Funny / Agents Of SHIELD Season Four

Funny Moments from Season Four of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..

For funny moments from other seasons, go to the appropriate page.

• Season One
• Season Two
• Season Three
• Season Four
• Season Five
• Season Six
• Season Seven

Season Four

The Ghost

• Mack and Coulson had to report to a report of an Inhuman that turned out to be some stoners.
  Mack: Jokers, hungry for attention.
  Coulson: And potato chips. If the munchies was a superpower, they'd be signing the Sokovia Accords as we speak.
• Fitz gets Mack an exploding pen, to which Coulson gives him a look.
  Mack: What, you never wanted one?
• Yo-Yo is moving through security and asks one of the agents how his pregnant wife is.
  Agent Davis: Getting bigger every day!
  Elena: Oh, don't tell her that.
  Agent Davis: More beautiful every day.
  Elena: There you go.
• Elena calling Mack "Turtleman" and him being utterly flustered at her flirting.
• Mack's annoyance at some of the new abilities Coulson's robotic hand has.
  Mack: Aw man, no fair!
  Coulson: You wanted tech like this, you should have cut off your own hand.
• May's strike force arrives immediately after Mack calls for backup, causing Coulson to remark on their efficiency. While Mack just stares dumbfounded at his phone.
• A bit of Black Comedy when Mack mentions that Aryan Brotherhood is "not my kind of brothers".
• Simmons is testing Fitz's new Virtual Reality tech, everything seems to be going well except she is walking a meter over the ground.
  • After Simmons takes off the headset, Fitz says that pretty soon, they won't need goggles, as the device will link directly to their mind. Simmons says that this will allow May's new strike team to train in a simulation, rather than in the real world, where May keeps breaking their bones.
• Fitz' reaction to Aida's new body.
  Fitz: What the hell.
  Radcliffe: [about Aida crashing] I just upped her PSU to compensate for her image processing. Must have over-cranked it. I'll reboot.
  Fitz: Nuhnuhnuhnuh. That's not what I meant. I meant... what the hell?!
  Radcliffe: Well, you've already met Aida, digital personal assistant, as a voice on the computer. So, uh...I built her a body.
  Fitz: Yeah, a naked body!
  • A minute later, Radcliffe refers to Aida's body as it, and Fitz remarks that it's definitely a she, because he got a good look.
• May's snarking at the rainbow-y security classification system put in place by the new Director. Simmons' injection of "Spectrum of Security" gets an eye-roll.
• Simmons has been given a promotion, with her official position as "Special Advisor to the Director in Science and Technology". Or, as Fitz points out, S.A.D.I.S.T.
• While reviewing the notes on Ghost Rider's kills in the Cold Open, Mack realizes that the Rider killed a man with a reverse Ass Shove:
  Mack: Spine pulled out the guy's—oh.

Meet the New Boss

• Daisy and Robbie discussing the source of his powers.
  Robbie: You're looking to save my soul? I'm telling you, girl, I sold mine.
  Daisy: To... the Devil.
  Robbie: He was the only one who was buying, you know?
• Daisy says she wants answers, same as Robbie. He claims they don't want the same things. She points out that he pulled a "Not So Different" Remark speech on her not ten seconds ago.
• Daisy spends about seven minutes of this episode trolling the crap out of Robbie in front of his boss while posing as an old childhood friend of his as a way of letting him know that she's got his personal history committed to memory. But then she mentions his brother... which proves to be a bad idea.
• When the reactor is going critical, Fitz and Mack get into an argument about whose fault it is that they're arguing instead of fixing the reactor.
• After all of last season was spent building up Mack's shotgun-ax, here it's quite casually brought along and Mack just uses it to smash a locked door and shoot a ghost.
• The ghosts are mostly Nightmare Fuel but the one named Vincent has the humorous problem in that he cannot speak intelligibly no matter how loudly he yells. It results in a rare moment of Black Comedy in their scenes when the others realize that they have it relatively well off compared to him.
  Hugo: Well... he has it the worst.
• Jeffrey has a good line to send off the congresspeople: "Unlike the climate change accords, those N.D.A.s are enforceable."
• Mack, to Fitz, while exploring the darkened lab: "You ever notice we never get sent to check out somewhere well-lit with nice, friendly people?"
• There's something hilarious in the manner Jeffrey has when he subdues May. It's like he's speaking to an unruly child instead of a veteran agent.
• Agent Piper, May's Number Two on her task force, falls into the ma'am trap and stumbles a bit, straight into That Came Out Wrong Ambiguously Gay.
  May: Let's just stick to 'May'.
  Piper: I can do May. [pause] I can do that, May.

Uprising

• The party Yo-Yo is at gets hit by the EMP, and her friend says it's really bad...because now they can't have any more blended drinks.
• Radcliffe spouts some acronym-filled technobabble at Aida, who pauses.
  Aida: I'm searching the encyclopedia for the acronym references.
  Radcliffe: Right. Take the red cables and the green cables, put them in the back of the black box, and push all the little buttons!
• Daisy refers to Robbie turning into the Ghost Rider as "going all Carrot Top."
• The EMP turns out to be a constant thing instead of a one-time pulse, so when the agents drive inside the zone, all their electronics fail. Including Coulson's mechanical hand, which is gripping the steering wheel at the time.
  Coulson: Can I get some help here?
• As they're heading into the blackout zone, Fitz notes that a guy with a flaming head is a good light source.
  Coulson: I'm really bummed I missed that.
  Mack: No you're not.
  Fitz: Sir... it was quite unsettling.
• When the Watchdogs invade the bachelorette party Yo-Yo is at, she keeps using her superpowers to steal their guns and dump them in potted plants. At one point she steals a guy's knife out of his hand and waggles it at him tauntingly before Coulson punches him out.
• After Simmons manages to bring May back to life (curing her in the process), Simmons is crying and hugging her... while May is confused as to where she is, why she's strapped down, and why Simmons is crying and hugging her.
  May: ...did I miss something?
• After May recovers:
  Coulson: Sounds like you're back to your old self again.
  May: I'm cranky.
  Coulson: Like I said.
• Fitz teases that Elena might be with a "sexy Latino guy" at her friend's party, hoping for Mack to show any sign of Green-Eyed Monster. Mack grins, shakes his head and refuses to take the bait.

