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Episode 1 - "Uno"
- Jimmy McGill defends the three defendants in court by portraying it as some childish prank, stating that they were "feeling their oats one Saturday night and went a little bananas." The prosecution then proceeds to shows the video the defendants made: of them breaking into a morgue, cutting off a dead body's head, and having sex with it.
- The prosecution doesn't say a word, as where Jimmy had to make a big speech, all he does has to do is wordlessly roll in a TV, and let the evidence speak for itself.
- Jimmy isnt happy with the amount of money on his check for the trial and complains to the Contract Council Administrator Lady.Jimmy: [sticks check on window] What the hell kind of math is that?!
CCA Lady: $700 per defense.
Jimmy: No, no, no. "Defendant. Dant." Three defendants, $2,100, which, by the way, bargain—what I did for them!
CCA Lady: They're going to jail, aint they?
Jimmy: So?! Since when does that matter?! They—they had sex with a head!
CCA Lady: Look, didnt nobody tell you to try all three of them together. One trial, $700.
Jimmy: Youre gonna miss me. You are gonna miss me, 'cause itll be a cold day in Hell before I do any more P.D. work for this shitty court! [slaps his hand on the counter] Sayonara, baby!
CCA Lady: You have yourself a nice day.
- Jimmy is about to leave the parking lot in his car. He stops at the lot entrance and hands his ticket to the attendant.Mike: [clears his throat] $3.
Jimmy: Uh, Im validated, see the stickers?
Mike: No, I see five stickers. Youre one shy. Its $3.
Jimmy: [sighs] They gave me—look. [sighs] Im validated for the entire day, okay? Five stickers, six stickers—I dont know from stickers, because I was in that court back there saving peoples lives, so
Mike: Well, gee, thats swell. And thank you for restoring my faith in the judicial system. Now you either pay the $3, or you go back inside and you get an additional sticker. [hands back parking ticket]
Jimmy: [mutters angrily] Son of a bitch. [scoffs] Fine. [takes parking ticket] You win. Hooray for you. [scoffs] [yells loudly at the driver behind him] Backing up! I have to back up! I need more stickers! Dont have enough stickers! Thank you! Thank you — very nice!
[Jimmy backs up his car, then drives and parks it next to a fence and a yellow barrier. He gets out of the car and shuts the door.]
Jimmy: Employee of the Month over here! Yeaaah! [claps his hands] Hooray! Give him a medal! [to the two police officers standing nearby] Dont do anything, guys. Just relax, all right?
- Jimmy channeling his inner Network in his first meeting with Howard.
- After Jimmy accidentally hits Cal Lindholm with his car, Cal and his brother Lars both want Jimmy to pay them $500 for Cals (supposed) injuries. As a former con artist, Jimmy knows the telltale signs of a scam, and figures it all out right away. So he immediately kicks Cal and berates the boys for trying to scam him.Cal: Ow! What the hell, man?!
Jimmy: Listen, Starlight Express, I'm gonna give you a 9.6 for technique, 0.0 for choice of victim. I'm a lawyer! [chuckles while wheezing and gestures to his Suzuki Esteem] Furthermore, does this steaming pile of crap scream "payday" to you, huh?! The only way that entire car is worth 500 bucks is if there's a $300 hooker sittin' in it! Now, let's talk about what you owe me for the windshield.
[Cal and Lars look at each other, then run around Jimmy, grab their skateboards, and flee.]
Jimmy: You — what? [grunts] Ill take a check!
- Jimmy comes across his new accomplices.
- Cal: How did you find us?
[Pans out to a wider view of a skate park]Jimmy: I know... eerie, right?
Episode 2 - "Mijo"
- Jimmy's nervous chatter and attempt to explain things to Tuco.Jimmy: Im gonna make an educated guess what happened here. My two clients, Frick and Frack, the mop heads, were in a simple traffic accident. A minor fender bender, but maybe they were on the wrong side of the street or didnt look both ways. It could happen to anyone. My clients, exhibiting extremely poor judgement, followed your grandmother to this delightful, well-tended home. Now, at this juncture Im deducing that they said or did something that crossed a line. And you, with some justification, put them in their place. Based on the "salsa" stain there, it could have gone a couple ways. Bottom line, not to be morbid, but if theyre dead, Im guessing that Im [collects himself] Im gonna go with glass half full here and say theyre not. My point is, if theyre still alive, why kill us, because of a misunderstanding? Our own stupidity? Why mess up your lovely Abuelitas place? Why jump to the nuclear option? Im saying keep it simple. I will collect my moronic clients, and poof! We are gone. Neither you nor your lovely Abuelita will lay eyes on us ever again. Guaranteed. Signed sealed and delivered. Assuming, you know, that theyre still breathing.
Tuco: [slightly baffled] Wow. You got a mouth on you.
Jimmy: Thank you?
- Jimmy's capture by Tuco Salamanca is otherwise very tense and filled with Nightmare Fuel. At the desert, Tuco interrogates Jimmy who is on his knees, pleading for his life. It's the most extreme use of Black Comedy you could ever face.Tuco: You know what I smell. I smell lies. I smell pork. [He places a wire cutter on Jimmy's finger.]
Jimmy: No. Thats not necessary.
Tuco: Okay, we know youre with the heat. The question is, who? Local? FBI?
Jimmy: No, no, no.
Jimmy: No, Im a lawyer. Just reach in my pocket right now — right there!
[Tuco takes a matchbook out of Jimmy's pocket, looks at it and throws it away.]
Jimmy: That is the truth! Im a lawyer! Guys, I passed the bar! Ask me anything! Not contract law, okay? Im down at the court every day! People know me. Im a known quantity — I am! [Tuco applies more pressure on the wire cutter. Jimmy cringes.] Im — Im special agent Jeffrey Steele, FBI.
Jimmy: FBI. Im undercover, okay? You got me. Im the tip of the spear, and releasing me would be a smart move.
- Nacho deciding to take it from there as Tuco is buying the bullshit.
- Tuco's absurdly violent and Comically Missing the Point ideas to punish skateboarders Cal and Lars Lindholm are hilarious, if terrifying. Jimmy gradually negotiating him down to only breaking 1 leg on each guy (as each of them are tied up and making muffled noises due to duct tape over their mouths) is Black Comedy from start to finish.Jimmy: These — these 2 shit-for-brains? These big-mouths? You — you already beat the living hell out of them. Do you think theyre ever gonna forget today? Never — 10 years from now, theyre still gonna be crapping their jockeys.
Tuco: Its not enough.
Jimmy: Okay, okay. Then lets talk proportionality. Theyre guilty — agreed. Now you have to decide whats the right sentence?
Tuco: Like a judge.
Jimmy: Like a judge. Ever heard of the Code of Hammurabi — let the punishment fit the crime, eye for an eye?
Tuco: Eye for an eye. You want me to blind them.
Jimmy: No, no. All they did was trash-talk.
Tuco: So I cut their tongues out!
Jimmy: Wait. See, Im advising that you make the punishment fit the crime.
Tuco: Punishment fit the crime. Columbian neckties — I cut their throats, and then I pull their lying tongues through the slits! BIZNATCH!
Jimmy: Or you — you could give them black eyes.
Tuco: Black eyes? [laughs] That aint nothin'!
No Doze: That one there, holmes — he already got a black eye, fool.
Tuco: [turns to No Doze] Stop helping.
Jimmy: Or you could sprain their ankles.
Jimmy: Theyre — theyre skateboarders, right? That — thats how they run their scam. They cant skate. You — you hit them where they live.
Tuco: I aint spraining nothing, bitch. Im gonna break their arms. And Im gonna break their legs.
Jimmy: Arms? When — when did we get on to arms? Lets...
Tuco: Im cutting their legs off.
Jimmy: But — we could go that way. But — we were talking about breaking. I think were heading in the wrong direction.
Tuco: Okay. Break their legs.
Jimmy: How many legs?
Tuco: 2, they got 2 legs.
Jimmy: 1 leg — each.
Tuco: 1 leg each?
Jimmy: Theyre... 1 leg each, thats a total of 2 legs. Uh, hey, look. They cant skateboard for 6 months, and they are scared of you forever. You show everybody that you are the man, but that youre fair, that youre just.
Tuco: [extends his hand out to Jimmy] 1 leg each.
Jimmy: [shakes Tucos hand] Its tough, but its fair.
- With both Cal and Lars Lindholm having broken legs, Jimmy drives them to the hospital as they are moaning and groaning in pain. Lars tells Jimmy that he is not very good at being an attorney.Jimmy: [opens car door] Here you go. Here you go. Easy, easy.
Lars: [moaning] You — you — you — [screams in pain]
Jimmy: [helps Lars into a wheelchair] Save your breath.
Lars: [moaning] You—you are—you are the worst lawyer, the worst lawyer ever!
Jimmy: [shuts car door and begins wheeling Lars towards the emergency room] Hey, I just talked you down from a death sentence to 6 months probation. [Lars continues to breathe and moan heavily] Im the best lawyer ever.
- At a restaurant, Jimmy hears the sound of breadsticks breaking and it reminds him of the skateboarders getting broken legs. Then he proceeds to vomit in the mens restroom. It says a lot that this is also under Nightmare Fuel.
- A Hard-Work Montage shows Jimmy doing typical things that are standard for his lawyer career, with Adventurous Irish Violins to accompany it.
- Jimmy talks with Deputy District Attorney Oakley as both of them are walking down the stairs in the courthouse.DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior.
Jimmy: The kid took a slice of pizza.
DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior.
Jimmy: Look, the parents are a train wreck. Theres no food in the house! He was hungry!
DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior.
Jimmy: [whining] Come on!
- Jimmy goes to exit the parking lot, but just like in the previous episode, Mike wont let him pass through the toll booth gate without proper validation.[Jimmy hands Mike his parking ticket]
Mike: Youre light on stickers.
Jimmy: Come on.
Jimmy: You serious?
Mike: You got 4. You need 5.
Jimmy: Theres 4 90-minute stickers there.
Mike: Youve been here 6 hours and 5 minutes.
Jimmy: It takes 10 minutes to walk down here!
Mike: $5, or you go get another sticker.
[Jimmy takes back the ticket, drives his car in reverse, and parks it. He shuts the driver door.]
Jimmy: [shouting] This makes you feel real important, huh?! Not enough stickers?! More stickers?!
- Jimmy and DDA Oakley converse a second time in the mens restroom.DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior. [flushes urinal]
Jimmy: Prior will stay on his sheet for life.
DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior. [washes hands]
Jimmy: [sighs] Youre overcharging him.
DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior.
- At the toll booth gate, Jimmy tries explaining his sticker situation to Mike.Jimmy: That lady up there — she shorts me every time, okay? This is not a me problem — this is a you problem.
[Mike hands back Jimmys parking ticket. Jimmy sighs as he takes it, being frustrated.]
