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     2013 Episodes 
  • Episode 1: Russian Terminator, Ninja Vengeance, Never Too Young to Die
    • The gang gets good mileage off of imitating the hilarious Ac CENT Upon The Wrong Syl LA Ble speech of Russian Terminator's actors, particularly "That's WHAT friends ARE for?" Mike compares their phonetic pronunciation of English to "the old guy from Temple of Doom."
    • At the first appearance of Russian Terminator's hero's wife:
      Rich: The other movie is the one with Gene Simmons in drag, right?
    • The group is sent into hysterics at a Mook's supremely Dull Surprise reaction to getting shot off a rooftop in Never Too Young to Die.
      Mike: That was the best take they had.
    • Jay theorizes that Russian Terminator's strangest moments derive from an extreme case of Lost in Translation where the cast and crew could not understand an English script written by people who somehow also don't speak English.
    • Jack claims that Ninja Vengeance should change its title to The Worst Ninja. Mike recommends Somewhat Competent Yellow Belt.
    • The group agrees that the only explanation for the two obvious dummy shots being in Never Too Young to Die is that the editor looked at the footage and thought they were too funny to cut out.
  • Episode 2: The New Gladiators, Exterminator 2, Aftermath
    • In response to a strangely angled close-up on a face in intense concentration in The New Gladiators:
      Jack: What is happening in this scene?
    • After the hero of New Gladiators is surprised by a man making exaggerated martial arts moves and noises:
    • While reading the back of Exterminator 2, Josh and Jack laugh at a misplaced comma but truly go into hysterics when the next sentence of the summary is "It's a mistake they quickly regret."
    • After a scene featuring excessive nunchucks, Josh predicts that the next 80s trope will be random breakdancing. The film immediately cuts to an establishing shot featuring breakdancers.
  • Episode 3: The Killer Eye, They Bite!, Xtro
    • After being mocked for repeatedly stumbling over the pronunciation of "ophthalmologist", Rich says it as "optimahowajist" out of defiant spite.
    • Mike calls a toll-free number for Puppet Master action figures advertised before The Killer Eye. It's now a sex line.
    • In the middle of watching Xtro, Jay lets out a heavy sigh.
      Jay: We've got a problem: this movie's kind of interesting.
  • Episode 4: Deadly Prey, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Miami Connection
    • In previous episodes of Best of the Worst and Half in the Bag, commenters said Jay looked sloppy and unkempt. So, throughout the discussion in Episode 4, he's wearing a tuxedo (that's clearly too big for him).
    • The group being absolutely delighted with Cameron Mitchell's character from Deadly Prey.
      Grandpa: Are you a friend or an enemy?
      Soldier: I'm a friend!
      Grandpa: You're a liar! [Shoots Soldier]
      Jay: "Why'd you even bother asking me?!"
    • At the end of Deadly Prey, Denton tells Hogan to strip.
      Denton: Your shirt. Take it off.
      Jay: Oh, I didn't think this is where it was headed.
      Rich: "You're gonna have to take my wife's place."
    • One of the first lines in Deadly Prey is Denton telling The Dragon "You're gonna die". Everyone in the group is amazed, since that was the fourth time in a row since Russian Terminator that a main character had said that line.
      Jay: Are we going to hear "You're gonna die" in every movie we ever watch?
    • The montage of the most innocent "Saved by the Bell"-style scenes of Miami Connection juxtaposed against its graphically violent fight scenes, all set to the film's famously saccharine song "Friends Forever".
  • Episode 5: Wheel of the Worst #1note 
    • The Dance of Birth, a seriously out-there "instructional" video about dance exercises for pregnant women with inane voice-over from a middle-aged hippy, provides plenty of laughs due to its moments of subdued insanity.
      • The collective Oh, Crap! reaction to the opening shot of women in leotards awkwardly shuffling around a blank room.
      Narrator: The time has come for us to dance.
      Mike: The time has come for me to turn this off.
      • Jessi's emphatically annoyed/horrified reactions to everything in Dance of Birth from the moment it is selected, culminating in her sarcastically asking if the movie wants "to slap her in the face with any more feminist bullshit." Right on cue, a pregnant woman turns and lifts her arms to show her very hairy armpits to the camera, sending the crew into hysterics.
      Jessi: I am offended.
      • Jay describes Dance as "the best movie David Lynch never made."
      Jay: It was shocking, it was hypnotic, and I hated it.
      • The narrator's description of some of the obviously unstructured wiggling as "oxygenating your wombspace" sends the room into hysterics and leads Rich to ponder how actual doctors would react to the New Age teacher's medically questionable advice.
      • Their observation that the parents looked way more into the instructor's dances than the babies they dragged to the classes, who often look visibly upset and haggard from being tossed around and kept awake to be in the video.
      • Rich's reaction to a particularly egregious Ice-Cream Koan:
      Narrator: Even when you are pregnant, there is room!
      Rich: For what!? Another one!?
    • Rich's revelation that Let's Rap Fire Safety would have been useful for him in childhood due to an incident where he almost burned down his grandmother's house making French fries, which leads the rest of the crew to claim the video is actually about Rich and spawns a Running Gag that Rich is "cool about fire safety."
    • Rich's summation of the problems with Candid Candid Camera:
      Rich: Can you imagine this without a laugh track? It would be a snuff film!
    • Mike is the lone voice of dissent when it comes to destroying Candid Candid Camera for obviously exploiting homeless people, objectifying women, and placing everyone involved in increasingly uncomfortable positions. He reasons that, unlike Dance of Birth, Candid Camera at least provides a service: giving old men something to masturbate to.
  • Episode 6: The Vindicator, Cyber Tracker, Robot Jox, R.O.T.O.R.
    • Jay sums up what happened when they tried to make Episode 6
    Jay: So, what started out as an innocent attempt to watch some bad movies with robots in them has turned out to be the most miserable experience in any of our lives.
    • Jack and Rich mock Robot Jox for proposing abandoning wars in favor of giant robot fights.
      Jack: And so, the people of the world gathered together and said "Hey, we shouldn't fight for territory. We should just fight 'cause it's awesome!"
      Rich: After this, they're gonna be like "Fuck this, we're going back to wars".
      • They also mock the idea that war has been made "illegal" and picture a single cop "pulling over" and trying to arrest a country's entire army.
    • Rich Evans describes his reaction to R.O.T.O.R.
      • Their reaction to the irrelevant and egregious Padding at the opening of R.O.T.O.R, a.k.a. Establishing Shot: The Movie.
      Rich: They had to establish the prairie so they could establish the farm so they could establish the farmhouse so they could establish the kitchen counter...
      Jay: I don't know who should be offended by this character.
      Josh: Everyone.
  • Episode 7: Playing Dangerous, Shapeshifter, Thunderpants
    • The crew's baffled reactions at the incredibly dark tone of Playing Dangerous, which was packaged as a kids movie but is rated PG-13 and features a man being shot to death while pleading for his life in the opening scene.
      • Mike reading the plot synopsis:
      Mike: Meet Stuart, an eleven-year-old computer genius who plots to outsmart a group of thugs and singlehandedly save his family from run-on sentences.
      • Everyone gets incredibly excited when it looks like the Kid Hero is going to burn a man alive by shooting his cigarette with gasoline from his Super Soaker. The film cuts hard around showing any of the violence, rapidly deflating the room.
    • Jessi's reaction of pure child-like mirth at the revelation that Thunderpants was a film all about farts.
      Jay: This is madness. His farts turned his mom into an alcoholic!
      Jessi: I love this movie.
      • The group keeps a running tally of every fart in Thunderpants and treat the list as Serious Business for the length of the movie, even arguing over how to record minutiae like changes in fart pitch and the release of gases after the initial fart.
  • Episode 8: Wheel of the Worst #2note 
    • The use of the token Hispanic father from Key Matters saying "Excelente" as a reaction to the increasingly non-excellent things about the video, peaking with Jack's description of Mike being kidnapped, raped, and murdered as a child because of his lack of survival instincts.
      Jessi: Oh my god! ...Rich, did you live there?
    • The group characterizes Gary Coleman as a malevolent god playing with mortals' lives from his "Safety Control Zone", which isn't too far off. Beyond making kids nearly choke to death, slip and fall over, and receive minor lacerations, Coleman apparently sends a murderous pedophile to a child's door to test how they would respond, all while keeping his usual friendly tone.
    • The fact that the kids that Gary Coleman is torturing are named Jack and Jill Example.
      Jack: There's a man trying to break in the front door of my apartment. My name is Jack Example, and I live at-
      (Jay and Josh burst into laughter)
      Rich: JACK EXAMPLE!? (Laughs)
      Mike: What an unfortunate last name, Jack.
    • The crew is equally amused and frustrated at the lack of common sense given to the actors in The Family Guide to the Internet, beyond even what one would expect from an early 90s family.
      Daughter: An internet service provider? What's that?
      Jay: It's... an internet service provider...
  • Episode 9: V-World Matrix, The Amazing Bulk, and ????note :
    • Mike guesses that the creators of The Amazing Bulk used Comic Sans as the font for their logo solely because it had the word "comic" in its name.
    • At the request of Colin, they decide to give the "Low Budget Special-Effect Driven Movie" theme a rest after the first two films and spin the Wheel of the Worst (this time loaded with actual movies) to pick the last one. Out of all the films on the Wheel, Colin hopes to land on Gymkata. As the Wheel slows down, it is clearly going to land on the film right before that, so Mike reaches up and manually spins the Wheel to make it land on Gymkata instead. Nobody questions the legitimacy of the spin (at least, not on camera; Jay can be heard asking "Should we go with that?" from off-screen).
  • Episode 10: Bloody Birthday, Crazy Fat Ethel II, Psycho from Texas
    • Regarding Bloody Birthday:
      • Jay claims that there's "an extended subplot involving cake." Cut to a longer-than-expected montage of various characters eating birthday cake.
      • The panelists are equally horrified and fascinated by the brief and irrelevant background appearance of a strange, sad-looking party clown wearing a t-shirt that says "I Can't Say No." Mike calls it Bagul.
      • Jay sarcastically asks Gillian what her favorite Ed Hunt film is. Mike drunkenly interjects, "Ed Hunt for Red October."
    • Regarding Crazy Fat Ethel II:
      • Everyone on the panel struggling to read the titles of the (mostly pornographic) films made by the director of Crazy Fat Ethel II without bursting into uncontrollable laughter.
      • Rich frequently runs into the room with memo, complete with the Muppet News music playing every time and everyone treating the new info about the movie like breaking news. While talking about the trivia, a "live feed" of the overly long chase scene from the movie they're supposed to be talking about plays in the corner.
    • Jack is personally offended and angered by the Psycho from Texas's heavily racist, misogynistic, and perverse themes and challenges the director to a fight. When Jay points out the man is likely to be in his nineties, Jack replies, "Good, then I could kick his ass!"
  • Episode 11: Night Beast, Trick or Treat, Skull Forest
    • Since they were filming this Halloween special around Rich Evans's birthday, they gave him a present based on a very special photo of him on his fifth birthday: An adult-sized version of the shirt he's wearing in the photo. He wears it as his "costume" for the rest of the episode.
      • In a case of what could only be called a massive coincidence, the Showbiz Pizza Bear actually makes an appearance, thirty years to the day after that birthday, in their screening of Trick or Treat... dead. The panel speculates that the tape must be haunted and that the bear would not appear if they went back and watched the tape again. Rich's reaction is part of the thumbnail for the video.
        Rich: So after Mike saved my precious heirloom, and it had a picture of me with this birthday boy shirt, in the Showbiz Pizza next to the Showbiz Pizza Bear... Here, thirty years to the day later... Not only am I wearing the same shirt... But we're watching this movie, (cut to clip from the movie) and there he is.
        Mike: (talking over Rich) Yes, being carried out on a stretcher is the Showbiz Pizza Bear.
        Rich: (talking over Mike) The Showbiz Pizza Bear, dead.
    • In the footage of an awkward sex scene from Night Beast, which Jack aptly describes as "the most erotic two pieces of wet turkeys slapping against each other that I could ever imagine," the editor censors the nipples on both the woman and her male partner.
    • Skull Forest marks the crew's first on-screen discussion of the works of Len Kabasinski.
      • Dutch angles are used so regularly in Skull Forest that everyone just starts watching the movie with their heads tilted to the side.
      • Jessi notes that the only shots that aren't uncomfortably close to the actors are the ones that Len is physically in and thus not in contact with the camera.
      • Jack's takeaway: "Len Kabasinski got his films distributed. You can do anything, kids."
  • Episode 12: Wheel of the Worst #3note 
    • One of the considered tapes is titled Diabetes: A Positive Approach. Rich jokes that it's lucky the tape isn't part of a series that could one day include AIDS. Cue a perfect silent Dude, Not Funny! reaction from Jay
    • Jay and Rich finally land on Tree Stand Safety and their overjoyed reaction being intercut with them, Mike and Jessi asleep.
      • Mike refers to Tree Stand Safety as Fat Ethel 3.
      • Rich Evans' trademark inability to pay attention to the rest of the panelists leads to a great Mike quote:
      Mike: ...Margaret wanted a hunt in her c*nt.
      Rich: It's disturbing to watch, but if you're eating a cheeseburger...
      Jessi: HOW?! AGAIN?!
      Mike: You're talking about cheeseburgers while I'm talking about c*nts!
      • Jay makes a joke about fire safety at the sight of a cake with dozens of candles. The moment of silence before the music cue and Rich's dead-eyed expression really sells it.
      • Mike questions the purpose of wearing camouflage at all when hunters have to wear florescent vests to avoid being accidentally shot.
      • The crew's response to when a female hunter holds up the head of a deer she's shot:
      Rich: (with Southern accent) "He's like a puppet now!"
      (Jay laughs)
      Rich: "I'mma make it talk!"
    • After watching an incredibly awkward sex-ed video for small children, Jessi and Mike are unable to speak or even look at each other at the next wheel spin. When it lands on Instant Adoring Boyfriend, Jessi reaches for the nearest beer.
    • Jessi's reaction to the "Instant Adoring Boyfriend"'s transparent efforts at emotional support wish fulfillment (i.e. talking about how lovely and smart she is in comparison to his exes) is to crudely yell at him to take off his clothes.
  • Episode 13: Playing Dangerous 2, The Exterminator, Deadliest Prey
    • Jay attempts to make a joke about the video game scene in Playing Dangerous 2, rhetorically asking whether there would ever be a shooter game so poorly designed that the player couldn't see any of the enemies. Rich immediately mentions Doom 3.
    • The gang theorizes that Playing Dangerous 2 was an elaborate attempt on the cast and crew's part to kill themselves through sheer boredom.
    • The panel acknowledges that the actors playing the Totally Radical hackers in Deadliest Prey (particularly "Tru Dat" girl) likely agreed to deliver their terribly written "youth" dialogue exactly as it was written for the same reason they would have.
    • In a tangential scene cut from the full episode, the crew discuss Syfy Channel-style shark movies and why they don't consider them entertainingly bad movies because they were made with little-to-no real passion or effort and are intentionally made to be terrible. To demonstrate, they pitch a few shark movie plots of their own off the top of their heads, including Shark Forest (a forest full of sharks), Sharkageddon (a space shark tries to eat Earth), Sharkano (a volcano spews sharks that in turn spew lava), and The Sharkening (either sharks make humans kill themselves as nature intended or a lonely hotelkeeper is driven to madness by sharks).
  • Episode 14: Elves, Santa Claus (1959), National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure
    • The panel is completely bewildered by the Random Events Plot of Elves (or, as Jack calls it, Everything: The Movie), a horror film that features a supernatural Nazi elf as an antagonist, a wild enough premise on its own without the addition of a washed up Dan Haggerty as a detective-turned-mall Santa, the elf's goal to rape a young virgin (who also turns out to be the result of a Surprise Incest plot), and a group of witches called "The Coven of Anti-Christmas." Just reading the back of the box is enough to drive everyone to hysterics and convince Rich that the movie will win.
      • The extremely low quality of the elf, which shows no articulation at any point, leads the panel to conclude that it was just a statue that someone occasionally moved around by hand.
      • The group's look of shock and horror at a horribly out-of-place (for a normal movie) scene of a little boy in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajamas ogling his sister.
      Sister: You pervert!
      Brother: I'm not a pervert, I like seeing naked girls
      Sister: I'm your fucking sister!
      Brother: Yeah, and you've got fucking great tits, and I'm gonna tell everyone I saw them!
      Jessi: ...Holy... moly!
      Mike: "Here's the line we'd like your son to say, ma'am!"
      • The over-the-top "Dr. Scientist", a Mr. Exposition that is only in the movie to offer an explanation of the elf that was already told elsewhere in the movie by another Mr. Exposition (named "Professor Physics"), making his appearance entirely pointless. To add to that, as the panel points out, his explanation is completely useless.
      "Grizzly Adams": Doc, do me a favor: What is the bottom line?
      "Dr. Scientist": Well, I'm telling you: The bottom line is the little creepy things are the little creatures that creep on two legs. Idiomatically, we call them elves.
      • The group laughs at the detective's out-there request for a book on ancient spells and runes from the local library, and laughs even harder when the librarian knows the exact book he was requesting and brings it back to him in mere moments.
      • The Crazy Awesome car-bombing scene, in which Dan Haggerty discovers a bomb and leaps out of his moving car instead of just throwing out the explosive. Surviving this, he immediately gets up, punches the nearest person in the face, and yells at them some of the greatest lines in the history of cinema.
      "Grizzly Adams": What are you, a goddamn Nazi or something? Is this your elf?
    • The panel is driven into one of their most intense bouts of laughter-driven hysteria ever by Santa Claus (1959), especially when they start coming up with ideas of how it could have been made.
      • The film is found on a DVD compilation of Christmas "classics", a word that Mike claims should have had "at least sixteen quotation marks around it."
      • The group, particularly Mike, lean into the Alternative Character Interpretation that Santa has been enslaving missing children in his strange dimension and is a Bad Boss who won't let them play or go home.
      • The panel gather a surprising amount of textual evidence from the film to support Mike's claim that Santa has a huge Gag Penis, from the huge lips on one of his machines (which they argue is a fleshlight), the repeated references to his "giving nature", and Merlin the Magician's awkward waddling walk.
      • The panel speculates that the movie may have just been one massive effort to get rid of all the dry ice in Mexico.
      • The group loses it telling the story of how the movie was made in one night after too many shots of tequila, ending with the crew waking up on the beach in Mexico dressed as Santa, Merlin, and the devil and surrounded by strange props and unconscious and dead children.
        Rich: (laughing uncontrollably) It hurts! It hurts! IT HURTS!
    • Rich's gradual Sanity Slippage from being subjugated to terrible movies at Christmas-time culminates in his snapping when Jack reads the plot to Christmas Vacation 2 in his usual chipper delivery. Cue Trash the Set (set to the Horror of Dracula theme, no less).
      • The panel can't even bring themselves to talk about Christmas Vacation 2 and instead spend some time talking and laughing about how great the original is, all set to cheerful upbeat music.
     2014 Episodes 
  • Episode 15: Robo-C.H.I.C, Alien Seed, Yor: The Hunter from the Future
    • The episode description, which relates the blatantly untrue reactions of all but one of the hosts to having to watch a failed comedy movie:
      Description: Jay commits suicide live in the video. Rich Evans dies of a heart attack. Mike survives the viewing with mild PTSD and a hangover and Josh learns the magic of Christmas.
    • The crew is made more miserable by Robo-C.H.I.C.'s failed attempt at comedy than any previous film, to the point where most of them simply walk out of the room halfway through and Rich intentionally lies down and falls asleep. Rich speculates during the panel discussion that it is entirely possible that no human has successfully watched the whole movie start-to-finish in a single sitting.
      • Jack is the only viewer who pays enough attention to the movie that he notices the multiple changes of Robo-C.H.I.C.'s actress mid-film.
      • Josh's in-depth dissection of how practically every part of the film's cover and box description has nothing to do with the movie.
      • The "mob" scene, which the panel remarks has so few extras that it looks more like five guys having a circle-jerk.
      • Rich claims that the movie was so bad it made him feel sorry for Burt Ward for being in it, speculating that he was forced to be there in order to pay his month's rent.
      • Mike is so mentally scarred (and drunk) from watching Robo-C.H.I.C. that he continually mis-remembers scenes from the failed comedy as being from the other two movies. The group jokes that Mike's brain is so desperate to save its necessary functions that it has started to shut down his ability to remember bad movies.
    • The panel notes how truly sad it is that the creators of Alien Seed were proud enough of their mediocre action scenes that they filmed sequences of "motorcycle lifts two inches off the ground" and "cars drive around in circles in a parking lot" in dramatic Slow Motion.
    • The overly long and repetitive description for Yor: The Hunter From the Future almost kills Josh and Jay, who decided to read the boxes for the movies outside next to the dumpster they found them in during the freezing Wisconsin winter. It's so poorly written and slapped together that the description of Yor's medallion changes from "gold" to "bronze" in the same sentence, leading the pair to unceremoniously call "Fuck this!" and go inside.
      • When Jay remarks that everyone in the movie wants to fuck Yor, Rich Evans jumps in with an enthusiastic "YES!" Cue awkward silence.
  • Episode 16: Wheel of the Worst #4 note 
    • The first spin lands on Kitten Kommotion. Jessi is so against it that she spins the wheel again, ignoring Rich and Jay's protests. It lands right back on Kitten Kommotion.
      • Kitten Kommotion starts with an obnoxious (and obviously human) meow, leading Mike to call for the video to be shut down immediately. His rejection of the video on grounds of saccharine cuteness quickly shifts to horror when the video proper starts, as its mostly just footage of cats trying to escape being placed in small places filmed in a quality and style they find evocative of snuff films.
      • Jay speculates that the person who made the video probably looks like a sex pervert while the episode cuts to unrelated footage of Rich.
      • The Hurricane of Puns involving cats:
      Rich: Well, Mike, I think you could call that video a real cat-astrophe.
      Mike: You ain't kitten.
      Rich: You could even say that video was a real piece of shit.
    • Jay wonders whether the bored looking executive featured on the first Dunkin' Donuts tape was happy. Rich seriously responds that he was probably just disinterested in the video and probably would have been happy once he went home to count his dollars. However, a typical Rich flub leads this line to come out as "count his donuts".
      • Jay ends up warmly thanking Bob Rosenthal at the end of video because it was only five minutes long.
      • The crew discover that the label on the tape is covering the original title of the first video: Finishing With Bob Rosenthal.
      • The panel question why the second video, made for store managers about the company uniforms, bothers to have "fun" song and dance numbers that would normally be used to keep the attention of lower-level employees.
      Jay: You have to give them some reason not to kill themselves.
      • Jay finds the second video depressing, as it is revealed at the end that the store manager has been dreaming about new uniforms to make his employees respect him. Not only is that truly pathetic, he doesn't even get the uniforms.
      • Rich declares that he gives the Dunkin' tapes "four stars... out of fifty." The combination of his overly serious delivery and general drunkenness leads the panel into an uncontrollable giggle fit.
    • The third spin lands on Florence Henderson's Looking Good, Feeling Great, a makeup tutorial that gives the panel so little to work with that its section is composed only of the group watching a scene in complete silence and a hard cut to them dejectedly giving the wheel a fourth spin.
    • The panel is at a complete loss in assessing Shoji Tobuchi and his show, comparing him to Tommy Wiseau in how his lack of charisma becomes its own kind of charisma. Mike goes a step further and speculates that his success in spite of a lack of charm or exceptional talent, like with Wiseau, could only be attributed to independent wealth. The idea of a man aiming to buy his way to stardom by setting up an elaborate theater and stage-show in Branson, Missouri is insane, hilarious, and, best of all, potentially true.
      • The wheel spin is accompanied by Shoji's incredibly hyped-up intro music, which causes Jay and Rich to perk up with childlike hope.
      • The noticeable lack of Shoji for the first half of the tape leads Mike to call it "The No-Shoji Tabuchi Show" to a chorus of accompanying groans.
      • Shoji's intro is so incredibly over-the-top, with an epic theme song, dramatic announcer, and laser projections displaying his fiddle and name in bold capital letters, that it actually wins enthusiastic cheers from the group. The subsequent Anti-Climax of a smiling middle-aged Japanese man hopping on to the stage and singing out of key through his strong accent drives everyone to hysterics.
      • Shoji's delivery is so one-note that the panel is unable to discern if he was joking when he dramatically introduces his "top-secret violin from NASA."
      • Rich jokes that the show is so long and the clientele is so old that there had to be a crew dedicated to removing corpses from the audience following the show. Furthermore, he suggests that each concert ends with an "In Memoriam" segment for those who passed away over the last three hours.
      • The crew notice that the featured accordion player from Milwaukee shares a noticeable resemblance to Jeffrey Dahmer, joking that it's possible he joined The Shoji Tobuchi Show for a season before becoming a serial killer.
    • After a debate about which tape was the worst without a conclusive agreement, Rich cuts in and says he knows exactly what they need to destroy. Hard cut to the Wheel sitting in a dumpster.
  • Episode 17: Supergirl, Captain America (1990), The Fantastic Four
    • Rich points out that Jack is wearing a superhero outfit for their superhero episode. Jack says that he's wearing it because he has difficulty connecting with people on an emotional level.
    • The panel is incredulous at Supergirl's excuse for a plot, with Josh going so far as to say that the film is essentially nothing a series of random "shenanigans" and Rich calling it "a sexually-fueled cat fight". Jack says that there is a plot, but everyone involved in the movie just forgot about it halfway through.
      Jay: The last forty-five minutes of this movie- the driving force of the movie- has been Faye Dunaway wanting to fuck a younger dude. Why is this a movie? This is awful... It looks like a movie, but it doesn't operate like a movie.
      Rich: Because the script is batshit insane!
      Rich: This movie has done for feminism what Birth of a Nation did for equal rights!
