In spite of the dramatism and seriousness of the source material, A Boy, a Girl and a Dog: The Leithian Script has plenty amusing, witty or even hilarious moments.
- How many weapons Beren keeps in his clothes? As seen in chapter 2, a lot.[Outside the Gates of Nargothrond. Enter Beren, escorted by the Rangers, but unbound]
Captain: Forgive me, sir, but you must leave your weapons with us. It isn't permitted to go armed into the presence of the King.
Beren: Of course. Hold on a minute —
[He hands over his bow, quiver, longsword, shortsword and dagger]
Captain: [relieved] Thank you for being so understanding about this. Now if you'll just come this way —
Beren: Not done yet.
[he takes assorted dirks from vambraces, leggings, belts and backpack]
Captain: [staring at the mounting pile] Oh...Is there more?
Beren: [working poniards out of cloak hem and hand-guards] Yup.
Captain: Is — is that everything?
Beren: [muffled, struggling out of his armor] No, there are still the backups, but you'll have to wait a bit.
[takes another several pounds of metal from undertunic, sleeves, and waistband]
Beren: That should do it.
- Beren is describing Carcharoth to his friends.Warrior: I'm still trying to imagine a wolf the size of an aurochs or larger.Steward: [dryly] How peculiar — I'm trying very hard not to.
- Doubles as a Heartwarming Moment, when the Steward tells Beren how Finrod reacted to hearing that Beren was no longer in Sauron's dungeon.Captain: Edrahil catches hold of him by the shoulders shouting, "He's safe — it's all right, he's safe," and Himself, too surprised to disappear, hears this and says, "Perhaps she'll forgive me, then," and we're trying to explain that it isn't what he thinks, and that takes a bit, and then a little longer for him to grasp it, and then all of the sudden he's back, and he says, "Well then, I suppose I should leave off mourning and go pay my respects to the Lord and Lady of the Halls and then to my kindred.
- Beren is telling his friends what Angband is like.Beren: — there were designs on them that I don't want to remember. And Balrogs. Multiple Balrogs.[pause]Youngest Ranger: Did you run into Glaurung?Beren: [deadpan] You know, I was wondering what was lacking to make the experience complete, and guess what, that was it. Somehow there was a disaster that we actually missed.Captain: [also straight-faced] Shocking inefficiency. I wonder how that happened.
- Namo is explaining to Lúthien the risks of becoming mortal and returning to Beleriand... and Finrod steals the spotlight completely.Namo: [dispassionate] You understand that this is the real thing — you will return to the world you left, and there are no guarantees that your lives will be safe, or happy, or long, or that anything will go easier on you than it has before, once you leave our realm, and our ability to protect you?[before either of the lovers can answer]Finrod: There were guarantees? Guarantees were made, and I somehow missed them?Namo: [wearily] — Finrod —Finrod: [going on as if he didn't hear] Edrahil, do you recall any guarantees that slipped my notice? I can't imagine I was ever that preoccupied.Steward: [shaking his head] — Only the ones we are all most familiar with, about living to regret it and dying horribly overseas. — Unless, perhaps, there were guarantees made to Middle-earth of which I have never been informed.Youngest Ranger: Not that I ever heard of, sir. — Unless the Lady Melian . . . ?Luthien: Mom never said anything like that.Finrod: I didn't think so — I thought I'd remember. My lord, what guarantees are you speaking of? I'd be interested in —Namo: — Finrod, please! [glares at him][Finrod shrugs, as his father and uncle share looks of bemused sympathy]Namo: [to Luthien and Beren] We mean that — as my colleagues have tried to make clear — the exceptions we are making will take you out of our jurisdiction and place you back into the war-zone you have just left. We won't be able to assist you, once you're back in Middle-earth, beyond the ordinary means at our disposal.