- As Jimmy grabs a bag of Fritos from the vending machine, DDA Oakley walks by and they talk to each other a third time.DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior.
Jimmy: Misdemeanor shoplifting.
DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior.
Jimmy: [pleading] Come on, meet me halfway.
DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior.
Jimmy: [sighs] I cant do it.
DDA Oakley: Petty with a prior.
Jimmy: Okay, or how about this? I plead the kid to the sheet, but you give me a continued sentence. And in 6 months, if hes still clean, you file for a dismissal. Come on, this is how you wanna spend your time? You can have the rest of these. [offers him the bag of Fritos]
[DDA Oakley takes the bag of Fritos, and both guys walk away in separate directions.]
- At the toll booth gate, Jimmy gives Mike the parking ticket and Mike gives it right back without even looking at it or saying anything. Cut to Jimmy slamming his car door as he gets out.Jimmy: [shouting] Youre like a troll under a bridge! [Mike closes the toll booth window.] [mockingly] "You must have the stickers or you wont pass!" Troll alert here! Dont feed it!
- Jimmy talks with Deputy District Attorney Oakley as both of them are walking down the stairs in the courthouse.
Episode 3 - "Nacho"
- In a flashback, Chuck visits Jimmy in prison. Jimmy apologizes to Chuck for making him travel from Albuquerque, and then makes a statement about the city.Jimmy: Only 2 things I know about Albuquerque: Bugs Bunny shoulda taken a left turn there, and gimme 100 tries, Ill never be able to spell it. [laughs]
- Late at night, Jimmy calls Kim Wexler at her home from the Vietnamese day spa where his work office is located. Kim, who was woken up and asleep, picks up:Kim: Hello?
Jimmy: Hey. Its me. [Kim turns her light on]
Kim: Jimmy? Whats, uh Jesus, what time is it?
Jimmy: Clock says 2:00, but I think that might be Ho Chi Minhs timezone.
Kim: What? Whats happening? Is Chuck alright?
Jimmy: Yeah. Chuck Chuck is Chuck. Everythings alright. But I just wanted to call you, so, uh hey, what ya doin?
Kim Jimmy. [leans back] No. Im not talking dirty to you.
Jimmy: What? What, you think thats the only reason I would call you at this time of night? I mean Kim, just, give me a little bit of credit, ok?
Kim: And youre not talking dirty to me either.
Jimmy: OK, bye.
Kim: I knew it.
- Jimmy enters the day spa's closet and purposely unravels an entire roll of paper towels just so he can use the cardboard tube it is wrapped around.
- Jimmy calls the Kettleman family from a remote payphone during the night. On the first 2 tries, he ends up getting their Funny Answering Machine. Cringe Comedy at its finest.The Kettlemans: [all] Hello! Youve reached Team Kettleman!
Craig: Please leave a message for Craig —
Betsy: Betsy —
Warren: Warren —
Jo Jo: and Jo Jo —
The Kettlemans: [all] After the beep!
- When Craig Kettleman does answer the phone on Jimmy's third attempt of calling, Jimmy warns Craig and Betsy about their impending danger, and attempts to use the cardboard tube from the paper towel roll (with some tape on the end) to disguise his voice. Naturally, they can't really understand him so he abandons the tube, quickly warns them with his own voice, and hangs up.
- In the mens restroom at the Albuquerque courthouse, Jimmy tries negotiating with Deputy District Attorney Oakley about a deal for one of his clients named Desmond Rojas, but DDA Oakley thinks Jimmy is talking about someone else named Daryl Redwood. After saying "my bad", he tells Jimmy to start over and Jimmy gets ticked off.Jimmy: [takes DDA Oakleys blue folder; madly] I am not starting over. Im busting my nut here every day for 700 a throw, inhaling your B.M., which is straight from Satans bunghole, and you cant tell one defendant from another?!
- At the toll booth gate, Jimmy doesnt have enough money or stickers to get out:Jimmy: Dammit. Here. Im in a real rush. I didnt have time to get the validation. [Jimmy hands Mike the ticket. Mike hands it back]Mike: Fine, 9 bucks. [Mike goes back to his crossword while Jimmy scrounges in his pockets for loose cash]Jimmy: I-I dont have it. I have $5. Please?Mike: You know the drill. Money or the validation.Jimmy: Look, this is an emergency, a serious, serious emergency, I have to get out of here. I promise, on the souls of my forefathers, I will get you the stickers when I come back! I will get you extra if you just let me go![Mike ignores him]Jimmy: [angrily] FINE! FINE! Youre gonna make me walk back and get the stickers?! I will walk back and get the stickers!Mike: [irked] Im not making you do anything. Those are the rules.Jimmy: [still angry] Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night![Jimmy sees Mike is preoccupied with his crossword, so he reaches over and presses the button in the booth which raises the cross arm. It goes up and Jimmy drives away fast]Jimmy: [shouting out his car window angrily] SCREW YOU, GEEZER!
- At the Kettlemans' house, Jimmy informs Kim about the telephone call he made to the Kettleman family the previous night. Along with that, he also explains why he could be in jeopardy.Jimmy: I called the Kettlemans after I hung up with you; I gave them a warning call.Kim: A warning call?Jimmy: Yeah, I was worried that my guy Varga was going after their money. And he was. He was gonna rip them off. I deduced it from a conversation that we had. It was lawyer to client, so there was, you know, confidentiality issues. But I called the Kettlemans anonymously to warn them.Kim: Anonymously? You didnt ...[realizes]....Oh, god, you didnt—you didnt do the sex-robot voice, did you?Jimmy: I did, with the tube and whole thing, which probably scared the living shit out of them, and they took off, which, you know, file that under "unintended consequence", but you — you believe me now?Kim: Um...Jimmy: Great. Now we have to find them. I mean — or, better yet, get the cops to let Varga go because right now my ass is on the highway to the danger zone.Kim: Well, why are you in danger?Jimmy: Nacho Varga — he didnt kidnap the family, but hes a bad guy. Hes a very bad guy. And if the cops keep pushing him, theyre gonna find something. And when that happens, Nacho blames me, and then his guys turn me into a meat piñata.
- Jimmy returns to the parking lot toll booth so he can go to the police station and talk to Nacho Varga. Mike wont give him a parking ticket (because of what happened earlier) and suggests to Jimmy that he park in some other place. Jimmy then decides to leave his car at the entrance.Jimmy: Hey. Im gonna — Im gonna park right here! [gets out of his car]Mike: I dont think you wanna be doing that. [He steps out of the toll booth; Jimmys car door shuts.]Jimmy: Oh yeah?! What are you gonna do? You gotta poop-filled diaper in there? You gonna throw it at me? Are you gonna gum me to death, huh, geezer?! [He tries to grab Mike, but Mike grabs his arm, twists it, and knocks him to the ground.] Ohh, Whoa, ow! OW! Ow! Oh! Ohh! Ohh! Ow! Ow!
Mike: Shut up! Or I'll bitch-slap you 'til you can't see!Jimmy: That's a threat!
- The outtake version:
- Jimmy discovers the Kettlemans camping in the woods near their house. After calling Kim on his cell phone to tell her he found them, he scares them by channeling Jack Torrance from The Shining.Jimmy: [opens the Kettlemans' tent] HERE'S JOHNNY!!! [Kettlemans scream]
- Betsy Kettleman and Jimmy get into a tug-of-war with a red duffel bag. The bag opens up and all of Craig Kettleman's embezzled money falls out of the bag.Jimmy: [deadpan] Yeah. [sighs]note
Episode 4 - "Hero"
- In a flashback, Jimmys friend Marco Pasternak is lying down in an alley as part of the fake Rolex scam. After Jimmy pokes him with a long stick, he starts insulting Jimmy and the other guy named Stevie (the victim) as he continues lying motionless with his eyes closed. Marco sings his own version of "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple.Jimmy: Hey, would you answer me?Marco: [groans] Hey, [lifts up middle finger] answer this you butthole.Jimmy: What? Butthole? What?Marco: ♪ Uh-huh-huh, uh-huh-huh-huh ♪Stevie: Hey, uh hey bro, be nice, all right? This guy right here is trying to help you.Marco: ♪ Uh-huh-huh ♪ [lifts up middle finger again] Help yourself to some of this, you butthole.Stevie: [annoyed] Hey.Jimmy: Hey, were not buttholes, all right? So stop saying that.Stevie: Yeah.Marco: ♪ Butt-butt hole, butt-butt-butt hole ♪Jimmy: Hey, man. Whats your problem?Marco: ♪ Butt-butt. ♪ Butt. [slurring] My problem is Im standing here talkin' to a couple buttholes.Stevie: Actually, youre not standing, you fat bastard. Youre laying on your fat ass. [chuckles]Marco: [slurring] Hey, Ill roundhouse-kick you right in your head. If you think I wont, Ill come to the McDonalds where you work. Ill buy — the whole damn place and Ill fire ya. Ill say "Drop your mops, you buttholes, 'cause youre fired." And then Ill roundhouse-kick you right in your stupid heads. Then Ill go "John"-Claude Van Damme on you s-s-s [snores] you butthole. [continues snoring]
- Out in the woods during the nighttime, Betsy gives Jimmy some Insane Troll Logic to justify Craigs embezzlement of money, to the tune of $1.5 million, from the county treasury. The logic sounds like an Onion article.Betsy: Just because youre salaried doesnt mean you dont deserve overtime. I - I think thats only fair.Craig: I mean, really, thats what this is about.Betsy: Yeah.Craig: Right?Betsy & Craig: Fairness.Betsy: Right, I mean, not just whats legal. If you wanna talk about legal, slavery — that used to be legal — Human slavery, so...Jimmy: Yeah, this is right up there with that.
- Howard Hamlin threatens Jimmy with a trademark infringement lawsuit because of Jimmy's new billboard that is intentionally ripping off the design used for the Hamlin, Hamlin & McGill branding. In front of a judge, Howard states details about the HHM branding. Jimmy has to question him about one specific part of the brand image:Jimmy: I think it falls firmly under fair use.Howard: Fair use? Youre clearly profiting, so fair use doesnt apply.Jimmy: It—there are only so many fonts out there. Does Mr. Hamlin outright own them all?Howard: No, but we've been using this particular font for 12 years now, and it, in concert with our tri-rectangle graphic and Hamlindigo Blue, constitutes a trademarked brand identifier.Jimmy: Whoa, whoa. Back up. Hamlindigo Blue?Howard: Yes. That is our trademarked name.Jimmy: Holy crap. You seriously named a color "Hamlindigo"? That is...yikes.Howard: "Yikes"? From the man dressed exactly like me? Your Honor, I feel like I'm in the mirror routine with Groucho Marx, like we should be standing, waving our arms at each other!Jimmy: Really? I don't see it.
