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Film / Robo Vampire

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Robo Vampire is a low-budget action movie. Actually, it is the remains of two different low budget movies cobbled together and passed off as a film in the style of Godfrey Ho, though whether Ho himself was involved in this film is debatable.

A Taoist priest and his army of jiangshi are hired by a drug lord to protect his smuggling operation from a group of commandos. Soon the priest awakens a powerful Vampire Beast to aid him in his new business venture. However a ghost appears and berates the priest for his actions. Apparently she and the Vampire Beast had loved each other when they were still alive but were forbidden from marrying each other. To solve this they commited suicide so they could be together in death. As a compromise the priest marries the two on the condition they would still serve him. Unable to deal with this new threat the commandos rebuild one of their fallen comrades into a cyborg known as RoboWarrior. Meanwhile, a female drug agent is kidnapped and must be rescued from deep within the jungle by a team of commandos.

This film is known among connoisseurs of bad films for its poor editing, terrible special effects, broken dubbing and total lack of coherency. You can also check out Obscurus Lupa's review here. Or you could just watch the entire film right here.

This film provides examples of:

  • Chinese Vampire: Filled with them.
  • Covers Always Lie: The cover shows RoboCop, and while RoboWarrior is clearly a ripoff of him, he looks very different, as well.
  • Damsel in Distress: A drug agent is kidnapped, raped, tortured and held prisoner in the middle of the jungle.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: The drug lord is so moved by the ghost's tragic love story that he insists the priest perform a marriage ceremony on the spot.
  • Hollywood Cyborg: RoboWarrior, the "android-like robot".
  • Monster Mash: A cyborg battles against Chinese vampires, a drug cartel, a Kung Fu priest, a half-naked ghost and whatever a "Vampire Beast" is.
  • Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Cyborgs, Chinese Vampires, Kung Fu priests, drugs lords, and ghosts all show up, but there is also a "Super Vampire," which is just a guy in a gorilla mask.
  • No Ending: RoboWarrior defeats the ape-pire, and then the movie just kind of stops.
  • Obvious Stunt Double: One review of the film points out that the white, blonde heroine is replaced in one scene by a stunt double who is... a dark-skinned, gray-haired short man with a moustache. The reviewer has a field day imagining what hiring this stunt actor must have looked like.
  • Off-the-Shelf FX: Put it this way … the Vampire Beast is a guy wearing a gorilla mask.
    • Unless the director's intention is that he was a gorilla before he was turned into a vampire. Which gives his romance with the ghost some unfortunate implications.
  • Together in Death: That was the plan anyway...
    Ghost: How dare you take my lover's corpse and turn it into a vampire beast! Now he is condemned to a living death and we can never be together in the afterlife!
    Taoist Priest: But he is from the east and you the west. How can you explain this?
    Ghost: Orientals are a stubborn race. Both his parents opposed our marriage. It was then that we decided if we could not be together in this life, Peter and I would be together forever in the afterlife! You have robbed us of this by turning him into a vampire beast!
    • Works out in the end though as they get married anyway despite being a ghost and some kind of super vampire creature.
  • Unholy Matrimony: The Vampire Beast and ghost become wed partway through the film.
  • We Can Rebuild Him: RoboWarrior. Twice. A drug agent is rebuilt as a cyborg after being killed by a vampire, then rebuilt again after being blown up by a rocket launcher.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Christine (the ghost) kills the priest at the end, RoboWarrior kills the "vampire beast", and... the movie ends without him doing anything about Christine.