Funny / Bordertown

For the 2016 American animated sitcom

The Engagement

• Bryce constantly getting abducted by aliens to be anal probed and then feeling betrayed when the aliens start abducting other people.
  Bud: You got abducted again last night?!
  Bryce: Those aliens, they think they can just show up drunk for a quick anal probe.
  • This ends up saving Bud, J.C and Ernesto when Steve is abducted by the aliens before he can discover that Ernesto is hiding Bud and J.C in his trunk.
• After J.C is deported to Mexico, he comes across a group of people claiming they can see the Virgin Mary in a tortilla. When J.C tells them to Stop Being Stereotypical, the ACTUAL Virgin Mary appears, steals his wallet and tells him he just got male-pattern baldness.
• When Bud finds out J.C and Becky got engaged, his head explodes.
• The Couch Gag where El Coyote puts a painting of the surrounding countryside in front of Bud's station so he can't see the illegals sneaking past.
  Bud: You're good luck, stationary bird suspended in the sky. No immigrants ever try to pass when I see you.

Borderwall

• The mayor of Mexafornia, Mayor Paulson, is serving prison time for vehicular manslaughter and can only attend his duties in a prison uniform while watched by guards. At one point he tries to celebrate passing the border wall law by lighting a crack pipe, and the guards stop him.
  Mayor: Hey, I had to be a Samoan guy's mattress for that!
  • He also tries to quickly make vehicular manslaughter not a crime while passing the border wall bill, but the guards stop him again.
    Mayor: Oh come on, that preschool nap room came out of nowhere!
• J.C gets encased in concrete while protesting the new border wall, and when it hardens, he looks like Han Solo frozen in carbonite. Becky then roars like Chewbacca.
• The Breaking Bad parody with Bud and Steve's immigrant tunnel.
• Bud telling his family he's making a jazz album in the basement while he's really running an illegal immigrant smuggling ring. At the end of the episode, it turns out he really DID make a jazz album, which became the highest selling jazz record ever... by selling 7 copies.
• The news anchor talking about the downed plane Bud found.
  News Anchor: When reached for comment, Buckwald tried to order a pizza.

MegaChurch

• Everything about Reverend Fantastic and how ostentatious his church is and how incompetent and corrupt he is as a preacher. He cant even pronounce God's NAME right.
• Pope Francis appearing at the end and getting all the Mexican church attendants to go back to the Catholic church by hitting them with his shoe.
• Pope Francis running over a rabbi and grumbling, "Oh, great! This is gonna be a thing!"
• Reverent Fantastic visiting Bud's house.
  Fantastic: Ingenious idea, a house only for defecating so the smell doesn't bother you in your regular house!
  Bud: This is our regular house
  Fantastic: Right right, that's what I meant, you have a beautiful house, and your daughters look exactly like women!
  • He also leers at Maria through the Gonzales window.
    Ernesto: Uh, I think your reverend is looking in through my window.
    Fantastic: Oh, uh, I was just looking for God in your house, and indeed he has left traces of his beard in the middle of your wife!
• Reverend Fantastic's Glass-Bottomed School For Girls.
• Bud's church clothes being stolen by a pack of wild dogs.
• When the Church took away Bud's usher jacket, he turns into Golem.

High School Football

• El Coyote saving Bud from falling to his death with the help of the illegal immigrants he's smuggling into Mexifornia.
  El Coyote: You're most valuable to me alive. (kisses Bud) Viva Coyote. (El Coyote leaves)
  Bud: One day, I'm gonna catch that guy then I'll be the one kissing him triumphantly.
• Bud taking Duke to his home.
  Duke: Is jail?
  Bud: No, this home is only a prison for me.
• Sanford moving into a doghouse in the backyard and sleeping on the roof of it like Snoopy from the Peanuts cartoons. Later, he's seen flying the doghouse like Snoopy does when he pretends he's fighting The Red Baron.
• Ernesto dancing around Bud while wearing just his daisy dukes and boots while singing his version of "La Bamba".
  Sanford: Hey, mom, dad's gay.
  Janice: (off-screen) I know, dear.
• The reason Bud's team wins at the end? Drug Lord Barracuda shows up and has his goons break the legs of all the opposing players, leading to a win by forfeit.
• When Pablo Barracuda sends a death threat to the news (using one of his rivals as a puppet—literally), the anchorman jumps out the back window and suddenly realizes that the backdrop is fake.
• J.C tries to expose Duke being an illegal immigrant being exploited by Bud by going to the press - unfortunately, they're just as obsessed with football as the rest of the town.
  Reporter: Let's see the Internet throw someone off a bridge!
  • Becky patching up J.C afterwards.
  Becky: I can't believe they hit you! Usually other guys apply girl rules to you!