Let Me Stand Next to Your Fire

• May mutters "Killed by Radcliffe" in a way that just screams "No way am I living this down..."
  • Aida is explaining how they managed to cure May, when Fitz and Radcliffe say that they will need to keep her for observation and run some tests to make sure that there is no long term brain damage.
    May: [Speaks in Chinese]
    Radcliffe: What was that?
    Aida: Agent May says that you can shove all your tests up your ass.
    Radcliffe: Oh, that's not very nice.
• Daisy goes to Simmons for help, and Simmons points out that she can't voluntarily aid a wanted fugitive, as she takes daily lie-detector tests as part of her job. Daisy grabs Simmons' gun, so it won't be voluntary.
  Simmons: [sincerely] I've missed you, too.
• Just the car chase after Robbie and the Hell Charger.
  • Just before the chase starts, Coulson reasserts that only he gets to drive Lola.
    Mack: Get in the car, I'm driving.
    Coulson: Oh, hell no.
  • As they swerve through traffic:
    Coulson: How much do you weigh, 210? 220?
    Mack: It's not my weight, it's your driving! You should've let me take the wheel.
    Coulson: My car, I drive. You wouldn't fit behind the wheel anyway.
  • Mack lampshading how much faster Robbie's own car is traveling than Lola, whose flight mode still needs to get repaired.
    Mack: Can't be a standard Magnum under the hood. That's gotta be at least a 426 Hemi.
    Coulson: Maybe admire his car after we catch him, what do you think?
  • Coulson's remark after successfully apprehending Robbie and the Hell Charger:
    Coulson: I get his car now, right? Isn't that how this works?
    Mack: [gives Coulson an "Are you serious" look]
• FitzSimmons are looking for an off-base apartment, though they have different definitions of what they want.
  Simmons: It checks all our boxes: hardwood floors, breakfast nook, bay window, cozy and charming.
  Fitz: Yeah, well, "cozy" means small, "charming" means old. Where did you find this place?
  Simmons: An email offer. Honestly, it was too good to be true.
  Fitz: And it's definitely in our price range?
  Simmons: Can one really put a dollar amount on the perfect home?
  Fitz: Yes, one can, and we did.
  • It turns out that the apartment Simmons got an e-mail offer on was from Daisy, who used the apartment hunt to lure Simmons into a meeting. Though Daisy did get FitzSimmons the apartment. And it's rent-controlled. Now all FitzSimmons have to do is remove Daisy's blood from the door.
• Mack examines the Hell Charger after it crashed into a Quinjet at speed, found it totally unharmed, and admits that this is a superpower he'd love to have.
• Mack admits that he's open to the idea of Robbie making a Deal with the Devil. Why?
  Mack: I believe in God, so I have to believe in the other guy.
• While discussing the fear-psychosis that the Ghosts leave when touching people, Fitz tells Radcliffe that he used to get all bugged-eyed when nervous as a child. Then he sees Aida is talking with May.
  Fitz: What is she doing out?!
  Radcliffe: [looking closely at Fitz] You're right, they are bulging.
• Daisy lays out a plan to get a wifi bug onto the air-gapped Inhuman servers, involving stealing an ID badge from Agent Abby, cloning it, and then having Simmons sneak in. Simmons just walks up to the agent Daisy wanted to steal from, hands her the bug, and tells her to put it in. Then she returns to the van and cheerfully explains to Daisy that she's Abby's boss.
• James, AKA Hellfire, AKA an Inhuman with fire powers and a temperament to match, works at a fireworks store.
  Daisy: Whoever's in charge of the terrible ideas division is just crushing it.
• Before Robbie and James throw down, they exchange the traditional banter.
  James: don't know who the hell you think you are, but you just made a big mistake.
  Robbie: Funny. I was about to say the same thing. Without the accent.
• The Robbie vs James fight is mostly awesome, but there are funny bits.
  Mack: ...did two fire dudes just fall into a fireworks warehouse?
  Coulson: You had to see that coming.
  • Robbie's little "Huh!" upon grabbing the flaming chain, like he's thinking "Hey, that's my move!"
  • Then the warehouse explodes... and fireworks start flying into the sky.
• This exchange is oddly funny:
  May: Dying takes a lot out of you.
  Coulson: I've heard, we should start a club, get some t-shirts made.

Lockup

• Coulson trying to get the team to share any thoughts and feelings on the upcoming op. "This is a safe space."
• When Robbie finds out that he's not going to be allowed to join the ground team unless ghosts show up, he threatens to bring down the plane if they won't let him leave. Coulson notes that they're the only ones trying to help him, and Robbie grudgingly stomps off. Coulson just smiles.
  Coulson: He's kinda growing on me.
  Mack: [looks at him like he's crazy]
  • Another time that Robbie's vaguely threatening to bring down the plane, Daisy points out they're currently over rural Utah, adding, "If you think you're miserable now..."
• Fitz manages to make an antidote to the ghost insanity, which comes in an epipen-like device.
  Fitz: To counteract the psychosis, the serum needs to be delivered directly into the brain stem, so... the injector... needs to be placed at the base of the skull.
  Mack: Oh-ho-ho, no. Now, you know I don't like needles.
  Fitz: Well, I mean, it's a bee sting, really. [shows him the end of the device, which is some medieval hook and prong contraption]
  Mack: Oh hell— [pod drops away]
• After Coulson and May are semi-rescued ("We thought we'd meet you half way"), they immediately start injecting the guards with the ghost cure. Coulson says it's because they need them, while May says it's because the demon talk gets boring after a while.
  Guard: [getting injected] Ow!
  May: Stop whining.
• Coulson is apparently disappointed that any potential memories of the afterlife were erased by the TAHITI project. He badgers May incessantly throughout the episode about what she saw, until she finally admits she saw Coulson himself.
  May: You want to know what I saw, Phil?
  Coulson: Yeah.
  May: I saw you.
  Coulson: [looks at May in shock]
  May: Don't let it go to your head.
• When Daisy is fighting for her life in the kitchen, Coulson and May are told that the only way to get to her is by climbing up the garbage chutes. After Coulson climbs into an open dumpster, May closes the lid on the dumpster next to his and climbs up its attending chute.
  Coulson: You didn't think to tell me that before I jumped in the trash?
  May: Where's the fun in that?
• There is something darkly hilarious about the rioting inmates scrambling to get into their cells and lock themselves back up after Ghost Rider torches the Ganger.
• When Simmons is being put under the lie detector by Agent Harlan and he isn't in the shot, only his voice, some viewers might suddenly realize that she's being interrogated by Garrus Vakarian.