- The billboard worker falls off the billboard platform and is dangling by a safety cord and harness. As Jimmy climbs on a ladder that leads to the billboard ladder so he can help the worker in distress, the camera guy capturing footage of the dangling billboard man thinks what Jimmy is doing is also dangerous.Camera Guy: [yelling to Jimmy] Hey, man, I dont think thats very safe! You need to be, like, licensed for that! [resumes shooting]
- Jimmy hides the Albuquerque Journal newspaper from Chuck due to his billboard story being a major headline. He ends up lying to Chuck about where the newspaper went.Jimmy: Oh, yeah. [sighs] I didnt see it outside.Chuck: Wasnt out there? Its always out there.Jimmy: I didnt see it. Heh. Maybe they forgot to deliver it. Maybe some kids grabbed it. Heh.Chuck: Because if theres one thing kids love, its local print journalism.
- Chuck realizes that Jimmy is intentionally hiding the Albuquerque Journal newspaper from him, so he runs outside while wearing his space blanket and snatches his neighbor's paper (Leaving a $5 bill so it's not stealing). The old lady whose newspaper he stole was watching the whole time through the window, with a very perplexed facial expression.
Episode 5 - "Alpine Shepherd Boy"
- As it turns out, the old lady who had her newspaper stolen by Chuck put garlic cloves on her driveway (as the opening shot shows). Clearly, she thought her neighbors strange behavior has something to do with vampirism.
- A man by the name of Richard "Ricky" Sipes who owns a big house and 1,100 acres of land in the countryside wants Jimmys help to allow his property to secede from the United States of America. Ricky offers a payment of $1 million, half up front, for Jimmys services. Jimmy sees that the $100 bills have Rickys face plastered on them, and the scene cuts to him driving away as fast as possible (the fact that no bank will ever take such obviously counterfeit money might have something to do with it).
- A man named Roland Jaycox wants Jimmy to help him get a patent for his invention called "Tony the Toilet Buddy", which he demonstrates in his garage. Roland seems ignorant to the fact that his phrases of encouragement for toilet-training children clearly sound more like sexual innuendos than something child-appropriate, until Jimmy points it out to him.[Roland pulls back a big blue tarp to reveal a toilet.]
Jimmy: I may have seen one of these before.
Roland: Not like this. This one has this little unit I've added. This is my invention. Do you have children?
Roland: My wife and I have 2 boys... 4 and 6. And let me tell you toilet-training them? Nightmare, both times. They just didn't want to use the commode. So I wired a motion sensor to a voice chip, and, well, no sense getting all technical, but it's all about positive reinforcement. Meet "Tony the Toilet Buddy". And when you sit down to do your business, this is how he works.
[Roland drops a wooden block in the toilet bowl]
"Tony the Toilet Buddy": Ohhh, yeah! That's the way! [Roland drops another wooden block in the toilet bowl] Gosh, you're big! You're sooooooo big! My goodness, look at you! [Roland drops another wooden block in the toilet bowl] Fill me up, Chandler! Put it in me!
Roland: Chandler's my youngest — loves it.
[Roland drops another wooden block in the toilet bowl.]
"Tony the Toilet Buddy": Give it to me, Chandler! I want it all! Mmmmmmm! Aaaaahhhhhh!
Roland: Anyway, it goes on from there. You get the picture.
Jimmy: Yeah, I, uh... Yeah.
Roland: So, what do you think?
Jimmy: It's a little sexual, maybe?
Roland: [confused] Sexual? What—what does that...
Jimmy: Suggestive, maybe—maybe that's a better word. Heh. Look, I'm not—I'm not saying this thing won't make you rich. I mean, some of your wealthier Pacific Rim nations, they'll love this, the crazy bastards. Heh.
Roland: I created this for children. Children, understand?
Jimmy: Well, hey, Viagra was originally invented to treat hypertension. Look how that turned out.
[Roland frowns at Jimmy. Cuts to Jimmy leaving the house while a very angry Roland walks after him]
Roland: [angrily] You're completely disgusting, you know that?!
Jimmy: Hey, buddy, you're the one with the sex toilet.
Roland: [still angry] Get off my property!
Jimmy: Hey, you know what? I hope you do make a fortune, cause Chandler's gonna need it to help pay for his therapy!
- It's funny that Roland shouts "Get off my property!" when Jimmy is already leaving.
- As one YouTube user noted in the comments section, "You know it's pretty bad if 'Slippin Jimmy' won't take your case."
- As Jimmy helps Mrs. Strauss with her will, he makes a correction for which person gets a certain figurine.Mrs. Strauss: Very sharp, Mr. McGill. And here I thought all lawyers were idiots.
Jimmy: No, only half of us are idiots. The other half are crooks. [both laugh]
- At the Vietnamese day spa during the night, Jimmy gives Kim a pedicure while also doing an impression of "Tony the Toilet Buddy".Kim: So... Hows it go again?
Jimmy: [imitating "Tony"] Ohhhhh, youre huge, Chandler! Youre a big, big boy! Oh, where does it end?! Oh, dont stop, Chandler! Dont stop! [Kim chuckles] Oohhh, here it comes! Oh, what is that? Is that a piece of corn?
Kim: [laughing] No, dont. Stop.
Jimmy: [still imitating] Did you eat corn, Chandler?
Kim: Thats disgusting.
Jimmy: [still imitating] Is that a niblet I see, Chandler?
Kim: No, dont.
Jimmy: [normal] Too much? Hey, good times.
Kim: Oh. Even your lousy days are more interesting than my good ones.
- Jimmy leaves the parking lot at night and talks to Mike who is still working at the moment. He gives Mike his business card.Jimmy: Heeeeey, there he is. The man in the booth, John Wilkes Booth, Booth Tarkington. Whatchu readin' there, The Complete Annotated Book of Rules for Parking Validation?
Mike: No, the rules for parking validation are actually pretty simple. Most people get it on the first try.
Jimmy: Well, youll be pleased to know I have the requisite stickers. [hands over parking ticket]
Mike: [deadpan] Well, be still my heart.
Jimmy: Aaand... you can have this, as well. [hands over business card] Im doing elder law now. Need a will? Call McGill. So, give me a call if you, uh — uh, if, uh, you happen to know any elders.
Mike: [slightly annoyed] Good night. [presses button to lift cross arm]
Jimmy: Couldnt have a bad one if I tried. [He drives away.]
Episode 6 - "Five-O"
- Mike requests a lawyer to be present in the interrogation room at the police station. Jimmy shows up and one of the Philadelphia detectives named Greg Sanders points out Jimmy's suit.Jimmy: Hey, fellas. How you doin? James McGill, here to see my client. [Beat] What?
Greg: You look like Matlock.
Jimmy: Uh, no, I look like a young Paul Newman dressed as Matlock.
Episode 7 - "Bingo"
- Jimmy brings some boxes (with case files containing important documents) from his car into Chucks house because his office is running low on space. Chuck isnt too sure he wants it there, but Jimmy reassures him.Jimmy: Just be for a little while, okay? Im practically sleeping on these things back at my place.
Chuck: [surprised] Business is that good?
Jimmy: Heh, its booming — streets of gold. Yeah. Ill get these outta here as quick as I can. I just need to file the 4-13s on some of these wills, and uh, Ill be outta your hair.
Jimmy: Personal property statements.
Chuck: You mean 5-13s.
Jimmy: Yeah, sorry. I was just working with some of these seniors. Maybe the dementias contagious, huh? [chuckles]
- Mrs. Landry wins a kitten notebook prize at bingo. She then proceeds to go on about the two cats she once had.
- In the midst of the meeting with the Kettlemans at Loyolas Diner, Jimmy excuses himself to the men's restroom so he can privately call Kim.
- After returning from the phone call in the men's restroom, Jimmy tries to persuade Craig and Betsy Kettleman to go back to HHM to take their offer for a plea bargain. Betsy denies the existence of the money (again) and Jimmy criticizes her about it.Betsy: Yeah, there will be no deal. There is no money with which to make a deal.
Jimmy: We—can we all three just parachute down from cloud cuckooland? 'Cause we know, without question, there is money.
Betsy: No there-
Jimmy: [points his index finger at Betsy] I distinctly remember a spirited game of tug-of-war over this money, money which we then discussed at length. You made many excuses justifying your possession of said money. Its there. It exists. [Betsy stammers trying to interrupt.] S-shh. [cringing] Now, just, please, for my own sanity. [clears his throat] You cant hide a big bag of cash forever, and you certainly will never be able to spend any of it.
- Jimmy looks at the bag of money Mike successfully stole from the Kettlemans' house at night.Jimmy: Jesus... Gets bigger every time I look at it. Thanks for not heading to the Bahamas with this.
Episode 8 - "RICO"
- In a flashback, Jimmy uses a simile to describe passing the bar examination to Chuck.Jimmy: The bar exams a mother. I mean, for me it was. I failed it the first 2 times, but I guess its like losing your virginity — third times the charm.
- At night, Jimmy goes searching for shredded papers in a dumpster near the Sandpiper Crossing assisted living facility. As he is looking for the evidence, two employees from Sandpiper Crossing come by and dump more garbage on top of Jimmy as they talk to each other.
- After the 2 employees walk away, Jimmy gets a cell phone call from Sandpiper Crossings attorney named Rick Schweikart. Jimmy claims he can't talk loud because he's at the opera. He makes an insult to Rick after their conversation ends.Rick: This is a shakedown, and we both know it. Now, if you push this any further, my hands will be tied. Sorry for interrupting your evening. Enjoy "The Magic Flute". [hangs up]
Jimmy: Blow my magic flute.
- When Jimmy exits the dumpster (after his horrific ordeal of searching), the lid falls on his head as he gets out, and when he kicks it he just ends up on the ground himself. Then it turns out the shredded papers he was looking for as evidence was in the recycling cans next to the dumpster.
- After the 2 employees walk away, Jimmy gets a cell phone call from Sandpiper Crossings attorney named Rick Schweikart. Jimmy claims he can't talk loud because he's at the opera. He makes an insult to Rick after their conversation ends.
- Chuck wakes up in the morning and sees Jimmy putting shredded papers back together. Jimmy informs Chuck that what he is doing is legal.Chuck: What is all this? What have you done to my dining room?
Jimmy: They were spoliating — the Sandpiper people. They wouldnt let me in, and I could see that they were shredding. I wrote em a demand letter and I gave it to em.
Chuck: You broke in to a nursing home?
Jimmy: Assisted living.
Chuck: And you stole their garbage. My God.
Jimmy: No, it was in public. There was no lock, no nothing. I just lifted the lid, and there it was. There's no reasonable expectation of privacy in that situation, is there? You can't say it's private if a hobo can use it as a wigwam.
Episode 9 - "Pimento"
- When Chuck and Jimmy go back into the house after sitting on a bench, Chuck notices that the house needs a coat of paint.