      • Jack tries to defend his love for Supergirl:
      Jack: Listen, I grew up on a farm... *general laughter*
      Jay: You could end it right there. "I like Supergirl because I grew up on a farm."
    • Jay jokes that Captain America's technique of stealing cars by pretending to be sick was the greatest superpower provided by the Super Soldier Serum.
    • The panel is utterly flabbergasted that The Fantastic Four, a film with zero budget that was never even meant to be released in any capacity, tried harder to tell a story, develop its characters, and feature simple but effective action sequences than either of the other two "real" movies.
      Jack: Every scene has a purpose. Every single little thing moves the story or characterization along, almost like a movie should do.
      • Jay jokes that the film's glowing crystal MacGuffin is the same prop used in the Leonard Nimoy LaserDisc ads. Rich responds that it's hard for sentient rocks to find work in Hollywood.
      • Jay's Brooklyn accents for some New York pedestrians seeing The Thing cross the street.
      Jay: Get out of the road, rock monster!
    • The final summation of the three movies and their quality in regards to their budget somehow becomes an elaborate food metaphor.
      Rich: The Fantastic Four is like a high quality chef took shit ingredients and made an appetizing meal [...] It's like Iron Chef with Cheetos. [Supergirl] is like someone taking filet mignon and somehow making ramen noodles.
      Josh: And what's [Captain America]?
      Jay: That's just ramen noodles.
      Rich: That's rice crackers.
      Jack: That's McDonalds, it's cheap, but it's still food.
  • Episode 18: Ninja Moviesnote 
    • In this installment, the gang allow the guest star, B-movie director Len Kabasinski, to choose the three movies by punching a picture of someone's face and taking out the DVD in the box covered by said picture. He chooses to "punch" a member of the cast (over people like Adolf Hitler or Kim Jong-il) each and every time.
    • Outside of the skit, Len comes across as a very normal guy that fits right in with the panel, save for a few times his Cloud Cuckoo Lander nature comes through. At one point, without prompting, he reveals the three things he finds funny: groin attacks, karate chops, and farts
    • When opening the discussion on Ninja III: The Domination:
      Jay: Mike, can you explain Ninja III?
      Mike: I think Ninja III should explain itself.
      Jack: White people.
      Mike: [in a Valley Girl accent] "See how easy it was?"
      Jessi: "I'm just gonna dance my problems away!"
      • The sight of a sex scene that features a woman pouring V8 over herself for her partner to lick off causes the crew (particularly Jessi) to scream in abject horror.
    • The opening title sequence for Ninja Warriors starts with white text over a brilliant white sky. The gang immediately knows the kind of movie they're in for.
      Jessi: Can't we just... know that they drove there?
    • Amidst a great ocean of crappy film-making, Lethal Ninja features some scenes of almost transcendent awfulness that drive the group into goodhearted hysterics, from a scene of one of the ninja's friends blowing away a girl's cocaine and running away and a Mook wildly shooting his handgun in all directions (including the floor).
      • The panel agree that the film's last ten minutes, which features an assassin dressed as an elderly woman knocking over a man in a wheelchair and pulling out a handgun from under his dress at a funeral, is a So Bad, It's Good sequence that briefly brings the movie to the level of films like The Room and Troll 2.
      • All of Mike drunkenly trying to piece together the film's Anachronic Order, "helped" by the rest of the panel. Besides Mike's usual inability to keep the movies straight and remember character names, the film also features a Big, Screwed-Up Family whose relationships are almost impossible to discern from the film itself, which even the captions can't keep track of.
      • The panel gives a variety of nicknames for the movie's characters, including "The Hamburgler", Milli Vanilli's dad, Ringo Starr and Gene Simmons's love child, and Dave Coulier in drag.
      • The group notes that the film utterly fails at creating sets, notably using the same tiny loft space for six different settings, including a "night" club scene shot during the day with barely ten clubgoers and a musical act performing in a random corner without a stage or any equipment. Additionally, a later scene in a graveyard was obviously just shot on a clean lawn with no prop tombstones, no six-feet deep hole, just a closed casket and some flowers on the grass.
      • Jay tries to come up with a unique positive for Lethal Ninja beyond the climax.
      • Rich's closing argument is that Lethal Ninja was both the best and worst film because its climax was the best part of the night while the rest of it was clearly just the worst. The panel reacts as though the fabric of reality had been shaken by Rich's rejection of the show's standard format.
      • Len Kabasinski calls Lethal Ninja's director's efforts to make a good movie "fucking pathetic, dude."
  • Episode 19: Wheel of the Worst #5note 
    • Rich is so sick of the wheel that he doesn't even bother to put creative effort into the opening, devolving into just repeating "Insert joke here."
    • Jack almost destroys the wheel by knocking it over.
    Everyone: Ooooh fuck!
    Jack: I have no regrets! Ahahaha! [runs away]
    • Rich Evans' prank voice mail. "Hi, I'm stuck here on a 747, and the pilot just had a heart attack. I've got a copy of your video 'Cleared for Takeoff', but we don't have a VCR to play it in!"
      • How they react to finding out that Fred Levine's number is still in service.
        Rich: Somewhere in a dresser drawer, his beeper is going off.
    • Mike says that the creator of Tales From Genesis Space looks exactly how he pictured...
      Mike: Except he doesn't weigh 400 pounds, and we can't tell if he smells because it's a video.
      • Mike describes the black void of space in one short as "the room of a serial killer" because it is clearly just a room lined in black garbage bags.
      • The gang's reaction to CGI gremlins breaking into a truly painful and Gratuitous Rap is neither laughter nor annoyance, but sheer disbelief.
      Jack: This... is actually happening?
    • The slow burn realization of exactly what the "SOS" video is: it's a Japanese version of a tape put out by the Christian cult called the Family International, featuring music videos with anti-evolution, anti-abortion, rapture and "barcodes are the mark of Satan" themes. The entire segment is astonishing.
      • The shot of Jesus nailed on the cross ascending into the sky during the Rapture was Narmy enough, but when he gives a resigned smile and shrug to the camera, the crew go nuts with laughter.
      • The reason why the panel is so surprised by the tape in the first place is because they can't read the box and don't even know what script it is written in.note  Jay sarcastically asks the audience if anyone knows how to read "Asian".
      • On the style sense of the young religious teens:
      Mike: They look like they fell through a thrift store.
  • Episode 20: Ghetto Blaster, Terror in Beverly Hills, Killing American Style
    • The supercut of Ghetto Blaster's characters complaining about how "the neighborhood has changed," which almost takes up more of the runtime than the protagonist actually fighting crime.
      • The panel bemoans that the movie found a way to make a clown on a motorcycle killing gang members boring.
      • Mike gets excited at the prospect of a bad dummy shot when a Mook is thrown off a ledge, only to be disappointed when the scene is actually performed by a competent stuntman.
    • Terror in Beverly Hills is one of RLM's favorite bad movies; between the strange absence of the movie's "star" Frank Stallone, plenty of strange line-readings, and one of the greatest Large Ham performances ever delivered by the show's drunk grandfather, Cameron Mitchell, it's not hard to see why.
      • The panel's discussion of the "old bean factory" that the terrorists take the hostages to. How do the police know this location without an address? Are there any new bean factories? Is this the only one? And what is a bean factory?
      • The "Oval Office" set is obviously just set up in the corner of someone's basement and is full of strange design choices, including a giant presidential seal, a desk covered in at least four different telephones, and a ceramic seagull that Rich surmises is there because they couldn't find a bald eagle in time. Jessi jokes that any moment the camera will pull back and reveal it to be in a psych ward.
    • Canadian guest Jim describes Killing American Style as like something "filmed on another planet." He's not wrong.
    • When asked to explain the film:
      Jay: Rich Evans, explain what happens in Killing American Style
      Rich: Colin?
      Colin: Plays a 3-second long fart noise
      Rich: There you go.
      Jay: Wait, what was that?
      Colin: Plays another 3-second long fart noise
      Rich: I'm not sure I caught all of that.
      Colin: Plays a third brief fart noise
      Jay and Rich: Oooooh, okay.
    • The back of the box strangely credits a character it describes as a "sexual sadist" As Himself. Confusion over this and a dozen other grammar and style errors in the description leaves Jay feeling physically exhausted by the end of it, before they've even started watching the movie.
    • Rich and Mike destroy the worst tape with the power of breakdancing, featuring some spot-on 80s editing, camerawork, and costumes juxtaposed with their complete lack of talent or athleticism. Predictably, it ends with Rich breaking his back and Mike and the cameraman running away from his cries of pain.
  • Episode 21: High Voltage, Death Spa, Space Mutiny
    • The panel notes an impressive and painful-looking stunt in High Voltage, with Rich off-handedly claiming that he would use that shot twenty times if he captured it for his movie. Guess what happens.
      • While Josh goes on about the technical details of the movie, the camera zooms in Mike's face contorting, apparently from his usual boredom... until he unleashes a Sneeze of Doom that knocks over one of the movies on their table, which he declares to be the Best of the Worst.
  • Episode 22: Shakma, Python 2, Beaks: The Movie
    • The panel's speculate about whether the concept for Shakma originated either with a man who had a pet baboon he wanted to put in a movie or with a script about a great ape that had to be adapted to a baboon for budget reasons.
      • At the "horrific" climax of the film, Shakma runs through a room on two legs. The crew let out a rare genuine "awwww" at the cute monkey, the film having utterly failed to make the small primate scary.
      • The overly long supercut of the characters saying "Over!" when communicating over their walkie-talkies.
      • A "Best of the Worst Fun Fact" points out that the baboon was made to try to get through a door by placing a female in heat on the other side. The camera then dramatically zooms in on the primate's huge erection.
    • The highlight of Python 2 for the panel is a strange-looking Russian soldier with a distinctive voice they name Tommy Wiseau.
      Rich: I don't know if he's a Russian actor who has a speech impediment or if he's an American who's putting on the world's worst Russian accent.
    • Jack's review of Beaks is as follows:
      Jack: I'm just saying that, if Alfred Hitchcock were a skinnier man, he'd be rolling over in his grave.
      • The back cover describes the film's protagonists as "vain" and "horny". Mike and Jay point out that these characteristics will definitely make the film unpleasant to watch as images of Padme and Anakin appear.
    • Jay's argument for Shakma as his favorite of the night is that, while it was the most boring of the animal attack films they watched, something about it stuck with him. He then goes a little far and starts comparing it to an art film, specifically Gus Van Sant's Gerry, while the rest of the panel's eyes glaze over and comic book thought bubbles appear above their heads.
      Jack: Gerry? What's Gerry?
      Rich: What the fuck is he talking about?
      Mike: Seinfeld? I love that show!
  • Episode 23: Wheel of the Worst #6note 
    • The crew are baffled by the strange editing choices in How Do I Know If I'm Really In Love, which include interrupting speakers mid-sentence with the sound of gunshots, random placement of 80s graphics, leaving in outtakes, repeating scenes, and randomly adding Thought Bubble Speech in the middle of speeches. The strangeness of it all builds to the point where the group collectively screams in bewilderment on more than one occasion and leads them to speculate how the editor must have been driven insane by the equally unfocused content.
      Mike: This was edited by Salvador Dalí.
      • When a teen girl starts singing about the reasons she broke up with her ex, Jessi immediately requests that she fall down the stairs she's standing next to. Rich escalates and says he hopes Robert Z'dar's brutal home invader from Killing American Style is waiting at the bottom.
      • Josh immediately yelling "STOP IT!" as the song begins.
      • Ted Danson (apparently As Himself and fresh off of Cheers) says a number of strangely pervy things in a video that's apparently marketed for teenagers, much to the group's confusion, as many of them seem totally unscripted and unsupported by the video itself. Mike assumes that he was forced to be in the video from a court order for community service.
      Ted Danson: But it's pretty obvious, I think, that the one thing the guy wants is sex- and rightly so! *laughs*
      Justine Bateman: *appears in a cartoon bubble next to Danson's head* Come on!
      Josh: *amidst general laughter* Holy balls!
    • The entire Osteoporosis Dance segment turns crossing lines into an art form and consists mainly of Mike cracking jokes at the expense of the elderly while Jessie and Colin nearly wet themselves laughing; Colin actually barely speaks at all because he's too busy laughing at Mike's relentless barrage.
      Mike: Ironically, they're nothing but bones at this point.
      • Jessi compares the video to The Dance of Birth and gives it a new name reflecting this: The Dance of Death.
      • The group gets a lot of mileage out of anticipating one of the elderly dancers tripping over a plant or knocking over the set. When this doesn't happen, they lay into one of the dancers (who they name "Linda") for her poor form.
      Jessi: Linda kept fucking up! She was the worst! She was seriously the worst osteoporosis dancer I've ever seen.
      Mike: And there's only two of them, so that's pretty fucking bad.
      • The panel speculates that the video had a Troubled Production due to a number of subtle changes in the set between shots. They attribute it to health problems interrupting the schedule and "Betty" and "Linda" being drama queens and terrible dancers.
      Mike: It was like the filming of Apocalypse Now with even more heart attacks!
    • American Flatulators is so bad that Rich Evans, out of nowhere, flips the table and screams at the end of the viewing.
      • When examining the cover, Mike remarks that he doesn't understand why the logo is a gas mask, as people normally don't fart in toilets. Cue incredulous stares from Jim and Colin, and Jay asking "What!?" from behind the camera.note 
    • When they try to decide just how they're going to go about destroying American Flatulators.
      Mike: We could fart on it until it explodesnote .
  • Episode 24: Theodore Rex, Carnosaur, Tammy and the T-Rex
    • When discussing the impact of Jurassic Park on 90s B-movies:
      Jay: Hey, Jack, do you remember The '90s?
      Jack: *hums "Semi-Charmed Life" and dances awkwardly* Yeah, I do.
      Jay: More specifically, do you remember Jurassic Park?
      Jack: Oh, Jurassic Park is a great movie!
      Jay: Jurassic Park is a great movie, right? I'm going to say that Jurassic Park is the worst thing to ever happen to dinosaurs. And that includes when they all died. Because, in the wake of Jurassic Park, there was renewed interest in dinosaurs. We've got all these dinosaur movies, Jack. *pulls out a comically tall stack of tapes* I mean, there's three Prehysteria movies, Adventures in Dinosaur City...
      Jack: That sounds awesome, a whole city made of dino- *Jay holds up Super Mario Bros.* oh.
      Jay: And, of course, who could forget Dennis the Menace... Dinosaur Hunter?
    • The panel need to give a "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer in the middle of describing all three movies with "sentences these movies allow to be true": Theodore Rexnote , Carnosaurnote , and Tammy and the T-Rexnote .
    • Jack and Jay note that the back of Theodore Rex emphasizes that Whoopi Goldberg was a recent Academy Award winner and question how many other first-time Oscar winners turn to dinosaur movies for their next project. Jay jokes that Cuba Gooding, Jr., did that one movie where he ran a sled team of dinosaurs.
      • The group feels rather uncomfortable about the film's attempts at Fantastic Racism, particularly when Whoopi Goldberg refers to dinosaurs as "you people".
      Rich Evans: Was Whoopi Goldberg comfortable doing this? *in studio exec voice* "We're going to make a movie where you're playing a racist!"
      Josh: Was she dating Ted Danson at this point?note 
      • The panel's criticism of Whoopi Goldberg's annoying partner in the opening scene and their awkward dialogue. Rich's comment on the scene is the page quote for Chandler's Law.
      Josh: A truck explodes to stop them talking.
      Rich: That's the screenwriter saying, "We've got to stop this banter immediately! Abort! Abort!"
      Rich: "You have a Character Arc now."
      • Following this, the panel notes that Rex ultimately saves the day by the sheer luck of his tail accidentally hitting a button, meaning that his tail had more of an arc than he did.
    • Rich and the rest of the panel's childlike glee at the quality of the dinosaurs in Carnosaur.
      • Rich's deadpan imitation of the film's protagonist:
    • In the final discussion, Jay asks how anyone could compare these movies to Jurassic Park. Cut to a montage of the cringey comedy of Theodore Rex, the gory violence of Carnosaur, and the sheer clueless insanity of Tammy and the T-Rex set to the majestic John Williams score.
    • As Rich points out, Carnosaur came with a positive review from Gene Siskel.
      Rich: Gene Siskel had a good laugh after giving that a thumbs-up. He's like, "Fuck it, I'm dying; thumbs ups!"
    • Jack ultimately makes the "hipster" choice for Best of the Worst, claiming Carnosaur is too good for consideration and choosing the reviled Theodore Rex instead. When pressed for this choice, he offers this defense:
    • When the panel vote to destroy Theodore Rex, Jack actually squeals in protest.
      Jack: You can't kill Theodore Rex! It's a masterpiece!
  • Episode 25: The Item, The Crawlers, Blood Lock
    • Mike's characteristic greeting to Rich:
      Mike: Why, it looks like we're both wearing the same Halloween costume this year: horrible white trash that can't dress themselves. You even smell like a dumpster! Way to go fully in with the costume.
    • While discussing The Item, Jay begins to offer some praise for how pervertedly surreal the sex scene between the last survivor and the muppet-voiced alien slug puppet was, while the rest of the panel looks at him like he's mad. We are then treated to a portion of said scene, with an insert of Jay smiling appreciatively and even licking his lips during the screening.
      • Upon reading the back of the box's claims that The Item was "a Sundance groundbreaker."note 
      Mike: I don't think this ever played at Sundance. Maybe someone broke it on the ground outside of Sundance."
      • Mike correctly deduces from the synopsis that the film's setting in an apartment meant The Item was made by mediocre film students in their own house "with movie posters and empty pizza boxes everywhere". Mike then reads that the film characters "investigate their package", sending an already weakened Rich into hysterics. Rich can't help to slip in one last reference to "their package" himself, forcing even Mike to crack up in childish giggles.
      • Mike gets so frustrated at the film's hipster attempts to be quirky that he loudly declares mid-viewing that he wants to punch the movie.
      • Jack's "protective dad" characteristics come to the forefront at the alien sex scene.
      Jack: No, honey no! Oh no, not for this movie! Don't do it for this movie!
    • While the panel discusses the death of the town whore by the vines in The Crawlers, Mike jokingly wonders why the girl was so afraid of the vines when she could just use them to sexually satisfy herself. The camera then zooms in on Jessi, sporting an expression as if she's having second thoughts about Mike.
    • The panel ruthlessly tears into the terrible titular "blood lock", with Jessi suggesting it was children's artwork they stole from one of the crew's kids.
      • The panel tries to determine why the lock would have "an Amish symbol", as the Amish a) don't have their own alphabet and b) aren't renowned as vampire hunters. Jessi excitedly thinks she's figured it out, declaring that vampires hate the sun just like the Amish hate electricity. Mike doesn't miss a beat in pointing out that doesn't make a lick of sense.
      • The filmmakers obviously don't know the difference between "mortality" and "immortality", and the panel do not let it slide.
      • The panel, especially Jessi, are baffled by the specificity of the female protagonist's extended dream sequence, particularly her imaginary boyfriend and the bizarre and completely irrelevant details she attributed to him, including a "Mullets Rule" t-shirt and a jar sitting in his bedroom that, judging by the label, is full of farts.
  • Episode 26: Wheel of the Worst #7note 
    • Mike offhandedly comments that he hates the middle-aged Patch Adams-style nurse on the cover of one of the tapes on the wheel, despite not watching the video, and hopes she gets ebola. Quotes praising the nurse for her warmth and bedside manner immediately fill the screen, including "Patty is such a wonderful person. I hope no fatso neckbeard ever wishes her to get ebola."
    • When Ice Dams: Causes, Combats, and Cures shows the effects of ice buildup over time on a house:
      Mike: Look, this was shot over a year! This is like the Boyhood of ice dam videos, except much more emotional and I'm invested in it.
    • The crew talking about the possibility of a bear-shaped airbag. Especially when comic book artist Freddie Williams does pencil renderings of a decapitated kid being hugged by Air Bag Bear.
    • The seemingly unintentional Reaction Shot of the kids in How to Be a Teenage Ninja looking bored and disinterested at their sensei's elaborate sword kata sends the group into hysterics.
      Caption: Please do not update Frank Miller's Wikipedia page to include the fact that he wrote the lyrics to the "Ninja Rap" song in ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze''.
      Freddie was just joking. Please do not do this. note 
      • Rich's comment on the video's repetition and use of Stock Footage:
      Rich: The video's 35 minutes long and it took them 20 minutes to film it.
    • Rich prank calling the guys behind Dog Sitter as Don Wilson, a crazy guy who runs "Iowa's largest wildlife preserve!" who wants to make a video for giraffes involving parading them around New York City and shooting beams of radiation in the eyes of torrenters. note 
      • The crew's reaction to the scene of monkey riding a dog at a rodeo, which is just weird enough for Jay to declare it the best thing they watched that night.
  • The Star Wars Holiday Special video has the panel go out of its way NOT to discuss the the special itself, constantly going off-topic to discuss new movies, new trailers, and life stories.
    • Going with the Christmas theme, Rich Evans opens his presents, only to find out each is a different copy of the Holiday Special. His takeaway? "Baby Jesus is an asshole."
    • They talk about "Rich Evans Reacts to Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer", acting like they don't know who that was in the video, but talking about how embarrassing it must be to have a viral image of yourself simulating masturbation with a droid toy while wearing a Darth Vader mask. Rich nearly melts into the floor from resigned embarrassment, all while that particular scene plays on a loop while they talk about it.
    • Rich explains that the first time he saw the Holiday Special was in 2000, prompting Mike to point out that it was before 9/11.
    Rich: Yes, of course, that's a wonderful thing to bring up during this cheerful holiday discussion about Star Wars!
    Jay: Younger people, that's a pretty good way to approach it actually, pre-September 11th, post-September 11th.
    Jack: No!
    Jay: It was a different time, Jack.
    Jack: Not many people knew about the Star Wars Holiday Special, but some people knew about September 11th
    Rick: Well, it's just I think disaster was on my mind, so obviously that led to the Star Wars Holiday Special
    Jay: (to Jack) This is all staying in, by the way.
    • Rich gets a phone call while they're filming, and the rest of the panel tells him to answer it on camera as punishment.
      Rich: Hello? Oh, hey. What's going on?
      Mike: It's Lumpy.
      Rich: Oh, really? Was it depressing?
      Mike: Another funeral.
      Rich: Oh, that's good. That's good.
      Mike: [to Rich] Tell him about the video.
      Rich: [to Mike] Shut up, I'm trying to talk to eight people, this is... [to caller] No, we're filming a round table discussion of the Star Wars Holiday Special...[cracks up laughing]...and then you called, yeah.
      Jack: And someone forgot to turn off their ringer.
      Mike: Someone forgot to turn off their ringer. A true professional.
      Rich: I get one phone call every year, goddamnit! I will talk to you later, Terry, alright?
      Mike: [speaking directly into Rich's phone] Rich has been drinking!
      Rich: [sighs] Buh-bye. [hangs up]
      Mike: Now, back to 9/11.
    • Mike's story of a crappy horror movie convention he attended in 2004, which he brings up as "the Joe Pilato story" as a means to segue from a discussion of Day of the Dead (1985). He forgets nearly all the details of the convention, so that Jay ends up having to tell most of the story for him, and it turns out that he never even met Joe Pilato in person, just saw him wandering around drunk wearing nothing but a bathrobe. He did have wings with Michael Berryman, which makes the rest of the group wonder why it wasn't called "the Michael Berryman story".
    • The Running Gag of someone (usually Jack) pointing out that they've gone off-topic and returning to an earlier tangent, the special completely forgotten.
    • Mike mentions Ishtar, at which point the entire trailer of the film is played. This is not discussed again, but another mention of the film later on causes half the trailer to be played again. In The Stinger, the opening of the trailer is played a third time. An editor was really having fun with this episode.
    • The crew suggests that the real reason Robert Orci stepped down as director to Star Trek 3 was that he read his own script, forgot he wrote it, and thought it was terrible. They then suggest that since J. J. Abrams is directing The Force Awakens, George Lucas could potentially take the director's seat for Star Trek. Cue hysterical, sarcastic laughter.
    • The Jump Scare with Bruce Vilanch.
    • The passive-aggressive "fun facts":
      Fun Fact: Rich is asking a question Jack answered 30 seconds ago because he's not paying attention.
    • When Jay launches into an interesting spiel about Smokey and the Bandit Part III, they strike again:
      Fun Fact: Jay is mostly incorrect.
    • Part 2 does involve actual discussion of the movie. It all ends wonderfully with the group realizing that if they destroyed their copies they'd be doing George Lucas a favor. Cue a montage of the gang duplicating and shipping out the Holiday Special just to spite Lucas.
    • Mike spitting out an ice cube in the middle of a sentence, complete with a ricochet sound effect, which flies across the table and nearly lands in Jack's drink. Mike tries to continue the conversation like nothing happened, but everyone else is laughing and questioning why he did that.
      Mike: Oh fuck, it was my tooth.
      Jack: You spit it on my drink, dog!
      Josh: (Off-screen) The fuck just happened?
      Jay: (Laughs)
      Mike: We should mention that as seen on the back-
      Jack: That wasn't normal!
     2015 Episodes 
  • Episode 28: Alienator, Alien from the Deep, Hands of Steel
    • As the crew were about to finish discussing Alienator...
    Mike: Jay, would you recommend Alienator?
    Jay: (chuckling) This isn't Half in the Bag! That's not how this works!
    (Mike gives a very embarrassed take)
    • Rape as Drama is such a common trope in the movies that they watch that Mike accidentally misreads the synopsis of Alien from the Deep thinking that it was a part of that movie as well.
      Mike: "The super-hot Maria- Giulia Cuvelli- manages to escape, and she is savaged by a snake farmer who lives alone in the jungle."
      Jack: So one of the hippies who tried to protect the volcano gets raped by a snake farmer.
      Mike: Yes.
      Jack: That's great, that's great.
