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Lloyd: If we can just get through the play once tonight for doors and sardines. That’s what it’s all about. Doors and sardines. Getting on – getting off. Getting the sardines on – getting the sardines off. That’s farce. That’s the theatre. That’s life.
Belinda: Oh, Lloyd, you're so deep.

Not... exactly a textbook farce, not exactly a backstager, really not even exactly a play, the 1982 comedy Noises Off might perhaps be best described as a repeating exploration of everything that can go wrong in live theatre. All at once. With perfect, split-second timing. Done right, this work of staggering theatrical genius can make you wet your pants — either from laughing too hard (if you don't have extensive backstage theatrical experience) or from horrified flashbacks (if you do).

The play is in three acts; the first depicts what happens on stage during the dress rehearsal for Nothing On, a Feydeauesque door-slamming sex farce that's opening in mere hours, with a cast that hasn't had the rehearsal time they'd like, one of whom is not all there, one of whom is even less there, one of whom has trouble with blood, another of whom has trouble with finishing sentences, and, of course, with sardines. We see the Show Within a Show proceed, with the occasional pause for corrections, mistakes, errors, misunderstandings, rumors, and of course sardines.

The second act shows us backstage at the same play after it's opened and has been running a while, when all of the petty jealousies, rivalries, irritations, and pet peeves have been well stoked and are in full flower. Axes, sardines, and whiskey all make their appearances, and part of the charm at this point is watching the actors attempt to kill each other while still trying to make it out onto the "stage" on cue.

The third act then wraps everything up with another iteration of the first act, as the audience would see it, after the cast has been on the road for far too long, and everyone hates each other.

Written by Michael Frayn (who among other things also wrote the screenplay for the John Cleese movie Clockwise), who was inspired to write a "behind the scenes" farce after watching rehearsals and performances of his 1970 anthology play The Two of Us, particularly the final play in which two performers (Richard Briers and Lynn Redgrave in the original West End production) play multiple characters each and must make lightning quick costume changes; Frayn decided the view from behind the stage was funnier than the view from in front of it.

A film version was released in 1992, directed by Peter Bogdanovich and featuring an all-star cast headed by Michael Caine as Lloyd the director, with Carol Burnett, Christopher Reeve, Denholm Elliott, John Ritter, Marilu Henner, and Nicollette Sheridan as the cast of Nothing On and Julie Hagerty and Mark Linn-Baker as the overworked backstage crew. Marty Kaplan's screenplay adds a Framing Device about Nothing On going to Broadway, and is presented as a flashback as Lloyd describes what a nightmare the show has been; it also gives the plot an actual ending.


"Noises Off" Has Examples of the Following Tropes:

  • Adaptation Deviation: The stage show features the "play" being performed at three locations in the United Kingdom. In the film, the show is touring the U.S. with the final goal to open on Broadway. Also, all the characters in the play have English backgrounds, whereas in the film, Lloyd, Seldson, and Brooke remain the only English characters.
  • Adaptational Expansion: As stated in the description, the film adds framing narration from Michael Caine's character of Lloyd between each "act." Also, when we're introduced to Lloyd, he's panicking outside the Broadway theater expecting his career to be over because, as we find out from the film progression, every time the show has been put on, it's gotten worse due to the cast infighting. At the end of the film, Lloyd hears riotous laughter, and comes in to find the cast has settled their differences and put on a successful show. This is vastly different from the end of the stage show, which ends after the third disastrous performance of the first act and offers no resolution to the relationship problems we've seen throughout the course of the play.
  • Adaptation Name Change: In the film version, Lloyd and Freddie have their surnames switched from the play (Lloyd Fellowes, Frederick Dallas).
  • The Alcoholic: Selsdon.
  • All There in the Manual: The program gives bios for the cast of Nothing On, which describe (among other things):
    • How Dottie and Roger got together (in "On The Zebras", where she played a lollipop lady and he played an ice-cream man who charmed all the lollipop ladies).
    • That Brooke pretty much exclusively plays Ms. Fanservice, generally Fanservice Extras.
