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    Season One 

Human Flesh

  • Bob is just not good with dates.
    Bob: Today's your birthday?
    Linda: *pan out to her holding balloons* Yes, Bob!
    Bob: *wearing tinted glasses* Today's my birthday?
    Linda: *pan out to Bob holding balloons* Yes, Bob!
    Bob: Your due date was today?
    Linda: *pan out to Linda and Bob wearing hospital gowns with Linda holding a baby* Yes, Bob!
    Bob: Oh...how did it go?
    Linda: How do you think?! It...it went very well.
    Bob: Boy or girl?
  • Bob explains to Gene that heavy children don't get molested. Also, the health inspector claiming that the restaurant will be shut down if their burgers show more than the 4 percent of human flesh allowed by the FDA.
  • The kids are stuck at the top of the Ferris wheel while their parents make out below them.
    Gene: You're a couple of sluts!
    Tina: I think it's nice.
    Louise: Can you get this thing moving?! I'm getting mentally scarred up here!

Crawl Space

  • Gene's pretty sure he knows who wrote The Chronicles of Narnia:
  • Gene playing the sounds of his grandparents having sex for his report on prohibition.
    • What sells it is the happy look on his face, even while being told to go to the Principal's office immediately.
  • Bob tells Linda she nags like her mother. Linda denies it while she herself is nagging.
    Bob: (In the wall) What was that, Nag-atha Christie?
    • Gets funnier later when he makes up even more of them, like "Spiro Nag-new", "Nag-ety Ann", and "Secretary of Nag-riculture". Linda can't help herself but chuckle when he gets to that last one.
  • Tina's dream of having a threesome with zombies devolves when she starts imagining they sound like her grandparents.
  • Bob's The Shining inspired delusions.
  • Grandpa's Maxim magazine.
  • Bob turning Louise's nightlight buddy into a Companion Cube due to his increasing isolation-induced madness. At the end of the episode, although free from the wall, Bob refuses to give it back to Louise.

Sacred Cow

  • Bob sneaking the cow into the apartment in the middle of the night, and then telling Linda she "won't even notice it's there". The cow then promptly urinates on the rug, creating a puddle so large Bob has to take a step back from it.
  • Bob pointing out that beef is made from steers, not cows, and that the "cow" the filmmakers brought is in fact male. And that they didn't milk it, no matter what they think.
    Randy: Then, uh, how do you explain that udder?
    Tina: Whoa, what an udder...
    Bob: Get away from there, Tina.
  • Randy advocating for the cow by gluing a wig to its head and leaving it outside in the freezing rain.
  • Bob discovering that cattle can't walk down stairs.
  • The film crew and the Belchers finding out who kidnapped the cow: an elderly couple who make their intentions clear while doing an Evil Laugh on camera. Both groups are disturbed.
    • The irony that the film crew didn't want to make the couple's life miserable since they ran a made-up cheap zoo with clearly abused animals and still want to make a big deal out of Bob trying to supposedly kill the cow for the 100,000th burger.
  • Bob's attempts to keep the cow safe, culminating with the cow barely being run over by the Animal Control officer's car. The car manages to stop in time but the cow gets a heart attack out of it and dies.
  • Bob's dream of making out with a cow, and his family watching him lying on the street, wiggling his tongue around.

Sexy Dance Fighting

  • Louise gets the Capoeira teacher to come cheer up Tina after the bowel incident and tells Bob "You're welcome". Then she puts a knife in his hand and says "You're still welcome".
    • In the same episode, Louise tells Bob she is going to try and get Tina to come back. She proceeds to shout that Tina is dead to her and should never come back.
      Bob: Thanks.
    • The fact that Louise spends the rest of the episode post-bowel incident trying to get Bob to kill Jairo for revenge.
  • Linda refers to Tina's Capoeira demonstration as a "Karate concert".

Hamburger Dinner Theatre

  • Linda refusing Bob sex, in song.
  • The Belchers are asked to tone down the gore in their show. In response, they put up a banner saying "2 shows left! Now w/ 20% less gore!"

Sheesh! Cab, Bob

  • Gene's Internet Adventure.
    Bob: Guess who learned a lot about transvestites last night?
    Gene: I was only on that website for like two seconds!
    Bob: What? No, I was talking about me. I picked up a group of transvestite hookers who showed me a side of this town I never knew existed. And Gene, you're banned from the computer for two days.
    Gene: After what I saw, I'm fine with that.
  • Bob might have been a pimp for a trio of transvestite prostitutes.
    Louise: You're gonna need a bigger hat.
  • Bob on crack. The whole scene is just Bob stumbling around the kitchen as walking Mood Whiplash, and it's fantastic.
    Bob: I may or may not have tried crack.
  • Linda's less upset about the fact that Bob tried crack and more upset that he did it without her.
  • Bob shaving off the 'stache.
    Linda: Awww, Bob, you made yourself ugly to save Tina's party!
  • Jimmy Pesto's nickname at the Desire Dungeon: "Baby Num Num". He also has a diaper fetish.

Bed and Breakfast

  • When Linda turns the house into a bed and breakfast, the entire family has to share a bed. Tina welcomes Louise to the bed, saying, "This is where I thrash", and proceeds to do so. Apparently she spends every night flopping in place like a fish.
  • Javid remarking on how crazy Linda is behaving... then talking to his beetles.
  • Teddy beating up the Fuzzy Buddies that Louise summoned on him to flush him out of her room.
    • After getting over it, he intends to go out with the one in the owl costume, believing that it's a woman. Turns out it's not, but he perks up after hearing the fox was a girl...but she already left.

Art Crawl

  • Linda's "Pink Elephants On Parade"-esque dream sequence. Complete with music.
  • Bob forcing Edith and Harold out of the restaurant with the pictures of anuses.
  • Louise trying to cut Gene's ear off a la Van Gogh so he could be a better artist. What really sells it is how enthusiastic Gene is about it.
    Louise: If you're going artsy, then you're going all the way. Someone's cutting off an ear.
    Tina: I need both of mine. I wear glasses.
    Louise (to Gene): Welp, what's your excuse?
    Gene: Don't got one. Have at it!
  • "And I can only paint THE TRUTH! The robots are coming!"
  • Tina painting Dr. Yap in the nude. She took some artistic license.
  • Louise and Harold's shouting match.
  • Edith refusing to let Harold drink water from Bob's even though he's choking.
  • "Bob, you are in direct violation of my wife."
  • Gale's flashback depicting how she got her inspiration for the anus paintings, complete with Celine Dion-esque music as she looks at a gopher's butt.

Spaghetti Western and Meatballs

  • After performing a skit about talking things out rather than using violence, Tina tells her costar Jocelyn that if she ever really gossiped about her...
    Tina: I will punch you...and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again...
    Jocelyn: (slowly backing away) Oh, my God. What a psycho.
  • Tina attacking Jocelyn when she sees her gossiping to Jimmy Jr.
    Tina: I warned you, skank!
  • The entire scene in Mr. Frond's office after Louise and Gene's food fight, including Frond using his A.B.S. by pinching Bob in the eye, and Louise throwing a doll at Gene.
    Mr. Frond: HEY! Don't throw Repressed Memory Emily!
    Louise: She won't remember this.
  • "BANJO! He's strummin' for you..."
  • Gene attempting to deal with a school enemy (a kid Gene is angry at for stealing his punchlines), by imitating the western movie Banjo.
  • Choo-Choo gets fed up with Gene and challenges him to a fight after school, including dramatically taking his shirt off and shouting "This train is going off the rails! Choo-choo!" Gene then realizes he was way off in his assumption that Choo-Choo's nickname came from being a noisy chewer.

Burger Wars

  • The Belchers have to resort to a "group Heimlich" when Fischoder nearly chokes on a burger.
  • There's a dramatic zoom when Fischoder demands Bob pay his rent by Friday... then another one when Tina offers to wrap up the remains of his burger, and a third one when Gene offers some fries.
  • After a montage of Bob and Jimmy Pesto spying on each other, Bob insists he could care less about what Jimmy is up to... while watching Jimmy through a telescope. Linda tells Bob he needs to grow up... then asks to peep through the telescope.
  • Bob ends up in a brawl with Jimmy Pesto, which Mr. Fischoder takes bets on. When the two tire themselves out and it ends in a draw, Tina actually wins some money because she was the only one to bet on the fight ending with "both of them hugging each other".
  • Jimmy Pesto tries to interrupt Fischoder's rant about how delicious Bob's cooking is, and Fischoder keeps shushing him.

Weekend At Mort's

  • Bob getting drunk at Jimmy Pesto's and falling asleep in a casket in Mort's funeral home. When the kids hear him snoring, they think he's a zombie and try to incinerate it in the crematorium.
    Louise: It's trying to sweet talk us!
    Tina: That's classic zombie.
  • Bob constantly referring to Mort's date as "lady mortician"
  • After Linda refers to their stay at Mort's funeral home as a "haunted honeymoon," the kids start booing and waving their arms around like ghosts. After a minute, Mort starts making spooky hand motions in the background.
  • Jimmy Pesto's Pastafarian night.
    Bob: What? Lin, our song is not "Ziti Tonight".
  • Gene tries to get out of going into the basement by saying that he forgot who sang "Funkytown" and needs to look it up. Later, he suddenly blurts out that he just remembered the song was done by Lipps, Inc.

Lobsterfest

  • Gene reading Tina's "mating list" after Linda tells them that they might have to repopulate the Earth.
    Gene: Gay, gay, mythical creature... gay mythical creature...
  • Drunken Bob during the "Bobsterfest" party is a source of much hilarity, like asking the crowd to crowd-surf him away from an angry Linda.
  • The flashback of Bob acting as Hugo's wingman during the party, including showing crude diagrams of how to have sexy with a woman.
  • Despite suffering a violent allergic reaction to shellfish, Gene insists that he's always looked like this to his dad. When Bob takes a look at one of Gene's old baby pictures, he's surprised to see the puffy-faced newborn Gene does look a lot like Gene's current condition.
  • When Gretchen breaks up with him, Hugo is in such a bad mood he tries to shut down Bob's restaurant over a broken spindle.

Torpedo

  • Gene trying to remember the name of the restaurant he works at when being given an opportunity to give free advertising. And Bob going mental over it in the background.
    Bob: You live above the restaurant! You work there every day!
    Gene: I don't call you Bob, I call you Dad! I think of it as Dad's Burgers!
  • Tina's attempts to get cozy with the entire baseball team (as only Tina can).
    Tina: My brother won again! (butt slap) Guys, take off your shirts!
  • Tina stealing a jock strap from the Wonderdogs' locker room.

    Season Two 

The Belchies

  • Gene, as he licks the old machinery in the taffy factory: "I can taste The Korean War!"
    • Followed by Andy and Ollie, who are licking the same taffy puller: "I taste rust!" "I taste Andy's spit!"
  • "Ironic detachment is great, nothing means anything!"
  • Taff. Just, just Taff. There's nothing more heartwarming than a young girl bonding with a man made out of taffy with a disturbing face.
  • "If boys had uteruses they'd be called 'duderuses'."
  • "I'd like to thank this brick and Questlove."
  • Linda calling Bob's penis "Girl".
    Bob: Wait, wha, why is it a girl?
    Linda: Because it's a pretty brunette, like Catherine Zeta-Jones.
  • Taff sticking to Bob's erection.
  • Linda saying she's gonna sleep like a baby. A horny baby.
  • Bob's horrible luck with the sex dice.
    Bob: I got "lick" and "foot" again.
    Linda: Come on, lick it like you like it!
    Bob: No more lick foot.
    Linda: This little piggy goes all the way home.
    • Linda rolls "hug" and "chair." Bob winds up sitting on her lap, and it's not so much sexy as detrimental to Linda's well-being.
    Linda (struggling): Get off! GET OFF!
  • After Teddy sees Taff stuck on Bob's body.
    Teddy: Ha ha! Your sex night turned out weird, eh, Bobby? *Bob narrows his eyes, Teddy quiets down*
  • Linda asks an injured Bob: "How's your penis?" Doubly funny in that she asks him in front of the kids.
    Gene: Mine's a nightmare, if anyone's wondering!
  • The Sleeping Dummies the kids set up so they can sneak out of the house; Louise used a convincingly-shaped pile of clothes and an inflated balloon, Gene leaves a full bag of trash (causing Linda to exclaim "I knew he didn't take out the garbage!"), and Tina leaves a note simply reading 'Tina'.

Bob Day Afternoon

  • Louise: IT'S MY DADDY!! MY DADDY'S IN THERE!
  • Gene's Imagine Spot about attending a robot college.
  • When Bob is first getting ready to deliver the burgers to the bank, his entire family starts clinging to him and screaming for him not to go. Bob and Sargent Bosco are both getting increasingly pissed off, while his family gets increasingly panicked, until Bosco screams through the bull horn, shutting everyone up. Then Linda gets in the last word:
    Linda: Come back safe, Bobby. Don't leave me with these freakin' kids.
  • Later when everyone is calling over the bank at once (Louise, Linda, and Gene, in that order), Bosco incredulously demands to know how many extensions the family actually has. Then:
    Bosco: How many extensions do you people have!?
    Tina: Four.

Synchronized Swimming

  • Bob proves his point that Teddy will eat anything by tricking him into eating a piece of sponge.
    Teddy: Don't feed a guy a sponge, Bobby. Don't feed a guy a sponge!
  • When the kids are horsing around in the pool instead of listening to Linda...
    Tina: Marco.
    Gene: Wahlberg.
  • When Linda finally gets the hint that the kids don't actually care about their "independent study"...
    Andy: Louise said this class was a joke.
    Ollie: Yeah, say something funny.
    Linda: Louise, Tina, Gene, get over here now.
    Ollie: Ah... good one.
  • The entire last sequence, but especially Louise's attempts to get out of the titular demonstration... culminating in Louise making a "doody" in the water.
    Bob: You did a Caddyshack? Nice move.
    Louise: What's a "Caddyshack?"
    • And to top it off, Louise named it Jezebel.
      Linda: Aw, my little grandoodie.
  • "Oh hey, Tom Selleck."

Burgerboss

  • Bob's painkiller freak-out while playing "Burgerboss".
    Bob: CHICKEN LEEEEG!
  • Gene's line, "That's the song I want to lose it to!" (in reference to the "Burgerboss" video game music).
  • Bob's blatant disinterest in Darryl's bullying problems
  • Bob high on painkillers. Full stop.
  • When the kids attend a birthday party uninvited.
    Mother: Uh, how do you know Kevin again?
    Louise: Church.
    Tina: Soccer.
    Gene: Desert Storm.
  • Bob and Jimmy Pesto hosing down their sidewalks turns into a makeshift "pissing contest".
    • Linda refering to said pissing contests as "peeing races", which accidentally leads to a bit of karma for Jimmy Pesto when it loses him a shot at joining the yacht club.
  • Linda and her porcelain babies.

Food Truckin'

  • When Gene recognizes Randy as "the documentarian who hates our dad and glues wigs on cows", Tina wonders if he's talking about Werner Herzog.
  • This exchange:
    Tina: I don't want to die a virgin!
    Randy: Me neither!
    Tina: Wait, that gives me an idea...
    Bob: No! No!
  • The "Oil Spill" song. It's really about the singer's vagina. Bob and Gene weren't kidding when they said she wasn't very subtle.
    "Oh, it's hot and wet and slick, and it's makin' everybody sick!
    Oil spill! Oil spiiiiiill!
    It's on my fish, and it's on my crabs! It's oh so close, but you can't grab!
    Oil spill! Oil spiiiiiill!"
  • The spot-on skewering of hipster culture when Tina goes to give out burgers to concertgoers.
    Hipster 1: Nice glasses.
    Tina: Thanks. I need them to see.
    Hipster 1: Ha! Is this organic?
    Tina: Sure.
    Hipster 2: Is it grass-fed?
    Tina: Yes.
    Hipster 3: Cruelty-free?
    Tina: Yep.
    Hipster 4: Is it bison?!
    Tina: That one is...
    Hipster 5: Do these pair well with an IPA?
    Tina: It goes well with all letters. IPA, CSI, PTA, IRS, HMO, OMG...
  • This exchange:
    Gene: It's not a lie if you lie to vegetarians! You taught us that!
    Bob: I...I did teach you that...
  • The Belchers and Randy try to flip the truck right side up, but it tips too far on the edge of a hill and rolls down it, into the path of a drum circle.
  • Randy and the Belchers try to play the "quiet game" when they're forced to walk back to town.

