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Funny / Blackkat's Reverse

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  • One time, Minato tried to share his mission's pay with Kushina. Her reaction was beating him on the head with her sheathed tantô then sending him to land head first in a puddle of mud by kicking him in the ass.
    • Kakashi almost got his head ripped off his shoulders when he tries to share his mission pay with Kurama; remembering the incident with Kushina, he decides that the redhead is a Uzumaki after all.
  • Kurama goes to Roushi asking to borrow a kunai, not realizing that going to someone while only wearing a towel after taking a bath might give the wrong idea. Roushi has this to say:
    Roushi: If this is a proposition, or some way of paying off the room. I'm flattered, but I need to get an early start.
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  • Gaara sneezes, squeaky like a mouse with a cold, and then looks deeply offended to have made such a sound.
  • Tenzo and Shisui get into an argument whether Hashirama or Tobirama would win in a fight. Tenzo points out Tobirama to rumored to hate the Uchiha while Shisui points out that Tobirama was rumored to have a relationship with his aide, Kagami Uchiha.
  • Earlier, they had agrument over who in Konoha had the best ass:
    For the record, Kakashi's name came up fourteen times, and he feels a little violated. Porn is one thing; this is another entirely. At least his beloved Icha Icha doesn’t give assessments and assign marks based on curvature and perkiness.
  • Really, Tenzo and Shisui bickering in general. Even Itachi is unable to stand it without trying to flee. As for Kakashi, he wonders if he was a murderous overlord hell bent on genocide in a previous life to deserve that team.
    • The natural transition into Belligerent Sexual Tension is glorious to watch, as well. As is everyone else's reaction to the idea.
    “Well,” Baki says dryly. “How long have they been married?”
    That…that is a horrifying thought. Kakashi grimaces and asks (possibly rather plaintively), “Must you plant those images in my head?”
    • After finding out Kurama kissed Kakashi:
    Tenzō is quiet for another moment, then smiles a little. “You know how he works,” he says, and it’s a bit warmer than normal. “I'm glad. Just…be careful."
    “Or,” Shisui adds with a grimace, “we’re going to be forced to try and kill you in the name of defending the captain’s honor, and I don’t want to die a virgin, okay?”
    One eyebrow rising, Kurama watches color flood Tenzō’s cheeks, though Shisui is busy making faces and doesn’t seem to notice. “Right. Well, I think you’ve probably got options there,” he says, and Tenzō gives him a look like a deer frozen in the path of a bijūdama.
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  • Roushi and Han have a routine too, with Roushi loudly complaining about their height difference. Han gleefully rubs his friend's Pint-Sized Powerhouse status in his face and gets kicked in the shins as a result.
  • Poor Hiruzen has to deal with the fallout of Kurama's campaign to help jinchuurikis: he's almost reduced to dive for the sake and his headache theatens to become permanent.
    • His doubts about Kurama's cover story disappearing when he learns what the guy is up to, because no one but a true Uzumaki would spread such an unholy amount of trouble in his wake.
  • Kurama describes the Androcles' Lion situation that led Fuji to him. The Freak Squad has an unfortunately correct assumption about this series of events.
    There's a moment of silence, and when Kurama glances up, a little confused, two and a half sets of eyes are staring at him with visible disbelief. “What?” he demands grouchily.
    With a low groan, Shisui buries his face in his hands. “We’ve been chasing a fairy tale hero,” he complains. “Oh my god, is that even a thing that happens? You rescue a helpless little creature and it repays you in your hour of need? Should I go around putting birds back in their nests and helping snakes across rivers?”
    Fairy tale hero,” Shisui repeats, and even Tenzō is shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s it, I give up. We never had a hope of catching you, did we?”
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  • Shisui tries to put shoes on Kurama while he's sleeping. Kakashi muses about putting "pranked a bijuu" as cause of death on the report.
  • Itachi's sheer level of Creepy Child-ness, at times.
