Funny / A Knight's Tale

• The Training Montage at the start is filled with them.
  • After Wat and Roland complain about how many times they've had to pull a cart with Will atop it for Will to ride at a ring, Will clicks his tongue at the pair like they're ponies while holding carrots and, annoyed, Roland tells Wat: "Fong him!" and the pair chase after the knight hopeful.
  • In an example of crossing the line twice, during Will's training with a lance he ends up toppling into a river wearing a breast plate... which his sidekicks find hilarious.
    Roland: (chuckling) Any minute now.
    [Beat]
    Roland: (now looking a little bit worried)
    [The river bubbles ominously with no Will in sight. Roland and Wat get matching Oh Crap! expressions.]
• Basically any time Chaucer opens his mouth.
  • Especially when he mocks Wat. Example:
    Wat: I just can't understand women.
    Chaucer: Nor do I, but they certainly understand us. [Pause] Well, maybe not you.
  • Even in his intro, as Wat is delving into angrish, he's just sitting there looking at him with a rather bemused expression.
  • When he asks William why he's throwing the match and William explains, he walks off with a resigned "Oh God, I'd rather you be blind."
  • His first big introduction of Sir Ulrich, which is so extravagant that it completely baffles the crowd:
    Chaucer: WE WALK IN THE GARDEN OF HIS TURBULENCE!
    [Total silence. Pause.]
    Roland: [Looks around, tentatively cheers.]
    [Crowd realises it's supposed to cheer and does so.]^note This was an unscripted moment: the extras only spoke Czech and didn't understand what they were supposed to do. Mark Addy as Roland cheering was him genuinely trying to give them their cue. Brian Helgeland thought it was so funny that he did some extra shots to set it up better.
  • When he tries to impress his new friends by telling them about his book, which none of them have even heard of, let alone read:
    Chaucer: Very well, it was allegorical.
    Roland: We won't hold that against you. That's for each man to decide for himself.
  • One of his introductions is staged so he's walking along a railing with the camera angled to make it look like he's walking on water. When he's done the crowd goes wild and he hoarsely screams out "GOD, I'M GOOD!"
  • Chaucer mocking Adhemar's herald before their first faceoff:
    "(BELCH!) You're not fit to herald a wood-chopper."
• The scene in the tavern betting against the French. Roland, the voice of reason, refuses to take the risk until one of the Frenchmen declares that among the reasons an Englishman can't win the tournament is that the Pope is French — at which point Roland fires back that the Pope may be French, but Jesus was English, and the bet is on.
  • Followed by the group starting to chant about William like modern football fans.
    He's blonde! He's pissed! He'll see you in the lists! Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein!
  • The chant gets a callback after William wins the tournament. Chaucer collects the groups winnings and walks away singing a new version:
    He's quick! He's funny! He makes me loads of money! Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein!
• Chaucer teaching Will how to dance, with Wat as his dance partner.
  Chaucer: And one and two and three and four and Wat doesn't lead, he follows like a girl.
  [Gilligan Cut]
  Chaucer: [with two bits of fabric stuffed up his bleeding nose} And one and two and twirly-twirly-twirly, and one and two and you’re still gettin’ it wrong! And one and two and three and four, you can hit me all day 'cause you punch like a...what?
  Roland: A girl!
  • The best part is that right after Chaucer sings the first line, there's a beat as Wat just stands there, trying to get a grip on his anger, giving Will a look. Will looks to him and his expression says "Go for it." Wat then pulls back his fist and hits Chaucer, then it cuts to Chaucer with the cloth up his bleeding nose.
• Wat going for Adhemar and Chaucer's reaction.
  "Well done, my lord! Noble victory!"
  • And before that, he calmly shoved Wat over to keep him from fighting Adhemar, cutting Wat who was ranting, "I'll fong you and all of Europe!"
    • Both to keep them all from getting into a huge amount of trouble, and curbing Wat's temper so he could make sure Will wasn't too badly injured.
• Wat's Lame Comeback to Jocelyn telling off William and comparing her with a flower to him with a horse and a stick is a petulant, "It's called a lance. Hellooo?"
• William decides he needs to write Jocelyn a letter to make up for his rather churlish behaviour earlier. Before it delves into Heartwarming, both Will and his comrade's attempts are rather amusing:
  Will: 'Dear Jocelyn' -no, 'My Dearest Jocelyn.
  Chaucer: *smiles* Better. *carries on transcribing it*
  Will: 'I miss you'.
  Chaucer: *hisses through his teeth*
  Will: Wait, hold. ...Was that wrong?
  Chaucer: Well, uh, it's up to you, really. It's your funeral-I mean letter.
  Wat: Say something about her breasts.
  Roland: Yeah, you miss her breasts.
  Will: Her breasts? *looks at Chaucer for confirmation*
  Chaucer: Yes, uh, you could. But I would tend to look above her breasts, William.
  William: I- I miss her throat?
  Chaucer: ...Still higher, really, towards the heavens?
  Kate: The moon, at least. Her breasts were not that impressive.
  • When Jocelyn is reading the letter and they get to Wats contribution, Wat who delivered the letter gives a little smirk to himself as if to say "Yup that's my part and she loves it!"
• Roland, when given instruction by Will to tell Christiana what he'll be wearing to the banquet, says the colours of their pavilion behind her, along with the "wooden toggles"(that are used to fasten the tent closed).
• Wat delivering Jocelyn's gift to Will. It's a kiss. William looks a bit confused for a moment...then realises and cheers.
• When Jocelyn asks Will what he'll wear to banquet that evening.
  Will: Nothing.
  Jocelyn: Then we shall create a sensation, for I shall I dress to match.
  • A few other Deadpan Snarker lines from Jocelyn are funny too, like her lamenting of her being So Beautiful, It's a Curse.
    Bishop: Does this not shock you, ladies!
    Jocelyn: Sir, I only laugh, just to keep from weeping.
    Bishop: Beauty is such a curse. Pray your years come swiftly, pray your beauty fades, so you may better serve God.
    Jocelyn: I do. I pray for it all the time. Why, God, did you curse me with this face?
  • And the priest offering his holy ring for Jocelyn to kiss...
    Jocelyn: Oh that is lovely.
  • This scene becomes even funnier in hindsight since the Bishop was played by Roger Ashton-Griffith, who plays him as every bit the self important oaf that his later, most famous role, Mace Tyrell would be known as.
• In a meta kind of way during the discussion of possible banner designs, hearing Roland suggest sticking with Sir Ector's stag, then agreeing with Wat's suggestion of a lion.
• The deleted scene where the group unexpectedly meets Chaucer's wife. They run into him walking around naked at night, and immediately assume he gambled away his clothes again. He then has his wife crawl out of bed, and Wat begins to charge at him. His wife then introduces herself and cheerfully guesses who each of Chaucer's friends are. Keep in mind that this entire time, Chaucer and his wife are butt-naked, causing Kate to cover Wat's eyes. And as everyone leaves to give the couple some privacy, Wat gives this line:
  Wat: [apologetically, to Mrs. Chaucer] I thought you was a prostitute!
  Chaucer: Get out!
  • Then his wife says, "they seem much more fun than those pilgrims you were with last year."
  • After the group leaves the Chaucers to themselves, Will hooks up with Jocelyn and they go off together, Roland hooks up with Christiana and they go off together, and Wat looks expectantly at Kate. Kate pulls a pastry out of her purse and gives it to Wat, who, though initially disappointed, walks off happily eating it. Perhaps it was a tansy cake with peppermint cream.
• Another fight between William and Joselyn ends up with him wanting to prove his love by giving up a very important tournament. He never told his crew this and they bet all their money against some rowdy Frenchmen that William will win. When they learn what he intends to do, they react with appropriate horror.

