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Funny / Bayonetta

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Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.
D'aww, Cereza's imitating 'Mummy'! She wants to be just like her when she grows up!

  • The game opens in a graveyard with the staff's names on the tombstones. Then camera pans to the one for the game director Hideki Kamiya, which Enzo proceeds to... relieve himself on.
  • The award trophies consist of badasses Bayonetta, Rodin, and Luka for (Pure) Platinum, Gold, and Silver, respectively, and cute little Cereza for Bronze. If you get Stone (and you likely will get nonstop Stones the first time through the game), you get...Enzo falling flat on his ass.
    Enzo: Oh, what a day!
  • Bayonetta is first introduced in a nun outfit that hugs her figure tightly. When it gets damaged, she strips it off and generates her Umbra Witch battle wear... normally. If you're playing the Wii U or Nintendo Switch version, she might already be wearing Peach or Daisy's dresses, Link's tunic... or Samus' Power Suit. The fancy sleeves of the princesses and the Master Sword's sheath are bad enough, but Bayonetta has no excuse for fitting that Cool Helmet or those Shoulders of Doom under that habit.
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  • The flashback at the opening of Chapter II. Jeanne, the clan's heir, is proving her right to inherit the Umbra Throne, and part of the ritual involves defeating challengers of her choice. Of course, it stops being solemn as soon as we realize that Jeanne chose Bayonetta as her opponent.
    Jeanne: Will you face me in this hallowed arena?
    Bayonetta: Well, if I must. But I pray you've got a little something for me in return. (Beat) You know, I'm very fond of stuffed animals!
    [cut to fight]
  • This little gem:
    Bayonetta: "I feel like a fucking celebrity in this town."''
  • After all has been said and done in the fight with Temperantia, the boss has been knocked down, his arms have been ripped off, and his face is a visceral mess. To add insult to injury, Bayonetta's used a gasoline tanker to make a cherub statue urinate gas all over him. She stomps down on the trail of fuel to ignite it, and the camera follows the flame as it gets closer to the boss... and then everything stops. The flame, the boss's laughter, even the music. There's a pause... and then Bayonetta gives the most annoyed, disappointed, do-I-have-to-do-everything-around-here sigh before she shoots over her shoulder without even looking. The bullet goes up the cherub's urethra. Cue Stuff Blowing Up and the statue's head flying into the air, crying gasoline.
    • Even better, up until she shoots the statue, the cherub is smiling. Afterwards, not so much...
  • Luka's introductory cutscene where he tries to flirt with a Vigridian just after hearing her scream. When he walks backwards, he accidentally trips over a box of flowers, but manages to snag one and nonchalantly give it to the lady.
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  • Luka and Cereza's escape from near death on Isla del Sol, complete with Audible Gleam - for Luka, Cereza, and her doll, Cheshire!
  • When we first meet Luka, Bayonetta refers to him not by his name, but calls him "Cheshire" - which annoys him to no end. Slightly later, we meet little Cereza - and her favourite toy, a stuffed cat.
    Luka: Is that cat your friend?
    Cereza: Yes, he is. His name's Cheshire. He's cute, isn't he?
    Luka: *frowning* 'Cheshire'... (under his breath) What a stupid name...
  • The finishing move for the Golem enemy. Bayonetta summons Hekatoncheir, a bunch of massive disembodied arms with super strength, and it proceeds to toss the Golem around like it's a volleyball...until the third pair of arms miss it. As soon as it misses, the music completely stops as the Golem falls and lands on the ground, with the same SFX as that of a lightweight ball (the Golem even bounces lightly like a ball, even though it's made of solid [magic] metal). Hekatoncheir pauses... Then the music kicks back in as it settles for just punching the shit out of the Golem until it's destroyed.
    • The first time you fight a Golem, it's entirely possible to miss filling the Climax gauge because you dropped your controller/GamePad laughing too hard.
  • When Bayonetta meets Luka at the Sun and Moon valley, she tackles him to save him from a falling piece of the scenery. Instead of being surprised or scared, Luka is way too busy copping a feel of Bayonetta's ass. The best part? It's all in slow-mo.
