Loaded Weapon 1 is a 1993 spoof movie released under the National Lampoon banner. It was directed by Gene Quintano, whom you may remember for writing a few of the Police Academy sequels.
Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson star as Detectives Colt and Luger in a direct parody of the Lethal Weapon movies and buddy cop film tropes (Odd Couple, Salt and Pepper, Police Procedural, etc.). The two cops — Colt is unhinged after recently losing a loved one, while Luger is a stable family man — are teamed up to investigate how and why Wilderness Girl Cookies are being laced with cocaine. Other films that provide grist for the comedy mill here include The Silence of the Lambs and Basic Instinct, while Kathy Ireland, William Shatner, Tim Curry and Jon Lovitz round out the supporting cast.
This movie provides examples of:
- Aborted Arc: Luger's wife bringing home a lot of guys was meant to be a Running Gag in the movie, if two other instances of it in the deleted scenes is anything to go by. The finished film only has her bring home one guy (Ted Polanski).
- Accidental Misnaming:Destiny: Detectives Colt and Loser?Luger: Luger.Destiny: Oh, sorry. Loogie.
- Actor Allusion:
Police Captain: Cappuccino, Expresso? (After manipulating the machine knobs, sparks fly out) Hey, Scotty, can you get this machine to work?!
- The first time we see Tim Curry he is in women's clothing.
- Once again, Frank McRae is Da Chief.
- This cameo:
- Affably Evil: Jigsaw.
- Affectionate Parody: Of buddy cop movies in general, and the Lethal Weapon series in particular.
- The Alcoholic: Colt, due to losing his partner. His typical drink consists of mixing three different types of alcohol and chocolate syrup together. Yum.
- Acronym and Abbreviation Overload:Luger: There's something between you and this General Morters.Colt: He was my C.O. in 'Nam. CIA listed him as M.I.A., but the V.A. ID'd him and so we put out an APB.Luger: Oh, I see.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking:Asylum Nurse: You know the rules. Do not touch the glass. Do not hand him any sharp instruments, power tools, sewing materials or condiments.
- Asian Store-Owner: The convenience store at the beginning features three Indian clerks, only one of whom speaks English.
- Awesome by Analysis: Parodied. Leacher asks Colt and Luger for their identification and they give it; shortly after, he tells Luger that he has a nine year old son and a sixteen year old daughter. Luger, naturally, is furious and demands to know who told him that:Leacher: I saw that picture in your wallet.Luger: Oh. (sits back down).
- Bait-and-Switch: After Becker is shot, he asks Luger if he's going to die. Luger says, "It's not bad. You'll be fine. You'll be back on your feet in no time." Cue Becker being zipped up in a body bag and thrown in a truck.
- Done twice given that he returns later, thinking he was now in the sequel.
- "Basic Instinct" Legs-Crossing Parody: The movie parodies the scene with Destiny (Kathy Ireland) in place of Catherine Tramell. There's a howling audience sitting behind the cops, and the "gratuitous beaver shot" is an actual beaver.
- Bigger on the Inside: Colt's tiny beach-side trailer home is a spacious mansion inside. This is even lampshaded later in the movie:Destiny: You have an interesting place. It's much bigger than it looks from the outside.Colt: I used light colors to make it look bigger.
- Blatant Lies:Jigsaw: Don't play coy with me, this is too important. [...]Billy: [shouting] Important enough that anyone within earshot should listen to each and every detail?!Jigsaw: That important.Billy: [shouting] And you're talking about the microfilm that holds the recipe for turning cocaine into innocent looking cookies?!Jigsaw: YesBilly: I don't know anything about it.
- Bottomless Magazines: Parodied like everything else. Colt does the Dirty Harry "Do I feel lucky" routine...but instead of not being sure if he fired 6 shots or 5, it's 174 or 173.
- Brainless Beauty: The beautiful Destiny literally has nothing between her ears (see In One Ear, Out the Other below.) Doesn't seem to keep her from being Genre Savvy though. Or from knowing a lot about guns.
- Brick Joke: Early in the film, a woman is describing an assailant to a police sketch artist. The drawing is revealed to be Mr. Potato Head. A few scenes later, in the background, we see two cops arresting Mr. Potato Head.Mr. Potato Head: Don't fry me!
