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     Season 1 
  • All 6 episodes.
"Pilot"
  • In a nice Establishing Character Moment, Arbiter gives a educated and logically opinion on why the Heroic Map Pack should be a free download instead of paying $10. Chiefs response?
    Chief: taht wuz quit3 a mouthful!!1 / i gess ur used 2 that kind of thign
    Arbiter: Nice one! I see what you did there. Instead of addressing my points, you took everything that I said and turned it into a sexual joke, implying that I suck men's penises. Fantastic.
    Chief: LOLOLLOLOLLOLOL
  • Then we get Arbiter's first hand look at Chief's playing skills:
"Recon"
  • In Chief's mind, Arbiter hates Halo and Bungie just because he didn't like the Heroic Map Pack, even pointing out that there's a post on Bungie's website agreeing with him.
    Arbiter: They're being sarcastic, retard. It wouldn't make sense for them to post a link to a video on their front page that they honestly didn't like and give it a lot more attention. But of course, idiots like you jump to conclusions and go running your mouth off without putting an ounce of thought into anything first. I bet you're probably typing a comment right now saying how much Bungie hates me.
    Master Chief: (After deleting his post which is what Arbiter was accusing him of doing) no / stfu
  • This line which sums up Chief's personality
    Master Chief: :(, u adn ur big wurdz
    Arbiter: I'm not even using big words. You're just an idiot. You should try reading a book one of these days instead of logging on to fucking lolcats.com all the time.
  • Chief's plan to get Recon Armor? Gather a team of of invisible ninjas, the magnifying glass the size of Redmond, Washington, the Batmobile, Sam Fisher, Chris Redfield, Solid Snake Captain MacMillan, and the Millennium Falcon for them to skydive from. Arbiter has to politely tell Chief that none of those things are real.
"Attitude"
  • Master Chief trolling his Halo teammates since he got Recon Armor.
  • This.
    Arbiter: "You've got a real fuckin' attitude problem!"
    Chief: "uve got a r33l fuckign FACE problim"
  • Later on, Master Chief breaks the Call of Duty Modern Warfare disc out of anger towards Arbiter. As he tries to flush the case (unsuccessfully) Arbiter yells for him asking if he's seen it anywhere. When he says no and Arbiter asks if he's in there having A Date with Rosie Palms, Chief denies it, thinks for a moment, then 'admits' it to get him to go away.
  • When Arbiter demands where it is, Chief gives him a poorly drawn case called "Cock off Doody 4: Modirn Wurfurrr".
    • Amazing how much emotion you can convey with an Arbiter action figure and a monotone speech generator...
    Arbiter: *hands trembling in sheer shock and incredulity* What in Christ's name is this?
    • Bonus points for Chief using a chocolate chip cookie to replace the broken disc.
"Melee"
  • Chief overreacts greatly to losing to Arbiter because of Halo 3's Melee system.
    • When getting on the computer to write an angry e-mail to Bungie, Chief deletes the shortcut to Firefox for no apparent reason before opening Internet Explorer.
"Martydom"
  • Master Chief is playing Devil May Cry 4 because Halo 3 is very laggy. Arbiter wonders if it's because of the 700 gigs of porn he's downloading, before asking how he's going to store all that.
    Chief: dun wury / i hav........... / 2 FLOPY DISKZ
    Arbiter: That is absolutely disgusting.
    Chief: no u
    • Then when Arbiter decides to play Call of Duty 4, he cancels the download, much to Chiefs dismay.
  • Chief decides to try Call of Duty 4, only to find that it's way different than Halo 3.
    Chief: wtf gernaed but0n no work!
    Arbiter: Left trigger is to aim down the gun sight.
    Chief: thats fucking retarted / wheres the gh0st
    Arbiter: No vehicles.
    Chief: >:O (very angry surprised face)
    • And then there's his "attempt" to play the game.
    Chief: "say helo 2 mai littel frind." (Shoots randomly into the hallway) "hhahahahhahahahahahhahah"
    Arbiter: "Mother of God, you are the BIGGEST nub I have ever seen. I'm ACTUALLY embarrassed to be sitting next to you right now... Everyone on your team thinks you're retarded."
"Brawl"