      Mike: Oh, I'm sorry! Uh, completely different, uh, connotation here, I...did I say "savaged"?
      Jack: You said savaged.
      Mike: Okay, "saved".
      Jack: (laughs)
      Mike: I was wondering why they would work together to bring down the company after she was "savaged" by him, but I misread "saved".
  • Episode 29: Blood Debts, The Tomb, Undefeatable
    • "Rich Evans Is Defeatable", complete with an edited version of Undefeatable's opening. Pay special attention to Mike both times.
      • Rich's inability to say the word "necessitate" without screwing it up.
      Rich: He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessisate- nessitate two.
      Josh: You think you can get there?
      Jack: Try that again.
      Rich: He hasn't collected enough eyes yet to nessitate two.
      Josh: You think you can get there? "Necessitate".
      Rich: Necessitate.
      Mike: Do you want another beer, Rich?
      Rich: Ness- Huh?
      Jay: It's "necessitate".
      Mike: You're missing a whole syllable.
      Rich: He doesn't have enough eyes yet to nesessisate- nesett- nett- FUCK IT! Fuck it, I'm done!
      • This leads Rich to muse that he could be working in a tollbooth instead of this, which prompts Josh to quip "You think you could get that job?". This finally breaks Rich, who gets up to leave, leading Mike to decide he was "Defeatable".
      "Rich Evans is Defeatable"
    • Later, when the panel is discussing the street fighting as it's portrayed in Undefeatable, Mike remarks that it's like the touch football version of actual street fighting. Not ten seconds later, Rich says the same thing, which Josh and Jack promptly point out. This also breaks Rich, who gets up and leaves yet again.
    • When Josh is reading the description for Undefeatable...
    Josh: "A brutal killer ignites the fight of a lifetime. Karate champion and martial arts superstar Cynthia Rothrock", remember Cynthia Rothrock?
    Rich: Was she on The Flintstones?
    (Beat as the music stops and the two stare at each other)
  • Wheel of the Worst #8note :
    • One of the tapes on the wheel is a Y2K survival guide hosted by Leonard Nimoy. Mike says from behind the camera "It's a good thing it wasn't a COPD survival guide".
    • One of the other tapes is a birthday party entertainment tape, and one of the features listed is "kids make their own balloon animals". Jack jokes that they should go and get balloons. Mike says "We have condoms. A lot of them."
    • Rich Evans tells a story about a guy he once knew that had a full-sized poster of himself as a kid in a Wendy's ad hanging up in his bedroom. While the point was to compare it to the video with the failed child actors, the rest of the panel just riffs on Rich's story.
      Rich: You're an old man now. Take that picture of you in a Wendy's ad from 1991 off of the fucking wall.
      Mike: The real question is "how did you end up in his bedroom?"
      Rich: He was just showing me his place. He was like, "Come on, come on here and see this."
      Jay: That's how they get you. That's why you don't talk to strangers, Rich. You needed this video.
      Mike: Did he try to sell you Amway? Or did he try to put his finger in your ass?
      Rich: What the fuck, Mike?
      Jack: Did he turn on Huey Lewis and the News and put on a poncho?
      Rich: He showed me his Warhammer figurines.
      Mike: Did he take his balls out? His baseballs, 'cause you guys are avid fans of minor league baseball.
      Jack: Did he take his warhammer out?
      Mike: He said he had two big ones. He wants to show you his minor league bat and balls.
      Rich: I hate you so much.
      Jay: Rich, you started to tell a story about a guy inviting you over to his house and you going into his bedroom. You had to have known this was gonna happen.
      Mike: After you guys both shared a footlong after the baseball game, he said (Corpsing) "put this wiener in your mouth". "You wanna share a weiner?" That's what he said. And Rich said, "Okay!" "Let's [get] back at my place. I wanna show you my 'Wendy's ad'". Yeah right.
    • One of the segments in Twentieth Anniversary Geritol Follies has a short haired saxophone player, which prompts this quip from Mike.
      Mike: [In a Scottish accent] "Its a lesbian? With a saxophone? That's the only time she put something in her mouth! Oh ho ho ho ho!! At least if she is a lesbian, she can't get AIDS! [corpsing] Ohohohohohooooooo!!"
      Jack: What!?
      Mike: I don't know...
      Rich: She'll never have children.
      Mike: "She can't have children if she's a lesbian!"
    • Upon mentioning how Eddie Eagle managed to always show up to the window of a kid with a gun, Rich puts forward the hypothetical scenario where Eddie Eagle shows up too late.
      Eddie!Jack: I fucked up, man! I fucked up bad!
  • Episode #31: Lady Terminator, Lost in Dinosaur World, Low Blow
    • The group are absolutely enamored with Leo Fong's character in Low Blow (who they refer to exclusively as "Low Blow") for how he subverts every cool action hero trope by being just a lazy slob with The Alleged Car.
  • In Wheel of the Worst #9, the crew is so bored from the third tape that Rich Evans wordlessly steps out, goes back to the wheel, and rips Rainbow's Remedy off of it.
    • The whole panel seeing Eloise Cole in her clown outfit as a demon. Rich Evans calls her the Mesopotamian death goddess Eloisecol.
    • The discussion for Backyard Stunting turns into a barrage of gay jokes.
    • The panel makes a bunch of jokes about how Eloise Cole wanted people to die so that she could feed off of their grief and turn them into clowns.
      • After their jokes, Jay tells the panel from off camera that Eloise Cole is dead. Colin bursts out laughing, and Highway to Hell starts playing.
  • Jack correctly figures out that The Jar was basically a college art film within seconds of it starting, before a single visual had appeared on screen.
    • From the same episode: everyone's horrified reactions to Robert Ginty's character having some seriously strong vibes about having sex with his sister in White Fire.
    • Each of the three times Mike starts taking a long drink from his oversized novelty flask, accompanied by the mournful tones of Greenwich Village and slowly washing out all the color.
    • At the beginning of The Jar, the group notices a near-cinematic shot of the protagonist's face being lit up during a head-on driving scene.
      Rich: But what suddenly turned on in the car to light up his face?
      Josh: Oh, his crotch turned on.
    • Rich inflicting the task of explaining The Jar on Mike.
    Rich: "Mike, would you tell us all about The Jar, because fuck you?"
    • When Josh insinuates that there might have been something interesting in The Jar.
    Jay: There's nothing funny-bad in this.
    Josh & Mike: No.
    Jay: And there's nothing interesting.
    Josh: (High-pitched "I don't know about that" noise)
    Rich: No. No! (points at Josh) No!
    • When The Jar is selected to be destroyed, Scientist Man returns to put the VHS tape into a jar of acetone.
  • Rich (and, eventually, the rest of the crew's) rapid Sanity Slippage while watching and then trying to describe the plot of Double Down, which is enough to reduce Max Landis to tears.
    • Max, Jay, and Mike egging on Rich produces some truly stand-out Rich-isms.
      "I need to think about this, goddammit! You can't just interrupt me when I'm talking about a Neil Breen film."
      "WE SEE HIS BALLSACK! WE SEE HIS BALLSACK!! He's the best! He has the best ballsack! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
      "This movie is nothing but stuff. It's meaningless, empty stuff that has no purpose. But it's the best stuff! It's the best stuff that has ever been, because Neil Breen is the best at stuff, and Neil Breen is the best person who has ever eaten tuna!"
    • This gem:
      Max: Is she a skull or a ghost?
      Rich: Well, sometimes she's a skost.
    • As Rich's frenzied explanations continue, the number of jump cuts keeps increasing as we keep shifting between different angles of the group at the table and clips of the film, making it look like the video is having a seizure because of how stupid the movie is.
    • Josh isn't on the panel, but his outburst of "FUCK YOU, TUNA! I DON'T NEED YOU ANY MORE!" during the screening stands out as indicative of just how much an effect the film had on its viewers.
    • Many of the general reactions to the film as the crew watches it are hilarious themselves- both Max and Mike slip out of their seats to get closer to the screen, Jack assumes a quasi-kung fu stance in an effort to understand some scenes, and Josh violently pounds on the sofa in reaction to Breen's character literally curing cancer.
    • Max sums up the movie thusly:
      Max: Honestly, our review for this movie, us all just descending into lunacy while Rich tried to explain, I started weeping. I was full crying, and not in a "ha-ha" way. Like in the end of 2001. I was a monkey looking at a monolith. I saw myself as a baby floating in space. Fuck this movie. Fuck this! Seven days! I feel like I just saw something not of this earth.
    • Rich's reaction to being informed that Blues Brothers 2000 is a sequel.
    • Rich mocking the tacked-on questions regarding How I Saved The President's nonexistent morals, by saying that you could apply similar questions to Taxi Driver.
      Rich: Travis Bickle tried to shoot the senator. Is that wrong?
    • Max cutting off Mike's gay joke at Jay's expense. "Because he's gay, Mike! Leave it alone!"
  • In their "A Very Cannon Christmas" video, while covering Invasion U.S.A. (1985), Mike keeps referring to Richard Lynch as David Bowie. They surmise that it may be partly due to them looking extremely similar. Jay is pretty adamant that they look nothing alike. A side-by-side comparison of the two is then shown with a Best of the Worst Fun Fact: "Richard Lynch looks exactly like David Bowie".
    • Chuck Norris has so many Big Damn Heroes moments in the film that the crew starts wondering how he's able to pull them off so effortlessly.
      [After Hunter thwarts the terrorists' attempt to blow up a house.]
      Rich: How is he finding these people?
      Josh: He's got Chuck Norris radar.
      Jay: He's got his intuition.
      Rich: He's got terrorist senses.
    • Mike at one point gets exasperated by Chuck Norris's lack of acting skill.
      [As Hunter is slowly getting rid of his guns in the movie.]
      Mike: Should he be acting here? Like... [mimes checking guns for ammo in a rush] Like, putting in [magazines]... Or is...
      Jay: He's calm, he's cool.
      Josh: Yeah, he's unflappable.
      Rich: He's a big badass.
      Mike: Yeah, I get that, but...
      Jay: Also, he can't act.

     2016 Episodes 
  • The highlight of Wheel of the Worst #10: Exploding Varmints, Part 1.
    • When the first two videos turn out to be duds, Rich and Jack proceed to rig the wheel with Exploding Varmints as the only possible video left to pick.
    • The priceless reactions to the video, due to the video using the necessary job of varmint extermination as an excuse to shamelessly show off constant (and gory) eradication of prairie dogs using excessively overpowered ammunition.
    • Part of their discussion of Exploding Varmints is explaining why they're not horrible people for laughing at the video of exploding varmints.
    • When it was time to pick Best of the Worst, Mike asks "Jay, what's your excuse?"
    • Rich Evans saying that Larry Lonic from the Motherlode video may be on the autistic spectrum. Mike says he can't say that, because everyone freaked out the last time he did.
      Rich: I don't give a shit. He's autistic. ["#autistic-shaming" appears over Rich] If people freak out, I don't know, grow a fucking backbone. ["#scoliosis-shaming"] Learn to take a comment you don't like and not freak out. Get laid! ["#infrequent-intercourse-shaming"] I'm Rich Evans. I've gotten laid, you can do it.
      Mike: Eww. I'd rather watch the Motherlode video again than think about that.
    • "I looked [Larry] up online. Thank God he's dead."
    • During the psychologist skit in Motherlode:
      Rich (as Psychologist): You know, I normally wouldn't advise this, but I think you should kill yourself. I'm writing you a prescription for a rope.
    • The kicker is the end of said skit, where it ends on a cliffhanger after Larry puts a blindfold on his psychologist.
      [As Larry takes out a blindfold from his pocket.]
      Mike: Oh my God. Aww jeez! I thought was gonna take his c*bleep*k out.
    • Jack mentions how small niche subcultures can be. Rich points out how they themselves are part of a niche of people who enjoy watching bad movies, and how the audiences can also intersect.
      Rich: Our audience likes AIDS and 9/11... and Star Wars. Star Wars, AIDS, and 9/11.
    • "What's our next tape Rich?" "HIV/AAAAAAAAIIIIDS and Older Americans".
      • When they speculate that the video is about older americans treating AIDS patients.
        Rich: (in old person voice) I got you some soup. Chicken soup will cure everything, except AAAAAAAAIIIIDS.
      • Just as a cherry on top, the video was made in September 2001.
        Mike: "I'm finally gonna help people with AIDS with this vid—oh, no!"
    • Mike's reaction to the cover of Babyvision:
      Mike: Five percent of the profits from the sale of Babyvision will be donated to the Guild for Infant Survival of SIDS. How does an infant survive SIDS? It's called 'suddent infant death syndrome'. You don't survive SIDS.
  • Mike's Troperiffic pre-typed Long List of the different elements crammed into Order of the Black Eagle that, in his words, "make it amazing that it's not the best movie we've ever seen."note 
    • Also in Order of the Black Eagle, they bring up a scene where a character runs over a mook's head with an ATV, in a way that looks like the actor ran over the stuntman by accident. Mike said it reminded them of the really well-done stunt in High Voltage, which they watched on their first Battle of The Genres. Jay says "That stunt was so good, you could watch it 20 times. Cue the clip being played 19 times. Rich points out the discrepancy, and when Mike says "one more time", they play it 20 more times.
    • On the first scene that introduces the baboon at a dinner party:
      Jay: They're all thinking it. "Is he fucking that baboon?"
    • During the discussion of Wired to Kill, Mike goes on a bizarre tangent, claiming that the wheelchair-bound protagonist was crippled by his sledgehammer-wielding, romantically-obsessed grandmother.
      Jay: You are writing your own fanfiction! You wrote Wired to Kill fanfiction as we were watching the movie!
      Rich: And he's shipping the son and the grandmother!
  • Best of the Worst's first Plinketto episode has an overly long gag of Rich Evans introducing the Plinketto machine, getting a ladder, climbing the ladder, realizing he doesn't have a puck, climbing down the ladder, moving the ladder, finding a puck, moving the ladder, back, climbing the ladder again then finally landing on a movie: Double Dragon.
    • The stereotypical "game show host" voice Mike and Jack put on when introducing Rich and Jay.
      Jay: Why is this board making everyone talk like a weirdo?
    • Dr. Butcher is such a tiring movie the discussion keeps getting derailed by other subjects. Since the movie is about people going to an island of cannibals, Rich Evans tells the audience "If you go on an expedition, and you're the only fat guy, don't get on the boat." The crew then start to discuss what kind of person would be the tastiest to eat. Eventually, they settle on Shaq as being pretty tasty. Mike then prods Rich Evans into saying "I want that juicy Shaq meat" for the express purpose of making a meme out of it. Just when it seems like Josh gets the discussion back to the movie, Rich Evans grabs his mic and says "I want that juicy Shaq meat" directly into it.
      • As a follow-up, Mike tries to get Rich to say "I want that bloody Magic Johnson meat."
        Rich: Look, we are only having Magic Johnson well done.
    • After Rich flubs a joke about the mailman thug in Double Dragon committing suicide, Mike encourages him to try again, only to interrupt him when he actually tries.
      Mike: The moment's passed, Rich.
      Rich: Y'know what? Go fuck yourself. What am I, Charlie Brown trying to kick a football?
      Mike: Nonono. You guys be quiet. Do another take of it. I'll even drink while you do it.
      Josh: [setting up the joke] Leave an exclamation point, not a question mark.
      Rich: ...Well, if he fell from higher, he would've left a lot of—
      Mike: Our next film is called Deathstalker.
    • When it comes time to pick the Best of the Worst, Josh picks Double Dragon, Mike picks "none", Jack picks the beer he's holding, and Rich picks Kazaam, because "it has a genie and I wish I never saw these movies".
      Josh: Am I seriously going to be the only person who fucking votes?
      Mike: He doesn't have to pick one if he doesn't want to.
      Josh: Since when?!
      Rich: Oh, wait, let me get out the "Best of the Worst" rulebook.
    • Near the end of the episode, when Mike threatens to destroy everything on the table, Josh takes Double Dragon and leaves.
    • The final words of the episode:
      Mike: Well, that concludes another episode of Best of the Worst.
      Josh: [raises his glass to the audience] Thank you. We'll never be back.
  • Wheel of the Worst #11 makes Rich Evans into one big Butt-Monkey again and again.
    • One of the video tapes involving Henry Winkler and children and he's giving a double thumbs up. Mike tries to goad and trick Rich into appearing as some kind of dirty minded pervert.
    • When describing a tape called How Can I Make Real Friends?, Mike says "Now, Rich, I know you know nothing about how to make real friends, but...", which makes Rich turn and walk away in silence.
      • Mike somehow misread How Can I Make Real Friends? as How Can I Get Naked Real Fast?
    • The Running Gag of Rich Evans throwing the Revenge tape on the floor whenever a joke is made about it at his expense.
    • At the end of the creepy How to Seduce Women Through Hypnosis Mike begins to tell a story how Rich used hypnotism to put him in a compromising position. Rich just sits sullenly and is implied to want revenge.
    • Everyone gives Rich crap and laugh for a long time when he calls a whoopie cushion a "fart bag."
    • When "detective" Quinn Vickers in the video makes a malaproper.
      Vickers: I have this client, whose best friend came to him, and talked him into investing in a real eskate scam.
      Mike and Jay: "Real eskate scam?"
      Rich: "Real eskate scam"...Dad?
    • When everyone's joking about the things they did to the "detective", Mike adds "And Rich put a bunch of (bleep) on your (bleep)!". Whatever he saidnote  caused Rich to go "For fuck's sake!" and throw the tape off the table again.
    • Mike knows how to get his revenge after watching "How To Get Revenge"
      Mike: Well, Jack, it's your turn to spin the wheel, and you better land on something good. Cause I've learned plenty of ways to get revenge on you. I'm going to hypnotize and rape you... because I didn't learn shit from that last tape.
    • At one point, Jack correctly guesses that the next revenge plot will involve making people think that one of their sexual partners has syphilis, causing a very drunk Mike to flip over the ottoman and to lift one end of the couch, knocking Rich's drink onto the floor in the process.
      Mike: (screaming and laughing) FUCKING SYPHILIS! FUCK YOU, JACK! FUCKING SYPHILIS!
      Rich: I had a drink on there! It's all over the floor now!
    • Jack revealing that he's actually a woman and Rich disgustedly proclaiming that he had sex with him.
  • In Episode 41, Pocket Ninjas, Cyclone and Dangerous Men.
    • When reading the video box for Dangerous Men stating that it's full of "what the fuckery", they express doubt — followed by a super-cut of the entire crew screaming, "WHAT?! NO! WHAT??!?!?!" and Rich tossing cushions at the screen.
    • Pocket Ninjas had so many stupid and frustrating moments, that whenever there was a dumb scene, Rich took a random pillow in the room and lightly threw it at the TV.
    • Jack reached his breaking point near the end of the same movie, and threw everything, setting the bar higher for Rich, who decided he would out-throw Jack later with Dangerous Men.
      Youngest Ninja: Wow! Where'd you learn to fight like that?
    • By the time Pocket Ninjas starts its sixth training montage, all Rich can muster is to say "I have so much hate".
    • Rich Evans starts the discussion by taking a Five Hour Energy so that he can stay awake. He says it tastes "like burning". He takes advantage of leading the conversation to introduce the movies, just so he doesn't have to talk about any of them.
    • Jack is delighted to be given Pocket Ninjas to describe.
      Jay: (to Josh) You know what this means? It means that you or I have to talk about Dangerous Men.
    • Jay's sincere "Oh, fuck" when he realizes he's going to have to describe Dangerous Men.
    • The second scene of the film are a closeup of breasts. Jack laughs, "Oh, Fred Olen Ray." Jay remarks that it's actually Foreshadowing, saying that that scene had a purpose, to remind the viewer breasts exist, and there's a place you can hide an important MacGuffin.
      Rich: (holds one imaginary boob) Setup. (holds the other imaginary boob) Setup. (bounces both) Payoff.
    • The crew point out how the female lead in Cyclone doesn't really do much in the movie, and it leads to this:
      Rich: The man shows up on a computer screen, tells her to go to another man who can handle the situation. And then, when the other man gets shot, she has to run away.
      Jay: And then wait for a tougher woman...
      Jack: ...who is clearly a lesbian — so, basically, a man — to save her.
      [everyone starts laughing and facepalming]
      Jack: Wow, that's... [looks to camera] Send your complaints to ""!
    • Dangerous Men was a baffling movie, but it was only when the movie ends on a freeze frame of two characters that have had barely any screen time and a woman that had just been introduced that it set off another Rich Evans rampage.
      Jay: (baffled) So...this movie took 26 years, not to finish, but to just stop being made.
    • During the whole episode, Rich is wearing a shirt, sent in by a fan, that says "Rich Wants That Juicy Shaq Meat", complete with a picture of Shaq's face covering the entire back.
      • With Josh's disdain for how the last episode went, Rich tries to reassure him by saying that the're going to actually talk about the movies they watch. The first movie? Steel, starring Shaq. Josh's response? Taking the DVD, leaving the building, and throwing the DVD into Lake Michigan.note 
  • Wheel of the Worst #12:
    • Rosanne, the woman performing the ventriloquism with Ms. Udderly, is able to throw her voice, but not without making faces, which makes her look like a nutcase whenever the puppet talks. At one point, she seems to look offscreen and shake her head with a look of contempt as she tries to teach Ms. Udderly about the letter P.
    • Rich wondering what a Vulcan children program would be like:
      Rich: (monotone) This is just a puppet. It is not an actual cow. These are the letters you are required to learn: A... B... C... D... There will be a quiz.
  • Plinketto #2:
    • Rich Evans calling out the YouTube comments for the number of "Is X replacing Y?" jokes.
    • The Running Gag of Rich Evans doing a Totally Radical "WHOOOOOOOA" during every scene with a skateboard trick. During the scene where the skateboard flies, he does one that lasts 10 seconds.
    • Since Wilford Brimley is one of the main characters in Mutant Species, they wonder if Dan Haggerty and Dom DeLuise had diabetes.
      Jack: [Dom] had...Dom DeLubetes?
      Rich: That's where you need insulin and Burt Reynolds to get by in life.
    • After bringing up that the love interest for the main character in Skateboard Kid is technically his step sister by the end of the movie, Mike says "it's like The Brady Bunch but with more fucking". Rich Evans laments that "no one fucked Dom DeLuise".
      • This sets off an entire discussion over how Dom DeLuise could accidentally get someone pregnant, and how he himself could get pregnant. Squick, Crosses the Line Twice, and Funny galore.
      • The high point was probably when Jay, after all of the candid and ridiculous sex jokes at Dom DeLuise's expense, simply had to correct a grievous falsehood that had taken root in their discussion: Dom DeLuise doesn't play racketball.
    • When Mike landed on "Player's Choice", he picked the one that starred Denise Crosby (Lt. Tasha Yar from Star Trek: The Next Generation). When it was voted as the tape to be destroyed, Rich Evans proposed that it should be killed by a tar monster. The final scene of the episode is the VHS box for the movie edited into Tasha Yar's death scene.
  • Parole Violators features a scene in an auto shop where the characters have to yell at each other to be heard over the noise... despite the fact that the noise isn't very loud. Colin then says "What?"note , obviously to mock the poor audio mixing. The very next thing out of a character's mouth is a genuine "What?". Colin somehow managed not to do a Spit Take.
    • When Colin is reading the back of the case for Parole Violators, the description mentions the antagonist being a convicted child molester on parole. Rich Evans immediately puts his head in his hand and walks away, shouting from off-camera "I'm through with rape!".
    • Mike: I think I'm traumatised by all these movies. I think I just know what's gonna happen. It's like... the minutes leading up to an execution...
      Jim: [with utmost enthusiasm] Future Force!
      Mike: [laughs]
    • After watching Future Force, they talk about how David Carradine and Cameron Mitchell are very similar, in that they were both action movie stars before becoming alcoholics. Rich Evans says that the two should have starred in a movie together about two washed up alcoholic detectives. Colin says that they should use that de-aging CGI to make a virtual David Carradine.
      Colin: My God, his eyes look so lifeless... It's perfect!
    • In Geteven, they mention that John DeHart has terrible stage presence, and that his wide-eyed stare while singing on stage makes him look like a Deer in the Headlights, or that someone is pointing a gun at him from off-camera.
    • "Geteven" is such a Gary Stu wish fulfillment of writer/star/co-director John DeHart in which he is a "talented" action hero, country singer, and comedian. Despite his terrible stage presence, the entire club is dancing and cheering him on. A waiter he continually tells bad jokes praises his wit. Women find him irresistible.
    • There is an excruciating sex scene in which the topless Playboy Playmate Pamela Jean Bryant slowly bobs up and down in DeHart's lap as one of his terrible songs plays. The guys begin substituting their own lyrics: "Do you want to ruin your life?"
    • Since each movie got at least one vote from the panel, they didn't want to destroy any of them. Rich Evans proposes that, since each of the movies had their entertaining parts, they should "destroy" them by combining them into one superior movie, titled Parole Force Violators; Even. They do just that by ending the episode with a montage of clips from all three movies, somewhat connected to each other, all set to "Shimmy and Slide" by John DeHart.
  • The 2016 Halloween Special:
    • When Mike looks at the cover for Scary or Die, Corbin Bleu's name is partially obscured by a sticker, so he says that the movie stars "Bill Oberst Jr. and a Cordon Bleu chicken".
    • Rich Evans seems to be doing a hand chopping gesture every time he is emphasizing how the production on the movies feels rushed, so a karate chop sound effect is edited in every time he does it.
    • Introducing the second movie of the night, Jack admits that he has completely forgotten what it was. Jay kicks himself for revealing the title himself instead of just handing the discussion straight over to Jack and letting him freeze up trying to remember.
      Jack: They didn't tell me I was gonna be on the panel, so I got drunk.
      Josh: Oddly enough, I wanted to be on the panel, so I got drunk.
    • Jay mishears Rich, and thinks he says that the robots in Chopping Mall will "hump down" the adults instead of "hunt them down". Jay interprets this as the robots' motivation being just to get laid.