  • It's assumed that Bayonetta calls Luka "Cheshire" because of his habit of popping up where she least expects him to...
    Bayonetta: (Poking her head through the sunroof) Hello, Cheshire.
    Luka: Shit!
  • Bayonetta drawing Amaterasu's facial symbols on Luka's face with her lipstick, while she's invisible to him.
    Bayonetta: I've often seen a girl without lipstick, but lipstick without a girl? Most curious, isn't it, Cheshire?
  • The angel carrying Enzo away in the prologue.
    Enzo: HEY!!! I'M NOT DEAD YET! You can't take me like this! It's against regulations, I tell ya!!
    • Just about any scene with Enzo is funny.
    • And to put the icing on the cake? The Stone Award, the one you get if you completely balls up a run? It's Enzo falling on his ass.
      Enzo: WHAT A DAY!
  • The ending scene.
    Jeanne: I swear, this is the last time I cosplay!
    • The scene during the ending where everyone believes Bayonetta is dead is quite a Tear Jerker, but then when she comes out from her coffin alive and remarks, "Next time, put me in a coffin with some air holes and less maggots," you won't be able to stop laughing. It's also a very nice callback to Rodin's introduction.
  • The Beloved who falls for Cereza. His entire "romance" lasts one fight, but the sheer awkwardness of it will last all of Cereza's life.
  • The first time Cereza calls Bayonetta "Mummy" is both adorable and hilarious, just for Bayonetta's reactions alone.
    • Bayonetta chiding Cereza for crying.
      Bayonetta: If there's two things I hate in this world, it's cockroaches and crying babies! (Beat) Well, a crying baby cockroach would be truly terrible...
    • Cereza grabbing Bayonetta's ribbon when she turns to walk away in the same scene.
  • Cereza's attempts to mimic Bayonetta's pose when she's leaning against a wall with her arms folded is both hilarious and utterly adorable.
    • Then there's Cereza's little Ass-Kicking Pose that she performs when she's talking to Luka in the same scene.
  • The cutscene that opens Chapter XIV has Luka piloting a helicopter with Cereza and Bayonetta on board, heading for Isla Del Sol. Luka gets distracted ogling Bayonetta's wet breasts, then the helicopter comes under attack from guided missiles. The camera cuts in quick succession to Luka's shocked face, then Cheshire, then... Bayonetta's cleavage. The hilarity is topped off by Luka's Precision F-Strike.
    Luka: Oh, fuck me!
    • The following sequence transitioning from the helicopter blowing up to the three piloting a missile in the style of Fantasy Zone is certainly worth an extra chuckle.
  • The first time Bayonetta wrecks Enzo's car. Her facial expression is priceless, and the music stops dead in its tracks. And then during the credits, Bayonetta and Jeanne break Enzo's other brand new car.
  • Bayonetta outdancing her "imposter"...and then said imposter revealing its true form after a quick fight.
    • Depending on your sense of humour, using a torture attack on the Joys for the first time. Like all Torture Attacks, uses an actually medieval torture device (the wooden horse), and adds some significant BDSM elements. To some, it looks like a very painful and torturous way to go. . . for others, just a perfect end to a romantic evening.
  • Chapter VII. Between Bayonetta's Precision F-Strike-laced sarcasm ("I feel like a fucking celebrity in this town!") and her abuse of the Fearlesses (especially the last one), the only thing that won't get you laughing is the boss fight.
  • Most of Rodin's one-liners when you enter The Gates of Hell.
    "Hold on... What'a'ya buyin'? Heard that in a game once."
  • Bayonetta starting a motorcycle using her middle finger.
    "Time to go Vroom!"
  • The dodge move, when fully upgraded, allows Bayonetta to extend said move into a breakdance-headspin-kick-attack move. Hold it as long as possible, and she slides into a sexy pose and looks down the camera, causing the camera to click like a camera shutter.
