Funny / Assist Me

• Pick an outtake. Any outtake. Some of the funny scenes are:
  • "...SEASON 6 OF THE SHIELD BY MIKE CHIKLIS"
  • Somehow there's a tiny bit of smoke coming out of Doom's mouth when's he sick and says " F**k you Wesker!" in Wesker's outtakes.
  • Max's sandwich skit in Jill's outtakes. Or the "Nobody cares, Max. Nobody cares!". Made even funnier because of Mike's voice cracking.
  • "Don't worry, Ammy has over 2 million HP IRL"
  • Max and Doom's confrontation with Vergil.
  • Assist Me Dance Party.
  • The "Boy George" running gag.
  • Doom's 'lovely' singing voice.
  • "IT WAS YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!"
  • "Videogames! Let's Go Motherfuc*ers"
  • Anyone wants to get 'Commando Geographic: African Babies Must Die!" ?
  • The first few seconds of the "Phoenix Outtakes":
  Max: "Yeah. As we can tell you're still a pretty good... Fuck.
  Camera crew: "Whooooa!"
  Max: (Corpsing and embarrassed Face Palm)
  • Wesker demonstrates why Gun Twirling with a semi-automatic pistol is a bad idea, even with an airsoft gun.
  Wesker: You wanna see a really cool trick?
  (Wesker unholsters his pistol and starts spinning it)
  Doom: Pfft. From you, I'll bet—
  (gun misfires, with added gunshot sound and effects for comedic effect)
  Wesker: ...OW!
  Doom: HAH! Hahahahahaha! Fuckin' retard! Hahahahaha!
  • Thanos's obsession with threatening to harm his opponents with groin attacks.
  Thanos: A pathetic human has NO place trifling with the power of the Infinity Gems! (Beat) ...I'm gonna slap you right in the dick!
  (different scene)
  Max: ...Are we back?
  Thanos: IN THE DICK!
  (yet another scene)
  Thanos: Now I'm gonna kick you in the nuts! (starts Corpsing)
• VICTOR VON DOOM. Almost everything he does is hilarious, mostly because he is nothing like the actual Victor von Doom. To the point where one has to ask: "Is this a malfunctioning Doombot that wandered out of Latveria and wound up in southern California?"
• Doctor Doom Assist Me:
  • A lamenting Doom shows Max a childish drawing he made of him and Strider which prompts Max to show his even better drawing. Doom is not pleased.
  • How about this interaction when Max checks out Doom in the bathroom, thus leaving this response :
    Doom: Doom will fight gingivitis on his own!
    Max: Man, the sh*t I put up with...
• Wesker Assist Me:
  • Wesker compensating his lost childhood with his "hobbies".
  • Drunk Wesker shooting himself in the leg. Nuff said.
• X-23 Assist Me:
  • Max implying that X-23 pays for things with her...y'know. X-23 promptly pulls out her claws.
  • Doom falling for X-23 and Max watching him. To clarify, Doom sees X-23 eating some yogurt and making sexy faces in Doom's direction. Max, on the other hand, sees her just eating the yogurt like an animal and not attractively in any way.
  Max: She's all yours, buddy.
  • And then reversed when X-23 learns that Doom defeated Wesker. She sees him drinking from a chalice, Max sees him drinking milk straight from the carton and belching.
  Max: Man, I've GOT to make new friends.
  • X-23 calling Doom Al Bundy in the green tunic
• Jill Valentine Assist Me:
  • The entire EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MVC3 part. But Doom's line at the end just takes the cake.
  Doom: You used Phoenix and have a ***ty hair cut.
  • Wesker's ringtone is Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya the song that made Nyan Cat popular. It's funny cause it's Wesker.
• Ultimate Assist Me
  • Part 1
    • Doom's utter glee at Hiryu's return. Only to be disappointed when Hiryu arrives as a blank slate.
    Doom: Max! Strider's broken!
    • Hiryu picking Hawkeye as the character he really wants to see. Coupled with Doom's over-the-top disappointment.
    • Hiryu's summon being played by Ammy in a tinfoil suit.
  • Part 2
    • The fact that for the most part, Doom is the one using the fight stick for the episode (as Max is incapacitated by being Ghost Rider).