      Rich: (in robot voice) Trump-bots! Grab them by the pussy!
    • Discussing Exorcist II: The Heretic, Jack does an admirable job trying to explain Pazuzu's motivation, only to screw it up at the last minute by confusing Linda Blair with Linda Hamilton.
    • Jay says he feels like he's in a bizarro world because Rich and Jack are defending the weirdness of Exorcist II, while he and Josh, who usually like the artsy movies with symbolism, are saying it's bullshit.
    • At the end of the episode, Chopping Mall is unanimously picked as Best of the Worst over Exorcist II. Since all of them picked a straightforward B movie over a high-budget lofty movie, Rich Evans points and looks to the camera and says "Suck on that, metaphors!"
    • While the crew were discussing which movie to destroy, a Malaproper from Rich brings us this tidbit.
      Jay: So what film do we want to destroy, if any?
      Rich: [really fast] Scare or Die.
      Jay: Skate or Die!?
      Rich: [slowly] Scare or Die.
      Jay: The video game? I remember Skate or Die!
      Rich: [in a Totally Radical tone] Let's trash Scare or Die!
      Jack: [as a picture of beer bottles fades in] We should destroy Scare or Die with a sweet skateboard move like grinded on a rail with a-
      Jay: So, Josh. Is there any film that you wanna destroy?
      Josh: Oh, I'd love to destroy Scary or
    • At the end, Rich pointing out that the set for the Halloween episode is for some reason a random backyard instead of anything actually related to Halloween. He then begins digging through the fake grass to expose the studio floor underneath it.
  • In Wheel of the Worst #13, their attempt to watch a third tape that wasn't incredibly boring led to them watching (at least some of) every single tape on the wheel. That is why all eight tapes are lined up on the table during the discussion. Josh described it as an episode that truly went Off the Rails.
    • When Jack starts talking about the main molester, he calls him the "Slow Burn" Molester. Cue a freeze frame title card of the guy, complete with a guitar riff.
    • "I wanna molest that kid!
    • Mike theorizes that the reason why Corny, the alien protagonist of the Stranger Danger video, attracts so many paedophiles and child molesters is because his species have four buttholes. Jack theorizes that Corny emits a pheromone that attracts older people to him, and Josh thinks that's it's simply because the molesters have gotten bored of the human kids that they're going after him.
      Jay: They're looking for something exotic.
    • The Running Gag of accusing Rich Evans of having a Beanie Baby collection.
    • Mike really wanted to land on Bear Attacks at the start, so he and the panel were disappointed to have the tape be mostly talking about bear attacks than showing them.
      Man in Denim: It's our heartfelt desire, not only to help learn more about the bear, but to help you avoid a bear attack, and even stop one.
      Mike: What if we don't want to stop one?
      Narrator: The subject of bear attacks has the potential to lead the public into thinking that every bear is a killer. That is simply not true.
      Mike: Hahaha, no it is.
      Rich: Why don't you go up to them and find out?
    • The group realizes the similarity in setup between their show and the How to Spot Counterfeit Beanie Babies tape. They then extrapolate from that.
      Josh: We are on public access, right?
      Mike: Somewhere, Becky, Becky, and Vicky are watching us, going "These weirdos are talking about weird video tapes"
      Jay: "Why would they waste their time on such an inconsequential thing?"
    • The group all agreed that Safe Crossing: An Egg-celent Idea looks like it was made by Wes Anderson. Jack called it "unintentional artistry".
  • For their 2016 Christmas special, the theme for the episode was "Christmas or Crocodile" (Each wrapped gift was either a Christmas movie or a movie with a crocodile/alligator in it). When Jack asks whose idea it was, the camera pans over to Rich Evans. Since Rich is holding the other camera, he rotates it to face himself.
    • The group were looking for a reason as to why Repligator was made, and came to the conclusion that the creator of the movie was a pervert who suffered a back injury and made and sold a "movie" to pay for the medical bills, and scammed his insurance by having an "on-set accident". (They are genuinely impressed by the violent stunt, calling him a "hero" for tumbling over his desk and awkwardly crashing into the ground, the office chair toppling over him.)
    • When Mike unwraps Johnson Family Christmas Dinner as the second movie, he acts surprised at Rich's pick to put under the tree. Rich grabs his lapel mic, and directly says "He's a fucking asshole. He's been wanting to watch this for months. He's been looking forward to it."
      • Johnson Family Christmas Dinner gets the loudest "WHAT?!?!" ever on the show with its No Ending, louder even than Dangerous Men.
      • Jay and Rich pick Johnson Family Christmas Dinner for Best of The Worst, not just for the unintentional humor, but for ending earlier than they expected, seemingly in the middle of the last scene. Mike compares it to getting out of jury duty, and Jay said that that was the most abrupt ending he'd seen since Dangerous Men.
      • They lose it during Johnson Family Christmas Dinner when the alcoholic brother dramatically says he's just gonna enjoy his wine, then takes a sip so shallow the wine in the glass very clearly doesn't even get close to his mouth.
      • When the whole family goes to bed apparently without actually eating dinner and the shots of them sleeping are very clearly shot during broad daylight, they joke the the entire family are actually all vampires, only to be caught off guard to see one of them sleeping standing up in the corner of the bedroom with his arms folded like a vampire in a coffin.
      • When the pot-smoking teenage son character finishes smoking in the bathroom and somebody goes to use it, he tells her he just "smelled it up" and that she should "use the master bedroom" instead. They know he probably meant to use the bathroom in the bedroom, but they spun off an entire subplot where she just shits on the bed and everyone is now wondering who did it, which they say would've completely saved the movie if they had actually done that.
      • Their confusion with the movie's subplot about two family members having car trouble and being unable to make it to the dinner, since at first the characters said the problem was with the oil because they bought it from "an Arab dude that made his own oil" only to then later say they just ran out of gas. They spun another entire sequel off of this where the two are kidnapped and the family need to go to the middle east to save them, Johnson Family Invade Iraq and Johnson Family Desert Storm.
    • Rich unwraps Gator Face as the third movie to watch, but when he sees that's a family comedy, he says he's just going to pretend to accidentally drop it on the ground. He does just that, including stepping on it and trying to fix it by breaking it in half, claiming it was a horrible accident.
    • While watching Alligator, the movie they ended up watching instead, Rich lets out a bored sigh, and Jay tells him to re-spool the Gator Face tape. The episode ends with Rich apologizing to Gator Face post-mortem, and avenging it by destroying every present they didn't open.
    • When they're talking about the little girl character in Alligator calling out the mustached man because he "just wants to suck on mommy's breasts", Jay looks to camera and says "I just want to remind everyone that this is our Christmas episode."
    • When asked for his Best of the Worst, Jack says that he doesn't feel like any of the movies truly represented him, and chose not to vote.
      Rich: So you're saying you're okay with all of them being Best of The Worst?
      Jack: What I'm saying is I'm comfortable with any of them being Best of the Worst because I don't want to choose one of them.
      Mike: No vote is still a vote for Trump...You negated my vote! Thanks, democracy!
      • The end of the same bit basically drops the small amount of subtlety.
        Rich: Thanks, Jack. Now we're stuck with the Johnson Family Christmas Dinner.
        Jay: The movie that no one really wants, but now here it is, it's Best of the Worst...
        Rich: It doesn't even want to go to the daily security briefings!
        Mike: And it's picking the worst people for its cabinet!
     2017 Episodes 
  • Mike's Cold Open introduction for the Plinketto board for Plinketto #3:
    Mike: Hey, everyone! It's back! Tall, wide, and filled with nonsense...why it's Josh! And also the Plinketto board!
    • Rich Evans constantly riffing during Josh's attempted explanation of The Survivor, including:
      • Suddenly SHOUTING! "Oh my God, this is so fucking boring!" while Josh is talking
      • Wondering if the audience is just bewildered while watching
      • Grabbing his lapel mic and saying "No one gives a shit" directly into it.
      • Asking Mike if YouTube keeps track of when people stop watching a video.
        Mike: Yes, they do. And it's right about now. [to audience] Goodbye!
        Rich: Have a nice night, everybody!
        Mike: Just check out now. Wait for the second ad break, then check out.
    • In a complete clash with what they were expecting, the buddy cop movie starring famous comedic actors they were anticipating to be good (Keaton's Cop) ends up being terrible, and the family sci-fi movie they were dreading (Space Raiders) becomes their unanimous pick for Best of the Worst.
    • Rich Evans pretending to smother himself with a pillow while watching Keaton's Cop.
    • The discussion of Keaton's Cop leads to them talking about old people fucking.
      Rich: There's probably some kind of old folks home porn out there somewhere.
      Josh: Rich, I'm gonna tell ya, I'm gonna say this on camera right now; I've had friends who have worked at old folks homes, they masturbate so much.
      Mike: ...Your friends who work at the old folks homes?
      Josh: The old folks.
      Mike: Oh. I thought you were ratting out your friends.
      Josh: Well they might, too. They might, too, I'm not judging that, I'm not judging any of it. But old people, they're just jacking and jilling all day long.
    • There's a touching moment in Space Raiders where Peter revives Han Solo-expy Hawk, except it looks tremendously wrong...
      Rich: This movie is rated very highly amongst pedophiles...
    • The episode ends in a "YEAH!" Shot... for everyone except Josh, who continues to explain why Space Raiders was a good movie, all the way until the credits.
      Mike: Space go, girl!
  • From Episode 49, Rich's explanation of Future Zone, the sequel to Future Force:
    Rich: David Carradine — who was the star of the previous installment — in the early 90's he made a follow-up where he teams up with his son and then they go on, like, cop dramas. And then when Kung Fu: The Legend Continues failed as a series, he made Future Zone.
    • The panel agrees that the reason Roger Corman is successful is because of his smooth, calm, and enunciative voice. Rich Evans immediately says "I'm doomed!"
    • Everyone agrees that Skateboard Kid 2 ranks much lower than the original on the "Woah-o-meter"
    • When Jack laughs at a joke Rich makes during Skateboard Kid 2, it cuts to George McFly laughing the exact same way.
    • The group talks about how Ted Pryor should go back in time and save Carradine from his death by auto-erotic asphyxiation, and how awkward that rescue would be.
    • When John Tucker screams, "I'M GONNA GET DRUNK!", Rich laughs louder and harder than he ever has on the show since the Jesus take from the S.O.S. video. The others suspect that the line wasn't scripted.
    • For Carnosaur 2, they continually remark on how the film ripped off Aliens, calling the child character "Nnnnnnooo-Newt", "Newt Conner", and so on with remarks like "Not-Ripley", "Not-Newt", "Not-Bill Paxton".
  • For their 50th episode, Freddie Williams returns as part of the new "Selection Series", where one person picks all three tapes. Freddie's criteria for his picks? How cool the box art looked. Mike said he was literally judging the tapes by their covers.
    • Their confused reaction to the Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping moments when the British cast of Slaughter High lose their American "High School" accents.
    • Mike makes two spot-on predictions, one of which was just a joke, while watching two of the movies. Since Rich tends to make accurate predictions, Mike says that he's Rich's padawan learner. Rich says he's using his own power to hold Mike back.
    • Rich repeats the word "unconscious" to get the pronunciation right, but unintentionally draws attention to it by repeating it. Rich's explanation just makes it more awkward.
      Mike: Don't worry, Rich. I'll edit all this out.
      Rich: You mean in, repeatedly?
    • At one point during Kill Point, they say the movie took them to such a dark place that they found themselves actively rooting for Cameron Mitchell to murder a woman and her baby for making too much noise.
  • Wheel of the Worst #14:
    • As they discuss what films are on the Wheel this time, the existence of "Casual Slipcovers" (a VHS concerning making furniture slipcovers) is noted, causing Rich and Mike to pause in awkward silence. Rich then slowly turns the Wheel to the next tape, prompting Mike to call him out for taking his time as if Mike wanted to stay on it.
    • Mike calls out Rich for mispronouncing Joy Cowley's name as Joe Cowley when reading... only for Rich to then promptly mispronounce "meet":
    • Hospital Clowning has the host make so many amateur mistakes that it adds to the pure-hearted charm of the video.
    • An educational tape called Wormania is the last thing you'd expect to have an undercurrent of sexuality. But not only does it go over how worms reproduce in highly explicit detail (such as how they're hermaphrodites, providing visual aids on the mechanics, and songs that include the word "sperm" several times), it all hits a high point when, completely unprompted, the teenage boy actor responds to the worm lady asking him to fill a balloon with water by saying "Gladly" in the most sexually provocative way he can muster. Absolutely none of the guys were able to wrap their brains around that one.
    • Mike and Josh's worm song:
      Mike: I got a worm in my [bleep] / I got a worm in my [bleep] / My worm's gonna go in the [bleep] / My worm's gonna go in the [bleep] / Rich Evans wants my worm in his [bleep] / He's always asking for my worm in his [bleep] / It gets unconformable when he asks me for, uh, these questions / It gets unconformable when he asks me these questions. [Entire table but Rich breaks down laughing.]
    • "I do not think we're gonna see a cartoon octopus smoking eight cigarattes." Cue footage from the tape of a smoking cartoon octopus. To take it even further, during the discussion, Mike somehow got it in his head that he had predicted that there would be a smoking cartoon octopus. The editor (Jay) made sure that this error was not lost on the audience.
    • Mike's incredibly excited reaction to Octopuff in Kumquat, which results in the Wheel of the Worst being knocked over and split in half, necessitating a whole new wheel to be built. Even better, Octopuff in Kumquat ends up being a total disappointment.
    • Right off the bat, Jay gives a glowing review of "A Day Full of Joy".
      Jay: [W]e're gonna talk about "A Day Full of Joy", with Joy Cowley, who I think I might hate more than anyone ever. This is an ego project, for Joy Cowley. She's a Kiwi, she's from New Zealand-
      Rich: (quietly) You racist.
      Jay: And this video is all about how amazing she is, how interesting she is, how great her children's books are, which are the worst fucking things ever...
    • None of the guys are impressed by Joy Cowley's children's books.
      [After reading "The Meanies Came To School"]
      Joy Cowley: Did you like that story?
      Jay, Rich, and Josh: Nooooooooooooo!
      Joy: Would you like to be a meanie?
      Rich and Josh: Yessssssssss!
    • When Joy is talking about her farm, she pets one of her sheep... which makes a chicken noise.
      Jay: The fuck is this?!
      • As the video progresses and Joy praddles on and on about herself, you can tell that out of everyone in the room, Jay was the most annoyed.
    • The video ends with the group once again mourning the death of the Wheel, with Josh in particular ranting about how this definitely means "Wheel of the Worst" is dead, since it's not like one of them, Rich in particular, built the Wheel and can easily either repair it again or, failing that, just outright build a new one.
      Josh: It just appeared one day, there's no way we're getting this thing back!
      • "It went out like a bitch. It just fell over. The Wheel of the Worst was done in by the American Lung Association..."
  • Len Kabasinski returns for Episode 52, and meets Jay eye-to-eye in height in the Cold Open. The camera pans down to show that Jay is standing on a box. Another easy to miss joke; the video Jay is checking out is called Aids.
  • In a first for the show, Mike, Rich, and Jay do a single-film review, and of Hollywood Cop. Although the case they show on the table is for Hollywood Homicide, the flopped 2004 Harrison Ford action movie.
    • When they mention Cameron Mitchell's Tums rant, Jay points out his favorite line of the rant, "Every day ends with a Tums festival!" Rich says that that line was in Samurai Cop, not Hollywood Cop. Jay looks at Rich like he's crazy, and Rich vehemently defends himself. Meanwhile, the edited episode clearly shows that the Tums line was in Hollywood Cop. And every time Rich tries to say he's right, the clip of the line is edited in, multiple times.
      • Mike, knowing full well that Rich is wrong, says he doesn't remember the line either, both egging Rich on and making Jay think he's going insane.
      • The credits play over Rich googling "Tums Festival", with text at the bottom pointing out how ridiculous that is.
      • Knowing how the edit humiliates Rich for being wrong, it makes sense to see "Edited by Jay Bauman" in the credits.
  • Wheel of the Worst #15 opens with Rich heavily duct-taping the Wheel in order to do the video when Jim and Colin show up. Without a moment's hesitation, they proceed to shove the Wheel over to break it... only for Rich to clarify that they're going to be using the new Wheel (of Misfortune).
    • The video features several explanations of jokes so that millenials will understand them.
      Jim: And part Mark David Chapman.
      A little help... for millenials: Mark David Chapman shot and killed John Lennon in December of 1980. John Lennon was one of The Beatles. The Beatles were a very popular band. Their influence in music can still be heard today!
    • Jim and Colin spin the wheel together, but try to spin it in opposite directions, causing Rich to laugh. This then leads to an explanation to millenials about what clockwise means, and what a clock is.
      • Several commenters noted how appropriate it was that the inaugural spin of the new Wheel was a complete failure.
    • Golden Road, about why old people shouldn't drive. It begins with a woman recounting a story of her mother getting into the car and plowing into the building in front of her. Mike demands they do a dramatic reenactment.
    • Their discovery that automotive engineers have specially designed suits that simulate being an old person driving a car.
    • Hangin' with Leo advertises on the box that it has footage of Leonardo Dicaprio at the beach. It's just one shot, filmed through a hole by the stalker. And they even point out in the video that Leo has a bit of a gut.
    • The segue into the last tape, Telepathic Communication with Animals.
      Jim: Penelope Smith is a telepathic communicator with animals.
      Rich: (laughs)
      Jim: Of all kinds...she, uh, she helps people communicate, um... with horses, ducks...
      Rich: (laughs)
    • Rich bluntly asks Mike if he believes in telepathic animal communication since he also believes in ghosts.
      Rich: Okay, Mike? You believe in ghosts. Do you also believe in this crazy thing?
      Colin: (laughs)
      Mike: I find the paranormal fascinating. That doesn't mean I believe in ghosts. No! This video is crackpot central.
    • Rich mentions efforts by Josef Stalin to create an ape-man hybrid super soldier.
      Rich: That's why Stalin had to counter that with his hybrid ape-human program.
      Colin: What, was that real!?
      Rich: That's a real thing.
      Colin: Whaaaat!?
      Rich: Supposedly... it's a real thing I heard, I don't know if it's actually true, but I have heard that Stalin tried... to... force—
      (Mike covers his mouth in order to prevent a Spit Take; it doesn't work; everyone laughs)
    • Rich's idea to prove Penelope Smith is a fraud; Have her do a psychic reading on Koko, the famous gorilla who knows sign language, and then have Koko explain that Penelope is wrong.
    • When talking about Penelope acting as a polygraph test for dogs, Mike comes out with this.
      Mike: Pollywannacrackergraph?...A test for a parrot?
      Rich: (laughs)
      Mike: "Do you not want a cracker?" (screech)
      Rich: Mike, that is so dumb it's funny! (laughs)
      Mike: "You're lying, you do want a cracker!" (screech)
    • When discussing how they should destroy Hangin' With Leo, Rich just takes the tape and starts smashing it against the edge of the table. After doing significant damage, he removes the cover.
      Rich: Thunder Cats? This is the wrong tape!
  • In Best of the Worst: The Sweeper, Empire of the Dark, and Mad Foxes, the guys have a strange fascination with baseball jokes, instituting a counter for how many pop up. The final count is 5... unfortunately, they counted 4 twice, so it should be 6.note 
    • Rich is unenthusiastic at the prospect of yet another new series.
      Josh: This is the Remote Selection series, where we watch movies that someone picked who's not even here.
      Rich: ...W-we need a new series for that? Can't we just watch the movies? As if it were a normal episode? Why does everything have to be a fucking gimmick?! We can't just a normal fucking episode?! Wheel, Plinketto, Selection, Premium ser- just read the fucking box like it's a normal goddamn episode!
      Jack: Fine, read it, fine, fine.
      Rich: [calmly] ...The Sweeper.
    • The crew compares The Sweeper's car chase across a boardwalk to the mall sequence in The Blues Brothers, and briefly dubbing the Brothers' theme song into the former as bystanders bounce off the bad guy's windshield and fall into the ocean.
    • Mike describes the main character in Empire of the Dark as "a tax accountant by day, and a badass ninja fighter by day-for-night". He quickly declares it "Joke of the Show".
    • The guys come up with a theory that there is a psychological need for pathetic, schlubby men who decide to star in self-funded action movies purely to stroke their own ego to wear black tank tops in said movies. They cite as evidence, not only the movie they're discussing, Empire of the Dark, but also Geteven and legend of Best of the Worst cinema Double Down. note 
    • Their amazed reaction to Joe Pilato of Day of the Dead (1985) with his hair sprayed gray and a stilted old man walk playing a meek old professor in Empire of the Dark.
      • They are even further amazed to see him saving the protagonist in the climax by somehow finding his way to hell with a shotgun, only to get ripped in half by the demon. After their collective Big "WHAT?!", Rich in particular is so shocked that his voice goes up more than a few octaves.
        Everyone: WHAT!?
        Jay: Not Joe Pilato!
        Rich: JOE PILATO!? HOW IS HE HERE NOW!?...WHAT!?
        Jay: What a twist!
        Mike: 'Cause they—they killed his daughter, remember?
        Jay: Sure, but—
    • Rich reading the back of the Mad Foxes box, largely because the box is written entirely in German. Given the number of replays poking fun at Rich's flubbed lines normally, some people joked that Rich is actually more fluent in German than he is in English.
    • Their discussion of Mad Foxes and how it manages to mix together a Random Events Plot with copious amounts of Fetish Retardant, including two characters having sex in what they call a "piss tub" and a scene of them making love outside as the camera zooms in on the man's unwashed anus.
      Jay: Well, while they were riding on the horses, that's when I was worried that we were gonna get some sort of weird bestiality scene.
      Rich: (in Spanish accent) "I have idea for great scene! Woman get licked out by horse!"
      (Jay breaks down laughing.)
    • Rich's perfectly timed and delivered Precision F-Strike during the transition to the Mad Foxes discussion.
    • The Running Gag of Rich chowing down on an ever increasing number of Tums, both as a reference to his now infamous "Tums festival" incident during the Hollywood Cop episode and his version of I Need a Freaking Drink. It very quickly leads into a discussion about using greasy, spicy food to counter the side effects of eating too many Tums and Rich being cloned to fight Xenomorphs.
  • The second spotlight episode features The Last Vampire on Earth by Vitaliy Versace, a shameless knock-off of Twilight, but with a few... surprises.
    Mike: Well, um, let's get to the elephant in the room, and that's AIDS.
    • The set-up for the video: Mike has set up a collection of Colin's favorite bad films, and he gets to pick the topic of the video. Cut to a shelf filled with "Nukie" VHSes... from which Colin pulls out "The Last Vampire on Earth" upon closing his eyes to pick randomly.
    • They theorize that the director, Vitaly Versace, is actually a Sacha Baron Cohen invention.
    • They compare the movie's lead actor to Shrek, and how he's still treated as if he was as handsome and mysterious as Robert Pattinson.
      Jay: But the movie treats it as if he's the Robert Pattinson. That's the weirdest kind of juxtaposition. They treat him like he's brooding, sexy vampire man.
      Colin: No he's not. He looks like a serial killer.
      Mike: Yeah, they cast this guy. And I could see wh— There's two things, like, he's really handsome and looks like Robert Pattinson, but can't act, or he can act really well and looks like Shrek. But this guy has the worst of both qualities. And it's amazing.
      Jay: It feels almost like this movie was made as a practical joke on that lead actor. Like just to embarrass him.
      Rich: (Laughs as his face turns red)
    • The movie included interviews with the director and actors. The only nice thing Vitaliy Versace can say about Not-Robert-Pattinson is that he showed up on time.note  There's also a part where he asks Not-Kristen-Stewart what her favorite scene was, which is followed by a long, awkward pause.
    • Mike brings up the he, Rich and Jay created a cartoon character named Sergio many years ago, who was a Funny Foreigner who wants to move to America to become a film director, but is Giftedly Bad. He points out that Vitaliy Versace embodies that character. Later, Rich accuses Mike of actually creating Versace just to troll RedLetterMedia. Mike just chuckles.
    • In order to fully rip off Twilight, the people behind the movie went out of their way to write and publish a book version of the movie before making the movie, just so they could say that the movie was based on a book like Twilight is. The book is 99 pages long, with large-print font and "illustrations" that are either stock images ripped off Google or pictures of the actors. And then they discover that the Versace Entertainment logo is on the back, but the T is cut off.
      Colin: "Versace Entertainment".
      Jay: But the T is cut off! Everything is wrong!
      Colin: Oh yeah, that's right!
      Rich: The T is cut off!?
      Colin: Yeah, look at this, "Versace Entertainmen".
      Rich: (laughs with silly music)
    • Not-Kristen-Stewart's family is shown eating a wholesome dinner after church, but the director clearly just bought some KFC and tried to pass if off as if they made it.
    • They ponder why a 3000-year-old vampire is going to community college.
      Rich: Look, he's gonna fucking ace the Dracula course, alright? It's a fucking easy A for a vampire.
      Colin: Every time you say "A" I thought you were gonna—
    • Not-Kristen-Stewart's little brother discovers that Not-Robert-Pattinson is a vampire when he overhears them talking. When he goes to tell his mom, she just tells him that they're rehearsing for the Dracula play at school. When he says that he heard Not-Robert-Pattinson saying food makes him sick, she suddenly believes him.
      Rich: (laughs) Well that's the final piece to the puzzle! Obviously my daughter's friend is a vampire!
      Colin: There's no way KFC can be making you sick.
    • When Not-Kristen-Stewart pulls a gun on the angry mob to try and save Not-Robert-Pattinson, a gun that she found just lying around in a cabinet full of food, the crew notices that the actress doesn't even have her finger on the trigger.
    • Jay compares Not-Kristen-Stewart's brother to a Garbage Pail Kid. Rich corrects him and calls him a Cabbage Patch Kid.