Dr. Yap

  • Gene and Lousie's war over the jawbreaker
    • Hug of War: "I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!"
    • One of their contests involves listening to Teddy's rambling anecdote about realizing his bath towels were slightly mismatched.
    • "Rubby rub ear ear!"
  • Dr. Yap: [In an autotune voice] Children lead to intercourse.
  • Everything involving The Prince of Persuasia, especially his list of tips over the credits, with highlights including "Push her in a lake!", "Be the tallest guy in the room and brag about how long your buttcrack is" and "Never make her pancakes. Make her make you pancakes, in the middle of the night!"
    • Dr. Yap putting the "Trap your princess" step from the initial three step program into action.
  • The entire sequence of Doctor Yap torturing Bob by pulling his tooth out with no anesthetic out of jealousy, mostly Bob's panic and confusion.
    Bob [To Doctor Yap] Why did you just kiss me?
  • "Let's all kiss our sisters!"
  • While Dr. Yap is crying, he makes an extremely high-pitched squeal.

Moody Foodie

Bad Tina

  • When Bob agrees to go to see "CAKE" with Linda, he caps it off with "Okay, fine, but I'm gonna complain the whole time."
  • The Pesto twins find tampons in their lunch after Gene and Louise switched Andy's bag with Tammy's.
    Andy: Cool, Mom packed tampons for lunch.
    Ollie: Ooh, share!
    • They also freak out and mistake Tina and Tammy for "bathroom clowns" after Tina gets a makeover.
  • The ending has Tina telling "an erotic friend fiction story" to the school, about how butt-touching was banned and that she managed to revoke it by going around touching people's butts, and then they start touching each other's butts.
    • This is followed by her new friend-turned-enemy Tammy trying to make fun of Tina, until Tammy farts and Louise turns it around. And then Tammy can't stop farting as everyone laughs at her. She runs out of the cafeteria crying and farting, and some of them hurt.

Beefsquatch

  • In a flashblack, Gene teaches his classmate Peter to dance, or tries to at least:
    Gene: What kind of God would give you those legs AND NO RHYTHM?!
  • The three previous times Gene declared, "THIS IS ME NOW!" (as a cowboy, as a David Bowie-style glam rocker, and a Buddhist monk).
  • When Bob takes the kids to the TV station, anchorwoman Pam and Louise have this exchange:
    Pam: And what do we have here? Are you a little bunny?
    Louise: [Sniffs] I smell fear on you.
    Pam: I don't like this one.
  • The "Beefsquatch" chanting.
    Hugo: (flossing) Beefsquatch!
    Gretchen: (painting her toenails) Beefsquatch!
    Mr. Fischoeder: More scotch!
  • Linda's failed attempts at stopping the broadcast by "swearing". And when that fails, she just flashes the camera. "A-boobity-boobity-boobity-boo!"
    • And while the town is stunned by what's happening, Hugo is frantically trying to DVR it before they cut off the broadcast.
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    Season Three 
Ear-sy Rider
  • When Louise sees Mudflap open a beer bottle with her boobs:
    Louise: Now I want them.
  • Louise's screaming at Logan at the shoe shop he goes. There are three female clerks talking to him, and one of the shoes Louise tosses is avoided by Logan, but it hits a clerk in the face and knocks her down in the background. This is all pretty silent as she keeps screaming to Logan.
  • When Mudflap is giving birth, Linda has a conversation with Logan's mother about painful child birth.
    [Linda points at Tina and Louise]
    Linda: These two? Piece of cake.
    [Linda points at Gene]
    Linda: That one? The whole cake.
  • "It was spring. I know because the azaleas were in bloom. The azaleas are beautiful in Macon. Second only to their crank, that sweet Macon crank."
  • Louise's Laughing Mad turns into a Failed Attempt at Drama moment when she thinks her bunny ears were destroyed.
    Louise: REVENGE!!!!
    Dump guy: Is this it?
    Louise: No.
    Dump guy: Are these it?
    Louise: It's pink with ears. Its a hat.
  • The Belcher kids talk about cooking meth.
  • Critter explaining how he got his badges.
  • The Badass Boast in the bar.
    Mudflap: The One-Eyed Snakes don't bluff!
    Louise: Neither do the Belcher kids!
    Tina: Except when we do.
    Gene: Yeah, let's keep shouting stuff! Screw inside voices!

Full Bars

  • "Run! It's Helen Hunt!" Gene when the HELL Hunt shows up.
  • Louise's plan to put hot sauce in the teen boys' underwear backfires when she finds out only one of them was actually wearing underwear. Cue one of their pursuers suddenly collapsing in pain, clutching his crotch.

Bob Fires the Kids

  • A couple sends back a box of Bob's childhood toys. They thought it was vibrators.
    Tina: If you think about it, any box could contain vibrators.
  • Mickey the Bank Robber's calypso singing as he's digging a hole to the bank.
  • Mickey thinking that double jeopardy protects him from getting arrested for robbing the same bank twice.
  • Cooper's story about how he met Beverly, ending with describing her as "a fairy queen pooping under a tree."
  • Bob literally pushing the kids out of the shop and trying to make them have fun.
  • Bob mistakes a groaning refrigerator for Tina.
    • "I wonder what Gene's doing. Probably farting."

Mutiny on the Windbreaker

  • Gene using the loudspeaker to gain the passengers' attention.
    "ABANDON SHIP!!!...for Bob's Burgers!"
  • The awkward look on the family's faces when the Captain asks if the restaurant is seamen-friendly.
  • Linda, Tina and Gene imagining getting drawn in the nude, while Louise imagines herself laughing at the cruise ship as it sinks.
  • Louise getting insanely long, Flo-Jo-style finger- and toenails.
  • The head chef's French timer, which serves as a Scare Chord.

An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal

  • Bob's My Neighbor Totoro inspired dream while under the influence of absinthe.
  • Mr Fischoeder rewarding the kids for the most convincing performances pretending to be his children with arcade tickets. Unsurprisingly, Louise knocks it out of the park.
    Louise: The only prize we need is your love, father.
    • Tina, on the other hand, not so much.
      Tina: Hey dad, remember when we did that thing that was fun and memorable?
  • Bobs hilariously overenthusiastic selection process for picking out a turkey for dinner, including holding it aloft yelling "YOU ARE THE ONE!!!"
    Gene: That turkey is our mom now.
  • Linda's stilted attempts at acting as Fischoeder's wife.
    Mr Fischoeder: This is my lovely wife, Linda.
    Linda: AND I'M LINDA!

The Deepening

  • Bob's attempts at stopping the shark make it stronger.
    Bob: Okay, we made the shark faster/okay, we gave the shark spikes/OKAY, NOW THE SHARK IS ELECTRIFIED!!
  • Bob, Teddy and Mort making their bellies talk when they're supposed to be stopping the shark.
  • Teddy gets swallowed by the shark yet he has time to talk about "The Deepening's" original ending.
    The shark was supposed to die of cancer but it tested bad. It didn't have enough "pow".
  • Bob literally grasping at straws.
  • The close up of the shark's eye after its stopped.
    Louise: I've had dreams like this.
  • Tina's empathy for the shark in "The Deepening" results in a lot of great moments, but this is perhaps the best one:
    Tina: It's confused, it doesn't know why we want to kill it. It just wants to go home.
    Bob: Tina, it's just a machine. It's dumber than our toaster.
    Tina: Our toaster is also confused. It doesn't know why we put bagels in it.
  • Bob finally killing the shark by jamming its internal mechanics with soft serve ice cream.
  • Bob finding out that The Deepening was a bit more fanservicy than he remembered.
    Bob: Jeez, this movie is like, 90% nude carwash.

Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks

  • Of particular note is the opening scene where Tina, driving for the first time, manages to be so scared out of her wits that she rams the only car on the lot, with Bob shitting bricks the entire time. Essentially, there are few characters on TV that are as funny when they're uncomfortable/awkward as Tina.
    • "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
    Bob: TINA! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! TURN AWAY OR STOP!
  • "Can you believe he was poisoned with a shovel?"
  • Linda's "Diarrhea" song. Can be seen here though a better quality fuller length version would be nice.
  • Any time Tina freaks out and goes "Ah! Ah! Ah!..."
  • Tina's fantasy sequence about going to "Hell-Jail".
    Tina: What's for lunch today?
    Lunchlady: Your LIES!
  • Bobs reaction to the insurance agent trying to get them into his insurance fraud scheme.
    Bob: You are the worst insurance agent.
  • The agent playing along when Bob and Linda fakes the kids dying in a flooding accident, only to reveal he knew the whole time.
    Agent: Bob, you're a terrible actor. You closed the door, you didn't even try to revive your kids.
  • Tina's "Everything is Okay" face.

The Unbearable Like-Likeness Of Gene

  • The break up practice scene that culminates in all of the children screaming.
  • Tina and Louise screaming while they run down the school hallway, trying to stop Courtney Wheeler from proclaiming her crush on Gene.
    • What's important to note about that scene is that it's one of the few times Tina and Louise have ever been on the same page about something.
    • The other important note about that scene is that this is the only time in the series where we see Tina actually moving her arms to run like a normal person, when every other time she holds them straight down at her side, in an even more awkward variant of Airplane Arms.
  • The "congenital" conversation.
    Gene: We've gotta get our congenitals to class!
  • Tina's flashback to hearing Courtney talking on the phone in the school bathroom and getting confused about whether Courtney was talking to her.
  • Linda chewing on Tina's hair.
  • The Grease parody montage.
  • Tina and Louise (and later Bob as well) inhaling helium throughout the later part of the episode.
  • When Courtney interrupts Gene's performance and tries to get the room to join in...
    Courtney: All the ladies in the house now: silent love!
    Tina: (on helium, weakly) Silent love?
  • All of Courtney's party guests still glaring at Gene in the hospital waiting room.
  • The prominence of Lenny DeStephano in the episode.
  • The fact that David Wain AKA The Warden is the girl that falls for Gene makes the whole episode that much funnier.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins

  • Tina, sympathizing with a guy who thinks he used to be a mannequin.
    Tina: So one day you woke up and discovered you were anatomically correct? I just went through that.
  • The crowd outside Bob's restaurant thinks that the argument over Nadia the mannequin is All Part of the Show.
  • Thanks to spending all their extra Christmas present money helping Chet buy back Nadia, the Belchers have to make do with presents made from some old junk from Uncle Ernie's old store they found in the storage unit. Fortunately the kids are impressed enough by their gifts; Gene gets an old "EXIT" sign, Tina a shoe-sizer, and Louise a security-tag remover ("Next year, Christmas is on me!")

Mother Daughter Laser Razor

  • The flashback of Linda changing baby Louise and trying get her to say "Mama". Being this is Louise, you can guess how it goes.
  • Linda and Louise singing over each other when they reverse parent/child roles for a role play.
  • The guy running the Mom/Daughter class ends up locking Louise and her teenage nemesis Logan in the Womb Room, which has Freaky Friday (1976) playing on a loop.
  • Subsequently, Louise makes good on her threat to gut-punch Logan when he gets caught up in the movie and won't stop talking about it.
  • The episode ends with an epic Mothers vs. Children laser tag fight, made especially funny with how serious Linda and Louise take it.

Nude Beach

Broadcast Wagstaff School News

  • Andy and Ollie struggling to fit into one shirt to become Siamese twins.
    • "Back to you, Andy!" "Back to you, Ollie!" Repeat ad nauseum.
  • The kids audition for Wagstaff School News in front of a green screen, which happens to be the exact same color of the jacket that Tina wears, which causes her to appear as a floating head on the television monitors.
    Andy: Aah! Paranormal activity!
  • Gene realizes he's gonna grow up to look like Bob, so he embraces it and spends the rest of the episode doing a dead on impression of his dad.
    • Any other kid calling their parents by their first name would be seen as extremely rude. But Bob!Gene saying "Lin! Get in here!" is hysterical. And that Linda enthusiastically sees the humor in it and plays along adds an extra layer of funny and adorable.
    • The Call-Back to the first episode where Bob!Gene tells his family "I love you, but you're all terrible," which everyone but Bob agrees is something Bob would say.
    • After Bob!Gene tells Tina that he loves her and will support his daughter whatever she decides to do:
    Tina: He's good.
    Louise: That kid just fathered the crap out of you.
    Bob: He did... okay. A little preachy.
    • Bob gets out of hearing one of Teddy's boring, long-winded stories by actually getting Bob!Gene to stand in for him, while he goes back into the kitchen.
    Teddy: I'm not sure I appreciate being foisted off like this, Bob! [Beat] So anyway, I end up in the ethnic food section...
    • Bob!Gene getting hit in the crotch with a dodgeball:
    Gene: It's okay, I've had my kids.
    • Louise taking pride in making Bob!Gene's arm hair "look so sad." It somehow makes way too much sense to not be hilarious.
  • Tina and Louise in the principal's office:
    Tina: Louise, why are you here? Tammy didn't frame you.
    Louise: Unrelated charge.
    cut to Louise putting on a Hannibal Lecter mask and inserting herself into Mr. Frond's desk
    Louise: And now we wait...
    • This exchange when Bob, Linda and Gene arrive at the principal's office.
      Linda: Oh, don't say that, Gene!
      Bob: Yes, he should say that.

My Fuzzy Valentine

  • There's a whole montage of Linda being politely unimpressed by Bob's half-assed Valentine's Day gifts.
  • Gene is unimpressed by Bob's recollection of his first date with Linda: "You're the worst storyteller! Where's Maya Angelou when you need him?"
  • Sergeant Bosco gets the speed-daters to confess to their darkest and most embarrassing secrets, like Mort admitting that his hair is a Dodgy Toupee and Teddy confessing he can't sleep properly unless he's wearing a Santa costume.

Lindapendent Woman

  • Linda and Bob apologize to each other over the grocery store's intercom, when they're just a few aisles away.
  • Louise's earlier prank with the balloons and the shrimp cocktail finally pays off.
    Louise: I made it rain shrimp!

O.T.: The Outside Toilet

  • The fact that Jon Hamm still sounds smoldering as a electronic toilet is hilarious within itself.
  • The kids succeed in getting the toilet to repeat things back to them, but when Tina tries to get the toilet to say it loves her, it simply responds "No."
  • When Max Flush gives the kids the "I'm watching you" gesture, Gene screams thinking he wants to switch eyes with him.
  • The beginning where Gene drops a pretend sack of flour and hysterically begs Mr. Frond for another one.
    Mr. Frond: "I don't know, Gene! Can you have another child?! Well, yes you can, so, here you go.
    • Even better, Gene immediately slips on the first bag and breaks the second bag.
  • Teddy insisting Bob's name is 'Bob Burger'.
  • Bob and Linda get hammered on free drinks at a fancy restaurant, and end up struggling to pronounce "taxi". Then on the taxi ride home they realize they were so busy getting drunk they forgot to actually order dinner.
  • Gene planting himself on the toilet to keep Max from taking it, and the exchange that follows.
    Bob: If you think you're gonna get Gene off the toilet before he's ready, I've got some bad news for you.
    Tina: He missed his birthday party once.
    Linda: We had a clown.
    Louise: We had to send him in there.
  • When Gene tells the toilet goodbye by saying "I love you", the toilet registers it as "vomit", causing Gene repeat "I love you" in a frustrated manner.

Topsy

  • Linda unveiling her counterpart to Bob's "Spice-eps", the chest-mounted "Spice Rack". She was at her hammiest.
  • After nearly getting electrocuted, Tina has an Imagine Spot in which Topsy the elephant encourages Tina to go through with the re-enactment... and to do something with her hair.
  • After learning Jeremy sold her out to Dinkler, this exchange occurs.
    Louise: Oh, you son of a snitch! What's your favorite movie, Squeal Magnolias?
    Jeremy: War Horse.

Two For Tina

  • The rivalry between Josh and Jimmy Jr.
  • Tina suggesting a three-some type agreement.
    Tina: Let's put the "try" in "triangle."
    Jimmy Jr.: Umm, no, thanks. Talk to you later, ok?
    Josh: Tonight was really fun. Until all of this. This was a mess.