     Season 2 
"Girls"
  • Chief sprays himself with Tag body spray, and used the ENTIRE can which took him 30 minutes. Arbiter takes one whiff, and reacts horribly.
  • Chief displays a complete lack of knowledge as to how condoms are used, proposing that him and Arbiter blow them up like balloons, and later fitting a condom over his entire body while "cybering".
  • Arbiter's method on training Chief on respecting women is to beat him with a stick if he makes a sexist comment.
"Legendary"
  • Chief's map is just respawn points, weapons, vehicles, and large structures piled up in one big mess in Avalanche.
    Chief: "cortana's got mai back rite baby?"
    Cortana: "This map is the worst piece of shit I've ever seen in my life."
    Chief: "SHUT UP SKANKY HO [Arbiter quickly turns] WAT WOOD U NO N E WAYS? UR JUST A GRILL U ONLY NO HAO 2 MAEK SAMICHES AND BUY TAMPONZ LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO[Cortana hits Chief with a frying pan] LOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL-"
"Newcomers""Cortana"
  • The parts involving Arbiter and Travis playing Grand Theft Auto IV. At one point Travis snatching the controller away from Arbiter and doing dumb things like starting a shootout at a strip club.
  • Todd and Cortana spend some time with each other with a jealous Chief watching.
    Cortana: I'm a girl gamer living with an alien, and a sexist, mentally defective homophobe who's daily activities consist of going on "lolcats.com" and watching porn.
    Chief: wtf sh3 caled me an alein DUM BITCH
  • Chiefs plans to get Cortana and Todd to break up:
"Conflict, Pt. 1"
  • Everything about Jeremy, aka xXxSm0k3w33d4LyPh3420xXx.
    • This crowning moment:
    Chief: tel ur dad hes a fucking asshoel
    • It then goes to him and his dad arguing more, culminating in Jeremy crying for his mom before his Xbox is turned off. The GTA players from earlier are soon laughing about this; as is the audience.
"Conflict, Pt. 2"
  • BLOOD PLZ K THX LOL
  • Chief's "apology" to Todd and Travis:
    Chief: tod travis im....... sry *beat* TAHT UR SO GHEY
    Arbiter: Hey! *restrains Chief once again*
    Chief: IMA KIK UR ASSEZ WTF LET ME GO GOD DAMIT AAAAAAAAA
    Cortana: Bad Master Chief! Bad!
    Chief: TIHS R NOT TEH EDN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • The scene where Arbiter faces a kid on Xbox Live who thinks mindlessly spamming grenades into a gravity lift makes him good at throwing them. Even funnier is when Arbiter guns him down, he fumbles around with his rifle missing almost every shot and lets out a shrill scream upon dying.
    Arbiter: Jesus.
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     Season 3 
"Cold"
  • In an effort to pay for the Cold Storage dlc, Cheif goes outside with a mug and collect change. However, after nine hours, all he came back with was a cup full of spit.
"Wedding"
  • Pretty much the entirety of "Wedding". Special mention goes to Chief crashing the wedding.
  • Arbiter bribing Chief with $10 just so he can come.
"Professional"
  • Chief decides to Rick Roll Arbiter just so he can play Halo 3. Even better; Arbiter knows that Chief is trying to get him to do so, and initially refuses before giving in. After one fake Halo 3:Recon video later:
    Arbiter: (throws a box of tissues at Chief) YOU'RE A FUCKING DOUCHE. That shit is SO overdone. I bet Rick Astley is pissed right off.
"Showdown"
  • Despite being MLG, Craig shows the gameplay style of a seven year old by grabbing all the power weapons and camping. All in the span of 2 minutes.
  • When he's confident that he will win, Craig decides to masturbate in the middle of the match. And then his parent's catch him in the middle of it.
  • Craig's Villainous Breakdown:
    CRAIG: (sobbing) I lost! I lost to a noob! I'm MLG! I can't lose! No one's gonna think I'm cool anymore!
    Arbiter: No one gives a shit you blubbering suck-ass pussy.
  • The scenes with Josh Butterballs in "Cheater" (Episode 8) , and "Evil" (Episode 12).

     Season 4 
  • GO FASTER
    • GOOOOOO
  • One word: Oops.
  • Swan dive!

     Season 5 

     Season 6 

     Season 7 
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     Season 8 
  • Episode 10 "Future Shock" is all about the revived duo catching up with the last few years of everything that's happened in the world. Chief gets to go through three different cycles of his standard 'the newest Halo with the best graphics is the best game ever and all the old ones are garbage' spiel in about 15 minutes as he gets introduced to half a decade of Halo and Xbox development one step at a time. He finally settles on The Master Chief Collection as the current best Halo, as it's the one he discovered last (not realizing it's a compilation of all the 'old garbage' Halos that came out before 5).
  • In "Hello, World!", Josh Butterballs talks about how Trent Donnovich was sent to prison and raped on a daily basis, before showing a video from the prison shower room of him being raped, which is apparently okay because a trigger warning was given out two seconds before showing it.
    • Arbiter finally corrects Chief when he mixes up "pedophile" with "pedestrian"...only for it to turn out that Chief genuinely, seriously confuses the two words for each other as he goes on a small rant about how pedophiles aren't hurting anyone.
  • Ray Cist's entire livestream with Arbiter and Chief in "Alt-Right-Delete".
    • Arbiter, needing to piss, leaves Chief alone and urges him not to piss anyone else off. Cue Chief deliberately insulting an SJW by agreeing to be everything he accuses him of. Eventually, he "admits" that he's the leader of the Alt-Right.

     Hypermail 
  • The beginning of "A Scientific Fax" where Chief rejoices about the announcement of Halo 4.
  • That shit is so esey. I culd gets all thoes badgers in liek a minits. Just using my ass. Blind foldid. Upsied downs. Evin if I was on fiers. And atacked by bears and rapters. Whiel I was sl33ping. Undar Watar. In spaes. LOL.
  • When a fan asks how the hell Arbiter and Chief are filming themselves without holding the camera, Arbiter attempts to Hand Wave it away by claiming that they use a sophisticated pulley system. Chief asks what the hell he's talking about and points out that Jon is currently filming them.
    • Jon gives him a middle finger in response.

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