- The opening lyrics are not only original, but also hilarious.
Jeremy: C-c-c-c'mon, c-c-c-c'mon, go, go! C-c-c-c'mon, c-c-c-c'mon, go, go! I'm waiting for my porno to load/My brain is gonna freakin' explode...
- During Michael's character introduction and solo during "More Than Survive":
How was class?
You look like ass
- Rich vandalizes Jeremy's backpack to read "BOYF". When he later meets up with Michael and asks him what he thinks it means, Michael shows him his backpack, which is similarly vandalized to read "RIENDS", and holds it next to Jeremy's, where the completed message spells out "BOYFRIENDS".
Jeremy: I hate this school.
- This gem of a line was added to the 2018 production:
would be thrilled!
- "It's better than drugs
IT'S FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!"
- Just as Rich is leaving the bathroom, Jeremy stops him to ask him if he's going to wash his hands. This is funny in and of itself, but it's even better in the Exit 82 version, where Rich proceeds to rub his (unwashed) hands all over Jeremy's face.
- Rich's killer dance moves towards the end of The Squip Song, if only for how over the top and out of nowhere they are. In the 2018 production, he starts pelvic thrusting at a visibly distressed Jeremy, who matches his moves.
- Jeremy sharing his thoughts with Michael on Rich's offer:
Jeremy: So, what do you think?
Michael: He's scamming you! He's scamming you super weirdly!
Jeremy: But what if he's not? Th-This could be HUGE! I just have to give the guy
who torments me
(beat) Yeah, he's totally scamming me.
- The interlude during "Two-Player Game":
Mr. Heere: Hello?
Jeremy and Michael: BLOOD!
Mr. Heere: Son!
Jeremy and Michael: CLAWS!
Mr. Heere: JEREMY!
Jeremy and Michael: (annoyed) Pause.
(Mr. Heere enters the room)
Jeremy: Ugh, what!? DAD! Pants!
Mr. Heere: Oh! Is there a girl? Are you in here with a— oh. Hi, Michael.
Michael: Heeey, Mr. Heere!
- Something that cannot be seen on the soundtrack: in the original and Exit 82 live performance, when segueing into "Two Player Game", the beanbags Jeremy and Michael sit on are just dropped onto the stage from the catwalk above.
- The whole bit with Jeremy purchasing the SQUIP.
Scary Stockboy: To activate! You must take it with Mountain Dew—-(interjecting as Jeremy makes a start to question him) I DON'T KNOW WHY!! Something about the Dew...
- When he sings a brief reprise of "The Squip Song".
: It's from Japan / It's a grey, oblong pill / Quantum nanotechnology CPU...
Michael: (mouthing) What. The. Fuck.
- Then, after Jeremy swallows the SQUIP pill and Mountain Dew:
Michael: How does it taste?
Jeremy: (smacking his lips) Minty!
Michael: How do you feel?
Michael: (disbelieving) NOTHING? AT ALL?! Nah, try to say something cool!
Jeremy: I think I just blew my bar mitzvah money on a Wintergreen tic tac.
Michael: Yeah, not cool.
- Michael's Adorkable excitement about vintage sodas. Both the original and the 2018 revival have their moments.
Michael: Check it out. Guy at Spencer's Gifts is hooking me up with a case of Crystal Pepsi. It's like regular pepsi...only CLEAR!
Jeremy: Wasn't that discontinued in the 90's?
Michael: (practically bursting) That's what makes it so AWESOME!
: Check it out. Guy at Spencer's Gifts is hooking me up with a case of Ecto-Cooler
. It's the Ghostbusters
tie-in drink they discontinued in the 90's!
Jeremy: What does it taste like?
- Jeremy meeting his SQUIP:
Jeremy: (awed) You look like Keanu Reeves!
SQUIP: My default mode. You can also set me for (suavely) Sean Connery. (raspy) Jack Nicholson. (falsetto) Sexy anime female, oh huhuhu!
Jeremy: No, Keanu's good!
- A lot of the SQUIP's interactions with Jeremy are hilarious:
SQUIP: (on picking out shirts) Pick that one.
Jeremy: It has a picture of Eminem on it.
SQUIP: If you're so astute, what do you need me for?
- After letting Jeremy choose one himself initially:
) That's a girl's
- After running into Chloe and Brooke, the SQUIP helps Jeremy play off a would-be embarrassing encounter. Jeremy hamming up the SQUIP's instructed responses leads to this lovely retort:
SQUIP: Hey, Hamlet! Be. More. Chill!
- In the 2018 off-Broadway and 2019 Broadway productions, it's arguably even funnier - rather than sounding irritated, the Squip is barely withholding his laughter at Jeremy's mishaps.
