Sean: Listen, kid, when we're around, dicks get cut and dicks get sucked!
The Package is a 2017 Netflix original comedy film, directed by Jake Szymanski, with script by Kevin Burrows and Matt Mider.
Sean, a young student, comes back from a period away studying in Germany to spend some time with his friends, Jeremy and Donnie, camping. To his surprise, Jeremy's twin sister, Becky, and her best friend, Sarah, are accompanying them in their trip. Thing are going fine and the group is having fun until a prank goes wrong and Jeremy accidentally cuts off his own dick and the group needs to find a way to help him.
Not to be confused with the 1989 Andrew Davis film of the same name, starring Gene Hackman and Tommy Lee Jones.
- Achievements in Ignorance: While the group would have saved time if they'd found Jeremy in the first hospital, their trip to the second hospital allows the penis to get a temporary fresh blood supply while it's attached to Reginald, with the result that it's still in a usable condition when Sheryl cuts it off again.
- Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: The main plot is kicked off when Jeremy, currently high, is using a switchblade to slice through his urine stream and swings a bit too close after being startled.
- Ax-Crazy: Sheryl is Reginald's crazy girlfriend. Once she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her with her sister, she cut off his dick with scissors and flushed it down the toilet. When he got one re-attached, she pretended to apologize to get close to him, cut his dick off again and swore that she would cut his dick and flush it down every time, while saying she loves him.
- Big Damn Kiss: Subverted. When Sean is going to kiss Becky, she remembers that he sucked her brother's dick and decides not to kiss him yet, so she just kisses her own hand and touches it against his cheek. They actually do this at the very end of the movie.
- Chekhov's Gag: The first hospital the group gets to turns out to be the wrong one, Jeremy isn't there, only for Donnie to scream "fuck" and after a cut, everyone is in the next hospital. Then it turns out that was the right hospital, Jeremy was entered under the wrong name because he was using a fake ID at the time.
- Chekhov's Gun: Jeremy's fake ID. The group couldn't find Jeremy's hospital because he was not entered as Jeremy. The fake ID was the only ID he had at the time so it was the one he was entered as, therefore, they shouldn't have been looking for Jeremy, they should have been looking for the fake name.
- Dark Reprise: The final part of the movie has a dark reprise of Britney Spears's "Oops, I Did It Again", which the group sang together while waiting for help in the camp site.
- Deadly Prank: Downplayed. Sean and Donnie try to play a small prank on Jeremy while he is pissing, but since Jeremy is also playing with his knife and high, things go wrong and he cuts off his own dick.
- Failed Attempt at Drama: At the hospital, during Jeremy's surgery, Sean breaks into the doors and screams to stop the surgery, only to realize he wasn't into the surgery room yet. His actual entry in the surgery room wasn't that dramatic.
- Gag Penis: A lot. The characters are, after all, carrying a dick up and down a lot of the time.
- Hope Spot: The group finally reaches a hospital and when they ask about a dick, the receptionist gladly receives them and the surgery room is ready for them. After the surgery is done, it's revealed that they have given Jeremy's penis to the wrong patient.
- Malicious Slander: There was a rumor that Sean wasn't actually in Germany and had spent his time on a rehab clinic for bath salts. Donnie reveals he started this rumor.
- Mistaken for Pedophile: The main group is mistaken for this when they threaten a kid in order to get his father's boat (albeit after he attempted to get Sarah and Becky to 'scissor' in exchange for the keys). When the father returns, the kid is scared and can only repeat "dicks get cut, dicks get sucked". The father immediately starts attacking the group as they run away and Becky says he is probably in the right, as they are stealing his boat and he probably thinks they molested his son.
- Real After All: Kendall Jenners, Jeremy's internet girlfriend, turns out to be real, and not someone just trying to catfish him. They meet by the end of the movie.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: A somewhat weird example of this; after Reginald gives permission for the group to give Jeremy his original penis instead, the doctor who performed the operation gives them his access card to retrieve the penis from cold storage, albeit arguing that he doesn't want to get sued for malpractice for making the original mistake.
- Rule of Symbolism: Jeremy becomes fixated on the idea that a dying flower in his room represents the current condition of his penis, which the nurse points out doesn't make any sense.
- Shipper on Deck: Jeremy really wants for Sean to hook up with his sister, partially because he believes that if she's getting lucky, he'll feel the pleasure as well.
- Twin Telepathy: Jeremy insists on trying to see if this exists between him and Becky, believing that if one is having sex, the other can feel pleasure too. At one point, he also tries to see if he can send messages through his mind.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: When Sarah and Donnie are looking for the lost dick, they find it with a centipede crawling over it, prompting Sarah to puke over it, which is shown.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: Jeremy is a bit of a weirdo and tries to use tropes from several other genres that don't quite apply to a more grounded comedy. At one point, he believes that a flower slowly dying is a magic clock counting down the time that his friends have to reach him and tries to send messages to Becky using Twin Telepathy.