- The convenience store that was shot up in the beginning appears a few scenes later in the underground prison, in a temporary facility housed in one of the cells.
- Speaking of the convenience store, when Colt first arrives, he throws a sandwich in the microwave. After the shootout, the microwave dings; his sandwich is smoking and ruined. Amusingly, Colt blames it on the microwave.
- Brief Accent Imitation: Early in the film:Jigsaw: (in thick accent) Now, vere is the meecrofilm?
York: The what?
Jigsaw: Ze meecrofilm.
York: I don't know about any meecrofilm.
- Buddy Cop Film
- Bullet Hole Spelling: One scene has Colt and Luger go to a suspect's apartment to interrogate him. When they ask to be let in, he shoots at them through the door. The bullet holes spell "FU".
- By-the-Book Cop: Luger has a flashback to explain why he's so uptight about following police procedure: As a youth, he was a crossing guard, and took a break early. An old lady crossed the street and got hit by a vehicle as a result.Colt: You were a crossing guard?! You guys were all geeks!
- Emilio's brother Charlie Sheen cameos as a valet.
- Also, Bruce Willis has a cameo later in the film as John McClane. His mobile home is destroyed by accident because the villains got the address wrong. Willis agreed to do the cameo as a favor to his brother David Willis, who is one of the producers of the film.
- The film is just loaded with em. Corey Feldman as a rookie cop, Phil Hartman as Officer Davis (the unfunny standup cop), Frank McRae as Da Chief, Erik Estrada and Larry Wilcox as Ponch and Jon, Paul Gleason as an FBI officer, James Doohan as Officer Scotty, F. Murray Abraham as Harold Leacher, Richard Moll as the prison attendant...
- Catchphrase: Luger parodies Murtaugh's catch phrase from the Lethal Weapon series by saying, "I'm gettin' too old for this bike-confiscating shit."
- A non-parody example: General Mortars frequently says his victims are getting sloppy.
- Chalk Outline: Parodied. When Jigsaw is knocking off the ledge in the climax of the film, he misses his own chalk outline and slides over to lay on top of it.
- Also, earlier in the film, Luger is investigating his partner being killed. He turns around to walk into another room... only to hit an obscene amount of police tape that is blocking the entire door frame.
- Clothing Switch: Colt and Destiny accidentally do this when they flee Colt's trailer.
- Comically Missing the Point:Luger: Coffee, Ted?Luger's wife: Ted's from a dysfunctional family.Luger: Oh, so... no coffee.
- The Coroner: Dr. Joyce Brothers is the coroner investigating York's killing. In an amusing twist, she's portrayed as surly and insensitive:Coroner: All right. This loser has taken the chicken shit way out and punched her own ticket.
- The Coroner Doth Protest Too Much: Parodied. In a blood-splattered crime scene complete with those bullet-hole dotted lines in the wall from random automatic weapon spray, and a victim with a horrified expression on her death face and her hands grasped like claws in defense, this exchange follows:Luger: Suicide, huh? She must have caught herself by surprise.
- Cover Version: Denis Leary's character sings a lounge version of "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks. It's cut short by the Big Bad storming into his mansion.
- Cowboy Cop: Colt.
- Creator Cameo: Robert Shaye, head of New Line Cinema, makes an (uncredited) appearance in the interrogation room; he's the guy sitting to Luger's left. His sister, scream queen Lin Shaye, makes an appearance as a witness.
- Da Chief: As played by Frank McRae in his signature-type role. It's even lampshaded and invoked:[Luger is yelling about wanting the case]
Captain Doyle: Wait a minute! I'm the captain here! I do all the yelling! But if it's that important to you, take the damn case!
- Danger Takes a Backseat: Parodied. At one point as Colt and Luger are driving along, they realize they're "being followed," whereupon it is revealed that two of General Mortars' Mooks are just casually sitting in the backseat armed with machine guns. Our heroes "lose" them by swiftly turning around, and through the magic of Rule of Funny, this causes the two henchmen to simply not be in the car anymore.
- Dead Partner: Luger's partner York is killed at the beginning of the movie, and is the main reason why Luger takes one more case before retirement.