- The Squip's mall scene dialogue in the 2018 off-Broadway version is delivered in a Californian surfer accent, in order to complete the 'young Keanu Reeves' illusion.
- The entire "DID YOU KILL EMINEM!?" scene.
- The Squip gets, ahem, flirtatious during "Upgrade". Jeremy's reactions may vary, but are always funny.
SQUIP: I'll tenderly guide you/Just take me inside you, forever...
- Jake asking Christine out in "Upgrade."
- Rich tripping out on Halloween. At first, anyway.
- Jake and Christine were supposed to coordinate costumes as a couple to be Prince and Princess. She comes in a Renaissance-accurate dress she wore when performing Juliet. Jake comes dressed as Prince.
- Although the situation in question is quite serious, in the off-Broadway and Broadway runs, during "Do You Wanna Hang," after the Squip forces Jeremy to drink from Chloe's flask, it not only tapers off into Japanese rambles as alcohol scrambles its programming, but eventually cuts off and collapses face-first onto Jake's parents' bed as a result of its malfunctioning. It's quite a hilarious visual for such a threatening digital villain who has, until this point, been suave, intimidating and in control, to topple over drunk, especially since it's a computer.
- As serious as Michaels confrontation with Jeremy at the Halloween party over the SQUIP is pretty serious overall, this line is pretty funny:
Michael: THINK, man! Were talking an insanely powerful supercomputer! You think its primary function is to get you laid?! Who made them? How did they end up in a high school? IN NEW JERSEY?!
Jenna Rolan: (knocking on the bathroom door, annoyed) Hello? Some of us have to pee!
Michael: (somewhat falsetto) I'm having my period!
Jenna Rolan: (sympathetically) Take your time, honey.
- Almost the entirety of "The Smartphone Hour".
- Chloe's disgust at the fact that she has to talk to Jenna at the beginning.
- When Jenna gets to the good part.
Jenna: I'll tell you 'cause you are my closest friend!
Chloe (spoken): No you're not?
Jenna (spoken): Y-yeah, I know.
- Jenna's weak vocal run during the first chorus.
- When Chloe tries to pass the message on to Brooke and gets ignored, she has to repair their friendship.
Hmph! And also, space, and frowny face *spoken*
I'm sorry that Jeremy made out with me at the party but it was totally his fault and let's not let boys ever come between us ever again okay? Smiley face, lipstick, kitty paw. *beat* Brooke:
We cool? Brooke:
- And right after that, when Chloe asks her if she saw Rich at the end of the part, Brooke snaps back "No, I was crying."
- Many productions have Brooke eating a banana during her conversation with Chloe in the song. When Brooke hears about the fire, she throws the half-eaten banana across the stage.
- "No I meant fucked. Did I say flecked? Sorry guys, that's just my auto-correct."
- The fact that the ensemble usually consists of the male leads in ridiculous drag costumes.
- "The Pants Song" has a lot of these mixed with Heartwarming Moments, especially as it has Mr. Heere and Michael dancing around the stage together in their underwear, but the funniest parts are a result of Michael being high out of his mind during the song.
Michael: Sorry, Jeremy and I aren't friends anymore.
Mr. Heere: Do you love him?
I know he can be a little shit sometimes, but that's no excuse to sit around burning incense
while he turns himself into a monster!
- The 2018 Off-Broadway production then adds this gem:
Mr. Heere: He called me a loser, too! So what? Jeremy is in big trouble right now, and if we don't help him, we could lose him forever! Then we would be losers! Huh? Is that what you want?
Michael: (begrudgingly) No...
Mr. Heere: Say it like you mean it!
Michael: (A little more sustained, but still reluctant) Noooooooo...
Mr. Heere, sternly: Say it like you're in the army!
Michael: (yelling, clearly extremely stoned) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Michael: (clumsily saluting) ...Sergeant? (mumbling apologetically) I don't - I don't even know....
- "I NEEEED MOUUUUNTAAAIN DEEEEEW REEEEEEEEEEED!"
- According to the SQUIP, the reason Mountain Dew Red was discontinued is because it's the only thing that can deactivate it.
- How did Michael figure out something was wrong with the cast for the school play? Well...
Michael: (To Jeremy) I was just in the audience thinking, "This is pretty good for a school play." Then I was like, "THIS IS WAY TOO GOOD FOR A SCHOOL PLAY!"
- After Jake gets Squipped:
Jeremy: (upon Jake throwing his crutches away) It healed your legs?!
Jake: (cheerfully) No! But I can't feel pain. It's AWESOME!!
- During "Voices in My Head", Michael sometimes playfully pats Rich's shoulder while they and Mr. Heere harmonize, giving Jeremy love advice in the hospital. Rich, who is in a full body cast after the fire, lets out an unearthly shriek.