The Original Series
- The original warning disclaimer for Beavis and Butt-Head:"Beavis and Butt-Head are not real. They are stupid cartoon people completely made up by this Texas guy whom we hardly even know. Beavis and Butt-Head are dumb, crude, thoughtless, ugly, sexist, self-destructive fools. But for some reason, the little wienerheads make us laugh."
- Even better, the disclaimer is apparently voiced by Mike Judge himself doing his Hank Hill impersonation.
- The second disclaimer despite its Serious Message can also get a laugh too, with it's fairly upbeat banjo tune playing in the background Note :
- Even better, the disclaimer is apparently voiced by Mike Judge himself doing his Hank Hill impersonation.
- Anything featuring Beavis as The Great Cornholio, including the episode where Beavis as The Great Cornholio ends up being mistaken for an illegal immigrant and taken back to Mexico.
- Beavis is already pretty funny. But some of the show's most hilarious moments come from putting him in a position of authority. Take "Huh, huh, humbug" for example:
- Beavis: "Damn it, McVicker! Quit screwing around! Heh heh. 'Cuz I'll take you out back, and I'll kick your ass if you don'nut shape up!"McVicker: "Uuuuuh uh, but I wasn't doing anything!"Beavis: "Yeah!? Yeah?! Well I don't care! 'Cuz "not doing anything" doesn't pay the bills! Bunghole!"
- And laterBeavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know it's like, we'd all like to go home! Hell I'd like to go home and spank my monkey! In fact, heh, that's a pretty good idea! And since I'm the manager, I can do whatever I want! And you guys have to stay here and work all night!
- And again in "The Future Of Beavis and Butt-Head", where he's imagining himself in the military."Beavis: All right men, the way I see it, we strike at dawn. 'Cuz um, they'll still be in bed with morning wood. And I want full air support! I want you guys to shoot people! And I want tanks, some firethrowers and I want explosions over here and I want planes going "kehkehkehkehkeh"! Yaaaaaah! This is gonna be cool!"
- The derangedly animated faces that Beavis and Butt-Head sometimes made are downright hilarious.
- "I AM STYRCULIUS! The Roman god of feces! Prepare to feel my wrath!" (squish-splat)
- From "Sign Here" when the boys go door to door to collect signatures to stop furrying:[Their first stop, a man opens the door.]Butt-Head: Wanna save some minks' butts?[The man slams the door. Next house, a fat lady opens the door.]Beavis: You like animals?Fat Lady: (her dog barking) What? WHAT?? Just a minute! (to her dog, beating it) SHUT UP OR I'LL HAVE YOU PUT TO SLEEP! (comes back to the door) Now, what was that?Butt-head: Uhh, nevermind.[Fat lady slams the door.]
Mr. Van Driessen: Beavis and Butt-Head, couldn't you boys get each sister to sign individually?(Beavis and Butt-Head bro fist while a guitar riff plays)
- Because they couldn't get any signatures (the closest they got was a drunk, and only because they claimed they were giving away free beer), they opted to make up dirty names such as "Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters."
- Beavis begging for Butt-Head to change the channel because he dislikes the music video for "I Want A New Drug".
- From "And Baby Makes, Uh, Three":Butt-Head: And so, it is with utmost regret that must inform you that our (sugar sack) baby was stolen by Gypsies in the night.Beavis: Yeah, heh heh. Sorry 'bout that.
- In "Balloon", they bought balloons after seeing a public service announcement about dolphins inhaling balloons and dying, then decided to inhale the helium.Beavis: (voice is higher) I don't feel nothin'.Butt-Head: (voice is also higher) What's wrong with your voice, dude?Beavis: What's wrong with yours?Butt-Head: Oh no...Both: WE'RE NEUUUUTERRRRRRRRRED!
Butt-Head: You wanna make out with a dude.(Beavis's jaw drops, oddly enough still smiling)Butt-Head: He's got a nice butt, huh, Beavis?Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head!Butt-Head: Ooh, he's sexy, huh Beavis?Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head! (channel changes a few seconds later)
- During the music video for RuPaul's "Supermodel", Beavis finds RuPaul attractive and said he'd make out with her. Butt-Head points out that RuPaul is actually a man, then teases him.
Announcer: Attention! Attention! Someone has polluted the water. There is a danger to the lives of the young sharks. Evacuate the pool immediately.
- Beavis floats away while hanging onto the balloons. Butt-Head tries to pop them with a slingshot, but hits Beavis's nuts by mistake, and falls into a pool of hammerhead sharks. Beavis pees in the water.
Butt-Head: (headbanging) YES!
Butt-Head: Hey Beavis, can I ask you a personal question?
Beavis: Go for it, dude.
Butt-Head: Did you pee in the pool cause you were smart, or cause you were scared?
Beavis: No dude, cause it feels good.
Butt-Head: Oh yeah. That's why I always pee in the pool.
- There is the duo practicing mud wrestling by forming a mud pit in their front yard, putting on bikini tops, and beating each other with baseball bats that have a boxing glove on the end.Butt-Head: (putting his hand in his pants) Hey, spank your monkey all you want but keep your hands off of mine!
- Daria sees them covered in dripping mud, and they start chanting "Dia-REEA, cha cha cha!"
- Doubling as hilarious in hindsight for anyone familiar with Daria in her own series, in "Scientific Stuff" Daria says "But Ms. Dickie! Beavis and Butt-Head are complete imbeciles." Beavis responds with "Yeah, she's right".
- The entirety of the episode "No Laughing", especially when they come running out of the school and release all their pent-up laughter due to Coach Buzzcut taking full advantage of the situation:Coach Buzzcut: If they do laugh, they'll be expelled, and they'll have to go to Hope High School where they'll get their asses kicked on a daily basis by all the other delinquents. Well, I was real glad to hear that, because this is sex education week. That's right, sex-ed week! We're gonna be talkin' about the PENIS! We'll be talkin' about the VAGINA! Do you think that's funny, Butt-head? Do you find it amusing that we'll be talkin' about the TESTICLES? Yes, we're also gonna be talkin' about VENEREAL DISEASE! SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! THE SCROTUM! THE CLITORIS! And we will definitely be spending a lot of time talking about MASTURBATION!
Spanish teacher: Señor Butt-head, como es Juan?Butt-Head: Uhmmm....burritos?Spanish Teacher: No no no, Como es juan? Como es juan?Butt-Head: Uhmmm...Guacamole.Spanish Teacher: No no no, señor Beavis, Como es juan?Beavis: Uhhh....Spaghetti.Butt-Head: Spaghetti?Spanish Teacher: (Dropping the Spanish accent) Spaghetti!? That's Italian, you moron! (Tosses poster in frustration) Damn it! You idiots have been in this class for almost a whole school year, and the only Spanish you know is what you learned from Taco Bell! And Beavis can't even get THAT right! I'm gonna give you little bastards just ten seconds to come up with a sentence in Spanish and if you can't, you're both going to the principal's office and you're both flunking! Well, I'm waiting.Butt-Head: Uhhh... ("Spanish" gibberish) Rico Suave.Spanish Teacher: Principal's office, now!Beavis: Uhhh...Taco Supreme.Spanish Teacher: Get out, now!
- And also from "No Laughing"..
- This line.McVicker: Mr. Sherman, your history teacher, says he's completely giving up on trying to teach your class about The Gay '90s. (Beavis and Butt-Head laugh harder.)
- "Mexican Death Sauce". The duo's reaction to it is on the Fire-Breathing Diner page.The reason
[Butt-Head pulls Beavis's chair]
- Also from "Way Down Mexico Way", the duo swallowing two condoms filled with drugs to smuggle across the border for their friend Dave... but they forget to tie them up before swallowing. This results in the two getting a massive drug trip right when they're being questioned by the border patrol.