    • They point out that Not-Robert-Pattinson is shown to have super speed, which he uses to play ping pong by himself, and despite this, he ends up being captured by "a fried chicken lady and her fat son."
  • Plinketto #4: Rich Evans is Unimpressed
    • Jack's Bait-and-Switch Comparison for Little Bigfoot.
      Jay: Little Bigfoot, starring a hideous monster.
      Jack: And someone in a Bigfoot costume.
      Jay: (laughs)
    • Jay notices Gerald Okamura from Samurai Cop as a chef in Little Bigfoot.
      Jay: Why would you cast him in a movie where he's not doing, like, karate stuff?
      Rich: You fucking racist.
      Jack: (laughs)
      Mike: Oh my god! Yeah, Jay! Only Asian people can—
      Jay: I'm talking about all of his other other films.
      Mike: When Rich is calling you a racist, that's a problem!
    • Mike predicts that the Big Bad of Little Bigfoot is going to be an "old, bald, white corporate guy from a company that wants to deforest the area that Little Bigfoot lives with his family for corporate profit." He's 100% right.
    • They misname the protagonist of Turbulence 3, Slade Kraven, as Slade Wilson, Kraven the Hunter, and Sammy Hagar.
    • After finding out that a satanist terrorist hijacked a plane where a Death Metal concert is playing so that he can fly it over Eastern Kansas, which is apparently the seventh circle of Hell, they marvel at how Turbulence 3 keeps getting dumber.
      Woman: A church in Kansas is the seventh gateway to hell?
      Hacker: "Even the Pope, in his visit to Colorado in 1996, would not fly over Eastern Kansas."
      Rich and Jay: (laughs)
      Mike: They're gonna fly into the gateway to hell!
      Jay: This really does just keep getting dumber!
      Woman: This is getting weirder.
      Rich and Jay: (laughs)
      Jack: Thank you!
      Mike: I was just gonna say it's getting weirder. Not dumber.
    • They say that the dumbest thing that could possibly happen in the movie is if the hacker character hacks into the plane in order to land it...and that's precisely what happens, prompting them all to freak out.
      Mike: What's the dumbest thing that could happen?
      Rich: The hacker actually takes control of the plane.
      Jay: Yeah, that would be the dumbest if he literally hacks the plane.
      Woman: Who's gonna land the plane?
      Hacker: (Exhales, and looks over at a joystick controller)
      Mike: The dumbest thing happened!
      Hacker: Well it's simple, some kids grew up playing Nintendo, for me it was flight simulators.
      Mike: Fuck you!
      • Jack is so amazed by the above scene that he gets up and does a victory lap through another room, screaming the whole time.
    • There's a shot where Little Bigfoot looks like he's having A Date with Rosie Palms because he keeps thrusting forward, with an odd expression on his face, with his hands below frame, and making weird noises. They like to think that's what was really happening, since Little Bigfoot is obviously being played by a dwarf actor who's just in it for the paycheck.
    • There's a scene where the boy suddenly begins yelling at Little Bigfoot about how much he hates him and never wants to see him again, which plays out like the type of scene where he's only pretending to hate him to drive him off because he's in danger if he stays with them and they're too attached to each other for it to leave on its own. The problem is, he and Little Bigfoot had only met each other very shortly before this scene with no indication they had any attachment to each other to break, so it comes out of nowhere and comes off like he really does hate him.
      Mike: (Discussing the movie's lack of emotional resonance) They need the scene where Mom says, "I'm going into town", they let Little Bigfoot into the house...
      Jay: They bond...
      Jack: He does wacky things.
      Mike: "This is TV, Little Bigfoot!" "Ooooh, TV!" And then they have bonding moments — "let me show you my baseball cards!", "let's play baseball in the backyard!" And Mom's comin' home, let's hide Little Bigfoot! (Imitates light-hearted "wacky" music) Y'know? None of that shit happens. (Barely holding it together) Little Bigfoot... is a lecherous wild animal. It's a midget in a costume that just wants — wants to masturbate.
    • The scene where Little Bigfoot's injured parent rests on a log, only for the log to break, causing the entire crew to roar with laughter.
    • The movie has a character who is an environmentalist veterinarian, and Little Bigfoot's parent is injured. The two never meet, and the movie ends with the parent Bigfoot going through an Unexplained Recovery. Mike theorizes that this is because the actress playing the veterinarian quit due to sexual harassment from one of the loggers, which he thinks felt out of place in the movie and might have been real, so the scene where she helps Bigfoot was never filmed.
      Rich: It's like blue balls! It's Little Bigfoot Blue Balls!
  • The Best of the Worst 2017 Halloween Special featured Mike and Jack competing for being the most drunk.
    • Mike's attempt to riff on the synopsis of Vampire Assassin falls flat because he wasn't paying attention:
      Jack: "Seeking out the help of one of the last vampire hunters, Master Cao, Washington begins his training, determined to hunt the ultimate killer."
      Mike: Have they said anything about vampires yet?
      Jack: Yeah.
      Mike: Oh...
      [offscreen, Rich cracks up laughing]
    • Jay says that the name of the director for Hack-o-Lantern sounds like the name of a disease.
      Jay: I have to take pills to keep my Jag Mundhra under control.
      Rich: Did you catch that from Harvey Weinstein, too?
    • When Rich reads the description for Hack-o-Lantern, he turns nearly every sentence into a Double Entendre.
      Rich: "When Tommy was a boy, he saw his grandpa (Hy Pyke), the leader of a satanic cult, murder his father on Halloween night. Now Tommy (Gregory Scott Cummings)"—hashtag Harvey Weinstein—"is eighteen..."
      Jay: I'm not convinced that any of these are real people.
      Rich: "...and his grandpa is ready to indoctrinate him in the ways of the black arts."—hashtag Harvey Weinstein—"But as night approaches, someone dressed like a member of the cult, whose face is hidden behind a devil mask,"—hashtag Harvey Weinstein—"begins stalking and killing people connected to Tommy. Could it be grandpa, Tommy himself, or someone even more sinister"—hashtag Harvey Weinstein—"behind these increasingly brutal murders?"[...]"Massacre Video brings us this distinctly sleazy"—hashtag Harvey Weinstein—"80s classic in a brand new restoration from its original 35mm camera negative, and featuring revealing interviews with its producers and stars."
      Jay: What're they gonna reveal? Information about Harvey Weinstein?
      Rich: That's too much. That's one too many, hashtag Harvey Weinstein.
    • As Rich reads the above description, the camera starts shaking and there's muffled snickering, indicating that even the person manning the camera can barely keep it together.
    • Cathy's Curse features a shot of Cathy's face with a spotlight over her eyes to look scary. But Rich immediately says "Whoa, it's Captain Kirk!"
    • During the discussion, Jay calls Vampire Assassin "Dull Blade", and everyone on the panel congratulates Jay for such an amazing joke that he absolutely didn't steal from Rich when he made it while they were watching the movie.
    • When talking about Vampire Assassin, Jack nicknames the reporter character (and love interest) "Siri" because of how she speaks in a Machine Monotone. They then edit in the actual Siri reading the character's lines to compare.
      • The real kicker? Siri is the better actress of the two.
    • Most of the shots of Gerald Okamura in Vampire Assassin are from the waist up, so Mike jokes that he's still wearing his speedo from Samurai Cop.
    • Mike points out that the hero's swords have handles made from hollow copper tubing, and at one point the handles clearly broke off, forcing him to grip them in an awkward, unnatural way.
      Rich: His fingers are on top- His fingers are next to the blade! On top of the guard!
      Jack: He's holding the guard down because it's not glued on properly.
    • Rudy Ray Moore also makes a cameo in Vampire Assassin. Based on the set he is in, they assume his character was a kind of computer repairman.
      Jay: (cracks up laughing) Can you imagine going into Best Buy, going up to the Geek Squad counter, and Rudy Ray Moore is there? "What's wrong with your computer?"
      Mike: "Oh, I got some virus on my computer."
      Josh (as Dolemite): "Virus?!"
      Jack (also as Dolemite): "What has your computer had?!"[...]I would love that tech support. I would pay extra for that.
      Jay: We were talking about Siri, I wish there was a Rudy Ray Moore option for Siri.
      Jack: "Motherfucker, turn right!"
    • Hack-o-Lantern seems to send Rich to his "Happy Place".
      Jay: [after a weird death scene] That was odd.
      Rich: It's all fine... Everything's fine...
      Jack: ...Is it?
      Mike: Have you cracked, Rich?
      Jack: Rich is done.
    • The repeated use of "Your mother's a bitch!" throughout the discussion of Cathy's Curse.
      • Minutes later in the same movie, the car the man who said the line is driving crashes because of a bunny in the road. Two guys in the group both say "That bunny was a bitch!"
    • Jack breaks off from the discussion of Cathy's Curse to ask Rich to bring him another beer, and the others take the opportunity to top up their own drinks. Cue an extended Drunken Montage as they fool around with their bottles and completely forget about the film.
      Jack: Now, I have a serious question... What were we talking about?
    • A drunken Mike and Jack have an argument about whether or not the possession in Cathy's Curse can be considered "demonic" like it says on the box, with Mike repeatedly shouting "There ain't no demon in this film!" at Jack.
      Mike: (points to Jack) That bitch, right there, said "demonic"!
      Jack: A little girl can be a demon, yo!
    • Mike picks Vampire Assassin as his Best of the Worst, which draws the ire of everyone else at the panel.
      Jay: I cannot fucking believe you.
      Mike: Vampire Assassin had some great moments in it.
      Jack: What!?
      Mike: Great fight scenes.
      Jack: What the fuck are you talking about!?
      Jay: NO! NO!
      Mike: I love—!
      Jack: What are you talking about!?
      Mike: Listen, I grew up on Len Kabasinski films.
      (Josh, Jay and Jack all burst into laughter)
      Mike: I enjoy a good bad kung-fu B-movie and—
      (30 Minutes Earlier)
      Mike: What a giant... giant... pile of shit.
    • When the panel decides to destroy Vampire Assassin, Mike tries to defend it using the same tactic that Jay used to prevent Feeders from being destroyed in the last episode; Trying to paint it as a movie with historical significance. It doesn't work.
      Mike: But Jay, can I say one thing? This film... comes from a period of time—
      Jay: (laughs)
      Mike: —in the late 90's. When the little guy—
      Jay: This film is not a pioneer of anything!
      Mike: When the little guy could make a ripoff of Blade with his own video camera.
      Jay and Jack: (laughs)
      Josh: Are you saying the little guy couldn't make a ripoff of Blade right now?
    • Mike allows them to destroy Vampire Assassin because they have two copies of it, so even if they destroy it, he'll still have one. Smash Cut to Jay saying they're going to destroy both copies of Vampire Assassin. Then, after they destroy it in a Satanic fire ritual, it cuts back to Mike, now sitting alone, as he asks the audience to send more copies of Vampire Assassin.
  • Suburban Sasquatch is so bad that it had them speculating that it was put together by high school students, since a high school is used as a backdrop in some scenes, but to their surprise, it was put together by an adult man who was completely serious in making it.
    • Jay compares the director's behind-the-scenes videos to the confession tape a serial killer would make.
      Jack: Just off-camera is a lamp made from a face.
      Mike: He just set up the camera, the top his head's cut off and he's like "I wanna talk about why I did what I did".
    • Throughout the whole review, Rich mocks the director's intent for the movie to have some kind of deep Man vs. Nature theme to it.
      Rich: This Sasquatch is a force of nature, and mankind, the suburbs, are now encroaching upon nature.
      Mike: That's a big theme, it's man's overdevelopment, destruction of nature.
      Rich: And then our Native American, who represents nature, has to fight nature, to stop nature from fighting the suburbs...wait...
    • There are so many things to talk about in the movie, that the video is split into chapters. It has so many that Mike loses count and the caption has to say "Chapter 5 or 7 or Whatever" near the end.
    • The panel points out how the first five minutes of the movie is very telling of how the rest of the movie is going to go. Since him, Jay, and Rich have made movies for years, Mike compares it to their own movies, where their most basic setups were better than Suburban Sasquatch.
      Mike: Do you remember when we filmed The Recovered, Jay?
      Jay: Oh, yeah. I built a little rig.
      Mike: Jay took two pieces of wood, and made a V shape, we drilled the camera to it, and braced it to the window. Done.
      Jay: It's completely smooth. It's the best part of the movie.
      Mike: But so his idea is "Drive at one mile an hour and I'll walk along the car, and somehow that will simulate driving".
    • Instead of buying cop uniforms from a Halloween store, they put some brown tape on the shoulders and chest pockets of tan shirts, got some black cop hats that don't match the rest of their "uniforms", and since they don't have holsters, the cops just carry their guns in hand all the time and hang their handcuffs from the belt loops of their pants. Mike once again makes a Call-Back, this time to their most recent film, Space Cop
      Mike: I don't want to talk about our movies, I will again though, because...our movies are terrible. When it came time to have cops in Space Cop, we went online, ordered some police shirts, got a belt at the army surplus store, found Milwaukee Police badges through eBay, just basic steps that are common sense. Like how could you screw up police costumes so badly unless it was intentional? Like here is a picture of what a cop looks like (shows Eric Estrada from C Hi Ps). Even those little radios that cops talk into, you could buy those!
      Rich: No, you just turn around and talk to your fax machine.
    • Mike pictures what the director/writer thought the scenes would look like while he was writing them, with how it was probably written in the script, and then cutting to how they actually ended up looking.
    • Jack's Punny Name for the Native American woman, based on the fact that she's played by a Mexican; El Pollohontas.
      • His ending joke, "After honing his craft, I think he might get an Ooscar" earns him Joke of the Show.
    • The song they use for the episode's end credits is the song the movie uses, and it's so ridiculous that they have to include a disclaimer that it is the song used in Suburban Sasquatch.
  • Wheel of the Worst #16
    • Mike and Josh explain each film on the Wheel and come to a returned "How to Make Friends."
      Josh: Pay attention, internet.
      Mike: Pay attention, video gamers.
    • Mike reads the title of High Impact: Forklift Safety as Fucklift Safely.
    • Mike makes fun of Rich's Pac-Man shirt.
      Rich: This Pac-Man shirt is fucking awesome and you can't handle it.
      Mike: Let me just say this; If I had that shirt, I would be so ashamed. Now, why don't you tell me all about manners, and who needs 'em!?
      Rich: I would say that you need manners, Mike.
    • Manners: Who Needs Them? features one of the most awkward raps ever put on film, and considering the era of the video, that's saying a lot. A pasty white man dressed as George Washington in a pair of Cool Shades, rapping about table manners and plate setting.
      George Washington: Check it out, this is how the table's set. Knife's on the right, fork's on the left—
      Jay: How embarrassing.
      George Washington: Plate's in the middle, and the glass is to the right. Utensils are used from outside in, remember this—
      Rich: Can we find and embarrass this man?
      George Washington: Don't slurp your soup, don't reach and grab, when you butter your bread just take a little dab—
      Rich: I know what song is ending this video!
    • They talk about Rich arriving at the funeral of the guy who played George Washington and completely ruining the ceremony. Which starts off with Mike insulting Rich's Pac-Man shirt again.
      Mike: He was probably twenty when he did this video. And now he's forty five with a job, a wife and children in high school. No one knows he did it. Now some slobs from Milwaukee know about it. Well now he's dead, his wife and two daughters are grieving at his funeral and you're there in your Pac-Man shirt.
      Mike: Hopefully it's an open casket so you can throw some MC Hammer plates on it. On his corpse.
      Jay: Some styrofoam silverware? Comically oversized styrofoam forks?
      Mike: Yup, and then just say "This is your husband's legacy. This is your husband's, and your father's" as you look to his children. "This is his legacy. It's an embarrassing rap video, now part of Best of the Worst Episode 128." Or whatever episode. And then as they're lowering the casket into the Earth, you take a giant dump on it! While wearing your Pac-Man shirt, but no pants. And then you say to his daughters...
      Jay: "Manners; Who needs them!?"
    • Top Slots- Spotting the Best consists entirely of an extremely hyperactive man named Jimmy "The Scot" Jordon reading aloud whatever information is written on the fronts of slot machines. He has no actual insider information on what slot machines put out the most jackpots, as demonstrated by the fact that he never wins a single time, and by the end of the video, he's clearly out of money.
      Jimmy: Now I'm not here to fool you on these machines, I'm gonna play 'em, and I'm gonna play 'em once, and I'm not gonna play 'em again and again and again. It might take too long to become a winner, and production costs are exorbitant, so I'm trying to keep the cost of this tape down, you're buying this tape for the instructional value only, not for its production—
      Rich: What!? What!?
      Mike: He said he's out of money! I was just joking about that!
      Rich: Just play some more slots, Jimmy!
      Josh: He said that the production costs are enormous! ENORMOUS!
      Jay: So he's just gonna talk about them now!
      Mike: Because he's run out of money! The master at beating the slot machines...has run out of money!
      Josh: And he's going to continue this informational tape! God bless him, against all odds, he's gonna finish this goddamn tape!
    • Top Slots — Spotting the Best's opening scene is not very promising. No one is into Jimmy's annoying habit of pointing out everything on the slot machine to read. He then gives it a spin and turns the humor on.
      Jimmy: CHERRY!
      Rich: (bursts into laughter)
    • Surviving Edged Weapons has been declared the single greatest tape ever showcased on Best of the Worst. It is filled to the brim with insane dramatic reenactments of police attacks with knives and other sharp weapons, is actually informative, and to the delight of the entire panel, was filmed in Milwaukee, with nearly everyone having comically over-the-top Wisconsin accents.
    • Among the dramatic reenactments include a stabbing in caveman times, a man getting stabbed by a medieval sword while trying to arrest a man at his house, a cocaine deal going on in a bar, a cop getting a meat cleaver to the head, a cop getting shot at by a man with a crossbow, a biker stabbing a cop with a knife hidden in his gas cap, a machete wielding maniac charging at a cop in her car, a psych ward patient using the glass of a broken window to cut off his own finger and throw it at a cop as a distraction, and a SATANIC RITUAL.
      Rich: And that was when you thought the video couldn't get any crazier. You thought we had reached maximum crazy with the cocaine deal scene.
      Josh: No.
      Jay: And then Satan. Satanism.
    • The video contains several reenacted dick stabbings, and then autopsy photos of an actual dick stabbing. Jay asks Rich if he looked, which he did, saying he had to. Jay says that he didn't look. Cut to video of Jay clearly looking at it.
    • Mike ends the video pretty drunk and spaced out.
      Jay: Should we start a Best of the Worst Hall of Fame? Should this be the first entry in the Best of the Worst Hall of Fame?
      Rich: Uh, yes. Yes. Surviving Edged Weapons and Cameron Mitchell portrait.
      Mike: Yeah, it goes— it goes in the Hall of Best of— Uh, it goes in the Hall of...What did you say?
      Jay: Hall of Fame!
      Mike: Oh. It goes in the Hall of Fame! As one of the Best of the Worst Hall of Fame inductees.
      Jay: The first entry.
      Mike: It's the first inductee in the Best of the Worst Wheel of the Worst Hall of Fame. Rich, what is your pick for Best of the Worst?
      Rich: W-we just did that. I already picked Surviving Edged Weapons.
  • Merry Kick-mas begins with Rich standing with a Thousand-Yard Stare holding a giant candy cane. He then attempts to choke himself to death with the candy cane. All while a jolly instrumental version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raindeer" plays in the background.
    • There is a very noticeable pause after Jay explains the two types of films they will be picking this year.
      Jay: [I]t's either Christmas movies, or movies that have someone kicking on the cover. (awkward pause)
      (cut to Rich looking astounded as the music cuts out)
      (cut to Rich)
      Rich: ...okay.
    • After watching Karate Cop, featuring David Carradine...
      Mike: Boy oh boy, that movie sure was a hoot. It's a shame about all those autoerotic asphyxiation jokes, though. I really think we did them in excess.
      (The opening riff of "Need You Tonight" plays)
      Rich: If you got that joke, please comment on this video.
    • Jack opening his gift with a knife, making Mike extremely nervous and giving him flashbacks to ''Surviving Edged Weapons''.
    • Rich's inability to say "breasts".
      Jack: This feels like it was created from an algorithm of awesome stuff, like "Cops are cool, karate's awesome, Karate Cop."
      Jay: Post-apocalypse, uh, Indiana Jones.
      Rich: Breast.
      Jay: (Laughs) Just one?
      Rich: Huge, bouncing breast.
      Mike: Why are you saying it singular?
      Rich: Breasts! I'm saying it plural!
    • They continue to make jokes about David Carradine's death.
      Jay: He's the worst actor, Ron Marchini, which is exemplified the most in the one scene with David Carradine, who we all remember from- from dying...while masturbating.
      Mike: He did some other things in life, but mainly we remember him for choking himself to death while jerking off. That's what he'll be known for. He did some film work.
      Jay: Forever and always.
      Rich: Wait, wait, David Carradine died via autoerotic asphyxiation? Wow, that's horribly embarrassing. Like, if that happened, that'd be the only thing people would remember about you.
      Jay: I know, you'll never live it down...
      Rich: Well he certainly won't live it down, because he died via autoerotic asphyxiation.
    • Rich pointing out that he's the only one they make fun of whenever he flubs a word, and everyone else gets to redo it.
      Jay: Well the point is that subversing your expectations, in and of itself-
      Mike: Subverting.
      Jay: The point is that subverting your expectations, in and of itself-
      Rich: So when he does it, he gets to take it again, when I do it, it's "Fuck you."
      Mike: I corrected Jack, too. I just don't correct you, cause then we use it in the video.
      • Then Mike flubs a line.
      Jay: Wildly inconsistent.
      Mike: Wildly incons- inconsin- sin- consistent.
      Jay: In The Simpsons? What? Wildly The Simpsons.
      Rich: Do you wanna take that again?
      • Then finally, Rich's point is proven right when he flubs a line.
      Jack: But he's doing the fancy nunchuk stuff, but then the nunchucks are actually gunchucks.
      Rich: Gun Chunks (TM), RedLetterMedia.
      Jay: (Laughing) Gun Chunks?
      Mike: He said chunks.
      Jack: Little pieces of guns. (Everyone laughs) Tossed in a stew.
      Rich: Fuck my life.
      Mike: You know what? Rich needs a t-shirt that says "That's stayin' in!"
    • Their suggestion that Carel Struycken, who is 7 feet tall, was actually one of the Munchkins in The Wizard of Oz, they just filmed him with a special lens to make him seem smaller.
    • The Bad-Guy Bar in Night of the Kickfighters was clearly just the only bar they could get permission to film in. As they point out, it's actually a very nice looking bar, and their only attempt to make the place look seedy was to put a stripper way in the background, dancing in front of a red curtain on a stage no bigger than their table.
    • Their assumption that Night of the Kickfighters ended just because they ran out of film. The woman whose accent keeps changing rides off in a speedboat, only for it to be blown up by a Star Wars explosion. Not even a second into the explosion, the shot fades to a wedding. The main protagonist is not in attendance because he's mourning the loss of the team's hacker woman, who he has had no interaction with in the entire movie. Then it just ends.
    • They pick Karate Cop as the worst, and prepare to destroy it by kicking really high. Cue a Smash Cut to the "Emergency Groin Surgery" wing of the hospital.
     2018 Episodes 
  • Plinketto #5 gets this:
    • One gets the idea that Rich was running late for filming, since the episode starts with Mike nonchalantly saying he died, only for him to show up during the "Deathstalker II" viewing, claiming it was faked for insurance reasons.
    • One of the films on the board that they don't watch is A Gnome Named Gnorm. Mike then pulls out the French version of the movie, where the title has been changed to Space Cop.
    • Mike makes several jokes about the various Hollywood sex scandals.
      Mike: I haven't even seen the first [Deathstalker], I dunno why II is here, what the fuck!?
      Jack: I'll do a quick recap if we land on it.
      Mike: Okay.
      Jack: Everyone gets raped.
      Mike:'s a film about Hollywood?
      (Victorious music plays)
      Jack: Next is Metalbeast: DNA Overload! Oh, I'm sorry, Project Metalbeast DNA Overload!
      Mike: Wait, DNA Overload, isn't that the Louis C.K. story?
      Jack: Hey-yo!
      Mike: Oh yeah, what's Metalbeast: DNA Overload about? Probably a monster, right?
      Jack: Probably.
      Mike: So a film about Harvey Weinstein.
      Jack: Hey-yo! The hits! Keep! On! Comin'! Take that, Hollywood elite!
    • Mike's joke about the movie Vibrations Crosses the Line Twice.
      Mike: The next film is called Vibrations. Starring Michael J. Fox.
      Jack: Awwwwww...
      Mike: No, cause he's in the film! Cause he's listed on the box.
      Jack: I don't- I don't see that.
      Mike: Oh, wait, sorry, it says "James Marshall". I don't have my glasses on. I wasn't making a joke about a deadly disease. What do you think I'm some kind of fuckin' asshole?
    • Jack finally getting to drop the ball, and it lands on Princess Warrior. Cue everyone else on set getting pissed, Jay flat out saying it was the worst film on the board.
      Mike: (offscreen) You're supposed to land on something else, not that!
    • When Mike reads the box for Nail Gun Massacre, the description brags about Gratuitous Rape content, causing Mike to mutter, "Oh, for fuck's sake!" disgustedly.
    • When Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans is selected, all they can remember from the previous film was the whimsical Gratuitous Rape. Mike even says outright he never saw the first movie, only to cut to the first movie's viewing showing Mike was there.
    • When watching Princess Warrior, they come across a scene where they're in some kind of futuristic alien teleportation tube, which only work if they're naked. The sudden cut to them naked in the tube almost causes Mike to do a Spit Take.
    • One of the central focuses of Princess Warrior ends up being a wet t-shirt contest that, when they time it, somehow takes up 37 minutes of the movie's runtime. This despite the fact that the fanservice a wet t-shirt contest is normally held for doesn't even work because none of the women's shirts get wet enough to be seen through anyway.
