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  • He got hit in the face by a fan-thrown coconut cream pie during one concert, while crouched theatrically over a devil shrine. The amazing part is, he stayed in character, dipping a finger in the pie filling and licking it off while wearing a Slasher Smile.
  • From "No More Mr. Nice Guy": I went to church incognito/When everybody rose/The Reverend Smith/He recognized me...and punched me in the nose!
    • “My dog bit me on the leg today, my cat clawed my eyes...”
  • "I Love America". Especially Alice as a car salesman.
  • "Lost in America"—"So I'm lookin' for a girl with a gun and a job! And a house...with cable"
  • The monologue in "King Of The Silver Screen" is utterly ridiculous, and set to the freakin' Battle Hymn Of The Republic, of all things!
    Alice: YES! I'M THE QUEEN OF THE SILVER SCREEN! I ADMIT IT TO ALL MY FELLOW WORKERS! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I'M TIRED OF CLOSETS! I'M GONNA EAT MY MAKEUP FOR LUNCH TODAY! JUST STOP HITTIN' ME AGAIN! ALRIGHT, GUYS?! I'M GOING TO HOLLYWOOD TO BE A STARLET! I KNOW I'M 240 POUNDS AND PLAY CENTER FOR THE DETROIT LIONS! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I LIKE MAKEUP! AND DRESSES! AND HOLLYWOOD! I'LL MAKE SOMEBODY A GREAT LITTLE WIFE!!!!!!!!
  • The call-and-response ending to "Department of Youth": "Who's got the power?" "WE DO!" "And who gave it to you?" "DONNY OSMOND!" "WHAT!?"
  • While guest-hosting Never Mind the Buzzcocks, he talks about attending a party hosted by Elvis Presley, during which Elvis handed him a loaded revolver so he could show off his karate skills.
    Alice: The little devil here on my shoulder says, "Shoot him." The little angel over here says, "Don't kill him, just wound him."
  • Alice's unorthodox campaign speech in "Elected".
    Alice: I know we have problems. We got problems right here in Central City. We have problems on the North, South, East and West. New York City, Saint Louis, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, Detroit, Chicago. EVERYBODY HAS PROBLEMS. AND PERSONALLY... I don't care.

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