- Defeat Means Friendship: They reference the mandatory "Fist fight fixes their interpersonal issues" trope, and even put in mouth guards before going at it.
- Department of Redundancy Department: Colt: "Well I'm going after Mortars, alone and by myself."
- Disney Death:
- Spoofed: Becker dies only to turn up alive a few scenes later because "I thought this was the sequel."
- Destiny undergoes an Unexplained Recovery at the very end of the film.
- Does Not Like Guns: Luger doesn't carry a weapon. Any time he picks one up, he gets the shakes. We even see a flashback to when he was partnered with York, where she's being held up by a mime and begs Luger to shoot the mime. He gets over this at the end of the film.
- Donut Mess with a Cop: After a cop played by Phil Hartman tells some bad jokes, Luger disgustingly remarks, "Make sure he doesn't get any donuts."
- The Chief has a "Wanted" poster in his office, with the picture being a bunch of donuts. He also has several framed photos of donuts instead of family members or diplomas and certificates.
- Enemy Mime: In a flashback, Luger hesitates to shoot a mime that's holding York hostage with his finger acting as a gun.
- Famous Last Words: Becker: "La comedia e fini." And Destiny: "Get Mortars for me, Colt."
- Five Stages of Grief: Played with. Luger's wife seems to be showcasing the "Denial" stage of grief when it comes to her deceased mother. However, she's actually unaware of it, because Luger forgot to tell her about the death. "Uh oh... did I forget to give you that message?" Luger's wife immediately cries.
- Foot Popping: When Colt and Destiny kiss, both lift one of their legs. However, the longer it goes, both also raise the OTHER leg as well, thus defying gravity.
- Footsie Under the Table: Luger has a REALLY dysfunctional family. While Luger's wife brings home the assistant produce manager, Luger's daughter does this to Colt... and so does his son... and so does his DOG...
- The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: In-universe inversion: when McCracken and his girlfriends are shot up by Mortars, the TV presenter on McCracken's TV hides behind his papers.
- Fridge Logic: In-universe example: After Jigsaw repeatedly shoots York and extracts information from her, he prepares to exit and notices a blind man sitting by the door. He says, "And you, remember: You saw... nothing." Yeah, but he still heard everything important!
- Fun with Subtitles: During the climax, Colt sneaks into the villain warehouse and two German, Nazi-esque guards exchange small talk, complete with subtitles. However, after they leave the scene, the subtitles remain, and Colt trips on them like they're part of the scenery.
- Towards the beginning, the subtitles state the obvious when showing York's house: "Night. A house."
Billy: Listen, it's nine thirty-si-
- In the same scene:
[A subtitle clock appears, Billy sees the time changes from 9:36 to 9:37]
Billy: Oh. Nine thirty-seven.
- Towards the beginning, the subtitles state the obvious when showing York's house: "Night. A house."
- Funny Answering Machine: More like smart answering machine:Answering Machine: You've reached the desk of Sgt. Wes Luger. Please leave a message after the beep.
Billy: Yeah, Wes? It's me, Billy.
Answering Machine: Hey! I said after the beep!
- Funny Background Event: Look closely at the framed pictures in the police captain's office. There are a few pictures of donuts. This ties in with Donut Mess with a Cop, of course.
- Genre Savvy: Destiny may be the Brainless Beauty but she's smart enough to be worried about the Disposable Woman trope, and rightfully so since she gets shot. Happily she gets better.
- Gigantic Gulp: In the beginning, a boy walks out of the convenience store lugging a huge drink called "Turbo Chug".
- The Glasses Gotta Go: In addition with Letting Her Hair Down, the actress playing the role changes.
- Going by the Matchbook
- Grammar Nazi: Luger and Becker have this exchange:Becker: Whoa whoa whoa, I don't know nothin', I didn't see nothin', I didn't say nothin'.
Luger: "Nothing". The word is "nothing", not "nothin'". There's an -ing on the end of it, "nothing".Becker: OK, nothinG. NothinG. NOTHIIIIIIIIING. 'K, you happy?
Luger: That's better. But that's not what you told York.
Becker: I don't know no York, and where's my food?