- In a parking garage, a man named Sobchak (both a reference to The Big Lebowski and Grand Theft Auto V) dares Mike to take his gun from his hand. When Mike knocks it away out of his hand, Sobchak gets mad and Mike clubs him in the throat with the end of the gun, which causes Sobchak to gasp for air and fall to the ground. Then Mike cheerfully analyzes the other guns Sobchak has with him.Mike: Okay, lets see what you got. [pulls out a gray Kimber Custom pistol] Yeah, yeah, yeah. A guy like you, Ill bet youd have an ankle holster, wouldnt ya? [pulls out a small black Ruger pistol from Sobchaks ankle] You know, thats cute. What else?
[He kicks Sobchak, who continues to grunt and cough. Mike pulls out a black Desert Eagle]
Mike: Wow. Now, thats impressive. So many guns, I dont know which one to use. [turns to a big guy Sobchak called "Man Mountain".] How bout you. You want one?
- "Man Mountain" takes a step back, then turns and runs off.
- It is important to point out that "Man Mountain" is literally twice as big as Mike, half as young, and looked like he could pick him up with one hand. Watching a big guy like him run from Mike is a sight to behold.
Episode 10 - "Marco"
- Jimmy gives Howard a list of items that Chuck needs to be brought to his house every day. He tells Howard the method of how he gets ice for his brother.Jimmy: Its pretty straightforward. The ice is a pain in the ass, but he needs it. I usually sneak into a motel and fill a garbage bag, but you can have whoever you hire just — buy it.
- As Jimmy is calling numbers for a senior bingo game, the ball machine somehow sends out 5 "B" numbers, and it makes Jimmy alter his demeanor from somewhat pleasant to unhappy. When a sixth "B" number is drawn, it suddenly causes him go on an insane Motive Rant (which can be seen as both funny and sad) about how he almost ended up in jail.Jimmy: I mean, what is it with this place? It's — it's like living inside an Easy-Bake Oven. I mean, look out that window. It's — it's like a soulless, radioactive Georgia O'Keefe hellscape out there, crawling with coral snakes and scorpions and... You ever see the movie "The Hills Have Eyes"? It's a documentary! [chuckles] God forbid your car breaks down — you have to walk 10 steps. You got a melanoma the size of a pineapple where your head used to be. And so you ask, "why?" Why? If — if that's how I feel, why do I live here? Why?! [microphone feedback]
Elderly Man: Excuse me. Are you gonna read that number?
Jimmy: Yeah. I'm gonna read your number. And it's another "B". [laughs] It's another frigging "B". Boy, of course. Why not? Why not?! [sighs] And the next number... [Beat] Uh, quick question, who here knows what a Chicago sunroof is? Anybody? You, sir? No? Okay. True story — uh, back home, uh, there was this guy named Chet. Now, Chet was a real asshole. He might have owed me some money. He might have slept with my wife before she became my ex-wife. The details don't matter. Suffice it to say, I was wronged. All right, so, one summer evening, I was out having a few drinks — 1 or 2, maybe 3. [chuckles] You get the picture? And, uh, who do I see? Chet. He drove up, and he double-parked outside a Dairy Queen and went in to get some soft-serve. Now, Chet drove — and this will give you an idea of exactly what kind of a douchebag this guy was — drove a white pearlescent BMW 7 series with white leather interior. [chuckles] So, I saw that thing, and I had — I'd had a few, like I said. And, uh... I climbed up top, and I may have... defecated, uhhhh, through the sunroof. [Beat] Not my finest hour — I'll grant you that. But that's what a Chicago sunroof is. Now you know. [chuckles] It's a real thing. I didn't make it up. I'm not the first person to do it. There's a name for it. Guy wanted some soft-serve — I gave him some soft-serve. I did not know that his children were in the backseat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I'll maintain to this day was not legal in an Illinois-licensed vehicle. But somehow, that's on me, I guess. Who leaves 2 Cub Scouts in a double-parked car with the engine running?! Come on. Now, Chet was connected, see? Like, uh, Cicero connected. So, usually, I'd be looking at malicious mischief, public intoxication, disorderly conduct, maybe, but he's got the D.A. saying indecent exposure, calling me a sex offender. What? One little Chicago sunroof, and suddenly I'm Charles Manson?! And that's where it all went off the rails. I've been paying for it ever since. THATS WHY IM HERE!
- At the bar in Cicero, Illinois, Jimmy and Marco successfully scam a businessman into paying $110 for a John F. Kennedy half-dollar. After the guy leaves, Marco buys drinks for all the people in the bar.Marco: Ha! Hey everybody, next rounds on us!
- Remember Saul's remark from Breaking Bad about how he convinced a woman he was Kevin Costner and "it worked, because [he] believed it"? Well, we get to see the payoff here. Jimmy ends up having a one-night stand with a woman named Sabrina. He sees her face staring at him the next morning, and:Sabrina: [emphatically] Hey!
Sabrina: [scoffs] You are not Kevin Costner.
Jimmy: I was last night.
Episode 1 - "Switch"
- Jimmy is denied cucumber water by Mrs. Nguyen again. So he decides to go against her by putting away the cup and just running the water from the tap as he licks it up like a thirsty dog. Even the salon workers found it funny, much to the owner's chagrin.
- Daniel Wormald, the guy Mike's been doing enforcer work for, buys a Hummer with a garish paint job and a license plate that says "PLAYUH," has trouble putting it in park, and clips the antenna on the parking garage ceiling. Mike gives an eye roll that can be seen from space (an eyeroll not related to the risk of Wormald's spending attracting police attention).
- When Daniel is doing the drug exchange with Nacho, their conversation about the climate features of his Hummer is worth a laugh. When the police officers remark about it later on, they casually remark on Arnold Schwarzenegger's contribution to the car's popularity.
- Daniel just casually keeps talking to the cops about his stolen baseball cards, utterly oblivious to how they've obviously caught on that he's a drug dealer.
- Ken Wins, the stock guy whose car Walt blew up, also had a run-in with Kim and Jimmy, where they tricked him into paying for the whole bottle of some exceptionally high priced tequila.
- Which, given the size of the bottle, amounts to about $900.
Episode 2 - "Cobbler"
- Jimmy spews up the most ridiculous of cover stories to explain to the detectives the hiding space behind the wall in Daniel's house: he does special fetish videos for a nonexistent patron that he wants to keep private. Of him rubbing his ass on a pie while crying:Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy: [sighs] Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellmann's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockiesnote . I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: [snorts] You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
- As Danny and Jimmy are leaving:Daniel: So, uh, we're good, right?
Jimmy: Yeah. Great! [Chuckles] There is, however, one little, tiny hanging Chad.
Daniel: Well, what? What Chad?
Jimmy: You're gonna have to make a video.
- "Daniel 'Crybaby' Wormald: Pie-Man of the Year◊"
- As Danny and Jimmy are leaving:
- The salon girls ogling Jimmy's new Mercedes when it's delivered.
- Jimmy gets the new company car, but to his frustration, the new travel mug he just received from Kim doesn't fit the cup holder.Jimmy: Must be metric.
- Mike's expression when Daniel pulls up to the courthouse entry booth during Mike's shift in that circus wagon.Daniel: Hey! [pulls forward so he's right up next to Mike] What are you doing here?
Mike: I work here.
Daniel: Oh, small world. So is this the parking lot for the police station?
Mike: It is.
Daniel: You don't know if they validate, do ya?
Mike: [gestures to an empty spot in the lot] Why don't you pull around over there? We'll have a little talk.
- Mike's reaction to the cops calling Daniel again to invite him to the station for questioning. Or Daniel's use of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" for his ringtone.
- Daniel's crestfallen look when he finds out that Nacho intends to take his Hummer to a chop shop and sell it for parts, especially after Daniel painstakingly recited all of the procedures to take proper care of it.Nacho: It looks like a school bus for six-year-old pimps.
- Mike going to Nacho's workplace.Mike: You underestimated just how much of an idiot [Daniel] you were dealing with.
Nacho: No, I am pretty aware.
Episode 3 - "Amarillo"
- Kim being baffled by some of the standard-issue décor in Jimmy's corporate apartment
- Jimmy watching the first and only television ad that Davis & Main ever put out: a generic "If you or a loved one have ever been diagnosed with mesothelioma" commercial featuring plain text on a swirling void background. There were apparently several meetings devoted entirely to getting the swirling just right.
- Jimmy is rather nonplussed to learn he had to specify that the commercial shoot would require a dolly or Steadicam. He ends up having to improvise with his client's stair chair.
Episode 4 - "Gloves Off"
- Mike's entire fight with Tuco has some pretty funny gems:
- The moment Mike bumps Tuco's car, Tuco whispers: "He just hit my car." He's so beyond pissed and he can't comprehend that it just happened.
- Mike acting like a doddering old guy when Tuco first confronts him. Not only that but Tuco almost seems calm, and is trying to be polite while also being on crank, which Nacho says makes Tuco more volatile than ever:Tuco Salamanca: Hey you. Hey, gramps? [puts a hand on Mike's shoulder] You just hit my car.
Mike Ehrmantraut: Wha-You talking to me?
Tuco Salamanca: [to Nacho] Check out Mr. Magoo here. [to Mike] Uh, yes, sir. You see that car, that you parked your piece of shit next to? That's mine. You just ran into it.
Mike Ehrmantraut: Nah, I don't think I did.
Tuco Salamanca: You calling me a liar?
Mike Ehrmantraut: Uh....no.
- Johnathan Banks' delivery of the line "Ah, come on, guys!" might just be the funniest line on the entire show. Hearing Mike of all people sound positively whiny is absolutely hilarious.
- Tuco staring at Krazy-8 like Krazy-8 is some sort of hostile cat while making a deal with him is so uncomfortable it's comical.
- Mike and Nacho engage in Snark-to-Snark Combat when they plan a hit on Tuco.Nacho: Who is gonna pull out behind you?
Mike: I assume someone who like tacos.
Episode 5 - "Rebecca"
- The price Jimmy pays for running his ad without authorization: he's saddled with a junior firm member, Erin Brill, who refuses to let him get away with anything, not even letting him use a Beanie Baby to bribe the clerk. Upon discovering she's beaten him to his office in the morning, he calls her a "goddamn pixie ninja."
- The awkward scene where Jimmy arrives with Erin at the courthouse during Mike's shift at the booth and Jimmy notices the bruises on Mike's face from his fight with Tuco.Jimmy: What the hell happened to you?
[Mike gives Jimmy a silent Death Glare]
Jimmy: ....I get it, first rule of Fight Club, right?
- He then drives off while humming the Rocky theme.
- Kim's explosively excited reaction to Mesa Verde Bank agreeing to be a client.
Episode 6 - "Bali H'ai"
- What does Jimmy do when he can't sleep in his fancy corporate apartment? He starts shooting hoops with those wooden balls that baffled him so much in "Amarillo".
- At one point Jimmy turns on the TV and starts channel surfing, and is not happy to find that Davis & Main had replaced his very successful commercial with another boring plain-text-on-swirling-void commercial.