- The border patrol assuming that Beavis and Butt-Head are Americans because a Mexican would know what the capitol of Texas is and actually be concerned that they're being interrogated by border patrol over their citizenship.
Butt-Head: (falls down too) No way!
Border patrol officer: God bless America.
Butt-Head: Mexico sucks!
- The end where Beavis and Butt-Head are soaking their tired feet (because Dave made them walk home from the border) and contemplating sticking one of the illegal fireworks up Dave's butt.
- The chase scene from "Beware of The Butt". Beavis and Butt-Head are moving quite slow while the same woman they took an embarrassing photograph of charges right at them. She hangs them naked from the waist down to one of the signs when she catches them. Then there's the slasher movie that their watching...Beavis and Butt-Head: YYYYYEEEEES!!
- "Hello, look at our butts."
- The chase scene from "Bedpans & Broomsticks".
- In "Lawn & Garden", the duo are flipping through channels that are showing commercials for injury hotlines which encourages Butt-Head to call them:Butt-Head: I've been injured.Injury hotline operator: You have?Butt-Head: Yeah. I've got a big crack in my butt.
- In "Customers Suck":Mr. Stevenson: I'm trying to ask a very simple question. Are your shakes made from shake mix or from ice cream and milk?
Butt-Head: Uhh... We have vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry.
Mr. Stevenson: Forget it! Forget it! God, can you idiots answer a simple question? I'll go somewhere else. (talks away, muttering) God, morons! Jeez, a couple of imbeciles...
Butt-Head: Let's go break something.
- During the episode "Home Improvement" the duo watch the Biz Markie video for "Just a Friend". Butt-Head sings the refrain of the song loudly and off-key. After he finishes, Beavis then screams the refrain.
- Coach Buzzcut: Shut up or I will kill you! Do you understand? Shut up or I will physically kill you!
- "Plate Frisbee": "Uh-oh! Looks like I'm gonna crash! ....Yup!". Such a shame that the version of this episode on the Mike Judge collection DVDs had that scene cut.
- Butt-Head riffing to Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" while whacking himself on the head with said plate.
- The plate surviving an incredible amount of punishment, including getting hit with a piledriver and being part of a tanker truck crash... only for it to crack into pieces when Stewart picks it up and cleans it off.
- The first Christmas special, in which the boys alternate between watching a televised Yule log and watching music videos that fit the theme, has a great segment in which they recount the plot of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory in their own unique way (accidentally crossing it over with The Wizard of Oz for starters).
- While watching a Frank Zappa video, You Are What You Is, they hate it so they change the channel. On the new channel, they come across a video for "Animals" by The Europeans that they hate so much, they go back to the Zappa video.
- But not before counting how many ways that other video sucked.
- On the episode, "Tornado", at the beginning of the episode, watch the Barney Captain Ersatz from 0:30. Double points for the kids cheering.note Not Barney: Aah! I'm burning! Kids help, this sucks!Butt-head: Cool!Beavis: Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
- Later in the same episode, when Butt-Head is thinking of what to say to 2 women at a trailer park during a twister, a flying angel statue hits Butt-Head in the head. Beavis catches this same statue the instant it strikes.
- The episode where David Van Dreissen takes Beavis, Butt-Head, and Stewart out on a camping trip: The part where Mr. Van Dreissen sings this song called "Men Have Feelings Too" and gets attacked by a bear after Beavis and Butt-Head comment on how bad the song sucked.
Van Dreissen: Stick it in the hole, Stuart!
- The entire segment on Van Dreissen instructing Stuart on how to set up a tent using the most unfortunate wording possible for every single step. Bevis and Butt-Head (who are taking a crap in the bushes at the moment) keep laughing harder as this continues.
- Beavis and Butt-Head staring silently in horror and disgust when watching the music video for Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" before changing the channel. They had the same reaction to Milli Vanilli's "Baby Don't Forget My Number."
- Practically the entire episode known as "Closing Time" could go here, but it had plenty of parts where it would get particularly funny, such as the 3 times where they scream in excitement similarly to how they did in the earliest episodes, the part where they throw food into the ceiling fan, and the Air Guitar solo that they do while the health inspector checks the restaurant. Not to mention the duo feeding the health inspector deep fried nightcrawlers that they tell him is Burger Worlds "seasoned curly fries".
- The beginning of "Car Wash" had the duo heckling an Expy of Jeopardy before...Beavis: Uhh, what's a shower?Butt-Head: (surprised at Beavis) Dude, if you have to ask, you'll never know!
- Beavis grabbing his crotch, screaming "MY LIVER! MY LIVER!".
- "Ball Breakers", with Beavis on one of the bowling ball returners, just as Butt-Head rolls a ball down the lane...
Butt-Head: Dude, you should start wearing a cup.
- From the same episode, Beavis and Butt-Head's increasingly violent attempts at breaking the ball to see if there's plutonium in the center, which results in Beavis getting two more Groin Attacks. One when they stuff it full of fire crackers, and it falls to the side and launches into Beavis crotch like a cannonball when they go off, and the second when they fill it with firecrackers again and throw it off the roof. This time it does explode, but the shrapnel hits Beavis right in the family jewels.
- The beginning of "Citizen Butt-Head."McVicker: B-Beavis and Butt-Head must not be allowed within three miles of the president!
Female Faculty Member: Maybe we could just kill them?
Male Faculty Member: That would be cool.
(Everyone in the room starts laughing just like Beavis and Butt-Head).
Butt-Head: Principal McDicker gave us this pass cause we're so cool.Beavis: Heh. You guys can touch it for a quarter. Heh heh.Butt-Head: He means the pass. Uh huh huh huh.
- Beavis & Butt-Head get a day pass from school so they won't be on campus when the President is there. Typically, they don't take the hint, and instead go around campus all day to show off their pass just to make everyone jealous. Leading to this:
Beavis: Use the chokehold! Use the chokehold! Kick him! Kick him!!! Heh heh heh.Butt-Head: Score one for the Secret Cervix! Uh huh huh.
- McVickers Oh, Crap! reaction when he realizes Beavis and Butt-Head has been admitted to the Q&A with the President in the school gym. He runs across campus screaming like a lunatic, and when he bursts into the gym, making a beeline for Beavis and Butt-Head, the Secret Service tackles him and beats him up.
- In "Couch Fishing," the duo manage to send an old woman flying into their house using a box of prunes as bait, but not without Butt-Head tricking Beavis into inhaling old prune box fumes first.
Old woman: Hello? What happened to my spectacles?
- "That fish just ate his butt." "[Stewart] tried to bite Beavis's butt."
- The old woman is searching for his spectacles, unaware she has the raccoon the duo coach-fisher earlier around his neck.
Butt-Head: Uhh, your testicles?
- In "Sperm Bank":
Doctor: You kids are gonna pay for those!Butt-Head: No problem, dude. Do you want cash, or should we just go spank the monkey again?
- The boys turning bright red as they struggle (and laugh) to ask the sexy nurse at the desk what they're here for.
- When Beavis was asked for his container, he didn't realize he was even supposed to use a container. Also, when the doctor catches them juggling and breaking jars, we get this exchange:
- Despite it being the most controversial episode in the series "Comedians" has this moment.Butt-Head: Uh, whats green and red and goes 100 miles an hour?Butt-Head: Uh huh huh, a frog in a blender.
- In "Young, Gifted and Crude", a student named Martin is conducting an experiment with a computer program to try and raise his intelligence. Beavis accidentally unplugs the computer when he trips on the extension cord. As a result, the experiment backfires and Martin is reduced to a blithering idiot.Martin: Uh hu hu. The capital of France is Jupiter. One plus one is 37. Carry on my wayward son. That was cool! Uh hu hu.
- The scene in "Cow Tipping" where the two mistake a horse for a cow and attempt to milk it by constantly pulling its tail. It proceeds to buck the both of them right in the crotch.