    • Freddie, ironically for someone Afraid of Blood, works mostly in medical shows.
    • The play's author, Robin Housemonger, has written sixteen plays before this, and they all seem to be the same sort of British Sex Comedy.
  • Ass Shove: Lloyd is on the receiving end of this by Garry. By a cactus.
  • Astonishingly Appropriate Interruption: Three times during Act 2, with some reactions backstage lining up perfectly with the offstage reactions needed for the Show Within a Show:
    • At one point, Freddie, after seeing Belinda pick up a fire axe to break down a locked door, inadvertently shouts "OH GOOD LORD ABOVE!"note ... precisely on cue — because he's performed the role so many times that he reflexively says the line.
    • Additionally, after being handed a bottle of whiskey to hide from Selsdon, he groans loudly with surprise... right when his character needed to groan in the script.
    • Late in the act, when Garry shoves a cactus up Lloyd's bottom, the latter's scream lines up with Brooke's scream as her character finds someone in the downstairs bathroom.
  • Ax-Crazy: During the second attempt at act one, Garry and Dotty become so incensed they bring a fire axe into play. Garry goes for Freddie with it, while Dotty attempts to use it on Garry himself.
  • Bad "Bad Acting": Poppy and Timothy when they're forced to cover for other actors, which is not surprising since they're stagehands, not actors. Timothy's Fake Brit accent in the 1992 film is hilariously pathetic. invoked
  • Cactus Cushion: Lloyd sits on one at the end of Act II.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Hilariously zig zagged. As the second attempt of act one goes further and further off the rails, Lloyd, who's watching from the audience, storms backstage to right the ship. He's successful, but only to a point.
    • Subverted in act one's third attempt. He shows up backstage, gets stuffed into the burglar outfit and thrust onstage to try and salvage the completely-off-the-rails first act, but it's so beyond salvaging that he basically attempts a Screw This, I'm Outta Here instead.
  • Casting Couch: Lloyd jokes about this with Poppy in Act I, to her surprise, given that the two of them are (or at least were) in a relationship.
  • Chekhov's Gun: The two extra burglar suits come into play in one of the last gags of the play.
  • Cryptic Background Reference: In the stage show only, the mini program for "Nothing On" credits several props that are never seen, and are likely to be a part of the never-seen second act.
  • Deadpan Snarker: The director has seen it all, and is not happy about having done so.
  • Detachable Doorknob: During the third run-through, Belinda accidentally pulls the handle off trying to close the linen cupboard door, and unsuccessfully attempts to replace it during her next scene. This means when Garry can't open said door to find Brooke inside, he has to pull her out through the bedroom door.
  • Didn't Think This Through: Ironically, the entire "cast" falls under this trope. Especially in the film. They're all made up of fading stars or unknowns, they have a shot to put a show on Broadway, and they're so focused on torpedoing each other on stage that they're guaranteeing the show will be a huge flop when they get there. At least in the film, they get their issues straightened out in time to put on a hit.
    • Invoked with Lloyd, especially in the stage version. While his relationships with Poppy and Brooke are bad enough, in the mini program that accompanies the stage show program, the info states that Poppy's father is one of the sponsors of the show. He's literally two-timing the daughter of the guy financing the show. And then he gets her pregnant as well.
  • Dumb Blonde: Brooke is the walking embodiment. The girl just doesn't have much going on upstairs. For example, she has contact lenses that easily come out. She gets bumped during the first rehearsal of act one, indicates she's lost one, and sends everyone save for Lloyd into a panic searching the floor for it before she suddenly straightens up and announces that she found it...In her eye.
    • Freddie has more going on upstairs than Brooke, but not by a whole lot. Even though they're less than a day from opening, he stops the show in the middle of rehearsal because he absolutely has to know why "the sheik looks like Phillip." He's also completely oblivious to the fact that when Dotty and Garry are fighting before they perform the second attempt of act one, that Dotty is intentionally sidling up to him to make Garry jealous.