- Mike enters his house at night, knowing full well that Hector's men are inside. Unable to find them, he draws his gun, and turns on the TV.....and a Billy Mays infomercial comes on.
- Mike outclassing the two cartel thugs easily, who claim that they were just there to scare him and deliver the message to take Hector's deal. Doubles as an Awesome moment.
Episode 7 - "Inflatable"
- Jimmy's montage of becoming his more colorful self at Davis & Main... from the colorful suits he wears to playing bagpipes in his office.Cliff: Excuse me, can I have everyone's attention please? Everyone can hear me? Good. Frankly, this is not a conversation I ever thought I would have in my professional career. But it's been brought to my attention that we have an ongoing situation in the washroom. Someone is not flushing. Once is an accident, maybe even twice. Three times, nah, it's a pattern.
Erin:: And we're not talking about a number one.
Cliff: Yes, thank you, Erin. Now I'm not here to shame anyone, nor do I even want to know who did it. But
Jimmy: Uh, Cliff, it was me.
Cliff: Jimmy, I just said I didn't want to know!
Jimmy: Hey, we need the water. I read somewhere the Santa Fe Watershed is down two full inches this year. Every time you flush a toilet, you waste a gallon of water. A gallon! What could be greener than this?
Cliff: They're low-flow toilets, Jimmy! From now on, flush!
Jimmy: That's... good, good thinking.
- From a meta standpoint, it's even funnier since bits of this scene were used in promos for the episode, taken out of context to make it seem like Cliff was talking about something far more serious.
- Jimmy and Omar working to move the cocobolo desk through the nail salon.
Episode 8 - "Fifi"
- Jimmy, his hired camera crew, and the old man they've hired to be a "veteran", scamming their way onto a military base so they can stage their commercial in front of the B-29 "Fifi". Naturally, there are problems, like trying to use the wheelchair for a dolly, or their old man mumbling when he shouldn't be saying anything. Not to mention he was found because Jimmy defended him on a public masturbation charge.
- Even more funny is when the old man corrects Jimmy on where the Fifi served, after a beat Jimmy simply tells him to follow directions.
- Mike's bonding time with Kaylee. It's not so much the act but there's just something incredibly funny about Kaylee not knowing that she's helping her grandfather build an improvised spike strip.
Episode 9 - "Nailed"
- Jimmy and his camera crew, which now includes a teenage makeup artist, are about to capture Jimmy on film in patriotic mode, using the flagpole at a local elementary school as their backdrop. The school administrators catch him and try to end the shoot, so Jimmy spins up a nice lie - that hes filming a documentary on the schools famous alumnus, Rupert Holmes, he of Escape (The Pina Colada Song) fame. The name and song title dont ring a bell, as this is one of those songs you dont always remember until you hear a few lyrics so Jimmy launches into an a cappella performance for the school officials, and theyre wooed by his charms...despite the makeup girl trying to interrupt by pointing out that Holmes was from Britain.
- From that same scene: the way Jimmy sits in his car as if he was on a stakeout. And then he's like "let's go" and they promptly emerge at the end of recess, crossing the street Abbey Road style to begin their shoot.
- What does Mike do with his newly acquired drug money from the truck? What every man would do: take it to a bar and buy drinks for the house.
- When Chuck is outlining his accusation of Jimmy's forgery to Kim, there was this chuckle:Jimmy McGill: You can't stand the fact that they chose her over you.
Chuck McGill: [angrily] I can't stand the fact that my own brother stabbed me in the back! I can't stand the fact that you've deceived and ruined this fine young woman!
Jimmy McGill: Ruined?! What is this, the 1840s? What are you talking about? She's not ruined.
- Jimmy while bribing the copy center clerk into lying to Chuck. The clerk thinks it's because Jimmy is a murderer or a bank robber.
- The clerk asks for more money out of Jimmy to ensure that he follows through with lying. Jimmy is impressed.
Episode 10 - "Klick"
- Jimmy's commercial for Elder law is just glorious patriotic fervor.Jimmy: You didn't start World War II, but you sure as heck finished it.
- And after the commercial finishes airing, what's the ad that comes on after it? The Garden Weasel.
- Lawson's professionalism strikes again when he sells Mike the rifle and offers the ammunition box and before finishing business he cleans the gun from his fingerprints, apologizing if it offends Mike's that he thinks this gun is gonna be used for a murder. Mike doesn't take offense since Lawson is correct.
- Another dark example: Mike is all set to kill Hector with a single sniper shot, when an unwitting Nacho just happens to get in the line of fire.
- Jimmy passing the duty of getting coffee for his elderly clients on to Kim, without actually asking her.Jimmy: Yeah, ok. Th- uh... This young lady will get you coffee...[Kim looks baffled] and also donuts, ehm if there are any left. [whispers at her] Please.
Episode 1 - "Mabel"
- Howard's recation to the recording that Chuck made. Despite being mad as hell, he tries not to offend:"I don't even know where to begin. But yes, I believe you. Your brother is one world-class son of a bitch. No offense."
Episode 2 - "Witness"
- Mike sends Jimmy into Los Pollos Hermanos. He proves to be the most obvious tail ever, constantly getting up and moving between tables trying to keep his eyes on the drop guy. Eventually, Gus catches him in the act with his head stuck in the trash can.Gus Fring: Can I help you?
[Jimmy, taken by surprise, hurriedly takes off his watch and deliberately slips it into the bin]
Jimmy McGill: [stammers] Uh... My watch, uh, clasp is looseit falls. I tried to reach it.
Gus Fring: Oh, well, I'm sorry. Allow me. [Gus takes the trash can out of the bin.]
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, they say a nice watch band is as important as the watch. That's what they get for cheapin' out. [Gus puts on a latex glove.]
Gus Fring: We'll find it for you. [Gus sifts through the trash can as Jimmy hovers near his shoulder]
Jimmy McGill: Where the heck is it?
Gus Fring: Oh, don't worry. If it's in here, I'll Ah! There it is. [Gus retrieves Jimmy's watch from the trash] Oh. May I clean this for you? We have alcohol wipes.
Jimmy McGill: Uh, no. It's been in worse places. Thank you. That was very nice of you. [Gus hands Jimmy the watch]
Gus Fring: No problem. It's my pleasure. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Jimmy McGill: No. Uh, thanks.
Gus Fring: You take care.
- Speaking of which, when Jimmy goes to the trash can, he dumps his entire tray, including the red plastic fry basket, into the garbage. After Gus recovers the watch, he goes back into the garbage and fetches the red plastic fry basket with a sigh, like "who's the asshole who threw out his basket?" and then puts it away with the rest of the trays/baskets.
- The best part is that Mike most likely assigned Jimmy the job because he knows that Jimmy would be too obvious in spying and attract attention, which is Mike's way of telling Gus that he's watching.
- The job interview as Jimmy hires Francesca. Kim's annoyance with Jimmy sells it. His obliviousness to her makes it even better.
- Jimmy guiding Francesca through her first phone calls. He tries to suggest she get all folksy for Jimmy's elderly clients. Of course, the second client turns out to be Mike, who doesn't sound like he wants to talk about Cracker Barrel (Francesca's words)."I'm sorry, but Jimmy is unavailable at the moment. If you'd like to leave a message, Mr. Ehrmantraut... Trout? Like the fish?"
Mike: Your new assistant is a real pip.
- When Jimmy answers the phone:
Jimmy: Yeah, thanks for crushing her spirit on the first day.
- Howard sneaks over to Chuck's house by scaling neighbors' fences. He comes off looking like Ferris Bueller trying to sneak home before his parents get back from work.
- Someone actually dubbed over the scene with James Bond music, which somehow makes it a thousand times funnier.
Episode 3 - "Sunk Costs"
Episode 4 - "Sabrosito"
- In the opening sequence, Bolsa shows up to give Don Eladio the returns from Gus's operation, as well as a Los Pollos Hermanos T-shirt. Hector's rebuttal to seeing the T-shirt? "More like the Butt Brothers." Being the Politically Incorrect Villain he is, attacking the alleged homosexual relation between Gus and Max Arciniega.
- Eladio being a colossal dick to Hector, who for once can't talk back or glare at someone disrespecting him, is pretty cathartic after all the unpleasantness Hector did in the series.
- Jimmy and Kim's way of striking back at Chuck? Kim works the phone book to find out which repairman has been contracted by Chuck to replace his door. They cancel the appointment without Chuck knowing about it, and have Mike show up at the designated appointment time. Mike busts out a power drill to do the repair work, which of course results in Chuck running away to the upper floor. Exploiting a petty man's electromagnetism nocebo condition is delightful Black Comedy.
- One imagines Jimmy did tell Mike to bring the noisiest drill he could find.
- Later, when Gus stops by the booth to offer Mike a job, Mike is reading a Handyman magazine.
- Seeing Mike chuck the bag of money into Victor's car. Funny, that...
- The way Hector strolls in Los Pollos Hermanos and breaks all the rules is so petty, it's funny.
- Seeing a rather goofy side to Gus as he throws rubbish into a bin and gets the shot in one go to celebrate his hidden victory from Hector. Watch and learn, Mike.
Episode 5 - "Chicanery"
- Jimmy makes an excuse to meet the veterinarian underworld contact by buying a cheap, disposable goldfish. He sits amongst other clients who have far more credible pets with his obviously newly-bought fish. He is then chastised by Caldera for depriving the bagged fish of oxygen.
- Kim's cross-examination of Howard. She asks Howard why he didn't take on Jimmy as a lawyer in his firm, in spite of Jimmy's grit and determination:Howard: The partners decided it would be best to avoid the appearance of nepotism. We felt hiring Jimmy might damage morale.
Kim: Nepotism. Your firm is Hamlin, Hamlin & McGill, right? Who's the other Hamlin?
Howard: ...My father.
- "HE DEFECATED THROUGH A SUNROOF!"
Episode 6 - "Off Brand"
- Hector's reaction to finding out about Tuco's hijinks in jail.Hector: Are you serious?! All he had to do was 6 months! Now he's going to be in there forever!
- Jimmy shows off his first new ad to Kim. It's very cheesy and off-budget. At the conclusion of the ad:Jimmy: The guy at the station said he's never seen so many star-wipes in a row.
- And with this, we finally learn the origin of the "Saul Goodman" persona: Jimmy was in a time crunch, and had to find a way to sell his remaining commercial airtime.
- Nacho's side glance at Arturo when he says that Victor pulling a gun on Nacho's head was no big deal.
- Jimmy needs an ad done in fifteen minutes but doesn't want to ruin his lawyer image by selling air time. He decides to try his crew:
- The Make-up girl reveals she was in the drama club as treasurer.
- The Sound Guy can barely say the line.
- Jimmy doesn't even bother with Joey the cameraman, who simply says he'll get his money even without the commercial.
- Thanks to a deleted scene from this episode, we get a better understanding of how it goes for Jimmy to inform his clients he is "taking a sabbatical".Jimmy: (on the phone) I did? Aw, that's- that's... that's an honor... And how did he pass? ... (visibly cringes) Well, yeah, well... when it's icy out, you gotta... stay off balconies...
