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Film / Vampires Suck

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"Some sagas just won't die."

A 2010 film by Seltzer and Friedberg, and the first one to concentrate on parodying a single franchise, rather than the usual system of parodying a single genre like Scary Movie or just parodying everything they could think of like Epic Movie (2007) and Disaster Movie (2008). As usual, the film is pretty trope-heavy, with most of them being lampshaded. It stars Matt Lanter, Jenn Proske and Ken Jeong.

The movie is a parody of The Twilight Saga, and got quite a bit of success at the box office, perhaps indicating that if there's one thing the public loves to mock more than Seltzer and Friedberg, it's Twilight. While most critics panned the film overall, many of them noted that Jenn Proske's dull-eyed Kristen Stewart impression almost saves it. In early 2011, the film also earned the distinct honor of competing with Twilight itself for four Golden Raspberry Awards, including Worst Picture.

Not to be confused with Your Vampires Suck. Definitely not to be confused with the other Vampire parody, Suck: Vampires Rock.

This film contains examples of:

  • Advertised Extra: Notice how "Lady Gaga" is on the cover of the movie itself (the page picture above). She (or rather an actress playing her) appears for a single throwaway joke that's actually in the trailer almost in its entirety.
  • Artistic License Biology: Becca can rip her biologicial father's moustache off. It comes off in one piece, leaving behind a moustache-shaped injury.
  • Artistic License Physics: Played for Laughs, with the vast majority of the jokes in the film not having any sort of logic behind the physics in the slapstick gags.
  • Beard of Sorrow: Edward starts growing one after breaking up with Becca.
  • Better than a Bare Bulb: Pretty much every single trope to be played straight in the Twilight Saga is lampshaded in this.
  • Black Comedy: Edward at one point is forced to juggle an apple, a bowling ball and a baby before he catches them in Becca's bag, with the baby landing in second place. Makes Just as Much Sense in Context, to be honest.
  • Blatant Lies: The trailers actually went so far as to make up acclaiming reviews by "reviewers" with punny names such as "Oliver Klozeoff".
  • Book Ends and/or Flashback: Like the Twilight films, the film starts with a scene from later on. Here, though, it's played for laughs.
    Becca's narration: Oh, wait, you've already seen this bit.
    • There's a hard zoom on Becca's mouth at the beginning and end.
  • Butt-Monkey:
    • Becca's father. The guy in a wheelchair can kick his ass.
    • Becca herself. She gets violently picked on first day at school, gets bricks falling down on her when in her room and Jennifer throws a champange bottle in her face while screaming "bitch!"
  • Camp Gay: All of the werewolves except Jacob. Being a Seltzer and Friedberg film, expect gay stereotypes to be in this film as well.
  • Compressed Adaptation: The film covers both Twilight and New Moon in less than 80 minutes and mocks them relentlessly.
  • Dominatrix: Becca dresses in this outfit at one point as a random gag some point in the film.