  Wat: I'm gonna lose everything!
  Chaucer: Well that's why it's called gambling!

  • Jocelyn's reaction when William is clobbered the first time is to roll her eyes and shake her head in disbelief, but once she realizes that he did it on purpose, as per her request, her expression changes to a delighted grin and she happily proclaims "He loves me!" As Willaim gets knocked around in all subsequent rounds, Jocelyn is seen not only watching it all very investedly, but turning her face away while grinning and giggling to herself, suggesting she might be having a bit of fun with letting this drag on just a little while longer.
  • After getting his ass kicked due to trying to prove his love for Jocelyn, William learns from her maid that she now wants him to win, leading to this exchange.
    Chaucer: There she is, the embodiment of love, your Venus!
    William: And how I hate her.
  • During the comeback montage, Roland off-handedly utters "Women, eh?"... to Kate, who despite her One of the Guys status gives him a withering glare.
  • After Will wins the tournament, Jocelyn goes to see him at night. When she realizes just how hurt he was from the lance blows, she looks horrified and tells him that it's all her fault. Will basically gives a blunt, "Yeah, it is". It's doubly funny since it comes in the middle of what's an otherwise courtly love romance scene.
• Adhemar's herald attempting to copy Chaucer's flamboyant style of introducing his lord, and the boys screwing with him by shining a mirror in his eyes to distract him while he's speaking:
  Germaine: My Lord, the Count Adhemar, Son of Phillip DeVitry, son of Gilles...er...Master of the Free Companies, defender...of his enormous manhood, a shining example of chivalry and champagne.
  • A deleted scene shows how his introduction is supposed to go:
    Germaine: My Lord, the Count Adhemar, Son of Phillip DeVitry, son of Gilles of Champagne, Master of the Free Companies, defender of the faith, a shining example of chivalry and manhood.
    Chaucer: [burps loudly directly behind him] You're not fit to herald a wood-chopper.
• When William suggests they enter more Jousting games. The speech seems epic and Wat and Roland seem to agree, but when Will drops his guard they both attack him. Wat going as far as biting Will's fingers both out of hunger and trying to get the silver coins out of his hands.
  Wat: Do you see how hungry I am?!
• How William convinces Kate to fix his broken armor.
  William: It's just as well, they told me I was daft for even asking.
  Kate: Who?
  William: The other armourers.
  Kate: Did they say I couldn't do it because I'm a woman?
  William: No, they said you were great with horseshoes, but shite with armour. The fact that you were a woman wasn't even mentioned.
  • She then grabs William's breastplate and cuddles it defensively.

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