Freudian Slip / Real Life

• A radio commentator said "Martina Navratilova has been beaten in straight sex. Sorry, sets."
  • A BBC newsreader who announced "Israel has been invaded by lesbian forces".
  • Here's BBC News weatherman Alex Deakin mispronouncing the phrase "bucket loads of sunshine" into "bucket loads of cunt", before hastily trying to correct himself.
  • Then there's the now-famous clip in which BBC Radio 4 presenter James Naughtie accidentally mispronounces the name of Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt with a spoonerism for the ages! Cue fake "coughing fit" as Naughtie desperately tries to stop himself laughing at his mistake.
  • As this compilation including the above shows, this 'mistake' is hardly unheard of; some might argue that it's even being deliberately invoked!
• Many sportscasters have said "bulging dick" instead of "bulging disc".
• Minnesota ABC affiliate news anchor Bill Lunn says, "I pledge allegiance to the fag" right before reporting on a gay pride festival.
• In this news broadcast, a news anchor talks about a sausage eating competition she is judging, and says that people can get tickets on "pick a dick" (instead of Picatic).
• After a story about a lesbian woman, news anchor Cynthia Isaguirre said that they would interview Erik Weihenmayer after the break, who climbed Mt. Everest despite being gay... I mean blind.
• Fox News Channel reporter Shepard Smith once said that residents of Jennifer Lopez's home street in the Bronx "sound more likely to give her a curb job than a blow jo- or a bl-block party".
• Governor Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota had one during a hockey game. "Now it's time to drop the fu... er I mean puck." As a side note, the Face-Off in Hockey was originally going to be called a "Puck Off". It got changed for obvious reasons.
• Instead of saying 'Bela kuca' (White House), a Serbian news anchor once said 'Bela kurac' which means 'white cock'.
• George H. W. Bush has made a couple... interesting... gaffes.
  • About Ronald Reagan: "For seven and a half years I worked alongside him, and I'm proud of being his partner, and we had triumphs, we made some mistakes, we had some sex... setbacks."
  • Decades later: "Some of you may have gotten my ass em—my mass email... Freudian slip only!"
• Not to be outdone by his father, George W. Bush once said "America needs a military where our breast and brightest are proud to serve, and proud to stay".
  • And then he accidentally replaces Ukraine with Iraq, after leading up with a description of an illegal and destructive war made solely for profit.^note In 2022, Vladimir Putin suddenly declared war on Ukraine and began the first full-scale invasion in Europe in over 75 years. None of this has anything directly to do with Iraq.
• Silvio Berlusconi was complaining about the many charges against him, and said, that he already spent 200 million euros on "consultants and judges... consultants and lawyers."
• One Dilbert Newsletter has an allegedly true story where a boss who is hiring his daughter as a higher up, and at the meeting he states "Now you may accuse me of incest, but—" and one of his employees says "Don't you mean Nepotism?"
• It is amazing the number of valedictorians that say sex instead of success in graduation speeches. It always gets a big cheer from their peers however.
• In a common anecdote, a vicar attempting to introduce actress Diana Dors by her real name—Diana Fluck—was so nervous about mispronouncing her name that he introduced her as 'Diana Clunt'.
• This Memo◊
• This post on FailBlog.
• Not Always Right gives us this. Also, "Cockporn". (He meant "popcorn".)
• Students often mistakenly call teachers 'Mum' or 'Dad' revealing a great deal of affection for said teachers in doing so.
• If a male (say) teacher is working in a school with no other male staff, he should get used to being addressed as "Miss" or "Mrs" very quickly, especially from the younger kids.
• Freudian Slippers
• Someone on Stupid Free Drama at LiveJournal once infamously referred to capslock comms as "cockslap comms".
• Guy Sebastian in the Australian version of The X Factor had one here.
• In an interview, French politician Rachida Dati once used the word "fellation" instead of "inflation."
• Most likely, at least one person in your class have said "orgasm" for "organism" at school.
  • Or say "seduction" for "sedition" or "subduction".
  • A librarian once informed me that an octopus grasps its prey with its testicles.
  • Learning trigonometry, it is quite common to say "sex" when you mean "sec(x)", particularly because the latter sounds awkward.
• NHL analyst Darren Pang went on to comment about PK Subban, one of the very few black (and one of the most colorful) hockey players. He then compared him to Alex Pietrangelo, saying that Subban should be more like the latter who:
  Pang: Does everything, on the ice, off the ice, the white way, the right way.
• After Capitol Records had rejected the first three singles and the debut album of The Beatles in 1963, the independent Vee-Jay label had acquired the rights to them. When Beatlemania hit America in 1964, Vee-Jay tried to capitalize on the success by releasing the handful of songs they'd acquired over-and-over again on different albums.^note Vee-Jay had their rights to these tracks yanked away by EMI later on 1963 over a breach-of-contract issue, so their 1964 releases were technically a case of an indie label pirating material that didn't belong to them. The most desperate of these albums featured four Beatles songs sprinkled among eight songs by (the much, much less popular) crooner Frank Ifield. Even shadier, the album was called Jolly What! The Beatles and Frank Ifield On Stage, implying that it featured some live recordings by The Beatles. Anyone who was suckered into buying this album likely had already bought the Beatles songs on an earlier album. But there was some hilarity with the album's liner notes, which committed a memorable Malapropism on the word "compilation": "It is with a good deal of pride and pleasure that this copulation has been presented." Snopes.com has commented that "it provided an apt description of a record that screwed consumers out of their money."