It Snakes a Village

  • Linda's reaction to finding out that her parents are staying in a swinger's community:
    Bob: Linda, your parents are adults, it's none of our business. I'm telling everyone when we get home.
  • When the family is leaving:
    Louise: Can we come back when they're not cleaning the pool?
    Bob: No.
    Linda: Absolutely not.
    Bob: Never.
    Linda: Not a chance in hell.
    • And from the same scene:
    Gene: They need to learn how to have a party without popping so many balloons!
    Tina: Yeah, and without having loud sex.
  • The "dirty ducks" scene with elderly people jumping into the pool and throwing their swimsuits off.
  • After Gene saves Tina and Louise from a quicksand pit.
    Tina: Gene, you saved me, I owe you my life!
    Gene: No thanks. I've seen it, and I am not impressed.

Family Fracas

  • Louise's "pleeeease" going from precocious to demanding.
  • Tina's competitive side manifests
    Tina: Your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it.

The Kids Run the Restaurant

  • "The Belcher kids are running the restaurant because this time, It's Personal!"
  • The whole subplot with Gene's hastily thrown together girl group, the Cutie Patooties. Coupled with Gene's surprise that one of his singers actually has talent.
  • Zeke runs out a kid caught cheating by threatening him with a purple nurple.
  • Fischoeder's calm reaction to being sprayed by Bob's wound:
    Fischoeder: Could you point that in another direction?

Boyz 4 Now

  • When they arrive at the concert hall:
    Louise: [confused at the screaming Boyz 4 Now fangirls] THEY'RE JUST BOYS!
    Random Girl: Boys?! WHERE?! [throws up]
    Louise: Oh, come on!
  • Louise losing her mind over having a crush.
    Fangirl: Boo Boo's so cute!
    Louise: Cute?! He's the reason faces were invented, you idiot!
  • Louise bumps into a woman wearing a shirt with Boo Boo's face on it, then kisses the woman's chest, only to scream.
  • Louise tries to get backstage by pretending she's Brenda from The Closer.
  • When Gene is unprepared for a second theme in his table-scaping competition, he and his parents scramble to put something together out of things they can find in Linda's purse. The result? A menstruation-themed display full of Linda's tampons, pads, and strawberry jam squirted all over.
    Bob: Show her the tampon straw.
    Judge: I don't want to see the tampon straw.
    Linda: (to Bob) Someone's on the rag.

Carpe Museum

  • Gene had no idea there's such a thing as a boob fetish.
  • Regular-sized Rudy would rather suffer from his asthma attack than have Bob give him CPR.
    Bob: Uh, CPR. I know how to give CPR.
    Rudy: No, thank you.
    Bob: Uh, wh-why don't I just try it? And if you hate it, I'll stop.
    Rudy: No!
    Bob: Yeah, okay, you're right.
  • Henry and Tina spend the whole episode trying to prove that the other is the bigger dork.
  • Linda joins in with the workers on strike outside of the museum. Eventually she goes off on a tangent and the rather...strange chants she comes up with have nothing to do with what they are protesting about.
    Linda: SHAKE YOUR HIPS, WIGGLE YOUR BUTT! DROP YOUR PANTS, PICK 'EM BACK UP!
    Protester: No, I don't want to drop my pants.
    Linda: [disappointed] Whhyy?
    • Later, the workers can't stand Linda's chanting anymore and want her out. When she refused to leave ("Linda Belcher's here to stay, I don't work here anyway!"), one of them throws a wad of paper at her. They were about to chase her when Bob carrying Rudy and Louise run outside and Louise gets them to attack the security guards that were chasing them ("They'll do anything for a dollar!"). Though only two of the workers continue to chase Linda.
    Bob: Did you come to surprise us but then you get caught up in the chanting?
    Linda: Yep, did Louise get you in trouble with security?
    Bob: Yep, see you at home?
    Linda: Yep.

The Unnatural

  • "Hey batta batta hey batta batta, batta batta hey hey! HEY HEY BATTA BATTA HEY HEY HEY!!!"
  • Tina becomes addicted to espresso... and it quickly goes downhill from there.
    Tina: I think I can hear my hair growing. Especially the bangs. Hey, maybe that's why they call them bangs. Hey, keep it down.
    • Followed by her withdrawal when the machine goes missing. She snaps at Jimmy Jr.:
      Jimmy Jr.: I have a speech impediment.
      Tina: Well fix it!
    • And later she smashes Linda's porcelain babies with a napkin dispenser with no hesitation to get her to admit what she did with the espresso machine.
    • The episode ends with Tina drinking coffee straight out of the pot in the Sand Flea's lobby, even though the owner tells her it's a week old and he puts his cigarettes out in it. She does two spit takes and goes back to drinking it.
  • The "training camp" consists of various boys (including not only Gene but Regular-Sized Rudy and the Pesto twins) doing terrible at baseball while the "Deuce of Diamonds" encourages them.
  • The Belchers performing "Electric Slide".

    Season Four 
A River Runs Through Bob
  • Bob getting nausea and diarrhea from the fish he caught, and is forced to spend the whole hike constantly darting off into the woods. Also Linda's reaction when he can't cover it up anymore.
    Linda: Oh, okay. You didn't eat a raw trout that didn't make you poop and barf your way through the forest like some kind of disgusting Hansel and Gretel!
  • When Bob is trying to distract Linda from his being sick, he tells her to "look over there, there's a pelican, and Patrick Duffy!" (from the tv show Dallas) Even later when it has become obvious he was lying, Linda still believes Patrick Duffy was there, and screams out to him for help when they get lost in the woods.
  • Bob is disgusted when a desperate Linda eats ants and earthworms in order to stave off hunger.
  • "Kiiiiids, we're coming for you! Underwear flying through the air!"
  • Bob tries to steal and eat acorns from a squirrel's stash, only for the squirrel to call in some of his buddies. Bob freaks out and collapses from exhaustion, convinced he's about to suffer death by squirrel while the squirrels just crawl over him and take the acorns back.
  • Tina's "Thunder Girl" song during the end credits, thanks to her inability to stay on-key and reach high notes without her voice cracking. The dance routine helps too.

Fort Night

  • Louise's delusional/psychotic would-be best friend Millie, who spends the whole episode dressed in a bunny suit and tormenting Louise and the other kids when Louise finally snaps at her.
  • One of the Pesto Twins thinking the other has died. Then it turns out the spiders Millie was dropping into the fort were the fake plastic kind.
  • Bob and Linda trick-or-treating in the crappy dragon costume they made for the kids.
  • The kids trick Millie into thinking she killed them. She's more worried about getting a therapist (and if she'll like said therapist) because of what she did.
  • The "Candy Randy" song.

Seaplane!

  • Linda responding to Curt's sexual advances by headbutting him in the face. When he asks why she headbutted him:
    Linda: I would have punched you, but I'm holding wine!
    • Linda then kicks him in the thigh when the plane gets carried out by the tide. And then she punches him in the throat when he makes another pass at her. Then when Bob and the kids finally find them, Bob, winded from rowing, tries to take a swing and winds up punching Curt in the butt.
      Curt: Ow! You punched my butt! What is wrong with you people? What were you even aiming at?
  • The old man sees Curt's seaplane about to crash into Wonder Wharf, and just remarks "Looks like Curt's trying to land with his penis again."

My Big Fat Greek Bob

  • When Bob meets Hefty Jeff, the fraternity historian.
    Hefty Jeff: Ask me anything about the history of this frat.
    Bob: Uh, okay. When was it founded?
    (beat)
    Hefty Jeff: Crap. Ask me something else.
  • Linda kicking out the kids from Gretchen's "lady goods" party when she finds out that the goods are actually vibrators.
    Gene: I want a magic vibrating club, just like any other boy!
  • Bob's reaction to Beta house's prank of putting a dead fish in the air conditioner of Alpha house.
    Bob: That's a good prank... kinda... no it's not.
  • When the Dean Dixon puts Beta house under probation for the pranks they did:
    Turd: What about Dean Dixon's letter? Shouldn't we lay low?
    Pud: Turd's got a point.
    Turd: Thank you.
    Pud: I'm one semester away from graduating.
    Bob: Oh, Pud. There are no jobs out there. You know that, right?
  • When Bob and the kids confront Dr. Yap about stealing Beta.
    Gene: (holds Beta by the tail) Recognize this iguana?
    (Beta's body snaps off from his tail)
    Gene: Oh!
    Bob: Aah!
    Dr. Yap: (Gasp)
    Gene: Recognize this iguana tail?
    Tina: (wearing one of the frat boy's underwear outside her skirt) Or these briefs? Just curious they're mine now.
  • After Dr. Yap sucker punches Bob and runs away.
    Bob: We're definitely switching dentists.
    Tina: No!
    Dr. Yap: You're never get a better family dentist who's in your provider network. (laughs evilly)
  • Dean Dixon's joke before his introduction.
    Dean Dixon: Hello, I'm Dean Dixon. And you're all expelled! Just kidding. (beat) Except for you, you're expelled. Just kidding.
  • Bob trying to stop the Beta house prank:
    Dean Dixon: Now I would like to introduce a truly outstanding young man...
    Bob: Me! Hello. I am the honorary's twin brother. Not identical twins, obviously. But I'm 20-years-old.
    Dean Dixon: Excuse? Um...
    Bob: It's okay, Dean, thanks. Have a seat. (to the audiences) You know what I like about my brother? He's nice, he... he wouldn't hurt a fly, must less, I don't know. I'm just naming animals here, (to Beta house under the stage) an iguana...
    Louise: (Tries to stop Bob from stopping the prank) No!
    Bob: Please have her removed. (back to the audiences) I want everyone in the room to know, (to Beta house) even people who might be under the stage right now, that the Alpha president would not hurt or kidnap an iguana, right?
    Dr. Yap: Maybe he would!
    Bob: No he wouldn't! Those are the kind of things our crazy oldest brother would do though. You know, (to Beta house) our crazy Asian dentist older brother would do. I'd point him out but I have a slow hand. (to Beta house) A slow hand.
    Gene: Dad should leave the jokes to Dean Dixon.
    Tina: Haha! Hahaha! Come on, help dad out.
    Pud: Are you talking to us?
    Bob: Don't set off the spit keg.
    Pud: Um, let's go out and ask him what he means.
    (Beta house crawls out from under the stage)
    Hefty Jeff: (to the audiences) Hi. How are you?
    Dean Dixon: Excuse, who are these young man. I probably should have come to rehearsal.
  • Bob inviting Beta house to his restaurant to eat (after forgetting to feed them) at the same time Linda and Gretchen are having their "ladies goods" party that's full of cougars (one's a "cougar-doodle" that's known to be smart) and they all start dancing while waving vibrators.
    (A cougar-doodle persuading Hefty Jeff to dance with her by purring and barking like a dog)
    Hefty Jeff: What is... what is happening right now? What is this?
    Turd: Go for it, man!
    Hefty Jeff: (being dragged away) I don't know what to do from here.

Turkey in a Can

  • Everyone accusing Louise for putting the turkey in the toilet.
    Bob: Okay, so really! No one is gonna confess? Louise?
    Louise: It wasn't me.
    Linda: Louise?
    Louise: It wasn't!
    Bob: Fine! So no one, including Louise, wants to admit they did this? I'm giving you guys one more chance to confess, and then I'm grounding everyone, including your mom and Gayle!
    Linda: Bobby!
    Gayle: No, it's fine with me. I don't have any plans.
    Linda: Bobby it wasn't us. It was Louise, come on. Or, uh, maybe Gene.
    Gene: (gasps) How dare you! I put food in the toilet the way God intended. It had to be Louise.
    Louise: Unbelievable. Does everyone think I did this?
    (Everybody admits that they think it's Louise)
    Louise: Then I must be guilty. That's how it works, right!
    Gene: Yep. Perfect system.
    Bob: Well I have to go get another turkey...But I'm not forgetting this. I will figure out who did this. Even though I'm pretty sure we all still think it was Louise.
    Louise: Make sure you save room for Thanksgiving for the words you'll be eating!
  • Louise making a chart of the people who could have put the turkey in the toilet. She took pictures of them by surprise, like when Gene was eating a sandwich and Linda coming out from the showers.
    Louise: Dad, if I may, I taken the liberty of drawing up a little chart here. Let's review our suspects: Tina. She stand at nothing for some grown up stuff. Did her table envy drive her over the edge?
    Tina: No.
    Louise: Gene. He thinks there's only room for one bird at this table. A songbird!
    Gene: (gasps) Do-Re-Me?!
    Louise: Or was is Gayle? Dad went after her cats, she went after his turkey. Classic revenge tale.
    Gayle: Classic.
    Louise: Or maybe. Or maybe Linda. Oh, sweet Linda. A lost, suffering wife stuck in a bad marriage.
    Linda: Aw, poor thing.
    Bob: Lin!
    Linda: What? I got caught up in the story, she's good.
    Louise: And that leaves Louise. Who had no motive at all. Thank you, the end. Thank you.
    Tina: (claps, trying to act like an adult) What an imagination on this one, huh. Kids, hmm.
    Bob: So do you know who did this?
    Louise: Oh, no. Uh uh.
    Bob: Then what's the point of all this?
    Louise: Hold on, I just had an idea. (walks up to Gayle and then grabs and shakes her) Was it you Gayle, huh, confess?! Damn it, Gayle!
    Gayle: (screams)
    Louise: (turns to Tina and grabs and shakes her) Or you?! Confess you're guilty as hell!
    Tina: Uh...
    Bob: Louise.
    Louise: What?
    Bob: Stop.
    Louise: Why?
    Bob: This isn't working.
  • When the turkey is put in the toilet a second time, Gayle accuses herself of doing because she didn't want to feel left out. Gayle then accuses Linda because she's untrustworthy due to an incident where Linda changed the channel when she left the room.
  • When Louise thinks she figures out who put the turkey in the toilet:
    Louise: At first I wondered, who could be mad enough at dad to do such a thing. I mean sure, no one likes him.
    Bob: Louise.
    Louise: And he smells. But then I realized that I was looking at the wrong motive. The person who put the turkey in the toilet was actually angry... at me!
    (Everyone gasps)
    Linda: Oh my, God!
    Teddy: What are we doing?
    Louise: You see, this person knew that I would be blamed and potently punished for this heinous crime. So, was it mom?
    Linda: Don't think so.
    Louise: Correct. It was not. Was it Gayle?
    Gayle: I don't know.
    Louise: No, it wasn't.
    Gayle: Oh.
    Louise: Which brings us to Gene and Tina. At first, I actually believed that Gene was too scared of the shower ghost to go in the bathroom at night. And I believed dad's theory that Tina was too mature to do something like this, if she was acting alone. But what if... (Dramatic Pause) they were working together.
    (Everyone gasps)
    Linda: I knew it.
    Gayle: I can see it, (pointing to Tina off-screen) that one has crazy eyes.
    (Later in the conversation)
    Louise: They worked together to frame me because I have been slowly stealing their allowances over the last five years.
    Tina: Wait...
    Tina & Gene: You have?
    Louise: Yes. Wait, you guys didn't know that?
    Tina & Gene: No.
    Louise: Oh, never mind. Because I haven't been.
    Tina: (relieved) Good.
  • Bob having to constantly buy a new turkey. Eventually leading the guy behind the counter to think he's trying to hit on him. The kicker is that you think it's leading up to a Gay Panic joke, but instead, Bob's more concerned that the deli guy thinks he's a bad cook.
    • When Bob sees the deli guy for the third time, he says that Bob wore him down, and is willing to leave his boyfriend for Bob.
      Deli Guy: Oh my god, we're doing this. So, what do you wanna do? You wanna go the beach?
      Bob: No. Maybe. Wait, I'm straight. I mean, I'm mostly straight. You should call Tony.
      Deli Guy: Let's have coffee. No, let's just have sex! Oh, god, this feels so great!
      Bob:: I should just...sorry. I gotta go cook this. Also I'm married. But if I wasn't- who am I kidding; you're out of my league, it'd never work. (Bob walks off with the turkey)
      Deli Guy: I'm gonna see you tomorrow!
      Bob: (still walking away) Probably not. I'll call you!
  • At the very end of the episode, after the mystery of the turkey in the toilet has been solvednote , Bob starts sleepwalking again, this time mistaking one of Gayle's cats for Gene.

