- Harvey Fierstein steals every scene he's in.Partygoer: Helen has such a-a-a... a new vitality. Even her face looks so smooth.Sid: I know. The monkey glands are working.
- Helen: Look, I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve.Sid: You're talking Chinese New Year's.Helen: Naturally. Still, that's two days, Sid! You know how long that is for me?
- David's near Spit Take right after Helen makes this corker of a line:Helen: You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No... not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina.
Funny / Bullets over Broadway