    • Doom's reaction to seeing Ghost Rider for the first time.
    • Ghost Rider using Penance Stare at Doom... And failing.
    Ghost Rider: LOOK INTO MY EYES!
    Doom: *makes a long scream and then suddenly stop with confusion* Errr...what are you trying to do?
    • At the end Max is left bright red:
    Max: I can't feel my face.
    Doom: Well you look better without one.
  • Part 3
    • The reactions of Max and Doom seeing Wesker back again and making this remark:
    Doom: WHY WON'T YOU STAY DEAD?!
    • How Wesker returned from being stuck in the ending to Resident Evil 5.
    Wesker: Hitchhiking, trainhopping, really awkwardly painful teleports.
    • Wesker's treatment of Nemesis, and Nemesis' revenge at the end.
    • Wesker upon being trapped in the television and dressed as he was in Resident Evil (a.k.a., his alternate costume in the game).
    Wesker: Good god, it's like I'm in the '90s again.
  • Part 4
    • All three Witness Testimony that Phoenix Wright brings:
    Wesker speaks out that Doom stole his girlfriend and put him in a human size blender.
    Ammy speaks out against Doom in court for eating her dog treats.

    Doom: (Wright is mortified and just stared at Doom) What?! Doom was curious!
    Max speaks out that Doom hasn't pay the rent and still owes him twenty bucks.
    • Wright's line when reading over the very long list of crimes Doom has committed.
    Wright: Really, Doom? You tried to show X-23 your Hidden Missile?
    Doom: What? It's the best assist in the game!
  • Part 5
    • Doom waking up and opening the window to see Firebrand terrorizing the town. His face just sells it.
    • Doom's vain attempt to calm down Vergil once he pushes his buttons.
    Doom: {Picks up Ammy} How about a puppy?
    Annotation: Thumbs up for Doom's new move, Puppy shield.
    • Vergil's very blunt that he won't give humanity another chance, complete with Record Needle Scratch.
  • Part 6
    • Rocket Raccoon in general. A cute little puppet being characterized as one of the most foul-mouthed and aggressive characters in the entire series is just hilarious. Even more when he outright mauls Doom's face in the middle of Max's battle against Galactus.
• Holiday Special
  • Wesker's Entrance: "Suprise, Bitches!" (clubs Doom with the present sack)
  • Doom getting a Rarity figurine. Complete proof that Doom is a Brony.
  • Wesker receiving exactly what he wanted from Doom. A blender.^note To clear up any confusion Doom blasted Wesker at Season 1 with a "human sized blender", his Level 3 Hyper.
  • Wesker giving Rocket Raccoon and Ammy way more liquor than he should be, with Wesker claiming that they're "old enough". That doesn't take into consideration their small size...
• Deadpool Assist Me:
  • Notably ANYTHING that Deadpool says.
    Deadpool: Hey! Little white box!
  • After saving Max, it leads to this gem :
    Doom: By my diagnosis, you're the biggest Troll of all, Wade.
    Deadpool: Your diagnosis? Wait, you're actually a doctor?
    Doom: What? You think Doom would take on the fancy title because he thought it sounded cool?
    (Background music cuts out. Deadpool and Max stare at Doom in disbelief)
    Doom: Oh F*ck you guys!
  • Deadpool answers the door and finds a bunch of nerds petitioning for Capcom to add more characters. Deadpool at first seems set to sign but when the nerds start getting excited about getting Mega Man, Deadpool shoots them and we get this exchange.
  Max: Oh God, it must be those Mega Man kids again!
  Doom: Should've cut Wesker that check.
• Chris Assist Me:
  • Doom getting all nervous when he sees Chris and his buds come in the house. He believes they're here his crimes.
  Doom: She said she was over 18! Uh...Doom was really drunk and... Aliens, and...DOOM HAS DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY! YOUR EVIDENCE WILL NEVER HOLD UP IN COURT!!!
  • And lets not forget Chris and Wesker meetup for the first time, catching Wesker wearing an apron:
  Chris: *confuse* Wesker?
  Wesker: *drops down everything and holds the gun* CHRIS!
  Doom: RICHARDS!!!
