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Funny / Alien Nation

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Note that some of these apply to both the 1988 movie and the subsequent TV series.

1988 Movie

  • Newcomers get intoxicated on sour milk!
  • In the film, George tells Matt his true Tenctonese name, "Stangya Tsorentss'aa." Matt responds by saying, "Gesundheit." Then he goes on to mock some of the names the Tenctonese have chosen for themselves, like Harley Davidson. George deflates him with this:
    George: It is like your name....Sykes. I'm sure it doesn't bother you at all that it sounds like "ss'ai k'ss," two words in my language which mean "excrement" and "cranium."
    [Matt looks at George quizzically]
    George: Shithead.
    • When the series rolls around, Matt nods his head in resignation every time he tells a Newcomer his name, basically saying, "Yeah, I know already."
  • At one point George and Sykes pull a Good Cop/Bad Cop routine on a suspect. George pins the guy to the wall and is screaming with rage, while Sykes calmly explains to the suspect why he should cooperate.
    Sykes: I've seen [George] rip a guy's spine out of his back. I wanted to stop him, but I was too busy throwing up.

TV Show

  • It's kinda funny that Cathy can't understand how someone can watch something as violent as The Three Stooges, and then think a movie like The Love Bug is great.
    • "And the language! Do you know what 'nyuk, nyuk, nyuk' means in Tenctonese?"
  • George's ling-pod pain relief exercises.
  • The first time the sour milk thing comes up in the series. George is impressed to find a bottle of milk in Matt's fridge that is dated August.
  • Emily going off on a rant in Tenctonese because her new TV was going to charity. And based on George's reaction, that kid's got a mouth on her!
    Emily: (swearing in Tenctonese) !$# "/!- !#¢!
    George: (to his wife, with a look of shock and horror on his face) Did you hear that?
    Emily: (still swearing in Tenctonese) !¢# *!!$ **z!# &!!?! - -
    • And yes, those are the actual subtitles.
  • George and Matt pulling a little Good Cop/Bad Cop routine with a suspect, with George acting like a raging, violent psychopathic bad cop threatening to eat the suspect's face, and Matt as the good cop trying his best to restrain him. Then Matt tells George he was hurting him, to which he gives Matt a quiet, contrite "Oh! Sorry"...before resuming the act.
    Then I will eat your face?
  • A Newcomer takes a Love Potion without his knowledge, and then he ends up falling in love with the first person he sees. And who is the first person this lovestruck Newcomer sees? Matt. Cathy found the whole thing hilarious.
    Cathy: Did you have sex?
    Newcomer: (stares longingly at Matt) Not yet.
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  • Captain Grazer promotes the precinct's new mandatory psych evals as, "A great way to help our brotherhood serve our community better." While his hand is on a black guy's shoulder. And the black guy is giving him a look that says, "Don't touch me."
  • George is in full support of the psych evaluations...until he learns that his own eval says he is a control freak. He's has a few sour grapes about it.
    George: Do you realise that in psychological terms 'control freak' translates to 'anal retentive'? If [the psychiatrist] had any knowledge of science whatsoever, she would know that anal retention in Newcomers is a physiological impossibility.
    • And then there's this gem not long after, after George eavesdrops on Matt's phonecall:
    Matt: You listening in on my phone conversations again, George? You know, that's all tied in with that anal stuff.
    George: It's not anal; it's auralNote .
  • Grazer boasts to the psychiatrist during his evaluation that he has no doubts about his leadership abilities...then it cuts to him standing naked on a desk, covering his private parts with a giant police badge while other cops are panicking all around him.
  • A company meeting is supposed to get a video conference call but instead is patched into a video phone sex line. The, ahem, lady on the other end of the call is killed while she is in the middle of her strip tease and the killer then shoots out the camera. But not before he calls the executives watching a bunch of perverts.
  • An emergency broadcast test starts up on Matt's television and begins to emit a high pitched tone, making Cathy have a reaction. Matt thinks that the tone is hurting her and switches his TV off. It turns out that particular tone is very arousing to Newcomers.
    • Not only that, but Cathy looked as though she was just a few seconds away from having an orgasm, and she seemed a little disappointed when Matt switched the TV off.
  • George has asked Matt to be a Godfather to his new child, but he admits to having a few...reservations about what being a godfather means, according to the book he read. What was the book? The Godfather.
  • George trying to teach little league Baseball. Trying.
George laments that he was not doing so well at being a parent, even complaining, "And this 'Mister Spock' book is no help!" To which Matt replies, "It's Doctor Spock. Mister Spock is one of you guys."
  • Which makes it Hilarious in Hindsight, as Gary Graham went on to play Vulcan Ambassador Soval in Star Trek: Enterprise. So, technically, Mister Spock is actually one of his guys.

TV Movies

Alien Nation: The TV Movie

  • Sergeant Dobbs (a black man) tells a Newcomer officer, "I thought all you guys were supposed to be whiz-kids," referring to Albert, the Newcomer precinct janitor, who was a little slow. The Newcomer cop tells him in response, "I thought all you guys had rhythm."

Alien Nation: Dark Horizon

Alien Nation: Body and Soul

  • Newcomers get aroused from humming, so Matt starts humming the star-spangled banner.
  • Matt and Cathy are about to try having sex for the first time, but Cathy has a few reservations about the possibility of hurting him. Cue Matt suddenly screaming in pain.
    • Then it's revealed in a later scene that Cathy did something to his neck. And to make this just a little funnier, George takes one look at Matt and knows what they were up to.
    George: Oh my! Did you and Cathy try to copulate last night?
    • Making it even funnier is that George isn't even the only person who knew what Matt and Cathy were trying. Albert knew too.
  • The look on Matt's face when he sees George eating a weasel donut. That's right, a weasel donut.
    George: They make a jelly weasel, too!
  • Cathy suggests that she and Matt see a professional about the problems they're having with their attempts at, ahem, interspecies coupling. Matt thinks she's talking about prostitutes.
  • Susan is worried that Buck isn't dating, and that all his friends are male. George, being George, comes up with this reply: "There's nothing wrong with dating males. You're not falling into that human hydrophobia, are you?"
  • Matt singing, "The Jones bone's connected to the, the Penn bone. The Penn bone's connected to the, the Tivoli bone."

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