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Funny / Beavis and Butt-Head Do America

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  • The Title Sequence casts the boys in a Starsky & Hutch-esque 1970s cop show, where they score with chicks, kick ass and escape big explosions. The very first image after the sequence ends? The boys digging through the garbage looking for a TV.
  • Muddy drops the boys off at the airport to go do the job on Dallas. Butt-Head can't believe they're going to "get paid to score." He's Comically Missing the Point, and then Beavis misses it even further:
    Beavis: Yeah! Heh heh heh! And then we're gonna get a big screen TV! Heh heh. With two remotes!
  • This little exchange between Flemming and Bork:
    Agent Flemming: Did you give him a cavity search?
    Agent Bork: Uh, the witness?
    • This actually becomes a running gag, Agent Flemming orders cavity searches for nearly every person they interrogate during their investigation, including the elderly passengers on the America Tours bus, Mr. Anderson and Butt-Head. This culminates in a brilliant punch line after Butt-Head's cavity search:
    Butt-head: Uhhh... did I just score?
  • The exchange between Butt-Head & a pilot after Butt-Head falls into the cockpit while the plane is plummeting.
    Pilot: Get the hell out of the cockpit!
    Butt-Head: Huh huh... you said--
    Pilot: NOW!!! (pulls Butt-Head out of the way)
  • This exchange.
    Agent Bork: You know that guy whose camper they were whacking off in?
    Agent Fleming: Bork! You are a federal agent. You represent the United States government. Never end a sentence with a preposition!
    Bork: Oh, uh... You know that guy in whose camper they... I mean, that guy off in whose camper they were whacking?
  • The Godzilla-themed opening sequence. The visual of Beavis breathing fire at his enemies is just amazing.
    • You can almost hear the soldiers screaming from the fire, which Beavis just respond by muttering "Butthole".
  • Butt-Head is not exactly Sherlock when it comes to gathering evidence. After observing broken glass, footprints leading up to where the TV was, and the open door, his brilliant deduction?? "This sucks."
  • The road trip montage on the America Tour bus, which includes such gems as Beavis and Butt-Head being more interested in a donkey taking a crap than the Grand Canyon, them laughing at various dirty-sounding road signs, such as "Butte" and "Big Piney" and "Bald Knob", and headbanging to the montage music.
    Beavis: (reading a sign saying Meeteetse) Me tee pee.
  • When they arrive at Yellowstone National Park, the duo are absolutely mesmerized by the motion controlled flushing for the park urinals, to the point where they stay in there so long that the bus leaves without them.
    • Funnier when you consider that moments before, they were dismissing the Old Faithful geyser.
    Ranger: There are over 200 active geysers in Yellowstone Park. Old Faithful here is one of the largest. During an eruption, the geyser can reach as high as 200 feet.
    Butt-head: So?
    Ranger: The - the geyser shoots out over 12,000 gallons in a single eruption.
    Beavis: That's not that much, really.
  • When the tour bus arrives at the Hoover Dam:
    Butt-head: We're in Washington.
    Beavis: Yea, we're gonna score now.
    Old lady: Actually sons, we're at the Hoover Dam.
    Beavis: Uh, no. We're in WASHINGTON!
    Butt-head: WE'RE GONNA SCORE NOW!
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  • When the two end up on a bus full of nuns on their way to New Mexico, Beavis is taken in by having the Bible read to him, since "there's this talking snake, and a naked chick, and a dude who puts a leaf on his schlong".
  • The boys Comically Missing the Point when Muddy is getting ready to shoot them.
    Muddy: Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this. Any Last Words?
    Butt-head: Uh, I have a couple. Butt cheeks.
    Beavis: Yeah, um, and boobs! I just wanna say that again. Boobs!
  • Mr. Van Dressen tells the boys, currently trying to steal the school's TV from the A/V room, "We don't need TV to entertain us."
    Butt-head: He said "anus".
    Beavis: Enter-tain us, anus, yeah!
    Mr. Van Dressen: Have you guys heard a word I've said?
    Butt-head: Uh, yeah. Anus.
    • In the DVD Commentary, Mike Judge cited that as the line he was proudest of.
      Mike Judge: I remember when I was writing the script, I wrote that right there and thought, "okay, I've done a good day's work."
    • The two promptly smash the TV on the pavement outside by accident. Their response to Principal McVicker coming out and getting upset is just perfect.
      Butt-Head (blithely walking away): Uhhh... that belongs to the school.
  • The deleted scene of Beavis using the Declaration Of Independence as toilet paper. It's even more hilarious that there was a security guard standing right there, fast asleep, who didn't notice Beavis smashing the display case with a flagpole and stealing the document until the alarm sounded.
  • The montage of the two arriving at the luxurious hotel and casino they're staying at and spending most of it staring and giggling at a topless Egyptian statue, to the tunes of Red Hot Chili Peppers' cover of "Love Rollercoaster" by The Ohio Players.
  • Cornholio!Beavis standing in front of a photo/painting of Richard Nixon.