Purple Rain-Union

  • Linda's growing frustration with her band, the Ta-Tas, being the last pick for the entertainment at her class reunion. She eventually talks herself into going out of spite... while she's in the shower, and Gene is on the can. This leads to Gene celebrating with an ill-timed "victory flush".
  • After Gayle finally agrees to come back to the band, she wonders if her cat is telling her not to do it. Louise proceeds to threaten him.
  • Linda agrees to let Gayle perform one of her songs, "Let's You and Me make a We-Union". It's pretty blatantly about her high-school crush Derek Dematopolis. And yet it somehow leads to Derek and Gayle making out in the (somewhat crowded) backseat of Derek's car.
    • And the following song "Still Got Two Of My Sexy Parts" especially the followup in the credits.

Bob and Deliver

  • Tina fantasizing about receiving an A+ and a gold star on an assignment, then morphing into a gold star herself and flying through the roof.
  • Bob losing controlling of his class and threatening to pepper spray them.
    Bob: You're animals! You're all animals!
    • And then Bob's comment to Mr. Frond immediately after.
    Bob: Kids are horrible. Why do we keep making them?
  • Bob, disappointed how the Home-Ec class just watches videos instead of doing any actual cooking, tricks them into getting interested in cooking by making kettle corn.
    Bob: Oh, anybody want some microwave popcorn to go with the movie? (rips the microwave popcorn bag making the kernel drop onto a frying pan) Whoops, I ripped the bag.
    Zeke: (groans) Now we can't have popcorn! Idiot!
    Bob: Hey, everybody, (turns on the stove and heats the popcorn) maybe there's another way to make popcorn.
    Jocelyn: He's trying to microwave without a microwave.
    Zeke: Mr. B's lost. God, he's lost it!
    Tina: Let's see where he goes with this.
    Jocelyn: Oh, my God! What's happening?!
    Bob: We're cooking, Jocelyn. That's what's happening.
    Jocelyn: What's cooking?
    Zeke: Aw, poop, he tricked us!
    Tina: Or, aw, poop, he taught us.
  • Louise and Gene annoyed that the students Bob is teaching likes him.
    Student: Your dad is really cool.
    Gene: He's married... to a friend of mine!
    Louise: What the heck happened here?
    Tina: I'm not sure. I think dad might be a great teacher.
    Peter: Your dad rules.
    Louise: Hey! I don't appreciate your lack of sarcasm.
  • Bob trying to convince Zeke that he has a talent for cooking.
    Zeke: (sobbing) GO TO HELL! GO TO HELL!
  • Pretty much everything Hildy the lunchlady does.
  • Gene makes up his own nonsensical Hash House Lingo while working in the student restaurant. What makes it even funnier is Zeke picks up on it.
    Gene: Give me a bald Kelly Ripa in a canoe with a brick!
    Zeke: Chicken taco... no sour cream... plus a brownie. You got it!
    Gene: Really? I didn't even know what I meant.
  • Mr. Platt's failed attempt to kick Bob out of his small and crowded car.
    (after Bob gets out of the car)
    Mr. Platt: Got you. Ha, ha!
    Bob: No, you didn't.
    Platt: Well, yes, I did. I pushed you out, and you're fired. So, double burn on you.
    Bob: I got out on my own.
    Platt: Well, then, uh... you're rehired. Get back in the car.
    Bob: No. I'm not falling for that.
    Platt: No, just... just sit down on the edge of the seat here.
    Bob: No, I'm walking away now. Thank you.
  • Teddy getting a guy to dance with him.
    "Bob, I got this guy to dance with me, just using my body!"
    "Yeah, its alright."
  • The ending credits where Teddy gets drunk and dances in the bounce house, leading to him vomiting and telling everyone not to go in it.
    Teddy: Someone threw up in the bounce house. Kids, kids you can't go in the bounce house, someone threw up in it.

Christmas in the Car

  • Tina describing the kids' obsession with capturing Santa.
    Tina: We're chubby chasers.
    Bob: Tina, don't say that.
    Tina: …Fat fetishists?
  • Bob has to correct Gary (the angry truck driver) that it's "kick your ass", not "bang your ass".
  • Linda put up the first tree the day after Halloween. When Bob points this out:
    Louise: Stop ruining Halloween by not celebrating Christmas, dad.
  • Linda's Dutch Baby.
    Linda: Oh, look, it came out in 22 minutes! Oh, it's a preemie just like Jesus.
  • The Belchers have an awkward whispered conversation while trying to hide from the candy-cane truck. Gene claims to have the best legs and butt in the family, Tina confesses to being the one who pooped and didn't flush, not her father, and Louise wants to know where babies come from.
    Linda: (whispering) You all come from my vagina.
    Gene: (whispering) I knew it! You owe me ten dollars, Tina.
  • Gene ends up blowing their cell phone's battery trying to get through to the radio station so he can request "Jingle in the Jungle", and triumphantly cheers for the "Christmas miracle" when the DJ ends up playing it anyway. The song itself is pretty amusing.
  • Gary's sob story about his frustrations from having to work on Christmas turns out to be an excuse to get Bob to drop his guard so he can punch him in the gut. Gary turns out to have a mean punch for a short guy.
  • Teddy is more preoccupied with making sure Bob reads his Christmas card than getting out from under the Belcher's fridge.

Slumber Party

  • Louise's wild stories to drive off Jodi and Harley, which include a violent twin brother of Gene's that speaks in farts, and Linda having "whooping butt".
  • Jodi's germophobic freakout when Linda playfully grabs handfuls of sprinkles while the girls decorate cupcakes.
  • Little King Trashmouth ends up in the bathtub. Gene immediately starts yelling "CODE ORANGE, CODE ORANGE!" You have to wonder about the code system in the Belcher household.
  • When Louise and Jessica are fighting each other with pillows, they respectively use Tina and Gene as shields.
    Tina: Gene, is this your first time as a human shield?
    Gene: Yeah.
    Tina: It's my third time. You're doing really good.
    Gene: Thank you.
  • The Belcher kids consider Bob and Linda's memory foam pillows to be heavy weaponry in pillow-fight terms, to the point of having special code-names for them. What code names did they give these pillows? Fat Man and Little Boy.

Presto Tina-O

  • "Magic can take you places you've never dreamed of." "Like Delaware!"
  • Tina's attempt at an Evil Laugh.
    Louise: Do you have something caught in your throat?
    Tina: That was my evil laugh. I also have something caught in my throat.
  • Louise and Gene's reaction to Tina and Jimmy Jr.'s improvised magic act.
    Gene: Huh. I thought we were getting revenge.
    Louise: More like revenge on us, having to watch.
  • Bob's revenge on the magician includes licking a platter of cold cuts in his dressing room. Later he finds out Sazerac farted on the meat.
    Linda: I hope you learned your lesson, Bob. Don't lick meat.
    Gene: Disagree.

Easy Commercial, Easy Go-mercial

  • Louise getting Randy (who's been hired to film the commercial) to admit that he's a hack.
  • The Belcher's terrible attempts at filming a commercial, and Bob's reaction to the end result.
    Bob: Oh my god...
    Linda: "Oh my god, you love it"?
    Bob: Oh my god, we're screwed!
    Tina: "Oh my god, we're screwed, you love it"?
  • Anything Sandy "Can-Can" Fry does or says.
    Louise (angry from not being the director of the commercial): I was being sarcastic, Sandy.
  • The Belcher kids start angrily doing the Can-Can to spite Bob for airing the re-cut commercial that barely features them. Then Linda joins in, followed by Bob himself, who keeps going until he gets a cramp.
  • When the Belchers see Bob being attacked by irate customers at Jimmy Pesto's, they go to defend him... but not before watching him get pelted with food for a bit, 'cause they're still mad.

The Frond Files

  • Louise's story is a parody of The Terminator. Mr Frond sends a robot duplicate of himself into the past to stop Louise from executing the Brownie Chair Surprise, where she put a brownie on Frond's chair during a school assembly, making it look like he crapped his pants.
  • Gene's story: Fart School for the Gifted, which is every glorious "screw the establishment" '80s music flick wrapped up in one segment.
    • Mr. Frond dressed as Mrs. Garret from The Facts of Life, and his portrayal in the story as a Dean Bitterman.
    • The climactic "Farts Will Set You Free" song at the end of the story, which features Gene literally blowing the roof off the school with the "Super Fart" he had recorded on his keyboard.
  • Tina's story features her as a hall monitor who has to defend her fellow students from a horde of basketball players turned into zombies by a faulty "jock itch vaccine".
    • Mr Frond locks himself in his office during the zombie attack and refuses to let the kids in with the justification that the survivors will need his guidance. This backfires when he gets eaten by the zombified nurse.
    • Tina flirting with the zombie horde.
      Tina: If your butts fall off, pick them up and put them back on.
  • At the end of the episode, we find Louise actually tried the "Brownie Chair Surprise" when Bob notices as Mr. Frond leaves his office that he's got squashed brownies stuck to the seat of his pants.
    Bob: *barely containing himself from laughing* Linda, get your purse. And Gene's keyboard. Let's get out of here.

Mazel Tina

  • Tina's explanation of why she wants to go to Tammy's Bat Mitzvah so badly:
    Tina: It's about becoming a woman and it's a really great party. ... Plus, rumor has it this one's gonna be packed with BFOS.
    Bob: What are BFOS?
    Linda: What's wrong with the boys from your school?
    Tina: I need fresh faces. (quieter) And fresh butts.
    Gene: You'll take the butts you're given and you'll like it!
  • Tammy on the phone planning her Bat Mitzvah:
    Tammy: WHAT IS IT NOW, RABBI ROSENBERG, WHAT IS IT NOW?!
  • Janet gleefully announcing to a furious Tammy that she quits (per Louise's anonymous advice) so that she can become a star in New York.
  • When Tammy calls her mother's perfume "weird":
    Mrs. Larsen: It's not weird. You like it, right?
    Mr. Larsen: Um, yeah, I like it. I wear it. It's bisexual.
    Mrs. Larsen: Do you mean unisex?
    Mr. Larsen: It's the same thing.
    Mrs. Larsen: It is not the same thing.
    Frida: My swim-aerobics instructor is bisexual.
    Mr. Larsen: Thank you, Frida.
  • Tammy and Louise arguing about the band when they first get stuck in the large Tammy head decoration.
    Louise: No one can hear us over the terrible band!
    Tammy: The Klezbians are not a terrible band!
    Louise: Yes, they are!
    Tammy: How dare you!
    Louise: OH, HELP!
  • When the band announces a short break:
    Tina: Excuse me, but there's no break on the schedule.
    Emcee: Uh, I gotta call my dog sitter.
    Tina: But it's time for me to lead the Macarena. So, hey, Macarena or hey, you're fired.
  • After Tammy finally breaks down at seeing all her friends and family enjoying the party without her, Louise reveals that her headset is working again.
    Louise: I fixed the headset.
    Tammy: Oh. (realizing) OH! You're a genius!
    Louise: I know.
    Tammy: Well, what are you waiting for? Get us out of here!
    Louise: Oh, it's broken!
    Tammy: No! (sobbing)
    Louise: Okay, I fixed it, I fixed it. But you watch your tone.
    Tammy: I'm sorry.
    Tammy: I can't give you a guarantee.
    Louise: All right, then it's broken.
    Tammy: NOOOO!
  • Tina leading the guests in the Chicken Dance while still donning the headset and clipboard:
    Tina: Come on! Keep up! What part of the chicken dance don't you understand?
    Jimmy Jr.: Tina, you're kind of getting an attitude.
    Tina: Hmm. Let me check the schedule for mouthing off to the party planner. No. Not on here. So zip your lips and shake your hips.
  • When Louise and Tammy are stuck in the Giant Tammy Head and trying to break through the floor, you can hear Louise cry out:
    Louise: OH MY LITTLE LEGS!
  • Bob and Linda getting distracted by the other caterers, and suddenly finding themselves at a wedding being held at the same venue.
    Bob: We are not in the same hall as we were a minute ago.
    Linda: It's like the end of The Shining in here. We could get lost.
    Bob: Where did everybody go?
    Linda: Wait a minute, this is a wedding!

Uncle Teddy

  • Jonas keeps breaking out his melodica and playing music, even though he's not very good at it.
  • Linda's comeback to one of the burger fanatics complaining about them hogging the jacuzzi.
    MeatCute: Ugh. The sign says to limit your soak time to 15 minutes!
    Linda: That sign says, "No running," and you're running your mouth, MeatCute!
  • Linda and Bob pouring burger condiments into the jacuzzi to get back at the burger fanatics.
  • Teddy throws Jonas' moped off a cliff in a fit of pique, then immediately regrets doing so.

The Kids Rob A Train

  • Bob, trying to avoid talking with Linda and Rick by trying to befriend a kid riding his bicycle:
    Bob: Look, I'm perfectly happy enjoying my wine, staring out the window at that... (sees a kid outside the train) kid on a bike, going the same speed as us? And we are friends. I call him "Ramon". (to "Ramon") Hi, "Ramon"!
    "Ramon": What?
    Bob: Hi!
    "Ramon" I can't hear you.
    Bob: What? I...
    "Ramon":: I...
    Bob: I can't hear you. I'm in a train. Okay, have a nice bike ride.
    ("Ramon" throws a rock at the train window)
    Bob: Ramon just threw a rock at me. (Beat) We're still friends.
  • Bob attempting to guess what his wine is blindfolded:
    Bob: This one is probably... wine. I would say red. Or it could be white. I'm also realizing that I'm not as good at this as I thought I'd be.
    Rick: No, you're not.
    Bob: Chablis is a wine, right? (Beat) You guys aren't answering me. I'm gonna say that's a good sign. I'm going with Chablis.
    Linda: Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby. You're not good at this.
    Rick: Poor Bob. I can't see your sad, pathetic face right now, but I bet it's crying.
  • Ethan getting suspicious of the kids:
    Ethan: Wait a minute. Something's up. Why are you out of breath?
    Rudy: Well, my trachea constricts due to the histamines that my body produces...
    Ethan: Okay, okay, Rudy, stop talking. (to Louise) Why are your shoes muddy?
    Louise: Because I'm-I'm poor. Oh, I'm so poor.
    Ethan: (to Gene) And why are you in your underwear?
    Gene: Because I am rich.
  • Linda tricking the snobby wine taster into drinking from the spit bucket.

I Get Psychic Out Of You

  • Those sounds Linda makes with every prediction. Even Bob comments that she sounds like Jerry Lewis.
  • Even though Bob doesn't believe in Linda's powers, when she predicts he's going to fall down a flight of stairs Bob starts taking the stairs down to the basement very carefully, first by scooting along the wall then by crab-walking down the steps. Either he doesn't want to give Linda something to gloat about, or a part of him really does believe.
  • One of the many uncover cops staking out the Wharf Arts Center is playing in the string quartet. Sgt. Boscoe thinks the guy is good enough he should quit the force and play violin professionally.

The Equestranauts

  • A line that pretty much sums up many a brony: "Oh my God, why am I analyzing this show?"
  • The Belcher Family trying to stop the the Equesticles from giving Bob an Embarrassing Tattoo.
    Tina: Don't tattoo my dad!
    Louise: Counterpoint: Do tattoo him!
    Linda: Make it say "I Love Linda".
    Gene: Or give him some more nipples! You can never have enough! Ask a cat.
    • Tina tries to bust down the door but it's revealed that it's unlocked.
    Horseplay: Yeah, it's so we don't have to get up when every time someone else arrives.
  • When Bronconius gloats to Bob that he'll never get Tina's doll out of the hotel safe because the combination to the safe is based on an obscure reference to "The Equestranauts" that only he knows, how does Bob get the safe open? He calls the hotel front desk and has security open the safe for him.
    Bronconius: Oh, well, that was actually easy.
  • Bob, after going through all that trouble getting Tina's doll back, forces Tina to play with her doll after she decides she's too old to play with it.
  • The entire cast singing "The Equestranauts" theme song during the credits.

Ambergris

  • When Tina has identified the strange waxy scented lump (ambergris from a whale) they found on the beach with the Internet.
    Tina: Hey guys, remember that lump we found on the beach?
    Gene: My name is Gene!
    Tina: No, I mean the smelly lump.
    Louise: His name is Gene!
  • Gene spends most of the episode trying to steal a piece of ambergris and eat it.
  • Mickey casually admits that pretty much everyone working at Wonder Wharf is an ex-con, especially the lady who sells snow cones, who's seen violently stabbing the ice in her cart with something approaching a Slasher Smile on her face.
  • Pretty much everything involving Calvin Fischoder's even-more-eccentric brother Felix and his attempts to renovate the bathroom at Bob's Burgers.
    • Felix hires a Brazilian DJ for the "unveiling party", who ends up crashing in Bob's living room for a few days.
    • The unveiling of the new bathroom. Not only does the fancy jet-black interior clash with the rest of the restaurant, but Bob can't tell the toilet, the sink, and the trash can apart because they all look virtually identical.
    • When Felix throws a tantrum and locks himself in the Belchers' new bathroom, Calvin gets him out by drumming on the door and singing a childish song about how great Felix is while everyone else chants "Felix!" Felix comes out all cheered up, though he thinks Bob's chanting was a little flat.

