- In 1x02, TomTom as "Yuri" has been mugging with a Russian accent that is clearly not that believable:Jack Quinn: OK, let me explain it again. Because there's clearly been some kind of misunderstanding.Thomas Tomkins: You said the more real we make Yuri the better, right?Jack: Yeah, real as in normal, not some third-rate Bond villain - you go in there stroking a cat and the whole thing's over.Thomas: I'm not going to be stroking a... (*exasperated*) I'm allergic to cats - make my eyes itchy.
- In 1x03, the foursome are posing as rat catchers:Jack Quinn: Jack Reed, Environmental Health. We've had reports of rats in the adjoining buildings and we're trying to find the source.Celia Butler: Ooh, I hate rats. Dirty creatures.Jack: The thing is we need to check your property.Celia Butler: I have an old rifle up in the attic, I'd be happy to help.Jessica: Well, actually we tend to use more humane methods these days.
- In 1x04, discussing the Big Bad of the episode:Tom Tom: Seriously though, I never checked her medical records. She might have a weak ticker and keel over from the stress.Jack: She'll be fine, I doubt she's even got a heart.
- In 1x05, when trying to come up with plans to gain access to a particular prisoner:Jess: I can lay my hands on nine pounds of Semtex and a helicopter.Jack: Would we get the helicopter back in one piece?Jess: I wouldn't want to make that promise.
Funny / By Any Means