- They think the horse was a deer.
- "Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-Q-Z-M."
- Beavis screams that he has to pee while trapped under the cow.
- From the episode in which Beavis and Butt-Head learn how to drive:(B&B are watching a video; a drivers makes a hand signal while a crossing guard is on duty)Coach Buzzcut: SHHUUUT UP!!!!!!
Coach Buzzcutt: Waiting for a playful pat on the butt?!
- The Drivers Ed class requires birth certificate and parental permission. Butt-Head brings his birth certificate and the permission slip at least, even though "someone" has burned out the date of birth on his certificate and messily scribbled in "1975", and the permission signature is clearly forged. Beavis however, just brings two torn up pieces of paper, one of which has the word "Byrth Certyfikat" crudely scribbled on it, the other with the word "Permusion Slep" written on it that says "Yeah". And Buzzcut STILL lets both of them in.
- "Trouble Urinating": Well for one, the concept involves Beavis and Butt-Head forgetting how to urinate.Coach Buzzcut: Step one: unzip your pants! And one, unzip your pants! Step two: take out your penises!Beavis: Two's my favorite!
- "Hey Beavis, we're, like, in school holding our wieners."
- Before that, when the duo are sent to the principal's office after asking—in class that they forgot how to drain the lizard:McVicker: You forgot?! Uhhh, How do forget something like that?! It's simple! You just...uhhh...and then you...uhhh...Beavis: Whoa! McVicker forgot, too!
- In the end, the two pee in a bush while each holds one of their legs up like a dog. Later, a stray dog appears and pee on the same bush.
- This exchange during the "'Heart-Shaped Box'" video:Beavis: Whoa, check it out, that room is cool! I think that's Kurt Cobain's bedroom! I'm gonna get my room set up like that, with all the lit-up stars and stuff, and like, it's gonna be cool.
Butt-Head: No you're not. You're never gonna get your room fixed up like that, and you're never gonna score.
Beavis: Shut up!
Butt-Head: You're gonna sit around for the rest of your life, spanking your monkey.
- While watching TV, a duet between Elton John and RuPaul comes on, which prompts Butt-Head to say "That's that dude who'd, like, rather be a girl." Barely missing a beat, Beavis follows up with "What's that chick doing with him?"
- Hilarity Ensues in "Pool Toys", when the duo drives Tom's bulldozer into a pit of cement. Even more Hilarity Ensues when Butt-Head drives the bulldozer back into the pit right after Beavis pushes it out. Also the quote that Butt-Head says after cutting open several cement bags with a chainsaw.Butt-Head: You've gotta have the right tools for the job, Beavis.
Anderson: Where's that damn hippie clerk?
- Not to mention that they stay in there so long that the cement hardens and they get stuck. They're waiting for Tom Anderson to come back and rescue them but he's still trapped in the Home Depot where he got lost earlier in the episode looking for roof tiles. The episode ends him him walking passed it, as it's all the way above the aisle.
- In "Patients Patients", Beavis with glasses.Beavis: Goofus is cool.
- This needs to be elaborated on. The eye doctor giving Beavis the exam gives him ridiculously strong glasses because she doesn't realize that the reason Beavis can't read the eye chart isn't because he can't see it, but because he's too stupid to read it.
- Beavis mistaking the eye doctor's phoropter for a View-Master.
- Butt-head getting his jaws wired shut by his dentist as petty revenge for Butt-Head's childish refusal against letting the dentist properly check his teeth, which Butt-Head apparently does at every appointment.
- Also the way Butt-Head screams when the dentist barely even put the scraper on his teeth.
- The dentist snidely offers Butt-Head a lollipop before "remembering" his teeth are wired shut
- The part in "Pumping Iron", where they check out the rear end of a "woman"... only for said "woman" to turn around and reveal that they were checking out a dude.
- Even funnier is when they decide to repeatedly launch themselves at the wall with a treadmill. Then the buff dude Butt-Head was supposed to be spotting catches them...
- Before either of those two scenes is the one where they meet the woman at the front desk about getting a free trial membership. Hilarity Ensues when she mentions some of the different workouts.
- "Sports drinks have nutrients."
- "I dissinsected it."
- This dialogue as the (supposedly) rabid dog growls at them.
Beavis: He-he, stupid dogs.
Butt-Head: Hey Beavis, I heard if you don't act scared, it won't attack you.
Beavis: How do you do that?
[The dog mauls at Beavis's leg while Butt-Head just stands there laughing.]
- The boys watching the video for Devo's "Whip It." Pretty much the whole thing.
- Extra points for Beavis believing the hats (the "Energy Domes") can "protect you from harmful rays," which is actually really close to how Devo themselves explained them.
- The first episode that features Cornholio. Beavis raids the Stevenson's candy stash, and shows up to school in full sugar rush mode. Once the transformation is complete, he just walks out of the classroom to Mr. Van Driessen's complete befuddlement.Van Driessen: Is Beavis having some sort of problem I should be aware of?Butt-Head: Uh, he ate like...27 candy bars, and then he drank like a twelve pack of root beer.
- In "Tom Anderson's Balls"...
- Butt-Head: Beavis, your balls are filthy.
- The duo hiding in the woods and stealing Mr. Anderson's golf balls whenever he hits one near them, which eventually leads to him running out of them completely and the two selling the balls back to him.
- The boys attend a nude drawing class in "Figure Drawing".
- Beavis: WOAH! YOU CAN SEE HER BOOBS!!!
- Their experience with the new school psychiatrist in "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Huh Huh"
- When asked about how he felt about his mother, Beavis made hand gestures.Butt-Head: That's not how I feel your mother.Beavis: Shut up, fartknocker! (slaps Butt-Head off the couch)
- The duo fighting over the last grape sucker.Butt-Head: It's not going to taste like grape when it's up your butt!
- When the two analyzed inkblot tests, they made up numerous euphemisms for masturbation. When shown a drawing of a singer, they passed it off as "a bunch of weird shapes." This was enough to get them hauled off to a psychiatric ward.
- When asked about how he felt about his mother, Beavis made hand gestures.
- In "Liar Liar" the duo take a polygraph test to see if either of them lifted money from the Burger World cash registers after it comes up short. When Beavis' turn comes up, the interrogator asks him to say the first thing that comes to mind to make sure he's hooked up properly. Beavis' response? "I killed a bunch of people once!" And the truth bell dings.
Butt-Head: Get a haircut, hippie!
- Beavis' above statement gets him arrested for a string of serial killings that occurred back in the 1960's. When the news report mentions the police were asked how he possibly could have committed them when they were obviously committed long before he was even born, their response is "he's very clever."
- This clip, featuring an intro from the original artist!
- "Pregnant Pause" manages to build an entire short's worth of laughs out of Beavis mistakenly thinking he's pregnant (it's just constipation), particularly when he overhears two women chatting in a store about symptoms, etc. and finds they all somehow apply to him. With old-fashioned "dun-dun-DUNNNN" music underscoring each "revelation" to boot.
- The look on Beavis's face when the pregnancy test tested "positive".
- Beavis's critique on Korn's "Blind" should be heard to be fully appreciated.
- Bow, ba-bow, ba-bow, ba-bow-bow-bow, ba-ba-ba-ba-bow-bow-bow-bow
- Their review of the song "The Late Mistake" by Comateens:Beavis [in time to the music]: Dammit, dammit, son of a bitch. Dammit, dammit, son of a bitch.Butt-Head: If those were the words, it'd be cool.Beavis: You know, I was thinking of writing a song called, "Dammit, Son of a Bitch." Kinda goes like that, it's like, "Dammit, dammit, son of a bitch. Dammit, dammit, son of a bitch. Son of a BIIIIITCH, sonofaBITCHsonofaBIIIIIIITCH. Dammit, dammit, dammit."