  • Best of the Worst: Black Spine Edition and Spotlight Episode on Partners (2009).
    • Jack's pull from the shelf? Something called "Blackstreet Boys"... which causes Rich to loudly state "I'M DONE.", hand the camera to Mike, and leave.
    • Rich's pull is a customerization seminar by Don Beveridge, which causes Rich to break down, put his head into his arm, and begin pleading to the audience.
      Rich: We almost watched "Cryptz" today! We could've been watching "Cryptz" right now!
    • Everything about Don Beveridge, a Motor Mouth business speaker, who gives a "Customerization Seminar", and a very disjointed and unfocused one at that.
      Don Beveridge: You CANNOT sustain a competitive advantage in product or price, and the businesses that fail, and the people that fail-
      Rich: Is like a doctor gonna walk in front of the screen and start talking about the symptoms of some kind of cognitive disorder? "These are the signs."
      Don Beveridge: -some new benefit and some new bagel and some new ice cream-
      Mike: Don Beveridge's Disease?
      Rich: (Laughs)
      Jay: I wonder if this is like a social experiment where they get these people in to watch this seminar, and then they just have this guy rant about nonsense to see how long it takes them to figure it out.
      Jack: But for the past 30 years no one has figured it out that they're faking his advice, so they're just making notes still.
      Mike: And he's somehow become the world's leading business expert.
      • A large amount of the seminar seems to consist of him yelling about food items like bagels, donuts, and ice cream.
      Don Beveridge: Rule #1: How. Does the customer. See. You? And my friend, if the answer is ICE CREAM-!note 
      • He goes on a tangent about Superman stopping a bank robbery (after somebody calls Clark Kent to get a hold of him) and his main point was apparently that Superman creates lazy cops.note 
      • Since his seminar is at the Showboat Hotel in Atlantic City, New Jersey, there's an unintentional Visual Pun of a crazed Motor Mouth talking about nonsense with the word "SHOWBOAT" in the background.
      • "And by the way, I'll never forget J- Uhhhhhhhhh, Manny Garcia!"
    • The ending to their screening of The Plymouth International Ice Spectacular.
      Announcer: As the Ice Spectacular continues to grow, it attracts nationally and internationally renowned ice sculptors. You can be a part of what has become an international event. We are now, officially, the Plymouth International Ice Spectacular. (triumphant closing music sting)
      Mike: (Looking at his phone) It says it was cancelled a year later.
      Jay: (Laughs)
    • After trying to introduce The Plymouth International Ice Spectacular, Mike decides to throw all three black spine VHS tapes away and dedicate the rest of the video to Partners (2009).
      • Rich attempts to explain the plot of the movie after Jay couldn't due it being a combination of a Kudzu Plot and a Random Events Plot. After five minutes of trying to explain a Gambit Roulette that happened, Mike stops him and says that they shouldn't even bother.
      • At one point, during a discussion of a scene, Jack interjects to stop them from leaving the scene just yet. Mike has to remind him that the scene they are talking about is the first scene of the movie.
        Jack: But- actually, before you go too far in this...
        (Rich breaks)
      • "[T]hey go to the 'police station', aka. 'my dentist's office'."
      • The drive-by shooting toward the beginning. The two cops exit the "bar" (which is clearly just somebody's house) onto the porch to talk to the lounge singer whose boyfriend's murder they're investigating. Before the door is even shut one of the cops pulls out his gun and starts shooting at the street before the audience ever sees the car shooting at them. Once the car drives off, all three of them just brush themselves off and carry on the conversation as if the drive-by never happened.
      • The original director of photography and his crew walked out on the film. He posted on YouTube and Reddit:
        I can't believe you guys reviewed "Partners." I actually was hired as the original DP on this film and my oh my do I have stories. (Writing this as I watch so it may be a bit disjointed) In a nut shell, I walked off that production and took my crew with me after 3 days of shooting because it was such a shitshow. That's one of the reasons why the director's name appears in the credits for almost every position. With regards to the badge being upside down, Pete did that intentionally because it was a real badge on a fake cop. His logic was that no one would know it was real if it was upside down (because it would be "unreadable"). I shot the opening scene, the bar scene and one other (I believe I still have the raw footage) after that Pete took over and the rest is history. The drive-by scene was when I decided to split for good. There was no safety prep, no permits, no nothing. As a matter of fact a blank did actually fire out of the Uzi and scared the shit out of the crew. We were filming on Staten Island and a Swarm of NYPD rolled up on us after reports of gun shots in the area. Overall your assumptions about how the crew changed constantly is 100% correct. Anyway if you want some more info on the horror that was this production or the joke it became aftward, hit me up. I think I still even have the original script, complete with typos. Hopefully you guys see this :-)
      • The scene in the chief's office attempts a Shot Reverse Shot, but the camera is focused on the guy's neck in the foreground and not the chief's face for no particular reason.
      • The unintentional Funny Background Events such as shirtless neighbors watching the film shoot on camera, and the script girl getting caught on screen as well.
      • The "Assassination Scene", where it looks like a mobster somehow shoots himself in the chest as opposed to the assassin he's firing at.
        Mike: [The assassin] shoots one of the mobsters, the gun stops, one of the assassination targets takes out his gun, fires it, and then shoots himself in the chest. And then they never show the other guy shooting again.
        Jack: The gunman is done shooting at that point and has started running away!
        Mike: He fires his gun, and then shoots himself. And whether or not that was a really unfortunate ricochet, or he just- or just terrible editing.
        Rich: He bought those Australian bullets.
        Mike: ...(Laughs) Boomerang! Ah, you did it! You did it! You made a successful joke.
      • The "Corkboard Scene", where two characters are supposed to be standing in front of a corkboard talking to a crowd. The only indication of there being a crowd is the fake crowd chatter added in post-production. The only thing on the corkboard is a piece of paper with the layout of a building on it that says "Department of Buildings". The camera cuts between two characters talking in front of this same piece of paper, somehow occupying the same space at the same time. The crew loved this scene so much that a corkboard with a replica of the "Department of Buildings" paper appears in the background of Space Cop.
      • The news report scene that seemed to have been filmed by somebody that didn't know how TV cameras worked, because if was actually broadcast the way the frame indicates, the reporter's entire head above her chin would be cut out.
  • Best of the Worst: Hologram Man, Faust: Love of the Damned, and Blood Street
    • When Rich reads the back of the box for Hologram Man, the first words out of his mouth are "Slash Gallagher", the name of the main villain, immediately causing Jay to laugh.
      Rich: "He is a mad psycho terrorist."
      Jay: And what is his name?
      Rich: Slash Gallagher. So...he smashes watermelons, with a machete.
      • Mike later says that Slash Gallagher smashes watermelons with a guitar.
    • Hologram Man has so many lapses in Fridge Logic that at one point, Jay asks how the now-holographic protagonist can type on a keyboard, only to resign mid-sentence.
    • Jay attempts to make a joke about the Hologram Man director's name, Richard Pepin, by saying he was the guy from Battlefield Earth, Barry Pepper. Mike points out that the names aren't even remotely similar enough for that to be funny. Then Jack tries to connect the name to "Charlotte Hornets player" Scottie Pippen. Everyone questions why he referred to him as a Charlotte Hornets player, when he's much more well-known as a Chicago Bulls player. After grilling Jack, Mike turns to Rich.
      Mike: Rich, I'm very happy to say, we're sitting on the non-embarrassing side of the table.
      Rich: (Laughs) And you're sitting next to Rich Evans.
    • Mike says that the cops should know to hide behind cover so that they don't get shot by the lunatic with a submachine gun, but they stand out in the open anyway. Rich jokes that they went into the Tactical Get Mowed Down Formation.
    • Mike criticizes how Hologram Man was written in a way that a few changes could have saved it from being a bad movie:
      Mike: There's numerous ways to improve this script. It's like watching a two-year-old draw something. "You're trying to draw the sun. It's a fucking circle!"
    • Mike and Rich both think of Total Recall (1990) when they talk about a character disguising themselves as another character.
      Mike: This side of the table thinks alike. Is that the expression?
      [Jay and Jack start talking amongst themselves]
      Rich: Stay on your side of the table.
      Jay: We're gonna build a wall.
      Rich: We're gonna build a wall and Jay is gonna pay for it.
    • Jay points out that he and Rich had almost opposite reactions to Faust. Every time Rich looks horrified, Jay looks amazed or even, as Mike jokes, weirdly into it.
    • Faust's opening scene is very melancholic, about the protagonist seeing his wife murdered and being very depressed about it. But when the title is presented, the heavy metal music and flashy opening credits start.
      Jack: "Wake up, dickheads, it's time for Faust!"
    • Rich guesses that the "M" who gives the main character his powers in Faust is Mephistopheles, but he mispronounces it. Mike asks him to try to say it again, and he gets it right.
      Jack: Take that, Mike!
      Rich: Are you gonna put a caption of me saying it right?
      • Rich then imagines a scoreboard between him and Mike, with hundreds of points for Mike, and Rich getting his first point.
    • Jack is both utterly horrified and fascinated at the visual of Claire being gruesomely transformed into what he calls "a tit puddle". Jay and Mike theorize they shot the scene when it was meant to be an extreme NC-17 horror film instead of a more palatable R-rated demonic superhero movie, and they only kept it in because there was no way they were not going to use such an expensive and memorable practical effect.
    • An edit points out that a scene where a woman breaks down sobbing after remembering when she was raped as a child by her father and a scene where a demon man fights a giant snake with a laser eye are in the same movie.
    • The Running Gag involving the damage to a woman's uterus in Faust, which includes a Black Comedy Rape joke and Mike casually correcting Rich on the sequence of events that led to said woman's uterus being damaged.
      Jay: Get your uterus destruction facts straight, Rich.
    • Blood Street has a much Darker and Edgier Leo Fong a.k.a. "Low Blow", whose Cowboy Cop antics include casually murdering people in fights he gets into and torturing people for information in broad daylight. One scene in particular has Leo Fong throw a dart into the forehead of a random guy in a bar, when it seems like that guy did absolutely nothing wrong.
      Jay: Oh my god!
      Jack: Stop murdering people!
      Jay: He keeps killing!
      Mike: That guy didn't even do anything.
      Jay: That guy was just playing darts!
      (As Leo Fong is smashing a guy's head against a pool table)
      Jack: No, Leo! Stop! He's already dead!
      Jay: He's a madman!
      Mike: He has some kind of hidden rage.
    • A lot of the Random Events Plot is just masked henchmen barging into a scene, shooting up the place, and randomly leaving off-screen with a Jump Cut to a seemingly unrelated scene. All of that thoroughly confused the crew to the point that Rich left the task of explaining the plot to Jack, who was able to explain the similarly inexplicable Tammy and the T-Rex.
    • In a random flashback, Leo's character's daughter apparently gets beaten to death. Her corpse, however, has no blood or bruises on it, her clothes are perfectly fine, and her arms are spread apart, hands open. Jay likens her pose to the act of planking.
    • Leo Fong's Dull Surprise to a mook shooting up his office, which is compounded by him shooting the mook with a Sawed-Off Shotgun and the mook's partner leaving with a similar reaction.
  • Plinketto #6:
    • When Jay meets special guest Simon Barrett.
      Jay: Oh hey, Simon Barrett! You wrote The VVitch! I fucking love that movie! It's so visual and full of subtext, probably the most haunting horror film I've ever seen.
      (Mike whispers into Jay's ear)
      Jay: Oh. Blair Witch.
      (Slide whistle)
    • They become very interested in one of the films on the board, Rollergator. The back of the box promises a rappin' purple baby alligator trying to escape from a ninja on a skateboard. They don't end up landing on it, and there's a failed attempt to retcon the third result into being it when it winds up being Mankillers.
    • Rocktober Blood actually got a crowdfunding campaign for a sequel, where $50 donations (plus $10 shipping) promised people HD Blu-Ray transfers of the original film. The crew watched one of these alleged transfers, and it's actually a poor-quality VHS rip. Simon also brings up a rumor that they used the money to open a barbecue restaurant rather than make the sequel.
      Simon: It was suggested many times on many forums that what had happened was that they were actually running a barbecue restaurant in Florida, and they just used the money to open this barbecue restaurant.
      Jay: This is all allegedly.
      Simon: This is all allegedly, yes.
      Mike: We wouldn't wanna imply fraud.
      Simon: We're only saying-
      Rich: We just wanna demonstrate it.
      Mike: We're just talking about extreme fraud. Criminal fraud, we're just talking about it.
      • After the film ends, a video starts up showing the now elderly creators, Ferb and Beverly Sebastian, and they answer questions about what they've been up to since the film. Given the controversy over the alleged barbecue restaurant scam, the video raises a lot of questions, as Beverly somehow got people boycotting her for a greyhound rescue, with no answers as to why that happened.
      Simon: So we don't know what happened, but then she starts a charity, which the entire segment is basically just shilling for this charity, which may or may not be a wonderful, positive charity.
      Rich: They need to open up a new barbecue restaurant.
      Mike: Oh god... (Jay starts to crack) is that where the greyhounds went?
      Rich: (Laughs) These ribs taste awfully weird.
      Simon: And then you just see them chasing the dog in the parking lot. They're like "I thought, this food, you said it'd be out quickly." And they're like "No no no, it came from something that was very fast."
    • The Pit is described by Jay as being a bizarre contemporary reimagining of Dennis the Menace.
      Jay: Iris zoom out. (Begins singing the Looney Tunes theme)
      • During the discussion, Simon brings up two obscure movies, Pin and The Reflecting Skin. The references are lost on both Mike and Rich, but Jay knows exactly what he's talking about.
      Simon: Have you seen The Reflecting Skin?
      Jay: Oh, I like that movie.
      Mike: Of course! Of course! He says some weird shit and you say "Of course!"
    • Mankillers is summed up by Rich as being two dozen boobs running around the woods with guns. They also include that even though the film has no real nudity (aside from one scene where one of the actress' breasts pops out of her tank top), it's somehow even sleazier than if it did.
      • They destroy Mankillers by going to Beaver Dam, Wisconsin, where The Pit was originally filmed. After trying and failing to find where the actual pit in the movie was, they throw Mankillers into a dumpster, with the same Looney Tunes-esque music sting as before.
    • Naturally Mike has to give Rich grief over his pick for Best of the Worst.
      Rich: The Pit. By a mile. By a fuckin' mile! Pit's one of the most interesting screenings I've had on Best of the Worst.
      Mike: Interesting is not the most entertaining. The rules say most entertaining-
      Rich: -For any reason. Then that's The Pit.
      Mike: (Acidly) Fine...
      Jay: (Laughs)
  • Best of the Worst: Kill Squad, Ryan's Babe and Demonwarp
    • Jack asks Josh if he's seen Solo, and Josh says he has, proclaiming it as an amazing movie, and saying it's one of his favorite Mario van Peebles movies.
    • Just like the Running Gag of how Jack never got to drop the ball for the longest time on Plinketto, Jay points out that Jack never got to be the host for the table discussion. Jack states that he has beforenote , but then stops himself and wonders if he actually had. This was meant to cue Jack to start the discussion, but he "takes too long" and Jay takes over.
    • Kill Squad for its first half hour (to the minute) runs on a strict pattern of someone getting into trouble, getting into a fight with whoever happens to be around (even random bystanders), and then they get recruited by the titular Kill Squad. The crew theorizes that the universe of the film is enforcing this pattern. If something happens that would logically cause events to deviate from the pattern, the universe corrects itself and the pattern is continued.
      • The film's second half hour (again, to the minute) has a different, but similarly strict pattern: go to place to interrogate someone, that person attempts to run away, fight breaks out between Kill Squad and whoever is in the general vicinity, mysterious sniper kills one of the Kill Squad members.
        Rich: Confront, run, kick, snipe, confront, run, kick, snipe, confront, run, kick, snipe.
    • Ryan's Babe ended up being one of the most insane and bizarre screenings to ever happen on the show. It has a cover that doesn't really fit anything besides a raunchy Sex Comedy, but the Random Events Plot is Played for Drama instead, leaving them immensely confused, on top of how bizarre and disconnected the story's direction is. Before the discussion starts, there is a super-cut of every Flat "What" and Big "WHAT?!" moment during the screening, rivaling their reaction to Dangerous Men (verbally, anyway — there's no cushion tossing.)
      • Rich's explanation of the plot takes so long that it's edited on top of itself. Yes, it approaches Double Down-levels of breaking Rich. At one point he gives up and angrily hands it over to Josh.
        Rich: And then he drives some more and he meets somebody else and something wacky happens. And then he gets kidnapped by somebody and then he goes somewhere else. And then he gets a job and then three months have gone by. And then he meets a woman and then the woman drugs him and rapes him. And then he's an exotic dancer. And then he goes somewhere else. Then he has lunch. And then he goes somewhere else. Then his stalker has lunch with his mother. And then he goes somewhere else. But at the meantime, he's at the Grand Canyon. And then he goes somewhere else. Aaaaaannd... And then the movie ends.
      • At one point, Josh tries to explain the movie in the sense of acts (specifically, that it felt like the film started in the middle of Act 2), with Rich not only trying to talk him out of it, but then trying to pass the film off to him.
        Rich: Fuck it, you're in charge, man, (picks up DVD; plants it in front of Josh) you-you, fuck it, you deal with it. You deal with that shit, (begins pointing at the DVD) I don't need this in my goddamn life! (Jay and Jack begin breaking) You think I need "Ryan's Babe" in my fucking life?!
        Josh: I do, Rich! You wouldn't shut up about it.
        Rich: You think I wanna explain the Inception flashback within a flashback within a flashback?! (camera zooms in on Rich) YOU THINK I WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT?!
      • The crew give special commendation to whoever did the dubbed voice for the stalker girl's father, managing to combine Hong Kong Dub and Same Language Dub. Jack asks "Is there an Oscar for ADR?"
      • At one point, the ADR is so bad that one characters says another character's line and the responding line in the same scene.
        Jim: I'll have another one, Jim! No more today, Bill! Please escort this gentleman through the door!
        Jay: Wait!
        Josh: Woah!
        Jay: What!?
        Jack: What!?
        Jay: He just said two peoples lines!
        Josh: He did.
        (close-up of Rich's look of shock)
      • The group claim that the movie's director, Ray Ramayya (Ph.D), is actually an alien who comes from the same planet as Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen.
      • When describing one sequence of eventsnote , Rich interrupts it to point out (with the screen tinting red as he does) "THIS ALL HAPPENED IN THE SPACE OF A MINUTE!"
      • The crew makes a note, both during their viewing and discussion, that at no point does the movie give the titular Ryan a destination in this road trip movie.
        Jack: It would be great if he was trying to accomplish something while all this wacky stuff happened to him.
        Jay: Yeah. There's no-
        Rich: "I've got to get here."
        Jay: Right, and then all these wacky complications get in the way, like every road trip movie ever.
        Jack: That's all, you need one line!
        Rich: "I've got to get to my sister's weeeeeeeeedding."
        Jack: He's working at a restaurant!
      • The group's reaction to learning what the title Ryan's Babe is referring to, Ryan's crazy Stalker with a Crush.
        Jack: She's Ryan's "babe"?!
        Rich: Of course she's Ryan's "babe" because this movie is BATSHIT CRAZY!!
      • Rich decides at one point to leave the room, and see if something insane will happen as a result. As soon as he does, a pointless police chase starts.
    • Jay compares watching Demonwarp after Ryan's Babe to the Hobbits returning to the shire after the events of Return of the King.
      Jay: Nobody around us will understand. We're changed. Some wounds will never heal. [Ryan's Babe] is Mt. Doom, and [Demonwarp] is going back to the little Hobbit community.
    • Josh speculates, because of what Jay said, that the show is reaching a peak.
      Josh: I really feel like, after this and Surviving Edged Weapons, we're really winding down the shows.
      Jay: So what you're saying is this is the last episode of Half in the Bag that we'll ever do...or Best of the Worst, whatever show this is.
      (everyone starts laughing)
      Jack: This is the last episode of Half in the Bag.
      Josh: I'll say it, this is the last episode of Half in the Bag I'm ever gonna be on. I'm done, I quit. note 
    • When talking about Demonwarp, Rich asks if they've been ruined on Bigfoot movies because of Suburban Sasquatch. Jay pulls his mic in to give a Big "YES!".
      • At one point, the camera pans to the right, and a crew member is in the background of the shot. They're also impossible to ignore, since the background is a dark cave, and the crew member is wearing all white.
      • Jack points out the movie's odd decision to show the lousy zombie costumes in brightly lit close-ups, and Jay contrasts it with Army of Darkness putting their cheapest puppets in the background and the best ones in the foreground.
        Rich: Was there a really good-looking mask in the background? Did they get it completely wrong?
        Jack: "Oh, I was supposed to be up fro- No one told me! I was in makeup for eight hours!"
  • Wheel of the Worst #17
    • One of the tapes on the wheel is "S&M Sweat and Muscle", a dominatrix style workout tape. They immediately laugh when they find out one of the hosts is named Dick the Gimp.
    • "Celebration of Age" turns out to be a new-age hippie video that they end up comparing to "The Dance of Birth".
      • The crew utterly loses it when Rich comments that one of the old women looks like Babe Ruth.
      • The tape begins with a list of influential women from ancient history, which makes the tape resemble some kind of attempt at witchcraft.
      • One of the women is playing the piano, and the music reminds Jim of a Suspiciously Similar Song.
        Jim: (singing) Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me!
        Mike: That's Paul McCartney on the piano.
        Colin: (Liverpool accent) I'm doin' a new song about witchcraft.
        Jim: (Liverpool accent) It's called "Croning".
      • They end up making a load of Star Wars jokes because one of the old ladies reminds them of Kathleen Kennedy and one of the Ireland postcards is of Skellig Michael.
        Rich: Solo was the croning achievement of her career.
        Colin: (laughs) The Crone Wars?
        Mike: The Crone Wars! Dammit!
        Rich: Ooooooh!
        Colin: (Yoda voice) "Begun the Crone Wars has." (laughs) (Obi-Wan voice) "He's got an army of Crones!"
        Mike: Did Paul McCartney say that?
        Colin: No!
        Mike: Oh, was that Obi-Wan Kenobi?
        Colin: That's a bad Obi-Wan.
        Mike: So we have the planet where Luke is hiding and Kathleen Kennedy both in "Celebration of Age".
        Rich: Star Wars: Celebration of Age.
        Mike: (laughs) $185 a ticket for a weekend pass.
        Rich: (laughs) We get to pay to go to Kathleen Kennedy's croning ceremony.
    • "Hug a Tree and Survive Canada" begins with a Magical Native American talking to a group of kids around a campfire.
      Native American: A tree is a safe place to be. And if you're ever lost in the woods, a tree can be your best friend. So, hug a tree.
      Rich: "Give me firewater if you want to hear the end of story." (laughs)
      Jim: (laughs) That's terrible! Can any of this be used?
      Mike: Oh if Rich says it, I'll use it.
      • The boy putting himself in an orange plastic bag with a hole for his face to stick out of.
      • The acting from the parents of the lost boy is so wooden that the crew theorizes that their plan the whole time was to ditch their kid in the woods so they could go to swinger parties.
    • When they land on "Mr. Wiggles Sessions" tape when they were hoping for "World Wide Web of Deceit", it cuts to them watching Mr. Wiggles popping and locking, before cutting back to the wheel and moving it over an inch to land on the desired tape.
    • In "World Wide Web of Deceit", Mike is able to immediately tell that James Robinson is a Christian pastor just by hearing him talk. Sure enough, the entire tape turns out to be a Christian effort to protect people from websites that promote pornography and homosexuality.
      • The crew theorizes that James Robinson's "special guest", Steve Lane, is only pretending to be a former pornography pusher turned Christian minister, because he talks with the exact same cadence as the host, and that his knowledge of sites pushing teen pornography actually comes from him being a stereotypical Pedophile Priest.
      • Steve Lane repeatedly mentions beastiality, particularly dwelling on Beauty with the Beast and Pocahontas and the raccoon, leading the crew to suspect that's his kink. Hilariously, every time Lane mentions beastiality, a terrified horse whinny is dubbed in.
      • James Robinson is speculated by the crew to be a Covert Pervert, since when Steve Lane shows him some pornographic websites, his eyes remain firmly locked on the computer screen, and he comments that the woman doesn't look like a back-alley prostitute, but an attractive actress.
      • Colin mocks the video's warnings about "the gay lifestyle" as vigilance against "homosinuality". Mike, in his typical gadfly fashion, pretends to agree with the video creators and seems to genuinely rile Colin.note 
  • For Episode 68, the episode is done with an interesting gimmick: All of the movies they watched were HD remasters of older movies, and the episode itself (the intro, viewing, and panel) was shot on 30-year-old videotape camcorders, making it look like it was shot in the 80s. That is until they try to talk about Silk, in which the quality returns so they can properly discuss Neil Breen's Pass Thru. The footage of the viewing is still shot on videotape, though.
    • The first lines of the discussion:
      Jay: ...Well, we tried.
      Rich: Fuck it, I'm just gonna take charge, then...Mike, just because Dr. McCoy is in it, tell us about Night of the Lepus.
    • The panel has an aside of how underutilized the death rattle of a rabbit is in Night of the Lepus:
      Mike: Look, all you people that live in LA and New York! Us midwesterners--
      Jay: We know the death rattle of bunnies!
      Mike: Every now and then, you hear the death rattle of a bunny, when it gets killed by a coyote. Bunnies don't make a sound their whole life, until a coyote gets them, and then they go..."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH", and it's the worst sound you've ever heard in your whole life.
      Josh: Oh god, you're gonna have to cut a real one in here, it's gonna be so awful.
      Mike: I didn't know a bunny could speak!
    • Mike gets impatient hearing Jay talk about Zombie 3, and says "Can we just condense all this talking into three words: Nonsensical Italian Movie."