The Kids Run Away

  • Gail's poetry:
    Gail: SQUAAAAAAAAT!
  • Louise fending off Dr. Yap while he screams like a little girl.
  • Louise trying to check into a hotel using Bob's credit card and an ID with a school picture on it. She claims to be a Vietnam Veteran.
  • The entire "Gayle Force Winds" sequence.
  • "Bribe Louise? We don't have that kind of money!”
  • Dr. Yap reluctantly going along with the over-the-top roleplay the Belchers do to get Louise to her dentist's appointment, where she's a secret agent being implanted with a microchip full of top-secret plans and Bob, Linda, and Teddy are enemy agents.

Gene It On

  • The cheersquad adviser, Mr. Ambrose the librarian, who wanted to advise drama, attempting to enforce drama rules by turning the entire cheerleading competition into a Bring It On ripoff.
    • When he reveals his reason for leaking Gene's routine to the other school.
      Mr. Ambrose: Because having you cheers stolen five minutes before you perform is incredibly dramatic! Now you really have to scramble!
      Todd: You are the worst cheer adviser.
    • After Mr. Ambrose gets injured saving the kids from the failed attempt at the "Pighweel", he ignores the paramedics telling him he's not that badly injured and insists on being carried away in a stretcher while groaing in (imagined) pain.
  • Linda's ridiculous ideas for cheer-leading maneuvers. Even GENE can tell at first glance how dangerous and impossible the "Pigwheel" (six cheerleaders stacked on top of each other piggy-back and doing a cartwheel) is.
    • When Gene needs a new cheer routine, he decides to do the Pigwheel and introduces it to his squad:
      Gene: (showing the flip book of the routine) It's never been accomplished before except by stick figures.
      Todd: I don't want to be "that guy," but if we do that, we're all gonna die a tragic death in front of our families.
      Mr. Ambrose: Stop, no, I never meant it to come to this! It's too risky! Do it! Do it!
  • Tina attempting to do a somersault as part of her cheerleader audition, and smashes headfirst into the judges table.
    • And in the restaurant before school:
    Linda: Okay! Gene, Louise, why don't you go to tryouts to support Tina? I'm sure she could use it.
    Gene: Okay.
    Louise: Oh, no way. I'm busy.
    Tina: By the way, with a cartwheel, are your hands or your face supposed to touch the ground first?
    Louise: [pause] Actually, I'll make time.
  • Gene has to lift Tammy during a routine. It goes as well as you'd expect. When the inevitable happens, Gene gags and nearly drops Tammy.
    Tammy: Well, don't squeeze, newbie!
    Jocelyn: Don't breathe in, you'll die!
    Tammy: That hasn't been proven 100%!
  • When Tina and Jimmy Jr. reconcile, Louise (who's just had way too much pie) declares she really IS going to puke and proceeds to vomit on the window of the rotating restaurant.

Wharf Horse

  • Tina has flashbacks to riding on the carousel and falling off (or nearly falling off) Mr. Goiter as a baby, a grade-schooler, and a teenager.
  • "You can't just run away from a kidnapping and go shopping! This isn't Florida!"
  • When Felix tries to disrupt Tina's bike-locking to Mr. Goiter (her favorite horse in the carousel)
    Felix: Leave now, or I will make you leave!
    Tina: Oh, I'm sorry, do you have the ability to make 13 year old girls poop out keys?
    Gene: He might. Don't look into his eyes!
    Louise: (To the onlookers) This guy's trying to make my sister poop!
    Felix: No, I'm not.
    Gene: Girl-pooper! Girl-pooper!
    Louise: Girl-pooper!
    Felix: SHUT UP! THIS IS BOARDING SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN!
    Gene: Boarding school sounds fun.
  • When the contractors start smashing the other horses on the carousel:
    Tina: Lady Big Nose, no! (smash) Mr. Down There Hair! (smash) Henry Human Feet! (smash)
    Gene: His feet were more human than mine!
  • Bob lampshading how suspicious Felix's Evil Laugh is.
  • When Bob tries to get Tina to stop protesting:
    Bob: Tina, I know you love the carousel, but I have to tell you something. (whispers) They're tearing down Wonder Wharf to build condos.
    (Crowd gasps)
    Tina: NOOOOOOO!
    Bob: Uh, you weren't supposed to hear that. It's for the best. You understand, right, honey?
    Tina: DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
    Bob: Yeah, so, great.

World Wharf II: The Wharfening

    Season Five 
Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
  • Gene and Courtney having their respective recollections of when she asked him to help with his play. Gene claims that he politely told Courtney to leave him alone, she apologized for being annoying and slid out of frame. Courtney, offended, remembers Gene yelling at her and farting loudly, which everyone present agrees is more believable.
  • Gene calling Working Girl "the sassy sister film to Die Hard."
  • When Tina chooses to perform in Courtney's play instead of Gene's play, she explains that Jimmy Jr. is in the play as Jack Trainer and she wants to get together with him, despite her playing Katharine Parker. Gene immediately points out a huge problem with her plan with Courtney and Doug backing him up:
    Gene: But your characters don't even end up together.
    Tina: We're all allowed to interpret the movie differently.
    Courtney: No, they definitely don't end up together.
    Tina: Eh, to each his own.
    Doug: No, they really don't.
    Tina: Well, comme ci comme ça.
    Doug: All right, well, now you're just saying words.
    Tina: C'est la vie.
  • All of the utterly ridiculous songs from both musicals. All of them.
  • Ms LaBonze slapping Doug over his apparently phony promise to have Carly Simon attend the school play.
    Ms LaBonze: You probably think this slap is about you!
  • Bob's explanation for why he pushed Doug:
    Bob: Hey, I was just pushing you away from Linda, she's crazy!
    Linda: THAT'S RIGHT, HONEY!
  • Louise's Russian accent and the delivery of her lines:
    Louise: Shush! I am Karl. The one with beautiful hair!''

Tina and the Real Ghost

  • Tammy tries to pass off the lesson she learned from being scared by Tina's prank that she should be herself... i.e. bossy and obnoxious. Everyone else tries to shoot that down.

Friends With Burger-Fits

  • The kids have frozen the floor in the basement, making it ice, and invited the kids to play and push each other on it. Linda finds out, loves this, and has arranged a sort of ice-wrestling tournament for all the kids and is trying to get them fired up.
    Linda: [Sweetly] Everybody got their pillows? Everybody safe?
    Kids: Yeah.
    Linda: (Yelling) NOW LET'S RUMBLE! IF YOUR BUTT TOUCHES ICE, YOU'RE DEAD!
    Rudy: Really?
    Linda: [sweetly] No, no, you're just out, honey.
  • Linda's song about best friends.
    Linda: He crashes on your couch when he loses his job / Guy pulls a knife, and you jump in front / You take the blade right in the gut, ow! / Then he holds your hand till the medic comes, yeah! / You feed him soup when he breaks his jaw / You help him pee when he has that thing, / He's your best friend!
  • After waking up from a bizarre nightmare about his burgers killing Teddy, a groggy Linda assumes he wants to just plain kill him. She's surprisingly prepared. She even plans to homeschool the kids after doing the deed.
    Bob: Good God Linda, you had all that ready?
    Linda: I'm just being supportive.

Dawn of the Peck

  • The competing theories on why the birds are attacking humans: Teddy thinks that their "pecking order" has been thrown out of whack because the turkeys, chickens, and geese were all stored together; Linda thinking that Thanksgiving is punishing them for not staying at home with Bob; and Micky believes that the birds have decided to overthrow the human race.
    Bob: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!
    Linda: We didn't do Thanksgiving right. We didn't listen to you and now it's attacking us.
    Bob: That makes sense.
    Teddy: No, it's biological!
    Mickey: No, it's the beginning of the Turkey revolution, Bob! (whispering) We gotta pick sides.
  • When the gang escapes from Wonder Wharf, Linda decides to "give the bird to the birds". The Belcher children, the Pesto twins, and Regular-Sized Rudy ask if they can as well; Linda agrees, but just once since it's a holiday. Cue the children flipping off the birds (all conveniently obscured) to triumphant music.
    Louise: It's so insulting!
  • Rudy saying he wants to go with Teddy and the Belchers to rescue Bob.
    Rudy: I kinda want to see how this one ends.
    Louise: Oh, Sweet Rudy. You probably won't live to see the end.
    Rudy: Oh...
  • Bob getting literally "fall-on-his-ass-drunk" while staying at home, and being completely unaware of what's going on with the birds. Including not seeing the horde of birds following him until he encounters the "cyclops bird" after getting a turkey for Thanksgiving. Bonus points for drunk-singing and drunk-dancing to Donna Summer while police sirens flash and blare outside.
    • The scene where Bob does a dramatic scene with a turkey baster is just awesome. Not that kind of Awesome. (Well, maybe.)
    • Bob singing and dancing to Donna Summer during the end credits, especially with his raspy, off-key falsetto.
  • Mickey breaking down and needing Louise to slap him.
  • Finally, after everything is done, Bob is upset that the others have lost their appetite for turkey.
    Mickey: I can still smell it, Bob. They're inside my mind nose.
  • The fact that the Fischoeder brothers forget that they're being recorded while saying incriminating things. Twice. The first time is when Felix states that he purchased a "bunch of dangerous birds" for the Turkey Trot, while the microphone is on. The second one is when he admits that there were still people at the Wharf when he closed the gates, while a news camera is still rolling.

Best Burger

  • Bob wonders what he was thinking signing up for the cooking contest. Cue a flashback to him and Linda drunkenly signing up for the contest.
  • The text message that Linda gets from the kids after they steal black garlic from an expensive food store:
    "Have garlic. Broke the law. You fix later. :)"
  • Gene freaking out while having to run past all the free and cheap food at the festival to get the black garlic to his dad in time.
    Vendor: Free cupcake-flavored ice cream, served on a waffle!
    Gene: You're killing me!
  • When the three judges are tasting Bob and Skip's burgers, the third judge, who is an old man, said that their burger has exquisite (for Bob) and exceptional (for Skip) "mouth-feel", which Linda points out that his comment is creepy.
    • Linda trying to comfort Bob on the judge's results when Skip is likely to win:
      Linda: You got a "Fantastic" and a "Ooh", but [Skip] got an "Amazing" and a really weird "Ah", and [the third judge] liked both your "mouth-feels". I say it's a tight race.
    • When the judges decides the winner:
      Bob You know what. I did my best, I held my own with Skip, and no matter what happens, Lin, I feel pretty good.
      Chuck: And the winner is: Skip Marooch.
      Bob: Oh my God, I feel bad!
      Linda: Aw, dammit! (slaps a cooler off the table) Piece of garbage!
      Bob: How could we lose?! Are you kidding me?!

Father Of the Bob

  • Linda reminding Bob that it's been 7 years since they last visited Bob's father. Gene says he remembers it because he was still breastfeeding.
    Linda: No you weren't!
    Gene: Not with you.
  • The reason they hardly ever see Bob's father? Bob can only stand to be in his presence for 15 minutes before his obnoxious attitude drives him off. Gene says it's like speedating, but with your dad.
    Bob's Dad: *at the grand opening of Bobs Burgers* Well good luck... I give it three months.
    Bob: I'm gonna go inside.
    Bob's Dad: *at Bob's birthday* You're a lot fatter than I was at your age.
    Bob: Gotta go.
    Bob's Dad: *meeting the newborn Gene* Aw, cute kid... So you named him Gene, huh? Is it too late to change that?
    Bob: I'm gonna leave now.
    Bob's Dad: But this is YOUR house.
    Bob: That's okay.
  • The kids milking their grandfather for Christmas money.
    Big Bob: Who's your favorite president?
  • The burns Tina and Louise give each other during their contest for "a Mistle-Tony."
    Tina: And then I can use this dish towel to wipe the floor with you. Because I just won the Mistle-Tony.
    Louise: Um, when you see this trap, you're gonna want to shut yours. Period. End of burn.
  • Bob struggling to keep up with the line dancers while making amends with his father.

Tina Tailor Soldier Spy

  • Troop 257's "secret handshake" just involves doing the "pull my finger" gag three times in a row, then cheering "Troop 257!".
  • Gretchen convinces Linda to dye her hair blonde, with hilarious results. Linda becomes convinced that being blonde is making her dumb.
    Linda: (singing to herself and patting her hair) La la, lala la blonde, Lalala la la lala blonde...
    Bob: Lin, you messed up this order.
    Linda: Blonde?
    Bob: That's the third time today you've got a order wrong, and we've only had three customers.
    Linda: Blonde?
    Bob: Yeah, and I found a bunch of cheese slices in the cash register.
  • Tina and Louise making amends at the end.
    Tina: Also, I made this friendship bracelet for you.
    Louise: Well, I'm not really a jewelry person...
    Tina: You don't have to wear it.
    Louise: (puts on the bracelet) No, I'm going to wear it forever. Back off!

Midday Run

  • Tina "handcuffs" Zeke with a Chinese finger trap. Zeke can't figure out how it works.
  • Zeke's dorky but enthusiastic little dance he does in the Wagstaff Whaler costume. And Mr. Frond's mortified expression when he realizes that, for once, he was wrong to doubt Zeke.
  • Bob's desire to be a better artist leads to him getting a crash course from the Cranwrinkles... which involves Edith posing in the nude. From Bob's reaction, it's not a pretty sight.

Speakeasy Rider

  • The kids determine who will drive the go-kart by drawing "straws"... from "Gene's hairy mole".
  • Tina manages to be a great go-kart racer by flirting with the kart while driving. It weirds out the other kids listening on the radio.
    Tina: Hi Mr. Car. I must feel different than your old driver. Because I have a girl butt. Or so I’m told. Good job wheels. You too steering wheel! And engine? You did your part.
    Sascha: ...Tina I'm going to mute my headset now.
  • This conversation Tina has with one of the rich boys at the track:
    Sascha: Wanna take a little walk and talk? I have a proposition for you.
    Tina: I'm taken. Well, it's complicated.
    Sascha: Honey, if I was hitting on you, you would know. Because you would be TERRIFIED.
    Tina: ...Trust me, you're hitting on me.
  • Gene gets WAY into waving the flag at the go-kart track. Gus (one of the employees) even mentors him.
    Gene (waving flag): Flutter flutter flutter! Shimmy shimmy shimmy! And SNAP IT OFF!
    Gus: Hell of a snap-off, Gene!
    Gene: Yea, but my shimmy was shabby.

Late Afternoon In the Garden of Bob and Louise

  • The song "Happy Crappy Place", especially the plants.
  • Bob trying to come up with a sweet nickname for Louise (and failing miserably).
    Bob: Uh, thanks for participating. Love you...cutie pie?
    Louise: Ugh.
    Bob: Sorry, I'll think of a better one than cutie pie. You're my angel...dust. Sorry, that's a drug.
  • Gene experiencing a teenage high-five.
    "Wow, that was hard! I never knew high-fiving was so violent and satisfying! My hand is a man now!"

Cant Buy Me Math

  • One of the activities Linda planned for a week of Valentine's Day is "sexy cooking". She wants to do it at work during a lunch rush, and Bob refuses. Ignoring him, Linda seductively says she's hidden a strawberry somewhere on her body and wants Bob to find it. Turns out the strawberry is in her apron, and wants Bob to eat it. Understandably, Bob doesn't want to, due to sanitary reasons. Linda eats the strawberry herself, but immediately gags.
  • Not only does Linda use way too much bubble bath for her and Bob's sexy bathtime, but Gene has to use the bathroom, then Louise. And Louise admits that she sometimes pees in the bathtub.
  • Tina repeatedly trying to kiss Darryl even after they win "Cupid's Couple".
  • Bob realizes he left the curtains open and has been dancing in his underwear in full view of the customers at Jimmy Pesto's.

