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Funny / Archipelago Exodus

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  • Kaida and the Amarante
    • Link: After Rhometer conjured a handful of monstrous pink butterflies, the consequences according to the butterfly effect were inevitable.
    On the other side of the world, mountains crumbled, the earth split in twain, and the seas regurgitated hideous monsters.
  • The Crystal Part 2: Strained Alliance
    • Link: An under-the-radar Blaise/Terrian Ship Tease in his conversation with Esther, while correcting her on the pronunciation of Blaise's last name (Euler):
    "Oiler, by the way," he said.
    "You what her?"
  • Ishkabibble
    [Lucas] reclined the chair, and proceeded to ignore Mandelbrot. He much preferred causing women to suffer, anyway.
    Guess what, Lucas?
    • Link: Nico uncharacteristically breaks out the snark.
    "You want to put that little theory to the test, fatass?" Cesare growled, bringing up his gun for the first time.
    [later, by way of translation:]
    Without missing a beat, the youngest brother said to Jonas, "Cesare's simply curious how it was that Vinnie, Phil and Dom's visit degraded into a shootout. He'd like to know how the scene played out. He also considers you disastrously overweight."
  • Obscured Truth: Court is in Session
    • Link (and a handful of posts following): When Nopcsa and Williams locked eyes, you knew some barbs were on the way.
    "So, Mr. Nopcsa, let me say this very clearly, because I'm sure it's hard to hear just now with all the gallons of fruit bat blood rushing to your brain."
    “You know what? Just let me just say two things, and then I’ll skedaddle, okay? Then you all can go back to your whole argumentum ad metum deal, and watercooler talks about the viability of tinfoil hats.”
  • What Lurks Beyond the Dark
    • Link (and subsequent post): Right in the middle of an unexpectedly awkward reunion between Illiana and Channery. When Illiana admits that she wasn't expecting Channery to show up, the latter responds:
    "Yeah, sorry, babe, I'm kinda boring. Walkin' around all day like a normal person and such. But it looks like I'm all you got so far... Unless one of your COOL FRIENDS is about to come busting through that wall like the Kool-Aid guy." She gestured to a nearby rock face, bristling with icicles that caught the setting sun against the dark sky in a mixture of pink and blue light.
    Cue a post by Lee in which one of his characters does exactly that. An unseen pilot driving a mechanical quadruped bursts clean through the rock wall, shouting the two women's names. The Mood Whiplash is exquisite, and it's even funnier with the knowledge that Channery's author Pohatu had no idea Lee was going to pull that move - which means that both character and author were equally Tempting Fate with that line.
  • (Dis)Orientation
    • Link: Emily's cheerfully troubling response to Almudena's accusation of eavesdropping.
    "Don't be silly, Alma! I'm the dean! Technically, nothing I do counts as eavesdropping!"
    • Link: Lee proves himself master of comedic Mood Whiplash once again with Emma Ray Jo's post following the near-cataclysmic demonstration by Talia.
    If there was one thing Emma Ray Jo knew how to do, and she knew it sure as chickens have a hankering for spaghetti, it was how to take cover when the building you were in decided to up and collapse.
    • Link: Following Kilik, Carlos and Evelyn's departure from the gym, Kilik gives us this gem when guessing what's happening on the stage.
    "I can't speak for Silumas, but he's probably at the point of his speech where's calling himself the Master of Italics, Ruler of an Abacus Somewhere."
  • All the King's Men
    "To clarify something before we get started, I graduated magna cum laude with a Master's Degree in Law from Paymarble University, and passed my boards in Salcester. And according to the precedent set by the ruling of the Archipelago Supreme Court in Halfield v. Monmorency, any individual who can successfully get a law degree and get board certified is then able to practice law within the Archipelago, regardless of their humanity of lack thereof." She shot a defiant look around the room, her fuchsia eyes almost glowing. "In fact, one of my peers is an intelligent shade of the color lavender. He specializes in divorce proceedings."

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