  • Everyone is Jesus in Purgatory: The programs will always wax philosophical about sardines. invoked
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: In the film only. At the very end of the film, we see the last few seconds of the play's final act. At the curtain call we see strong hints that Garry has moved on from Dotty and is now with Brooke, Belinda is now with Freddie, and Dotty and Selsdon are together. Then when Lloyd gets dragged on stage to bow with the happy cast, they stand him next to Poppy and raise Lloyd and Poppy's left hands, revealing wedding rings while Lloyd and Poppy smile. Awww.
  • Exhausted Eyebags: Dallas/Fellowes verbally abuses and horribly and appallingly works stage manager Timothy Allgood to the point of a complete and total collapse, endangering his health, all to whip the mess of a production of Nothing On into a coherent presentation. Poor Timothy ... he hasn't slept in nearly two days, yet is shouted at and belittled to the point of dehumanization when he is told to repair props that won't work and that he had better be ready to understudy several actors in an instant — which is basically himself.
  • Fake Brit: In-Universe in the 1992 film, all of the actors save Selsdon (Elliott) and Brooke (Sheridan) are Americans putting on British accents.
  • Farce: In fact, it's a farce about a theatre troupe performing a farce.
  • Flowers of Romance: Lloyd attempts this with Brooke, but they keep getting intercepted. He ends up giving her a cactus. She takes it about as well as you would expect.
  • From Bad to Worse: Every production of the Show Within a Show ends up getting more and more chaotic, until eventually most of the actors are making things up as they go along.
    • Played for ultimate laughs in the disastrous third attempt. The show is going so badly at that point that when Lloyd shows up backstage they stuff him into the costume of the burglar and send him on stage at the burglar's cue line to try and salvage things. Then the line gets repeated, and Selson makes his entrance as he normally would. Then when they're trying to figure out where to go from here, the cue gets repeated a third time and ''Tim" comes on, leaving Lloyd, Selsdon, and Tim saying the burglar's lines in unison as Lloyd desperately tries to figure out what the Hell to do.
  • Glad I Thought of It: Selsdon, several times after Lloyd gives him direction. Downplayed because Selsdon is hard of hearing, and misheard what Lloyd said, but instead suggests exactly what Lloyd told him to do.
  • A God Am I: Lloyd is fond of saying "And God said...", meaning himself.
  • Hilarity Ensues: The entire point of Noises Off is to depict what might result when everything that could go wrong does: A director who is in over his head, actors who are clearly incompetent or ill-suited to being cast in a major theatrical production and a stage manager who desperately needs sleep. In the real world, given that the play is clearly nowhere close to being ready to present to the audience, a competent director would postpone opening night. If any play actually did open with everything as ill-ready as it was, the play might not make it past opening night … maybe not even through opening night. Additionally, the director (Lloyd Dallas/Fellowes, whose abilities as a director leave much to be desired despite him fancying himself as the greatest) would likely be blacklisted and might also face legal trouble for his overworking of stage manager Timothy Allgood, particularly if he were to suffer health issues due to being denied the chance to sleep.
  • Honorable Marriage Proposal: Implied at the end of the film, with Lloyd and Poppy showing off matching wedding rings.
  • How We Got Here: The movie starts with Lloyd running away from Nothing On's Broadway debut, then flashes back to the problems that it had while touring.
  • Intimate Healing: Lloyd's plan at the beginning of Act II. Brooke is suffering from "nervous exhaustion", so he's showing up to spend the time between the matinee and the evening show with her, a bottle of whiskey, and a bouquet of flowers. It goes about as well as any other plan in this play.
  • Kayfabe: All productions will have the theater program be about Nothing On, not Noises Off. It's also mandatory that the program have as many references to sardines as possible.
  • Lingerie Scene: Brooke spends the vast majority of the play in her underwear. Her character Vicki disrobes to bra, panties and garter early in the first act of Nothing On and stays that way through the act (except when she covers up with a sheet). Since we only ever see the first act, the only time she is not in her skivvies is waiting backstage before the show in Act 2 or when she and Garry enter in the very first scene.
    Mrs. Clackett: There she stands in her smalls for all the world to see!
