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Film / Nine Lives (2002)

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Nine Lives is a 2002 British B-horror film that is remembered only for having Paris Hilton in it and for being So Bad, It's Good. It starts out fairly promising with some good Character Development and an interesting premise, but it ultimately fails in the second and third acts due to bad acting and general plot-induced stupidity.

The story follows nine friends who all went to the same posh university (never mentioned but probably not Oxford or Cambridge) meeting up for the weekend at a manor in Scotland. On the first night it snows heavily, trapping them there and one of the guys reads a book about the man who used to own the house. He ends up being possessed by the man's ghost and proceeds to murder the others. The ghost has a clever back up plan - anyone who kills the person he's possessing will be possessed themselves.

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This film provides examples of:

  • Ambiguously Brown: Laura, played by Amelia Warner who curiously has white parents but is quite dark skinned herself.
  • And I Must Scream: Murray's eyes were cut out and fed to him.
  • Bathing Beauty: Jo certainly likes to have baths, wanting to take one before dinner and then taking another late at night.
  • Black Eyes of Evil: Whoever is possessed by Murray.
  • Blind Without 'Em: Damian
  • Call-Back: Laura uses Pete's dice under the cup trick as reasoning why she can't let him and Damian into the locked room.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Damian
    Andy: "I hate England when it gets dark before 4"
    Damian: "Yeah, especially when you're in Scotland"
  • Died in Your Arms Tonight: Laura in Pete's arms. Cruelly subverted with Andy and Lucy.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: Admit it, you wanted to see Jo/Paris get an elaborate House of Wax (2005) style death as opposed to getting killed offscreen.
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  • Developing Doomed Characters: Averted completely. The first thirty minutes are spent developing the characters properly and they are all fairly likable (even Paris) with clever dialogue. Those first few minutes are arguably the best part of the film.
  • Dull Surprise: About half the cast.
  • Final Girl: Laura seems like she's a likely candidate but subverted when Pete is the sole survivor.
  • Gory Discretion Shot
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: Damian and Andy.
  • Ho Yay: Pretty much everyone given that they've known each other for years.
  • How We Got Here: The film opens with Laura running distressed through the house in the middle of the night (the finale of the film). We then flash back to the beginning of the day.
  • I Take Offence to That Last One: This little exchange
    Damian: Try sharing a room with Andy. For such a little thing he snores like an elephant.
    Andy: I'm not little
  • Idiot Ball: Emma firstly all of a sudden thinks Tim is the killer because he has a blood stain on his shirt, when he got hit over the head by Tom which results in her unlocking the door and running off.
    • Laura says they shouldn't go anywhere alone then makes to go off on her own, saying "I can take care of myself".
  • Ill Girl: Lucy, who gets stabbed early on and spends most of the film motionless on the couch.
  • Limited Social Circle: Quite a few of the group have dated each other and yet still remain friends. Lampshaded by Laura.
    Laura: "Sometimes I think we should start dating outside the group."
  • Logic Bomb: Tom buys Jo an organiser but she's already bought one. She refuses to give it back because it's the only gift he's ever given her and she wants to keep it.
  • Men Are the Expendable Gender: Inverted. Two of the girls are killed off pretty soon.
  • Noodle Incident: Apparently something happened to Laura and Pete in Amsterdam that involved them ending up at a brothel.
  • Plenty of Blondes: Three of the girls are blonde and one of the guys.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Jo certainly believes this and convinces Tom to take regular scented baths. Damian also wears a pink shirt.
  • Scotland: Part of a little joke Lucy makes to Pete.
  • Sacrificial Lamb: Jo, Tim and Emma.
  • She Cleans Up Nicely: Inverted, the characters spend the first part of the film all dressed up for dinner and the rest in their pyjamas.
  • Ship Tease: Lucy and Pete though justified since they used to date. Tim and Emma as well.
  • Shrinking Violet: Emma.
  • Snow Means Death
  • Snowed-In: It's how the group get trapped in the house though it's already fairly isolated as it is.
  • Stuffed in the Fridge: Jo.
  • You Bastard!: The film's last words actually.

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