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Funny / Assassin's Creed: Valhalla

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Unmarked spoilers below.

  • When Eivor is first given the Hidden Blade and is told that it's normally worn on the inside of the arm, they take one look at the removed ring fingers Hytham and Basim have and refuse to do so, making the point that they won't make the same "mistake" they did.
  • Ceolbert’s cheerful wave goodbye to Eivor as they leave Ledecestscire immediately followed by Ivarr spotting him and giving a bemused shrug.
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  • The clash of Norway's pagan religion and England's Christianity has an element of delicious Irony due to the fact that we know Christianity would prosper and spread around the world, yet in the AC universe it's the pagan gods who keep rising from the dead.
  • At the beginning of the Glowecestrescire arc, you meet Tewdwr, the up and coming Ealdorman who is less than kind to you, then you meet current Ealdorman Cynon who promptly demands for Tewdwr to pull that figurative turnip out of his ass. After the arc which results in Tewdwr getting a new appreciation for pagan beliefs, one of the rewards for completion is a turnip.
  • Eivor's stint to Vinland includes finding and reuniting a troupe of Norse hunters out exploring. One of them is a woman who has trained a local bird to be her Animal Eye Spy like Eivor's raven or the previous two eagle-bearers. Except it turns out it's a turkey and you have to lure it back to her while suffering its pecks.
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  • There's some Black Comedy in that the Achievement/Trophy for completing the Cent arc, after Eivor finds Sigurd's severed arm in Fulke's torture den, is "Take My Hand."
  • A Norse couple have been having trouble getting a spark in their relationship. They both used to be viking raiders, though, with the kinky habit of being turned on by raiding itself, so Eivor suggests bringing the sounds and smells of battle to their home. This means breaking all their furniture and lighting the house on fire. Romance is in the air!
  • A world event involves coming across a warrior who is complaining that he has a pain in his head and it won't go away and asks Eivor if he has something on his head. Yes, it's an axe imbedded in his skull. Eivor can tell him outright or pretend that the man is perfectly fine.
  • Another world event, this time in Sciropescire, involves coming across a trio of children cheering on a locally renowned warrior, admired for his impressive technique of the "rock-hit". This "rock-hit" involves him throwing rocks into the air and use a long-handled club to swing at them and hit them at a target. Equally dubious is his mostly-white, dirtied uniform, constantly acquiescing to autographing the granite chunks he hits for his fans, and has two streaks of paint going horizontal under his eyes. His last name is even Sluggason. Eivor adds to it by mentioning that the "game" of rock-hit would be more enjoyable with "a fine mead and some popped oats".
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  • In Cent, Eivor can come across a girl being rebuked in her attempt to harvest the honeycomb from her colony of bees, saying she needs it for a friend. Upon gathering said honeycomb and placing it aside for her friend, both witness the arrival of a friendly grizzly bear named Winifred, whom the girl declares to be her best friend. Let's see: a young child that's friends with a bear; said bear enjoys eating honey; the encounter happens in a dense forest; and the girl lives inside a large, hollow tree complete with a doorway and windows. The only thing missing here is Winifred's red shirt. Even better, if you hang around, you'll see a donkey and a pig join them.
  • In Suthsexe, Eivor can hear the wailing cries of a Saxon girl in a nearby cave. Upon lifting her up and carrying her out, she laments that she is done chasing after rabbits into holes. The name of the quest is even called Alisa in Wunderlandscire.
  • Further still in Suthsexe, Eivor can happen upon a bonfire going on in some ruins. A mysterious voice commands them to part with their valuables and live. The Viking is not so easily duped and follows the apparent trail of small fires conjuring the smoke to the hideout of a group of Saxons. There, they learn of the men's situation in using the fog and ventriloquism skills to acquire goods to supplement the loss of their homesteads to raiders. Eivor can wash the dirt with their blood, bid them a gruff farewell, or give them some helpful pointers on how to be more effective "ghosts".
  • Yet more in Suthsexe, Eivor can happen upon a couple arguing aloud near the road. The wife longs to visit a nearby site hosting a supposed rock of divine power that can grant its female visitors fertility in a single night, while the husband is skeptical and fears for both their safety. Once Eivor escorts the wife there themselves, they both discover the "rock" is actually a man living on-site so-called "The Rock". He offers to beget them both fertility, though only the wife follows after him to a private bedroll. As one can imagine, the wife very likely got her wish of fertility...
  • Traipsing through the snowy tundra of Eurvicscire, Eivor can happen upon a man standing on a stone plateau, screaming at a docile bunny he calls "Loki Rabbit", declaring his hope that the apparent God of Mischief will send him a champion to fight in a holmgang. The man's title is even plainly "Thickskull" during the bare-handed brawl. Afterwards, Eivor can follow the wayward "Loki Rabbit" to a hidden stash with a high-value trinket inside, something the battle-hungry "Thickskull" would never know was there.
  • A pair of World Events in Snotinghamscire involves Eivor assisting in the efforts of a band of vigilantes engaging in efforts to combat the Pict insurrection, what he calls his "band of merry rogues and knaves". The fun starts immediately when their leader, Ryce Sherwin, demonstrates his archery skills and the mission his group follows to ensure "the poor get richer and the richer get poorer." while they make base in a woodland hideout, Sherwood. The other members of the group? A man in priestly robes named Tuck, a slow-minded giant of a man named Little John, and a battle-ready Saxon woman pushing the group to learn archery. Sounds familiar, right?
