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Funny / BioShock: Rapture

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  • Dr. Tenenbaum trying to get a sperm sample from someone (who mistakenly thought that they were going to do something else):
    Perhaps she'd thrust the needle into his gonad rather too vigorously. But for him to run screaming from the lab, naked from the waist down, with a syringe dangling from his groin, trailing blood and shrieking "That crazy bitch put a spike in my goddamn nuts!" seemed like an overreaction.
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  • One of Gorland's past aliases is "Wang". It's even funnier if you played the original game and recall Fontaine's boast about having spent six months as a "chinaman".
  • When Sander Cohen and Martin Finnegan use ADAM for the first time.
    And then he fell to the floor, shaking with spasms, fighting for breath. Waves of dark, hissing energy unfolded in him. He felt high, but he was also terrified. He was distantly aware that Cohen was dragging down his pants—“Presto plunge-oh!” Cohen whooped—and then came the piercing pain of the needle jabbing into Martin’s gluteus maximus."
  • Dr. Suchong and Tenenbaum's examination of Elaine McDonaugh, wife of Bill, at Suchong's free clinic during her pregnancy comes as as equally humorous and terrifying as its blatantly clear that neither of them have even the slightest hint of social graces or the ability to even act properly around a patient without considering them a lab experiment.
    Suchong was lifting up the hospital gown—and he and Tenenbaum were both leaning over the exam table, frowning at Elaine’s private parts. Suchong grunted, pointing. “Interesting distention, there and there—you see? Part of peculiar metamorphosis of pregnant woman.” “Yes, I see,” Tenenbaum said. “I have dissected many in this stage…” Suchong:“Enviable. Perhaps you have specimens?” Tenenbaum:“No, no, all my specimens were taken when the Americans came, but—

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