The Good Samaritan

• A bunch of S.H.I.E.L.D. mooks burst into Fitz's lab on the Zephyr, searching for Daisy and Robbie.
  Fitz: Oh, in that case, you'd better check under that microscope and in the fridge, because those Inhumans can be tricky bastards.
• After Fitz notes that the idea of Robbie selling his soul to the devil is ridiculous, even while they're watching him in full Ghost Rider mode, Coulson gives Fitz his take.
  Coulson: You know, the rationalist in me wants to agree, but the skull on fire presents a pretty compelling argument for "Hail Satan."
  • Made more funny when you notice that they live in an universe where the Norse Gods turns to be a very real thing, but hey, the existence of demons is a ridiculous concept.
• Fitz tells Mack about previous experiments with "Zero Matter," a.k.a. "Dark Force."
  Mack: Who names these? Are there focus groups for evil things?
• Mack nicknames Gabe "Ironsides". Gabe doesn't let that go unanswered, calling him "Black Kojak".
  Mack: I like this kid.
  • This gets better if you know there actually was a black Kojack, with Ving Rhames starring in a short-lived remake. And after Ving Rhames got a cameo in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, it grows into Celebrity Paradox.
• Coulson says Mace is on a wild goose chase. Mace counters that it's not a wild goose chase if there are geese:
  Mace: Do you deny that they ^note Robbie and Daisy are on board?
  Coulson: Geese? I have zero geese. We are goose free.
• Due to the Big Brother Is Watching nature of Mace’s directorship, Fitz and Mack have to play dumb to each other while talking about Daisy and the Reyes brothers to avoid the possibility of being subjected to Mace’s lie-detection test.
  Fitz: Director hasn’t found you-know-who and you-know-who?
  Mack: [non-chalantly] I don’t know what you’re talking about.
  Fitz: [also non-chalantly] Right. Me neither.
• Most of what goes down onscreen is either sad or terrifying, but the time stamp for the flashbacks in this episode? Back in the Day.

Deals With Our Devils

• Coulson watching May and Mack receiving a message through their earpieces and wondering out loud if they all "look that stupid on comms?".
• Mace complaining about Mack punching out a fellow agent, riding off on a motorcycle without orders, and not wearing a helmet.
• When Mace hears about Robbie's anger issues (again), he immediately orders that Gabriel be provided therapy in order to head off the same problems.
• Fitz's response to Mack taking a bike out to hunt down Eli.
  Daisy: What the hell is he doing!?
  Fitz: Mack is Ghost Rider now, but you can't hear us, so...
• Robbie is practically crying when Daisy scratches up his car. The healing only works when he's the Rider.
• Radcliffe rolling his eyes as Aida starts to say she was designed "to protect people, to be the shield."
  Radcliffe: Shush, you're developing a Catchphrase.
• Getting sick with the whole Big Brother Is Watching in S.H.I.E.L.D. ever since it came under the new director, May has this to say to a random scientist in the lab:
  May: You, what's your name?
  Nathanson: Nathanson, Ma'am. How can I help you?
  May: Get lost, Nathanson.
• Mace calling the Darkhold an "Instruction Manual".
• In The Stinger, Radcliffe, clearly having had a little too much to drink, plays the guitar and sings about how he saved the day. After a little free rhyming, he asks Aida for a word that rhymes with "dismayed".

The Laws of Inferno Dynamics

• When having an interview over intercom with the news, Mace is annoyed by the picture shown of him on the news being bad, since it's not even straight on.
• This gem of an exchange between Robbie and Mack:
  Robbie: I'm not wearing a mask.
  Mack: It's not a mask, it's a balaclava.
  Robbie: I thought that was a dessert.
  Mack: What? No, it's... never mind.
• Elena refers to Robbie as "Burning Man".
• When Coulson spills the beans on Aida to Mace, the first thing he mentions is that he was "mildly attracted" to her, before complaining about the violation of protocol. Not that we can blame him, but it's still funny he'd choose to focus on that.
• When Simmons sarcastically comments that maybe Eli's powers are magic, Fitz states that he hates magic. And clowns. And clowns wielding knives in the dark... at this point, Simmons is giving him a confused look.
• Daisy's repeated insistence that she's not responsible for the tremors everyone keeps feeling.
• Mack's annoyance at the nuclear trap called a "demon core." And yes, it is a real thing.
  Mack: You can't make this stuff up.
• After learning that Eli has a nuclear bomb, Coulson says that it's Time for Plan B... by which he means, does anyone have any suggestions for what Plan B should be?
• After a remark about Aida dreaming, May asks if Aida dreams, and Coulson suggests maybe about electric sheep.
  Aida: [to Radcliffe] I assume that was a joke at my expense and does not require a response.
• FitzSimmons give a sarcastic reaction to Mace's arrival. When Daisy asks why they don't like Mace, FitzSimmons answer at the same time:
  Simmons: We don't trust him.
  Fitz: He's a lying weasel.
• Coulson and Mace are having it out, with Daisy chiming in at one point. At the end of the scene, Coulson sums up that they aren't "a team that trusts," but they need to become one if they're going to beat Eli Morrow and stop him from blowing up half of Los Angeles.
  Daisy: [suddenly remembering] Oh, that, right. Fitz figured that out. [walks off as Mace and Coulson look deeply confused]
• Coulson remarks that he keeps getting told that he should be dead, but it never gets old.
• Black comedy, but with two massive spikes through his chest, Robbie remarks that he's still standing. With the way he's impaled, he technically can't fall down.
• Radliffe tells Aida to "work her magic." Aida tells him that she doesn't do magic; magic relies on deception.
  Radcliffe: I really need to update your cache of common vernacular.
• Coulson casually revealing that he saw Ghost Rider escape from Hell before, then not revealing the details because It's a Long Story. It's hard to tell if Coulson is messing with Daisy, or if the writers are messing with the fans. Maybe both.
• Coulson implies he wanted Daisy to take his place as Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
  Daisy: Yeah, maybe the comic book version.
• When Daisy's welcomed back into S.H.I.E.L.D., she's granted clearance level Blue. Everyone admits they don't know what that means.

