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Funny / Badman

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  • From "Batman Can't Stop Thinking About Sex", when Batman shoves a pair of Talia al Ghul's panties into Bane's face:
    "You want a little? Which tube do you smell out of? Now, you have my permission to cry."
  • After (finally) making his Heroic Sacrifice in "Batman Says his Goodbyes", Batman suddenly reappears behind Gordon and Catwoman:
    Batman: (to Catwoman) Hey, what are you doing for the next couple months? Wanna go to the same cafe in Italy with me every day and wait for my butler?
    Catwoman: Fuck this. (walks out)
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  • After running several voices for his disguise by a criminal he's trying to impress (most of them impressions of actors or fictional characters), Batman loses his voice, producing his signature growling raspy voice. Shortly after releasing the criminal, he calls his butler:
    Batman: Alfred, I'm coming home! [beat] What do you mean, 'Who is this'? It's me, Bruce. [beat] Who else has this number?
  • After discovering that Batman has a host of inane fears, Scarecrow gives up and lights him on fire. To his dismay, Batman barely even notices.
    Scarecrow: You're burning alive! This doesn't scare you?
    Batman: Actually, it's kind of a relief. Just keep those Roombas away from me. They're like little electronic Alfreds. I mean nobody. Certainly not the butler who raised me.
  • In the outtakes:
    "Don't read from A Tale of Two Cities at my funeral."
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  • Batman attempting to come up with a Line-of-Sight Name in the outtakes for "Batman Vs. the Penguin":
    Batman: My name is... Hampton... Hangingpork.
    Penguin: Hampton H - did you say that because there's a pig hanging next to me?
    (Camera pans to reveal a pig corpse with a huge slit in its gut, cut to new take)
    Batman: My name is... Hampton Hugevag.
    (Everyone breaks up laughing)
  • Batman's extremely irrational fears.

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