  • Love Triangle:
    • There's a prominent love triangle between Lloyd, Poppy, and Brooke. In the film, Lloyd marries pregnant Poppy. In the stage show, it ends after the the disastrous third attempt of act one that we see and we never find out if Lloyd picked Poppy, Brooke, or either of them.
    • The second act sets one up between Garry, Dottie, and Freddie, though at the time, Freddie isn't aware he's being roped in as such. By the third act, this has progressed to Dottie, Freddie, and Belinda.
  • May–December Romance: Garry and Dottie. Lloyd points this out in his usual manner.
    Garry: So what are we waiting for?
    Lloyd: I don't know what you're waiting for, Garry, her sixteenth birthday?
  • Meaningful Name: Garry Lejeune is pretty jejune Definition  which then becomes a subversion when he gets violently jealous, and Dottie is... dotty.
  • Method Acting: In-Universe, Fred is an extreme method actor, which drives Lloyd nuts.
  • Mistaken for Cheating: Whenever Garry comes backstage during Act Two, he sees Dottie apparently involved with Freddie or Lloyd.
  • Mistaken Message: Lloyd tries to send flowers to Brooke (via Tim), but they keep getting intercepted, mostly by Poppy.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Brooke spends much of her screen/stage time walking around in little more than bra, panties and garter. The notes about her in the program indicate that this is a very common sort of role for her.
  • Nice Guy: Freddie is polite, professional, and friendly with the rest of the cast, and helps cheer Dottie up after her breakup with Garry. He's also totally oblivious to the chaos his good intentions cause, which leads to Garry attempting to kill him with a fire axe and causes an enormous feud between Dottie and Belinda.
    • Selson is also sweet, and a good actor, he's just a raging alcoholic and has to be watched constantly.
    • On the female side, Belinda is the Team Mom until act one's third attempt and Poppy is shy and sweet as can be.
  • No Ending: In the stage version, jarringly so. Michael Frayn couldn't seem to find an ending, so the play simply... stops. Peter Bogdanovich managed to find an ending to the play, and even an ending for Nothing On!
  • "No. Just… No" Reaction:
    Fred: Why do I take this into the study? Wouldn't it be more natural if I left it?
    Lloyd: (flatly) No.
    Fred: I just thought it might be more logical.
    Lloyd: (flatly) No.
  • Noodle Implements: We never see the second act of Nothing On, but according to the production credits in the in-universe program, it apparently makes use of a stethoscope, a hospital trolley, a straitjacket, and at least two coffins. Belinda also mentions that the second act's plot relies on the rest of the characters mistaking the Sheikh for Phillip.
  • Only Sane Man: Belinda and Freddie. By act three, only Freddie (marginally with him and his extreme fear of blood).
    • Lloyd makes an attempt as well.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: In the film, during the third act, every American actor is so flustered they lose the Fake Brit accent they'd been using. invoked
  • Painting the Medium: During the first scene, they establish that the characters are performing a play by having both Lloyd and Selsdon be placed within the audience in the first scene - Lloyd because he is watching the rehearsal from the audience's perspective (as most directors do), and Selsdon because he is implied to be loafing around within the In-Universe empty theatre.
  • Pet the Dog:
    • Freddie drives Lloyd crazy repeatedly asking why his character is lugging around a box of groceries. Upon hearing that Freddie's wife has just left him, Lloyd spontaneously comes up with a reason that speaks to both Freddie's professionalism and his personal life.
    • Lloyd tries to do this in-universe, taking a hiatus from directing "Richard III" ("Hamlet" in the film) to appease Brooke, who keeps calling him to tell him she has "nervous exhaustion" and wants to leave the show. Not only is he seemingly unsuccessful based on how things go, but it's also self-subverted, as the main reason he's doing it all is not to make her happy, but because his current production is going badly and he doesn't have time to replace Brooke.
    • In the film, at the end of the first successful Broadway performance, the cast drag Tim, Poppy, and Lloyd on-stage for bows.