- Beavis's reaction to "California" by Wax. Even better is that when Butt-Head snaps him out of it at the end of the video, Beavis doesn't even remember any of it.
- Beavis showing a little cynicism in their Yanni review:Butt-Head: Life. What a beautiful choice.Beavis: Life. It sucks. All these kids have one thing in common: they're here because a couple people did it. (as Yanni comes on the screen) Whoa, look at that, it's Geraldo.
- The commentary for Iggy Pop's "Butt Town", particularly Beavis pointing out that Iggy should get together with Sir Mix-A-Lot (he of "Baby Got Back" infamy) and "just talk about butts all day."
- "Fur Trade", specifically the part where they try to sell the squirrel corpse to a fur coat shop, only to be asked to leave.Beavis: Oh yeah, WELL YOU SUCK! Heh. AND YOUR SUCKING STORE SUCKS! Heh heh heh. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT GOOD FUR IS! I'M GONNA TELL EVERYBODY THAT YOU DON'T SELL REAL FUR HERE! Heh heh heh. THEY DON'T SELL REAL FUR HERE, THEY DON'T SELL REAL FUR HERE, YOU SUCK! Heh.
- The duo is actually stupid enough to believe that they can buy stuff with black and white counterfeit dollars and nickles that they got from a print shop. They tried this out in "Green Thumbs"...and no, they do not succeed.
- "Screamers" is an all-around funny episode, especially the part where an argument starts up between 2 inhabitants because of the duo's repeated screaming.Random man: SHUT THE HELL UP! MY KIDS ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!Random woman: WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU STOP SCREAMIN'!? YOU'RE NOT HELPIN'!Random man: OH YEAH!? WELL WHY DON'T YOU STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT!?Random woman: YEAH? WELL HOW WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO KICK YOUR ASS!?
- Eventually, Beavis and Butt-Head's screaming attracts the attention of a cop who grabs them both and then tells them off in a VERY loud tone.
- In the episode "Choke", the duo watching a Benny Hill expy illustrates exactly what they find funny:Hill expy: Oy! I've got me finger stuck in me bum!Beavis and Butt-Head: *laugh uncontrollably*Hill expy: Oy! I've should've never listened to that little Dutch boy by the dike.Beavis and Butt-Head: *silence*Hill expy: And now I've got me finger stuck in me bum!Beavis and Butt-Head: *laugh uncontrollably*
- The plot of the episode is that Butt-Head starts choking on a chicken nugget, and Beavis incredibly poor attempts at saving him. He eventually leaves the house to look for a sign showing the instruction for the Heimlich Maneuver (which Beavis instantly mishears as "licked his rectum" when told about it by the 911 operator), which he almost immediately forgets about and goes off in search of nachos, leaving Butt-Head to slowly choke to death back at the house. Eventually, Beavis remembers what he was supposed to be doing, and goes to Burger World for the sign, only to come back with an Employees Must Wash Hands sign. Luckily, he steps on the now almost dead Butt-Head when he comes back in, leading to Butt-Head spitting up the nugget... only for Beavis to eat the nugget and immediately begin choking as well.
- The episode where the duo have to wait in a very long line to use a porta-potty. Beavis throws Butt-Head out of it once they finally get there... only for the latter to knock the porta-potty over, door side down, but not before saying the line below whilst trying to open the door.Butt-Head: Open the door Beavis, I'm gonna kick your ass!
- Before that, when the two boys are fighting over who gets to go first, Butt-Head attacks Beavis with what can only be described as the "Pelvic Thrust of Doom." Repeatedly.
- There's also the fat, shirtless drunk who repeatedly screams "Rock N Roll". The first time we see him, he throws up. The second time, he's the last person to use the porta-potty before the duo fight over it.
- Before that, when the two boys are fighting over who gets to go first, Butt-Head attacks Beavis with what can only be described as the "Pelvic Thrust of Doom." Repeatedly.
- "Walking Erect", where they unintentionally trick everyone into thinking that one of the snakes escaped. Eventually, they fall for it as well...
- What about when they grab what they believe to be a snake, only for the lights to come on and reveal that they were grabbing each other's penises? The erection sound compliments the scene so well.
- Earlier, they made a comment that women might be excited in a snake exhibit. Then when everyone believes snakes are on the loose, a busty woman gets all excited.
- "Uhh... Because Beavis would be happy to spank his monkey." "Shut up, dillweed!"
- All dream sequences from "Dream On". One in particular is the one where Beavis talks with an unnamed karate master.
- How about "Killing Time"?Beavis: Hey Butt-Head, how long till something good's on TV?
Butt-Head: Uhhh...Two hours dude.
Beavis: Hey Butt-Head, how long until some...
Butt-Head: Beavis, shut up or I'll kick your ass.
Beavis: Hey Butt-Head, how long (Butt-Head slaps him) OOW! This sucks.
- The music video "'Freedom of 76'" has Butt-Head trying to convince Beavis to get his balls snipped off, on account of them supposedly being "not really used for anything." Showing unusual intelligence, Beavis asks Butt-Head if this is some kind of trick. Butt-Head says no. Then Beavis asks if Butt-Head uses his nads for anything...Butt-Head: UUUUUUUHHHHHH-UUUUuuhhhh! Damn it, Beavis!Beavis: See? that's what nads are for! (*Beat*) Bunghole!
- The episode "Tired" is classic. The boys roll a gigantic tire up a hill overlooking Highland, and before Beavis is completely settled inside, Butt-Head rolls him down the hill, leading to a lengthy montage of a screaming Beavis nearly causing a multi-car pile-up, almost killing Mr. Van Driessen, crushing someone under a car, knocking a train off the tracks, and causing Todd to spill his beer while driving.
Butt-Head: Teach him a lesson. Watch where you're going next time, Beavis. Wuss. (Todd throws Beavis at Butt-Head)
- Then Todd shows up and kicks Beavis's ass for making him spill his beer.
- Spot, the dog that keeps attacking Beavis in "Bad Dog", including 2 bites to the crotch. Also the line below as Beavis and Butt-Head are walking to the pound:Beavis: Sit boy. Sit. Sit. Sit or I'll kick your ass!
Butt-Head: You know, maybe if they put more suck bands in prison like...Beavis: (screams when Steve Grimmett's face pops up)Butt-Head: ...people would like, you know, try to stay out of prison?Beavis: Maybe it would have a... uh... a positive... ah... uh... effect on some generations of... of the youth...Butt-Head: Beavis, quit trying to sound smart.Beavis: Oh yeah, um... actually, um... I think they should all just get the chair, including Grim Reaper.
- Their commentary on Grim Reaper's "Rock You to Hell."
- The part where the duo use a set of cameras they found in a bush during the episode "Dude, a Reward". Also the beginning of said episode.Beavis: Give me a bite of that Butt-Head, come on.Butt-Head (while eating a burrito): No way. This burrito rules.Beavis: Come on, give me a bite.Butt-Head (somewhat annoyed): No way! Get your own, butt hole!Beavis: I'm gonna take it.Butt-Head: Oh yeah, and I'll kick your ass. *Beavis grabs the burrito out of his hand and starts running* I warned you Beavis, I'm gonna kick your ass! *Starts chasing Beavis*
- Them watching the music video "Cry".Singing: Cryyyyyyyy...
Beavis: Well I'm glad that's over—
Butt-Head: Now it's over—
Beavis: AAAAH! STOP IT!
- Watch it here.
- During the video for "I Wish" by Skee-Lo:Butt-Head: Uh, you know what they say about short dudes? They got, like, y'know, really big, uh, y'know...Beavis: Yeah, yeah, I know, but like, I tried telling a chick that once, and she said "I don't care how big your turds are!"Butt-Head (laughing): You dumbass!
