the infamously poorly rendered Richtofen from the Xbox 360 and PS3 versions of Shadows of Evil, which quickly became a meme due to just how off he looks. A decent parody of the other jumpscares, all considered.
  • A meta example, but the very idea that George Romero, the same man who helped invent the modern zombie genre is now a zombie director trying to kill the main characters in Call of the Dead, is very funny in and of itself.
  • Alpha Omega has both Ultimis and Primis as playable characters and they mix and match. The end result can have Primis Nikolai and Takeo be forced to play the role of babysitter to Ultimis Dempsey and Richtofen for example.
  • Nobody likes rebuilding barricades (justified due to how pointless it becomes very quickly.) They'll almost always have good lines for it.
    Ultimis Dempsey: Everything trying to kill us, death around every corner, and I'm here practicing CARPENTRY?!
    Ultimis Dempsey: If I'm nailing anything, I should be nailing meatsacks... with bullets! Come on, get your mind out of the gutter!
    Ultimis Dempsey: Shouldn't, like, Takeo be doing this? Or is he too busy moping?
    Primis Dempsey: Who's got wood and two thumbs? OW, FUCK! thumb.
    Ultimis Takeo: This is a task for peasants... where is Nikolai?
    Ultimis Takeo: *"whistling* ...What? Richtofen does it to pass the time, why can't Takeo?
    Ultimis Nikolai: It is okay, everyone. Nikolai will fix wall. All by self. Just like always.
    Ultimis Nikolai: Payment for boarding walls too low! Nikolai should start union.
    Ultimis Richtofen: Hello, zombies? It's nearly ready for you to tear down!
    Primis Richtofen: Hello again, futility, I'm Edward! Remember me? We aren't friends.
    Primis Richtofen: There we are! Sturdy as a moist towelette.
    Primis Richtofen: Damn planks! Splinters! Blasted menial labor!
    • Barricades really don't sit well with Primis Richtofen's OCD:
      Primis Richtofen: Already it's crooked! Let the dead tear it down, I don't care anymore.
    • Tellingly, barricades ended up getting phased out in Black Ops IV, to the point where there's barely any in most Chaos maps, and Alpha Omega does away with them altogether.

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