  • Precision F-Strike:
    • In Act 1, Garry attempts a compliment toward Lloyd, who just wants to get on with the late night rehearsal:
      Garry: I've worked with a lot of directors, Lloyd. Some of them were geniuses, some of them were bastards, but I've never met one who was so totally and absolutely... I don't know.
      Lloyd: Thank you, Garry, I'm very touched, now get off the fucking stage.
    • In Act 2, Lloyd reacts badly to the constantly changing start times.
      Lloyd: What the FUCK is going on?!
  • Proscenium Reveal: The play opens with a housekeeper walking on stage and nattering into the phone. Then as she's walking off, she says, "I take the sardines... I leave the sardines..." and an off-stage director's voice says, "You take the sardines, and you leave the newspaper." This reveals that what you're actually watching is a rehearsal of a Play Within a Play.
  • The Rashomon: Well, not really. But it is three distinct takes on the same story — it's just three different run-throughs of the same act, not three different people telling different versions.
  • Realistic Diction Is Unrealistic: Garry does fine when reciting lines, but whenever he's off script he doesn't start a single thought without forgetting how it... you know?
  • Really Gets Around: Lloyd is sleeping with Poppy, the stage manager, AND Brooke. And in the opening scene, we see him check out the arse of an attractive stage hand as he comes down to the main stage to talk to Dotty. The play also includes this.
  • Repeated Cue, Tardy Response: There are a few times during the backstage chaos in Act 2 where one of the actors miss their entry cue, so it has to be repeated by someone on stage.
  • Right Behind Me: Poppy is discussing Selsdon's distinctive...aroma...without realizing he's right behind her. Fortunately, his being hard of hearing and a Cloudcuckoolander combine to make him not realize he's being insulted.
    Poppy: No, I mean, if you stand anywhere near Selsdon you can’t help noticing this very distinctive... (She stops, sniffing.)
    Selsdon: (putting his arm round her) I’ll tell you something, Poppy. Once you’ve got it in your nostrils you never forget it. Sixty years now and the smell of the theatre still haunts me.
  • Rule of Threes: Lampshaded by Dottie when Tim, Selsdon, and Lloyd enter as the Burglar in act 3.
    "They always come in threes, don't they?"
  • Running Gag: Given that they do the same Act three different ways, most of the jokes tied to the "Nothing On" become running gags.
    • Sardines. Sardines come on. Sardines come off. It's all about the sardines, love.
    • Lloyd speaking biblically "And God said where the hell is Tim? And there the hell was Tim."
      Lloyd: I'm starting to know what God felt like when he sat out there in the darkness, creating the world.
      Belinda: And what did he feel like, Lloyd my dear?
      Lloyd: Very pleased he'd taken his Valium.
    • Door gags.
    • Brooke losing her contact lenses.
    • "Where's Selsdon?!"
  • Say My Name:
    • A third of Lloyd's dialog seems to be him screaming, "POP-PY!"
    • The cast and crew are often calling out Selsdon's name because he might be off sloshed somewhere.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: After Lloyd gets thrust onstage during the disastrous third attempt of act one, Lloyd has no idea how to salvage things to end the act and attempts to flee the stage, before the rest of the cast improvises and stops him.
    • Invoked in the second try of act one. Prior to the show, Lloyd keeps coming back to try and smooth things over, but gets so frustrated that he declares the show beyond the help of any director, tells them to just perform it, and sulks off to the audience to watch it.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: "A Glimpse of the Noumenal", from the program, is a long-winded dissection of the cultural importance of bedroom farce.
    "Another recurring feature is the fall or loss of trousers. This can be readily recognised as an allusion to the Fall of Man and the loss of primal innocence. The removal of the trousers traditionally reveals a pair of striped underpants, in which we recognise both the stripes of the tiger, the feral beast that lurks in all of us beneath the civilised exterior suggested by the lost trousers, and perhaps also a premonitory representation of the stripes caused by the whipping which was formerly the traditional punishment for fornication."
  • Seven Minute Lull: Just as Poppy shouts that Lloyd has gotten her pregnant at the end of Act II. (Which is actually just the first act seen the second time.)
  • Sex Comedy: "Nothing On" is a British sex farce. Noises Off, therefore, bears more than a bit of resemblance to one.