Luger: We ate it. And please, no double negatives.
Becker: Sorry. I don't know ANY York.
- On the other hand, Luger abandons this a few minutes later when referring to "whomever's in charge".
- Gross-Up Close-Up: Pre-Kathy Ireland Destiny with spinach in her teeth.
- Gun Porn: At the beginning in the convenience store, Colt opens a magazine and is shown unraveling a centerfold, whispering "Oh baby..." It's revealed that he's looking not at a picture of a woman, but a long gun.
- Later Destiny comes on to Colt using verbal Gun Porn, explicitly comparing herself to a gun.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Colt, when asked a simple pleasant question such as "Hello hello, how are you? Nice weather we are having today?" by the convenience store clerks in the beginning:Colt: "Nice weather"? You think we're having NICE weather?! I guess you didn't lose the only one that meant anything in your life. I guess you don't FEEL burned out by the human misery and despair, perpetrated by every criminal vermin that infests every pore of this decaying city, forcing you to guzzle cheap wine and cheaper whiskey to dull the pain that SHATTERS your heart and RIPS at your soul, and keeps your days forever gray. ...what flavor Icee you got today?
- Hand Wave: There's a scene in the movie where Colt and Luger are driving in a car. Suddenly, Luger notices that two thugs are in their backseat. After trying to play it cool, Luger does a 180 in the car and when the camera cuts back to the interior of the car, the thugs are gone.Colt: Nice drivin'.Luger: Thanks.
- Heartbroken Badass: Parodied. Colt is utterly miserable, thanks to the disappearance of Claire, his dog.
- HeelFace Turn: Destiny
- Hero Insurance: At the start of the movie, Jack Colt starts a shootout with robbers that results in an entire store being destroyed, causing far more damage then the robbers would have caused if he just let them take the money.
- Hollywood Silencer: Jigsaw shoots York with a silencer. Quite a few times.
- Hostage Situation: Parodied right down to the clichés:Jigsaw: [Holding Colt hostage] Drop your gun, Mr. Luger!
Luger: I don't have one.
Jigsaw: You're not carrying a weapon?
Luger: I don't believe in them.
[Jigsaw kicks a spare pistol over to Luger]
Jigsaw: Pick up the gun.
[Luger looks confused, picks the gun up]
Jigsaw: Drop the gun, Mr. Luger!
- Parodied again a few seconds later with a flashback in which Colt's ex-partner being held hostage by a mime using his hand.
- Hot Librarian: Parodied. When Destiny debuts in the movie, she's got an ugly hairstyle, glasses, a nerdy voice, and bad teeth. But when she decides to let her hair down, there's a jump cut and suddenly she's Kathy Ireland, looking far more attractive.
- Hypocritical Humor: Demonstrated when Becker asked Destiny, "You need help shaving your legs?" Colt snapped: "Show a little respect!... (to Destiny) So how many men have you slept with?"
- I Call Him "Mister Happy": One of the jokes that the comic cop says:Cop: Say, why'd the guy give a name to his penis? He didn't want a stranger making most of his decisions! (rim shot)
- I'm Your Worst Nightmare: Used in an exchange between Dr. Jigsaw and Colt, and immediately spoofed.Colt: Who are you?
Jigsaw: I... am your WORST nightmare.
Colt: No, waking up without my penis is my WORST nightmare.
Jigsaw: (beat) OK, all right, so I'm not your WORST nightmare, but I'm RIGHT up there.
- I Resemble That Remark!: This scene in the film demonstrates this perfectly:Woman: Captain, you can't seriously be thinking of using this man?! He's dangerous. A menace. A loose cannon. A walking time bomb. Most of all, he is gun happy.Colt: (pulls out a gun and points it at her head) Where do you get off saying that?!
- I'm Cold... So Cold...: Destiny in the climax. She says this after being shot; Colt looks down to see she has two large bags of ice on her feet for some reason.
- Incredibly Obvious Bomb: Colt finds a bomb at the docks because it's heard ticking.
- In One Ear, Out the Other: Destiny sexily asks Colt to blow in her ear. When he does so we get an echoey sound, the hair covering Destiny's other ear visibly sways in the breeze and a candle beside her blows out. Cue Aside Glance from Colt.
