Real Time is a 2008 Canadian comedy/drama directed by Randall Cole. It stars Jay Baruchel and Randy Quaid.
Andy Hayes (Baruchel) is a gambler who's in way too deep with the sharks. Ever-clinging to the idea that all he needs is one more chance, he's surprised when hitman Reuben (Quaid) comes to him and tells him his bosses have had enough and want him dead. Being a rather amicable fellow, he gives Andy 1 hour to reflect, visit loved ones, do anything he wants before he meets his maker. What follows is a funny, sometimes heart-wrenching film about life, death, and second chances.
This film contains examples of:
- Bait-and-Switch: Andy is not the one who ends up with a bullet to the brain.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: Andy tearfully tells his grandmother that despite everything, she was the only one in his whole life to ever treat him with kindness or respect.
- Born Unlucky: Andy sees himself as this.
- Bullying a Dragon: As if Andy’s financial woes weren’t enough, he was apparently overheard calling his hare-lipped loan shark “funny face”.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Reuben's probably the most accommodating hitman you'll ever meet...until it's time for business.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Andy's first words spoken on screen are almost exclusively this.
- Cosmic Plaything: Andy declares himself the ultimate one.
- Dead Man Walking: It’s not Andy.
- Deadpan Snarker: Andy, full stop.
- Disappeared Dad: Andy briefly mentions his.
- Even Evil Has Standards: It's revealed Reuben was actually sent to kill Andy once before, but upon finding out his mark was a teenager (at the time), decided to spare the kid and quietly pay off his debts himself.
- Face Death with Dignity: Reuben urges Andy to do this.
- Funny Background Event: Andy face-planting onto his grandmother's lawn from the second story window in another attempt to escape from Reuben, and failing- repeatedly- to get to his feet.
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Fake Nationality: Randy Quaid as an Australian hitman. - Get It Over With: Andy eventually taunts Reuben with this note and gets a bullet to the knee for his trouble.
- Hitman with a Heart: Reuben
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Jerkass Woobie: Foul-mouthed and foolish though he may be, you can't help but feel sorry for Andy. - Kindhearted Cat Lover: Despite all his faults, Andy seems to genuinely care for his cat Cleo, moreso than other people or even himself. Reuben calls him out on this.
- His grandmother is also in possession of ten cats, some of whom she admits are neighborhood strays she couldn't leave homeless.
- Loan Shark: Reuben works for one.
- Multitasked Conversation: Andy and his grandmother quickly and cleverly work up a dialogue that (temporarily) allows him to escape by way of his asking if her old cat is still alive. His grandmother tells him she's upstairs and he goes to see. the cat died when Andy was 11. See Funny Background Event.
- One Last Smoke
- Pet the Dog: Reuben leaves Andy a check for $68,000.
- Real Time: Ironically enough, no. We see Andy's supposed last 60 minutes of life play out over a little under two hours.
- Took a Level in Kindness: Andy
- Trapped by Gambling Debts: Andy, to the tune of a whopping $68,000.
- Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Andy, until he started gambling.
- Wham Line:
- "'Bad luck' is finding out what you thought was an ulcer is really a fucking tumor!"