- Butt-Head has truly mastered the art of the Your Mom joke, as heard during Prince's "The Most Beautiful Girl In The World."Butt-Head: You know, Beavis, I was looking at your mom naked once...Beavis: Really? How come you were naked? Heh heh.Butt-Head: No, Beavis. Your mom was naked.Beavis: Oh, um, oh yeah.Butt-Head: You know how Prince is, like, searching for the most beautiful chick in the world?Beavis: Yeah, yeah, heh.Butt-Head: Well, he doesn't need to go anywhere near your house. Uh huh huh.
- The beginning of "Held Back", which consists of Beavis and Butt-Head answering Buzzcut's answer wrong three times ("60?" "90210?" "LMNOP?"), and instead of seeing Buzzcut's angry reaction, the episode does a Smash Cut to the principal's office. Just the way it's executed is hilarious.
Butt-Head: You just weren't reaching us, dude.Beavis: Yeah! And, if you try reaching for us, I'll kick you in the nads!McVicker: Uhhh, uhhhh. (gives up) For crying out loud!!! Uhhh uhhh.
- This exchange:
- "Stewart Moves Away" is an all-around hilarious episode, right down to the ironic episode title. But what REALLY sells it is Mr. Stevenson's reaction to Mrs. Stevenson uncovering his porn stash!
- In the beginning of "Animation Sucks", Mr. Van Driessen gives a long speech on how animation is a long and difficult process that yields beautiful results... as it shows a single frame of Beavis and Butt-Head just sitting there for a good 30 seconds.
- During Sam Harris' "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and Yanni's "Reflections of Passion", Beavis was begging Butt-Head to change the channel, but Butt-Head decided to torture Beavis by maxing out the volume instead. Beavis's reaction is priceless, especially in "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" where he degrades into angrish.
- In "Safe House", the duo were greeted by cops and decided to threaten them, with predictable results. They get thrown in the same jail cell as the trio of gangsters who beat them up earlier.Gangster: Hey, it's those wussies from Todd's gang.Butt-Head: Uh... we're like, dumb?Beavis: Yeah, and now I'm gonna kick your ass!(the episode ends with the jail door closing and the duo getting beat up)
- From Bus Trip, Beavis and Butthead moon other drivers while on a field trip. Pictured above.
- The part on "Prank Calls" where Harry Sachz thinks Stewart's dad is the one making crank calls to him and beats him up, culminating to sticking his phone "where he'll have an awful hard time dialin' it!"
- In Huh-Huh-Humbug, when the Ghost of Christmas Future, portrayed by (who else?) Buzzcut, shows Beavis a tombstone inscribed with "Here lies Beavis. He never scored." ("GOD DAMN IT, BOY! ALL YOU EVER DID WAS SIT AT HOME WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, AND BECAUSE OF THAT, YOU NEVER SCORED!")
Buzzcut: Dammit, Boy, I'm going to knock some sense into you even if it means sticking a Christmas tree where the sun don't shine!Beavis: Whoa. That could hurt!
- From the same Christmas special, when Buzzcut shows the McVicker family without their kids, who are implied to have starved to death. The conclusion Beavis draws? "Oh I get it, so like, they ate their kids?"
- Buzzcut's entrance leads to quite possibly one of the best threats in Christmas special history, with Beavis' reaction to it being the icing on the cake:
- "Stewart is Missing". To really appreciate how funny this one is, understand that Beavis says the first part of the line enthusiastically, and then asks "what's the matter" with genuine concern in his voice.Stewart's Mom: My poor Stewart! What could have happened to him?Beavis: Maybe somebody killed him and buried him in a shallow grave... (Stewart's Mom starts crying) errr... what's the matter?
Stewart's Mom: It's not like Stewart to miss lunch!Butt-Head: I bet. Uh huh huh... he's fat.
- This exchange:
Butt-Head: You need to like... go home.Beavis: Yeah!... You're in trouble.
- And then it turns out, after a whole day of searching, Stewart was in the duo's closet the whole time.
- Beavis "The Scatman."
- "Good afternoon, sir. Would you like to buy a tie?"
- The duo's reaction to drinking non-alcoholic beer for the 1st time in "Buy Beer".
Cop: You two look a little young. I'm gonna need to see some identification.Butt-Head: (To Beavis) Check this out. (To the Cop) You have the right to remain silent.Beavis: Yeah, (To the Cop) you have the right to shut up or I'll kick your ass! *Starts acting drunk*
- Also this scene:
- Immediately followed by the sobriety test. Even sober, they fail it miserably.
- From "Sprout", where the duo tries to grow a corn plant. As expected, their attempts fail miserably due to their stupidity. Eventually, the episode cuts back to Van Driessen's classroom.Van Driessen: Beavis and Butt-Head, what happened to your corn?Butt-Head: Uhhhh, we made it into nachos already.Beavis: Yeah, they were really good.Van Driessen: Come on guys, what really happened?
Butt-Head: This corn is starting to piss me off. (To the corn) C'mon, grow, damn it!Beavis: Um, heh, how come you're yelling at it?Butt-Head: I'm not yelling at it, dumb-ass. I'm just, like, talking to it like Daria said.Beavis: Oh, yeah, yeah, heh heh.Butt-Head: So, like, uh... Corn. Uh huh huh. Grow. Uh huh huh huh.(The camera zooms in to the corn, showing nothing happening.)Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Corn! Eh yeah heh. Yeah, what's your problem?Butt-Head: Yeah, really. What's taking you so damn long?
- In the same episode, here is the "conversation" between Beavis, Butt-Head, and the corn before they kick the shit out of it for not growing in an instant.
- In "Feel a Cop", they try to pick up an undercover cop posing as a hooker:Butt-Head: How much?Cop: Fifty.Butt-Head: Cool! Beavis, you got fifty cents?Cop: No, fifty bucks.
Cop: (after trying unsuccessfully to get the boys to proposition her) I need a very specific offer of money for sex!
- Eventually, they all make it into a random apartment. Guess what happens.
- The video for "Stars" by Hum starts with a quiet section that leaves them immediately unimpressed.Butt-Head: Hooooouuuuuugggghhhh.Beavis: Um, hey Butt-Head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?
- And then the false ending mere seconds into the song actually fools them, and they change the channel thinking it's over. (Which is almost a shame if you think about it; once the song actually got going, they probably would've liked Hum's grungy style.)
- In the end of "Nosebleed", when Butt-Head goes up to a convenience store and asks a woman going out: "Can I have one of those things that you put in your thing when you get your thing?" *gets punched*
- Hell, the entire "Nosebleed" episode could go here.
- Of particular note was the scene where Butt-Head was treating the nosebleed like a sore tooth. All the viewer sees is from Beavis's perspective, where Butt-Head had tied a string from something on Beavis's face to the doorknob. Cue his slamming the door and Beavis screaming in pain as his vision washes over red.
- The scene where Butt-Head tries to scare the nosebleed out of Beavis.
- "Head Lice" is the episode where Beavis and Butt-Head get lice in their hair. They try to kill the bugs "the old-fashioned way". Guess what happens.
- Coach Buzzcut is the first to see that Beavis and Butt-Head have lice. His temporary look of shock says it all.
- The duo's attempts at killing the lice. Beavis starts repeatedly hitting Butt-Head with a flyswatter in an attempt to kill the lice, only to be sent to the ground after Butt-Head kicks him in the crotch. Butt-Head then tries spraying Beavis with insecticide, but the lice survive. Eventually, the duo use a bug zapper on themselves, with predictable results.
- It gets better. After the shocking, the lice appear to be dead. However, Beavis complains about bugs on his privates. Butt-Head suggests using the bug zapper on his wiener, which Beavis does.
- "Woodshop": Beavis and a circular saw. Guess what happens?