- Info Dump: Played with. When Jigsaw questions York about the whereabouts of the microfilm, York says: "You're talking about the microfilm that holds the recipe for turning cocaine into innocent-looking cookies?... I don't know anything about it."
- Is This Thing Still On?: Colt and Luger open up to each other about breast feeding, not realizing their police radio is on. People all around the world, including some astronauts in space, hear their conversation.
- Jurisdiction Friction: Seen briefly in a scene. Colt and Luger search an apartment building for York's contact and run into Paul Gleason, who tells them to beat it, as it's an FBI case. However, when they explain they're there for the York case instead, he says, "Get your shit together, will ya? That's Becker, 403."
- The Ketchup Test: A literal example.
- Key Under the Doormat: Played straight. Colt is able to enter the villain warehouse by finding a key under the mat.
- Lampshade Hanging
- Last Kiss: Parodied. Destiny begs Colt for one last kiss before she dies. However, she's bleeding from the mouth. A reluctant Colt says, "It might not be a good idea... got a touch of the flu." However, he eventually gives in and kisses her, but not before wiping her mouth first.
- Literal-Minded: While investigating an apartment building, Colt and Luger find a man in a hat running down the hall. Luger shouts, "HEY YOU!" The man stops, and Luger says, "Not so fast." The man begins a slow walk. Luger says, "That's better."
- Earlier in the same scene, Luger interrogates the front desk clerk by holding up a picture of York. The clerk asks, "That her?", and Luger responds with, "No, that's her picture."
- Lock-and-Load Montage: Colt prepares for a raid of the villain's warehouse by suiting himself up with tons of guns, Rambo style. However, he is carrying so many guns that he can't walk without falling over from their weight.
- His preparations include a pearl necklace and loading his bandolier with three darts, one with each hand... wait, what?
- Made of Explodium: The bikes that Colt and Luger confiscate for police business explode for no apparent reason. Made even funnier by the fact that Luger promises the kids he took the bikes from that they'd take good care of their bikes. Cue explosion.
- Also happens even more improbably when Colt flicks a cigarete butt into the sea at the start of the film.
- Meaningful Echo: When Colt and Luger are investigating the case, Colt says Luger's more interested in playing by the book than of cracking the case. Luger protests that he's not going to make up the rules as he goes. In the climax, Mortars has Colt at gunpoint and gloats that Luger won't shoot him, because he plays by the book. Luger remarks, "Sometimes, general, you make the rules up as you go." and shoots Mortars dead.
- Medium Awareness:
- There's a scene where the protagonist hurts his leg on the subtitles and kicks them away.
- Another scene has Whoopi Goldberg's character aware of the clock subtitle when she leaves her message on her cop friend's answering machine. She even updates the time she mentions when she notices the clock change by 1 minute.
- Tim Curry as Mr Jigsaw. When Whoopi feigns ignorance of the microfiche he questions her about, he replies "Don't be coy with me, Ms York. This is too important...and it's also the plot."
- Metaphorgotten:The Chief: Don't be so fast to thank me on this Luger, because you gonna be naked on this one! It's on the line for you! People are gonna be watchin'! You blow it, you're goin' down! You screw up, you're gonna be hung out to dry! You drop the ball, you gonna be left twistin' in the wind! If you embarrass this department, your pants will be dancing with figs! Is that clear?!Luger: [confused] Everything but the pants-fig thing.
- Mexican Standoff: The climax features villain Mortars and Jigsaw pointing a gun at Colt, while Destiny points a gun at Mortars.
- Mood Whiplash: After Colt's lengthy rant (see Hair-Trigger Temper above), he immediately asks what flavor Icee the store has today.
- Mook Chivalry: Colt fights off a line of bad guys, who are waiting patiently in line including a ticket machine.
- Motor Mouth: The police captain (played by Frank McRae, who played a similar role in Last Action Hero, released a few months after this).
- Ms. Fanservice: Destiny, of course she's being played by supermodel Kathy Ireland. Parodied, however, in the scene spoofing Basic Instinct when the cops interrogating her get "a gratuitous beaver shot"...which literally is just an actual beaver.
