Wags: "We have to be more pure than the Virgin Mary before her first period."
Bobby and Chuck greeting each other at the Big Apple Circus and trying to be civil in front of Chuck's son - "Rhoades Junior." "Baron Von Axelrod."
Bobby versus the chairman of the New York Arts Foundation: "It's either Axelrod Hall, or Go Fuck Yourself Hall."
Bobby comments to Lara on the book he read to the kids before bedtime: "That Dolores Umbridge sure is a bitch, huh."
"Quality of Life":
After beating the charges, Dollar Bill is heroically received at the office with shouts of "Keyser, Keyser!"
Axe wants everybody to think that he and Dollar Bill aren't best friends anymore, so he asks him into his office, and tells him to pretend that they're having an argument. The entire staff watch from behind soundproof glass as Bobby and Bill shout compliments at each other right and left ("I love you like a brother, man!" "Me fucking too!"), with over-the-top body language to bring it home.
Bobby I'm gonna poke you now, poke me back!!! [...] Come bonus time, I'm going to show you so much love, you can start a third family!! Bill: TWO IS FUCKIN' PLENTY!!!
Season 2
Axe apparently decides off screen that the best way to serve papers to Chuck when he sues him is get some young man to crash a bike in front of him, and then have Chuck grab the bag full of papers while helping him up. It's so needlessly elaborate, and yet entirely in Axe's character.
In "The Oath", Wags has finally lost it - woken up at a motel near the Port Authority Bus Terminal with a tattoo on his ass of Yosemite Sam. Bobby and Wendy's queasy/horrified/amused reactions are the cherry on the sundae.
Chuck messing with Dollar Bill as he walks through Axe Capital for the deposition, pretending to look at whatever he was working on to make him flinch.
Kate Sacher's deadpan response to if she's ever been hunting: "No, I'm black." Funnier still is Chuck's complete misunderstanding of why that's a thing.
In "The Kingmaker", Kate and Bryan have both decided to attend one of Dr. Gus's motivational talks to see if he'll give up anything on Axe Capital. Bryan opens the door, we hear a crowd chanting "I WANNA KILL CHINA", and slowly closes the door again.
Lara calls the Rhoades residence to try and convince Wendy to come to Bobby's birthday party. Chuck picks up instead and what follows is an incredibly awkward conversation.
There is something very cute about Chuck just addressing the Attorney General(s) as "General". The diminutive sounds a bit too casual and juvenile, but at the same time, it also expresses some godly reverence, as if speaking to a reincarnation of George Washington.
Criminal conspiracy meeting: Wendy leaves for a moment, so Axe and Chuck start talking in a hushed tone about the need for a Fall Guy because they want to shield Wendy from all that framing and scheming. Wendy comes back and renders it all moot when she casually asks "So who's going to be our patsy?"
Ben Kim's strip dance to Nelly's "Hot in Here" in the elevator with the investors from Kansas City.
When Jeffcoat is relating to a (female) boss of the FBI that there are some men inside the Bureau acting improperly, he feels the need to add "probably some women too." The gal is certainly not amused by Jeffcoat's brand of inclusiveness.
Rhoades Sr.'s proud dissertation when he thinks Chuck needs his apartment to conduct an affair.
Senior: Monogamy is a form of socialism, it's testosterone redistribution so a few bucks don't keep all the does to themselves.
Senior: Don't bring the clap home to your husband. It's uncivil.
Season 4
Wags visits the Qadiri consulate to meet with Farhad, a representative of the sheikh. When Farhad tries to renegotiate the sheikh's two and twenty fee to Axe Capital on account of it being a very big account, Wags' response is pure Refuge in Audacity:
Wags: It doesn't matter if it's as swole as Dirk Diggler on his first night with Roller Girl. This is one of those rare cases where size does not actually matter. You know how the price of admission for women into your fine country is that they cover their ta-tas and donut? Well, our version of that is two and twenty. We won't stone you if you refuse, but we will kick you out of our fund.
Wags: To Bobby Axelrod, fees are religion and money is his god. This makes him the perfect shepherd for you in the material world. And at least when you pray to his god, you get another fucking Bentley out of it.
Chuck's park anywhere pass and just how useless it is no matter how hard he tries. Until he finally finds the one rich and powerful person in New York who has thousands of dollars in parking tickets and then his face lights up with childish glee.
Dollar Bill's Villainous Breakdown in "Chickentown", culminating in a humorous semi-recreation of the ending of Chinatown.
Wags: Forget it, Bill. It's Chickentown.
His rendition of "Atlantic City" in the middle of Axe Cap is also a highlight.
