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Funny / Aesir: Cross Wars

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As an Expy to Kid Icarus: Uprising, this was inevitable.

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     In General 
  • Azazel in general. He's Hot-Blooded, hammy, and ditzy, leading to a lot of humour.
    • Any interactions he has with resident Straight Man Azrael.
    • Whenever someone pushes their shared Berserk Button. Don't you dare call them 'small fry'.
  • Before Chapter 3, any time Freya called Azrael out for breaking the fourth wall.
  • Baldur, the godly Troll.
  • Azazel and Uriel's rivalry. Azazel also engages in a Sibling Rivalry with Azrael, but it's mostly one sided.
  • Groose's Theme plays a lot. What makes this funny is that the theme sounds like a theme for 'ya dun goofed' moments.
  • Until Chapter 3, Freya is not aware of the Fourth Wall. Azrael, on the other hand, is. This leads to a few awkward moments.
  • Really, the Disclaimer serves as a page-long Establishing Character Moment for Lord Anonymous. We see that he is a major Deadpan Snarker just from reading this chapter. To quote someone in the comments "I'm already loving this book and it hasn't even started yet."
Some particular gems include:
Lord Anonymous: For example, in Final Fantasy, it increases critical hit ratio. In Gun Gale Online, it's the filler stat to end all filler stats and so does jack shit.
  • Threatening to sue anyone who steals his characters. You can imagine how dead his voice would sound when saying it.
  • Essentially begging the reader not to be repelled by the book's Hurricane of Puns.
  • What he specifically says when explaining all the profanity in the book.
Lord Anonymous: Yeah, there's a lot of fucking swear words in this book. If you still want to read it, then go ahead. I'm just warning you now so that you don't sue me later for being nasty to your 5 year old kid named Charlie who reads this book and tells mummy about all the naughty words in this book.
     Prologue: The Second Cross War 
  • Iceaura snarks at the reason why it was called the 'Cross War'.
  • "Fuck the humans!"
  • When Angrboda is telling Odin her reason for waging war (that Mani told her to), Odin's only response is that Mani is an idiot. Reading on lets you know that Odin isn't wrong in the slightest.
     Prologue II: Freya, Goddess of Love 
  • Iceaura is probably at his snarkiest during this chapter. For instance, he's the first one to point out how cheesy the scene is where Thor gives Azrael his name.
  • The advert for Amazing Salt. Probably for how much of a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment it is.
  • Thor: Do you think you're up for it?
    Azrael: Maybe... I'm not sure.
    Thor: Perfect! Then we'll be off tomorrow.
    • If anything, Thor probably set the precedent for Azazel's character.
  • This:
    Azrael: Wait, why do I need a god to do that?
    Iceaura: Because, Azrael, it's needed to progress the plot. I will willingly shoot you in the face if you don't oblige.
  • When Azrael slashes the demon's eye out, it shouts in the hammiest way possible. This below is ripped right from the book.
  • In Azrael's rematch with the demon, it tells him that he's not the hero of this book, because he's not an Invincible Hero. It then suggests he goes home and plays Dragon Ball X. Azrael responds by saying that he'd rather play President Evil, and goes on to list all the gruesome things about it, all with a bright smile on his face.
    Demon: You might be more sick than any demon I've ever met. Fuck. You.
     Chapter 1: The Battle Begins 
  • Azrael begins trying to look cool by smirking. Freya's response?
    Freya: Why are you smirking like that? You look like a loser pretending to be a badass.
  • Azrael in general is a minor Butt-Monkey in this chapter.
  • Meeting Jotun Ymir.
    Freya: Oh that? That's just a Jormugandr. They're assorted all over the place. Usually they only guard the Artifacts of Yggdrasil.
    Azrael: But thank the Gods that I don't have to fight it, right? Right? ... Oh. Fuck.
    Freya: Hey, do refrain from dropping F-bombs everywhere, OK? Kids might be reading this.
    Azrael: U-um, sorry. But what happened to this not being a story?
  • The fact that Hel's Leitmotif is Carl Orff's 'O Fortuna'.
  • The first meeting with Hel. Between Azrael's Skewed Priorities over what to be pissed at Hel for (calling him a small fry, instead of, you know, starting a war, to Hel displaying a bit of a Deadpan Snarker attitude towards the hero.
    Hel: I've received word that you're the protagonist of this story. So far, I'm unimpressed.
    Freya: When Azrael's strong enough, he'll send you to Hell!
    Azrael: Freya, she already comes from Hell. Also, Hel, why are you SPARING me?
    (Hel leaves)
    Azrael: What an idiot.
  • The battle against Ymir's false ending, where Azrael defeats him... and he comes back with a maxed out Physical Attack.
    Azrael: No, this is not happening. This is not happening!
  • Azrael's conversation with Freya after the fight against Ymir.
    Freya: You know, you're a lot more powerful than I thought you were.
    Azrael: Thanks! But... Should I really be hearing this from someone who I recently beat?
    Freya (angrily): Hey! You know, I don't have to help you!
    Azrael: ...Yes. Yes you fucking do.
    Freya: Well then, you have to respect me!
    Azrael: Before you go on about respect, remember that every conflict that we've had so far has been instigated by you.
    Freya: So? As your goddess, you have to worship and give in to me!
    Azrael: But... As your angel, you have to help and look after me, right?
    Freya: ...Shut up, Azrael.

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