Broken Promises

• Daisy's meeting with Mace is one long awkward moment of them sniping at each other, remembering that they're on the same side, and repeating.
• After Simmons notes that it's good to have someone to talk to again, Daisy points out that Fitz has been with her, but Simmons says that he's been distracted with working on Aida.
  Simmons: You know how boys can be with their robots.
  Daisy: ...actually, I don't.
  • Then Simmons gives Daisy a surprised look, as though everyone should know that, showing that despite being best friends, Daisy and Jemma are an Odd Friendship.
• The new director's mantra about trust has apparently been put onto motivational posters — one of which has been hung in the women's restroom.
• When Mack refers to Aida as a "sex bot", Radcliffe takes offense — he never had sex with her, they're just friends. Fitz winces at how Radcliffe isn't helping himself.
• Mack and Yo-Yo share a love of Killer Robot movies, which has made them both Genre Savvy about robots going rogue.
  Yo-Yo: Someone needs to make Radcliffe watch all the Terminator movies.
  Mack: ...even Salvation?
  Yo-Yo: He brought this onto himself.
• Mack's life insurance policy has a clause about killer robots. This actually makes a lot of sense in a post-Ultron world.
• When Mack cuts Aida's head off, everyone else looks on in horror, but he and Yo-Yo just fist-bump.

The Patriot

• Doubles as Heartwarming: At the press conference, a picket sign one of the crowd members is holding up reads, "Quake, will you marry me?"
  • In a similar vein, another sign has "Mace for President 2020".
• Coulson's guess for the contents of Mace's Handcuffed Briefcase? Nuclear codes, hush money, and Girl Scout cookies.
• Talbot manages to get quite a few moments:
  • Arriving at the Playground and barking orders to everyone in sight, ending with demanding some random agent get him a coffee.
  • Calling May the most intimidating woman he's ever met... except maybe his mother.
  • Offering to assign May to security level "Day-Glo Pink" if it'll get results. Her look says it all.
  • He gets interrupted by the President calling him with "Hail to the Chief" as the ringtone.
  • Ranting about missing the Cold War and being able to torture people during interrogation. Simmons asks if he's even speaking English.
  • When explaining that the Patriot Super Serum was based on the Hyde formula, with FitzSimmons talking over each other over what a terrible idea it is, he emphatically states that they took out all the "bad stuff"... mostly.
    Fitz: Okay, so you're mostly idiots.
    Simmons: Mostly.
• After the Quinjet crash, Mack asks Coulson if Mace's plan is a good idea.
  Coulson: You know what they say. If a jet crashes in the woods and there's no one there to hear it, stay close to the guy with super strength. [tries to put on his sunglasses, finds that one lens is broken, and tosses them in frustration]
• Talbot, Daisy, and May meet to figure out what happened to Coulson, Mace, and Mack.
  Daisy: [hopefully] It could just be an equipment malfunction.
  Talbot: When have we ever been that lucky?
• The head presented to the ex-Hydra as a way to make him talk
• Fitz asks if the fact that he found Simmons pretending to be a Torture Technician attractive is weird. She bluntly responds "yes", with a wide smile.
• May is in a Lotus-Eater Machine that's making her think she's getting a hot rock massage at a spa. She's acting like she's getting tortured. Radcliffe puts these together and asks Aida how hot the rocks are.
  • Eventually, Radcliffe realizes that the problem isn't with the software, but with May: she wouldn't enjoy a spa day because she's a fighter, saying she needs "an opponent to fight, an enemy to defeat, a dragon to slay". Aida, in all seriousness, asks if she should design a dragon.
• Mace tells the true story of his heroic deed in Vienna: he tripped while stumbling through smoke, and someone took a picture!

Wake Up

• We get a chance to see the Lotus-Eater Machine that Aida first put May in, where she was at a day spa, and it was terrible. It was on a thirty second loop because May kept trying to leave. Eventually, the program broke because May punched out the masseuse. No wonder she didn't believe it.
• Since Mack took a personal day, Coulson and Yo-Yo are partnered to plant bugs in Nadeer's office. Coulson is less than thrilled, as Yo-Yo keeps pestering him about what he knows about what Mack is doing, and is less than subtle about how Everyone Can See It between Coulson and May.
  Coulson: You know, nobody likes a smart ass.
  Yo-Yo: That hasn't been my experience.

Hot Potato Soup

• FitzSimmons really made good on their threat to make the Radcliffe LMD sing like a canary—literally, much to Fitz's bewilderment.
  • In the same scene, Fitz's attempts to hack the Radcliffe LMD results in the LMD twitching and speaking in tongues. While it's frightening at the time, it's later revealed that an LMD possessing a Quantum Brain doesn't actually have any traditional programming—the Radcliffe LMD did that just to screw with FitzSimmons and Mack.
  • Later, when Fitz is growing frustrated that he won't be able to crack LMD Radcliffe's programming, Simmons tries to reassure him. LMD Radcliffe disrupts it:
    Fitz: No, I won't! He knows it, and so do you.
    Simmons: That's not true.
    Radcliffe LMD: Actually, your exact quote was: [in Simmons voice] "Where's Daisy when we need her?"
    Simmons: That's not what I meant!
• Turns out, Agent Quake is the center of some "steamy" fanfiction, including some pairing her with Black Widow complete with the cutesy ship name of "Quack". Daisy clearly wishes she could unhear that.
• Even more comedic mileage than usual is milked from the Koenigs' Inexplicably Identical Individuals schtick:
  • After some dramatic action to start the show, the cold open ends with some Mood Whiplash as Sam reports in: "This is Agent Koenig. They've got Agent Koenig."
  • Sam and Quake are watching the footage of him and Billy fighting the assailants and he's trying to look more badass in front of his newest idol as Billy is distracting the Watchdogs while Sam is hiding behind the bar. Daisy is not impressed...
    Daisy: I mean, you're ... you're literally wearing the same thing right now.
  • As Shockley says that the Superior is planning to torture Billy in ways Shockley can't even watch, Billy boasts that Koenigs are "programmed to take pain". Once Shockley leaves Billy and Radcliffe in a cell, Billy admits that he's in incredible pain, and asks Radcliffe if he has anything Billy can use to kill himself so they don't break him.
  • The Watchdogs' realization that they might've taken the wrong person. After Radcliffe sees the memory of the switch, he initially assumes that it was Billy's brother, but then his eyes fall on Aida and he wonders aloud if it was a replica.
  • The Bait-and-Switch over LT Koenig who turns out to be the others' sister. The guy on stage is Thurston, brother number four, and the only one that isn't an agent.
  • LT mentions that the worst part about growing up with the brothers was the laundry, and "Enough DNA to grow a clone army."^note As if we needed any more fan theories about the Koenig siblings Daisy gets wide-eyed, but doesn't say anything.
  • Sam's attempt to lie to protect Billy: "I've never seen this guy before in my life!"
  • The final tease of the Koenigs being LMDs themselves, when it's finally confirmed that they were part of the original LMD project. As technicians, not products.
  LT: What, you thought they were robots?
• After downloading Billy's memories, the first one Radcliffe sees is Billy making something with wires and a timer, and assumes it's a bomb to destroy the Darkhold. It's actually a memory of Billy setting up a clock in the shape of Darth Vader's helmet.
  Radcliffe: Never mind, false alarm.
  • Radcliffe and Aida gave Billy a simulation of a puppy to keep him calm while they map his memories. When the Watchdogs release Billy as part a trade for the Darkhold, Billy still complains that they took his puppy.
• On the Zephyr One, where Thurston is angry that S.H.I.E.L.D. has essentially kidnapped him for his own safety, LT asks why he didn't become a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent: they had the same parents, teachers, and liquor cabinet. Sam eventually gets them to settle down and have a nice group hug, or "Koenig crush"...and LT punches him in the gut.
  Sam: What was that for?!
  LT: You let your guard down. Didn't I teach you anything?
  Sam: We were having a moment!
  LT: It was nice. Grow 'em back now.

