Funny / Archer Season Eleven

The Orpheus Gambit

• Archer's way of remembering Woodhouse is to carry around aquarium gravel, because it reminds him of all the times he force-fed it to Woodhouse as a punishment.
  "He hated the turquoise..."
  • Archer promises Malory that he'll give the new valet she hired a fair chance. Then fires the man because he showed up one minute late.
• Archer's reaction to Cyril's new muscular physique.
  Archer: Hey, steroid abuse is not a solution, no matter how inadequate you feel, or in fact are.
• Mallory tries to broker a deal with Agent Bruchstein after the team's incompetence results in the statue being stolen.
  Mallory: Well, if you could get fired over this I'm sure...
  Bruchstein: (laughing) Fired? Oh no, no, no. Europe's labor laws are much too strong for that.
  Mallory: Reprimanded?
  Bruchstein: Not with my union.
• Archer visibly cringing when he's told his role while fighting Peregrin and her accomplice will be to provide suppressing fire.

Bloodsploosh

• The fact that the mission involves the cast going undercover at the Kumite, which is a fictional martial arts tournament from the Bloodsport. Considering how much of a Manchild the arms dealer running the tournament is, it's entirely believable he just ripped off the movie.
• Archer manages to electrocute himself with his own cane. When the others ask if he's dead, Krieger insists that the cane was specifically programmed so that Archer would be unable to shock himself to death. Lana asks if Krieger did this with the intention of putting Archer into another coma so that he could study his brain; Krieger immediately hangs up.
• "New-better" Cheryl attributes her transformation to Jesus, then specifies that Jesus was the guy who pumped out her stomach after her most recent drug overdose.
• The mysterious and imposing Dragon Fire turns out to be Conway Sterns! Who cheerfully greets both Pam and Cheryl, the latter whom he's currently choking to death.
• After cheerfully beating the shit out of Pam, Conway completely loses his cool when a falling shard of glass cuts off another of his appendages. This time, he loses a foot, and complains that it hurts much worse than losing either of his hands.
  • And he announces Conway Stern is not his real name, but in a very unsure tone as if even he's not sure anymore, and says "I'll never tell."

Helping Hands

• Cheryl nearly chokes to death on a shrimp before Malory reminds her that it's Pam who's allergic to shellfish, not her. Cheryl then asks if Malory could inject her with a epi-pen anyway.
• Mitsuko's latest incarnation is a Stringy-Haired Ghost Girl. Pam complains that she's really not a fun hang.
• Cheryl's latest compulsion is lying to Archer in the hopes of destroying what's left of his sanity.
• The voicemails return, and this time Malory gets one on Archer.

Robot Factory

• Cyril is back to being the Butt-Monkey, with Archer, Barry, and even Lana belittling him throughout the episode.
• Archer vents his frustrations by shooting at the dicks of various Barry robots right in front of Barry.

Best Friends

• When Archer states that he is no longer looking for a valet, Krieger is saddened, and then proceeds to flush the four Woodhouse clones he's been growing.
• Cyril almost falls down the broken elevator shaft, despite being in it just a few hours ago and knowing it's broken. It's even lampshaded by Archer.
• Aleister reveals that the reason he used Archer to get to Cyril is because he believes the two to be best friends. He even gives valid reasons for why he would think that.
  Aleister: It's a classic odd couple fight!
  • While Cyril is happy to hear that, Archer is outraged.

The Double Date

• In order to help Cyril take care of the enormous restaurant bill he was left with, Cheryl takes a deep breath, and screams this:
  Cheryl: THIS WAITER JUST TOUCHED MY BREAAAASTS!
• While venting his anger at a pitching machine, Cyril gets a baseball pitched into his groin at point blank range.

Caught Napping

• Archer wakes up on a plane, and assumes he's been drugged, only for it to turn out Robert brought him there to help him save AJ who's been kidnapped. He didn't drug Archer, he was just drunk off his ass. Then Robert points out he brought the rest of the team as well, because he wasn't sure what kind of manpower would be needed. Them he did drug, showing them passed out in a big pile.
  • He also wasn't sure what kind of equipment they'd need, so he just went to an arms dealer and asked for "one of each", resulting in a huge pile of guns, explosives, and spy gear.
    Krieger: Need that, need that, have that, need that, that violates the Geneva Convention...
• Lana killing Peregrin by emptying an entire magazine into her. Then taking Archers gun and emptying that as well. She would've kept going if more guns were available.
• While Archer was in a coma, Lana brought AJ to visit him. AJ reveals that she called him Sleeping Beauty, while Lana called him a sperm delivery device.
  Lana: ...I said that one time.

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