Wendy is horrified to see that none of the young traders she's nurtured can handle trading over the phone.
Ben: None of us have ever made a phone trade. We don't know how.
Wendy: Oh, there will be a seminar when this is over. Believe that, people!
Some of the reactions to Chuck's public announcement of his sadomasochism. The ones that stand out to this troper are Sara, Kate, Connerty, and Jeffcoat.
The training montage is, of course, set to "Eye of the Tiger" and is especially hilarious as neither Dollar Bill nor Mafee are anywhere remotely close to Rocky Balboa.
After much hype, the actual boxing match consists of a few rounds of very mediocre boxing after which both men are too exhausted to do much fighting. Barely able to throw punches (let alone land them), they resort to illegal moves like hitting below the belt and foot-stomping before both of them collapse in the ring at the same time. The increasingly exasperated commentators declare it to be the worst Wimp Fight they have ever seen. After a draw is declared, the disappointed spectators end up pelting the two men with litter.
The icing on this particular cake is the ecstatic reaction of Winston (the head quant at TMC) to the result; he won a ton of money because he was the only one to bet on a draw.
Chuck's scheme to get back at Jeffcoat for shutting down Senior's development involves rerouting a train carrying NYC's processed sewage to Texas and making sure the train (and the stench from its cargo) stops right next to Jeffcoat's rural property.
Wags has gone through something that made him lose faith in humanity. Wendy brings in a professional cuddler and they go to a closed room. Wags starts crying loudly. Axe reacts◊. As does Dollar Bill◊ and the other guys◊. After a successful session, he snags a depressed Ben Kim as he enters the work floor so that he can get his cuddle on.
Jeffcoat uses another of his animalistic metaphors and is actually surprised and disgusted about Bryan puzzled unfamiliarity with bullfighting.
Jeffcoat: God. Do they teach a man nothing about bullfighting anymore? "Querencia", place in a ring where the bull feels most safe...
Connerty and Jeffcoat are planning to arrest Rhoades, Sr.
Jeffcoat: You find his wrinkly ass.
Connerty: Actually, I've seen that ass, and I have to say, the old guy keeps it together.
Jeffcoat:[facial expression of horror and disbelief]
In "Lamster", Chuck ropes Brogan into his scheme to take Jeffcoat down:
Chuck: Brogan, you're going to sneak into the stables and kill Jeffcoat's horse.
Brogan: Okay.
Chuck: Jesus, I was joking! No more animal cruelty.
Jeffcoat tries, unsuccessfully, to intimidate Rhoades, Sr.
Jeffcoat: Do you have any idea what prison smells like?
Rhoades, Sr.: Is it DICK?!... I'm betting DICK.
Season 5
In "The Chris Rock Test", Chuck's buddy Judge DiGulio is discovered to have written an infamous memo about waterboarding. He swears that waterboarding isn't as bad as everyone says it is, it's not really torture. Gilligan Cut to Chuck, actually being waterboarded (by one of his staffers) yelling, "IT'S TORTURE!".
The moment in the gentleman's club when Wags realizes he's failed the titular test, when he finds his daughter working as a stripper. Followed by him meeting his eldest son in "Beg, Bribe, Bully" in the hopes that he will join Axe Capital, only to find that he's a Christian missionary come to "save" him:
Wags: I've lost them. One to the pole, and one to Jesus.
Tuk admits to Wendy that his girlfriend has dumped him, in large part because he makes strange noises when they cuddle. Later, while he and Ben Kim are posing as a gay couple as part of the Vart Bank sting, we hear Tuk making these noises when Ben strokes his neck. Tuk remarks that he can't help it.
In "The Nordic Model", Spyros becomes deeply insecure about his own intelligence when his pretending to be a Mensa member sinks a meeting between Axe and the chairwoman of the SEC. He struggles with questions from the Mensa test given by Ben Kim, which Mafee (of all people) continuously aces. Spyros eventually takes the test for real, and when he passes he proceeds to rub his Mensa membership card in the faces of everyone in the office who doubted him. Then it's revealed that Mafee, Ben and Tuk rigged the test from Mafee's computer (having predicted that Spyros failing it would provoke him to sabotage everyone else's trades to salve his pride), with Mafee remarking that this is the last nice thing he's ever doing for anybody. Ben Kim reminds him that it's in their natures (implying that they are good guys after all).
("I love you like a brother, man!" "Me fucking too!"), with over-the-top body language to bring it home.Bobby I'm gonna poke you now, poke me back!!! [...] Come bonus time, I'm going to show you so much love, you can start a third family!!