BOOM

• Radcliffe congratulates Aida on her new simulation for May, since the old ones were small enough that she kept running into the edges. Aida happily says "That's why I made the world. It doesn't have any edges. It's a sphere."
• After finishing a physical on Mace, Simmons informs him that each time he takes the Patriot Serum, it increases the likelihood that it will cause cardiac arrest. Simmons says that Mace can no longer take the serum...and then Fitz walks in with Mace's new suit, explaining all its new functions, before he finally realizes that the test went poorly. Then he tries to explain the suit's new health and safety features, only to be informed that Mace can't take the serum anymore. Finally, an aide provides Mace an exit.
  Aide: Director, we've got to keep you on schedule.
  Mace: Oh, thank god.
• To ensure the safety of the Inhumans that S.H.I.E.L.D. knows about, Daisy organizes a massive relocation effort. Then she leaves the paperwork for Mace.
• While Coulson debriefs Mace about the mission to locate Agnes, Mace expresses his frustration over not being able to help. Coulson, having had a similar feeling when working with The Avengers, tells him that he'll find his place... or he'll get an Asgardian staff through the chest.
  Coulson: You might want to avoid that part.
  Mace: Well, that goes without saying.
• As Mace, Daisy, and FitzSimmons are watching the news about an explosion at Senator Nadeer's office, Mace, Fitz, and Simmons all wonder if it may have been an Inhuman or sympathizer. Daisy is convinced that Nadeer staged the incident herself to turn public opinion against the Inhumans. Then the news confirms that Nadeer's body has been recovered and identified.
  Daisy: ...well, we can't be too sad. She did try to have you killed.
• After Fitz helps Mace to throw Shockley into a containment module before he can self-combust, a worried Simmons runs over to him... and slaps his shoulder for risking his life. Then she hugs him.
  Simmons: Don't do that!
  Fitz: What, help save the day?
  Simmons: No, do that, just don't risk your life when you're doing it! You could have been blown to bits!
• After determining that Shockley self-combusts using a high-pitched frequency, FitzSimmons approach Daisy about using her powers to counter-act the frequency.
  Daisy: You guys know that I can't—
  Fitz: Yeah, but you did absorb tremors in Los Angeles.
  Simmons: Yeah.
  Daisy: That's not the same thing. I can't just— [sees them stare expectantly] I can try.
  • Later, she fails to stop Shockley from blowing up. So she instead decides to just wear him down by blowing him up again. And again. And again.
• Agnes is tired of hearing people say they're sorry for her incurable illness. So in order to get on her good side and get her to cooperate to save May, Coulson said he apologizes, instead.

The Man Behind the Shield

• While sparring in a Framework simulation with Daisy, Coulson marvels at his (now real) left hand, says "well, I'll be," and then slugs Daisy in the nose with it.
  • Coulson comments that the simulation was strangely cold. Fitz tells him that he exaggerated the climate controls as a silent protest since Coulson always leaves the air conditioning on in the base.
• Coulson's response to a wall of String Theory regarding him?
  Coulson: This is why I don't have Facebook.
• The flashbacks with Coulson and May are filled with this:
  • Coulson's Russian skills could use a bit of help. He says "Good morning" to a guard at the dead of night, and tells him that he needs to take an object they found for "the protection of your cats".
    May: If that guy doesn't have a cat, he'd be really confused.
  • Coulson is initially displeased to learn May is on the mission, as he thinks she will throw off his game.
    May: You have game?
    Coulson: I have what some people refer to in certain parts of the world as game.
    May: It's cute that you think that.
  • May tells Coulson that he can't bluff because of nine different tells, including his eyes darting back and forth. Coulson insists that he always maintains eye contact, and then his eyes start darting. May suggests Coulson get some sunglasses.
  • Upon seeing a safe that presumably contains the 0-8-4 they're looking for, Coulson says that May jinxed them.
    Coulson: You literally willed this into existence.
  • This episode reveals that while May graduated from the Operations Academy, Coulson graduated from the Communications Academy. Which means that Operations and Sci-Tech grads have no respect for him.
  • While Coulson is yammering on to buy May time to break into the safe, a young Anton Ivanov says that Americans talk too much.
    Coulson: It's our greatest flaw.
  • May thinks Phil was flustered while they were undercover as a married couple and was really so clumsy it took him two minutes to unhook her bra. Phil protests he was being a gentleman and trying to delay because he knew they were on camera.
  • The last flashback, when Coulson and May are driving away in the car:
    May: Say it.
    Coulson: No.
    May: Say it.
    Coulson: I already did.
    May: Yeah, but I'm not tired of hearing it.
    Coulson: [sighs] Thank you for saving my life back there.
• The contrast between Rookie!May and Present!May has a fun implication: she saves him and then insults him, teases him about the time they were Undercover as Lovers, and makes him think that she was ordered to do this mission and that she thinks it's a hassle to save his "defenseless ass", when the reality is that she asked for the mission so she could spend time with and protect him. The Melinda May that we the audience have come to know, used to be a tsundere!
• When commenting on Ivanov's submarine, Mack states that of course he has one, "like all good Bond villains".
  • Coulson says everyone needs to stay on their toes, even if Ivanov's base has "sharks with lasers".
• When Simmons plans to go after Aida:
  Fitz: You want to go after a killer robot alone?
  Simmons: I'll take Davis with me.
  Fitz: Concern only slightly lessened.
  Davis: Thanks.