Groundhog Day

• Bud trying to jump off a bridge to escape his wife wanting to have sex with him — only to learn that she hooked a rope to the back of him and now he's hanging inches off the ground while Pepito and his friends beat Bud like a piñata and take the candy he had in his pocket.
  Bud (as the kids take his candy away): Hey, I earned that from a stranger in a van!
• Donovan Cobb's new album for white couples to make love to: Honkies Be Boinkin', which is just marching band music with a Barry White-style voice crooning over it.
• Bud claims he can't be a minority, because he still doesn't have any rythm, only to bust out some impressive dance moves.
  Bud: Oh no! It's true!
• The "Caucasian Reservation" J.C organizes for the white population of Mexafornia after hispanics officially becomes the new majority in the U.S. All the basketball hoops are now 5 feet off the ground and there's no jumping allowed and all water is bottled.
• Ernesto's father talking about how now they're just waiting for the Puerto Rican New York population to become the majority there.
• The neighbor of unknown origin who eats a passing butterfly.

J.C. Strikes

• J.C.'s dream of Becky leaving him for Mexifornia's new governor David Ortega, being picked for a government program that kills those who don't have jobs, and Becky and David having sex on J.C.'s corpse.
• When J.C worriedly asks Ernesto is the term "backbreaking labor" is just an expression, Ernesto greets a hunched over, elderly-looking member of his landscaping crew, and congratulates him on his 19th birthday.
• This exchange:
  George: A.
  Bud: A.
  George: Spirit.
  Bud: Spirit.
  George: Animal.
  Bud: What?

Drug Lord

• When Bud starts speaking Angrish, George comes up and asks if Bud was a windtalker. Shortly after, a huge gust of wind carries Bud away.
• After Bud talk about how much is house sucks, the house gets up, tosses him out and walks off mad.
  Sanford: What's happening? Why are dad and house fighting?
• When Bud meets Pablo Barracuda, Pablo is petting a tiger that's petting a ferret.

Santa Ana Winds

• Sanford hopped up on the Huevos energy drink, especially when he breaks into the tiger cage at the zoo.
  Sanford: I'm gonna sell your wangs to the Chinese!
• The ridiculous plot about Ernesto fighting a demon leaf that has apparently plagued other landscape crews before him.
• Unable to sleep after drinking Huevos, Sanford starts writing movie scripts, and becomes a prolific writer of crappy sequels. After just a few days on the job, he's awarded the Kennedy Center Honors.
  Becky: Wow!
  Sanford: Don't get excited, it's the Jamie Kennedy Center Honors. It's held at a recently closed Burger King.
• Sanford fighting fighting a group of Jewish screenwriters who wants him to stop writing terrible movie sequels. Since he's still hopped up on Huevos, he takes them to the cleaners.
  Sanford: Take that, you Amish dicks!
• When Bryce is flown in the sky he flies into a cloud and then HE shatters like glass.
• The fact that in Mexico, the judges are all actual chickens.
• Bud befriending his Mexican doppleganger.
  Mexican Bud: Senor, please! I have a family back home! And I want to get as far away from them as possible!

Heart Attack

• Bud once again trying to catch El Coyote and the illegal immigrants he's smuggling over the border. This time, El Coyote has set up a monorail system and Bud tries to chop down one of the supports. El Coyote tells Bud that the support was actually holding the ground, causing Bud to fall into Hell — and the Devil to tell Bud that he's not due for another 15 years.
• Gert complaining about being served salad for dinner.
  Gert: I hate you, salad! I'd throw tomatoes at you but that would just make you a bigger salad!
• Sanford having a heart attack at the end, and Bud telling the family to just let him die.
• Bud talking about what he learned in the episode, which is actually what Ernesto learned from his b-plot about Pepito having ADHD.
• Steve's wife's nose falling off and him putting a carrot in the hole to replace it.
  Steve: Damnit, now you gotta be a snowman!
• Gert's picture of her heart attack on the news.

Wildfire

• When J.C. tells Becky that they ran out of heroin, she yells "BECKY MAD!" and chucks J.C. through a wall.
• Gert can create fire with her mind at all it took was to give away her stupid soul.