- And Beavis is laughing the entire time. While bleeding to death.
- Before that, they use the saw to cut several things in half, including a phone and First Aid Kit.
- The doctor informs Beavis not to use his bandaged finger for the next month... only for Beavis to pick his nose with the bandaged finger which falls back off.
- And Beavis is laughing the entire time. While bleeding to death.
- Beavis using a hedge trimmer to try to kill a fly in "Die Fly, Die!" And that's just one idea they had...
- Later on in the same episode is Beavis supposedly taking a dump in the middle of their living room. Butt-Head's reaction when he comes back with a full garbage can is priceless.Butt-Head: Ugh! What the hell are you doing, butthole?! Get up and help me with this!Beavis: I am helping, butthole! You said that flies liked garbage and crap!Butt-Head: Uhhh... oh, yeah.
- Eventually, the duo finally get the light-bulb to use insecticide. That's what the aforementioned can of garbage was for—bait. So the fly shows up, and Butt-Head starts spraying... to the point where the whole damn room fills up with noxious fumes! Beavis tries to open a window, but Butt-Head insists that the fly will escape if that happens. Beavis apologizes and gives up the attempt.
- As with a lot of the other stupid stuff the guys do, this somehow doesn't kill them. They wake up a while later, groggy and disoriented, not sure what happened. As they gaze at the state of their house—couch chainsawed, a shovel and bat lying on the ground, and a trash can tipped over so garbage has spilled out all over the floor, Beavis has this to say:Beavis: Did we have a party?
- Finally, seeing the fly again, Beavis chucks the pesticide can at it, smashing it through the window. The duo are elated that they finally got rid of that damn fly... and then a whole swarm of them comes buzzing into the house through the broken window, drawn by the smell of the garbage!Butt-Head: Uhhh...
- Later on in the same episode is Beavis supposedly taking a dump in the middle of their living room. Butt-Head's reaction when he comes back with a full garbage can is priceless.
- A Very Special Episode: Butt-Head misreads symptoms as "Simpsons" and says that they're pretty cool.
- While Butt-Head is looking at the form for the hurt bird, a cat that was sitting next to Beavis eats said bird. It takes a while for Beavis and the cat's owner to make it spit the bird out, after which the cat receives a smack from Beavis.
- "The Future of Beavis And Butt-Head." The discussion of "duties" leads to a good old fashioned One Dialogue, Two Conversations.Counselor: I see you're currently employed at Burger World, that's great! So which of your duties there do you like the most?
Butt-Head: Beavis likes all his "duties".
Beavis: Hehehe, yeah, yeah. Plop!
Counselor: Well great, Beavis! But what type of duty do you enjoy more than any other?
Beavis: Hmm, let's see, that's a tough one. Well, the ones that take a long time are kinda nice.
Counselor: I see, so you really like to get involved?
Beavis: Oh, yeah yeah.
Counselor: Get your hands dirty!
Beavis: Well yeah, sometimes.
Counselor: Something you can really sink your teeth into!
Beavis: Wait a minute...
Butt-Head: Whoa! You're disgusting!
- Butt-Head's Imagine Spot of owning his own video store: "Butt-Head's Porn Palace." It's so perfectly inane.
- In the episode "Pierced", after seeing Earl with what is a skull piercing, the boys try to get skull piercings in their own ears. However, store policy prevented them from getting piercings (their parents had to give written consent before they could get piercings). They try forging the signature of Butt-Head's mom, and needless to say, the clerk doesn't buy it, given how abysmal their handwriting is. Doesn't help they come back literally two minutes after being denied piercings. The notes say: "Do it now [sic] Buttheads Mom" with another saying "Yeah".
- First jokes of the new series? Make fun of Twilight! Because it's Just. Too. Easy.Butt-Head: Well, this isn't very good.
Beavis: So uh, is Bella a zombie? She's always just standing there with her mouth open and she acts like she's dead.
- Butt-Head: "I will fight for you until your heart stops beating... Can I have some of your popcorn?"
- Beavis trying to throw in a "vampire accent" in his lines such as "I will be a denizen of the night", "And soon, they will do our bidding", and "I am willing them this way."
- The very first video snarked on during the revival (the music video for the MGMT song "Kids") featured Beavis doing his infamous "Fire!" bit. After the outrage from the Moral Guardians during the series's original run over Beavis's obsession with fire, it was hilarious — and damned satisfying — to see Mike Judge fire that gag off almost right off the bat.
- "You're moved."
- "It's okay to be touched, Beavis."
- "Okay son, there's gonna be some scary monsters, and a bunch of creepy people putting their hands on you. But you can handle it, because you're like... 1 and 1/2!"
- "He's like, 'Never should have sent that kid to Hogwarts.'"
- "I told my niece that we couldn't see The Smurfs again, so like, she started warping space and time."
- As you can see from Beavis and Butt-Head's comments while watching a clip of Jersey Shore, their snarky comments during videos (and, now, MTV original series) are just witty and hilarious as ever:JWoww: When I'm eighty years old, and I'm teaching my kids how to make pizza, and they ask me "Oh, where did you make pizza?" (Clap) "Bitch, I made it it Florence! That where I made pizza!"Beavis: So she's gonna call her grandkids "Bitch"?Butt-Head: You're the best grandma ever, Grandma JWoww.Beavis: Yeah, please don't hit us again.Beavis: Are Uncle Juice-head and Grandpa Gorilla gonna help us make pizza?Butt-Head: Grandma JWoww, where did you get syphilis?Beavis: Yeah, tell us that story, bitch!
- And the ending, with the nurse being reluctant to change their catheters because, even though they're comatose, she swears they giggle whenever she's about to.
- Porn porn porn porn (x) porn porn...
- Pornography? What the heck is that? the study of porn? maybe he's a pornologist.
- Attention, everybody: Beavis was crying.
- Coach Buzzcut restraining Beavis after he finally flips out at Butt-Head: "Beavis! You will beat the crap out of Butt-Head on your own time!"
- Butt-Head's utter persistence in reminding Beavis that he was crying, even when they're literally on their deathbeds 80 years later! Then Butt-Head drops dead, and Beavis tells his dead body that he's not crying now either.
- Beavis and Butt-Head laugh at almost anything that sounds like reproductive organs, but it's hilarious to see that even they roll their eyes when the Jersey Shore cast makes a not so subtle sex joke.Vinny: She loves hot salami, alright? She loves hot salami!Snookie: Vinny, shut up.Beavis: (Not impressed) Oh yeah yeah, "she loves hot salami". See, he means schlong.Butt-Head: (Italian accent) You think she-a slut? That's good to know, now let's get back to making-a pizza.
- Beavis's constant attempts at howling like a wolf only to start coughing."AAWHOOO-*COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*"
Daughter's Hand/Tech Support
- The confusion of what "daughter's hand" means.
- "Jesus said she could do better."
- "Keep your hands...to yourself." "Uh, oh yeah. The answer was always with us." explanation
- The Continuity Nod at the end of Tech Support: the two thieves that stole their TV set to kickstart the Big Damn Movie's plotline off make an appearance to loot the Tech Support building.
- Beavis and Butt-Head on 16 and Pregnant:Butt-Head: This chick is a horrible actor.Beavis: Yeah. Yeah. Really.(Few seconds and some 16 and Pregnant dialogue later)Butt-Head: Uh, wait a minute. I think this is real.Beavis: Oh yeah yeah. So, um, she's not a bad actor then. Just a bad person.
- Beavis and Butt-Head unwittingly working as Tech Support is as hilarious as expected.Caller: Just tell me. How do you turn off the freakin' auto complete feature because every time I try to sign under the freakin' internet—!Beavis: Do you have any matches?Caller: Uh...?Beavis: Try setting it on FFFIRE!Caller: What the—!? I want your name. Right now.Beavis: My name is Hameed.Caller: SPELL THAT!Beavis: Um, uh, okay. Haa. Meed.