    • The group are briefly confused about a scene in Zombie 3 of a family driving around in a station wagon, which seems to have nothing to do with the story... then they realize that all four of them were thinking of Night of the Lepus.
      Jay: That was collective dementia! That was all four of us forgetting what movie this happened in! Oh nooo...
    • When they try to discuss Silk, it cuts to a montage of them watching the movie, bored out of their minds, complete with Spinning Clock Hands. At one point Rich just goes around the room looking for alternate tapes to watch, including Wheel of the Worst material like David Carradine's tai chi videos. They end up doing what they've been meaning to do for the last two years: Watching Neil Breen's Pass Thru
      • The movie's DVD itself, in its clear jewel case, was sitting behind a glass case on the wall, before Rich breaks it with a hammer.
      • Jay calls the movie the 60-year-old equivalent of a teacher finding a teenager's weird letter in their locker.
        Josh: This movie will send you to the counselor's office.
      • Josh calling the movie's message "problematically vague", to the point where they're not sure if the movie itself is a manifesto.
      • Rich points out that one of the only takeaways from the movie is that Neil Breen bought a drone, what with all of the obvious drone shots.
      • What they consider to be the best and worst effect of the movie is when it superimposes Breen over a tiger, and it looks fine...until the camera recording of the tiger moved, but he doesn't move and the lighting on him doesn't change.
      • Mike and Josh laboriously pointing out just how ridiculous it is to have multiple scenes showing rich people blatantly talk about the corrupt things they do, followed by Breen pointing out that it's corrupt, and to have said rich people nonchalantly wonder who he is.
        Mike: Literally, rich people, or bad people, have cocktail parties in the same two houses with the same stock footage background. They literally just say what they do that's bad.
        Josh: My favorite thing about that is that the rich people just go like "Who the fuck was that?"
        Mike: After they spilled their guts! They're like "Who was that cracker? Who was that elderly real-estate agent from Las Vegas? He's in our house!"
        Josh: It feels like this is supposed to be like the comeuppance montage where it's just like, "Oh right, that is a bad thing to do to people." None of those people do. They're just like, "Who was that guy?"
        Mike: "Wasn't that the balding elderly real estate agent in Las Vegas who sold me my house last year?"
      • Mike and Josh stressing the point that Breen's character commits genocide by killing 300 million people he doesn't like, including two innocent news anchors that tried to call security on him just so he can broadcast his convoluted manifesto.
      • Mike makes the case that Breen's movies promote less of a specific political ideology and more a form of anarchy, to the point that they worry that he's going to do some serious damage, and jokingly saying that if the president is ever in Las Vegas, the Secret Service should have "eyes on Breen".
        Rich: It's funny now.
    • Since Silk was the first movie they ever stopped watching partway through on Best of the Worstnote , they decide to destroy it in "the most passive way possible", namely by lazily stepping on it and weakly bending it until it broke.
  • For their spotlight episode on the Special Effect Failure spectacular Lycan Colony, the panel frequently speculates that the wolf costumes used in the movie were for an existing furry costume the writer/director already had.
    • Rich takes it further, and theorizes that the only reason the movie was made in the first place was because the director's wife found his furry costume, and made it up on the spot.
    • Jack says that the perfect example for the director not knowing how to adapt their vision is a scene where the mom character is meant to look through the keyhole, but since the room had a modern door, instead she puts her eye to the doorknob and looks through a hole that doesn't exist.
    • Josh takes umbrage with one special effect, where instead of giving the actor a temporary tattoo, they superimpose an image of the tattoo on the back of his neck, barely moving when he moves. Jack says that at that point it's just nitpicking.
      • They do the same thing with an inscription on a gold watch. The watch is established to be missing, and the crew immediately thinks that the watch is going to be found later in the movie as a plot point. The watch is then found immediately after it's established when the guy serving them accidentally drops it on the table.
    • Rich says that, out of all of the examples of bad film making to learn from this movie, the one that hits hardest is to never film in day-for-night.
      Rich: If you watch RedLetterMedia for filmmaking tips and advice, that's the one lesson you come away from with this episode; Don't. Shoot. Day-for-night. Ever. Ever.
      Jack: It won't look good and you can't do it.
      Mike: Worst case scenario, get a light, plug it in and shoot it in the woods, turn on your smoke machine, it'll look like garbage, as we've known from all of our films, but it's better than doing day-for-night.
      Rich: They shoot- They shoot interiors here...they're still doing day-for-night!
      Josh: I know.
      • Rich says that he wouldn't put it past this movie to try and pull off night-for-day. Cut to an edited scene from the movie that was actually shot at night, but then given a yellow filter over everything and a drawing of the sun pasted in the corner.
    • The heroine of the movie is named Russ because the role was originally meant for a man. The man never showed up, and the role was given to a woman, but they didn't feel like editing the script at all, resulting in her having a man's name.
    • At one point, Dr. Dan yells "awesome" so loud that the audio clips and he's cut off, resulting in him yelling "AWESO-" with a mouth full of steak.
    • Then there's the server's Narm Charm bellowing of "misss-TAKE!"
    • Mike's attempt at a Hurricane of Puns revolving around bears that don't work since they're watching a movie about werewolves.
      Josh: No, it's barely a movie.
      Mike: It's...wolfly a movie?
      Jack: Oh, cause bear?
      Mike: Yeah, I, eh...
      Rich: You just pick anything that lives in the woods and you think that's gonna be a pun?
      Mike: I'm scraping at the bottom of the barrel.
      Jack: The wolfrel?
      Mike: The rolfrrrrrel!
      Jack: (laughs)
      Mike: The puns that are in my brain, it was operated on by Dr. Dan!
      Josh: Ah, there it is!
      Rich: If only this were a bear movie. You'd be fine, you'd be golden.
      Mike: All my puns would be unbearablllllllllllle.
      Jack: Mike, let me paws you for a second.
      Mike: Paws!?
      Jack: So we can continue talking about the wolf movie! I thought that was a better one.
      Rich: At least that one was appropriate.
      Jack: Yeah, y'know. It took me a while to think of it while Mike was blathering.
      Mike: Lycan Colon-y? Cause it's shitty!?
      (Rich laughs, while Jack nearly does a Spit Take)
      Josh: Oh, you got him with that one! Wow!
      Mike: I always got a secret weapon up my sleeve.
      Rich: That one worked! ...I give that pun a canine out of ten!
      (Mike nearly does a Spit Take)
    • At one point in the movie, the actors are reading their lines off of cue cards that are visible to the audience, and the lines aren't even read right, with gems such as "Why can't us?" and "municipal purposes" when referring to marijuana.
      Josh: This is when all the exposition happens, in an off-camera cue card way, which we can actually see.
      Rich: With some hilarious mispronunciations.
      Mike: Yes, there are several of those.
      Rich: And I'm Rich Evans.
    • During the film's climax, the background switches to a greenscreened day-for-night forest, and the greenscreen has a very obvious hole in it.
    • Near the end of the review, an actual cricket finds its way into the room and begins chirping after one of their jokes.
  • The 2018 Halloween Special (Carnivore, Hauntedween and Black Roses) continues the tradition of Halloween being the episode where everyone drinks... a lot.
    • The house in Carnivore is referred to as the Romero house, prompting some eyerolling from the crew.
      Jay: Tip to low-budget horror film makers; Don't do that.
      Mike: Never, ever do that.
      Rich: You have to explain that.
      Mike: They're paying homage to 17th century Mexican artist José Romero.
      Jay: Oh. Is that what it is?
      Mike: Yeah. What did you guys think it was?
      Jack: Very subtle.
      Rich: It's right next to the Savini house.
      Mike: Yeah, right.
      Rich: The 17th century French impressionist painter.
      Jay: (Laughs)
      Mike: So many references we mistakenly interpret as horror nods.
    • When discussing how to cut down the extensive Padding in Carnivore, Mike states that the only way to make the movie good is to cut every scene.
      • The panel somehow gets into an impassioned argument about what is the best wall in the haunted house: the simple and obviously fake wall with a cheap exposed brick decal or the higher production wall with lights shining through the boards. The discussion goes on for a good 5 minutes.
      Jack: This is classic Team Brick-Wall gaslighting! You're just steamrolling over the important facts to support your narrative!
      • The group's sheer joy at the realization that the female FBI agent was clearly not on set for a number of scenes and was replaced by someone in a wig, necessitating the character to pointedly face away from the camera or even fall asleep in the middle of a scene. Rich speculates it was because the actress was in a Crest toothpaste commercial and was thus too big a star for the film to afford.
      • The group extensive attempt to figure out if the secret laboratory was built beneath an existing haunted house or just bought one to put on top... which then leads to the logistical question of why they would build a lab there in the first place.
    • The gang has two other lengthy discussions on the name of HauntedWeen's villain, Eddie Berber. Mike suggests several more appropriate businesses for the Berber name than "haunted house" - "Berber PVC Piping", "Berber Autoglass", etc. He eventually settles on "Berber Family Air Conditioning and Ductwork", becuase of the unusual amount of air vents in the family's rural house.
    • After their discussion of Carnivore ends, Jay pours everyone but Rich shots. Cut to 30 minutes later, everyone but Rich is completely wasted and for some reason Mike starts talking about Jay murdering cats.
      Rich: (talking into his mic) This was a bad idea. A very bad idea.
      Mike: Remember when you murdered cats? Goodnight, sweet cats!
      Rich: (talking into his mic) Who-who brought the fucking shotglasses?
      (an arrow points to Jay)
      Jay: I thought this would be funny, it turns out it's a terrible idea! I never murdered cats, Mike.
      Jack: You grew up on a farm, you get a lot of cats, sometimes the cats gotta go down.
      Jay: Why are you doing this to me?!
      Mike: Goodnight, sweet cats...
      Jay: All you're doing is making this harder and harder!
      Mike: Meow, meo-aaaaagh!
      Jay: (breaks down laughing)
      Mike: When Jay dies and he reaches the Pearly Gates, there's thousands and thousands of cats...
      Jack: Cats don't have souls, that's not a problem...
      Mike: Yes, they do! And they have worms coming out their ears...
      Jay: (keeps laughing)
      Jack: That's dogs, and they don't—
      Mike: Meow, welcome Jay!
      • Jay and Mike are very noticeably drunk during this brief segment. Both keep slurring their words, Mike especially, Jay reacts too strongly to what's around him while he's struggling to keep the discussion on track, and Mike decides to randomly lay down on the floor at one point.
        (As Rich cracks up at the drunken antics of the rest of the crew.)
        Jay: What the fuck is happening?! Why is Rich freaking out?!
        Josh: He's not.
      • While the discussion was derailing, Jay invites Josh to replace Mike in attempt to bring back any semblance of order. It doesn't work.
      • This leads to a first for the show, where the panelists (except Rich) became too drunk to continue, and came back two days later to finish their discussion. After the "2 Days Later" card, the panel is shown drinking nothing but bottled water.
    • Jay says that Hauntedween was filmed in Kentucky, Tennessee.
      Jay: "Filmed in Kentucky, Tennessee."
      Mike: Ohh...wait. Kentucky is a state, and so is Tennessee.
      Jay: But there could be a Kentucky in Tennessee. Oh no, wait. "Filmed in Kentucky, Tennessee, and at Western Kentucky University."
      Mike: ...Well that's staying in.
      Jay and Rich: (Laughs)
      Mike: Jay failed geography in grade school.
      Jay: I just read the thing!
    • When reading the description for Black Roses, Mike compares the rockstar on the back to Slade Kraven.
      Jay: What was the rock guy from Trick or Treat? Sammi Curr!
      Mike: Wow. Have you got like a photographic memory or something?
      Jay: Only when it comes to shitty heavy metal horror films.
      Mike: Right. Cause you don't remember what our states are. But you remember Sammi Curr.
      Jay: (laughs) The important things.
      • Mike notes that the Idiot Plot of Black Roses depends on no word travelling of this popular rock band creating zombies and destroying every town they visit, but jokes that it might work if it was set in the 1890s and the band was racing the Pony Express to get ahead of the news.
      • The Dawson Casting of the movie's teens leads Rich to speculate that one of the classrooms is just a PTA meeting where the parents are roleplaying to try to feel young.
  • The second Black Spine Edition has friend of RLM Tim Higgins as a guest. While Jay says they'll be doing a normal episode with three movies, Rich, dressed as and acting like a butler, calls them into the adjacent room. Inside, Mike, dressed up as a magician and putting on a theatrical voice, pulls back a curtain to reveal an entire wall of black spine tapes.
  • Plinketto #7: Prototype X29A, Quigley, and Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House, featuring special guest Macaulay Culkin.
    • The Plinketto board was stacked with films they knew would be funny to watch, but Prototype X29A was an extra film they weren't sure about put on by Mike. After they ended up landing on it, Mike shifts the blame to Rich since he's the one who dropped the ball.
      • The protagonist in Prototype X29A is named Hawkins Coselow, which they mock for sounding way too close to "coleslaw".
      • The titular Prototype robot uses a rifle, but because the robot suit is so bulky and constrictive, he can't fire it straight. He can neither turn his head nor aim the gun in front of him, leading to him firing it sideways while still looking forward. Jay ends up comparing it to the suit in the early Batman films where he couldn't actually move his neck.
    • The crew is perplexed by the idea of Quigley, a Christian children's film about a man turned into a Pomeranian...starring Gary Busey.
      Rich: This is a family film.
      Jay: It is a film about family, as we discover.
      Rich: Starring Gary Busey, for some reason.
      Jay: Look, the kids, Rich, the kids love Gary Busey.
      Macaulay Culkin: Kids love Gary Busey.
      Jay: There's Mr. Rogers, and Gary Busey.
      Mike: They call him Scary Busey.
      Jay: (Laughs) "Why's that man keep having seizures? What's he doing?"
      Mike: "He's drunk like daddy!"
      Macaulay Culkin: "He looks like how daddy smells!"
      • There is a scene in which the Pomeranian is meant to be pushing a chair, but at the edge of the frame, you can see that it's being pulled by a crew member. Not only is his hand visible, but you can even see his reflection on a wall.
      • The crew comes up with a lot of theories on the filming of this movie, including that the entire premise of Gary Busey being a dog was retconned in because Gary was filming all of his scenes on all-fours, which he wasn't supposed to do, that Gary Busey wasn't aware this was a Talking Animal movie and that him saying "Am I a talking dog?" in the movie was his genuine reaction, and they also theorize that most of the film's budget went into people helping Gary Busey out of bushes he falls into and generally trying to contain his insanity.
        Rich: "Gary, if we don't put you back in [the cage], you wander away and we can't find you."
        (Macaulay Culkin begins digging at the table)
        Rich: "Are you trying to dig your way out? Gary, it's concrete."
        Mike: (Laughs) Are you the production assistant girl with the clipboard? "Gary?"
        Rich: "Mr. Busey, that's concrete, you can't dig out."
        Macaulay Culkin: "Shut up! Wait, I'm a dog!"
        Mike: Like half the credits were "assistant to Mr. Busey"? Like thousands of people, like the end of a Marvel Avengers movie.
        Jay: Yeah, all the special effects people, except it's just people pulling Gary Busey out of bushes.
        Rich: Half of them are, like, "Doctor".
    • There's a Running Gag that since Macaulay Culkin chose Home Alone 4 (despite it not being on the board), he finds it incredibly good, to the point of chastising Rich for not liking it
      (Rich loudly groans at a slapstick gag, causing everyone to laugh)
      Josh: You're ready for the rest of the movie, Rich!
      Mike: It's just starting...
      Macaulay Culkin: (gets up and points at Rich) You better start laughing! This is comedy fucking gold! (points to screen) This is fucking gold right here! John Hughes created these characters, alright?! You're disrespecting Mr. John Hughes! Every time there's a joke I'm going to look at you! I'm going to look right at you and point!
      (another slapstick gag happens; Culkin stares intensely at Rich)
      Rich: (forced) Ah, haaaaa, haaaaa, ah, haaaa...
    • The observation that Kevin didn't call the cops, even though he really had every opportunity to, leads the crew to psychoanalyse Kevin and Marv:
      Rich: You know what? Kevin didn't call the cops because he's really just out for blood.
      Macaulay Culkin: Yeah.
      Rich: He's really a sadist.
      Mike: Yeah, he's out for revenge.
      Rich: No, I really think he just likes hurting people.
      Mike: Oh! Okay.
      (cut to a scene of Kevin tormenting Marv and his girlfriend, and laughing manically at it)
      Jay: It's a... symbiotic relationship, right?
      Mike: Yes.
      Culkin: Mm-hm.
      Jay: He needs Marv, and Marv needs him.
      Culkin: Mm-hm.
      Rich: You see, Marv is secretly into masochism.
      Jay: Okay. Alright. He loves getting his genitals mutilated.
      Culkin: (laughs) Yeah.
      Rich: He does! That's why he keeps coming back for more.
      Mike: He loves the grappling hook to the balls.
      Jay: Is it just pain in general or specifically to his groin?
      Rich: (laughs) Pain in general, but—
      Culkin: I think the answer to both of those are "Yes!"
      Rich: Yes!
      Mike: I think the scary part is that it is pain inflicted by a nine-year-old boy.
      Jay: Oh! That's an important factor! It's not just pain.
      Mike: Just a detail that helps.
      Rich: That's vital! That's vital!
      Culkin (as Marv): We need each other!
      Jay: A nine-year-old that a year prior was a ten-year-old. He keeps de-aging.
      Mike: Yeah, he's got Benjamin Button syndrome. [...] Eventually, he will be, like, an infant.
      (everyone laughs)
      Mike (as Marv): (groans) Kevin! Hurt me!
      Jay: He'll be smacking Marv in the dick with, like, a rattle!
      (everyone laughs)
      Mike (as Marv): Throw your bottle at my crotch! (groans)
    • Finally, the time comes to pick the Best of the Worst:
      Rich: It has to be Quigley!
      (awkward silence; Macaulay Culkin gives Rich a Death Glare)
      Rich: (nervously) Home... Alone? (cautiously places his hand on the tape)
      (Macaulay Culkin holds the stare a little while longer, then smiles and nods)
      Mike: Home Alone? Good choice.
      Jay: Yeah. I was gonna say Quigley...
      (Culkin gives Jay a death glare)
      Jay: ...Not for Best of the Worst! I was gonna go with Home Alone: Taking Back the House. Of course. Yeah.
      Culkin: (smiles warmly) That's a really good choice! You have good taste.
      Jay: Thank you.
      Culkin: Mike?
      Mike: My choice is... (looks at Culkin) I'm sorry, Prototype X29A.
      Rich: Oh, fuck you! (laughs)
      (Culkin stares at Mike and takes a deep breath)
      Mike: Ummm...
      Culkin: No, okay. Fine. You can live with that... I'm picking Quigley. That shit's hilarious!
      (everyone laughs)
      Rich: This episode is a SHAM!
  • Best of the Worst: Christmas or Cats, featuring Two Front Teeth, Uninvited and Christy.
    • The actor playing Santa in Two Front Teeth is clearly far too young.
      Rich: They needed to find the old man who looks just like a real life Santa Claus.
      (Mike points at Christy)
      Josh: He was busy.
    • Mike speculates that the ninja nuns in Two Front Teeth were played by porn stars, but the rest of the crew takes issue with this since the movie was filmed in Maryland.
      Mike: I'm speculating, they may not have been porn stars.
      Josh: Is there regional Maryland porn?
      Jay: (Laughs)
      Rich: "She's big in the Maryland porn scene!"
      Jay: I'd just like to hear the accents when they're goin' at it.
      Josh: (Laughs)
      Rich: "I got this one hot movie where she covered her breasts in clam chowder!"
    • Jay tries to have Mike cover Uninvited, but passes it over to Rich.
      Jay: So the next film that we watched was Uninvited, this was the only cat film. And, Mike?
      Mike: I was gonna hand it off to Rich. One, cause he loves cats. And-
      Rich: You know, I don't want to talk about Christy. Just, y'know, fuck it.
      Jay: Hey, what is this!? What is this!?
      Rich: Mutiny! Mutiny!
      Jay: What is this mutiny!? What is happening here?
      Rich: You know what I'm gonna say about Christy? It was awful and confusing. That's all I'm gonna say.
      Josh: If you've got more to say-
      Rich: Because Uninvited is delightful.
      Mike: And Rich, you're very familiar with the term "uninvited". (Rim Shot)
      Jay: (Laughs)
      Josh: This is why he wanted to do this. This is why he's doing the other video.
      Jay: Was it for that one joke?
      Mike: YES!
      Jay: Well, I'm gonna say it was worth it.
      Mike: Thank you!
    • The sound design in the movie is hilariously repetitive. The cat meows constantly with the same meow sound effects over and over again, and at one point when a truck tumbles over a cliff, it plays the same glass breaking sound effect over and over again, sometimes interrupting itself.
    • The sheer incompetence of Christy is shown on the front cover. Not only is the image of the reindeer horribly blurry, but the text of the title is too, which, as Mike explains, is really hard to mess up.
      Mike: Text is usually vector-based, which means you can blow it up or shrink it without losing resolution, and when they screw text up, it usually means they had an image of text, and then blew that up, which means they had no idea what they're doing.
    • The various examples of Special Effect Failure in the film. Their attempt at an aerial shot of Santa's village was to haphazardly place some miniature cottages into the snow and film that. Also, instead of using a greenscreen or a bluescreen, they used a white background, and since Santa wears a white-trimmed outfit, he's always partially transparent.
      Rich: This would have wowed them in, like 1908. In the era where people were afraid the train would hit them, these effects would have killed.
    • At one point in Christy, Mike just starts laughing for no reason and can't stop.
      Rich: You were laughing that it was that inept.
      Mike: No. I was just laughing like a person in a straightjacket would laugh. There was no context, I was just like "Aaaah, my brain stopped working."
    • Jay makes a point to mention that the songs in Christy were done by Frank Woehrle, who had appeared in Red Letter Media years prior via footage from "Sing Along With Frank Woehlre" in episode 9 of Half in the Bag, with Jay in particular referencing how Mike had smashed the tape with a hammer.
      • It's also worth mentioning that all these years later, they still had that tape.
    • Christy is so weird and incomprehensible that Rich asks if it aired on [adult swim] at 4 AM.

     2019 Episodes 
  • Best of the Worst: Cybernator, Panther Squad and Project Metal Beast, featuring guest star Freddie Williams.
  • Wheel of the Worst #18: Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults, Preventing Disaster at the Crossing, and Creating Rem Lezar
    • Mike and Josh are made massively uncomfortable by a film on the wheel called Orgasmic Birth.
    • Another tape on the wheel is called How to Sell Thousands of Dollars Worth of Plants from Home, Even if Your House is Surrounded by Huge Discount Stores and Home Improvement Stores. The title takes up more than two-thirds of the cover, and also has a black-and-white picture of a guy sitting next to a couch with a load of money.
    • Mike and Josh look at How to Have Fun with Billy Bob Teeth.
      Mike: "Best selling tape"...oh, I was gonna say "Best selling tape in West Virginia".
      Josh: Oh. They don't have VCR's there.
      Mike: (Laughs) And they already know how to have fun with Billy Bob teeth.
      Josh: That's just daily life.
      Mike: "I don't need to watch no video about that!"
      Josh: I feel like if we watch this video, we're all going to be looking like this lady on the front cover, with the caption that says "??? Next ???"
      Mike: "Plus Billy Bob Boogie music video".
      Josh: Oh, that's not gonna go well.
      Mike: AKA Time filler. "Three thumbs up"?
      Rich: (Off-screen) They're very inbred in West Virginia.
    • The cover of How to Play to Win Blackjack, which is also cluttered with loads of gambling terms, advertises that the cover layout was done by someone who works for Sierra Design named A. Burden.
      Josh: That's what it actually says, and I can tell, it was a burden.
      Mike: (Points at the plant selling video) I mean, they could have had him do it, because at least his is like black text on a white background, you can clearly read it, this is a burden to read.
      Josh: It was a burden to make and a burden to read, thanks a lot.
    • Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults casually mentions that Satan worshippers and homosexuals go hand-in-hand with nothing to back it up, leaving the crew dumbfounded.
      Josh: So they have to go outside to do their rituals, and also homosexuals.
      Jay: (Laughs)
      Josh: What!? What!? Woah, what!?
      Jay: Just that minor little mention to connect Satanists and homosexuals in your brain.
      Rich: Can you say "agenda"?
      • Much of the video is spent walking around a park where Satanic activity definitely took place and totally wasn't set up by the makers of the video. Signs include Satanic symbols spray painted on trees, including a pentagram that is upside-down from how Satanists normally draw them, a discarded bloody noose, and an empty bottle of xylocaine.
        Josh: No, it is definitely not happenstance that the second this man walks into this park, there is a pentagram on a tree, and it's not even the right way up for Satanists. It's upside-down.
        Jay: Well, he points that out, and we're like "Oh, when they went to film this, they drew that on the tree and they fucked up." Someone got fired over that blunder.
      • When Mike says the thought Rem Lezar was more real than the priest in the video.
        Josh: What is this "more real"!?
        Mike: Uh, Rem Lezar was more real—
        Josh: Rem Lezar is real!
        Mike: Oh, oh! Does he cum on you in your dreams— I mean, come to you in your dreams too?
        Rich: (laughs) Mike, we're getting there, we're getting there, don't worry about it. Rem Lezar is coming!
        Jay: I just wanna point out that—
        Rich: Rem Lezar is coming, Mike!
        Jay: Rem Lezar is coming!
        Rich: Prepare yourself!
        Mike: When I was seven, Rem Lezar came on me— I mean, came to me in my dreams as well.
        (everyone laughs)
      • Jay points out that, according to the video, Satanists love anal, and apparently have a calendar for when anal is okay. They then show a supercut of every time the video says "anal".
