- After about a half-page of discussing the homemade silencer, and how that friend likely had some secret compartment to hide the gun for just when he needs it, complete with a locking mechanism and other doodads, Arctor's inner monologue reveals he has his service weapon in a much more devious hidden place, where nobody will ever find it: his glove compartment.
- Charles Freck's suicide attempt. Nuff said. (Beware the multi-eyed eight-foot-high being with the endless scroll!)
- Who will be reading you your sins in shifts throughout eternity!
- The argument about how a 21-speed bicycle works, leading the drug-addled characters to determine that someone stole eleven gears from it.
- It gets even more confused when Freck thinks he sees one more gear than the rest do. Then two less. Then two more again.
- "LET'S GO RESCUE THOSE ORPHAN GEARS!"
- Barris is going to find out who's got something against Arctor. How? He's set up a a microphone to start recording when someone comes through the front door. To increase the chance that intruders will enter via the front and not another way, he's left a note on the door saying that it's unlocked. Arctor and Luckman are shocked and not even sure whether he's being serious or not.Barris: Of course I'm kidding! Only a psychotic would do that, leave the front door of the house open with the door unlocked and a note on the door.Arctor: What'd you write on the note, Barris?Barris:...I wrote, "Come on in, the door's unlocked."
- The homemade silencer, which just makes gunshots even louder. So much so that Arctor is startled awake by the gunshot and grabs his gun.
- Barris taunting a skittish Freck by speaking in a strange language and voices.
- ...which was preceded by a silly Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering? between Barris, Luckman and Arctor:Barris: How much does this Impala weigh?Arctor: A thousand pounds with passengers and a full tank of gas.Luckman: How many passengers?Arctor: Twelve.Luckman: Six in the front and six in the back?Arctor: No, that's eleven in the back and the driver sitting alone up front. All the weight in the wheels is to keep the car from fishtailing.Luckman: What are we talking about, twelve fifty-pound passengers?Arctor: Kids soccer team.Luckman: Is that metal or plastic cleats?Arctor: Metal... for safety.Barris: OK, my computations are complete, you are just huckletweet and you are just bugbyte squared.Luckman: What kind of bug?Barris: About-to-get-fucked-up-bitch-beetle!
- Luckman freaking out on the highway while Arctor and Barris just calmly stand by.
- "What if they come in through the backdoor or the bathroom window like that infamous Beatles song?"
- Woody Harrelson's character expecting a fight and picking up a bow—but no arrows!
Funny / A Scanner Darkly