  • The Show Must Go On: The whole play is an illustration of this trope. The theatrical version, however, implies that the show is an utter failure in the end.
  • Show Within a Show: Nothing On. Noises Off does its best to pass Nothing On off as a real play, as the program will be for Nothing On, with the cast, director, and the author having biographies in the theater program — and as many references to sardines as possible. There is a pseudo-intellectual letter from the director about the symbolism of the sex farce. There are even fake ads in the program, including restaurants bragging about — of course — their sardines. The actual script tries to pass Nothing On as legitimate as well, with the Index page reading, "Act 1", "Act 1", and "Act 1". The script after that page does mention the proper Act numbers, though.
  • Slapstick: The production and the Show Within the Show have very exactly timed slapstick, though the meta-production's slapstick is of the hostile, vengeance variety.
  • Special Effect Failure: Invoked for laughs — Since one aspect of the play is how this can happen in live theatre performances, the script calls for a few parts of the play to mess up - most notably doors.
  • Staircase Tumble: Two different characters do this in the third act, rather badly injuring themselves, but The Show Must Go On!
  • Suddenly Shouting:
    • Lloyd is prone to this.
      Lloyd: You carry them into the study because it's slightly after midnight and we're not going to be finished before we open tomorrow. Correction: BEFORE WE OPEN TONIGHT!!!
    • Combined with a Seven Minute Lull at the end of Act II, when Poppy shouts, "I'M PREGNANT!"
  • Take That!: Knowledge of British film and theater would know that the character of Freddie is a mockery of Uta Hagen and Constantin Stanislavski's Method Acting; classically trained British actors are taught just to make the part theirs instead of trying to get inside the heads of characters for motivation.
  • Team Mom: Belinda serves this role in act one and "act two," doing her best to motivate the unhappy cast and keep things going when the second attempt starts going off the rails. By "act three," she's just as pissed as everyone else and starts doing sabotage of her own, in part because of Dotty's attempts to woo the clueless Freddie, who Belinda is fiercely protective of.
  • Trash the Set: Invoked in the final scene, the actors (who have been touring for too long) are intentionally acting reckless with the set, resulting in them accidentally breaking parts of it. Truth in Television - it's not uncommon (Especially in performances of this play) for actors to accidentally do things such as breaking the railings on the stairs when they fall down the stairs or actually breaking the doors or the props.
  • Truth in Television: As anyone who has theatrical experience can tell you, this play is dead on with what sorts of things go wrong with a play. Allegedly, the author was watching a play they wrote from backstage, and thought what was going on backstage was more interesting than the play.
  • Watsonian versus Doylist: Freddie is such a method actor, he needs a motivation for everything. The director and his co-stars tell him it's because the jokes later in the play will have no sense without certain things happening, and that he also plays the Sheik because it's part of a joke. Because Freddie's deeply depressed from a recent divorce, Lloyd gives up and gives him a Watsonian reason for why his character is doing anything and why he looks exactly like the Sheik.
  • White-Dwarf Starlet: Dottie is funding the entire play as a comeback vehicle.
  • Your Makeup Is Running: At least one version has Belinda's character experience this after she suspects her husband of cheating on her with Vicki. If you look closely during a backstage scene from Act 2, you can actually see Belinda apply extra mascara in preparation for this scene.

The Show Within a Show "Nothing On" Has Examples of the Following Tropes:

  • Accidental Innuendo: Roger is extremely interested in getting it on with Vicki, so much so that the horndog keeps making innuendo because he can't help himself. invoked
  • Accidental Misnaming: "Clackett, dear, Clackett."note 
  • Accidental Pervert: Roger and Vicki think Philip is some sort of "sex pervert" after he chases Vicki around with his pants around his ankles.
  • Acting for Two: Invoked: Freddie plays both Philip and a Sheikh. Freddie lampshades it by asking about the Contrived Coincidence.