- Jamid's attempts at emulating Beavis and Butt-head after his boss told him to follow what they're doing. His accent is what sells it.Jamid: Hello, sir. Um, did you try to unplug your, um...I mean, do you have any matches? That would be cool. Eheh. Eheheh.
- Beavis causing a major blackout due to his customer support when an engineer at the local power plant calls for help with their software, and Beavis "advice" leads to him accidentally causing a meltdown.
- This line.Beavis: My name is Ha-meed. I am Chiney.
- "Uh huh huh huh, Toots". "Uh huh huh huh, Squatch".
- While they riff on Kate Perry's "Firework", Butt-Head insists that Beavis's "not a firework", and he pisses off Beavis enough to get kicked in the nuts. The reaction sells it.
- Beavis: "I AM a firework. I'm an M80."
- The duo referring to the music video's chubby yet self-empowered girl as a "Dove model"explanation .
- The cult trying their best to analyze and interpret the Great Cornholio's "words of wisdom".
- Cult Member: Why does he refer to himself as both "Cornholio" and the "Almighty Bunghole"?Cult Leader: It is the duality of nature that only the Beloved can fully understand.Cornholio: YOU ARE ALL BUNGHOLES! Each and every one of you! Yeah. And now I must go. For I am the Great Cornholio. I need Teepee for my bunghole.
- "Is this Real Housewives of Detroit?"
- "I think the chick in the back is dancing to another song."
- Beavis and Butt-Head's 'dancing' to the chorus.
- "I just got my loan for a breast augmentation."Beavis: (spits out soda) "You can get a loan for big boobs?! I'm gonna take out a loan, to get a bigger schlong!"
- At the very end:
- Stewart: Conception; Doesn't that mean something with sex?Cult Member: Yes.Stewart: (jumping in the air) Alright!
- Then later:Stewart: Yay! Sex!
- And there's just the fact that Beavis and Butt-Head missed out on scoring with a bunch of willing women and thinking Stewart was the loser.
- So what does Cage the Elephant mean?Beavis: Is that like, "choking your chicken"? Hmm-hmm-hmm.Butt-Head: Beavis, you think everything means that. But in this case, it does.
- "Now I know the baby is bumming you out. Don't worry, I'll get rid of her"
- Cornholio trying to get new parents to name their baby "Bungholio."Cornholio: I am Cornholio! And you will name your baby Bungholio! Is he an albino? Mmmmhmhmhm heh heh. Julio Bunghlio! He will be an albino... and a gringo!
- The army private getting arrested for domestic terrorism due to the duo's actions with the drone he left unattended, and got blamed for.
- Butt-Head implying that he teabagged Beavis's cake when he was in the bathroom.
- As Beavis tries to remember which student committed suicide shortly before a counselor came to their school, a long awaited reference finally pops up in the most amusing way possible.Beavis: I know Daria killed herself, I remember that.Butt-Head: Uh, she didn't kill herself. She just moved away.
- Pretty much most of the moments Beavis and Butt-Head mistaken the drone controls for video games.Butt-Head: Lookout prostitutes, here we come
Butt-Head: Hey Beavis, check it out. I'm fantasizing about your mom.(Cut to somewhere in the middle east where a drone zig-zagging erratically through through the sky, much to an onlooker's confusion)
- "Guidos, Juiceheads, Gorillas, oh my!"
- Beavis trying to figure out the difference between the three.Butt-Head: Damn it, Beavis! You've watched three season of this show and you've learned nothing. What a waste of time.
- "And her Ronald McDonald socks." "No Butt-Head, you're thinking of the Hamburglar."
- "Tune in next week...will Snooki poop?" "And if so, where?"
- Beavis trying to figure out the difference between the three.
- While watching Benny Benassi's video for "Satisfaction":Beavis: No no no, that's okay. Just tear it down and build a new one. Reeeeal slooow.Butt-Head: I'd like to be under her boobs during an earthquake though.
- The scene in which a wedding is interrupted by the drone flying low - a gothic-looking fellow is set to marry a girl, with her parents looking on nervously as if they don't want it to happen. The plane flies low and takes out one of the canopy legs, causing it to fall to one side, crushing the cake in the process.
- Goth: Nooo, my cake! I can't marry you without my cake!Girl's mother : (obviously relieved) Thank God!
Supersize Me/Bathroom Break
- The duo getting increasingly fat over the course of two weeks of stuffing themselves with fast food.
- Burger World's HQ sees the duo's "documentary" and decide to send them to another fast food joint (Taco Yummo), with unlimited gift cards. When Taco Yummo's HQ sees it, the short ends with them preparing to send them to Weiner Shack (with unlimited gift cards).
- Beavis: You know, I don't see the problem with teen obesity.Butt-Head: Teen obesity kicks ass.
- Beavis and Butt-Head watch Teen Cribs and mistaken it for 16 and Pregnant, noting that the latter features poor people who live with their grandmas. This leads to the following:Beavis: And they're, like, living off my tax dollars! You know what I'm saying? It's not right.Butt-Head: Uhhh, you don't have any tax dollars!Beavis: Um...oh yeah.
- The duo mocking the father in the segment for never opening his mouth by mimicking his speech pattern. At first, they just copy what he says but then they start adding their own interpretations.Butt-Head: I had to make a waterfall and a wood slide and had to work my whole damn life to pay for this crap. Ughnnn...Beavis: And my wife makes me build all this stuff, ugh, I'm miserable here...Son: (with a telescope next to him) You can even see Zion National Park.Butt-Head: I tried to runaway to Zion National Park but they caught me with that damn telescope. Ugh...
- The duo mocking the father in the segment for never opening his mouth by mimicking his speech pattern. At first, they just copy what he says but then they start adding their own interpretations.
- The end of "Bathroom Break." The manager needs to use the restroom, but Beavis and Butt-Head are abusing their bathroom break, so a long line is formed. He decides to go in a bush, and gets arrested for public urination, and, when forgetting to zip up, indecent exposure.
- (in Italian accent) I have match for you: you and this mop. Go on date with floor.Beavis: I have a checklist too, heh-heh. She has to at least have one boob, and she has to be a girl, and she can't be my mom.Butt-Head: I have the same list, but it, like, includes your mom. Huh-huh.
- The duo amazed by (a guy who looks like) Jesus able to speak Spanish.Butt-Head: "And then for the first verse, I was thinking of this: 'Ueeeeoueeeeeuuuugh!'"Beavis: "And then for the chorus, maybe: 'RAAAAAAGH~!'"
- "Huhuh, he found her on Craigslist, then he put her to work"
- The montage of the boys trying to set the trap up.something
- Their declaration to kill the rat:Beavis: That son of a bitch ate our nachos!Butt-Head: That's right, Beavis. And that is a crime for which it must be punished.Beavis: Yeah! To DEATH!Butt-Head: This is gonna be cool!
- Beavis: "Why did I come in here again? Ooh, nachos." *snap* "AAAH! Dammit!"
- After Beavis saves the rat from the trap, it follows him everywhere: "Boy, Beavis, that rat dude really likes you. He must be like a metrosexual or something."
- "I'm reporting this, this is a health violation!" "Yeah, the food here sucks."
- The reveal of the rat being female.
- Butt-Head: "Maybe if he'd go buy something, instead of monkeying around on the escalator, the economy wouldn't suck!"
- "Filthy chicks."
- Jersey Shore:
- Beavis: "Phenomenon, trainwreck, I get those two confused too."
- Butt-Head: "All the guys in the house know what they're doing to her body."
- Butt-Head: "You're making a difference... in my pants."
- "Hey Beavis, you better lay low for a while."
- There's a Funny Background Event when Beavis and Butt-Head are fighting over a filthy bird.