La Fiesta Noche Show

• Bud gets invited to a banquet held in his honor, only to find out that its being held by various illegal immigrants who snuck past him and are now celebrating his incompetence, including the owner of the banquet hall who snuck the whole building across the border.
• Bryce complains about how the strip club can only afford lame knock-off music instead of licensed songs.
• The exchange when Bud comes back from the tv taping:
  Bud: I've never been so humilated, they made me look like a fool!
  * the camera pans out and shows that Bud is actually in Ernestos house*
  Maria: Bud, you're in the wrong house.
• Steve telling Bud to go out and chase off a bunch of vultures eating a boar carcass and then eat the carcass himself so they dont come back.
• "Jean Claude Van-Dammit!"
• After Palbo's beheads-man decapitates a guy, Pablo tells him no and the beheads-man ends rewinding time to before he cut off the man's head.
• The producer of La Fiesta Noche Show fighting with Lorne Michaels over having a crappy variety show that's been on the air for nearly 40 years.

American Doll

• Bud chasing El Coyote through ether (in an homage to a classic Bugs Bunny cartoon that had Bugs being chased by a mad scientist and the two go through a cloud of ether, which make them high) and the reveal that El Coyote is actually Bud's neighbor Ernesto.
• Pablo Barracuda's beheadsman throwing a tantrum in the American Doll store, and Pablo remarking that the store is corrupt.
  Barracuda: Now pick out a doll for the child hostages!
• Becky throwing a tantrum over the fact that Bud bought Gert an extremely expensive American Doll, while she had to settle for a doll made out of discarded tampons (named Tampaxina) when she was a kid.
• After Janice takes a job as Ernesto's housekeeper to help pay for their credit card bill, Bud tries to get her fired because he can't stand his wife working for a Mexican. He ends up taking a huge poop in their bathroom after eating a jar of brown, spicy mustard.
  Bud: Hah, this guy has books on a shelf instead of propping up a table! What an idiot!
• The ridiculous dumb storylines the American Doll company keeps coming up with and emailing to doll owners to get them to keep paying, including telling Gert her doll has to be on life support for 500 dollars!
• After Gert realizes what a scam the American Dolls are and tells the other kids on the playground, the company executives show up to threaten her and the girls manage to defeat them by using their imaginations.
• Becky falling through the floor of her room and discovering that the Buckwald house was built on top of The Cleveland Show's old set.
• Peter Griffin making a cameo.
  Peter: *drives up the Buckwald house* Whoops, wrong show! *drives away*
• The news report about the first commercial spaceflight.
  Bud: Ahh, space, when Ralph Cramden predicted Alice would go to the moon, everyone laughed at him, but he made good.
  *Bud looks through a telescope and sees Alice Cramden with a black eye and a missing tooth in orbit around the moon*
• When Gert begs her father for an American Doll for her birthday, Janice tells her they can't afford it and they can't even afford the ransom for her brother Eddy.
  Janice: *opens a letter with a severed ear in it* Ohh, he's growing. This is bigger than the last one!
• Bud trying to find a discount American Doll online.
  Bud: I'll just search "doll", "little girl", "adult man" and "buying"
  Becky: Dad, there's a man from the FBI here to see you!
• Gert has Bud throw out one of her friends from her birthday party for getting her a book as a gift.
  Bud: Party's over for you, Reading Rainbow!
• In one shot of the house, you can see Sanford passed out in the back.

El Coyote

• The Couch Gag where Coyote slips Bud a drugged hamburger and he passes out.
  Bud: *while dreaming* A golden retriver cant play basketball!
  Immigrant: Is he dreaming he's in Air Bud?
  Coyote: He thinks he's the rival coach.
• When Agent Ericsson is yelling at Bud and the other border agents for their poor job performance, he points out a patrol truck just driving around a circle without a driver.
  Bud: Yeah, I have a mileage counter for my truck so I just put a rock on the gas pedal and those idiots in Washington dont know the difference. Good thing this is just a dream.
• Buds brilliant plan for catching El Coyote? A cardboard box held up with a stick with a taco as bait. Then the taco is stolen by a hawk. The best part? It actually WORKS, if only because Barracuda's men throw Coyote right into the box.
• Barracuda tries to get his status as U.S Nr 1 Most Wanted by cannibalizing Daniel Ratcliffe.
• Ernesto talking about the town he came from.
  Papi: Mexico sounds like a wonderful place, why did we even leave? Oh thats right, EVERYTHING!
• Ernestos first word.
  Baby!Ernesto: Hola, mami!
• Ernestos son, Luiz riffing on How I Met Your Mother when Ernesto talks about how he met Maria.
  Luiz: Wow, it didnt take you 9 seasons to tell a story, or a gay guy playing a ladies man
• Bud asking Sanford if he wants to go do something, only to see hanging from a tree with his head in a beehive.
  Bud: Oh, sorry to disturb you while you're doing science.
• The news mentioning that Bud had a brief stint playing Willie Lomen in a high school production of Death Of a Salesman where he spent the whole play facing the wrong way.