  • Helping out a young boy in Wincestre to retrieve a beautiful flower in turn leads to Eivor witnessing the bold youth giving said flower to the daughter of King Aelfred, to which the Queen demurely opines that, once he's gotten "a little older", then his whimsical declaration of betrothal might be taken more seriously. The boy goes back to his friends, who humorously comment that it takes more than sharing a flower to be betrothed. Such as hand-holding, "grunting", and repeat declarations to the Lord of "O, God! O God!"
  • Sometimes, the target of one of Reda's bounties will be one of the training dummies. Apparently, anything with a health bar is a valid target as far as the game is concerned.
  • Eivor and Petra's Mushroom Samba experience. They're trying to find Wallace, who has been gone a suspiciously long time on a routine trip to a nearby town, and ingest some stew they found at his potential campsite. What follows is chasing a white elk, Petra discovering the ability to teleport, and attempting to ask rabbits if they had seen Wallace. Thankfully it wears off just in time for Wallace to catch up with them and inform him about the weird mushrooms he had found and made into a stew and how he had to trudge back to Ravensthorpe, in the nude no less, and then set out to find them.
  • During Eivor-as-Odin's adventures in Jotunheim, they can have a world event where they can learn about the world they're in. If they keep drinking, they end up passed out and yes, the All-Father of Asgard had a What Did I Do Last Night? episode. They somehow manage to get a cart onto a roof.
  • A further adventure in Jotunheim involves trying to acquire one of the Ymir Blood Stone objects of the region's Wealth. When Eivor-as-Odin finds the right angle to dispel the Jotnar magic, they find a wedding venue for a long-ago Aesir-Jotnar wedding. On a stool, the notes used by the apparent officiator of the wedding start out hopeful, then begin to get less eloquent as the Jotun seems perplexed on the need to speak so formally. Until they just give up, wish the newlyweds well, and start doodling on the same document.
  • When Basim/Loki sees Layla's laptop in the epilogue, he grouses about having to use his hands and voice to use it as opposed to thought commands like Isu technology.
  • Basim/Loki is also surprised that the Hidden Ones have changed their names to the Assassins.
  • During Gunnar and Brigid's wedding, Randvi will say she found Brigid's vows moving while Eivor confesses they haven't understood a single word she's said since they met her.
  • In Jotunheim, one of its Mysteries is Odin having a flyting battle with none other than Ratatoskr, the squirrel that delivers messages up and down Yggdrasil, which has the voice of a child. The concept is about as silly as it sounds.
  • In Eivor's flyting duel with a monk who has taken a vow of silence, Acolyte Alwin (serving as the man's interpreter) will clap if Eivor does a successful rhyme in the second part, causing the flyting monk to do an Aside Glance and give him a Death Glare.
  • Havi and Thor can have a flyting duel... by yelling at each other from opposite cliffs.
  • In the Valhalla simulation, the Running Gag of Sigurd losing his right arm after each battle against the Einherjar.
    Sigurd: (clutching the stump of his right arm) Always with the fucking arm!
    • The first time Eivor goes through the golden fields of Valhalla, after slashing through a few opponents effortlessly, they will yell "Sigurd! Look at me!" like a kid trying to get someone's attention to demonstrate a cartwheel. Half funny, half adorable.
  • One flyting contest has you and your opponent take a drink before each flyte. Each round, Eivor's responses get more slurred, until the last one is absolute gibberish. And the challenger praises Eivor's clever wit!
  • In Essexe, one world event has Eivor lend a helping hand to a group of bards who proclaim themselves "musical prodigies" being harangued by a bishop who claims their music is "the Devil's bagpipes." Eivor proceeds to fistfight the bishop, and if they stick around for a bit, the bards begin singing "smack my bishop! Smack my bishop!" In case the reference wasn't already obvious, if Eivor pulls out their torch in front of them, they instead sing "you are a firestarter!"
  • When Ivarr introduces Ceolbert, saying that he'll be accompanying them all to Tamworth Fortress to become battle-hardened at the behest of his father, one of Eivor's three responses can be "This is a bad idea."
    Eivor: Are you sure that's what Ceowulf wants?
  • After the battle at Tamworth Fortress, Ivarr takes a seat on King Burgred's throne. When you return to him after searching the longhouse, he has fallen asleep and is snoring loudly.
  • The mission to confront Tonna has a few gems:
    • Sigurd tells Eivor that the Ragnarssons are staying behind, because it's better for Tonna to believe they've come alone; in a quieter voice, he says that it's more because Ivarr has been ranting about how badly he wants to put an axe in her head and he's not sure they'll be able to stop him.
    • Upon approaching Tonna, Sigurd encourages Eivor to keep talking if Tonna takes a liking to them.
      Eivor: She's more your type, I think.
      Sigurd: No, no, this is your challenge.
  • Before Ceowulf's crowning, Eivor and Ivarr get drunk together. When Eivor wakes up in the morning, the player can walk a few feet away from their resting place and find a barrel. On top of it is a handful of small items (including a small animal skull and a wooden cross) all carefully balanced on top of one another, apparently assembled by Eivor and Ivarr while they were drunk.
  • It turns out you can cheat at cairn stacking by putting an oil jar in the stacking area and stacking the rocks on top of that. And after you're done, you can shoot the jar to blow up the stack, letting you finally take revenge on what is considered one of the most annoying side activities in the game!
  • While the ending to the modern day portion of the game is mostly a Wham Episode that takes all sorts of twists and turns, one chuckle-worthy moment happens when Basim/Loki tries to get a bit of empathy from Shaun and Rebecca.
    Basim/Loki: This is a lot, I know. I'm in the same situation.

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