The Millie-churian Candidate

  • Louise's attempts to get Jimmy Jr. to win the election involved creating a cheesy campaign video with him singing about why everyone should vote for him. When that doesn't work, they do a smear campaign on Millie that leads to people feeling bad for her. So what does Louise do? Create a smear campaign on Jimmy Jr., in the hopes that people will think Millie was the one responsible for it.
    Narrator (Gene): Wagstaff has questions for Jimmy Jr. Why does he dance all the time? What's he hiding? Does he have to go? Why doesn't he stop dancing and go? Tell Jimmy Jr. to go to the bathroom already! By the way, here's his 5th grade picture (flashes an embarrassing photo of him with Braces of Orthodontic Overkill) it's terrible!
    • Louise's logic behind this:
      Louise: Negativity backfires, which means it also, uh, "front fires".
    • The initial response to the first commercial endorsing Jimmy Jr.:
      Regular-Size Rudy: Oh barf.
      Ms. LaBonze: I wanna slap that kid.
      Regular-Size Rudy: I know, right?
      Louise: (realizing her plan isn't working) Oh...
    • When all the commercials cause Jimmy Jr. to reach an all-time low...
      Tina: (to Louise) You turned Jimmy Jr. from hero to zero! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO GO THAT WAY! (bangs fists on table)
  • Millie murmuring "Power... Power..." while she rubs her sandwich between her hands until peanut butter is smeared all over her hands like soap. All the while Henry looks on, disturbed.
  • When Louise, Tina and Gene are going through Mr. Frond's files because of a tip they got about Abby, Gene goes through his Zen garden.
    Mr. Frond: Who touched my Zen garden?! It's gonna take all afternoon to re-zen that thing.
  • When Bob and Teddy tie in their competition to see if Bob's knife is better than Teddy's hammer, Linda decides the tie breaker will be who can make a hole in the counter quicker.
    Bob: We're really going to regret this!
    Teddy: I'll fix it later, with my hammer!
    Mort: (Walks in as they're both destroying the counter)...I'll come back later.
  • In the end where Henry reveals that he intentionally planned for Louise and Millie to run against each other, and get the other disqualified
    Louise: How could you play with people's live like that?! Who the hell do you think you are Henry Haber?...You're going to be an amazing president.
  • Gene's reaction to the claim that Millie's actions were just an improv game.
    Gene: That's impossible. The only losers in improv are the audience.

The Gayle Tales

  • "Gayle of Thrones" - Louise's Game of Thrones inspired story, featuring Bob as Bobdor, and Louise as a knight, taking on the Mortain with one quick swing of her slapping sword.
  • The not-so flattering portrayal of Linda throughout the three stories, as the kids are mad at her for grounding them.
    • In Gene's story, "Lindette" is a loud and shrill country singer who loses her future stardom to "Jo Gene and Gayle," becomes an alcoholic, and ends up marrying a random drunk (Bob).
    • In Tina's story, Linda is Lord Bob's loud and obnoxious American fiance he's marrying for money. And they end up having a kid with a tail because they're cousins.
    • In Louise's story, Linda is "Lindaria," an evil hag who gets eaten alive by her pit of ravenous porcelain babies.
  • Scott Bakula keeps showing up in all three stories.

Li'l Hard Dad

  • Tina blames waiting until the last minute to do her book report on writing the due date on her arm and repeatedly washing it off in the shower.
  • Linda comes up with increasingly ridiculous ideas for Tina's presentation to distract from the fact that Tina's barely read the book. These include singing, tap-dancing, and dressing Tina in a crude dog costume, with Teddy's wheelbarrow as a dog sled.
  • The needlessly dramatic RC helicopter battle at the climax, complete with "Ride of the Valkyries" as background music in a Shout-Out to Apocalypse Now.

Adventures in Chinchilla-sitting

  • The kids trying to find the chinchilla and going door-to-door to ask for directions to get to Jonas.
    (at Jonas' house)
    Jonas' Father: Uh, Jonas is at his friend Clay's house doing homework.
    (at Clay's house)
    Clay's Mother: Clay is at Jonas's house doing homework.
    Louise: What the?
    Clay's Mother: Isn't he?
  • After the kids sneak into the teen party, everyone else is disgusted that Gene (who infiltrated as a pizza delivery guy) is actually using the bathroom.
  • Tammy ends up freaking out alongside Tina about being at a high-schoolers' party.
  • Jonas's crush Vanessa slips on Wayne's vomit at the roller rink.

The Runway Club

  • Tina gets an impressive zinger at Tammy when the latter accuses the former of stealing her look.
    Tammy: Tina, you need to take that thing off right now! Sparkle jelly bracelets are my thing since yesterday when I bought it!
    Jocelyn: Yeah!
    Tina: Tammy, I understand your disappointment. I'm a little disappointed too; before I saw it on you, I thought this bracelet was classy.
  • Teddy butts his way into Linda and Bob's conversation about Sally, the girl selling magazines at the restaurant.

Itty Bitty Ditty Committee:

Eat, Spray, Linda

  • Tina getting rose petals from Mort only to find out there's only six petals:
    Bob: That's, like, six... six petals.
    Tina: Yeah, not a lot of funerals this month. Mort said to check back around the holidays.
    Louise: Maybe just one in the hallway, one in the doorway, and then one at the tub.
    Gene: We, we could get some branches.
    Bob: I'm not sure that will have the same impact.
  • Gayle freaking out on the phone when Bob tells her he doesn't know where Linda is. To calm Gayle down, Bob lies telling her Linda is back causing Tina to look to see if she's back two times.
  • Andrew the bus driver getting confused by Linda pointing at certain directions.
    Linda: Okay, so if I'm gonna walk it, (pointing behind Andrew) I could cut through that way.
    Andrew: You're pointing at me. Where did you learn to point?
    Linda: No, I'm pointing through you.
    Andrew: But it's at me.
    Linda: The other side of the...
    Andrew: Oh, behind me? Well, that makes a lot more sense.
  • Linda managed to get sprayed by a skunk two times. The first time, she accidentally woke one when it was sleeping, and the second time, she trips and breaks her glasses and a skunk just runs by and sprays her.
  • Louise asking the baker why some of his customer were banned from his bakery:
    Louise: (pointing to a photo) What did that guy do?
    Baker: He wants his crusts cut off.
    Louise: What did she do?
    Baker: She touches everything. Everything.
    Louise: What did he do?
    Baker: He's really racist.
    Louise: What did that baby do?
    Baker: He's just a jerk.
    • Bob getting mad at the baker for making fun of Linda's large hands and starts throwing samples of pumpernickel on the ground:
      Bob: Guess what? (throws a sample) No one (throws a sample) talks about...
      Baker: Hey.
      Bob: (throws a sample) ...my wife's (throws a sample) giant hands...
      Baker: Easy.
      Bob: (throws a sample) ...on her birthday!
      Gene: (grabs a pumpernickel off the ground) Except (eats the pumpernickel, grabs another pumpernickel) for Teddy, because...
      Baker: All right.
      Gene: (eats the pumpernickel, grabs another pumpernickel) ... he also... (eats the pumpernickel, grabs another pumpernickel) complimented... (eats the pumpernickel, grabs another pumpernickel) her wrists! And this pumpernickel is dry! And a little dirty.
  • When Linda hitches a ride, she has to ride in a horse trailer along with two horses due to being sprayed by a skunk. Her smell is so bad that the horses move away from her.
    Linda: (to the horses) Oh, like you guys smell so good.
  • The epic chase scene through the chalk art festival ends with Linda jumping over a photo-realistic drawing of a gorge while Deidre is stopped cold by it as if it were an actual hole in the ground.
  • After Linda finally gets home and enjoys her spa day, Gene asks if he can dip his sandwich in Linda's tomato-sauce bath.

Housetrapped

  • Bob gets high on pain medication and starts calling everyone "Gene".
  • Linda forcing Bob to reenact what she thinks is Helen killing her husband. A storm prevents them from going on the roof so it turns into an Imagine Spot instead.
    Linda: Bob, you're Larry.
    Bob: No.
    (scene changes to Helen and Larry on the roof)
    Helen: (Linda's voice) Sweet, dead Larry.
    Larry: (Bob's voice) Oh, God.
    Helen: (Linda's voice) I'm Helen. I'm a bad person, and I want your money so onto the boulders with you! (pushes Larry off the roof)
    Bob: (Imagine Spot ends and he's on his back) OW! Ow, my back! Did you actually have to push me?
  • Louise's comment when she sees dozens of clocks in the study.
    "Why do they have so many clocks? How much time do you need?"

Hawk & Chick

  • Bob trying to talk Louise out from following Kojima:
    Bob: This is weird. Let's go home, live our lives the best we can. I mean, we're poor, but we're happy.
  • Gene complimenting Tina, who doesn't get it at first:
    Gene: Wow. She can't do long division, but the girl can slide a saltshaker.
    Tina: Who? Oh, me.
  • Gene trying to figure out the concept of "Hawk & Chick":
    Gene: Wait, so these movies are about traveling barbers who fight weird Japanese monsters? So, it's like a less sexual Incredible Hulk?
  • Kojima revealing that he came to town to find his Yuki, his daughter, and Gene misinterprets it:
    Gene: Is that Japanese for getting your groove back?
  • Gene trying to distribute flyers for the secret film festival to the people:
    Gene: Psst. You like movies?
    Guy: Yeah, I like movies.
    Gene: Are you cool?
    Guy': What do you mean?
    Gene: Forget it! Keep moving.
    (The guy leaves and Tina arrives)
    Tina: How's it going?
    Gene: Some of these people seem cool, but they're not!
    Tina: How can you tell?
    Gene: You can tell.
  • Louise attempting to imitate the sound of crowd cheering but it ends up sounding like a ghost.
  • Louise asking Dominic if he could put subtitles on the film:
    Dominic: Oh, sure. Yeah, I'll just add some words to the screen. What do you think this is, future world?
  • Bob discovering spell check on the computer:
    Bob: Did you guys know about spell check? It's amazing. It tells you if you misspell something. I mean, it's... Some of it is open to interpretation. But, you know, it's helpful.
  • Linda getting mad that despite dubbing more characters than Tina, Tina has longer lines which Linda tries to steal which angers Tina.
  • Bob instructing the crowd who came to see the movie on how to act so the movie theater manager will not notice them:
    Bob: All right, don't forget, secret screening, so we cannot look like a line! The manager's gonna come out pretty soon and go home. We're just 40-some-odd people who happen to be standing here. So, look at your phones or up at the sky and whistle or something.
    (Several people are on their phone, looking at their watch, facing different directions, or tying their shoes)
    Guy: Oh. Okay. Like this? (turns to the side and whistles)
    Bob: (to the guy) Great. (looking at the other people) Wait, wait. Too many shoe tie-ers, one of you hail a cab.
    Kevin: Taxi! (a taxi arrives) What do I do?
    Bob: Commit, commit, get in, circle the block.
  • The Belcher's improv dubbing when the audio speaker's batteries dies:
    • When dubbing the villagers:
      Bob: (dubbing Hawk) Which way did the Seaweed Monster go?
      Linda: (dubbing a villager) That way!
      Tina: (dubbing a villager) No, that way!
      Gene: (dubbing a villager) Aah! Monster! Green! Green! Aah! Aah!
    • The audience's reaction to the improv dubbing when Bob and Louise are trying to convince Yuki to stay in the theater:
      Male Audience Member: I don't remember this part.
      Female Audience Member #1: Are the actors really bad?
      Male Audience Member: Yes. They're horrible.
      • After Bob reassures Louise they will never not talk to each other when they get older:
        Female Audience Member #2: Foreign films are so much more complex than Hollywood movies.
    • Bob improv dubbing the Seaweed Monster:
      • "No! (Seaweed Monster smashes a house) Smash this house! Chick doesn't need to apologize for anything. Chick was just a kid. (Seaweed Monster hits a villager) And I hit this guy!"
      • "Seaweed Monster suddenly thinks this might be about something else. (Seaweed Monster is squeezing Chick while she swings her sword at it) And I'm squeezing you. Sorry about that.
      • "I'm the monster again. (Hawk and Chick stabs the Seaweed Monster) Aah, I'm getting stabbed. (Seaweed Monster explodes) I'm getting... I exploded. I'm not sure why I... I explo... I'm dead. I'm gone.
  • Bob discovering that they had the film festival during a school night:
    Bob: So I should get you kids home, right? What time is it?
    Tina: It's after midnight.
    Bob: Is it a school night?
    Gene: Yes, and I have a big test tomorrow. It's, like, half my grade.
    Bob: Oh, sorry.
    Gene: Hmm.

The Oeder Games

  • The whole plot of the episode is that Mr. Fischoeder has a plan that's equal parts ridiculous and awesome to break up his tenants' alliance against him: bait them into an epic water balloon fight to see who has to suffer the rent hike and who wins a rent cut.
  • Tina has Zeke and Jimmy Jr. at her mercy... and takes the opportunity to quiz them on which of them would be a better boyfriend.
  • Linda suggests using her bra as a double-barreled sling-shot. Then Gene and Louise try it and find it to be surprisingly effective.
  • When Gene and Louise make it into Mr. Fischoeder's fancy tree house, they find his brother Felix living in it. Apparently Felix got himself banished from the main house because he has sleep apnea, and "sleep fart-nea".
  • The end credits feature the cast singing an off-key version of Nena's "99 Red Balloons" over footage of various characters getting pegged with water-balloons.

    Season Six 
Sliding Bobs
  • In Gene's story, "Robo-Stache" is shown to be very strict, doing things like assaulting a guy for not picking up after his dog, tazing a man for abusing the "take a penny" plate at a convenience store, and shooting a young Teddy in the ass with a laser for "indecent exposure" on seeing Teddy's plumber's crack.
  • Tina's story about an alternate Bob's Burgers where Linda married Hugo. In an inverse of the first episode, Hugo's restaurant is accused of using wiener dogs in their hot dogs.
    Bob: Obviously, this is a baseless accusation.
    Hugo: No, it's true.
    Linda: WHAT?
    • Louise is especially freaked-out about the bizarro versions of the Belcher kids, calling Tina a monster for imagining "Charlize" as a Cheerful Child in a pink dress going through a Princess Phase.

The Land Ship

  • Tina being the only one interested in the school assembly about the Land Ship.
  • Teddy seems way too interested in the music playing when City Hall puts Bob on hold. "They're playin' all the hits!"
  • Jordan turns out to be a terrible kisser; he looks like he's trying to eat Tina's face.

The Hauntening

  • The incredibly terrible haunted house Bob and Linda try to put on for the kids. Even when it turns out it was deliberately crappy as part of the Belcher Family's larger scheme to scare Louise, Linda still gets defensive about the bad haunted house.
  • Linda saying they were gonna do an exorcism for the haunted house, mentioning she was gonna vomit on Bob like she did when they were just married.
  • The episode ends with the Belcher kids watching (and riffing on) the video for Boyz 4 Now's new song, "I Love You So Much It's Scary".

Gayle Makin' Bob Sled

  • Linda's Thanksgiving song, and the kids' responses.
    Linda: (singing) It's Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving for everybody, 'Cept for Europeans.
    Gene: Don't worry about the Europeans. They're fine. They've got tapas.
    Louise: And Belgium.
    Tina: And Leonardo DiCaprio, eight months out of the year.
  • Bob triumphantly declares that he and Gayle aren't gonna let the blizzard stop them... then an awning full of snow falls right on top of him and buries him.
  • Linda and the kids' terrible attempts at finishing Thanksgiving dinner. Linda accidentally rips the drumsticks off the turkey and tries to sew them back on, Gene dumps a bunch of candy on the string beans, and Louise makes the sweet potatoes look more like a sundae.

Nice Capades

  • Mr. Fischoeder agrees to pull a few strings and get the Belcher kids use of the skating rink, and he'll do it for a song... as in, he wants to sing a song in their ice show while his brother Felix does an ice-dance.
    Louise: Keep it PG-13.
    Mr. Fischoeder: I'll... try to rein him in.
  • The Fischoeder brothers' act is pretty hilarious. Calvin sings a song about drinking the holiday stress away on Christmas while Felix in an open-chested skating outfit does a suggestive ice-dance.
  • Bob tries to find a last-minute gift for the mall Santa's nephew that isn't a calendar... but since the mall is about to close the calendar store is the only one open.