- Beavis and Butt-Head looting the Maxi Mart during the evacuation.
- The duo seeing a reporter doing a piece on the damage to Stewart's house that the two caused, and misunderstanding the whole thing, thinking that someone else showed up and trashed the place after "they made it cool".Beavis: BUNGHOLES!
- This bit of dialogue:Butt-Head: "This is Stewart's grandma's ashes"Beavis: "Ew, she put her cigarettes out in a vase? That's disgusting."
- For their Siskel & Ebert parody segment "Cinema Classics", Beavis and Butthead discuss a "wonderful and inspiring" film called the The Human Centipede. Yeah...Beavis: You know, it really is uplifting.Butt-Head: Through this experience, they learn about cooperation, friendship, and life.Beavis: And they also learn what human butt tastes like! Hehehe, mmm, yeah! I mean, at least two of them do.Butt-Head: Yeah, uh-huh-huh-huh. That's uplifting!
- Later in the review, Beavis suggesting that a sequel to Sex and the City should have a crossover with The Human Centipede where Dr. Heiter sews the series' main cast into a giant human centipede.Butt-Head: That would rule!Beavis: Yeah! It would be two sequels with one movie!Butt-Head: It would be the greatest chick flick that has ever been made.Beavis: Yeah! Feed her, Charlotte! Feed her, Carrie! Feeeed her, Samantha!
- Later in the review, Beavis suggesting that a sequel to Sex and the City should have a crossover with The Human Centipede where Dr. Heiter sews the series' main cast into a giant human centipede.
- In true Beavis and Butt-Head fashion, the duo mistook the P.A.T. leaders' words about not having to learn something complicated (referring to the Theory of Evolution) and uses it to get out of not just biology class but every class they find complicated (including Geometry and P.E.) and tell everyone that they're going to hell. What sells it is Beavis interjecting rhetoric on Hell.Butt-Head: Uhh. We shouldn't have to learn this.Beavis: Yeah yeah!Mr. Van Driessen: Uh, why not?Butt-Head: 'Cause my uncle's not a monkey!Beavis: Yeah yeah! That's right!Mr. Van Driessen: This is Geometry, not Evolution. Mmmkay.Butt-Head: Tell that to the Lord.Beavis: But it shall go unanswered as you roam the fiery pit of damnation!Butt-Head: You're going to Hell!
- The P.E. class deserves special mention.Coach Buzzcut: Now to start a wrestling match, one wrestler gets down on all fours and the other mounts him from behind (mounts a student as described) like so!Butt-Head: Whoa! You're definitely going to Hell!Beavis: Yeah! I don't understand that at all! I mean, if that's okay with you guys.Butt-Head: To each his own.
- The P.E. class deserves special mention.
- The bit about foot fetish dude working at airport security.
- "Oh so that's what he does. He just goes to Red Robin and growls."
- The fact that NOBODY seemed concerned about Beavis.
- The whole "masturbation experiment" bit, especially Butt-Head's crack about the "stimulus package."
- The One Dialogue, Two Conversations (The boys think it's about sex; the girls drugs).
- Uh-huh-huh-huh. The moon.
Used Car/Bounty Hunters
- Butt-Head repeatedly turning the key in the ignition, even though the car's already started. And then he rams the car into a brick wall across the street.
- Beavis: This is the one girl who deserves to be emo.
- Jersey ShoreButt-Head: "Oh, they're all guidos. They all taste like spray tan.Beavis: "Too much gristle."
- The boys thinking EVERYONE, including President Obama and the Volunteers of the Week, are criminals.
- While at a colonial village, we get this gem.Beavis: I hope we get to see some dinosaurs.Butt-Head: You dumbass, dinosaurs haven't been invented yet.
- Butt-Head: Time-space condominium.
- The Jersey Shore bit was the part in the Comic-Con trailer; hilarious.
- Butt-Head: "I just got something...No. 2 pencil."
- The fact that the boys only accomplish putting their names on their test papers after three hours, triggering McVicker to fill in answers on Butt-Head's paper himself. What makes the scene funnier is Van Driessen's nearly deadpan response to McVicker cheating for Butt-Head, complete with his obligatory "mmkay".
- Butt-Head: "Woah, you have tight jeans and Converse All-Stars just like me. Do you like shoving little kids? I do too! Let's start a band."
- The boys mocking Small-boobed girl's fiance.
- The very fact the duo presented the Sound Effects Editing awards during the 1997 Academy Award show.
- "Vinny Reloaded" in the Beavis and Butt-Head Interruptions section of Special Features. Just...the whole sketch."Dina just called us and she said Vinny's been farting in the house.""No no, not the notebook, no no, he farted on the notebook too!"
- The "Silence Your Cell Phone" message: "I'm Butt-Head. Shut up."
- Prior to Jackass 3D, Beavis and Butt-Head try out their 3D glasses, but Beavis seems to think it's not working. Then...Butt-Head: Whoa! Hey, Beavis! Look at my hand. It's in 3D.
Beavis: Huh, really? I don't really see— (Gets punched) AAH! Whoa! Whoa, that's amazing! It felt like you really hit me! It's almost like your hand really— (Eats a left hook) Ow! Wow, that's amazing technolog— (Gets his 3D glasses smacked off his face) Hey, wait a second!
Butt-Head: Huh huh. So, sit back and... (Smacks Beavis across the face) enjoy the movie.
Beavis: That was definitely 2D!
- The titular duo's appearances in the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards commercials, especially since they keep trying to get viewers to vote for them so that they will be put back on MTV, only to find that they aren't on the voting list in the last video.
- According to Mike Judge, he once got a recording message from a angry viewer of the show whom for some reason (Either he was illiterate or really was a drunken redneck idiot) he thought the show was called "Porky's Butthole"... it's still a Riddle for the Ages about how did he ever get "Porky's Butthole" out of "Beavis and Butt-Head" besides the word "Butt" in the title. The cherry on top of this story is the angry viewer was the inspiration for Jeff Boomhauer from "King of the Hill"!
- Beavis and Butt-head's appearance on Celebrity Deathmatch. Who won? Cornholio!
- Butt-Head telling the guy who's car gets stolen in the park that it just went for a walk, and the idiot BELIVES him.Guy': Oh, I didn't know it could do that. I'll just wait for it then.Butt-Head: Uh yeah dude, you do that.
- The two prisoners by the weights in the prison yard.Bald Convict: Which one of you is gonna be my bitch?Butt-Head: Uh, Beavis is.
- Also in the prison, the crazy guy hiding under the bed in the cell who rhymes constantly.
- The female guard who takes a shine to Beavis, and utterly loathes Butt-Head.
- Beavis and Butt-Head stealing a tank from the veterans hall, and uses it to get food from the Burger World drive through, then end up crashing it into traffic.
- Giving the creepy janitor a stuffed squirrel as part of the puzzle to get Todds keys, where the janitor calls the squirrel "pretty".Beavis: Um, is that squirrel pretty, Butt-Head?Butt-Head: Don't ask dont tell, dude.
Beavis and Butt-Head Do U
- The conversation about women between Butt-Head and Van Driessen outside the student union.Van Driessen: Remember Butt-Head, sometimes it's enough to just talk with a woman.Butt-Head: *genuinely confused* Uh, what?
- Beavis and Butt-Head pledging to a fraternity. It's exactly as hilarious as it sounds.
- Butt-Head tries charming a snake so they can steal its eggs for one of the quests. When that fails, he gets it to bite Beavis in the neck, and steals the eggs in the commotion.
- Butt-Head using a cattle prod on Beavis as the Great Cornholio to get him to do the vertical jump for the gym class signature.
- Beavis breaking the plastic heart for the anatomy figure in Biology, forcing them to use an ACTUAL human heart to finish the puzzle.