- Apparently, one of his clients is having so much trouble hearing him, Jimmy has to basically shout into the receiver for the man to go into the next room and shut the door.
- "Yeah, well, I don't think radiation can go through walls..."
Episode 7 - "Expenses"
- We see the return of Daniel Wormald, who's now installed a very elaborate security system in house to prevent future break ins, only to find Nacho calmly sitting on his living room couch. Later, when Daniel wonders how Nacho could have defeated his security system, Mike mentions that all Nacho would have had to do was to disconnect the phone line.
Mike: Is this your idea of stealth?
- Also, during their meeting, Daniel expresses disbelief that someone could bypass his deadbolt locks and security system. But after they conclude their business, the camera focuses on Daniel for a moment, and then pans over to Nacho as he leaves the house...by way of the kitchen's unlocked and unprotected sliding glass door.
- Daniel is so rattled by Nacho's visit that he immediately tries to reach out to Mike. He stakes out Mike's workplace, but ends up getting bored and starts playing on his Gameboy. He's so preoccupied that he doesn't even notice that Mike is standing right outside his car window glaring at him.
Daniel: I never claimed to be good at this. Any of it.
Mike: On that we can agree.
- At a guitar shop, Jimmy gushes over a guitar signed by Ritchie Blackmore, but Joey doesn't know who he is. Worse, after Jimmy mentions Deep Purple, the sound guy thinks they're the band who made "Another Brick in the Wall"
- Jimmy's woes. His commercial job is getting him nowhere, his community service is going badly and of course, his car won't start.
Episode 8 - "Slip"
- Jimmy resorts to a flopsy scam to sell his remaining commercial spots. Reality Ensues as his middle-aged body can't take those kind of falls anymore and he really does hurt his back.
- It's worth mentioning that because of the setup (knocking a drumstick to the floor) and the execution (it being kicked into a drumset), "Better Call Saul" managed to justifiably work in a Rimshot.
Episode 9 - "Fall"
- Jimmy's tacky jogging outfit while he tries to intercept Irene for his plan.
Episode 10 - "Lantern"
- Kim renting a bunch of DVDs from Blockbuster while Francesca does her best to hold on to them while making important business calls is a hilarious blast to the past for some viewers.
- "The boss can suck me".
- Watching Gus panic over losing Hector simply to a heart attack and trying to resuscitate him.Gus: Don't die, you bastard!
Episode 1 - "Smoke"
- Mike decides that he might as well do the job that the Madrigal books say he's being paid $10,000 a week to do, so he decides to conduct a security audit of a Madrigal warehouse.
- The establishment of the scene is something to behold. We're introduced to Barry, a worker at that warehouse, helping his son with his bike's chain before he gets in his car to go to work. Unfortunately, the car won't start because Mike drained the battery. As Barry calls his secretary to tell her he'll be late, he fumbles around looking for his security badge and can't find it. We then cut to Barry's security badge, and then the camera pulls back to reveal Mike is wearing it and walking around the office.
- Two office workers at Madrigal have a Hypothetical Fight Debate over whether Muhammad Ali could beat Bruce Lee. Mike pipes in and states that, unless Lee has a gun, Ali would take it within three minutes. The aforementioned office workers ask Mike to sign Tina's birthday card, which he does, though he signs with Barry's name instead of his own.
- Mike then takes Refuge in Audacity by driving around the warehouse exploiting weaknesses. When he runs into Barry, who has finally showed up wearing a temporary pass, he returns his ID, then proceeds to summon Barry's supervisor and chew him out in front of the whole staff over his lax security and violations of basic safety protocol.
- Remember how back in "Chicanery", Caldera got annoyed at Jimmy for only buying a fish as pretense for visiting him to hire Huell? He told Jimmy to give the fish at least a gallon sized tank and give it a good bubbler. Here, we see that Jimmy has indeed taken Caldera's advice.
Episode 2 - "Breathe"
- Naturally, the manager at that warehouse did call Lydia as Mike suggested. She's not too happy about this, and after Mike gives her his explanation for things, she calls Gus, who is in the midst of cleaning trash in his parking lot, to complain to him about Mike going rogue. For a man who normally keeps his emotions close to the chest, Gus can barely hide his disdain for Lydia. From the look on his face when he's answering, Gus looks like he'd rather shit a brick than deal with her.Gus Fring: Yes?Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: It's me. Can we meet?Gus Fring: Now is not a good time.Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: I'm in town. I can easily meet wherever's convenient.Gus Fring: Assume this is a secure line.Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: I spoke with your "security contractor". I explained the situation again. But he's going to keep doing what he's doing.Gus Fring: I understand.Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: But...what he's doing makes no sense.Gus Fring: Do his reasons matter?Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: They do if he's unreliable.Gus Fring: He is reliable.Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: So I'm just supposed to let him keep stealing my employees' badges? I don't know where he's gonna turn up next, what disruption he's going to cause, what mess I'm going to have to clean up. [Gus sees Tyrus pulling into the parking lot] This isn't something I want to spend my time worrying about.Gus Fring: Then I suggest you give the man a badge. [hangs up]
- Having the foresight to know Gus's ultimate fate makes the lengths he's willing to go to keep Hector alive darkly hilarious, such as him making a "generous grant" to the hospital where Hector is being treated for a specialist from Johns Hopkins to be flown out to oversee Hector's care.
- Hector's first doctor is clearly very spooked by the Twins. When Dr. Bruckner arrives to relieve him, the tone in his voice indicates that he's very eager to get this case off his hands. Subsequently, when Dr. Bruckner encourages the visitors to speak more to Hector in order to stimulate his brain, the Twins just silently egg Nacho and Arturo to do the talking.
Episode 3 - "Something Beautiful"
- Jimmy gets Ira to rob Neff Copiers after Mike turns him down, promising it's easy money. Should be a simple job? Well, it would've been, but Mr. Neff has just been kicked out by his wife after trying to use a vacuum cleaner as a romantic gift, and is sleeping in the office. The poor guy has to hide under his desk listening to Mr. Neff arguing with his wife on the phone, ordering takeout, and listening to self-help tapes for what seems to be hours before he's able to call Jimmy to help get him out. The sad sack even plays Solitaire with actual cards.
- After getting permission to use local talent, Gus heads into a chemistry classroom. Just as everyone in the audience is wondering "Could it be?", we hear Gale's unmistakable voice singing along with "The Elements" by Tom Lehrer. And then he goes right back to it after their talk. It's a sight to behold.
- Dr. Caldera's deadpan delivery of Nacho's prognosis.Dr. Caldera: Well, well. There he is. You woke up. That means my Spanish is good enough and Yul Brynner here is actually O-negative. Now, sniff test says you probably didn't perforate your bowel. Probably. I can't be 100 percent sure you didn't get nicked. If this starts to leak, you're gonna get the worst infection of your life. It's gonna hurt like hell, and then you're gonna die. So I advise you to go see a doctor that has some imaging tech. In other words, one that's not working out of the back of a Jiffy Lube.
Episode 4 - "Talk"
- Jimmy's start as a cell phone salesman doesn't go well, as he ends up at an outlet store that doesn't get much foot traffic. However, after a visit to Ira to pick up his share of the profits from auctioning the Hummel, Jimmy gets some inspiration and paints a new marketing slogan on the front door saying "IS THE MAN LISTENING? PRIVACY SOLD HERE".
- When spying on the Espinoza compound, Nacho "identifies" the car per Gus's orders and suggests to the Twins that they pull some of the Salamanca street crews so they can hit the compound that night. The Twins look at each other with faces of "Fuck does he think we are, pussies?" before getting out of the car to raid the compound.
Episode 5 - "Quite a Ride"
- Gus has a very elaborate system of security measure for recruiting an architect. The French engineer flies into Denver, where he gets a pre-paid car with a ticket already in the cupholder and a burner phone. Mike directs the guy to drive up to the Rocky Mountains and abandon his car on a roadside next to a mile marker somewhere near Idaho Springs. The engineer is then directed to put on a bag. Moments later, Mike and Nick show up and put him in the back of a van, and drive him all the way down to Albuquerque. The French engineer surveys the site, and turns out to be not the best candidate for the job, making clear he's more interested in being paid than in doing a good job, and bragging about past jobs that imply cartel connections. Thankfully, the interview is interrupted by Mike getting a phone call from Gus telling him to reject the Frenchman:Mike Ehrmantraut: Yeah? Mmmm-hmm.note Yes. That's what I thought. [hangs up; turns to the Frenchman] Thank you for your time.
French Engineer: Pardon?
[Cuts to the Frenchman being abandoned on the Colorado roadside where the van picked him up, with a return plane ticket already stuffed in his coat pocket]
Episode 6 - "Piñata"
- Gus directs Mike with building quarters for Werner's German work team to rest and chill out during their off hours. The German crew basically gets to live in an awesome playground inside a warehouse. A soccer field? An entertainment center? A wet bar?Mike: Anything within reason.
- Jimmy's rather ham-fisted attempt to pep-talk Howard into saving HHM, resulting in a rare Precision F-Strike from Howard:Jimmy: Howard, you're a shitty lawyer, but you've always been a great salesman. So get out there and sell!
Howard: Fuck you, Jimmy!
Jimmy: There you go. Use that.
Episode 7 - "Something Stupid"
- Hector being a pervert and deliberately flicking his water cup so that he can look at the female nurse's ass. Even better is Gus's smug smirk when he notices this when watching Dr. Bruckner's footage, and the fact that Dr. Bruckner didn't even notice the correlation between the two, attributing it to a muscle spasm. It's a bizarre, funny way for Gus to realize "Ohhh yes, I can mentally torture and exact revenge on this cripple."
- Jimmy's boorish pitching of outlandish retreat ideas to Kim's bosses, leading to a horribly awkward car ride home which he pathetically tries to improve with loud rock music.
- After Mike yelled at the construction workers in German, there's a scene where he and Werner are having a drink after. As Werner helps teach him more German, Kai stops by and insults them in German.Werner: He said you sound like a real kraut.
Mike: How do you say "bullshit"?
Werner: Mmm, "bullshit."
Episode 8 - "Coushatta"
- Jimmy and Kim's scheme to get Huell off. Let's break it down:
Kim Wexler: Do it one more time?
- Jimmy does the first step, which is to board a bus all the way to Coushatta, Louisiana. All the while, he gets other passengers on the bus to write messages of support for Huell. When he arrives in Coushatta, Jimmy delivers them to the post office to get them postmarked. Then he takes the bus all the way back.
- Stop to read the letters. They speak for themselves:
- "All the kids love Huell. Every summer he leads classes for Vacation Bible School and since he started helping out, more and more kids sign up. They just love his Moses impression!" - Betty M.
