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Funny / By Any Means

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  • In 1x02, TomTom as "Yuri" has been mugging with a Russian accent that is clearly not that believable:
    Jack Quinn: OK, let me explain it again. Because there's clearly been some kind of misunderstanding.
    Thomas Tomkins: You said the more real we make Yuri the better, right?
    Jack: Yeah, real as in normal, not some third-rate Bond villain - you go in there stroking a cat and the whole thing's over.
    Thomas: I'm not going to be stroking a... (*exasperated*) I'm allergic to cats - make my eyes itchy.
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  • In 1x03, the foursome are posing as rat catchers:
    Jack Quinn: Jack Reed, Environmental Health. We've had reports of rats in the adjoining buildings and we're trying to find the source.
    Celia Butler: Ooh, I hate rats. Dirty creatures.
    Jack: The thing is we need to check your property.
    Celia Butler: I have an old rifle up in the attic, I'd be happy to help.
    Jessica: Well, actually we tend to use more humane methods these days.
  • In 1x04, discussing the Big Bad of the episode:
    Tom Tom: Seriously though, I never checked her medical records. She might have a weak ticker and keel over from the stress.
    Jack: She'll be fine, I doubt she's even got a heart.
  • In 1x05, when trying to come up with plans to gain access to a particular prisoner:
    Jess: I can lay my hands on nine pounds of Semtex and a helicopter.
    Jack: Would we get the helicopter back in one piece?
    Jess: I wouldn't want to make that promise.


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