- Narrow Parody: Spoofs the Lethal Weapon series and buddy cop movies in general, plus other films of then-recent vintage (late 1980s/early 1990s). The reveal that Colt's lost partner Claire is a dog is even funnier for those who remember there were two late-'80s films about a cop teaming up with a dog, Turner and Hooch and K-9.
- Negative Continuity: Becker is shot and put in a body bag halfway through the movie. However, by the time of the Basic Instinct parody, he's alive and well. Luger even calls attention to this:Luger: Didn't you DIE?Becker: I thought this was the sequel.
- Additionally, Destiny is seemingly killed during the climax, only to show up in perfect health at the very end.
- No One Should Survive That: Numerous instances already mentioned on the page, but one that hasn't is Colt jumping off a tall bridge in an attempt to land on the villain's passing car, but landing face-first on the pavement instead. He makes a nice clean indent in the pavement and, after a few seconds, gets up, mildly irritated but having no visible injuries. Of course, it is a spoof movie, so...
- Nobody Poops: Averted, as Luger is shown on the toilet.
- Noisy Guns: Jack Colt's service pistol always makes a loud clicking sound whenever he draws it.
- Non-Human Sidekick: Early in the film, Colt mourns the loss of his partner Claire. The audience assumes she's human, but later it's revealed that she's actually a dog.
- One Dialogue, Two Conversations: Luger doesn't realize that Claire is a dog, so he's weirded out by all of Colt's descriptions of what he did with his partner:Luger: You two were living together?
Colt: Hell. She used to sleep at my feet and lick my toes. Though, sometimes she'd forget about me and lick herself for hours.
Luger: (Beat) Huh. Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to get that involved with your partner.
Colt: Hey, pal: You try not getting involved with a partner, she saves your life one minute, then nuzzles your crotch the next.
Luger: Well York and I didn't have that kind of relationship, but when we did get together, she was always excited to see me.
Colt: When Claire was excited to see me, she'd pee on my leg.
Luger: What do you think happened to her?
Colt: Maybe she just took off. I hadn't been paying enough attention to her. I realized how neglected she felt the night she shit in my shoes.
- One Last Job: Luger is days from retirement when he takes the York case.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Parodied with Jigsaw (Tim Curry) in the beginning. He's dressed up as a Wilderness Girl (basically a lawyer-friendly version of the Girl Scouts), but he has a thin beard, is tall, and doesn't make any attempt to disguise his male voice. Somehow, he still manages to gain entrance to York's house despite the horrible disguise.
- Pixellation: When Paul Gleason as the FBI agent arrests a suspect in his case, he's led away with a giant dot covering his face.
- It's not a special effect either, as the reverse shot shows the dot attached to his face by an elastic band (like a mask.)
- Plot Hole: Ever wonder why Colt is suddenly carrying a teddy bear as he runs after Jigsaw halfway through the film? In the extended cut, he won the teddy bear in marksmanship while pursuing Jigsaw. One wonders why they couldn't leave that one bit in so that scene made more sense.
- Because then it would make more sense. Its a spoof, after all.
- Pre-Mortem One-Liner: A parody of the famous Dirty Harry line is heard in the beginning before Colt prepares to blow away one of the thugs. However, he doesn't actually kill the thugs because the microwave in the convenience store dings, letting him know his sandwich is done.Colt: I know what you're thinkin', punk: You're thinking, "Did he fire 173 times, or 174?" Well, do you feel lucky, PUNK?
- Pretentious Latin Motto: Parodied when Colt and Luger first meet Dr. Leacher:Leacher: Quid pro quo, Mr. Colt.
Colt: ...What does that mean?
Leacher: It means I'm pretentious.
- Product Placement: Luger parodies a Head and Shoulders shampoo advertisement. It's a set-up for a later joke that seems to be parodying a Gold Bond foot powder ad, but as it turns out, Irv's foot is just on fire. In a straight example, there are numerous name brands on display at the convenience store in the beginning, including Jonny Cat kitty litter.
- Punny Name: Miss Destiny Demeanor, and General Mortars (General Motors) as well.