- "When I had to leave for my Papaw's funeral, Huell watched my cats. He fed them and remembered to give them their medication. Oscar and Felix have sensitive stomachs and needed lots of love. Now every time he visits, they jump right on his lap." - Pauline B. (Also a CMOH as it shows Jimmy still remembers Mrs. Landry's pet cats)
- "I was in the rectory when the fire started. Having just broke my foot, Huell rushed in to carry me safely out the church. He saved many of us that day. Huell is truly a disciple of God." - Keith Z.
- "Huell is so caring and so loving. He calls just to say hello and ask about Sunday's sermon." - Edie L.
- "One Easter egg hunt Huell noticed that all the kids had found eggs except my little Maggie. He asked if he could help her and together they found ten eggs. She was so excited!" - Bradley F.
- On the big day, Kim and Jimmy move themselves into position. Kim goes to the courthouse with an Army of Lawyers and gives Ericsen an offer of several months probation for Huell. Ericsen, obviously, refuses. Which prompts the associates to file motions to collect evidence backing Huell's story, and Kim to then reveal she's looking into civil rights litigation on Huell's behalf. Ericsen is still not impressed with with Kim's "shock and awe" tactics, but Kim doesn't budge.
- Then Jimmy's fabricated letters arrive, flooding Judge Munsinger's chambers, prompting him to ask Ericsen if she's prosecuting Santa Claus. Kim denies playing any role in the letter-writing campaign. Judge Munsinger, exasperated by the volume of letters and the prospect of non-existent "yahoos" coming from Huell's hometown to pack his court for the trial, says that the case does not merit a media circus and demands that the two women resolve the case.
- After Kim's visit to the judge, Ericsen has her associates comb through the letters and find anything to throw the book at Huell. She also calls several of the supposed senders, with all of the calls actually going to Jimmy and his camera crew, who have set up in Jimmy's backroom office at the nail salon, with four rows of drop phones lined up on the table for them to answer as different parishioners. The first call we hear Ericsen make goes to "Louise Lockhart," which is answered by the makeup artist. She pretends to be a religious Bible-loving belle, and ends the call by angrily shouting, "Shame on you!" Jimmy is impressed by her acting skills and she sheepishly admits she's been doing improv classes since their last gig.
- During the makeup artist's call, she drops the name of the Free Will Baptist Church that Huell supposedly goes to. This prompts Ericsen to look up the church and find a website set up by Jimmy with a terrible slideshow of Huell doing innocent things on the homepage. She then calls the number for the "church", which is answered by Jimmy on another drop phone. While the phone rings, Jimmy has his crew put on a CD with organ music for ambience. When he picks up as the pastor, he puts on a "Southern gentleman" accent that's much like Bob Odenkirk's "Senator Tankerbell" from Mr. Show. This goes on for several minutes as Jimmy spins a fictional story about Huell rescuing elderly congregants from a church fire during Bible study.
- By the way, the Free Will Baptist Church's website is real. If you call the phone number, you can hear a voicemail of Bob Odenkirk doing the pastor voice. If you click on the "Donate" button, you are redirected to a donation page in favor of the Food Bank of Northwest Louisiana.
- When Ericsen's office, apparently convinced of the ruse, stops making calls on the drop phones, Jimmy gives Joey's crew instructions on how to answer them as he leaves the office to head to the courthouse. At the courthouse, he sees Kim in conversation with Ericsen, which ends in her ceding defeat to Kim's offer. When she finishes the conversation, Jimmy follows her into a stairwell and asks her how things went. Kim drops her briefcase, pins Jimmy against the wall and passionately kisses him.
- The next morning, after celebratory sex, Jimmy amuses Kim by doing an impersonation of his pastor character, which she finds very unconvincing.
Jimmy McGill: Are you sure you can take it?
Kim Wexler: I can if you can.
Jimmy McGill: All right. You asked for it. [clicks tongue] "Hello dere! Look in your heart, Cher, and find forgiveness. Let us take you on a trip down N'awlins way, where they put a little extra roux in da gumbo. Whoo! That's a beautiful red snapper. It's wondermous. I guarantee!"
Kim Wexler: Wow, it's just it's like I'm in the bayou.
Jimmy McGill: Yes, well, I got crawdads in my pants.
Kim Wexler: [laughs and buries her face in Jimmy's chest trying to stifle it] That's that's not a thing! That's not a-
Jimmy McGill: "It's a thing that happens to you when you're sitting in the bayou!" [Kim continues laughing]
- While Jimmy is setting up his backroom office for the phony parishioners and pastor part of the scheme, Ms. Nguyen comes by. Thinking that Kim is Jimmy's wife and that he's in his office because she's thrown him out, Ms. Nguyen pours him a glass of alcohol and urges to take her out to a nice restaurant to make up with her. Jimmy dejectedly replies that he thinks they might be "past that."
Episode 9 - "Wiedersehen"
- At the nursing home, an old lady holds her purse near her ear as Nacho walks by. He and Lalo clearly aren't doing much to hide what they're doing visiting Hector.
- After Nacho and Lalo visit Gus at Los Pollos Hermanos, and Lalo insists on speaking with Gus in private.Gus: [gives Nacho something between an inquiring look and a Death Glare]
Nacho: [shrugs as if saying "Hey, I don't like this guy any more than you do, boss. Don't put this on me".]
- The workers all celebrate a successful demolition job and everyone, including Kai, asks Mike to join in. They all act like they're at a frat party, chanting Mike's name to get him to take a mug of beer.
Episode 10 - "Winner"
- Jimmy's awful karaoke rendition of "The Winner takes it all" gets superseded by Chuck's marvelous take over.
- On planning to prove Jimmy is sincere and deserves to be reinstated, he and Kim meet outside the library built to honor Chuck. Jimmy isn't happy about all the Chuck-centric actions and suggests that he save a judge from their burning chamber to get into good graces. Given that this is the same man who faked rescuing a billboard worker in order to drive up business, this scheme is at least half-serious.
- Lalo's ninja-drop from the ceiling of the Travel Wire office.
- Once Lalo realizes Mike took Werner's phone, he forms a goofy smile and asks "Michael? Is that you?", Mike's full name he picked up during the conversation. Sure, he may have lost the race to Werner but at least he's a good sport about it.
Episode 1 - "Magic Man"
- Gus's alibi and explanation for the information Lalo gleaned from Werner: a new chicken chiller being built in one of his warehouses, using Werner's workers, with Mike overseeing them. Oh, and Werner stole two kilos of cocaine from him. Throughout the whole scene, you can tell from the expression on Lalo's face that he knows Gus is just bullshitting.Lalo: That explains everything.Gus: I am glad you are satisfied.
- Mike's discomfort when he shakes Lalo's hand, as both he and Lalo remember each other from the phone call.
- Lalo: "The South Wall's going to look beautiful!"
- To help drum up business as Saul Goodman, Jimmy sells the last of his drop phones at a tent and advertises his services. His quick assessment of each unsavory client and sales pitches are rapid fire comedy.
- Every time he mentions saving Huell from jail time, he continuously escalates the potential sentence he would've faced. He started with 3 years before ending up at 25.
Episode 2 - "50% Off"
- One of the guys gets Saul's business card as he advertises a 50% discount on a non-violent felony, and is excited because it's "almost half." They go on a drug-fueled spree that includes, among other things, stealing a garden gnome.
- Kim is apprehensive about the open house Jimmy talks her into touring, until she gets to soak him with the multi-shower head system that Jimmy has a hard time figuring out. The realtor also looks quite irritated while seeing them out, as theyre clearly not seriously looking to buy it.
- The origins of Krazy 8's nickname. It's not some cold gangsta shit he did, but because he is the pussy who folded a set of 8s to Lalo's 7-2 off suit in a card game, prompting Lalo to jokingly call him "ocho loco".
- Krazy 8 is stuck on the ladder when the cops arrive and his associates flee.Officer 1: Hey. Is this your vehicle?Krazy 8: Uh, no sir.Officer 1: Want to come down here?Krazy 8: No problem, officer.[Krazy 8 comes down the ladder]Officer 2: Whatcha doing up there?Krazy 8: Uh, just fixing a drainpipe. Some kind of block. [taps the pipe twice, and the drugs that were stuck in the drainpipe come piling out]Officer 2: Guess you fixed it.
- Lalo for the duration of Nacho's effort to recover the drugs while avoiding being noticed by the Narcos about to raid the building. He is noshing on snacks as Nacho heads towards the building, and seems apprehensive as if watching a suspenseful scene in a TV show.
- DDA Oakley is apprehensive and "Oh no, not again" when Saul approaches him in the hall, worrying he's going to be put on candid camera again. Also, his reaction when Saul conjures up witnesses to get a better deal for a client:Oakley: What did you do?!Saul: I don't know. What did I do?Oakley: Suddenly Leder has witnesses?Saul: What can I say? People step up.Oakley: From the sewer?Saul: Life's a rich pageant. Who are we to judge?
- Saul's overreaction to the elevator stoppage that he arranges so he can get some alone time to churn through a bunch of client deals with ADA Ericsen.
- At the end of the episode, while Saul walks down the street, talking to his clients through his headset while eating ice cream, Nacho drives up from behind him and Saul immediately stops talking with his clients when he sees him again. When Nacho tells him to get in his car, Saul tries to tell him he's busy but Nacho's only response is opening the back door for him to get in. Before Saul gets in his car, Nacho points to his ice cream and shakes his finger no, forcing Saul to drop his ice cream on the ground before they drive off.
Episode 3 - "The Guy for This"
- Saul tries to get out of his situation with Lalo by naming a ridiculously high price, but much to his frustration Lalo easily agrees to it.
- Hank Schrader begins his long, hard rivalry with Saul, utterly flabbergasted at his antics and constantly trying in vain to get Krazy-8 back on topic.
- As they arrive, Hank complains to Gomez that Marie makes him throw food out the second midnight hits on the expiration date. Gomez replies that he once ate some expired frosting with no ill effects, which just grosses Hank out.
Episode 4 - "Namaste"
- Saul searches a flea market for an object he can wreck Howard's car with, doing heft tests on the likes of lamps, trophies, (functional!) televisions, and typewriters before going with bowling balls.
- Hank and Gomez have a Seinfeldian Conversation about the origins of the word "culvert" on the stakeout for Gus' crew.Gomez: Take it nice and slow.Hank: Like your mom said last night.Gomez: Like your hand says every night.
- Howard's license plate reads "NAMAST3," clearly because someone beat him to "namaste."
- Saul gets Everett Acker on board by showing a picture of a man fucking a horse, the season blowing its one allowed use of the f-word on this rather than the franchise's usual devastating Precision F-Strike. Acker's look of shock really sells it.
Episode 5 - "Dedicado a Max"
- Jimmy gets to work on defending Mr. Acker's property from Mesa Verde, in true Saul Goodman fashion.