    • Tim stands in for Freddie as the sheik so Freddie can costume change, (he drops behind a couch so Freddie can then stand up and replace him, if the first act had ever gone successfully, as well as being the understudy for, and going on for Selsdon as the "burglar" after the entrance cue line is repeated for a third time during the disastrous third attempt of act one.
  • Arab Oil Sheikh: Freddie's second role, who wants to rent the house.
  • Blatant Lies: Roger lies to Vicki that he owns the house, when he's really just the agent. Philip and Flavia tell Mrs. Clackett to lie and claim they weren't home.
  • Contrived Coincidence: Part of the farce.
    • Philip and the Sheikh look exactly alike for no reason given in the play.
    • Roger decides to use the house for an assignation on the same day that Mrs. Clackett decides to stay late to watch "the royal", the day that Philip and Flavia come back for their anniversary, and the day that the burglar decides to rob the place.
    • Vicki (who doesn't realize whose house it is) works for the tax agency looking into the Brents' tax evasion.
    • Vicki is The Burglar's daughter.
  • Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": The Sheikh is only ever called the Sheikh.
  • Farce: It's a British sex farce.
  • "Fawlty Towers" Plot: Appears to be building toward this, as Roger and Philip are both building up a large number of lies.
  • Foreshadowing: At the start of the play, when Roger surprises Mrs. Clackett, she explains her scream of fright with "I thought you was a burglar!" And what should show up before the first act is even halfway over, but...
  • Homage: Nothing On is a pastiche of Georges Feydeau's work: sex farces with ridiculous situations and door slamming.
  • I Was Never Here: The Brents certainly aren't in the country, because Inland Revenue would be upset. Just ask them.
    Philip: Don't tell me, I'm not here.
  • Identical Stranger: Philip and the Sheikh.
  • Intimidating Revenue Service: The Brents are certainly terrified by Inland Revenue, and living abroad in an attempt to avoid paying their taxes. Vicki works for Inland Revenue, in the office that's looking into the Brents' taxes.
  • Lingerie Scene: Vicki strips down to her underwear fairly early in Act I, and spends the rest of the act like that.
  • Long-Lost Relative: Vicki is the burglar's daughter, who ran away years ago.
    • When Freddie asks why Phillip and the Arab Oil Sheikh look exactly the same, Lloyd attempts to justify it using this trope (claiming it comes from an earlier draft of the play).
  • Minimalist Cast: There's only six actors (with Freddie playing two roles). The film has Poppy and Tim playing one-off constables in the ending that wasn't in the original play.
  • Mistaken for Cheating: Flavia sees Vicki in her underwear and Philip with his pants around his ankles, and comes to the reasonably-logical conclusion that these two things are related.
  • My New Gift Is Lame: Flavia finds Vicki's dress and describes it as "tarty", then realizes it must have been a gift from Philip.
    Flavia: Well, I’ll put it in the attic, with all the other things you gave me that are too precious to wear.
    (She goes to the attic and throws it out the window.)
  • Rule of Threes
    • Roger: "We'll only just manage to fit it in. I mean, we'll only just do it. I mean, we won't bother to chill the champagne."
    • Roger: "I just came to go into a few things. *SLAM* Well, to check some of the measurements. *SLAM* Do one or two odd jobs."
  • Running Gag: Sardines - there are four separate plates of sardines in just Act One, as characters keep carrying them off and Mrs. Clackett keeps making new plates.
  • Satchel Switcheroo: Vicki's box of files and Roger's flight bag look exactly like Philip's box of groceries and Flavia's flight bag.
  • Sex Comedy: It's a British sex farce.
  • Sticky Situation: Philip tries to glue the envelope from Inland Revenue closed again, and ends up stuck to the tax demand and a plate of sardines.
  • Tied Up on the Phone: An insanely long phone cord used for slapstick purposes is one of the few bits which actually goes as planned.
  • "You!" Exclamation: At the end of Act I, everyone thinks the Sheikh is Philip, yelling, "YOU!" before attacking him.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Do Garry and Dotty patch things up? Does Lloyd marry pregnant Poppy? Does he stay with Brooke? Does the infighting ever stop long enough for the cast to mount a successful show? The play ends before we ever find out.

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