George's reaction to Annie & Mitchell's threesome.
George and Mitchell's meltdown after they find out The Real Hustle isn't on.
"WHO WANTS SOME OF MY CHAIR!?"
The entirety of the "rescue" scene: Annie ineffectually trying to throw a phone at Seth (and not actually making it, due to its cord) as he chokes George, leading to George's sarcastic thanks; George commenting that the two of them are like "the world's gayest ninjas"; and the fact that George's brief takedown of Herrick has no triumphant leadup, just him sprinting in out of nowhere and hitting him with the chair.
this gets called back to in season 3 with a plant instead of a chair.
George again - "You smell like a Polo. Do you have a hole?"
George's reaction to seeing Annie taking care of the ghost baby.
George: Annie, this is a very serious question and I expect a very serious answer. Did you steal that baby from a supermarket trolley?
Annie's reaction is equally funny, when she hands the baby over to George and just stares in shock as it stops crying the instant George smiles at it.
Gilbert, Good good Gilbert.
Nina's reaction after having sex with a very enthusiastic George who runs out of the room as he's about to transform: (with a blissful expression) "Oh, you are a dead man.".
No doubt aided by the fact that George was already starting to transform a little when he grabs Nina in the first place. By the time he... is finished, he howls.
Nina: It's always the quiet ones.
Herrick's annoyance at Mitchell and George not fighting counts as one. Try and keep a straight face as he tells you what he was going to do at half time.
"Rule one of Vampire club: don't get caught - even Seth knew that and he used to point at planes"
Maybe it was just the tension of the moment, but the following:
George: We'll keep you in the attic [so you don't kill anyone]. Mitchell: Our success rate is not a 100% there."
George's meeting with doggers and subsequent awkwardness, and the entire chain of events following on from it, including him getting arrested.
George freaking out when there's a knock at the front door at the same time that Annie's door to the afterlife appears. "THERE'S SOMEONE BEHIND THE DOOR! THERE'S SOMEONE BEHIND THE DOOR!"
George getting up in the middle of the night to relieve himself, only to be repeatedly waylaid by his roommates and their problems.
"I only got up for a pee!"
From the same episode, Annie giving zombie girl Sasha a makeovernote Hint: it involves spackling over the holes in her face to the tune of Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman". Black Humor at it's finest.
The entire sequence where a very drunk, very angry Sasha follows Annie to the house.
Mitchell: We've gotta let her in. Annie and George: (in unison) What?! Mitchell: We've got a shouting, pissed corpse on our doorstep! George: Right. And you want a shouting, pissed corpse inside?
"Come on George, shake a leg. It's Thursday and you know that means. Fajitas!"
McNair telling Tom he shouldn't see the film The Wolfman as it makes light of their condition. Basically, he called a horror film racist (supernaturalist?).
Episode 3 of series 4 has a couple of these including:
Hal and Tom at work.
Hal: Kill me now. I mean it. You can tell Annie I attacked you.
Also:
Hal: Are you sure you haven't killed me already? Because this feels a lot like hell.
The "Second Hand Shag".
Hal and Tom look as if they're going to follow their predecessors by watching The Real Hustle.. and then promptly switch over to Antiques Roadshow and start estimating the values.
Hal singing while doing the washing up, complete with marigolds. Not only Adorkable, but his and Annie's expressions are priceless when she walks in on him.
Annie's introduction in the Pilot always cracks me up:
George: That was you, moving our things? Nailing up that chicken, rearranging my books. Mitchell: Uh.. No, actually that last one was me... Come on, George, they were alphabetized... It's like living with Rain Man.
Tom taking Hal's mind off stressing about their double date by taking advantage of his OCD and pulling something out of his pocket:
Tom: Look Hal, a matchbox where some of the matches are the wrong way round. (Hal takes the box with a look of glee)
Anything which plays on Hal's OCD, to be honest.
Hal: Look! I have arranged the eggs in order of size!"
Anything said by action-movie obsessed vampire Kane, including his last words after being staked in the heart.
Kane: Something about heartburn... heartbreak... shit.
In a dark way, Hal's command to Cutler in 1950 after sweet-talking his wife and calling her an angel, the moment she walks out of the room:
To me just generally the way Tom is always so polite to Hal. Even when he and Alex have Hal strapped to a chair and he's screaming obscenities at them, calling them a "hound" and a "bitch". It's just something about his voice when he goes "Don't be rude, Hal".
Tom's response to Hal asking him why he has the materials for bomb-making in the house and cafe.
Tom: Mcnair told me to be polite and kind and always have the means to make to a bomb.
"If you see a big scary man with a burn on his arm, run!"
Tom and Hal's attempts to chat up Michaela.
Tom: I like your tights, you look like a bee and I like bees.
Tom finding out George has not given the baby a name yet.
"Even McNair gave me a name, and he ate me parents."
The "Alex's Kicked the Bucket List" minisodes are adorable and hilarious. Her ghostly goals include kissing Robert Downey, Jr (Hal: "You are not kissing anyone without their permission!"), getting revenge on Rook (a plan which would have involved Tom stealing a cow, had it not been for Hal's intervention) and getting wooed in Paris (the closest they get to that is Tom taking her on a dinner date while Hal serves as their waiter, while dressed as a stereotypical Frenchman. He is not amused).
Alex justifying why she let the new vampire Crumb go from the cellar, who Hal had tied up there.
Alex: How was I supposed to know he was dangerous? Hal: You're right, I should have left you a clue, like tying him to a fucking radiator.
Tom mocking Hal's accent to provoke him in the Employee of the Month competition, then spinning his cleaning spray like a gunslinger while Ennio Morricone's western compositions play.
Tom: You know when I transform, I should drag you around on a piece of string in the woods. (Pause) I'm saying you're a chicken." Hal: Yes, thank you I got the analogy.
Alex's exasperation over having to look after the ghost of a bratty Victorian child, especially when he gets Tom to fuss over him, even though the kid is obviously faking.
Alex: He's been dead for two hundred years! I don't think he can get much more poorly than that!
There's also her reminiscing about how her little brother would use the internet to look up illnesses he could pretend to have, so he could skip school. Because he tended to not bother looking up what the sicknesses actually were, he once tried to convince Alex he was going through menopause.
Alex's attempts to discipline Oliver:
Alex: (attempting to drag a struggling Oliver to the "naughty step") He's a freak! He can't play football, he thinks television is vulgar, and don't even get me started on the racism!"
Alex finally getting to play the piano, where she brightly declares that she's not lost her touch at all, despite being painfully out of tune. The looks on Hal and Tom's face says it all.
Alex: Just like falling off a log! Tom: Sounds like it.
Then, there's the aftermath. The manager fires Tom, but wants to keep Hal because she's smitten with him. Hal angrily gives a moving speech in Tom's defense, saying that Tom is a fine employee, that she shouldn't pass over a hard worker in favor of someone attractive, and that if Tom's fired, Hal's quitting as well. Cue the next scene of them both leaving the hotel.
Tom: Well that was stupid. Now neither of us have jobs. Hal: I was looking for "Thank you".
Captain Hatch's reaction to two werewolves walking into the room.
Hatch: It's like Battersea Dogs' Home in here.
Crumb dressing up like Hal as part of his rehabilitation.
When the trio reject Captain Hatch's offer of an imaginary 'perfect world', he doesn't react with rage, or give them a "Reason You Suck" Speech. Instead, he uses this immortal line:
