This is the Eldritch horror we could manage with a total budget of €6,000 for the whole film.
Karate a Muerte en Torremolinos (translation: Karate to Death in Torremolinos) is a 2003 Spanish horror film (copyright 2000 and 2001, released 2003) directed by Pedro Temboury and written by Temboury and Pablo Álvarez Almagro. It is a B-Movie featuring graphic violence, gore and nudity that attained several Medals of Dishonor before its So-Bad-Its-Good-ness turned it into a Cult Classic for horror fans in Spain.
The plot features a megalomaniac magician, Dr. Malvedades, who intends to bring back Jocántaro, a Beast of the Apocalypse. To do this, he uses underwater ninja zombies to kidnap five women who had recently lost their virginity for human sacrifices. As the zombies leave a trail of murders, the authorities try to contact with professionals - a martial artist and a parapsychologist. Meanwhile, Jess, a Catholic surfer who has commited to remain chaste until he's 24, tries to rescue his girlfriend, one of the kidnapped girls, along with his friends.
Tropes in Karate a Muerte en Torremolinos include:
- The Ace: Chuk Lee, a martial artist clearly based in Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee; and later Dr. Orloff, a parapsychologist.
- Anyone Can Die: And they do: Four of the five-man band; Jess's girlfriend.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Orloff describes Malvedades as mysterious, evil, Argentinean and megalomaniac.
- Badass Preacher: Brother Fernando learns martial arts and uses shuriken but it's in vain.
- Beard of Evil: Malvedades.
- Beast of the Apocalypse: Jocántaro.
- The Cameo: Jess Franco as the spirit of master Miyagi.
- Cheap Costume: In this case, for real: The ninja zombies, Jocántaro, the aliens, even Malvedades's sorcerer clothes, are low-budget.
- The Commandments: We only hear the third commandment of the Catholic Surfers: You will surf daily if you want to reach spirit peace.
- Credits Gag: The credits are interrupted by a radio host who had narrated some scenes in the movie. He openly says: "We are sorry to interrupt the ending credits, but the dead are raising from their tombs and walking to the homes of their closest relatives!". There are a few other scenes during the credits.
- Curse: As Jess failed to share all of his hashish with Miyagi, Miyagi curses Jess with an illness that causes non-stop itching all over his body, and that can only be healed by him having sex - even if he has made a chastity vow until he's 24. The curse is done by Miyagi grabbing his own snot and throwing it to Jess's mouth.
- Downer Ending: The heroes fail to stop Malvedades, who laughs with a harem of resurrected girls; only Jess has survived. Jocántaro wrecks havoc in the city (and even fights the aliens from outer space, apparently winning because they are not in the next scene, and Jocántaro is). Jocántaro later kills Malvedades.
- Eldritch Abomination: Jocántaro.
- Evil Mentor: We discover that Orloff had been Malvedades's disciple, even if they are now enemies.
- Evil Sorcerer: Dr. Malvedades.
- Evil Wears Black: The ninjas are completely dressed in black.
- Finger in the Mail: The villains send Chuk Lee's head to the mayor in a box.
- Good Wears White: To some point: The martial artists killed by the ninjas, including the school and Chuk Lee, all wear white. This may be Colour-Coded for Your Convenience considering that the ninjas wear black.
- Human Sacrifice: Bringing back Jocántaro requires the sacrifice of five teenage girls who had lost their virginity.
- I Love the Dead: The ninjas want sex with the prisoner girls; but Malvedades wants them to wait until after the Human Sacrifice.
- Immune to Bullets: Jocántaro. It seems immune to everything.
- I See Dead People: Spiritism is used to contact with a dead girl. She recommends contacting with the also deceased Miyagi, but the heroes find Miyagi is not available right now, they have contacted his family home.
- Make Me Wanna Shout: Malvedades and Orloff both have a whistle-based attack. Malvedades also knows a whistling spell.
- Male Frontal Nudity: Jess gets naked because of the itch all over his body.
- Medal of Dishonor: The movie won 4 Godoy awards (Spanish equivalent to Golden raspberries) for art direction, special effects, wardrobe and make-up/hairdresser (the only nomination in this last category); and was nominated to three others: Worst movie, director and writing.
- Mister Strangenoun: Chuk Lee is named after Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee (both are in the "special thanks" part of the credits). Dr. Orloff is named after a character in early movies by Jess Franco, who acts in the movie. Franco's character Miyagi is after Karate Kid. The protagonist is named Jess, probably also after Franco. Custó is named after Jacques Cousteau.
- Monstrous Cannibalism: The ninja zombies eat their victims. Malvedades also bites the heart of one of the Human Sacrifices.
- Mook Chivalry: The ninjas wait patiently to fight Chuk, so that Chuk only has one enemy at a given time (and even then, they win). They are more polite than the two muggers that Chuk defeated just before that.
- Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: Doctor Malvedades. Dr. Orloff doesn't look like a Ph.D. at all, too.
- Mugging the Monster: Two men try to mug martial arts star Chuk Lee, only to be humiliatingly defeated.
- The Music Meister: Orloff hypnotizes the mayor and his team so that they start singing - quite badly.
- Photo Op with the Dog: The mayor appears on TV with the distressed mother of a victim.
- Police Are Useless: That's why the mayor has to resort to external consultants.
- Public Domain Artifact: The Necronomicon.
- Sealed Evil in a Can: Jocántaro destroyed a civilization, then was sealed underwater by five teenage virgins - that's why the Human Sacrifice of five teenage non-virgins can bring it back.
- Sentimental Drunk: Applied to hashish. Manolo likes Jess because he's the only one who treats him well. Due to this, Manolo tells Jess the legend of Jocántaro.
- Sexy Priest: The nun's habit must allow her to surf...
although we don't really see her surfing, only holding a board. Still, the high-heeled boots make no sense at all. - Special Effect Failure: Constantly. The mutilations are clearly fake. The limbs and heads that are thrown are different from those of the victims. Sometimes, there's no blood, and suddenly a person appears covered in red. When doing spiritism, the actors are visibly shaking the chair and table. The technology Orloff uses is clearly a Simon toy. Even the press cut they show the mayor, with an ad of Orloff, has the ad clearly stuck over a different page in a newspaper. Don't make me start with the monsters...
- Spirit Advisor: Miyagi.
- Supernatural Martial Arts: Miyagi trains the Band. It's for nothing...
- Training Montage: While learning martial arts from Miyagi; they also learn to eat rice with chopsticks because... it sounds Asian?
- Ultimate Authority Mayor: The mayor seems to be the highest authority ever. Subverted when the mayor tries to blame the central government for the murders.
- Ungrateful Bastard: Jocántaro kills Malvedades during the end credits.
- Virgin Power: As long as Danuta remains a virgin, she is not targetted.
- You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Jocántaro kills Malvedades during the end credits.