- Put Down Your Gun and Step Away: Parodied and invoked. Jigsaw has a gun pointed to Colt's head, and Luger bursts in. Jigsaw orders Luger to throw down his gun or he'll shoot Colt. Luger says he doesn't have a weapon on him, because he doesn't believe in them. Jigsaw kicks a gun towards Luger and orders him to pick it up. As soon as he does, Jigsaw orders him to drop the gun.
- Quote-to-Quote Combat: Between Mortars and McCracken:Mortars: Where's the microfilm, Mike?
McCracken: I don't know. I gave it to York; I thought she was one of your men.
Mortars: Act in haste, repent in leisure.
McCracken: But he who hesitates is lost.
Mortars: Never judge a book by its cover.
McCracken: What you see is what you get.
Mortars: Loose lips sink ships!
McCracken: Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend.
(Jigsaw consults a copy of Bartlett's Quotations and shakes his head)
Mortars: Sorry, Mike, no good.
- Rapid-Fire Comedy
- Rhetorical Question Blunder:Destiny: This has gone far enough. First you use my affection, then you use me to sell drugs through the Wilderness Girls. What kind of a man are you?!Mortars: ...A user.
- Scar Survey: Destiny and Colt do an increasingly over-the-top one parodying the scene from the third Lethal Weapon.
- Scout-Out: As the Girls Scouts is copyrighted, the organization in the film is named Wilderness Girls instead.
- Sequel Hook: Played with in the movie itself. After the climax, the police captain urges Luger to reconsider his retirement, and Luger agrees only if Colt is his partner. The captain thinks it can be arranged, and Colt and Luger say simultaneously: "Sequel."
- Serious Business: At the start of the film, two men walk up to the convenience store clerks with nylons and one of them calmly asks, "Excuse me. Do you have any of these in taupe?" When the clerk says no, one of the guys says, "And you call THIS a convenience store?!" and both proceed to put said nylons over their heads, demanding cash or they'll shoot the clerks dead.
- Destiny is appalled with Mortars less because he is involved with the drug trade than because he is using the Wilderness Girl Cookies of America to sell them, because everyone trusts Wilderness cookies.
- Shaking Her Hair Loose: Parodied. A plain, dowdy woman unties her hair and when she looks up she's played by a completely different actress!
- She Is All Grown Up: Parodied. When Colt and Luger go to the Wilderness Girls headquarters to talk to Destiny, a woman is waiting for them but at first, we only see her from the back. The following exchange occurs:Colt: Not Mary O'Brien, the buck-toothed, freckled-faced, pigtailed little girl I knew in the fifth grade?
Woman: (woman is shown from the front; she matches Colt's description except she's an adult) No I'm not. May I help you?
- Sheet of Glass: Parodied. In the climax, Colt kicks a series of henchmen through glass that just happens to be carried by at the right time. However, during one instance, the glass carriers aren't quite ready yet, so they tell the henchman to stop being knocked back until they get into position. When they're ready, the henchman restarts his fall into the glass.
- Shout-Out: Becker mentions Hot Shots! when Colt tries to disarm the dock bomb, and is about to note how odd it is that Charlie Sheen (Emilio's brother) was in that.
- Slow-Motion Fall: Parodied in extended version when Wes and Colt throw themselves out a window during a fight and fall from the second story. The police that were watching the fight make their way downstairs—and actually beat them there before the two hit the ground. This was even lampshaded.Cop: Good thing they were falling in slow motion or we would've missed this.
- Smoking Hot Sex: Colt and Destiny hop into bed together, and the camera pans left to a clock. A minute later, the camera pans back to Colt and Destiny naked in bed, smoking cigarettes. However, it's later revealed that they didn't actually have sex; they just smoked cigarettes in bed.
- Speed Sex: When Destiny wants to have sex with Colt:Destiny: It'll only take a minute!
Colt: Who told you that?!
- Spiritual Successor: To the ZAZ spoofs.
- Spoofed the Ironic Film Seriously: This movie had the problem in spoofing a film series that obviously didn't take itself all that seriously to begin with. Roger Ebert pointed out the flaw in sending up a movie that featured an exploding crapper.
- Staying Alive: Jigsaw is seemingly killed twice during the climax: first by being thrown off a ledge, and later by being shot and falling into a vat of gasoline. The same goes for Mortars, who is shot in the chest by Destiny and is later shot dead by Luger.