  • Bill Clinton giving a touching, grateful speech to the two after they foiled Muddy's and Dallas's plot. Their reaction?
    Butt-Head: "Huhuh, he said extend."
  • Beavis and Butt-Head fighting over who "gets to go first" with Dallas. It's even more hilarious that Beavis doesn't have any pants on during the brawl.
    Beavis: You always go first!
    Butt-Head: Damn it, Beavis, we've never done this before!
  • When the two are about to die of dehydration in the desert, they spend what may be their last few moments alive... giggling at two vultures having sex.
    • Later in that same scene, Beavis has his Mushroom Samba from eating a peyote cactus.
  • Beavis thinks Seattle is in Washington, D.C. and suggests that they go see Hole after they score.
  • Their escape from Muddy's car, while it's moving on the interstate. This involves Butt-Head pushing Beavis out of the trunk and then falling out himself when the car hits a road bump. They end up causing a huge car pileup, including crashing Tom Anderson's trailer.
  • Beavis/Cornholio having A Date with Rosie Palms in Anderson's camper, complete with music that makes the scene ten times funnier.note  And Anderson's reaction when he finds Beavis.
    Anderson: "Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't want to see that! Dammit, get out of here! And if I ever catch you whackin' in here again, I'm gonna hog-tie you!"
    • Not to mention Beavis's reaction to getting caught:
    Beavis: " Heh-heh, heh-heh. How's it going?" *continues whacking*
    • Before going to "whack off," there's a bit where Beavis looks at the photo of Dallas and Anderson's camper. The film cuts between the two objects repeatedly until suddenly cutting to the Washington Monument, accompanied by Beavis/Cornholio saying "Boi-oi-oing!"
  • When Fleming demands that Beavis show him the unit, he snaps out of Cornholio mode just long enough to say "Why does everyone want to see my schlong?"
  • Butt-Head makes a pass at Chelsea Clinton...and promptly gets thrown out the window.
  • When touring the Hoover Dam:
    Beavis: Uh, is this a God dam?
    • Mike Judge says that he's amazed how many people tell him that was one of the funniest jokes in the movie.
  • Beavis's "We're Never Gonna Score" scene manages to be both sad and hilarious at the same time. Especially this part:
    Beavis: Look at this guy - he's old, but he's probably scored a million times!
    Old Guy: (proudly) Oh yea!
  • Butt-Head playing with a car jack while in the trunk of Muddy's car.
    Butt-Head: Huh huh, check it out Beavis. I'm jacking off.
  • Cornholio in the Oval Office. On the Red Phone. Hilarity Ensues.
    • More specifically, when the soldier who answers the phone, likely expecting orders from the President, is understandably confused to hear some lunatic introducing himself as "Cornholio" and rambling incoherently about his bunghole. About five seconds into this "conversation," said soldier looks directly at the camera with a "You have GOT to be kidding me" look on his face.
    Soldier: Sir, we're awaiting your final orders.
    Beavis/Cornholio: I order you to surrender your TP!
  • The duo are walking through the desert.
    Butt-Head: This desert is stupid. They need to put a drinking fountain out here.
    Beavis: Yeah, yeah. Or, like a 7-Eleven or something.
    • "The sun sucks."
  • The boys wind up at a Catholic church and go into the confessionals, thinking they're porta-potties. That's not the best part: they stay in there long enough to take confessions from random people.
    Random dude: Forgive me, Father, I've sinned. I, uh... I slept with a woman, and-
    Butt-Head: Really? Uh huh huh. Was she naked? Uh huh huh huh.
    Random dude: Uh... yes, Father. Please forgive me, I-
    Butt-Head: Cool! Uh huh huh. Could you, like, see her boobs??
    [over in the other booth]
    Older random dude: ...uh, I'm sorry. How many hail marys?
    Beavis: A thousand!! Heh heh heh! And I want you to hit yourself! Right now! Heh.
    Older random dude: Uh, now?
    Beavis: Yeah! DO IT! Heh heh.
    Older random dude: [punch] Ow!
    Beavis: Yeah yeah yeah, harder!!!
    Older random dude: [punch] Ow!!!
    Beavis: Do it again!!!
    Older random dude: [whack] AGH!!!
    • Afterwards, they both get struck with a Bolt of Divine Retribution...and don't even notice.
    • Beavis telling the older guy to hit himself is laced with Fridge Brilliance as it's kind of a riff on self-flagellation, practiced by some religions.
    • After the nuns finally have enough of them and leave them behind in the Petrified Forest in Arizona, both Beavis and Butthead realize they've gotten very sidetracked, and ask the next guy they see for the direction to Washington.
    Passersby: Uh yeah, about 2000 miles that way! *gestures in a general northeastern direction*
  • One scene has Agent Fleming giving a dramatic speech about how fragile the X-5 unit is and how if it's broken or damaged, it'll wipe out huge swathes of America. The very next cut shows the X-5 unit sewn into the seat of Beavis's pants, with Butthead kicking it repeatedly.
  • Master Station Control = "Masturbation?"


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