Self Control

• LMD Coulson still has Coulson's brand of humor and is dripping with Black Comedy.
  • After Fitz' body is discovered to be an LMD and they're forced to kill the agents to cover-up their identity, LMD Coulson unloads a gun into two agents and Pistol Whips the third.
    LMD Coulson: [in the most deadpan tone possible] Damn it. There wasn't supposed to be any bloodshed.
    LMD Coulson: Mack, patch Fitz up enough so he can repair himself.
  • Later, when Daisy completely demolishes LMD Mack, there's a Reaction Shot of LMD Coulson and LMD Fitz staring at LMD Mack's shattered head.
    LMD Fitz: This'll take a while.
• Daisy goes hand-to-hand with LMD Mace and holds her own between her training and powers, but after a couple minutes the robotic Mace is unfazed.
  Daisy: [panting heavily] Really? Not even winded?
• After Simmons revives Piper and her team, they don't believe Simmons is human. When Simmons gets distracted, Piper moves to stab her—and suddenly stops short as LMDMack flies through the hallway in pieces.
  Simmons: I'd say I told you so... but I don't have to now.
• It Makes Sense in Context, but when LMD Coulson and LMD Fitz are discussing how they'll catch Daisy and Simmons. The words "the Daisy fleet" are just funny.

What if...

• When Daisy first sees Ward in bed, she reflexively extends her arm to Quake him, but since she hasn't undergone Terrigenesis in the Framework, nothing happens. Ward amusingly assumes that extending the arm is a thing they do now and does it a few times.
  • Later, she's getting dressed and has a moment of confusion over having longer hair than she does in the real world.
• Jemma is absolutely stunned and then disgusted to discover that in the Framework, Ward is actually a member of a Resistance working inside HYDRA and he and Daisy are a couple.
  Simmons: Always the double agent. And you two together? This isn't the Framework, this is Hell.
• Jemma's more annoyed than anything else to realize her counterpart was murdered by HYDRA.
• Because Jemma literally crawled out of a grave, looks disheveled for most of the episode, and Daisy learning that the Jemma in the Framework was murdered, Daisy becomes slightly unnerved upon their reunion.
  Daisy: Are you still dead?!
  Jemma: No, I'm actually feeling much better!
• Jemma's interactions with the regular people in the Framework, both being impressed by how real they seem for being just "code" and being annoyed by them.
  Jemma: None of this is real, you rogue piece of code!
• Seems like HYDRA are Indians fans...

Identity and Change

• When Ward informs Daisy that Coulson is being targeted, she relays the warning to Coulson by telling him that he's going to need a substitute.
• When remnants of S.H.I.E.L.D. handcuff Coulson and Jemma, Jemma reacts with a tone of annoyance, while Coulson is geeking out at the tech used on the cuffs.
• Framework!Coulson is not the loyal HYDRA citizen he first appeared to be. He's actually a crazy conspiracy nut who is fully convinced that HYDRA puts mind-control chemicals in soap to keep the masses brainwashed and stupid. How does Coulson get around it?
  Coulson: I make my own soap now.
• Later, Daisy breaks into some high-level files and Framework!Ward says she's lost her mind.
  Daisy: The soap made me do it.
  Ward: [following her] Soap?
• Coulson asks if Ward is a friend of theirs in the real world. Simmons tactfully replies that he was, but that it didn't end well.
• Coulson still being a complete S.H.I.E.L.D. fanboy completely geeking out over everything, up to and including Mace/The Patriot. Both funny and Adorkable. Though Mace isn't quite sure if that Star Wars reference is a compliment...
• How does Dark-Fitz end his briefing to his fellow HYDRA agents?
  Fitz: We will make our society great again.
• Radcliffe seeming totally unconcerned that Grant Ward is pointing a gun at his head, being more interested in finally getting to meet the man he previously only knew as a corpse piloted by Hive.
• How does Coulson describe being kidnapped and implanted with false memories that made him think he was going insane? "Not cool, bro."
• Radcliffe grudgingly admitting that the Loophole Abuse Aida used to solve the paradox in her programming was actually pretty clever, and that he'd be much more impressed if he wasn't dead.
• Ward being completely Locked Out of the Loop as Jemma and Coulson openly discuss the Framework with Radcliffe. By the time they start talking about Agnes, he's at his wits' end.
  Ward: Okay, what the hell is he talking about?!
  Coulson: To be honest, he lost me there, too.
  • And later, when Radcliffe realizes that Aida sabotaged Jemma's escape route:
    Radcliffe: Oh no, she already knows you're here!
    Ward: [completely fed up] Who!? Who is she!?
• In an otherwise heartwarming conversation between him and Jemma, Coulson still has time to tell her that he makes his own soap now. Even funnier that how sincere he really sounds about it. Simmons, confused and not really understand what he's talking about, comments that it's quaint and hipster.