- He causes numerous delays with construction and eviction using various faked scenarios to keep the contractors and sheriff off of the land. This includes claiming they have the wrong address with swapped numbers, the front yard being a potential site for archaeologists using shards from a modern vase, spreading magnetic powder all over the place to make them spend time assessing the radiation, and calling for a sightseeing of a miraculous appearance of Christ on the side of Acker's house that Jimmy spray-painted. They all work!
- All the while, Jimmy sends softball complaints over to Mesa Verde's legal team to drown their other lawyers in paperwork until Kim is the only one who can help. One accusation leveled is that the prime contractor is an escaped felon.
- Jimmy prompts Kim to do an impression of Kevin Wachtell for roleplay.Jimmy: Kevin.Kim: Yes, Kim?Kim: [still doing the accent] Well shoot! I believe I would!
- Jimmy is incredulous that Kevin is a side-sitter.
- Mike grabs a bunch of tools and electrical equipment in order to build a makeshift charger for his dead cell phone. Senorita Cortazar renders his work pointless by coming in and supplying him with a charger.
Episode 6 - "Wexler v. Goodman"
- Five Words: "What is Mesa Verde hiding?" Refuge in Audacity and Black Comedy taken Up to Eleven as "customers" accuse Mesa Verde of fictitious misdeeds: evicting them from their lands, black mold in their banks, funding terrorism, and the crown jewel, an elderly "customer" "recounting" how Kevin's father flashed her."Customer": I went to my bank to open my safety deposit box, and Mr.*BUZZ!* was standing there, with his pants down! Bare! Genitals!Don: YUP!Kevin: (pissed) My dad never ever did anything like that!
- On the "Bare genitals" one, Rex Linn momentarily looks like he's trying not to corpse.
- "The bank manager couldn't explain where all the extra fees were going, so I followed the money trail. The evidence was as clear as day: my bank was funding terrorism!"
- "ACTOR PORTRAYALS BASED ON ACTUAL INCIDENTS OR FICTION"
- Each commercial is led into by Saul doing a "Yeehaw!"
- You can actually call the number provided by the commercial. It leads to an automated in-character message from Bob Odenkirk encouraging the caller to file for a large cash settlement against the bank.
- When Mike's fabricated office memo lands on Tim Roberts' desk, he's on the phone telling a complainant that the stench coming from under his porch is probably from a dead possum, not a dead corpse.
Episode 7 - "JMM"
- Jimmy gets a phone call as he's about to blend a smoothie.Jimmy: Saul Goodman, Speedy Justice for You.Mike: I need a word.Jimmy: Oh. A word. Yeah, um... Yeah, I have a word for you. Uh, "tunnel". (cranks the food processor) Which is where I am right now. (places phone on top of processor; loudly) Sorry, I can't hear you! Maybe try again later?(there's a knock at the door)
- When Jimmy and Kim are eloping at the courthouse, none other than Huell serves as the witness. He notices that they don't have a ring and offers to pickpocket one from one of the clerks. Jimmy settles later for Marco's ring.
- The summit between Gus, Lydia, and Peter Schuler. Lydia gets bonus points for the awkward way she tries to suggest that Lalo should be shanked, and her cheerfully inviting Schuler to attend the rodeo after Gus adjourns the meeting.
Episode 8 - "Bagman"
- After the title card, we open with Lalo laughing as he reads about the destruction of the Los Pollos Hermanos, with Jimmy confused as to what he finds funny.
- When explaining the route to the pickup location, Lalo says to look for a well. Jimmy asks what that well looks like, so Lalo gives him a blank "don't make me regret this" stare and says:
- Jimmy singing his own variation of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", or rather, "$6,999,999 of cash in the trunk", after making the pickup.
- During the shootout, one of the cartel thugs is shown trying to run with the two heavy money bags only to be quickly taken out by Mike.
- Exhausted from carrying the money bags, Jimmy gets the bright idea to drag them instead. Across rough terrain. For which the bags clearly aren't suited. Thankfully Mikes notices the tear after only a few bills spill out.
- There's something darkly funny about how the episode ends: Mike manages to kill the lone gunman... but as a result, the guy causes his car to roll, totalling it. You can clearly tell that, if he wasn't so exhausted, Mike would've done more than glance towards the sky in exasperation.
Episode 9 - "Bad Choice Road"
- When Mike and Jimmy find civilization, they have to trade their clothes for new t-shirts: an American flag shirt for Jimmy and a "Land of Enchantment" shirt for Mike..
- Hector has to wear a birthday hat due to a staff member at the retirement home having a birthday.
- Kim yelling at Lalo that "yahoos with guns" just took a shot at Jimmy's car and telling him to stop bothering them as Jimmy did everything he asked and more is both awesome and funny.
Episode 10 - "Something Unforgivable"
- Once Jimmy and Kim make sure Lalo's gone, Jimmy grabs his phone and asks Mike if he got all that. Mike's response? "I heard enough to know she saved your ass."
- When Jimmy laments to Kim that he put her in danger with his actions, she tells him bluntly that he crossed a line, but confidently tells him won't do it again. Oh Kim, if you only knew...
- Jimmy makes a beeline directly to Mike's house, loudly demanding to be let in, even resorting to repeatedly smack on the front door and ring the door bell (in a beat, no less)... and then it turns out Mike wasn't even home.Mike: (having parked his car out front; exits car with groceries) HEY! (shuts car door) What the hell do you think you're doing?!
- Jimmy and Kim having sex over their mutual hatred of Howard, listing all the things they'd do to get back at him.
- The gag reels provide some Hilarious Outtakes.Chuck: They tasered me, Jimmy. (a piece of the set falls off) And then they did that. What's wrong with these people? They're animals.
Jimmy: They're out to get you, buddy.
- While filming the same scene, later, Bob's sleeve gets caught in the nurse's stethoscope.
- From the same gag reel is Mel Rodriguez's complete inability to do the bottle trick. It's hilarious to see Marco being the worst hustler in history.
- The Cold Opening for the Season 2 gag reel has Jimmy and Omar watching the television in their office, but instead of Jimmy's commercial they're viewing, it's the closing shot of "Felina" instead. Jimmy lays into the scene. "Dude, that was a bummer! Whatever happened to showmanship?"Jimmy: I mean, have you ever seen Apocalypse Now?
Omar: Yes, uh, they're great.
Jimmy: Okay... well, that exists in the same world with this. Which one are you gonna look at?
Omar: Well, Apocalypse Now, I think, yeah...
Jimmy: Yeah! Every. Fucking. Time! You're gonna get halfway through that, and go, "Let's go get the Apocalypse Now DVD."
Omar: Ahh, I see what you're saying.
Chuck: Gotta learn how to master this one of these days. Course, by then, I'll be cured.
- The fact that Jonathan Banks has such a potty mouth he has to pay the actress who plays his niece $1 for every time he swears in front of her, while leads to her gleefully chanting. "Another dollar's coming! Another dollar!"
- Bob sits down on a couch, landing in such a way that he falls between the two sections and it makes a loud squeak. So he proceeds to pushes it apart further, resulting in even more squeaking.
- Michael McKean can't keep the space blanket on his shoulders.
- From the season 3 gag reel:
Tina (jokingly): Whoops, I'm drunk.
- Bob dropping one of the ceiling panels.
- Failed attempts by Giancarlo Esposito to master his toss.
- Brandon K. Hampton (Ernesto) having trouble setting a bag of ice onto the porch railing.
- Tina Parker (Francesca) messing up her line
Michael: I love this piece of tape so much, I'm gonna use it again.
- This outtake:
Bob: Are you ***ing ***ing with me?
Michael: Oh, yeah. Daddy's back.
- From the season 4 gag reel:
Mike: Try Lydia Rodarte-Quayle. Small woman. She's not that tall. She is from Scotland. Yeah, about that big.
- Jonathan Banks swearing like a sailor when the cameras aren't rolling.
- Mike going on a longer description of Lydia to the Las Cruces manager:
Howard: Kim, no, you're right on time. We were just, uh, finishing up with Anne's side of things.Kim: That's Rebecca.
- Patrick Fabian calling Rebecca's actress by her real name.
Werner: My English is not good enough to improvise longer.
- Werner's phone call with Lalo goes awry:
Tony: Is that weird? [He shrugs and smirks at the camera]
- Tony Dalton picking up his binoculars and tripod in one go.
- Jonathan Banks asking the actress who plays his granddaughter "So, if I say 'Christ on a crutch', is that a curse?"
- Tony Dalton practicing how best to say "Michael" - including a Batman-esque growl or a  inspired version.
- In the ramp up to Season 2, the official Twitter account started posting a series of tweets called "The Many Faces of Mike". Each one had a caption of an emotion (elated, angry, etc) and a picture of his face. The picture was different each time, but they all looked neutral.
- In the ramp up to Season 3, the AMC YouTube account posted a series of videos entitled Los Pollos Hermanos Employee Training with Gus Fring. All of them contain various moments of hilarity, whether it be the numerous Call Forwards ranging from subtle to explicit (with "Emergency Situations" being a major offender), the "peppy" animation, the not-so-subtle hints at Gus' other line of work, or the Mood Whiplash from Gus dropping his cheerful front to deliver such lines as "I do not work with junkies."
- During Season 4, AMC began posting similar instruction videos on Madrigal security procedure with Mike Ehrmantraut. Like the previous series, it has several nods to Mike's illegal activities, but unlike Gus, Mike doesn't bother to put on a cheerful face for the camera (much to Lydia's chagrin)."Hey, you know, Lydia, you don't like my tone, you can come here and read it yourself."
- During Season 4, AMC began posting similar instruction videos on Madrigal security procedure with Mike Ehrmantraut. Like the previous series, it has several nods to Mike's illegal activities, but unlike Gus, Mike doesn't bother to put on a cheerful face for the camera (much to Lydia's chagrin).
- Jimmy's cross-examination of Chuck, presented in the style of Ace Attorney.
- During the season three finale edition of Talking Saul, Chris Hardwick praises showrunner/co-creator Peter Gould for the intricacy of the show's plotting, specifically saying he's fascinated to find out how Saul prevents anyone in ABQ from recognizing him as Jimmy despite the insane amount of advertising with the name "Jimmy McGill" in it. Gould's response?
- Note that Vince Gilligan himself has long admitted that he sucks at long term planning and the creative process on both shows (except the pink teddy bear flash-forwards in Breaking Bad Season 2, which left him completely mentally exhausted) is pure Writing by the Seat of Your Pants.
- In the official podcast covering "Smoke", Vince and Peter recount calling Michael McKean on the phone and him warning, "Boys, if this is the death phone call, let me pull over." Then when their awkward reply clued him in to the fact that they were killing him off, McKean muttered, "...aww, shit."
- Peter's brief impersonation of McKean.
- Bob Odenkirk celebrated the renewal for a fifth season before the fourth even started airing by mooning the press corps.
- One time, Giancarlo Esposito was asked by a fan to take a photo with them, as Gus, threatening them. He was given the only prop available at the time. A banana. Bathos at its finest.