  • When Bayonetta and Luka are outside the Vigrid Air Base, Luka uses his grappling hook to grab Bayonetta from a crumbling ledge, and then Luka holds her in his arms while romantic music plays, leading the player into thinking that there's gonna be a really romantic moment between the two of them... but right when the two are about to kiss, they fly away from each other while the music slowly comes to a halt, and then Luka slams into a wall. The whole delivery and timing of this scene is perfect.
  • When Enzo isn't around to be a Butt-Monkey, the Affinities take his place with the gusto they put into (futilely) fighting you. While nothing really happens to them in gameplay aside from asskicking and the occasional Torture Attack, they often receive the most demeaning and humiliating punishments of any angel in cutscenes. Case in point: The angel that Bayonetta surfs on when Fortitudo floods the city with lava? Yup, it's an Affinity.
    • Besides the Affinities, there's that one Fearless that appears in the cutscenes of the Temperantia boss battle. Bayonetta throws it in Temperantia's face, and later (offhandedly) drops a tram right in front of it. It looks like it's breathing a sigh of relief, and then the tram tips over and squashes him. Kinda nice revenge on one of the more irritating enemies in the game.
  • The very fact that the Wii U version allows Bayonetta to dress up as Nintendo characters. Each of them have a cosmetic effect on the game, with some hilarious results.
    • Peach and Daisy's costumes replace the Wicked Weaves with Bowser's limbs, complete with his roars.
    • According to the Nintendo Treehouse event at E3 2014, while Platinum was designing Bayonetta's Link outfit they were going to have the undershirt with it. Then Nintendo- which has a reputation of producing some of the most family-friendly games around- said to get rid of it because it would be out of character.
    • Just Bayonetta with the Link outfit. Why? She's wielding the Master Sword, something the likes of Bayonetta (a witch who made a pact with a demon and uses demons as weapons) should not be able to even get near! And the fact she's using it to kill heavenly beings make it even better!
    • One of the most ridiculous ones of all is Bayonetta dressed as Mario. What does she look like? She wears Mario's hat (with the M replaced with a B), and has his moustache!
  • In the anime film adaptation, the scene where Bayonetta confronts Luka after taking a bath with Cereza. Luka gets too distracted by her wet, bouncing breasts that he ends up falling out of the window, and then Cereza says, "Look, the old guy is dead!"
  • Jeanne's description for the Bloody Moon weapon. Starts off normal at first, going on about moon-driven technology and demons in the weaponry, but then right the fuck out of nowhere starts talking about how Jeanne, disguised as a mild-mannered high school teacher, will use the weapon to cut the ribbon and start class on the "finer points of justice" and defend her innocent students.
    • It gets better. Her superhero name is Cutie J. Jeanne is a magical girl superheroine in her off time, wielding a weapon powered by the moon.
  • Possibly the first funny moment of all to be noticed and yet one almost nobody stops to think about. How do you spell the game's title? Add T&A to a gun accessory.
  • Luka claims that if Bayonetta offed him, she'd make a lot of young ladies unhappy: Claire, Trish, Silvia, and Ammy. All references to Hideki Kamiya games.
    • Made even more so by this piece of concept art that show that said "young ladies" are actually his pet cats (and dog, in Ammy's case).
  • Artwork from the first game showing a smiling Queen Sheba holding a framed picture of Jubileus, who is striking a two-handed V-for-victory pose.
  • Some item descriptions in the game can be unintentionally funny to some people.
    • For example, the accessory Eternal Testimony is said to be made by a witch queen named Aizennote .
    • Then the description of Bracelet of Time mentions that the witch Eva made a contract with the legendary dark knight. (Marriage contract?)
  • Balder saying "It looks like my plan has gone right out the window." after throwing Luka out the window may seem like a bad Pun in itself, but in that scene, he is saying it to Bayonetta. Of course, he does what a father would do at one point - Tell dad jokes!
  • After Balder seemingly blows Scolopendra to bits, he manages to snag a feather somewhere and briefly use it as a comb.
  • An offhand comment by Luka reveals he is responsible for Bayonetta's obsession with lollipops. He kept giving them to Cereza while taking care of her!

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