    Kurama is an ancient chakra beast created from an alien tree that crash-landed on earth whose fruit was consumed by a crazy princess-goddess, and he’s been stuffed into an unfamiliar body, sent thirty years into the past, and given a mission to save the world by the first friend he ever made who was murdered right in front of him, and he still understands more about everyday human interactions than a genius shinobi eleven-year-old. That’s a pretty terrifying thought.
  • Little Naruto declares to the Kyuubi - a living embodiment of malevolence and hatred bearing a huge grudge towards humanity - that he will become his friend. The fox is speechless.
  • Kurama is left speechless at the irony that even Shukaku, insane after years of suffering a tremendously poorly constructed seal, was perfectly able to instantly recognize him even while he was wearing the older Naruto's body, and his own past self is so hopelessly deluded, he doesn't have the slightest idea of who he is.
  • Just...this image:
    • “Well, fuck,” Zabuza says, drifting up past Kurama. He’s upside-down, sword in one hand, Haku tucked under his other arm, and looks vaguely affronted to find himself in the grips of the new planetoid’s immense gravity.
  • Shisui starting to fear Kurama after the latter had threatened to eat his corpse.
    • Pretty much almost everything about Shisui, but special mention has to go to his reaction to finding out Kakashi and Kurama are an item now (in the middle of battle, no less), and then finding out Kurama is the Kyuubi. While in the middle of a very tense negotiation between Kakashi, Kurama, Kisame and Obito, after the latter two's Heel–Face Turn.
    Kisame: You okay, kid?
    Shisui: No, I am not okay, this is—this is—I have images in my head and they aren’t even nice images. Captain. Captain, I can't. You—the Kyuubi—You're fucking the Kyuubi!
    Obito's head snaps around, expression twisting into shock and no little horror, and he stares at Kakashi like he’s never seen him before.
    • Which Kakashi, naturally, responds with:
    Kakashi: (mildly) In my defense, he kissed me first.
    • The icing on the cake, of course, is afterwards, when Shisui realizes Kurama was being literal about eating him.
  • Kakashi's reaction to Kushina punching his father on his behalf is one in-universe and out.
  • The Third Hokage's reaction to Kushina's return from the dead.
  • Pretty much everything about the sidestories of 'through the cracks in reverse'.
    • Chapter 1: a short drabble where Sakumo flirts with Orichimaru. In front of Kakashi.
    • Chapter 2: A Slice of Life post-fic ficlet where Kurama hunts down Shisui for destroying Gaara's pillowfort. Ignoring that Shisui wasn't even in the country at the time.
    • Chapter 3: A crossover with Harry Potter, where Voldemort summons Kurama in the graveyard. Given Kurama's rabid Papa Wolf tendencies, he takes the sight of a tortured Harry and dead Cedric...badly.
    • Chapter 7: Where Kurama got sent back further. Everything about Minato is this.
    • Chapter 8: Obito and Kisame didn't get spit out into their own universe. They wound up in a different Narutoverse, running eighteen years behind theirs. It took them over a year to notice this.
      • The only reason they find out is due to meeting Sakumo. Who then proceeds to hit on Obito.
      “Any plans to untie me?” Sakumo asks, breaking the tense silence. “I don’t mind being at the mercy of a beautiful man, but it sounds like you have other things to do.”
      Oh gods. this is Kakashi’s father. Kakashi’s father is flirting with him. Obito doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
      “No,” he says flatly, leveling the pointed end of his staff at the man. “No way. You are going to give me nightmares, stop that now."
      • Obito and Kisame then immediately plan to take advantage of the situation...still in front of a very confused Sakumo.
      “Don’t be an idiot.” Obito tugs on his hand, and with a quiet chuckle Kisame leans down, kissing him gently. “Fine, we’ll go take over Kiri. You’ll be Mizukage and I can be your trophy wife. And beat Madara to a pulp the minute he pokes his nose outside of that cave of his.”
      “I'm sorry? Kiri? Madara?Sakumo says, slightly more insistent this time, and is summarily ignored.
      Kisame laughs. “You’ll make the best trophy wife,” he says agreeably.

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