Still don't care.
A Lifetime Channel Made-for-TV Movie starring Grumpy Cat (voiced by Aubrey Plaza), who lives in a pet store, and finds herself able to communicate with a lonely girl via a magical wish.
Tropes. Hate 'em.
- Achievements in Ignorance: At one point, Grumpy Cat gets behind the wheel of a car and starts driving. When Crystal asks how this is possible, since Grumpy can't even reach the pedals, the car stops immediately. Grumpy snarks "Thanks, you HAD to say that." Turns out it was all just an Imagine Spot anyway.
- Adults Are Useless: Every single adult either is totally incompetent or distracted with something else to care about Crystal, which leads to her having to stop a million-dollar robbery all by herself - and her mother doesn't realize she's gone until towards the very end.
- And Starring: Aubrey Plaza as the voice of Grumpy Cat.
- The Aragorn: Grumpy Cat manages to be both this and The Load at the same time.
- As Herself: The real Grumpy Cat plays herself in the movie.
- Ascended Meme: In real life, of course, Grumpy Cat herself first found fame as an Image Macro on the internet.
- Black Comedy Rape: After the crooks are arrested, Crystal is asked if they did anything to her. Grumpy breaks the fourth wall and says that (in a move doubling as Biting-the-Hand Humor) that's a different kind of Lifetime movie. Hooray for rape jokes!
- Cats Are Snarkers: Grumpy Cat is this in spades.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: One of the junior executives for the mall doesn't exactly try to hide his feelings towards Mr. Crabtree's store, and when he finds out the theft of the dog would close down the store, he decides to look the other way. Fortunately, he gets his comeuppance.
- Deadpan Snarker: Grumpy Cat constantly snarks about everything around her, including the very movie she's in.
- Disappeared Dad: Crystal's parents are divorced, and her father is too busy forming a new family to even call her.
- Dissimile: Grumpy tries to convince the adolescent Crystal that driving a car is no big deal: "Don't worry, it's like riding a bike, but everything's different, so you have to be careful or you could die."
- Even Evil Has Standards: George claims that he is greedy, not evil, and wouldn't even think about hurting Crystal just to get the info he needs. Subverted that, while he won't hurt Crystal, he would have no problem hurting Grumpy Cat and threatens to throw her in a trash compactor.
- Fourth-Wall Observer: The titular Grumpy Cat.
- Girl Posse: A trio of three girls who Crystal tries to talk to only for them to insult her. At one point, they show up out of thin air, just to mock Crystal for talking to Grumpy. They get their comeuppance during the credits when all three get coal in their stockings.
- Groin Attack: Jack the Jack Russell terrier does this to a bad guy.
- Hard Work Hardly Works: Crystal's mom thinks her daughter needs to be more sociable and try to make friends. Crystal's actual problem is that she does try, but the other girls reject her and are cruel to her for "no good reason."
- Human-Focused Adaptation: The plot is about a girl trying to stop a couple of burglars from stealing an expensive dog from a pet shop, which was going to be used to keep the store from closing down. Grumpy spends most of the time being towed around and making wisecracks. Lampshaded though, as Grumpy keeps trying to remind the audience that this is her movie.
- Imagine Spot: The movie's loaded with em.
- Just Desserts: The bad girls find coal in their Christmas stockings at the end of the movie.
- Lampshade Hanging: Grumpy does this all the time.
- Living MacGuffin: Jojo. Grumpy even calls him that. Even if she didn't know what it means.
- Lock-and-Load Montage: Crystal gearing up with paintball equipment.
- Make a Wish: Crystal made a wish with a magic wishing Christmas coin and threw it into a wishing fountain.
- Nobody Here but Us Statues: Crystal freezes like a mannequin to avoid detection during the paintball scene.
- No Fourth Wall: Grumpy narrates throughout the whole film, aware of what she's in, and even asks for Audience Participation.
- Hell, Grumpy's voice actress, Aubrey Plaza, breaks it to say she has top billing. (She doesn't)
- Police Are Useless: George. It turns out he invoked the whole 'bumbling security' image so no one would suspect that he masterminded the heist.
- Product Placement: Played for laughs. Grumpy even tries to sell us things while making her Rousing Speech to the other pet store animals:
Grumpy: This team is going to win! Wearing Grumpy T-shirts, Grumpy baseball caps and Grumpy glow in the dark buttons, AM I RIGHT!?
- Rousing Speech: Grumpy delivers one to her fellow pet store animals.
- Saving the Orphanage: The mall wants to take the pet store's spot to put in a new business.
- Shot in the Ass: The two Stupid Crooks get shot in the butt with paintballs.
- To the Home Alone series, as Crystal sets a trap for the villains at one point, on top of the whole "kid alone in a building foils two dim-witted burglars around Christmas" premise.
- Grumpy Cat unfavorably compares George to Keyser Soze.
- Speaks Fluent Animal: A rare example of the person who speaks animal only being able to speak to one animal in particular.
- Stupid Crooks: The main antagonists. They decided that rather than stealing a bunch of jewelry which they could sell or pawn off, they will steal a famous dog that's worth more but can't sell. This is lampshaded by their boss, who decides to hold the dog for ransom instead.
- Take That!: It pokes gentle fun at the frequent type of plot (and budget) of other Lifetime films. It also pokes fun at itself, with Grumpy asking, after each commercial break, why you're still watching.
- They Wasted a Perfectly Good Sandwich: Crystal's mother is talking to a man who is trying to ask her out. The whole scene, there's a sandwich in front of them, that never gets touched. Grumpy of course notes this.
Grumpy Cat: "Blah, blah, blah, are you ever gonna eat that sandwich?"
- Those Two Guys: Donny and Zack. Both are Mooks to the mastermind but they are far too stupid to be considered actual threats.
- Wham Line: "We're not calling the cops."
- Wishing Well: Crystal uses a magic Christmas coin on one to make a wish for a friend. She ended up gaining the ability to understand Grumpy Cat.
- Wouldn't Hurt a Child: The security guard assures Crystal that he's not going to hurt her. But Grumpy Cat, however...