  (Everyone in the room look at him)
  Doom: Sorry, Doom got caught up in the moment.
  • The Mega Man kids from the Deadpool episode show up again as zombies and still keep their obession about getting him added in. Doom tells them to get over it and shoots them with the finger lasers.
• Phoenix Assist Me:
  • Max trying to remember who "Jean" was, then having it hit him and hearing Yipes yell her name in his head. As soon Max realizes Jean is Phoenix he screams in horror and jump the hell away from her.
  Doom: Heh. *shrugs. That's never happened before.
  • After telling Doom who Jean is, this happens :
  Doom: We need a roommate, you look mighty high. So Doom was going to take you upstairs to show his finger lasers but my roommate informs me that you're a fire-breathing, galaxy-destroying, level 5 Bitch from Hell. (Background music cuts out.) So we're gonna need you to take a hike. We cool?
  Max: (Nodded to himself) We're dead!
  • The scene with the movie montage. Showing Phoenix's horrible performance in X-Men: The Last Stand? Bad. Showing Doom's even suckier performance in the 2005 ''Fantastic Four'' movie? Worse. But then we get "Max's" performances in a bunch of horrible scenes in several Nicolas Cage movies. Doom puts it best:
  Doom: Check. F***ing. Mate.
  • Phoenix reading Doom and Max's minds. Max wants to simply be alone without a certain roommate-who-shall-not-be-named getting in the way of his video games. Doom's mind is simpler, though. He wants to see Phoenix and X-23 naked.
    • Followed through with a Fourth Wall Breaking scene where Max tells the film crew they can't show a scene like that on YouTube. The crew is quite disappointed.
  • Max's house is set on fire by Dark Phoenix and tells Doom to help put it out. Hilarity Ensues when Doom tries to extinguish the fire by shooting his finger lasers into Max's fridge.
  Max: Doom! That's not how you put out a fire!
  Doom: But it's all Doom knows! The finger lasers!!! (shoots the fridge with no effect on the burning house)
  • Doom's words after Phoenix disappears while using her powers to investigate the conspiracy that has been plaguing the season.
  "Does this mean I gotta find another roommate?"
• Taskmaster Assist Me:
  • Taskmaster calling Hiryu a "misplaced Mortal Kombat ninja."
  • Anything M.O.D.O.K. does. Literally.
  • Deadpool. Again, just Deadpool.
• Max and the crew were lucky enough to get an Assist Me panel at EVO 2012, and all the actors except the ones for Chris and Resident Evil 5!Jill made were there. Highlights include:
  • The opening video, which features Doom, Wesker, and X-23 in a Hangover parody. Funny parts include Doom waking up to a pirate in the bathroom, Wesker finding a tattoo on his back that says "God Tier" ("LAURA! You did this to me! This is twice now! It's not even straight!"), and the three of them finding a hooker with a striking resemblance to Resident Evil 3!Jill that they apparently had an affair with that they don't remember.
    • Wesker pulls out a receipt from his longcoat and learns that he, while drunk, purchased the tattoo himself for $600, leading to a good laugh from X-23. But then Wesker asks her and Doom to check their receipts and X-23 pulls one out from her Victoria's Secret Compartment (since she doesn't have pockets) to find out, to her embarrassment, that she drew out $800 from a Bellagio A.T.M. — $200 more than the price for Wesker's ink, earning her an Evil Laugh from the mad scientist.
  • During the Q&A, one person asked Phoenix if she could marry him.
  • Rocket Raccoon apparently passed out after being really drunk, followed by a slurred "It's Vegas baby!"
  • Doom being informed of Rarity's inclusion in My Little Pony: Fighting Is Magic, despite what Max told him. His reaction is just priceless.
• A sorta behind the scenes thing, where the Assist Me crew plays Happy Wheels. In this troper's humble opinion, the video itself is one giant Funny Moment.
• Retro Assist Me
  • Part 1
    • All the Back to the Future quotes are so forced that it's hilarious especially Doom's Doc Brown-esque techno babble which leaves Max confused as to how he could know that.
    Doom: Uhh, duh, Doctor Doom? How do you keep forgetting this?
  • Part 2
    • Doom defuses Bruce Banner's anger by showing him a picture of Felicia.