No Regrets

• Simmons tells Mace about the real world, including his slogan "a team that trusts is a team that triumphs". He thinks it sounds cheesy, and he actually cringes when Simmons mentions he had t-shirts and coffee mugs made.
• Coulson mentions that every time he looks at Ward, he gets a weird itch, "like hives."
  Coulson: Were we friends in the real world? Did something happen?
  Simmons: Well, you crushed his chest with your cybernetic arm and left him to die on an alien planet. So, no.
• Hyde's serum comes up again, this time used by HYDRA. It still has the gorilla testosterone and the drop of peppermint.
• When Madame Hydra interrogates Daisy in her cell, she explains she didn't make the Framework the way it is:
  Madame Hydra: All I did was fix one thing in everyone's life. A regret. The subsequent world is simply a consequence of your actions. Algorithms, running their natural course, as Dr. Radcliffe always intended.
  Dr. Radcliffe: [through the wall] THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT, YOU SADISTIC WITCH!
  Madame Hydra: [rolls her eyes, bored] Guard.
  Dr. Radcliffe: [screams as a guard shocks him]
  • Also, Daisy's starting line to the interrogation:
    Daisy: I came in for a mani-pedi, got tortured instead. Bee-tee dubs, your psycho prison sucks.
• Coulson is given a fake ID so he can be the bus driver.
  Coulson: Jamie Flugelman?
  Mace: Well, it's the only one he could clear from HYDRA's database.
  • When he presents it to the guard at the facility, Coulson claims it's Canadian.
• While mentioning things that are only real in the Framework, Coulson still believes HYDRA's mind-controlling blue soap is a real thing.

All the Madame's Men

• When Bakshi's studio is captured by S.H.I.E.L.D., a tied up Bakshi refuses to help S.H.I.E.L.D., saying he would die before he slanders HYDRA. Daisy merely quakes him back a few feet, and he instantly agrees to help. Even in a Villain World where HYDRA reigns supreme, Sunil Bakshi is still a villainous Butt-Monkey. There are some laws of nature that even the Darkhold can't defy.
• After a heartfelt conversation with Daisy, Ward asks: after she is gone, will he get his Skye back? Daisy, almost on the verge of tears, admits that she doesn't know what will happen after she leaves... although she does belatedly realize that Skye is still HYDRA.
  Ward: Well, every relationship has its ups and downs.
• After Jemma tells Tripp about the real world, he actually believes her. Why? It's too crazy to be made up.
• Daisy and May are walking along a sidewalk, and Daisy grumbles:
  Daisy: Still feeling the aftereffects of the Terrigen. It's like a hangover made of bees.
• When Daisy and May are on the run, they're unaware yet that Bakshi has told the public to be on the alert for them. A white woman across the street sees them, has a frightened reaction and runs away.
  May: You see that look?
  Daisy: Maybe she's just racist?
• Might be unintentional, but Alistair glances away when his son kisses Ophelia, making it seemed look like he's uncomfortable being in the same room with a pair of young lovers, even if he's their Shipper on Deck.

Farewell, Cruel World!

• When Daisy tries to convince Mack to stay back at S.H.I.E.L.D. to take part in a "mission" to take out Madame Hydra for good (actually get him to the backdoor out of the Framework), Hope excitedly chimes in to let him go, citing Daisy's Damsel out of Distress moment after Mack turned her in. Gosh Darn It to Heck! and a Hurricane of Euphemisms ensues before Mack acquiesces.
• Radcliffe musing that Aida would be quite "the terrible teenage daughter" for constantly loop-holing her protocols.
• When Coulson tells May about the real world, she's understandably skeptical, thinking he's crazy. Coulson admits that for a while, he thought he was crazy, and crafted soap just to stay sane. But then he met Daisy, and started to believe again. What does May take from the speech?
  May: Did you say "crafted soap"?
  Coulson: Look, forget about that.
  • Then, Daisy grills Coulson for revealing the existence of the real world to May.
    Daisy: You told her?
    Coulson: [defensively] It came up in conversation.
    Daisy: How does the existence of an alternate reality come up in casual conversation?
    Coulson: I'd like to think it was because we were bonding, but I really don't want to speak for her...
    Daisy: You're really not helping.
• After learning about the real world, Mack calls Daisy a liar, and Coulson a fool for believing that she's Moses taking them to the Promised Land. This gives Daisy the idea to quake the molten pool and open the back door, essentially parting the Red Sea.
  Mack: They did NOT just go and use The Bible against me.
• A bit of Black Comedy, but Coulson's reaction to bleeding to death after being shot is to tell May that "This feels oddly familiar". Even suffering from amnesia, Coulson is still bringing up the fact that Loki killed him.
• When Coulson and May wake up in the real world, Coulson looks for a weapon to kill Aida's body but can only find a tiny surgical scalpel.
  Coulson: [to Mack's body] At least you had a shotgun-axe.
• Trip asks Daisy to tell him about the real world. In particular, whether or not he dated any of the women on Team Coulson. After she tells him he didn't, he wonders why the hell anyone would ever want to go back to such a horrible world.
• When May emerges from the Framework, we get this exchange:
  Coulson: I'm amazed you went through. I was a little squirrely on the other side.
  May: It was kinda cute.