The Cook, the Steven, the Gayle and Her Lover

  • Drunk Mr. Frond is worth a couple laughs.
  • The kids try to break up Gayle and Mr. Frond by singing a "romantic" song in Spanish... but since Tina only knows a few phrases, she ends up saying things like "Me llammo es Tina" and "El perro es grande" while Louise "translates".
  • Tina repeatedly shooting down Xander's advances.
  • Tina manages to guilt-trip Louise without saying a single word, all while Louise is increasingly freaked-out.

The Gene and Courtney Show

  • Mrs. LaBonze comes up with a number of silly ways to spice up her announcements, like buying a rhyming dictionary and getting another teacher to play the bongos.
  • Bob manages to find a place to buy carnations for the school fundraiser... and Teddy proceeds to ramble about how desperate Bob is to get the flowers, which end up costing Bob a pretty penny.

Sexy Dance Healing

  • Bob has a bit of an obsession with earning Jairo's "special" red scrunchie.
  • Teddy's Comical Overreacting when Bob takes a break from making up the Burger of the Day.
  • The kids manage to blackmail Mr. Fischoeder into letting Jairo have his studio back when they overhear him bragging about breaking up an attempt by his workers to unionize.
    Fischoeder: That'll teach me to be honest around children...

Sacred Couch

Lice Things are Lice

  • Tina and Nurse Liz end up wearing rubber gloves on their heads as makeshift protective caps.
  • Much to Bob's embarrassment, the widow from the funeral party sits down in the one stool at the counter that isn't broken in yet. Much to his relief, the farting noise was actually made by her. She looks a bit confused at Bob and Teddy's sudden cheerfulness, then happily remarks that her late husband would have loved this place.

House of 1000 Bounces

  • Bob is on edge because of the pigeon that gets inside the restaurant, and his anxiety escalates to such a degree that Linda and Teddy finally ask him what the problem is. Bob suddenly remembers a horrible experience he had when he was a kid, where he entered a room and was suddenly attacked by a group of pigeons. It turns out he's remembering a scene from The Birds that freaked him out as a kid. Bob doesn't have a fear of pigeons, Bob thinks he's Tippi Hedren.
    Teddy: You wish.
  • Louise decides to put on Rudy's spoon play with things found in the ranger station's lost-and-found box. They end up bribing the ranger into letting them do it by giving him a part in the play.

Stand by Gene

  • Teddy complaining and exaggeratedly mocking that Bob breathes too hard, blaming him for his miss in "NARTS", Bob's made-up game based on HORSE.
  • After getting a shock from an electric fence, Zeke spends the rest of the episode with a Twitchy Eye. It doesn't seem to bother him that much.
  • Tina is disappointed that she failed to meet her soul mate on the trip to the farm, and Louise tries to cheer her up.
    Louise: Tina, listen to me. Life is a journey.
    Tina: Uh-huh...
    Louise: ...That's all I've got. I don't have advice, I'm nine.

Wag the Hog

  • When Bob goes to confront the bike thief Louise is, as expected, excited at the prospect of stabbing someone (or even just the prospect of getting to threaten to stab someone).
  • Linda is forced to hastily flee the daycare with Sidecar when she makes the other moms think she kidnapped him.

The Hormone-iums

  • Tina's second Imagine Spot has her as a glamorous movie star at a golden-age style movie premiere, complete with Jimmy Jr. and Zeke fighting for the right to propose to her.
  • Linda, Bob, and Louise put on a half-assed Cinderella-themed pitch for Linda's "Wine Shoes". The Fischoeder brothers initially think they're sponsoring a play.
  • The way the Fischoeders awkwardly leave when Linda starts to feign crying.
  • On a meta-level, the epic amount of Ship Tease at the end: Tina plays "spin the bottle", and spins with just the right amount of force to point the bottle at Jimmy Jr... or possibly Zeke, who was sitting right next to Jimmy.

Pro Tiki/Con Tiki

  • Warren's outrageous jokes about being rich, like claiming that he's had his bones replaced with iron and is thus virtually immortal.
  • Teddy seems to get a little too attached to the sunglasses-wearing pineapple that says "Aloha!" when people walk past.
  • When Bob goes to get Warren's money out of the bank, the kids start pelting him with the laminated menus, and prove to be pretty good shots. Apparently, the kids spend a lot of their downtime at the restaurant throwing the menus around.

Bye Bye Boo Boo

  • Tina's amazing Precision F-Strike when hearing that Boyz 4 Now have broken up.
    "Son of a BITCH!"
  • Louise manages to stop the girls from Tina's former Boyz 4 Now fan club in their plan to puke all over Boo Boo... so they just end up puking all over the pier at Wonder Wharf instead.
  • Boo Boo doesn't recognize Louise... until she slaps him in the face again.

The Horse Rider-er

  • When Tina says "goodbye" to her imaginary horse Jericho, Jericho laments that he wasn't dressed for this moment, and we see he's wearing cutoff jeans for some reason.
  • The montage of Tina trying (and failing) to bond with Plops the horse.

Secret Admiral-irer

  • Tina offers to read Meryl's mail to her... including the junk mail and the restaurant flyers.
  • Linda's attempt to get rid of the "cool chefs" who keep trying to pressure a sleep-deprived Bob to hang out with them is to tell them Bob died.
    Linda: HE'S DEAD! GO AWAY, HE'S DEAD!

Glued, Where's My Bob?

  • The song "Bad Stuff Happens in the Bathroom", especially in the end credits when they get a line-up of characters from the show singing the song.
  • After Teddy breaks down the bathroom door, revealing that Bob is glued to the toilet, and Jimmy Pesto runs out to tell everyone in the neighborhood, Bob looks at Linda and sincerely asks her to kill him.
  • Jimmy Pesto's various botched attempts to score some publicity for his restaurant.

    Season Seven 
Flu-ouise
  • The melted Kuchi Kopi... and its disgruntled expression.
  • The family's reaction to accidentally melting Kuchi Kopi and knowing how mad Louise will be.
    Linda: Oh we're dead, we're deeeeead.
    Bob: Oh, God. We should just leave. Town. Get in the car and go far away.
    Gene: I'd love to see Ann Arbor.
  • Louise's increasing annoyance at the musical numbers in her dream.
    "No songs about why you hate the fortress!"
  • Kuchi Kopi is apparently based on a series of books for children, and Clyde the toy shop owner makes Bob and Teddy sit down as he reads one of them, complete with silly voices.

Sea Me Now

  • Poor Teddy just can't do anything right this episode. He crashes his new boat twice, he forgot that he detached the microphone from the radio for a police officer costume, and he shoots their only flare right into the water.
    Gene: Maybe a friendly fish will swim for help.
  • Gene freaking out on seeing they're sharing an island with a herd of grumpy Highland cattle.
    Gene: Tell them we don't sell burgers!
  • After hearing the story of Mr. Caffery, who bought an island and a herd of cattle in a futile effort to win over the woman he loved, Teddy concludes he should buy a private island.
  • Teddy sets fire to the damaged boat as they're getting a ride back to the mainland. It's an impressive symbolic gesture, but Louise points out he could have sold the boat for scrap, and Bob points out they left all their wallets and stuff (and the steering wheel to Teddy's truck) on the boat.
  • The credits have Teddy singing a surprisingly beautiful rendition of Bobby Darin's "Beyond the Sea"... while the Belchers stand around him holding an elaborate series of props (like Linda, Tina, and Louise with the waves, Bob with a boat, and Gene with a deserted island and some sea-birds on a string).

Teen-A-Witch

  • Everything about Mr. Ambrose's secret witch identity. According to Louise, he rides to school on a bicycle with a dog in the basket.
  • Bob discovers that it's not Jimmy Pesto who's been stealing his jack-o-lanterns, but Mr. Fischoeder. Apparently he thinks his tenants are leaving them out for him to take away.

They Serve Horses, Don't They?

  • Hugo taking his investigation super-seriously, even though his "recording devices" are kids' toys (a pink, glittery microphone and speaker for the "wire" and a brightly-colored tape recorder).
  • Bob riding the Slip 'n' Slide in order to get away from Jack.
  • The terrible excerpt from Jack's book "Friday Night Meats".

Large Brother, Where Fart Thou

  • Bob, Linda, and their accountant Gerald accidentally get high on a plateful of marijuana-laced cookies. Highlights include Linda being convinced that she's peeing and a stoned Bob calling home trying to disguise the fact that he's stoned.
  • Tina experiences an entire romantic relationship with a boy she made eye contact with, Joe Harrison, and never speaks a word to. In two hours she goes from interest, to love, to a breakup.
  • The scene where Logan gives Gene the Reverse Norwegian Stinkhole is treated like a murder, complete with Shadow Discretion Shot, Scare Chord and Gene's muffled screams.

The Quirkducers

  • Linda spends the whole episode obsessed with the "Grandpa Potato" that looks like her late grandfather Bert.
  • The montage of the other kids auditioning for "The Quirky Turkey" has some good moments, like Jimmy Jr. doing an awkward split and Tammy and Jocelyn trying to sing in "harmony".

The Last Gingerbreadhouse On the Left

  • Mr Fischoeder's incredibly transparent lie to get Bob to come over by ordering food. He doesn't order anything specific, just "five foods. Nothing weird."
  • Godfrey, the incredibly old, wheelchair-bound judge of the gingerbread contest. Who is also "the fun one" of the group.
    Bob: Is he alive?
    Mr Fishoeder: Good question.
  • The speculation that Fishoeder wants Bob to come over to use him as a sacrifice in a ritual. When Bob walks into the basement and sees the assembled group of rich guys in tuxedos around a table covered in gingerbread house fixings, he assumes he's going to be covered in candy and eaten.
  • The discussion about the prestige of rare-baby-animal-cuddling, and what order to do it in.
  • Mr Fischoeder telling Bob he can "leave his gun on the gun table" and is surprised when Bob tells him he didn't bring a gun. Then, when it inevitably turns out that everyone at the table was concealing a gun anyway and draws, one of the men has a whole shotgun. His only explanation is "Let's just say I have a high butt-crack."

Ex Mach Tina

  • Tina finding out that she's been using her crutches wrong; she's been sticking her arms through the holes rather than supporting her upper body on the stilts.
  • Tina having trouble using the robotic screen robot at school (including injuring quite a few people), and ends up locked inside the AV room because the janitor thought she was AV equipment.
  • "I guess we're going robot dress-shopping. I've said that so many times before, and now it's true!"
  • The collective looks on the family's faces when Jimmy Jr. kisses the Tina-Bot. Followed by Linda's statement that as much as she'd like to cheer Tina up with a story from her own life similar to Tina's situation, this is literally the first time this has happened to anyone.

Bob Actually

  • Tina is not feeling well after a late-night chili eating contest between the Belcher children:
    Gene: Tina dominated.
    Louise: It was like watching someone throw up in reverse.
  • There's something hilarious about a middle-aged white woman teaching a hip-hop dancing class.
  • Speedo Guy and his sudden infatuation with the lady in a mermaid costume riding a unicycle.
  • When Louise confronts Chloe over using Rudy, she tries to defend Rudy, only for them to spend several seconds agreeing that Rudy is the worst runner in the world.
  • After Louise kisses Rudy:
    Rudy: Whoa.
    Louise: (slaps Rudy)
    Rudy: Ow.
    Louise: If you tell anyone about this...
    Rudy: Uh-huh...
    Louise: I will end you.
    Rudy: I think I'm sweating.
  • Tina's stiff-legged walk as she tries to hold the diarrhea in.
  • Ms. LaBonz stealing school supplies and claiming to be bringing it from home, "not the other way around." When Tina catches her taking away an old printer she found in the storage closet, Ms. LaBonz claims she's just taking it home to get it fixed.

There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business

  • Gayle's cat, Mr. Business, is being trained for a cat food commercial by his agent, voiced by John Oliver. Mr. Business attacks the agent, leading to a priceless line reading:
    '''SHOOT IT! SOMEBODY SHOOT IT! SHOOT IT! YOU HAVE THE SHOT! TAKE THE SHOT!

Like Gene for Chocolate

  • Linda getting sugar rushes at the Spratt's factory gift shop. By the end of the episode, she's so hyped up that she fights with Gene over his shipment of cancelled candy bars.

The Grand Mama-Pest Hotel

  • Bob, Gene, Louise and Teddy downing shots of apple juice at Bob's "Dad-chelor party".
    • When the family ends up at a motel, Bob goes to sleep, but is told he'll have to be cool with his face being drawn on since the dad-chelor party rules (you can pass out but you can't sleep) still apply. He tells the kids that he's cool with it as long as it's tasteful. Cut to Bob fast asleep with extra moustache curls drawn on and the word "Boytoy" written on his forehead.
  • Linda flooding the hotel's courtyard with suds when she drops bottles of shampoo in the fountain.
  • The manager bans Linda for the above infraction.
    Manager: She is no longer welcome here at the Brewster Courtyard Gardens Hotel.
    Linda: But your motto is "You're always welcome at the Brewster Courtyard Gardens Hotel"!
  • Linda's disguise to sneak back into hotel: a pair of sunglasses, a bandana and a bikini T-shirt.
    Linda: How do I look?
    Louise: Like someone who swallows cigarettes for free drinks at bars.
  • Try not to laugh at Genes' dancing during the "Dad-chelor Party" song in the credits.

Aquaticism

  • Tina's terrible attempts at attracting customers to the aquarium.
  • Bob's increasingly awkward attempts to be "charming".
  • The awkward "singles mixer" that the kids throw, like Teddy showing up in an ill-fitting tuxedo ("It's from prom! Not my prom...") and showing off a dance called the "Tuscaloosa Tornado".

Ain't Miss Debatin'

  • Tina repeatedly tries (and fails) to find something that makes her mad enough to get fired up for debate club.
  • Sasha's attempts to lure Tina out of her debating head space by dangling Duncan in front of her.
    Sasha: Just calling you back real quick to let you know that Duncan is being so self-deprecatingly charming right now. He's the center of attention but also a little bit alone — no one gets him.
  • Meat Man's dramatic death by firecrackers.

Eggs For Days

  • Everything about Bob and Linda's jellybean-schnapps hangovers, from Linda needing to barf but being too tired to Bob complaining about how much it hurts to blink.
    Gene: You smell like candy and BO mixed together, like a...homeless M&M.
  • Teddy's mad dash at the end to get the rotten egg to the ocean.

Zero Larp Thirty

  • Linda's reaction to finding the LARPers playing the upper-class characters have gone mad with power and are willing to go to extremes to get their dessert back.
  • Linda trying to break the awkward silence after the fight between the LARPers gets everyone kicked out.
  • The end credits, with Bob and Linda making up their own lyrics (mostly consisting of the show's title) to the Windthorpe Manor theme song.

The Laser-inth

  • Tina finds out the hard way she has a phobia of dolls, and spends much of her time at the Special Girl store freaking out at all the dolls staring at her.
  • It turns out there aren't two Nicks working at the concession stand, it's just one guy who likes to mess with the scalper.
  • How do Bob and Gene distract the security guard so they can sneak back into the planetarium? They roll the discarded model of Pluto down the hill towards the employee parking lot.
    Guard: This is why nobody likes you, Pluto!

Thelma & Louise Except Thelma Is Linda

  • Ms. Schnurr and Zeke are apparently friends! They chat about Zeke's new shorts before she sends him off to class.
  • Gene and Tina try to send Louise notes while's she's (supposedly) in suspension. Gene sends her drawings of an angry anthropomorphic hot dog, while Tina writes to write her a haiku... only to realize the last line has too many syllables.
  • Linda ends up with cat face paint after she was forced to use the face-painting booth at Wonder Wharf as a cover-up.

Mom, Lies, And Videotape

  • In Louise's story, Rudy's old-timey inhaler, which looks like a tiny bellows.
  • Tina's story is Aliens meets Freaky Friday.

Paraders of the Lost Float

  • All the Belchers end up wearing pickle costumes because Linda made one and got carried away.
  • Bob dancing in his underwear to "Hot Pants Rain Dance".