• Following the assassination of the world's most wanted terrorist, Fox News reported "Obama bin Laden" dead.
  • In 2008, Dean Singleton, board chair of the Associated Press, made the same mistake in presence of the not-yet-President Obama.
  • Even more examples of the same goof.
• When Meryl Streep accepted a BAFTA for Best Original Screeplay for Charlie Kaufman, (who won it for Adaptation.) she said: "I would like to thank BAFTA for this wonderful honor, I would like to spank... thank Spike Jonze..."
• Political slip, awful slip. A rather right wing German politician comments on the Charlie Hebdo attacks that they happened sooner than he hoped. Of course he wanted to say feared. In any case, rather left wing politicians rejoiced. (Minor shitstorm ensues.)
• While announcing the nominees for Best Cinematography at the live 2015 Academy Award nominations, Academy head Cheryl Boone Isaacs meant to say "Dick Pope" (for Mr. Turner), but it came out as "Dick Poop". The flub became a meme almost faster than Isaacs could correct herself, and it's been viewed in the same light as John Travolta's "Adele Dazeem" flub.
• In one Russian newspaper, there was an article where a woman instead of "gryzun" (rodent) typed "gruzin" (Georgian). Some time later, a comment was published, explaining that Georgians and other people from the Caucasus Mountains have a reputation for being passionate lovers, and that lady apparently lacked something in her life.
• A Russian book called Mathematicians Joke as Well—a collection of funny stories and urban legends about mathematics - says that once, a professor took an article to a typist—a young single woman. For some reason, he was surprised to see that instead of "beskonechno malyy chlen" (infinitely small member) she typed "beskonechno milyy chlen" (infinitely dear member).
• A BBC News radio announcer accidentally said David Cameron (UK Prime Minister) had died instead of David Bowie.
• In the 2002 Pennsylvania 500 at Pocono Raceway, while sitting under the second red flag of the race after 27 laps due to a rainstorm (the first red flag happened on the very first lap after Steve Park (along with then-teammate Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who didn't flip) flipped into the infield and ripped out a section of guardrail on the inside of the track), NASCAR on NBC/TNT commentator Allen Bestwick commented, "It's been kind of a wet and bruising start to what was expected to be an exciting afternoon of rain." Cue laughs from the other commentators, and Bestick himself invoked the trope a few minutes later.^note in his defense, rainouts are frequent at Pocono, perhaps more so than any other track in NASCAR. The 2016 events gave Pocono the dubious distinction of being the only venue in NASCAR history to see both its Cup races pushed to the next day in the same season due to rainouts
• MSNBC anchor Chris Hayes once referred to 2016 presidential primary candidate Bernie Sanders as "Bernie Sandwiches" on air. He later explained on Twitter that he was looking at people being served dinner offscreen at the time. Similarly, Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly referred to him as "Bernie Sandals", resulting in people making actual Bernie Sandals.
  • Another news anchor in 2018, February 20, started of her segment with "President Tra-Trump, spent the morning...", while barely containing her laughter with a wide smile tucking the corners of her mouth as she corrected herself.
  • MSNBC anchor Stephanie Ruhle states that “California is farting wildfires” before correcting herself. Later on Seth Meyers, she stated that due to the large number of vegans and cleanses in California, they could actually be farting.
• Katherine Ryan, when presenting Have I Got News for You during times of heightened tension between the US and the UK regarding politics, she delivered a sentence perfectly — but with some incorrect emphasis. Note: furor can be pronounced the same as führer.
  "... despite the current furor President Trump. Oh, shit. Despite the current furor, President Trump is still planning..."
• Fox News anchor David Asman mispronouncing "title" as "tittle" when a picture of Miss Nevada Katie Rees in a bikini was on-screen. His instant awareness of how much he's screwed up is the topping of the cake.
• Nicolás Maduro mixes this with plenty of Malaproper. One of his most memorable speeches has him saying in regards to Capitalists: "They speculate and rob just like us".
• In one of his early sportscasting gigs as the play-by-play announcer for the American Basketball Association's Spirits of St. Louis, Bob Costas tried to say that the team didn't want to blow their lead as they had in the game they played the night before. But he fumbled it a bit and said "They don't want a repeat of last night's blow job." He got reprimanded but kept his job.
• A program director for a radio station whose slogan was "Continuous Soft Hits" once had to put a reminder memo out to DJs to enunciate it properly, so that it didn't come out sounding like "Continuous Soft Tits".
• One Salt Lake City TV anchor had to correct themselves on-air after saying "erotic" instead of "erratic".
• In 1991, Argentinian Minister of Economy Domingo Cavallo introduced the "1-to-1" policy (in which 1 peso would equal 1 US dollar) in a speech in which almost says "mentira" (lie) instead of "moneda" (currency).
• In a court of law in Vietnam in 2023 regarding libel aimed at various celebrities, a lawyer who was representing a celebrity couple (footballer Công Vinh and singer Thuỷ Tiên) accidentally addressed his clients as "Công Viên Thuỷ Tinh" (glass park). This quickly became a source for Memetic Mutation.

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