- When Butch is in the process of arresting Wrath in Dark Lover.Beth: Wait. I need to ask him a question.Butch: You want to know his shoe size or something?Wrath: Fourteen.Butch: I'll remember that at Chrismas, asshole.
- Beth speculating about the source of the Brothers' wealth.Maybe they didnt just deal in crack, X, and heroin, she thought. Maybe they worked the antiques black market as well.Now there was a combo you didn't run across very often.
- The first time Butch runs into the Brothers. First these seemingly gangsters beat him and threaten his life, and then a butler comes in with a tray of spinach crepes and cocktail napkins. Butch is incredibly confused.
- Almost any interaction between Butch and Vishous. Especially the potato launcher incident.Butch: Damn Idaho bakers.
- In Lover Enshrined Qhuinn slices his cousin, Lash's throat open in defense of his friend, John Mathew, and is later called before the king, Wrath, to explain his actions. His first thoughts are riotously hilarious, sarcastic answers, among which include (paraphrasing):Qhuinn: I was just trying to give him a shave. I had no idea if you opened a sieve in someone's neck they'd be in danger.
- Anything the fallen angel Lassiter says, like, 99% of the time.
- Rhage gets a lot of good one-liners and completely off-the-wall jokes too.
- "I'm still convinced you've been doing my GTO, you bastard!" from Lover Eternal, page 250. Vishous mentions how since he grew a goatee Rhage has been heckling him about French-kissing a tailpipe. Cue above rejoinder from Rhage.
- Beth chooses Lassiter, the fallen angel, to perform her wedding ceremony. He shows up in full Elvis regalia.Lassiter: She said she wanted the holiest thing in the house to do it.Vishous: I'm the son of a deity and she picked you?
Lassiter: I knew I was going to need some ceremonial robes, and these were the ones I liked best. I found them at Gould's Costumes and More—boom! I'm nothing but a hound dog.Beth rubbed her temples. Vishous. She should have asked Vishous to do this.
- Butch doing the lineage regression and Wrath telling him the results.Wrath: You've got some of me in you, cop. Course, I always knew you were a royal. Just didn't think it went past the pain-in-the-ass part is all.
Funny / Black Dagger Brotherhood