- Stock Footage: Colt enters the sewers to make it on the other side of a fence to the villain's warehouse. Before finding the right exit manhole, he comes across a room which houses the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles playing Trivial Pursuit, which is footage from the 1990 film.
- Stuff Blowing Up: Colt nonchalantly throws a lighted match on the floor of the villain warehouse at the end, causing the place to explode.
- Super Senses: Dr. Leacher is able to know what kind of aftershave Luger wears, as well as what he ate for lunch, just by sniffing. He's not even that close to him, either.
- Sustained Misunderstanding: Between Colt and Destiny:Colt: So what are you doing here?
Destiny: Waiting for you.
Colt: I mean, what brought you here?
Destiny: A taxi.
Colt: Yeah, but why?
Destiny: My car's in the shop.
Colt: (gets out a large sign and reads it) "I mean, why the hell did you come here?"
Colt: She was suppose to met you here the night she died... why?
- Earlier in the film is another example:
Becker: This is where I live...
Colt: Yeah, but why you?
Becker: Because the other guy couldn't come up with the security deposit.
- Take That!: One of the methods of torture on the wall in the maximum security prison is a VHS copy of the box office bomb Howard the Duck.
- Tastes Like Chicken: Played straight during the Silence of the Lambs parody:Colt: I just gotta ask: What does human flesh taste like?
Dr. Leacher: Chicken.
- Theme Naming: Colt and Luger are both pistol manufacturers.
- Think Nothing of It: Parodied. Colt takes care of the thugs who tried to rob the convenience store in the beginning, but is nevertheless shouted at by the Indian clerks for causing massive damage to their store during the shootout. However, Colt is ignorant of their anger (partially because they're shouting in another language that he doesn't know), and replies, "Nah, don't thank me. I'm just a cop, doing his job."
- Those Wacky Nazis: Near the end of the film two Wehrmacht/SS soldiers randomly show up as part of the Mooks guarding Mortars' base.
- Tim Taylor Technology: Parodied with James Doohan's cameo.Captain: Capuccino, espresso! (sparks fly when he tries to use it) Hey Scotty! Can you get this machine to work?
Scotty: I've given it all she's got, captain! If I push it any farther, the whole thing'll blow!
- Title 1
- Toilet Humour: In a scene parodying the toilet bomb part of Lethal Weapon 2, Colt goes into Luger's house because he fears he might be in danger. Colt kicks open the bathroom door to find Luger on the toilet. He asks, "What's wrong?" Luger, confused, says, "...Nothing. Takin' a shit." A flush is heard soon after.
- Too Many Halves:Mortars: Half the payment now, half tomorrow, half on delivery.
- Toplessness from the Back: While at Destiny's trailer, we get a scene of Emilio Estevez nude from the rear. Colt states that this is "so that the film can get a PG-13 rating".
Colt: I'm just taking one of those unmotivated "butt in the moonbeam" walks.
- In the original theatrical cut, Destiny asks Colt what he's doing.
- Trail of Blood: Parodied: It turns out to be ketchup.
- Turn in Your Badge: The badge isn't turned in, but Colt and Luger are ordered off the case because the captain thinks their theory is crazy.
- Unexplained Recovery: At the end Destiny comes back even though she was quite dead last time she was seen.
- Visual Pun:
- During the Basic Instinct parody, "Gratuitous beaver shot", where Destiny briefly turns into an actual beaver.
- While interrogating Becker, Luger tells him that he's got a box of matches which says he's lying. Those words are literally written on the back of said box.
- Waxing Lyrical: "Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend."
- World of Ham: When you've got both William Shatner and Tim Curry in the same film, you know the ham levels are at critical mass.
- Wire Dilemma: Played straight at first when Colt has to disarm the dock bomb. However, it quickly becomes ridiculous when snipping the wires has various unintended effects, such as shutting down the nearby houseboat lights and causing a city-wide blackout.
- You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: After Jigsaw gets the info out of York, he shoots her. Unfortunately, she hadn't quite outlived her usefulness and he has to keep asking her more questions, shooting her again and again each time. At one point she even volunteers info before he shoots her again.