    • Preventing Disaster at the Crossing is a video for school bus drivers on how to avoid getting hit by a train. When the video talks about the kids running out of the bus into the safe area, they say that it would make sense for them to keep running as far away from the collision as possible, until they run into the woods where they meet Rem Lezar and a group of cops setting up a fake Satanic crime scene.
      • The gang points out that the target audience of bus drivers at risk of getting hit by a train is fairly narrow, and the primary thrust of the video seems fairly obvious.
        Mike: And really, they're like "Shit. We gotta tell bus drivers to watch out for trains!"
        Jay: Yeah, apparently that was not common sense at the time.
        (Later, after footage of a train barreling into a schoolbus)
        Mike: And they're like "Everybody, a train weighs six millions tons, it's this giant hunk of steel that cannot be stopped."
        Josh: Especially by a bus.
        Mike: "Watch out!"
        Jay: Who would've thought?
        Josh: Get the fuck out of the bus.
        Mike: "This thing weighs fifty thousand tons, if it hits your car it's gonna obliterate it! It's a traiiiin! Look out!"
    • Creating Rem Lezar ended up being so funny that they were filled with joy after having to watch a video about children dying in a bus-train collision.
      • Since Rem Lezar is an Imaginary Friend who somehow appears to two separate children in their dreams, the group ends up comparing him to Freddy Kreuger.
      • When the boy, Zack, is sent to the principals office (for, as the others summarize, having an imagination), he asks the principal if he has any kids, and the principal says he thinks of all the kids in the school as his own. The principal clearly has a picture of his kids on his desk. Rich and Mike then simultaneously make the same joke that his kids were killed in a bus accident.
      • Zack and Ashlee put together a mannequin of Rem Lezar that comes to life, but they need a medallion to keep him alive. They get a lot of mileage out of the words "come" and "cum".
        Rich: But there's a problem, he comes to life, magically he comes to life, but he doesn't have his magic medallion that will bring him to life... (stops and looks puzzled) In order to, I guess, make him come more
        Jay: Oh god!
        Rich: —magically to life— (laughs)
        Josh: Come on!
        Jay: What do they have to do in order to make him cum more, Rich?
        Rich: In order to make him come more to life, they need to find the Kee-ho-ticnote  Medallion.
        Mike: Quixotic.
        Rich: They need to find the Quixotic Medallion, but unfortunately—
        Mike: Wait, that makes him cum more?
        Rich: That makes him come more to life, yes. Because he's already come to life. If they don't find that medallion before sunset, Rem Lezar will never cum again!
        (everyone laughs)
      • The villain Vorock says that the medallion is hidden somewhere high, and Rich jokes that it's at the top of the World Trade Center.note  Little do they know...
        Rich: "The highest place you can imagine is at the top of the World Trade Center. The Quixotic Medallion will be there on September 1st of 2001."
        Mike: September 10th. The morning of September 11th.
        Rich: "You have to be there to get the medallion!"
        (5 minutes later)
        Zack: That's not it, that's the Empire State Building.
        Ashlee: It's really tall!
        Mike: (gasps)
        Rem Lezar: It certainly is.
        Zack: But the building my dad showed me is much taller, and there are two of them!
        Mike: OH GOD!
        Jay and Rich: OH MY GOD!
        Rich: (laughs)
        Jay: Holy shit! How the fuck did you call that!? It was so random!
      • Vorock screams "WHAT!?" in a way that sounds almost exactly like Rich, causing Jay to laugh and say he didn't know Rich was in the movie.
      • The crew is completely stumped as for why this film was made, with theories being tossed around as either it being a failed pilot (it could be split into two episodes, factoring in commercial breaks) or a failed Christian film (as they kept expecting the Christianity bent to show up... and it never does).
      • At the end, Zack sings about the adventure they had with Rem Lezar... which Rich points out was them going to a park and getting lost.
      • They try desperately to find out where the name "Rem Lezar" comes from, and end up with a load of theories involving anagrams, acronyms, symbolism involving foreign words, 9/11 and Area 51. Mike gets so frantic and confused, he straight up punches the tape off of the table.
    • Mike tries to vote for Preventing Disaster at the Crossing as his Best of the Worst, going against the grain and leading everyone else to call him a contrarian for not picking Creating Rem Lezar.
  • In the "Our VHS Collection" video, Mike reads off the title of every single movie they have on VHS in his Plinkett voice. There are over 1000 tapes and the video is over half an hour in length.
    • Over the years, they have collected 67 copies of Nukie, and Mike lists every copy, getting more unhinged after naming each one.
      • The last copy of Nukie is a French version called Nukie et Miko, but features the characters from Mac and Me on the cover.
    • Nearly every time a sequel comes up, Mike follows up naming the title with "It happened again?"
      • "Zombie 6. It happened that many times!?"
      • "Witchcraft XI? It happened that few times?"
    • "Fifty Fifty? I wonder what the odds of me seeing this are...Zero.
    • "Hobo-Goblins—Hobgoblins!" (Jay laughs)
    • The cover of their copy of Alice, Sweet Alice is almost completely destroyed. "Uh...Brooke Shields in something."
    • He reads Crime Zone as Space Cop because of the similar appearance of the main character, causing Jay to laugh again.
    • For The Lost Idol, "Erik Estrada is...a failed actor."
    • Black Mask 2: City of Masks becomes "Black Mask Mask 2: City of Masks of Masks."
      • And when it pops up again "Oh god, Black Mask-sk 2: Masks of Cities of Masks."
    • Mike can't read the title Dangerous Orphans without him, Jay and Rich all laughing.
    • "Peter Coyote and Danny Glover in Deadly Drifter. I'll never watch that."
    • "Little Mad Guy". (Jay laughs)
    • "Charlie Sheen in Fast and Fun", where the movie was actually called Terminal Velocity and "Fast and Fun" was the review quote.
    • The last action movies listed are ones with very samey titles with generic action film buzzwords that flow into each other beautifully.
      "Death Before Dishonor, Messenger of Death, Death Wish 4, Death Sentence, Death Fight, Death Kick, Death Force, A Force of One, Deadly Force, Outlaw Force, Outlaw Force, Avenging Force, Lethal Force, Night Force, Invasion Force, Black Force, American Commandos, Born American, American Justice, American Ninja 2, American Tiger, American Tigers, Gen-X Cops, Karate Cop, Karate Cops, Rent-a-Cop, Cop Game, Family of Cops, Violent Cop, Karate Cop, Omega Cop, hey, Frank Zagarino, Trained to Kill, Intent to Kill, Forced to Kill, Hired to Kill, Rage to Kill, Kill Crazy, Kill Crazier, Mission Kills, Midnight Angels, Black Belt Angels, Avenging Angel, Angel Fist, Angel of Fury, Angel of Heat, Angel of Destruction, The Final Executioner, The Final Sanction, Final Mission, Final Mission, another Final Mission, Fantasy Mission Force, Mission Manila, Mission of Justice, Laser Mission, Ninja Mission, The Ninja Mission, Enter the Ninja, Lethal Ninja, Ninja Turf, Master Ninja 2, Super Ninja, Challenge of the Lady Ninja, Ninja Wars and Ninja Terminator, Deadly Life of a Ninja, Deadly Life of a Ninja, Ninja Nightmare, Ninja Champion, Screaming Ninja, American Ninja 2, Zombie vs. Ninja, Cobra vs. Ninja, Ninja Heat, Ninja Destroyer with Stewart Smith, Ninja Hunt, another Ninja Hunt, and Cryptz."
  • Best of the Worst: Spookies, Action USA and Alien Private Eye
    • The episode begins with Rich trying and failing to tell Jay why he shouldn't vaccinate his kids.
    • The episode marks the return of the "Battle of the Genres" series... which, they note, is now largely redundant, since most episodes now follow the "multiple genres" theme, and all it adds is a brief discussion at the end that usually gets edited down for time anyway.
      • And as if to act as the final nail in the coffin, at the end of the video, everyone abuptly remembers that this isn't "Best of the Worst", and have to awkwardly swap rules on the fly.note 
        Rich: So now, we're at the part of the night where we have to figure out which of these movies is the- (stalls)
        Jay: ... Oh, shit.
    • The back of Spookies boasts about all of the monsters in it, including "lust-crazed muck men", which causes Jay to wonder why that wasn't the title of the movie.
      • When they get to the actual muck men in the movie, them being "lust-crazed" is far less noticeable than the fact that they keep farting every few seconds and without explanation. Rich speculates that this was an inept sound editor's idea of what a fitting "squishy" noise would be for muck men.
      • Much like with Black Roses, the (sort of) main hero of this movie is clearly much older than the group of teenagers he's hanging out with, to the point that they initially assumed he was a chaperone at the party they were introduced coming from.
      • The main job of the Wolf Man in the movie seems to be to close doors, causing the group to say he's actually Cameron Mitchell's henchman, referencing how in Terror in Beverly Hills he was constantly screaming to "Close the fuckin' doors!"
      • Three members of the group find themselves locked in a room with the Grim Reaper by the Wolf Man. The crew lose it when the main hero's solution to this problem is to just dive through the door head-first.
      • The Grim Reaper gets thrown over a railing and explodes for no reason. Rich says that this is because he was originally meant to appear in Action USA.
    • The main protagonist of Action USA drives a Cool Car while wearing Cool Shades, drinking beer, feeling up a girl and carrying a gun in his pants, which immediately raises suspicion for the group that he's Compensating for Something.
      • The heroes end up plowing their car through the house of a random (clearly low-income) family. After a very disingenuous "Sorry about the house, buddy", they drive off and the house explodes for no reason. Rich says the grim reaper was using their bathroom.
      • Rich was literally jumping for joy when Jay told him that Cameron Mitchell is in the movie, only to find out he's in it for less than five minutes.
      • They're baffled by a car chase scene where the heroes drive their car under the trailer of a truck, and instead of the villains chasing them crashing into the trailer and it exploding, the trailer explodes on its own for no reason before the villains hit it and the suddenly-airborne villains fly into the explosion.
    • Alien Private Eye was written, directed and edited by a guy who just goes by Viktor, who also happens to be behind the show Early Edition. Weirdly enough, those are his only two credits. Jay points out how weird it is that the only two things he made are this obscure film called Alien Private Eye and then followed that up with a network television series that ran for several seasons.
      • The back of the box inspires little confidence in the film.
        Rich: "Non-stop action, gang wars, car chases and sexy love scenes are just some of the fun leading up to the final knockdown drag-em-out confrontation, where Lemro's true powers are revealed. But enuf' said, rent the tape and find out for yourself."
        Jay: Is that what it says?
        Rich: It says "enuf' said", well, it spells "enough" wrong, but it doesn't do "nuff" like Stan Lee, it throws an "e" in front of it, but it's still not spelled like "enough".
        Jay: But it does say "rent the tape and find out for yourself"?
        Rich: It says "enuf' said. Rent the tape and find out for yourself."
        Jay: So they didn't even have enough confidence in this film that anyone would ever wanna buy it. Like it's gonna end up on some shelf, "Just rent it, please!"
      • The villain of the movie has a picture of Adolf Hitler hanging in his office, who he apparently worships as a deity, calling upon him for help as if praying to a god. Jack points out that even though the villain worships Hitler, he still acknowledges that he's in hell.
      • The group tries to work out how the alien drug soma works, but none of them really have a grasp on it, and it's intercut with the scene where Lemro explains it to a woman, edited almost like a YTP.
        Lemro [edited]: Five times, you die. Five times-a couple hundred times, you die. One hundred percent, you die. After five times, you die. This drug feels almost as good as having die.
      • They also point out that the characters we actually see using the drug seem to be in absolute agony, and discuss the implications of what sex is like for Lemro.
      • The group is completely baffled by one of the villain's plans. Near the end of the film, they have Lemro's love interest, Renee, held hostage and at gunpoint in a standoff. Then a truck passes in front of them, which they were apparently anticipating, as they perform a hostage switching version of the Vehicle Vanish trope. They put Renee in their car and switch her out for a drug-addicted woman who looks similar, then shoot her, causing Lemro to think they shot Renee. Nobody is able to figure out why they didn't just shoot Renee, why they needed Renee alive, why they switched hostages, or how they were able to anticipate the truck that let them do this in the first place.
      • Right as Jay is describing the climactic fight between Lemro and Kilgore, Rich starts to space out as the sound gets muffled... and then, suddenly...
        Rich: (grabs head abruptly) OH MY GOD, WE FORGOT ABOUT THE PRIEST!
      • "The priest" in question is the one Kilgore encounters about halfway through the film, trying to get him to repent for his sins. This is the first and only time we see the priest, and we cut to this conversation mid-scene. And then Kilgore proceeds to spit acid onto the priest's face without warning from a skull tooth he has... which is the only reason why this scene is brought up, as Kilgore winds up swallowing it after Lemro punches him in the gut during the climax. To top it all off, as Jack says, Lemro never knew about the tooth, so as far he knows, he just killed Kilgore with one really hard punch.
  • Our DVD and Blu-ray Collection once again has Mike reading the titles in their collection in his Mr. Plinkett voice, often struggling or purposefully misnaming them.
    • Guru Mahaaguru becomes Gugu Maguguhagu.
    • "Ultimate Prey, where the green beret becomes the prey! Written by Dr. Seuss."
    • Due to a sticker blocking the title, Flight of Fury becomes Flight of Fuck.
    • Dragon Hunt becomes Dragon Cunt, causing Jay to laugh in the background.
    • "Ted Diabetes in Marine 2."
    • The Uncrucibles, due to the font, becomes The Unreadables.
    • "Richard Grieco in Final Paycheck."
    • "Rise of the Robots. A Herbert Midget film."
    • "2019: After the Fall of New York. Oh, thank God this isn't going to happen until next year, 2020: Texas Gladiators. Oh boy, we got a lot of time for this one, 2035."
    • "Barbie Star Light Adventure. Hey, it's sci-fi."
    • "Robot Overlords. Oh God, Ben Kingsley and Gillian Anderson? Did you have a couple weeks off or something!?"
    • "Legend of the Phantom Rider, starring Denise Crosby. Hey, I bet you're glad you left Star Trek: The Next Generation!"
    • When the cover for Dark Planet comes up, the title is completely obscured by stickers. "Um...yeah."
    • "The Sword of the Barbarians, hey, that's an axe, though."
    • "Freaky Farley. Look out, he'll show you his penis!"
    • Groupie has its title blocked by stickers. "Gro...Gro...Gr-...Groupon?"
    • "Head of the Family. Literally. That's great!"
    • Kingdom of the Spiders stars William Shatner, so he just reads it as Star Trek.
    • "Chupacabra vs. The Alamo. I wanna watch that! I'm sure it's shitty, but I wanna watch it."
    • "Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman. Fuck you." (Jay laughs)
    • "Hobgoblins. Hobogoblins!
    • "Demon Wind." (Fart)
    • "Satan's Black Wedding. Another Satan's Black Wedding. Guess he got a divorce."
    • "Day of the Animals. Grizzly! It's a Wurlem Gurgler fantastic fest!"
    • He reads aloud all copies of Pinata Survival Island as just Survival Island, realizes his mistake, and goes back and redoes the rest.
    • Alien 3000 becomes Andre 3000.
    • The cover of Mad Mutilator, made up of bits of torn up paper and the title written very small on one piece, just elicits an "Oh boy...", which is immediately followed by a film called Vidocq, which elicits another "Oh boy...", causing Mike and Jay to laugh. Darna Zaroori Hai shortly after gets an "Oh God."
    • Vampire Hunter Hank is presented by Taco Cart, which he reads as "Taco Bell", causing him and Jay to crack up.
    • "Destroyer and Anthony Perkins. Oh! Edge of Sanity.
    • Just like with Nukie last time, he reads out all 29 copies of Vampire Assassin.
    • "And lastly Booty Call."
  • Mike, Jay, and Rich do a Spotlight Episode on the Wisconsin-made movie Twister's Revenge. Mike says he wanted to call it a "Blacklight Episode" because they're exposing the film to the public, similar to how a blacklight exposes a stain in a seedy motel room.
    • They make fun of how they clearly shot the crowd of an actual monster truck show, then filmed the stands with 20 extras for a scene in the movie. And they're clearly not professionals, since people are clearly laughing at the scene itself, and a person that looks like a child starts smoking.
    • Jay explains what Wisconsin is to people not from around there:
      Jay: For anyone not familiar with Wisconsin, we should say that there's Milwaukee, there's Madison, and then there's the rest of Wisconsin, which is nothing but fields and farmhouses...
      Rich: Well, technically there's also a football stadium somewhere up north. note 
      Jay: That's true. In the middle of nowhere.
    • An edit shows the Tanglewood Bar as it looked in the film, and how it looks now from Google Maps, still standing but abandoned, with the caption "Everyone is dead..."
  • Wheel of the Worst #19 has Mac Culkin appearing yet again, claiming he's The Other Darrin for Rich Evans, who's been evicted from his home and is now sleeping on the floor like a homeless person. invoked
    Mike: Ohh. But that's where Rich sleeps. Did you kick him out?
    • One tape is from the mid-1980's called Massage With Siri, which instantly earns guffaws from Mike and Mac, noting that iPhone does have a vibrator app.
    • The panel calls the naturists in the "Naturist Lifestyle" video frauds, because a lot of them are either covering themselves, have the camera cut off below the shoulders, or are just wearing clothes.
      • Rich jokes that they tried to pull people in with the younger blonde woman that they clearly hired to strip and intro the video before showing that the vast majority of naturists are much older.
      • Mike says that he couldn't take the naturist video seriously, because to him he just sees all the nudist men as perverts wanting to ogle nude women.
      • The discussion somehow leads to Rich wondering what the Bat-Boy's genitals would look like; Mac suggests it'd be whatever a regular bat's looks like and says to Google "bat genitals." A moment later we hear Jack groaning from off camera in disgust, wondering why he actually looked it up.
    • Jack's Big "NO!" reaction to Orgasmic Birth, cringing in horror at the man breathing on a woman's neck as she gives birth, taking pleasure from it.
    • When they tried to watch another tape to compensate for not finishing Orgasmic Birth, they chose the workplace safety video that featured a crash test dummy puppet. Their discussion just turns into them listing all the ways the video dodged showing the dummy getting Amusing Injuries.
      • This leads Mike to do a segue into bringing up that when he and Rich made videos in high school, they would frequently have Rich beat up a doll Rich's nana gave him as a gift. The video ends with Rich making a new one of those videos, with the same kind of doll, trashing one of their sets in the process.
    • Mac's friend Shawn introduces himself, but right before he spins, Jack spins while flipping Shawn off. The spin lands, without cheating, on Hostage Officer Survival, the spiritual successor to Surviving Edged Weapons. Jack celebrates with a double Flipping the Bird while walking away.
      • The panel mentions that Hostage Officer Survival isn't as entertaining as Surviving Edged Weapons, mostly because hostage situations aren't as fun to watch as random stabbings. Rich theorizes that since the video gets more insane part of the way through, that it was the makers of the video fucking around with the remainder of their budget after they shot the parts the police department wanted.
    • As The Stinger for the video, Mac cuddles up with Rich in their makeshift bed on the floor, with Mac first as the little, then as the big spoon.
  • Black Spine Edition #3 opens with Mike and Jay playing an extremely tense version of Jenga where the tower is made of VHS tapes. Rather than putting the tapes they pull out on top of the tower, they are placed in separate piles and one of their many copies of ''Nukie'' takes their place. This takes up 14 minutes of the video, and results in two massive piles on both sides.
    • Eventually, the tower comes down, and the group winds up having to sit through all 22 of Jay's tapes... of which five are picked on the grounds that they are able to actually talk about them. That doesn't mean they picked the good ones...
      Jay: (to the camera) And these- just a reminder, these are the winners!
    • The first tape they watch is a blank with pro sports bloopers on it, but it comes with Unfortunate Implications since one of the clips is just two little people walking around with tennis gear on and no actual bloopers happening.
      Jay: That's not a blooper, that's just little people. Are they saying that little people are God's bloopers?
      Rich: (Laughs)
      Jay: It was just a shot of them standing there!
      Mike: They were little twins, and they're playing tennis, Jay.
      Jack: Yes, that's not a blooper!
      Jay: That's just their lives!
    • Rich gets impatient with the potty training video.
      Rich: Oh my God, I just wanna see a kid take a shit!
    • The group's reactions to California Big Hunks during the montage of Jay's stack of videos. Jack is aghast, Rich is unamused yet curious, Mike is completely stonefaced, and Jay seemes to almost be into it.
    • Venison Processing: The E-Z Way immediately begins with camcorder footage of a guy sticking a knife up the asshole of a deer carcass. They shut it off immediately.
      • This winds up becoming a Brick Joke during the Best of the Worst selection at the end: Rich attempts to make a case for Venison Processing, despite the fact that the tape isn't on the table.
    • The first tape deemed interesting enough for the table discussion is Chairobics, which is about a group of elderly people doing aerobics while sitting in chairs. It's handed off to Mike since he loves making fun of the elderly so much.
      Mike: When you teach the elderly to exercise, it's basically telling them to slightly move.
      Jack: And remember, when you're old, you can't move too much, because your bones are brittle and your muscles are deteriorating and your body is falling apart before your very eyes.
      Jay: And that's where the hilarity comes in.
      Rich: (Laughs)
      • The on-site doctor giving medical advice in the video is wearing a lab coat over what appears to be a black-and-white striped prison jumpsuit, leading to claims that she isn't a real doctor.
      • Rich says that Mike is someday going to pay for all of his elderly jokes, leading them to theorize that the man in the video with the oxygen tank is actually future Mike, since his oxygen tank look like a Gonk droid.
    • Riding Mower Safety begins as a pretty standard safety instructional video, but it takes a strange turn when a love ballad about lawnmowers starts playing.
    • Jack forces Jay to introduce California Big Hunks - and in the process, acknowledges the latter's fervent female following:
      Jack: I mean, I hate to play to stereotypes, but the people want it. Jay, can you please tell us about California Big Hunks?
      Jay: What's the stereotype? That I'm a California Big Hunk?
      Jack: That you like talking about buff guys in California —
      Mike: Talk about California Big Hunks!!
      Jack: TALK ABOUT MEN!!!
    • California Big Hunks is various male exotic dancers doing stripteases to music that Rich describes as "fart noises on a synthesizer", with each dancer getting more and more strange.
      • The first dancer is a California Highway Patrol officer, who apparently fantasizes about himself doing a striptease inside a bedroom.
      • The second dancer, Reno, is supposed to be a fisherman, but is wearing an outfit so strange they can't even tell what California stereotype he's supposed to be. The outfit include a torn up shirt with an image of a muscular torso on it, brown pants and furry boots, and he dances in the middle of a swamp, and wipes himself off with a dirty blanket after he's done.
      • The third dancer starts off as a normal cowboy, but then once his striptease starts, he looks like a figure skater wearing a cowboy themed outfit, and he dances in what looks like an empty hotel room.
      • The fourth dancer, Donny, is a graffiti artist who sees a picture of Michael Jackson hanging on a wall, then fantasizes about himself in a Michael Jackson style military suit stripping in what looks like the ruins of a 17th century castle. Cue Mike and Jack impersonating the hypothetical Corrupt Corporate Executive who coerced the poor dancer into being in such a bizarre segment.
      • After the Michael Jackson dancer was a Prince knock-off, which they fast-forwarded through. Rich admits that seeing them dance in fast motion is pretty funny.
      • The final dancer is a man who was stood up on a date with a woman, leading to him doing a striptease inside a locker room. This leads the group to question whether the fancy restaurant and the locker room are part of the same building.
      Rich: Maybe she didn't show up because he was taking her out to the gym cafeteria.
    • Yello Dyno: Can't Fool Me! is an anti stranger danger video starring a yellow dinosaur that sounds like Chris Rock.
      • The video has a song called "Tricky People", which Jay points out is essentially an upbeat song about perverts and child abduction.
      • It tries to both inform kids about the dangers of child molesters, but also be wacky and entertaining. The result is a serious case of Mood Whiplash that must be seen to be believed.
      Jay: The child predator is, like, peeking and the window and WHOOP, he slips in the garbage, and it's like they're trying to make it funny to appeal to kids, but it's still a child molester.
      Rich: Y'know, it's a video about, like, tell the kids "Be careful about the creepy adults who are going to take photos of you sexualized." And they do that by taking an actual girl and they film her sexualized in this fucking tape.
      Jay: They kept it tame enough. But the problem comes when you start adding, like, cartoon sound effects.
      Jack: Yes!
      Jay: Boing! Like, don't do that!
    • At the end of the video, Jay announces that it's time to pick the Best of the Worst. Out of everyone at the table, Jack is the most dumbfounded that they are doing this.
    • They unanimously decide to destroy both versions of Yello Dyno. Cut to Rich and Jay standing in front of a table, and Jay says they need to think of a clever way to destroy them. Before he can even finish his sentence, Rich drops a cinder block on both tapes and flips the table.
  • Best of the Worst: Hawk Jones, Winterbeast, and Roar
    • Macaulay Culkin is back, and during the opening description of the movies he's walking around without nobody noticing.
    • Rich and Mike both call him "Maculkin".
    • Hawk Jones is a Buddy Cop Show parody where the entire cast consists of children.
    Shawn: It wasn't well acted, and it didn't look pretty-
    Rich: Well they were five!
    Mack: Child actors can be excellent!
    Rich: (Laughs) You know what? You know what, I had forgotten. It slipped my mind that I'm sitting next to a famous child actor.
    Jay: I mean I know you're doing the cliches, but...let's pull back on this.
    • Rich, Mike and Mack all start talking about Star Trek. They're all in sync with each other and Shawn clearly bored and out of the loop.
    Rich: I wanna see a prequel that's like a science-fiction movie where a science experiment turns everyone into children. That'll explain how this world came to be. It's like that episode of Star Trek.
    Mack: Rascals!
    Mike: Rascals.
    Mack: I beat you to it.
    Shawn: Is Q responsible for that?
    Rich, Mike and Mack: No, it was a transporter accident.

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