Into the Mild

  • Austin the overly-friendly sales clerk keeps bugging Bob while he's shopping around.
  • While Bob is having his adventure at the old outdoor sports store, Gayle regales Linda and the kids with a preview of her ridiculous autobiographical one-woman show. Her birth is symbolized by her crawling out of an old garbage bag while wearing flesh-colored tights.
  • When Bob manages to scale the wall and break through the skylight, Austin admits that the moisture running down his face is a mixture of Tears of Joy and pee.
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    Season Eight 

Brunchsquatch

  • The constantly-shifting art styles (based on the designs for the characters from fan-art) can be pretty funny on its own. One segment has all the characters as Noodle People, while another is done in an Animesque style, complete with slightly-mismatched mouth-flaps.
  • One of the drunken "brunch skunks" throws up in a purse... then realizes it might have been her own.

The Silence of the Louise

The Wolf of Wharf Street

  • Bob, who's high on painkillers and convinced Teddy is a werewolf, tries to escape despite his bad knee. We see him stumble down the stairs and cry out in pain, then he pokes his head up to reveal that he only fell half-way down the stairs. Then he trips and falls the rest of the way.
  • Linda, Randy, and the kids think they've found the stray wolf that's been spotted in town... and it turns out to be the alpaca that escaped from the Wonder Wharf petting zoo.

Sit Me Baby One More Time

  • Kendra repeatedly trying to kick people in the "tinkle-dink".
  • The montage of Bob brow-beating his family into saying that the burgers at other places aren't as good as his.
  • After finally getting Kendra into bed, Tina rolls out from her hiding place under the bed as Kendra's parents come in, and hastily claims she was checking for monsters.

Thankshoarding

The Bleakening

  • Teddy does a stake-out hiding in his inflatable Santa decoration. He doesn't see the decoration thieves, but he does discover that his neighbor hasn't been cleaning up after her dog... then he gets overwhelmed by the smell of dog poop and freaks out.
  • The song from the end credits of part one. "Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree/Where is my freakin' Christmas tree!?"
  • At the end of the episode, Linda is still up and dancing on Christmas morning because one of the ravers gave her... something. Then she finally crashes and passes out, and Bob hastily makes sure his wife still has a pulse.

V for Valentine-detta

Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien

  • Rudy giving himself a nickname.
    Rudy: But you know what’s really cool? Winning. And right now, nobody does that quite like the Rudester.
    Louise: Okay, you need to shut that down. "Rudester" can never be said again.
  • Linda and Bob try to discourage Tina from using "banged" to describe besting people in Ga-Ga Ball.
    Tina: What's wrong with 'banged'? I banged you, I banged mom, I'm gonna bang everyone at school!

The Secret Ceramics Room of Secrets

Sleeping With the Frenemy

  • Tammy is so spoiled and sheltered, she has trouble grasping such simple tasks as passing Teddy the ketchup or using a sponge (or a "table loofah", as she calls it).
  • Tina worries that if Brett and Tammy hook up, she'll have to keep speaking for Tammy for the rest of their lives. She has an Imagine Spot where she has to prompt Tammy on her wedding day, on her honeymoon, and while giving birth.

The Hurt Soccer

  • When the soccer coach gives Louise her uniform:
    Coach: Here's your jersey, it's been in my car for nine weeks. It's listened to a lot of NPR.
    Louise: NPU.
  • The coach of the Blue Dragons admits that the people in their soccer league aren't very creative with names, saying there are several colors of Dragons and a lot of Thunders, including the unfortunately-named Brown Thunders.

Cheer Up, Sleepy Gene

  • Alex convinces Gene to run away with him, to his little "cabin in the woods", which turns out to be a crude shack made out of trash bags.
    Gene: Cabin in the woods? Oh my god, haven't you ever seen Cabin In The Woods?!
    Alex: No...
    Gene: Well, neither have I, but the music in the trailer was terrifying!
  • Bob and Linda discovering that they not only snore in their sleep, they fart as well.
    Bob: Ugh, what is wrong with us?

The Trouble With Doubles

  • Ruth Anne's husband Nick has an emotional support dog who's almost as neurotic as he is. He apparently needs it after a traumatizing incident with his college a capella group.
  • How does Tina get the other kids to calm down and leave after they watch the terrifying zombie movie? She takes one for the team and shows an embarrassing home video of her as a toddler, singing a song to her poop and crying when she has to flush it.

Go Tina on the Mountain

  • The cheesy camp songs the counselors sing, especially the "Weasel Song".
  • Gene and Tina have the same reaction to Tina's reoccurring dream about Jimmy Jr. and Zeke swapping heads: "What's up with that?"
  • After finally scaling the mountain, Tina finally gets over being nicknamed "Fluffy-butt", which is good because even a crow has learned the nickname.

Are You There Bob? It's Me, Birthday

Boywatch

  • Linda tries to get the attention of a patron who's preoccupied with his laptop by claiming she poisoned his fries.
  • Tina is upset that she got her entire Junior Guard squad in trouble trying to prove herself, and that she has to hand in her uniform and whistle in the morning.
    Louise: Well play us something before you bring it back, will ya?`
    Tina: *blows the whistle*
    Bob: Maybe not, it's, it's kind of shrill.
    Louise: You let mom talk.
    Linda: Whaaaa?

As I Walk Through the Alley of the Shadow of Ramps

  • Louise convincing the cops that Rudy is a Littlest Cancer Patient. They take one look at his weedy, weak body and fall for it, while Rudy has no idea what's going on.
  • The Running Gag of Bob getting misty-eyed whenever the subject of kids riding bikes comes up.

Mo Mommy Mo Problems

  • Linda "casually" eating shrimp.

Mission Impos-slug-ble

  • Mr. Frond inadvertently providing a distraction by dancing in front of Ms. LaBonz's house to "Groove is in the Heart".
  • The Burobu theme song that plays over the end credits.
    There's only one way to win this fight
    Beat the other guy!
    The one rule to climbing the highest heights
    Is to climb up really high!

Something Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters for You

  • During Farrah and Connor's ceremony, the wind keeps blowing across the microphone and muffling the officator's anecdotes and the couple's vows (leading to some amusing Orphaned Punchlines).
  • When the wind carries away Farrah's childhood Security Blanket "Frankie the Blankie", Gene quips "Looks like Frankie's going to Hollywood."
  • The montage of the Belcher kids photo-bombing the wedding pictures. The highlight is probably Tina popping up and pretending to laugh awkwardly at one of the other guest's jokes.

     Season Nine 

Just One of the Boyz 4 Now

  • Tina keeps crushing on boys and having increasingly elaborate Imagine Spots where they sing her a cheesy pop song.
  • When Tina gets caught, someone shouts "Look, a girl!" Then six more girls (including a few in disguise just like Tina) come out of hiding, thinking they've been found out.

The Taking of Funtime 123

  • The silly names for the arcade games seen in the background include The Legend Of Zelda Fitzgerald and what appears to be a video game adaptation of Manchester by the Sea.
  • The ending, where the kids just plop the enormous Wheely Mammoth plush in the TV room, right in front of the TV set.

Tweentrepeneurs

  • Edith threatens Tina, who owes her money for a bulk order of googly eyes, with the Eye Am Watching You gesture. Then she does it with the pair of googly eyes she's holding in her other hand.
  • When the dine-and-dasher comes back one last time to make even and have another meal, Bob deals with him by making him sit at the counter with his hands and feet tied while Tina feeds him his order.

Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street

  • When Bob gets into Teddy's decorating war with Glen, he dresses up as Bruce Springsteen. Linda seems to think he was going for Rambo, for some reason.
  • When Linda sees that Bob and Teddy tied chainsaws (and other power tools) to Teddy's spider decoration, she starts to worry they're taking things too far.
    Linda: I'm not explaining to the kids their dad died in a chainsaw-spider accident!
    Bob: Yeah...
    Linda: And if you chop your hands off, I'm not wiping your butt for you. You know our arrangement!
    Bob: I know our arrangement, I'll be careful.
  • Tina and Gene manage to catch the candy thief before he can sneak out of the haunted house... then admit that they tackled a few other guys before catching the thief. Also, the main reason they came in is because a guy puked just outside Mutilation Manor.

Live and Let Fly

  • In order to make up some missed detention, Mr. Frond drags Tina, Gene, and Louise into doing a crappy PSA for the "Empathize Glyde", complete with tacky fashion from The '90s and a Piss-Take Rap.
  • Kurt's humiliating attempt the last time he tried to the Dice and Slice. He'd had some bad huevos rancheros before flying, and the intense G-forces caused him to soil himself right in front of the judges.
  • Kurt repeatedly crying during the montage of the kids' attempts to get him used to being upside-down again.

Bobby Driver

  • Gene repeatedly botches his serve trying to play badminton.
  • Edith's farting ends up giving away that her pills aren't for "fits", but gas.
  • When Bob tries to compliment Edith, Harold tells Bob "Stop flirting with my wife!"
  • How does Louise help Holden get even with his control-freak parents for throwing a boring party? By getting all the other kids at the party to pick their noses when they take one last group photo.

I Bob Your Pardon

  • After Bob nearly crashes while on the highway, an entire family driving by flips Bob off for his reckless driving, "including the baby."
  • Gene hears coyotes, but tries to convince himself the turkey will be okay because the coyotes will just blow themselves up with dynamite.
  • When the gas station cashier points out that cranberry sauce usually comes in a can, Bob says that you can use canned cranberry sauce, "If you're hollow inside and your heart is dead."
  • The flashback to Bob enjoying the cranberry bog.

Roller? I Hardly Know Her!

  • Gene and Alex's game Robot-Wizard Quest. The player is a robot who has to jump over numbered circles without the sum of those numbers exceeding their dice roll. If not, a wizard, represented by a mop with a wizard hat, casts a spell and the robot melts.
Louise: Circles and math It's the perfect game.
  • Gene singing Heart's "Alone" as he watches Alex and Courtney leave to practice their skating routine. Especially the part near the end when he's riding a unicorn for some reason.
  • Teddy thinks the woman outside the restaurant is a ghost pining after her lost husband, who he thinks died a long time ago on the spot where Bob's Burgers is now. His Imagine Spot starts with the implication that he suffered a Piano Drop, but then out of nowhere he's mauled by a tiger.
  • Bob finally asks the woman what she's doing outside the restaurant, and learns she's an agoraphobe named Brenda trying to overcome her fear of public spaces. He tries to help her into the restaurant, but Linda scares her off by greeting her very loudly.
    • The second time, Bob tells Linda and Teddy to just not look at her. Teddy tries to concentrate on a spot on the counter, but panics when he immediately loses sight of it. As for Linda, she can't hold it in and greets her loudly again.
  • Alex's mom starts chasing Courtney's dad around the roller rink for trying to sabotage Alex's act.

UFO No You Didn't

  • When it looks like it might be their last day on Earth, Tina gives Jimmy Jr. a big, wet Now or Never Kiss. Then she kisses Zeke for good measure. At the end of the episode, Zeke asks if he can have another kiss.
  • After Gene and Louise feel guilty for sabotaging Tina and Susmita's project with a bogus alien message, they give Tina the frozen yogurt gift card Henry bribed them with, with Gene assuring her they paid for it with their own money.
  • Susmita and Henry flirting with each other in Morse code.

Better Off Sled

  • Linda getting distracted by her daydream about "the Knitcracker".
  • At one point, Rudy's cousin Mandy high-fives Rudy so hard he falls over.
  • Logan and his friends bring in a basketball player who drops enormous snowballs on Mandy's head, leading to her getting snow down her pants and forcing an ignoble retreat.
  • Logan's Oh, Crap! reaction to Mandy and pretty much every varsity athlete she and her friends know showing up to defend the Belcher kids.

Lorenzo's Oil? No, Linda's

  • Upon learning that Linda is at an essential oils party, Gayle starts screaming, and continues screaming as she drives to pick up the kids and take them.
    Tina: Aunt Gayle, you're scaring me!
  • Gayle's obsession with peppermint oil drives her to straight-up shove a pair of bottles up her nose and spend much of the rest of the episode in a blissful daze.
  • Mr. Huggins awkwardly trying to make small talk with Bob and Teddy.

The Helen Hunt

Bed, Bob & Beyond

  • Gene narrating the rest of the British romcom that they tried to see. At one point, the tour guides tries to introduce himself, pausing while Gene tries to come up with his name.
  • Tina accidentally using the phrase "sea men spilling all over the deck".
  • The kids awkwardly work dirty laundry and broken beds into all their stories.

Every Which Way But Goose

  • Gretchen's terrible dates include a podiatrist she doesn't so much play "footsie" with as "try to kick him in the crotch".
  • Tina's obsession with Bruce the Goose reaches the point where she writes a "friend-fiction" where she and Bruce hook up and have half-goose, half-human babies.
  • Jimmy Jr. finally confesses why he couldn't go to the dance with Tina: he pulled a "butt-muscle" trying to learn a new dance move he saw on TV.

The Fresh Princ-ipal

  • How does Louise get Mrs. Schurr on her side? By letting her use Principal Spoors' private restroom.
  • Teddy helps Bob get over the yips by stealing Jimmy Pesto's underwear for Bob to wear. Apparently he bribed Trev with a fancy new dog house in exchange for stealing a pair from Jimmy's gym bag.
  • As the kids overwhelm Don with their problems and demands, he hastily excuses himself by saying he left an ice cream cake in his car, and runs like Hell.

Roamin' Bob-iday

  • The flashback to Bob's last burn-out features him working in the kitchen, wearing nothing but his underwear and an apron while repeatedly muttering "It's fine, I'm fine" to himself in a high-pitched voice. Then Linda comes in to check on him and Bob shouts "Hi, Leslie!"
  • Bob's argument with the hamburger who felt he used too much mustard.

What About Blob?

  • Linda and Teddy roasting Bob while trying to train Trev to refuse Jimmy's high-fives. Apparently Bob has a birthmark on his penis that makes it look like he has "a second pee-hole".
  • Tina isn't quite over Duncan, Sacha's transfer student friend from New Zealand. Judging by her reaction to him wearing loafers without socks, she thinks Duncan has really attractive ankles.

If You Love It So Much, Why Don't You Marionette?

  • Tina showing up in Louise's daydream when she interrupts her playtime to tell her breakfast is ready.
  • Esther's half-assed puppet show about stamps. She apparently does it because she thinks kids are still into stamp-collecting.
  • Louise helps Esther get her groove back... then Dot turns the fog machine up too high, and Esther trips and is sent to the hospital with four bruised ribs. She playfully tells Louise that her dragon puppet Vladicus is winking at her... and one of the paramedics chalks it up to Esther being loopy on painkillers.

Long Time Listener, First Time Bob

  • Louise introducing herself over the radio as "a pillar of fire with hammers for hands. You can't see me, you can't prove that I'm not."
  • Linda and Teddy gagging over the sweet potato pies... and yet they don't stop eating them.

The Gene Mile

  • Jimmy Jr. running, flailing his arms and legs like they were rubber. Makes even Tina's own stiff-hanging-arms run look graceful.
  • Bob once again talking to inanimate objects, this time his charging cell phone.
  • Gene recounting the last time they were late to free scoop Friday at the ice-cream shop. It ends with him letting out both a Big "NO!" and a Big "WHY?!" to the heavens because the only flavor left was rum raisin sorbet.

PTA It Ain't So

  • The Belcher kids manage to have way too much fun with a narrow length of PVC pipe, including using it to make "underwater fart noises" and dripping ketchup down the pipe.
  • Bob puts up reward posters for Mr. Kim's lost parrot. He made the mistake of letting the kids draw it, and they added a top hat, roller skates, and a fart cloud to their parrot drawing. The only respondent to the ad is a shifty guy with a box holding what is obviously a pigeon.
  • Why is Colleen wearing a shark costume when she and Linda expose Joanne? According to Bob, "Linda thought it'd be more dramatic."
  • Linda admits that she had trouble with the PTA spreadsheets at first, including confusing commas and decimcal points and confusing ones and lower case "L"s.

Yes Without My Zeke

  • The Running Gag of Jimmy Jr. yelling "Ow, my penis!"
  • Arnold shows off his "skills" and strikes a few karate poses.
    Arnold: How 'bout that?
    Gene: It looks very much like you're about to do the Robot.
  • What's Mr. Frond doing at school on a Saturday? Trying on some shirts he bought, because the second floor bathrooms at school have a really flattering mirror. He realizes one of his shirts is actually a women's camo tank-top, but decides it looks pretty good on him ("I'm not not pulling it off...")
  • Bob ends up sounding half-angry, half-excited when he talks Randy into letting him play Death in his movie.
  • Tina left a note explaining what happened to Mr. Branca's ladder (which they left in the ceiling space), signing from his "secret admirer".


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