The Return

• Ivanov casually reading the Darkhold, and remarking with surprise that it actually contains a few funny passages.
• Coulson's reaction to learning that Aida/Ophelia can teleport? Exasperation:
  Coulson: No. No, no, no! She has Inhuman powers now?! [looks up] Can we get a break, please?! Can we get one break?!
  • Even better is at the end of the episode, when Ghost Rider returns. Coulson finally got his break, just not from God, but from Hell.
• Anton Ivanov finally comes face to face with Phil Coulson and Melinda May for the first time since they caused his old unit to die... and May has no idea who he is, just like Coulson didn't earlier in the season. Coulson, knowing May's preference for Cutting the Knot, just gives the information that May cares about:
  May: Who the hell is this guy?
  Coulson: Well, you missed a fair amount, May, but the quick version is: you can go ahead and shoot him.
  May: [fires]
• Since she's been out of the picture for more than half the season, May asks Coulson what happened while she was in the Framework. Coulson pointedly tries to avoid the more... awkward details:
  May: Robots? Is that a common occurrence now?
  • May is more than a bit annoyed to realize Coulson never really figured out she had been replaced by an android.
    May: You must have spotted the decoy right away.
    Coulson: Yeah, because you're never robotic at all.
    May: Oh, really? How long did it take for you to figure it out?
    Coulson: [doesn't answer]
    May: Wow... I'm hurt, Phil. I guess we're not as close as I thought.
    Coulson: [winces]
  • Coulson's "deer in the headlights" expression when May asks him if anything weird happened with her LMD.
    May: [squinting in confusion] Did... something weird happen with my robot self?
    Coulson: [shutting the hell up]
    May: [suspicious] Did I make a move on you?
    Coulson: [still shutting the hell up]
    May: [seriously concerned] Phil... Did I try to... kill you?
    Coulson: Kill me? Yup. That's what happened. You tried. It was messed up.
  • There is May asking for updates on what happened with her LMD, and Coulson is pointedly avoiding mentioning the kiss with the LMD. One gets the feeling he understands FitzSimmons a little better now.
    May: What finally tipped it?
    Coulson: A... series of events.
    May: Didn't get messy between us, did it?
    Coulson: "Messy"? That's a relative term, wouldn't you say?
  • The one thing Coulson isn't on the defensive about is updating May on what happened with Robbie Reyes and Eli Morrow. Coulson explains that Eli tried to become a god and wipe out Los Angeles with a nuclear bomb, so Robbie dragged his uncle to Hell along with the bomb.
    May: ... so things ended well then.
    Coulson: As well as can be expected, yeah.
    May: Man, what a run. After this is over, we're definitely opening that bottle of Haig.
    Coulson: ... yeah, totally.
  • After hearing about the above and realizing how bad the current situation is, May's remark about how she should have stayed at the spa is also worth a chuckle.
  • But the thing May is most pissed to hear about after coming out of the Framework? Coulson drank that bottle of Haig they were saving.
    May: WHAT?! You piece of sh— [explosion cuts her off]
• The Zephyr One is still under attack from the Watchdogs fighter, and Davis is utterly sick of everyone's backseat driving:
  Davis: I swear, one more word from you, and I will drop the controls to kick your ass.
• Aida goes to Ivanov to tell him to back off, saying she regrets putting everyone in danger and all the pain she's caused.
  Ivanov: Congratulations. You're as close to human as you'll ever to get. Suffering from the one thing that you kept trying to remove — regret. [Beat] Do you understand irony yet? 'Cause this is a good example!
• Aida/Ophelia's initial reaction to Fitz telling her he's only in love with Jemma, though it turns terrifying quickly.
  Aida: There's only room in your heart for—
  Fitz: For her.
  Aida: [pause] What?
  Fitz: Wha... the—
  Aida: What do you mean her?
  Fitz: Listen...
  Aida: What about me?
  Fitz: Yeah, no, I- In- I mean, in- in- in the Framework you- you were my whole world, but—
  Aida: But? But what Leopold?!
  Fitz: Well, I just- I only mean that- Jemma...
  Aida: NOOOOO!!!
  • It's also a nice Call-Back to Radcliffe's remark about how she became "a terrible teenage daughter." Her breakdown looks exactly like a spoiled (and superpowered) teenage girl who doesn't get what she wants.
• Talbot gives us this line:
  Talbot: You assume each and every one of them's a damn C-3PO unless you hear otherwise from me.
• During the standoff with Talbot and the Army, Talbot asks if Coulson can explain how the Playground exploded, leaving 12 agents with critical injuries and robot bodies with artificial flesh dripping off them, along with Jeffrey Mace's corpse looking like it was "quaked apart" after being fished out of the ocean.
  Talbot: Can you explain that?
  Coulson: ... I can try.
  • Even better, when we cut back to them, it quickly becomes apparent that Coulson DID try, and Talbot is trying to make sense of all of this.
    Coulson: ... and then the base under the oil rig fell into the sea.
    [Beat])
    Talbot: You expect me to believe a word of that?
• Ivanov being vaguely amused by the horrific sight of angry, drunk AIDA/Ophelia pretending to seduce one of his duplicates before beating the ever loving shit out of it. It's terrifying but Ivanov's face sells it.
  Ivanov: All better now?
  • It's darkly funny seeing heartbroken AIDA/Ophelia drowning her sorrows, possibly for the first time ever in her life as a living being. Especially seeing her first take a shot of vodka, then chug it straight from the bottle.
• There is something oddly funny about Ghost Rider walking out of the interdimensional gate and dramatically wrapping the Hellfire chain around him... then he just tilts his head to get a kink out of his neck, and walks off to find Team Coulson so they can give him an update on what he missed while he was gone. As if returning from Hell was nothing more inconvenient than a long bus trip.

World's End

• May's still upset about that bottle of Haig, to the point that she nags Coulson about it during a mission where Aida could just teleport in and kill them both.
  • Coulson then adds that they'll have to get another bottle to drink while he explains what happened to that bottle.
  • And then May figures out what happened to that bottle.
    May: This is a terrible plan.
    Coulson: Y'know, Robot May was way more supportive.
    May: ...Is she what happened to the Haig?!
• The entire team eating at a diner while they're wanted fugitives.
• When Talbot demands to know what killed his men at the Playground, Coulson describes Aida as "a vanishing banshee made of matter from another dimension".
  Talbot: You expect me to put that in my report?!
  Coulson: I have a cybernetic hand. I've been to another planet. This stuff happens at S.H.I.E.L.D.
• How does Daisy help out Elena in the Framework? By having Yo-Yos appear all around Radcliffe clueing him in. He feels like Pac-Man by the time he gets to her.
• When Daisy and Aida meet up again, Aida has this whole speech about what she was thinking of doing when she saw her again, culminating in Aida planning to have Daisy fight her LMD and 'kill herself'. Daisy's response?
  Daisy: Aida. Seriously, therapy, just consider it.
• After Robbie and Daisy take down several LMD mooks, Ivanov lands another throwing knife in her arm.
  Daisy: Really? You? Again?
  Ivanov: You don't understand, do you. Even if you defeat this body, I will build more. You cannot stop me.
  Daisy: Never say "you can't stop me," because the minute you do...[Ghost Rider wraps a chain around Ivanov's middle] Well yeah, that. [the Rider yanks Ivanov into the air, where Daisy quakes him apart]
• Coulson goes full fanboy at the prospect of a Daisy/Ghost Rider teamup... that he didn't get to see.
  Coulson: [arriving two seconds too late, sounding extremely disappointed] I missed it, didn't I? You two together and we missed it! Damn!
• Simmons shoots Aida despite knowing she has a Healing Factor:
  Aida: Your weapon can't kill me.
  Simmons: I know. I just really wanted to do that.
• Ivanov and LMD-Mishkin (who is likely controlled by Ivanov's head as well) speaking in unison as they get ready for the S.H.I.E.L.D. inquiry.
  Both: We look fantastic!
  • It gets funnier (and creepier) for those who know about Tara the "I Feel Fantastic" Android from YouTube.