    • Thanos doesn't take defeat well, and in the scuffle between him and Max (who beat him with an infinite), Doom gets hit by the door to Family Fun Arcade (which has since closed, alas). Twice.
  • Part 3
    • Max has a Sadistic Choice not really. What's more important thousands of lives or videogames? Considering the page this is under the answer should be obvious.
    • Doom literally grinds some of Max's games for homemade Infinity Gems (as the Time Gem already on Doom's person has stopped working altogether), with the Super Nintendo games actually producing results: Street Fighter II gives him plutonium (no good as the Infinity Gauntlet runs on comic book logic) which Doom carelessly throws behind him. Street Fighter Alpha 2 gives him one gem (the wrong kind). Then Max stumbles upon Marvel Super Heroes: War of the Gems — the perfect game for the job, as it yields a number of gems.
    • Max meets himself.
    Max: Oh my god, it's Chad Kroeger.
    Redneck!Max: Good lord, it's Nicolas Cage.
    (Both Maxes scream at each other until Redneck!Max passes out.)
  • Part 4
    • Spanish Doom. Just Spanish Doom...and not to forget Max's blank-faced reaction to it. Equally funny when that disguise was able to help Hiryu escape Wesker when he was about to be apprehended. And when Doom fails to convince Wesker to be a biologist, this is what Doom says :
    Doom:Hijo De La Chingada !!!
    How about the outtakes where Spanish Doom talks in a British accent.
    • The reaction to the top-tier character in Marvel vs. Capcom 7 — Hsien-Ko of all people.
• Assist Me! Lawsuits Are Magic:
  • Hatred is Magic◊
• In the review for Injustice, Batman (Kevin Conroy's version) has taken Max and Doom hostage and orders them to talk. While Batman is interrogating Doom, Doom vows that it will be hard for Batman to mentally break Doom. Batman then decides to bring Key Lime flavored yogurt, and slowly spills it all in front of Doom, Doom begging Batman to stop. Doom relents, but Batman has another plan as he holds a My Little Pony doll of Rarity. Doom fearfully asks what Bats is going to do it. He cuts Rarity's hair with his Batarang, making Doom break down into tears. You can view it here.
  Batman: What the hell is wrong with you anyway? You're a grown-ass man watching a cartoon show for little girls.
• Max, Wesker, and Dante singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" in the Season 3 teaser.
• "Dante Assist Me"
  • Doom first answers the door to see whose knocking, only for this conversation to happen
  Dr. Doom: "Who the hell are you!?"
  DmCDante: "I'm your prom date you ugly sack of shit!"
  Dr. Doom: Fuck you!"
  DmCDante: "Fuck you!"
  Dr. Doom: "Fuuuuck you!"
  • It even becomes a running joke when Max shows a screenshot and quickly says hes not refering to that Dante.

  • And when Wesker sees Dante...
  Wesker: "Holy shit its Dante; hey, loved your work in the reboot."
  Dante: "Fuck you."
  Wesker: "Fuck you."

  Max: "You spent all my money on Filipino hookers?!"
  Doom: "They're not hookers, they're massage therapists!"
  Dante: "Yeah, they'll massage your dick for money. They have a name for that-"
  Wesker: "Hookers?"
  Doom: "You're a hooker!"

  Doom: "What does [Dante] have that Doom doesn't?"
  Wesker: "Good looks, a lot of money, a nice ride. A trench coat- dude, we gotta get you a trench coat."
  Doom: "But Doom has a royal cloak!"
  Wesker: "Yeah. So does Frodo Baggins."
• Predator fights Benny in the woods
• The Infinite season, from the preview alone, shows that Max isn't afraid to crack a few jokes about the roster. Right off the bat, we get treated to this line:
  Doom: Whaddya mean Doom isn't marketable!?
  • Doom rags on the concept of eSports (and, indirectly, Capcom's then-recent laser focus on it) after Max brings the topic up.
    Max: Maybe you should get into eSports.
    Doom: eSports? What the hell's an eSport? Sounds like a buncha nerds getting together in a Vegas hotel and playing video games together while they, uh... wiggle their joysticks.
    [Beat]
    [Doom and Max slowly turn to look at the camera, wide-eyed]